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LETTER FROM AN EDITOR
Hey, y’all!
Welcome back to school. Seriously cannot believe the semester is here already–Summer went by too fast, but I’m excited to be back on campus. This month’s issue is our Highlights edition! It’s a little taste into who we are and what you’ll be seeing in the future from us at 22 West. The articles and art are highlights from our 2023-2024 school year and I hope y’all enjoy them as much as I do! If you don’t know who we are, we are a student led, student ran multimedia company here on campus! Our office is located on the first floor of the USU just across from the pool tables– come by and say hi! If you are interested in volunteering, you should look at our instagram @22westlb for information/ links! We are a free speech platform and we accept articles, poetry, art, photography, etc. Email me with any questions at jpuckett@22westmedia.com ! Good luck this semester and we hope to see y’all around the office! Enjoy this highlights issue and as always live, laugh, love,
JENSEN PUCKETT EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
I, like many others, signed up to be an RA to help others like myself feel more comfortable in campus housing and also because I am poor and had no other options. I felt nervous at first; the responsibility, the time management, and the acknowledgement that there are people whose lives may change drastically depending on my ability to solve their issues. Even with all anticipation, I wasn’t prepared for what was about to happen before I officially even started. The treatment I received during training was, for better or worse, exactly how I expected it to be for someone Non-Bi-nary like me. I was not the first Non-Binary RA to undergo training at Long Beach State University, but the issues I faced were definitely still constant and unfortunately predominant.
For context, I was placed in Hillside B, the Pride House. However, I had to be temporarily assigned to Los Alamitos while Hillside B underwent construction. The first issue I noticed after narrowly making the drive in my overfilled nearly-to-the-ceiling car was that the first floor wings were separated by gender. Men on one side, women on the other, and communal bathrooms meant for people of the same gender to awkwardly avoid each other while showering. All of my legal documentation and even my information on the school database lists me as Non-Binary, yet I was placed in female housing. I had to move my things in and deal with being sweaty and exhausted with no access to a shower as the gender neutral bathrooms on the first floor only had a toilet and sink. After dealing with so much that day, I just fell asleep and figured I would deal with it the next day. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the end of my ordeals with gender segregation on campus.
I contacted my supervisor about my issue and asked why I was placed in female housing. They offered me male or gender neutral housing, but the whole situation could have been avoided entirely if they had simply asked me questions prior to my arrival. As for the bathroom issue, it was decided that a bathroom on an empty floor would be designated to be off limits for everyone else. It was nice having the entire space to myself, but it really dawned on me that my gender was not taken into consideration when I applied to be an RA, even though I heavily argued that it would be essential to have representation in the
Queer dorms. I have yet to find an explanation as to why I was placed there, as my supervisor told me the decisions were made above them. It was tabulated in forms, documentation, and other office buzzspeak that really showed it was either incompetence, laziness, or the campus just straight up not even considering Non-Binary genders. I thought it would get better once training started, but it only got worse from there. Training happened at the Pointe for two weeks, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. . There, I would sleepily watch PowerPoint presentations on how to talk to people, write paperwork, and the various busy work RAs would be subjected to. Besides internally dying doing group activities for the sake
“It’s hard looking at this school knowing full well other people like me are either erased or just not at all recognized in some of the practices of a school that prides itself on being inclusive.”
of “group fun” (because we all know everyone who takes this job does so because they just love mandatory fun times) I discovered another issue: the Pointe has no gender neutral bathrooms, which was a surprise to the training staff when I pointed it out. The Pyramid and Dance Center, the closest buildings that have gender neutral bathrooms, were locked during all of training. My only options were Parkside Service Center, or if that was closed, walk all the way back to Hillside. Since our short breaks were usually less than 10 minutes or so, my only option was to wait to be let out for our lunch or dinner. The other solution that was proposed by the training staff was to block off one of the bathrooms in the Pointe while I used it, as if I really wanted to be that person that denied everyone else a bathroom. I was frustrated every time I took my long walks to relieve myself,
especially on days where I had been holding it for a while. It was wrong for me to be treated this way and I knew I had to escalate.
I reported the issue to Title IX. Besides being given a map of the campus gender neutral bathrooms, even though this was during the summer and there would be no guarantee the bathrooms would even be open, I was told that any event or training I had to attend where I did not have access to a gender neutral bathroom to give them a call.
I just felt so...unseen. No one else was having this issue, and if they were, the process of speaking up would have been too much to handle for someone who’s speaking out against the very employer that also houses them. I know there is no single individual to blame for this because the issue is with the whole administration, which has jaded my views and put a chip on my shoulder towards anything to do with the school not inherently designed for people like me in mind. And since I represent people like me in Pride House, these issues will go on to be something I speak up about with the Residents.
Dealing with the stress of moving, being misgendered by the Housing administration, and a lack of access to gender-neutral bathrooms were all part of my experience as an RA, before I was officially an RA. The worst part is I’ll have to continue with this job as I cannot afford housing otherwise. It’s hard looking at this school knowing full well other people like me are either erased or just not at all recognized in some of the practices of a school that prides itself on being inclusive. While there is still a way to go, I know I’ll do my part to make it easier for the next one like me to not have to deal with being erased. It’s also the reason why I go by my middle name. I won’t be put into a black and white binary, I’ll just be Gray.
BOTTOMS UP
WRITTEN BY JUDE SAMPSON
I’m of the firm belief that movie watching is a divine, communal experience and that the theater is a house of worship. The artificially dyed slushee is my holy water, the popcorn is my body of Christ, and Emma Seligman’s new bloody lesbian sex comedy Bottoms is my bible.
It’s a movie that pays homage to the highschool rom-coms we all grew up watching at sleepovers while simultaneously turning the genre on its head and allowing its characters to be deeply flawed, horny, and violent – all in the name of lesbianism.
Director and co-writer Emma Seligman in an interview for Cultured Magazine touched on wanting to put queer people into a universe that reflected the films she watched growing up. “I wanted to take on the genres that I wish I could have seen myself in as a kid—these movies where boys fight to get the girl,” she said.
Seligman delivers in her efforts to spin the boy-girl love story for a new, much gayer generation, because in Bottoms, girls fight the girl... to get the same girl.
The film follows two best friends, Josie and PJ, who have been dubbed the “ugly, untalented gays” of their student body. Played by Ayo Edebiri and Rachel Sennott, the pair find themselves at a social and romantic standstill as they start another school year as sad, lesbian virgins.
They both harbor longtime crushes on the cheerleaders Isabel and Brittany, played by Havana Rose Liu and Kaia Gerber. PJ pines for Brittany openly, while Josie quietly (and pitifully) attempts to make her feelings for Isabel known. Before an embarrassing encounter with them at a school carnival, the two shoot down their classmate Hazel’s (Ruby Cruz) questions about their summer, allowing her to believe that they spent their break in juvie. Hazel spreads this rumor and therefore the idea that Josie and PJ are badass criminals, which is only believed more after it’s revealed they hit the school’s star quarterback
ILLUSTRATION BY KRIZZHA DEE
with a car the night of the carnival. Isabel and Brittany take note of them for a fleeting second, so the obvious next step is for the two to start an all-female fight club to get closer to and eventually hook up with their crushes.
This small taste of the film’s plot is like something I could have only ever envisioned in my dreams. As a lesbian screenwriting major, I have watched oodles of “lesbian movies” – many simply for the sake that they have a lesbian
“I pray that the cast and everyone involved in the making of the movie are feeling the love, because I felt it the moment I stepped foot into my first viewing.”
character or romance at its center. Many of my favorites are very dramatic and emotional, which I adore. I’m definitely guilty of crying to many a sad lesbian film.
Still, can’t we have a little fun sometimes?
I grew up closeted, being forced to watch the very heterosexual high school movies of our youth surrounded by squealing girls at sleepovers. It’s not that I never enjoyed watching these! It’s very easy to endure straight couples in media when you simply pretend the man is a butch lesbian (10 Things I Hate About You). With Bottoms though, I no longer have to pretend.
Josie and PJ are such good representation that millions of years from now when our cities are entrenched in dust, archaeologists will find evidence showing how beloved they are in the
OCTOBER 2023 OUTOBER ISSUE
sphere of lesbian media. Emma Seligman is a queer woman who understood herself, and subsequently her audience, while co-writing this film with Rachel Sennott.
Josie and PJ have zero game. They are beloved by no one. They lie. They fight each other to impress girls. It’s a version of the lesbian experience so niche to being gay in high school that sitting in the theater for my first viewing felt like looking in a mirror.
However, I cannot in good conscience say that I relate to every aspect of this movie. Was I a gay loser in high school? Of course. Did I ever kiss a girl? Or do anything romantic with a girl? Absolutely not. You know who kissed girls in high school? Josie. Josie is a quiet but kind loser who starts the film with little to no backbone. She says goofy things in front of the girl she is madly in love with and by virtue of being goofy... they end up together. Experiencing a “she fell first, but she fell harder” trope on the big screen forced my viewing party to call me an ambulance to escort me out.
I’d also be a fool to not mention the cultural impact the film has had since the moment it got greenlit. Last year, I remember reading the Deadline article that described the plot and confirmed Edebiri and Sennott were playing our titular heroes. LGBTQ+ people from every corner of the internet came together to collectively approve of the film and create countdowns to when they’d finally be able to watch it.
Ever since it received a wide release (meaning it went from playing in 10 theaters nationwide to 700), my entire social media sphere has been nothing but edits using pirated footage from inside movie theaters. My TikTok feed is just edits of Havana Rose Liu as Isabel, but the footage was taken by someone sitting in the front row at their showing so she looks 80 feet tall. The footage is blurry and the theater audio is trash, but the comment sections are always a symphony of
people going “I need her” and “she’s so pookie”. Do not be fooled by my tone. I am also an active participant in this lesbian chorus.
The Bottoms social media account is also extremely active on every platform, reposting videos that fans of the movie have been making and replying to Ruby Cruz thirst tweets with kind words of agreement. I hope the intern running that account is making good money.
Because the actors could not promote the movie due to the ongoing SAG-AFTRA strike (union strong), the account simply reposts videos
and pictures of things like Rachel Sennott at New York Fashion Week and Ayo Edebiri throwing out the first pitch at a Red Sox game (absolute dream job). I pray that the cast and everyone involved in the making of the movie are feeling the love, because I felt it the moment I stepped foot into my first viewing. It was just gay people giddy with excitement, taking pictures with the film’s poster and armed with 7-Eleven snacks at an overpriced movie house. Characters said things like: “No, if we keep it up we can put our fingers inside of each other,” and the raucous laughter
that followed was confirmation that Seligman and Sennott are never allowed to put their pens down. When Josie and Isabel kissed for the first time, people clapped and cheered, and I was given a second to look around and think. Lesbian fist fighting, an Avril Lavigne needle drop, bloody cheerleader uniforms, small-scale terrorism, Ayo Edebiri kissing women, and a sidelining of male characters led me to my conclusion.
This was our Super Bowl. Our bloody, horny, lesbian Super Bowl; and Emma Seligman led lesbians everywhere down the road to victory.
The Fall season is underway, the leaves have changed color, that annoying “cold in the morning hot as hell in the afternoon” weather has returned, and the labor union strikes of the summer are as strong as ever. The summer kicked off with Hollywood on strike after the Writer’s Guild of America and the Screen Actors Guild-American Federation of Television and Radio Artists both decided to go on strike. Hollywood and the entertainment industry were not the only ones that were met with strikes this past summer. The US auto industry is seeing strikes increase after the United Auto Workers union went on strike in September.
Even though we’re seeing labor unions striking in record numbers recently, they’ve had a presence in the US for some time now. Strikes can be traced as far back as 1768 when journeymen tailors in New York protested a wage reduction. The early labor movement in the US mostly involved artisans with craft trades forming local trade unions to combat cheap labor and long workdays. This was a way for trade workers to defend their trades amidst the beginnings of the Industrial Revolution, which saw factory employees endure unsafe working conditions, long workdays, and low wages.
The first labor union, the National Labor Union, was established in 1866 after the presidents of the Iron Molders’ International Union and Blacksmiths Union held a meeting together. The National Labor Union was not only the first union but also the first to make a national call for an 8-hour workday.
Decades later we’re still seeing unions be a fixture in the American workforce. While unions certainly still exist today, not as many Americans are members of one as in previous decades. According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 1983 20.1% of Americans were members of labor
unions. In 2022, it dropped to 10.1%. The labor unions although not as prominent as they once were they are still standing strong and making waves.
Take for instance the WGA strike that went on from May to September. The strike was a result of a failed contract negotiation between the WGA Negotiating Committee and studios and streamers such as Netflix, Amazon, Apple Disney, Discovery-Warner, NBC Universal, Paramount, and Sony under the umbrella of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP).
A main demand of the new contract was that the WGA sought to have fair pay amidst writers stating that studios and streamers’ business practices cut their compensations and residuals. Residuals are
“With studios and streamers cutting residuals, writers argued that being a writer had become an unsustainable profession.”
long-term payments for writers who have worked on a television show or movie that pays said writers for reruns and airings after the initial release of the movie or TV show. With studios and streamers cutting residuals, writers argued that being a writer had become an unsustainable profession. The AMPTP’s final offer was rejected by the WGA as their response to the writers’ proposals was refusing them or providing insufficient counter
offers. The WGA stated that the AMPTP’s contract proposal would open the door to making writing an entirely freelance profession.
After months of picketing, striking and negotiating the WGA and AMPTP reached a tentative agreement on a new Minimum Basic Agreement (MBA) on September 24, ending the strike. The new contract was voted on with 99% of WGA members voting in favor to ratify it. The new contract is a win for writers, offering better pay and residual increases, protection from AI-generated writing, and greater employment guarantees for series and streaming screenwriters.
After months of striking, the writers are back to work again. However, not all of Hollywood is done striking. The SAG-AFTRA strike has been going on since July 14 and recently reached its 100-day mark. The strike was called after failed contract negotiations between SAG-AFTRA and AMPTP amidst SAG-AFTRA’s Television/Theatrical/ Streaming contracts expiring with no new contract being agreed upon. SAG-AFTRA stated that they had been bargaining for four weeks prior to calling the strike and that the AMPTP, who represent the studios and streamers, had not offered fair deals on key contract issues of SAG-AFTRA members. The AMPTP responded saying that the proposed contract offered historic pay and residual increases and an AI proposal which protects actors’ digital likeness. Pay and residual increases and protection from actors’ digital likeness being used have been some of SAG-AFTRA’s key contract concerns.
On October 2, SAG-AFTRA and the AMPTP began to bargain over the contract again. After attempts to negotiate, SAG-AFTRA released a statement to its members saying that the industry CEO’s walked away from bargaining after refusing to counter their latest offer. SAG-AFTRA also
SEASON OF STRIKES
WRITTEN
BY
SOFIA CARLOS
BY
stated that the AMPTP’s offer was worth less than what they proposed before the strike. The AMPTP according to SAG-AFTRA is claiming to protect actors’ consent with AI and digital likeness but is continuing to demand consent from actors on their first day of work for their digital likeness. On October 21, the SAG-AFTRA strike reached its 100-day mark. Negotiations are set to begin again on October 24 after company executives have asked to return to bargaining.
Strikes have not been just confined to Hollywood recently, they have extended to other industries including the auto industry. The United Auto Workers union (UAW) members who work at Ford, GM and Stellantis went on strike on September 15 beginning what the union is calling the Stand Up Strike. Detroit being the auto making capital of the US, is also home to Ford, GM, and Stellantis the city’s big three automakers. The strike was authorized after union leaders and the big three automakers were unable to reach a deal. Some of the UAW’s main demands are better benefits, defined-benefit pensions restored for new hires, and a pay increase of 36% from Ford, GM, and Stellantis.
A point the UAW is driving home is that these companies have seen record high profits in recent years. According to the Associated Press, Ford, GM, and Stellantis have collectively made $20 billion just this year and have a collective net income of $164 billion. Currently Ford, GM, and Stellantis are offering record contracts with a 23% pay increase over a four-year period and an increase in benefits. However, UAW president Shawn Fain said that what the companies are currently offering is not enough and that the union can get more from them.
Although they remain unwavering, it’s unknown what the outcome of the SAG-AFTRA and UAW strikes will look like. The UAW is pushing for the big three automakers to put more on the table for their contract. SAG-AFTRA is going into another round of negotiations with company executives as their strike pushes past 100 days. As negotiations for both continue, we will have to wait and see how the battle between union members and big corporations unfold.
WRITTEN BY JUDE SAMPSON
ILLUSTRATION BY PHYKE
SORIANO
NOVEMBER 2023
COMMUNITY ISSUE
“FUCK YOUR BOYFRIEND, TAKE SOME CHAPSTICK”
HOW COMMUNITY EXISTS IN CLUB BATHROOMS AND THE LIKE.
Inever knew how comforting an unfamiliar voice could feel until I entered a club bathroom.
I remember stumbling into the bathroom of a club that I no longer frequently visit (because the music is garbage), sweat in my eyes and my cargo pants getting caught underneath my shoes. It was a particularly crowded night, and I had to descend the world’s steepest staircase to find a place to get some air.
People had been bumping into me, the comically awful music was making my head hurt, and since I refused to buy a $12 bottle of water (the joys of 18+ nightclubs) I was severely dehydrated. I was like a lone soul traveling through a windy desert –except the desert was a crowded nightclub and the wind was random girls blowing their stiiizy pods in my face.
On this particular night, I entered the bathroom breathing heavily, clutching the front of one of the sinks and keeping my head down for fear I might throw up. I splashed water on my face until I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Hey, are you okay?”
It was a foreign voice. A vocal register that did nothing to jog my memory. Then I looked up, and the face was unfamiliar also. A stranger to me. Even as I write this, she is still a stranger.
Her face was kind. Her voice was concerned. I nodded my head yes, and she reached into her very tiny purse to offer me a sip of her water. I took it wordlessly, and nodded my head in appreciation. She smiled, fixed her hair, and waved goodbye. I never saw her again.
This 2 minute long interaction reset my mind and body for the night. I felt energized! Rejuvenated! And it was all thanks to a random stranger in a club bathroom.
From here on out, I began to examine the ways we find community in these dimly lit, sometimes odd-smelling places.
It’s when someone offers you some of their aquaphor. It’s when you’re ¾ of the way in some-
one’s mirror picture and you both laugh and you end up taking a regular mirror picture together. You’ll never see it, but it’s on their phone. A 10 second instance on a random friday night immortalized forever in their camera roll. That is your little two person community.
It’s when a girl whose mascara is ruined takes out a cigarette, and while some people remind her it’s not the 1970’s and she can’t smoke indoors, you lead her outside and light it for her. You can recognize that she has had a night and needed assistance from someone. Anyone. And you decided it would be you. That’s community.
It’s when you hear someone crying in the stall
“It’s a short, fleeting glimpse into their life, and their appearance in the bathroom takes on the same form.”
next to you, and upon examining the faces in the bathroom mirror you identify the weeping culprit. Other strangers console them too, beating the phrases “Fuck him!” and “You’re too sexy to be sad!” to an absolute pulp. Uplifting others in their time of need. That’s community.
It’s when you huddle in the corner of the bathroom with your friends looking for a spot to eat at once you escape the sweaty confines of the club, and a stranger pokes their head in and recommends a place down the street. It’s a short, fleeting glimpse into their life, and their appearance in the bathroom takes on the same form. Thank you, kind stranger. As the food hits my stomach I will be thinking of you.
I think maybe my affinity for examining these things comes from a place of longing. I wish every space in every city across the world could be like this. I wish it didn’t take being tipsy in a strange
bathroom at 2am for some people to compliment strangers on their outfits. We should be doing that everywhere!
At the risk of sounding like a complete geezer, I think people don’t talk enough anymore. I’m not talking about texting or communicating via social media. I’m talking two human people, flesh and all, looking each other in the eyes and having a conversation.
Some of the most riveting conversations I’ve had have been with drunk strangers in club bathrooms. They begin organically- I compliment their shoes or they compliment my shirt. We introduce ourselves, sometimes we shake hands, and we talk about our nights. Maybe I give them a piece of gum. Maybe they put rhinestones on my face.
Maybe life could be like this all the time. Maybe we could all simultaneously cut the crap and admit that a lot of us yearn for human connection. Maybe we could accept that the love that overflows out of the poorly managed sinks in club bathrooms fosters a kind of community that should be accessible to everyone.
If it was daytime in the bathroom at school, would you console that crying stranger? Would you offer the person at the sink next to you some chapstick unprovoked? The answer is most likely no. The only community that exists in sober, daylight bathrooms is the short nods when someone says there is a line. Which is exactly why participating in the communal rituals of the club bathroom is so important.
Maybe you’ll meet the love of your life in that club bathroom. Maybe that person you complimented was having a particularly rough week and needed to hear that they were beautiful. Maybe the mirror picture you end up in makes it into someone’s photo dump. Maybe you just go to the club bathroom… only to use the bathroom. And nothing else. Which is fine, but have you ever considered having fun amongst strangers?
Or do you hate community?
As far back in my memory as I’m able to visit, I remember times when I wanted to be an artist. I didn’t know how to or in what capacity; I just knew I was building up into the life of a creative. So, I played around with every form of art I could get my hands on to stretch my imagination to its fullest extent.
Even though I couldn’t hold a tune or memorize a two-step, I wanted to be like the stars I saw on Disney Channel. I wanted to sing, dance, and sit in those fancy chairs that would have my name on the back.
While I never had a talent for drawing, I liked painting. I’ve never understood lines, shapes, or the human form no matter how often I had it broken down into baby steps and explained to me. But that didn’t stop me from taking a couple of years of art in high school just to try it out. Failure was a part of the process, and in that failure, I figured out I liked painting. I wasn’t near the best or even talented. Instead, I found my place in encouraging classmates. That was all right; it made them special, and it inspired a stronger work ethic.
When I was old enough, I was able to try my hand at theater. Again, not my strong suit, but I found joy in trying and failing and in watching those around me succeed and find a place. I also found rapture in knowing there was something else out there. I finally found my place in my Junior-year creative writing class, where I was able to develop my love for writing. While it was not as flashy as the others, it was something, and it was mine. Maybe in another life, I could have been drawn to nursing or have a passion for studying the law. Maybe in that life, math and science could’ve been my crutch, and I could’ve pursued engineering. But in this life I find myself grasping at any art form, just in any way I can prove I exist and express my humanity. These forms of art prove we’re alive, and that showcases how artists can connect to everyone in a way that transcends the art they put forward. It proves we are human.
With the rise of modern technology, I feel as if we’re experiencing technological singularity, not fully aware of how this path will affect artists a few years from now. I remember my first alarm-
ing encounter with AI through “deep fakes” in 2017. I remember it being a news story with people on Reddit making President Obama say what they wanted, and the world collectively seemed to think it was suspiciously scary, yet we moved on and turned a blind eye. I remember when ChatGpt came out hardly a year ago, and now operating as a fulltime writer and full-time threat. It’s even commonplace here on campus, still as an infant. In February this year, Snapchat released a MyAI feature, allowing users to make a “bitmoji” and text a computer like a friend. On Sept. 27, Meta AI unveiled “Billie,” an AI girl just like an older sister who can talk and text anytime, (blinking face in the corner of the screen at all times included) as a feature on Instagram. Not to mention that “Billie” has the rights to
favorite songs now. If you ever thought you wanted to hear Trisha Paytas sing “Despacito,” you’ll be in luck–it’s probably out there. Better yet, you can make it.
“But in this life I fnd myself grasping at any art form, just in any way I can prove I exist and express my humanity.”
Kendall Jenner’s likeness in full, voice included. Oh, but it’s not just “Billie,” there’s also “Bru,” with Tom Brady’s likeness, and “Dungeon Master,” with Snoop Dogg’s likeness. While these people are consenting and being paid millions as compensation, only the future will tell if the money is worth it.
However, despite the people at the top being the ones paid off here, that’s not stopping the technology from being easily accessible to those not willing to cough up the proper payment.
The music industry is seeing a similar issue, with the Universal Music Group suing TikTok creators for creating a song with Drake and The Weekend’s voices, of course, without consent. If you find yourself scrolling through social media long enough, you could find AI-generated versions of album covers, either expanding on the previous cover or creating a whole new fake album. And while you’re at it, you can find an artist of your choice singing any of your
While it all seems to be well and fun for now, it doesn’t seem like a battle we, as artists, will be winning. Traditional artists have been crying for help since the rise of text-to-image sites. The likelihood of artists being commissioned is decreasing, and the percentage of people conning as “artists” has been increasing. It’s already been seen with the long-running voice actress of Daphne in Scooby-Doo, Grey DeLisle, being charged $650 for an AI-generated print of her character, originally meant to be sold to fans after being autographed, but scrapped the image after being alerted that she was scammed. Even if that is the case, it’s just a small corner of the internet. Sure, AI art has yet to breach the mainstream? Of course, it has, as many have pointed out, the usage of AI in the Loki season two poster, but Disney has stayed silent on the matter. But that is to be expected of one of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers companies that were willing to explore AI before the strikes from WGA and SAG this year.
But, of course, things are not that easy. While the writers got a fair deal, many of the actors are still in distress. While all their requests were met, there was one they had to meet in the middle regarding the usage of “digital doubles.” These allow for the studio to change the hair, makeup, and even as far as physical placement in a scene. If a background actor’s “digital double” is given a line or two and earns themself a speaking role, they will be fairly compensated, though they will have none of the experience and none of the reward for having been the one to have done the scene.
When it comes down to it, this usage of AI will be part of a race to be the first to discover the next bigger and better thing. It’s a chase for the immediate satisfaction of being able to say: “It was me; I did it.” As artists, but most importantly as humans, someone has to get hurt in the process. Someone’s worth needs to come into question as we ponder if it is all truly worth it. But who am I to talk? I bet the computer could tell you something more profound. Its feelings won’t be hurt by it, like mine. That’s what makes it better, right?
WRITTEN
BY
AMIRA MUTHALIP
DECEMBER 2023
REFLECTION ISSUE
REVEAL, RESPOND , REFLECT
REVEAL:
In the years 1936 to 1939, the British began its colonialism of Palestine and mass immigration of European Jews. When the Palestinians launched a general strike of withholding tax payments and boycotting against Jewish products, they were brutally repressed by the British who launched arrest campaigns and carried out home demolitions, a practice that Israel continues to implement against Palestinians to this day.
In 1947, the Israel state was established through the Partition Plan, adopted by the United Nations. In the process of dividing the land of Palestine into Jewish and Arab states, 750,000 Palestinian natives were displaced and forced to relocate to
other regions and even neighboring countries never able to return to their home soil again. This ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian people is known as Nakba, catastrophe. The years following Nakba led to an increase of Jewish settlers, reducing Palestinian land to the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, both under Israeli military occupation. For years to come, Palestinians fought back the Israelis in movements known as the Intifada, the Palestinian uprising.
When looking at Palestinian resistance versus Israeli constant attacks, I think a clear nefariousness is seen from the Israelis as they continue to assert their dominance on land that they have no right over. To this day, Israel continues to launch military
assaults on Palestinian people, yet it is only when Hamas, a political group from Palestine, retaliates strongly enough, that the whole world finally opens its eyes to see the catastrophes of Israel’s unethical occupation of Palestinian, more commonly depicted as the Israel-Palestine “conflict”.
RESPOND:
No one can condemn any side for taking away the innocent lives of children, men, women, hospital workers, etc. however, the reason and extent to which each of them is going should be observed. After the Hamas attack, the retaliation from Israel has been non-stop under the guise of “defending”
themselves. Food, electricity, and fuel cuts, demolishing of hospitals and homes through airstrikes, and forceful evacuation of the people are all attacks of the Israeli government on the Palestinians. Big media companies in the West tend to air news from Israeli land, disconnecting the world from seeing the suffrage of the Palestinian people. Millions of people across the world gather in protests and rallies to speak out against the injustice on the Palestinians, as well as on the hypocritical governments who support and fund the genocide of a population. Participating in protests, rallies, boycotts, etc. are all routes to raising awareness of the silenced voices of the Palestinian people and making humanity open its eyes, ears, and arms to each other.
A university student expresses where she gets the strength to talk about the Palestinian people. She says, “The Palestinian people itself inspire and motivate me to have faith and be selfless. Hearing them proclaim their trust in God reminds me to stay persistent in my prayers and increase my voice in protests and rallies!”.
REFLECT:
This is not just a fight for Palestinians around the world, rather it’s one for Muslims who see their brothers’ and sisters’ steadfast faith despite facing the biggest hardships. It’s for the Arabs who watch
their neighboring nation in shambles and flames, Americans who witness their government funding such wickedness, and humanity whose eyes cant bear to see anymore of the pain and torture of the people of Palestine. Trauma from occupation and displacement has been the reality of the Palestinians for years now, and speaking out for them should not feel like a burden.
We must learn from the selfless, brave, and true doctors, nurses, journalists in Palestine, to put humanity first, resisting and sacrificing the comfort of our lives for someone else’s. Matters like these don’t only take place in the Middle East; the results of poverty, inequality, and war are faced all around the world, and each of them deserves a voice. While it is rewarding to see a change for one cause, we mustn’t forget about all the others. We must view each of these causes as our own and continue to ignite the fires in our hearts to demand for every child, mother, father, and individual to live a life they deserve.
“Matters like these don’t only take place in the Middle East; the results of poverty, inequality, and war are faced all around the world, and each of them deserves a voice.”
▼ CSULB STUDENTS RALLY IN SUPPORT OF
PHOTO PROVIDED BY 22 WEST MEDIA
STARLETS VS THE STUDIO
WRITTEN BY GRACE MORCOS-HILL ILLUSTRATION BY JO LIN
MARCH 2024 WOMEN’S ISSUE
The Golden Age of Hollywood is considered to be the time period when the five production companies ruled the land of film and ran the entertainment industry like a machine, creating the Studio System. From Paramount, MGM, 20th Century Fox, Warner Bros, to RKO, each held the great power of vertical integration, allowing them to control every aspect of their films from the creation to the projection of them. Each studio had their own crews, contract players, and directors, who were all contractually obligated to only work for that studio and no one else, unless loaned out. It brought about some notable movies that are still iconic today and even created starlets like Judy Garland, Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Rita Hayworth, and many others. With the glitz and glamor of Hollywoodland and the studio system, audiences were blinded to the darkness that lurked behind the scenes where many actresses fell victim to abuse.
With the use of strict contracts that lasted seven years, studios were able to control their female actors in the films they starred in, their physical and moral image, and their entire lives.
The studio system relied heavily on audiences seeing studios in a good light. During this time more than ever, the control of their actresses was crucial in order to keep up appearances. Throughout the history of the studio system, America went through a few economic hardships caused by events such as the Great Depression and World War II. Surprisingly, movie theater attendance skyrocketed during these challenging periods. Audiences began to flock to the silver screen to escape from their dreary lives for an hour or two. They would go see their favorite stars and starlets live the lives they could only dream of having. This is why stars were so important to the studio system’s survival: they were the ones who brought the audience to the theaters. Studio-heads needed their actresses to be seen as moral, clean, and beautiful in order for the public to keep seeing their movies. To make sure these standards were met, studio-heads ensured that actresses were watched and managed in all aspects. Many of them were not allowed to date or marry the people they wanted to. In order to create more press for movies, studio-heads often forced their female actors to date other contracted members of the studio, whether co-stars or crew members, most of these arrangements advanced to marriage. This control didn’t just stop in starlets’ love life, but the studio’s took away the actresses’ rights to the autonomy of their bodies. In Gerald Clarke’s book “Get Happy: The Life of Judy Garland,” he writes: “Despite all the eyes fastened on her [Judy Garland], she still managed to escape Will Wright’s and to find her hiding places in her studio dressing room for cookies, chocolates and candies. In desperation the studio finally brought out a new weapon…Metro added diet pills.” Judy Garland was only a teenager at this time and had already been put on multiple pills such as uppers and downers in order for her to keep up with her heavy work schedule. With the addition of the diet pills, Garland was able to lose weight at the cost of both her mental and physical health, all in the name of the studio trying to make viewers happy. Many actresses at the time were also forced to receive abortions if they became pregnant out of wedlock, were having an affair, or if it were going to affect the
filming of their next project. Some names include Judy Garland, Bette Davis, and Lana Turner. These women could either keep their jobs or keep their unborn babies. For financial reasons, they ultimately decided to keep their jobs, their free will completely taken away from them.
Another issue that actresses faced during the studio system was typecasting and aging out of roles. Typecasting brought about issues of how actresses lived their lives and how they were treated. Jean Harlow, for example, had in her contract that she was not allowed to get married. MGM feared that if Harlow were to get married it would tarnish the sex symbol that she was seen as in films. The studio only finally allowed Harlow to
“Studio- heads needed their actresses to be seen as moral, clean, and beautiful in order for the public to keep seeing their movies.”
marry when it was to an MGM camera man. Type Casting also led to many women getting stuck in roles they couldn’t refuse. Joan Crawford was seen as the dazzling leading lady, Judy Garland and Shirley Temple were seen as the innocent childlike characters, and women like Mae West and Jean Harlow were shown as the harlots and “easy” women. Once you were seen as something it was hard to escape from that. All your roles would be essentially the same, and if they wanted to try different characters they were met with a no. As natural as aging is, it was something that worked against actresses during that time. If the studio felt that a woman had outgrown the role of being the love interest in films, they would replace her with someone half her age. This would often lead to female actors getting less and less roles, while their male counterparts were able to continue playing the leading man and love interest well into their 60s. This was an unfair
double standard that created tension between stars. Women who had given their lives to the studio system and had undergone so much exploitation and abuse felt like they were being thrown away and replaced with someone new and shiny. This cycle never truly ended, and we unfortunately still see female ageism in current pop culture.
Once you were signed with a studio, you weren’t allowed to leave that contract until it was over. With these contracts, a lot of young women were exploited by executives. In E.J. Fleming’s book he writes: “Thousands of beautiful women flocked to Hollywood to get into the movies. Many were put under contract… The option girls were often used for the benefit of management or their friends, a problem so well known that agents first had to represent the women as 18 so there wouldn’t be any statutory rape problems.” Most young women at the time were tempted with the promise of stardom to have a chance to be the next Loreta Young or May West, and executives took advantage of that to prey on young women. It also wasn’t only young unknown women who were prayed upon using the studio system, notable actresses like Judy Garland, Shirley Temple, and Ava Gardner were also victims of this system. Studios at this time “owned” their actresses, and they feared that saying “no” would cost them roles in successful movies. When actresses tried to stick up for themselves, they were made out to look like the villains. When Judy Garland finally decided to stand up to Louis B. Mayer, the head of MGM, by telling him to stop touching her breasts, he began to cry, and she ended up consoling him, creating a vicious never ending cycle of abuse. With the power that the studio system gave executives through the use of contracts, many women were forced into situations that they had to endure or else they would’ve been blacklisted, leading to even more abuse.
The studio system is usually associated with the Golden Age of Hollywood and most of us today look back on the movies produced during this time with technicolor glasses and nostalgia. The studio system also created an influx of money, allowing for new technology like sound and color to be created, evolving the film industry like never before. With the good that the studio system brought to the film industry, the dark that loomed behind the scenes for actresses of the time is something that can never be forgiven or forgotten.
WHY YOU HATE YOUNG GIRLS AND WHY IT’S
NOT
THEIR FAULT
Sometimes I wake up like twenty minutes before my alarm. I’m too awake to go back to sleep, but too tired to get ready. With not much to do but kill time, I’ll open up TikTok on my phone. Every once in a while I’ll find a funny edit or cat video to send to my friends. Maybe a sketchbook tour that gets me wanting to draw more. TikTok usually delivers some mediocre laughs, annoying ads, or horrifying peeks into the deepest chasms of internet anger and what it spells for our future too.
I’m so over hearing adults talk about how young girls are ruining makeup stores. If you don’t know (lucky you), there’s been a big discourse with TikTok users sharing how they can’t go into makeup and beauty stores like Sephora and Ulta because there are girls, anywhere from seven to fifteen, rampaging about. They’re using up the samples. They’re using their mom’s credit card to buy Fenty lip glosses. Someone sound the alarms! There are teenage girls buying makeup!
In response to this, there were a lot of staff from these kinds of beauty stores confirming on TikTok suspicions of the siege on Sephoras. This is going in tune with the continuing discourse on how Gen Alpha is the worst, and they’re all iPad kids that have stunted socialization from quarantine.
These kinds of rabbit holes usually just make me turn off my phone. I need to see the sun. I need to talk to a real-life person. It’s exhausting to see how many people hate young girls. There is always something: Teenage girls are obsessed with Twilight, girls are obsessed with One Direction, girls are obsessed with The Beatles… Girls ruin culture! That’s what it sounds like to me. Simply, it is so easy to hate on young girls, because they are the hyper-feminine, seemingly powerless punching-bags for culture.
Why are girls invading the MAC counter? Well, some of you might have been a young girl once. What did you do for fun? You went to school, you went home, and you went to your after school activities. Sure, but where would you and your friends go for fun? The mall? Where in the mall? Claire’s, Justice, Limited Too, Libby Lu, Bath and Body
Works, Aeropostale, Hot Topic. All 2000s mall classics. Are all of those still in your local mall? If they are, do the products in the store still cater appropriately to children? Likely no.
There’s this idea of a “third space” in society. You have home and work, but the third space is somewhere in the community where you can socialize with friends and strangers, which is becoming less common as we all tend to spend more time in the first two spaces. There is this loss of “third spaces” for everyone, but especially children. Especially since quarantine. A kid only really has home and school. There are less and less safe spaces for kids to be social and explore their identities. It used to be way more common to see the neighborhood kids playing in the street or at the park. It’s a space outside of family and school where they problem solve, communicate, and build experiences with
“This is my big ask: show kindness to young girls.”
friends. Arguably, the new third space is the internet. Which is potentially the worst possible third place. Sure they might be following their friends from school, but they’re not building new relationships or experiences. They are instead mostly watching influencers and YouTubers that might not even be catering to kids (that’s not to say that “kids content” on the internet is good either).
Tweens also don’t really exist anymore. 12-yearold me had American Girl magazines, Girl Scouts, AYSO, and Disney Channel to model those adolescent years off of. Now, algorithms on TikTok push kids to watch slime videos and beauty gurus explaining their 10-step skin care process. Tweens are becoming obsolete as you get more kids wanting to follow what adult influencers are doing. Social Media is putting middle schoolers on the fast track to adulthood, and that’s partially us adults’ fault.
Look, I get it. I worked with kids for three summers at a day camp. Starting in Summer 2021.
I’ve seen those kids get pushed out of quarantine and online school into “the new normal.” They didn’t know how to socialize. They couldn’t share. They couldn’t spell their names. They cried for hours after their parents dropped them off. If we as adults are deeply affected by quarantine, they are even worse off. My coworkers and I were suddenly tasked with filling in for the lost time. I was dealing with the iPad raised Gen Alpha kids that everyone is terrified and annoyed with.
It’s easy to blame the parents–which they do bare the brunt of how they’ve raised their kid. However, and this may be difficult to hear, but it’s on us too. As a child is in development, they look to the world to learn how to be. You want to ask why kids aren’t reading? Why aren’t we? Why are little girls buying anti-aging cream? Why are we so obsessed with aging? I know we like to think that if you don’t have children in your life, you live in a completely separate sphere, but that is not true.
My solution is going to be asking something from you, but I think it will do good. Those Gen Alpha campers I worked with got better. Each summer I came back, the kids were doing better. Less breakdowns, less crying. More friendships, more teamwork, and more independent problem-solving. Simply through having real, in-person, screen-free, interactions with kids and adults. It’s hard work, but straight-forward. And the reward is so great. To see young girls be able to play, share, work together, have conflict and solve it is so uplifting.
This is my big ask: show kindness to young girls. To all kids. To teens. To people just five years younger than you. Try to understand them. Reimagine what life was like for you then. While you’re at it, show kindness to pure strangers of all ages. Give up your seat on the bus, help someone picking up trash, hold the door open. It’s so easy to think about yourself, but it only takes a little bit more effort to think of others as well.
And for those that have younger sisters, cousins, nieces, or daughters of your own: please spend time with them and give them the support and lessons they may be missing. Even if that means an age-appropriate, play-makeup kit.
WRITTEN BY
BY
CAROLINE SMITH
ILLUSTRATION
MADISON HOIBY
WRITTEN BY
ILLUSTRATION BY SERENA
APRIL 2024
ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUE
DARYA JAFARINEJAD
LOGAN
A MOTHER’S LOVE
I had a nightmare last night.
I saw my mother
Swathed in an astonishing dress of cerulean blue, forest green, and mahogany.
She was alive,
With all the grace and beauty of a thousand doves flying all at once.
Tired, she laid down to rest.
As she lay, colonies of ladybugs, caterpillars, fireflies, and more nested upon her.
She loved them dearly,
Providing them the flesh of her body for nourishment.
But the insects,
They were so Hungry.
So, so Hungry.
I saw my mother dissected,
Her organs on full display.
Rivers of blood ran down what remained of her torso.
Her wild, luscious hair had been shaved off.
Her bones now strong as glass under the machines drilling into her.
What they wanted took a thousand names.
With each titular transformation, so too they evolved their methods of torture.
Oh, how they ripped open her skin;
How they slashed through her bones and organs,
Burying themselves inside;
How they captured her blood to power their wasteful lives;
How they chopped down thousands of acres of her hair.
They extracted every last inch of her beauty—
Of her essence—
And consumed it ravenously.
It seemed no matter how much she surrendered,
Or how much they robbed, It was never enough.
The less of her there was to abuse,
The more those insects turned on themselves.
They waged wars, manufacturing battlefields on the paradise of her body, Corrupting Eden with the venom of conquerors.
Where once she was an endless garden,
All that remained were valleys of rot and decay.
I miss the aromas of innocence and endearment—of youth and beauty.
My nose is deteriorating from the stench of Blood and disease.
My skin peels off the closer I approach her radioactive aura.
Poor Mother.
How could she have known
When those insects emerged from their chrysalis, It was not butterflies that sprung, But parasites?
Millions and millions of Parasites.
They slaughtered her in broad daylight, Announcing they have tamed the untameable; The wild woman who needed to be domesticated.
They have not just murdered her; Next to her tomb, their future is also buried.
She was alive.
Once upon a time, that is.
She is a myth now.
A bedtime story told to children in gas masks.
Goodnight Mother.
I hope your dreams are as sweet as the fruits you once bore.
You will never wake again from your dreams, And I fear I will never wake from this nightmare.
MORE
ABOUT THE FOREST AND LESS ABOUT THE WEBSITE, PLEASE
THE AMAZON
WRITTEN BY ALANA LOINAZ ILLUSTRATION
APRIL 2024
Do you breathe? So does the Earth. The lungs of every living being are either located in or traced back to the Amazon. The rainforest is a vast and biodiverse ecosystem across nine countries: Brazil – home to more than 60% of the Amazon –, Peru, Colombia, Venezuela, Ecuador, Bolivia, Guyana, Suriname, and French Guiana – sharing the other 40%.
You’ve heard of it, haven’t you? You definitely know the importance of the Amazon in your life right now. You are aware of what humanity is doing to your lungs, your future children’s lungs, your grandkids’ lungs, and possibly your great-grandchildren’s lungs – if we even get that far. You are aware of the issues surrounding the Amazon forest, I know you are. You definitely know what is going
on there as we speak. Or am I being too naive? Is it bad to assume everyone should know about what’s keeping them alive? I don’t think the American educational system would have left any environmental issues behind, would it? I would hate to believe that we all grew up in a society that does not give a shit about whatever is green unless it is a mint-flavored vape.
I am soooooo guilty. Guilty for not paying enough attention, guilty for succumbing to whatever capitalism puts in front of my eyes, guilty for not reading
"It is affecting you directly. You just don’t see it quite yet."
enough, not writing enough, not breathing enough pure air. I feel guilty for living. Living in a world where gray is green, alcohol is water, smoke is air, discrimination is a regular Monday, and corruption is law. In a test, mark “all of the above” if they ask how many
of the previous issues impact the Amazon forest. A healthy human’s lungs should be no lower than 94% for oxygen levels. We can’t lose more than 6% ourselves, but we are letting the Amazon breathe with a lot less. Approximately 20% of the rainforest has been destroyed and another 6% highly degraded. All of this has happened within the last 50 years. It is naive to think we are stopping here, but also naive to think we can keep going like that if we still want to see humanity exist after you and I are dust.
“Wow, Alana, no surprises here. We all know there’s deforestation happening.” We all for sure do, but we choose to ignore it. We don’t pressure the government to do anything about it; we just sit on our asses all day and shake our heads in disbelief. We vaguely know how harmful deforestation is, but we still choose to be ignorant because it’s easier. Hey, I get it. It’s easier to say you don’t know than to admit you do but don’t give a shit. After all, it’s not affecting you directly, right? Wrong. It is affecting you directly. You just don’t see it quite yet. We ALL depend on the Amazon not just for food, water, wood, and medicines, but
to help stabilize the climate as 150-200 billion tons of carbon are stored in the Amazon rainforest. However, we do not SEE the benefits of the rainforest. We know about them, but our brains have a hard time caring since we don’t visualize them. It is nothing we can touch or witness. By “we,” I mean Americans. I am not from the U.S., so I have been seeing it happening to people in my country a lot more than I do here. I have been noticing how the media does not seem to care as much since the rainforest is not geographically in North America. Brazil, however, is 62% Brazil and 38% Amazon. That means 38% of MY homeland is being abused. How am I supposed to sit here and not tell you about it?
I am assuming you, patriotic Americans, will understand what loving your country means. So, please, hear me out for just 365 more words.
Native Brazilians are dying. D-Y-I-N-G. They live in the lungs of the Earth yet they stop breathing. Actually, let me rephrase it. They are not dying, they are being murdered. M-U-R-D-E-R-E-D. Illegal mining keeps happening in native territory, contributing to a humanity crisis indigenous people
are dealing with. The Yanomami people have lost 122 of their own in less than four months last year. To address the lack of health care for indigenous people, a public health emergency was declared. Since then, emergency care has been provided
“Living in a world where gray is green, alcohol is water, smoke is air, discrimination is a regular Monday, and corruption is law.”
in native communities. However, this is not nearly enough. Treating the consequences does not change the cause. We will hear of more and more tragedies, and that does not even include the ones that are being kept a secret. I would put money on the table that what the media shows us about the
Amazon does not even begin to cover the absurdities that fully happen there. So, what now?
I am a great believer in the power of collectivism. You come second; I come second; WE come first. I don’t have a solution for us right now. No one does. No Brazilian party, no president, no protest, no activist, no one. I do, however, believe we need to change our blind love for consumption – I am 100% including myself on this. Again, I am soooo guilty. Most of us are. You might be great at being an activist and advocating for things you believe in, but I am not that good at it yet. For now, I will keep doing what my immigrant self can do: write, spread information, research, study, film, and try to create an impact on this fucked up system. Nothing will stop me from blaming capitalism for hurting 38% of my country. We all know it and we need to understand some compromises need to be made. We need to look at our own arrogance and stop defending a system so blindly that we can’t even look at what is doing to us and to our loved ones. Our generation is responsible for fixing what the previous ones did if we want the next one to exist.
MAY 2024 MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE
COMIC BY LESLIE VILLAMIL
WRITTEN BY ANGEL NUNEZ-PABICO
ILLUSTRATION BY ALANA YU
MAY 2024
MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE
MULTIPLES OF THREE
Iflick the light switch three times, turning it off, then on, then off again. This is what I have to do every time I have to turn the light on or off. I go to watch TV, turn the volume up. It’s at 14. I cringe and turn it up to 18—not too loud and it’s a multiple of three. I’m asked to get bread, so I go outside and lock the door, pulling the door once, twice, thrice, before going about my day.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or more commonly known as OCD, is a disorder that can last for years or be lifelong. It usually presents itself late in your childhood or early into your adulthood. Many people have obsessions, compulsions, or both.
Unwanted thoughts flood my head, and I can’t stop them. They’re loud, violent, and of grotesque nature. I slam my head into the pillow in an attempt to quiet them. I play loud music. I read a book. Nothing seems to help it.
Obsessions can range from fears of germs, intrusive thoughts, or aggression directed at others or oneself. Compulsions can be excessive checking (having to check three times if the door is locked, having to check if the garage is closed, etc.), eating foods in a certain pattern (eating trail mix by consuming the peanuts and cashews first, then the almonds, then the peanut candies, then the chocolate candies, etc.), or excessively counting actions you do (making sure the volume on a device is at a certain number, flipping on a light switch a certain amount of times to turn it on/off, making sure there is a certain number of examples used to describe something, etc.). However, it’s important to note that not every habit is a compulsion, and not every reoccurring thought is an obsession.
I take the last bite of rice, my stomach already full
from the carrots and broccoli. I’m saving the salmon for last—not because I want to—but because I have to or else my house will explode. I go to take a bite, and before it reaches my mouth, I realize that I’m full.
Even though some people with OCD know that their obsessions or compulsions are irrational, they usually cannot control it. Although they may feel a temporary relief from their anxieties when doing compulsions, they don’t enjoy doing so. Their obsessions or compulsions may take up a part of their day,
“I’m saving the salmon for last— not because I want to—but because I have to or else my house will explode.”
and they commonly experience significant problems in their daily lives due to their intrusive thoughts, compulsions, or obsessions.
I strategically place my pens in the box so that each metal pin on the pen caps touch each other. I’ve been doing this since I was old enough to collect pens, because if I don’t do this, my mom will die. This is totally logical, right?
Children with OCD might think that everybody has these thoughts and behaviors and will fear the worst if they do not perform compulsions. Luckily, most adults recognize these behaviors, which allows for
those with OCD to get help. If untreated, however, OCD can affect the child’s daily life.
I hide under my blanket until the clock strikes 4:00 a.m. because there’s ghosts flying in my room for the whole third hour. It’s hot and it suffocates me, and I can barely breathe, but it keeps me safe. I wonder why I haven’t fallen asleep yet.
Many adults with OCD acknowledge that their thoughts and behaviors don’t necessarily make sense. While there is no cure for OCD, there are several treatments for it, such as psychotherapy (exposure therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy) and medications. As a student at California State University, Long Beach, there are resources like CAPS and Student Health Services.
My therapist told me to ignore these thoughts, compulsions, and obsessions. It’s only been an hour since I’ve woken up, and I turned on the light by pressing the switch once. I ate the chocolate first in my trail mix. I drown out the loud thoughts in my head with even louder music. I ate the protein with the grains. Every fiber in my body is telling me that I’m going to explode and everything I know will explode; I will have nothing. I ignore it.
I go about my day. Checking if the door is locked once. An itching feeling tells me that the oven is on, so I go to check it. After that, I leave it as is. I hold conversations. I mess up my pens. I read a book and stop on page 152, because 152 isn’t a multiple of three. It’s a terrible feeling, really, but I hope it only gets easier.
Turning off the light by pressing the switch once, I pull the blanket over me and go to bed.
