22 West Magazine- 2023 Reflection Issue

Issue 89.07 · December 4, 2023 · 22westmedia.com

REFLECTION ISSUE

22 WEST MAGAZINE CULTURE

In association with

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REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07

MAGAZINE STAFF Jensen Puckett, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@22westmedia.com Sofia Carlos, Managing Editor managingeditor@22westmedia.com Alana Loinaz, Lead Copy Editor copyeditor@22westmedia.com

LETTER FROM AN EDITOR

Caroline Bae, Art Director artdirector@22westmedia.com Panhavatey Bun, Advertising and Sales Manager advertisingmanager@22westmedia.com

Jude Sampson, Distribution Manager distributionmanager@22westmedia.com

COVER DESIGN Tricia Vu, Illustrator triciavu.weebly.com

W

e did it. We’ve finally reached the final stretch

of the fall semester, woohoo!!

It’s pretty crazy how quickly this semester has gone by.

It seems like I was just starting the school year with the

VOLUNTEER MEETINGS

beginning of semester tradition of getting to school over

Contact editorinchief@22westmedia. com or check our bio @22westlb on Instagram

only are we nearing the end of the semester but also the

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an hour early in a quest to fight for a parking spot. Not end of the year, which is even more insane to process.

Time really does fly when you’re busy doing a speed run of assignments and projects, otherwise known as the last two weeks of the semester. In my last letter from an editor in the Grunion issue, I joked about the passage of time, so in a way writing this as we reach the end of the academic

Disclaimer and Publication Information: 22 West Magazine is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the magazine, ASI nor LBSU. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the staff.

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Please include name and major for all submissions.

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year feels oddly full circle.

With all this talk about time, you could say I’m feeling a little reflective these days… which is the theme of this issue: reflection! For this issue we thought it would be cool to have people interpret the theme of reflection in their own way and choose what they want to reflect on.

We have so many talented writers and artists who have contributed, so please take a minute to look through this issue.

SOFIA CARLOS MANAGING EDITOR

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THE MAGAZINE

TEAM

22 WEST MAGAZINE

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

MANAGING EDITOR

LEAD COPY EDITOR

ART DIRECTOR

ADVERTISING AND SALES MANAGER

DISTRIBUTION MANAGER

JENSEN PUCKETT

ALANA LOINAZ

PANHAVATEY BUN 4

SOFIA CARLOS

CAROLINE BAE

JUDE SAMPSON

REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07

CONTRIBUTORS Alberto Juarez, Writer Amira Muthalip, Writer Chad Dupre, Writer Darya Jafarinejad, Writer Eric Ceja Ruiz, Writer Fia Franz-Knight, Writer Huy Tran, Writer Isabella Siqueira, Writer Jessica Sutter, Writer Jessica Wells, Writer Madelynn Dodds, Writer Sarah Williams, Writer

Abihail Ortega, Artist Allison Rafters, Artist Annilee Russell, Artist Danica Mendiola, Artist Gerricka Dacpano, Artist Jasmine Tabobo, Artist Krizzha Dee, Artist Kylie Casebeer, Artist Leyna Nguyen, Artist Nadia Gonzalez, Artist Serena Logan, Artist

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22 WEST MAGAZINE CULTURE

WRITTEN BY SARAH WILLIAMS ILLUSTRATION BY DANICA MENDIOLA

“The dramas of life end up being funny as you grow up and that’s what makes it comedic.”

2023 Is the Year of

Comedy Films

Barbie #1 in comedy via Letterboxd phases of life. The play revolves around an unknown

casted. A movie showcasing loser girls who do the

Barbie is arguably the most iconic movie release of

alien who ends up causing a catastrophe that even

absolute most to flirt instead of just talking? Sign

2023. Not only was the movie highly anticipated,

the actors don’t understand. Sarcastic dialogue and

me up.

but its humor has entertained all ages, which is a

awkward silence is what makes this movie humor-

difficult thing to achieve. The movie was directed

ous. The teenage Junior Stargazer prodigies recit-

Theater Camp

by actress Greta Gerwig, who also produced the

ing intricate topics forwards and backwards. Augie

#17 in comedy via Letterboxd

films Lady Bird (2017) and Little Women (2019).

Steenbeck’s daughters innocent one-liners. The

Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling star as Barbie and

dramas of life end up being funny as you grow up

Theater Camp, directed by Nick Lieberman and

Ken, and the movie is full of comedic irony. Barbie

and that’s what makes it comedic.

Molly Gordon, shows the charm and frustrations

subtly disses on men (Ken), while also making Ken’s

of being a part of a summer theater camp. Gordon,

character hilarious. The series Barbie Life in the

Bottoms

who has supporting roles in Booksmart (2019),

Dreamhouse had Ken as the token himbo, which

#4 in comedy via Letterboxd

and Shiva Baby (2020) had her directorial debut.

was translated in Gerwig’s movie. Traumatic humor

6

Theater Camp humor includes throat coat tea, arti-

and the comedic effect oblivion has are the major

Bottoms is the raunchy comedy young queer

ficial tears, gayety, and stress. The movie was able

factors in this film.

people were waiting for. Starring Ayo Edebiri and

to effortlessly execute the excitement and tension

Rachel Sennott, this whole movie is stacked with

of the theater experience. It’s an ideal picture of

Asteroid City

humor. Two lesbians (Edebiri and Sennott) form

“childhood passion” as one said in a review on

#3 in comedy via Letterboxd

a high school fight club in order to hook up with

Letterboxd. Big personalities from people hanging

their popular girl crushes. Up and coming direc-

by a thread, typically labeled as annoying. Theater

Wes Anderson, known for his saturated color

tor Emma Seligman and star Sennott co-wrote

kids always put on an unforgettable show, which

palettes, released the film Asteroid City in June,

this film together. It spoofs on popular 90s and

is not forgotten about in the ending number of

along with four short films in late September. Aster-

2000s comedies including Fight Club (1999), Bring

the film.

oid City is about a sci-fi themed 1950s play. This

It On (2000), and Scott Pilgrim Against The World

movie is somehow able to present both emotional

(2010). Finally a heartwarming, comedic film of our

value and lighthearted innocence of different

generation. Bottoms is stupid, iconic, and well-

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22 WEST MAGAZINE CULTURE

F

8

ashion trends have always been defined by

fashion trends. Balletcore, inspired by its name’s

prevailing cultural interests at the time; in

sake of the centuries old dance form, includes all

2023, pop culture was focused on combin-

aspects of the ballet aesthetic: flats, bows, dainty

ing aspects of real life. Those on the forefront of

pinks and whites, leg warmers, simple off the

fashion created outfits out of ordinary objects

shoulder knit sweaters and leotards. A freshman

found in the home, such as ribbons and old sports

student boils down this feminine style to the basics

jerseys. From these combinations of ordinary mate-

saying, “I love the bows, I love all of it” (Hallmon).

rial culture with fashion, two new aesthetics were

Another indicates they appreciate the “dainty,

born: Balletcore and Bloke Core. These two trends

very ultra-feminine aesthetic”(Bagswell). Another

combine inspiration from real-life professions of

student, sophomore Catherine Del Castillo says,

ballet and soccer, and make these high fashion

“[Balletcore] is a feminine way to merge workout

styles accessible to everyday people. Students at

clothes with everyday clothes.” The style combines

LBSU shared their opinions about these two trends.

comfortable ensembles with a chic aesthetic, with

It seems that while these styles tend to stay

another student saying that it “reminds me of

more relevant on the internet and less seen in

Europe, very European style.” European aesthetics

person, they don’t go unnoticed. “It’s interesting

within fashion tend to be seen as more chic and

that people are exploring different styles than what

more classical. Balletcore, after all, is very European

is usually mainstream, untraditional styles” (Kier-

at its roots.

nan Smith). While trends and even microtrends are

This is not the first time that we have seen the

seemingly mostly online, they seep into streetwear

emergence of a fashion aesthetic with details

helping individuals express their style and explore

paying homage to ballet in the 90’s. Some appre-

their personal tastes within fashion.

ciate this cyclical nature of trend cycles: “I like that

“Bloke Core ‘’ is an aesthetic born from an inter-

it’s reoccurring. I think it was at one point popular-

est in soccer and its cross-section with high fashion.

ized by Natalie Portman,” when she starred in the

Brought about by collaborations between Adidas

2010 film Black Swan (Catherine Del Castillo).

and Prada, Gucci, and Balenciaga, many fashionis-

While Bloke Core and Balletcore were the most

tas became interested in this look, which consists

notable trends of this past year, there have been

of a sports jersey, a casual, almost baggy fit jean,

many others, so many in fact that it can be hard

worn with the most popular shoe of the year, the

to keep up. Many have seen trends come and go

Adidas sambas. Many students at LBSU say that

on social media without spotting any of the styles

they are unaware of the “funny name” (Matthias

in person. “Seen a lot on social media, not a lot in

Gomez) dubbed Bloke Core but describe seeing the

person” (Smith). While 2023 has seen styles rang-

aesthetic frequently and reporting that it seems

ing from the continued resurgence of Y2K to an

“pretty cool to rep a sports team jersey” (Gomez).

uptick in the popularity of wearing over-the-ear

Others say that the style creates a “spring-like’’

headphones, students note that thrifting is becom-

(Bailei Hallmon) or even “European Summer” (Tess

ing more popular. Students at LBSU are looking for

Bagwell) feeling. Students describe the trend as

original pieces to add a sense of personal style to

colorful and refreshing to see more people experi-

their wardrobe, and do so in a way that lessens the

ment with style.

environmental impact of the fashion industry. So

While Bloke Core focuses on a male-dominated

consider thrifting as a great way to participate in

profession, Balletcore focuses on the opposite,

this past year’s trends, or even hone in on creating

ringing more feminine inspiration into mainstream

your own unique style.

“While trends... are seemingly mostly online, they seep into streetwear helping individuals express their style and explore their personal tastes within fashion.”

2023 TREND REFLECTION

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ette BLOK CORE

WRITTEN BY FIA FRANZ-KNIGHT ILLUSTRATION BY KYLIE CASEBEER

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They need to run away, but they don’t know where to.

The Mirrors are everywhere.

Thousands of Mirrors line the walls,

ILLUSTRATION BY KRIZZHA DEE

The ceiling, Even the floor is one immense, never-ending Mirror.

The floor is a see-through Mirror, Revealing turbulent ocean waves of mirrors below.

And Opal fears one small erroneous step will shatter the glass construction they tremble on, That they will fall down below and drown in that furious sea of mirrors.

Falling

Falling

Falling

Failing

Failing

Falling

Falling

Failing

Failing

Failing

Is what the mirrors around Opal say.

If Opal falls, they will have to swim their way out, or be lost forever.

But Opal never learned how to swim.

How does Opal run away without breaking the glass floor?

If Opal stays, they have to listen to the Mirrors.

The Mirrors whisper, moan, cry, howl, bawl, shriek, whoop, squawk— A cacophony of tormenting voices battling for dominance in his perfidious hall.

Did you feed the dog yet?

Why haven’t you started your essays yet???

You’re going to fail your classes

Why did you say that??? You’re so embarrassing!!!

Don’t act like that! Change—quick, quick!!

You’re slacking, get to work

Did you screw this up?

So, sooo many things to do right now. Why are you not doing them???

There’s not enough time in the world—yet there’s too much time in the world!!

Why did they say that? Are they acting differently?

Just do it, just work, it’s not that hard, you’re overreacting

Bills bills bills!!!

Everything is hopeless You need more caffeine. You want it to comfort you, but it electrifies you.

The coffee cup is another mirror—you’ll see your face in it.

Does your hair look better like this or like that?

What does everyone else think?

When is enough enough?

What a weird word—enough. Looks weird, doesn’t it?

The Mirrors encircle Opal, ravenous lions preying on a hamster.

They distort and straighten and distort again and Opal questions if it’s their imagination or if it’s Real, Wonders how we separate our imagination from our reality, Or if they are one and the same.

The bejeweled mirrors magnify the Mirrors’ voices, beautifully enchanting tempters Luring Opal, begging them to come closer.

When the fractured Mirrors project haunting reflections of past lives, When they play the memories others forgot like a repulsive film, Opal questions why these memories are entangled in these glass webs, But not the webs of those who forgot.

The burden of memory becomes too much for Opal.

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WRITTEN BY DARYA JAFARINEJAD

Opal is trapped in a Hall of Mirrors.

SRORRIM FO LLAH

HALL OF MIRRORS

22 WEST MAGAZINE CREATIVE

Opal sprints away.

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Opal runs and runs and runs and runs

and runs and runs

and runs and runs

and

runs

and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs

and

and runs

runs and runs

and runs and runs and

runs

and runs and runs and

runs.

Opal runs past the graveyard of past relationships, Where the tombstones are constructed of Mirrors, Reflecting alternate realities where the relationships survived.

What could you have done differently?

The ghosts lean on their glass tombstones and sigh, staring at Opal as they run by.

The names Opal has tried to hard to scrawl out Are only more boldly engraved on the Mirror frames.

Opal finally approaches an oasis.

A paradise to dive into and drown out these voices, these reflections.

But even the lake is clear, And forces Opal to stare at their own reflection, To hear those voices.

So Opal continues running.

Until they see the windows.

Opal races to the windows, seeking refuge in the beautiful distraction of the outside world.

But the windows are more Mirrors And all Opal sees is not joyous nature, but their own reflection frowning back at them.

They cannot see whatever happiness is outside this Hall of Mirrors because all they see are Reflections.

Opal lays down, covers their head with their hands, and closes their eyes, Hoping the darkness will be their salvation.

But the Mirrors are alarm clocks, shrieks in the peaceful dark.

When Opal closes their eyes to try and sleep, the alarms scream, Reminding them of that one small, painful incident ten years ago that everyone else forgot.

Everyone but Opal.

Sleep is an unaffordable luxury, the new Ferrari and caviar.

An earthquake roars in the Hall.

The mirrors shatter, and in so doing, Multiply.

The Mirrors are louder than ever.

It’s too loud to hear anything, Because Opal hears everything.

In the avalanche of glass, Opal is surrounded by thousands of versions of themself staring at them.

Gazing at their desolate, infuriated reflections, Opal wonders: Am I made up of nothing more than thousands of reflections?

Am I as intangible as the rays of light reflected by Mirrors?

Oh God

How do I outrun my own voice?

My own mind?

How do I escape

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22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION he year 2023 was supposed to be my year.

T

I’ve spent much of this year trying to cope with

It was far from that. However, this year

this newfound person who has been forced to

taught me a lot about relationships, includ-

learn and grow at a speed that most people would

ing friendships, and how important those are to a

find disturbing. The world doesn’t stop for anyone

healthy, well-rounded human being.

or anything. The only way to grow and learn is to

The year started out great. I was making friends

change perspective because it’s the only way out of

and was happy. It all came to a screeching halt. A

the current situation. Being stuck on past relation-

relationship fell apart, and I quickly threw myself

ships isn’t getting me where I want to be in life, so I

into other aspects of my life. I found an apartment

have no choice but to move past it and grow without

and had a good time packing, buying furniture, and

dwelling on those past circumstances. In the grand

figuring out everything that comes with an apart-

scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. Some relation-

ment. I spent as much time in the gym and doing

ships are temporary, and they teach things about

a sport I loved. I picked up more extracurriculars

yourself you wouldn’t know otherwise. For that part,

and spent even more time in the gym. I spent more

I’m grateful. I’m grateful that I learned to listen

time focusing on my schoolwork and more time

to my instincts more often rather than

rekindling old friendships. I even found time to find

ignoring them, to trust my friends

a puppy.

It took me a while to find the perfect puppy. I went to a local shelter to adopt one, and none of the dogs fit me or my personality. They were either too big or not the right breed for me. Because I view getting a dog as a lifetime commitment, I decided to go to a breeder to pick out the perfect mini poodle puppy. I had a standard poodle when I lived with my parents, so I wanted a mini version as a little slice of home. I’ve done extensive research for this because dogs deserve the world. My ideal dog would be a golden or black mini poodle.

I spent most of the year learning to trust myself again. Trust is hard to rebuild once it’s been broken, even when it’s the ability to trust yourself again. I’ve learned that it’s a long and painful process, especially when the world keeps on spinning. There’s no time to re-adjust to the new person that’s been created.

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more, and that I am worthy of being treated with respect.

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WRITTEN BY MADELYNN DODDS ILLUSTRATION BY LEYNA NGUYEN

Healing from a

Broken

Relationship 13

22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION

UNTI T LED 14

REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07

WRITTEN BY HUY TRAN

I

ILLUSTRATION BY JASMINE TABOBO

am lost in a place that knows no name, no bound-

and accolades” and whatnot. And whenever I hear

pay attention or support me. So, I suppress all my

aries – no one. I don’t know where to go or what

them say that, I lose a sense of fulfillment in myself.

thoughts and feelings from everyone

will happen to me. Will I be this way forever?

These “victories” were never mine in the first place;

That is until I decided to contact my therapist

If you are a college student majoring in the Arts

they were for others. And sometimes, when my

for the first time. The thing was, my family and my

and feeling lost and worried about your future, let

“failures” show, like when I had terrible grades in

culture have conditioned me to repress my feelings

me assure you that you are not alone. My anxiety

my sophomore year of high school, or I couldn’t

as a form of strength, maturity, and masculinity. On

about my future has long since eaten my joy away

translate certain tax documents very well, several

top of that, I’ve been told that talking to a therapist

as I continue to live another day. While it brought

family members would often look disappointed, as

is not the right thing to do. I did it anyway.

me no physical injury, it has caused me a series of

if they thought I was better. In the most dramatic

When I first talked to my therapist, I laid out every-

emotional damage – some of which will take a long

way possible, they felt incredibly ashamed that I

thing about my life. It was awful and awkward at

while to recover.

had failed my family. They prayed and wished for

first, only because I wasn’t comfortable sharing

So many factors have made me anxious about

the old Huy, who was always this young prestigious,

my complete set of experiences yet. My ther-

what could happen to me in the future. One is that

gifted, and intelligent man. The thought of it makes

apist understood where I was coming from, and

I will be the first in my family to graduate college, so

me feel like I am fake and nonexistent, that I don’t

comforted me by saying it wasn’t my fault that I did

the mental toll and pressure my parents give me is

deserve to exist in this world.

not meet the expectations of others. Sometimes,

increasingly heavy. Two is I might not get the jobs I

But thinking about it now, I empathize with my

people see life as a race: get a job at 20, get married

feel good about after college. And three, and more

family because their past wasn’t as “normal” as the

by 30, et cetera. Seeing life this way is never the

importantly… my life is damn short.

present I have now. They didn’t grow up in a priv-

most fulfilling way to go. My therapist encourages

Reflecting on these things, I sometimes feel like

ileged position in society or a place of economic

me to take my time because my life is all that I have.

I’m an astronaut lost in space. Everything around

growth when they were young. My family wasn’t

I should own my life and, as cheesy as it may sound,

me is weightless – no sky, ground, or stability. It’s hard to condense this silent chaos into a few words.

Nothing is certain, and nothing is determined. It’s all just blank.

savor every moment– no one who will take it away.

In every evolution, art is human first and foremost.”

And while this place is silent, the only loud noise

I took the words from my therapist and put them into practice. Since then, I have accepted my decisions and experiences, knowing that everything I do has some meaning. For example, I have decided to

is the looming thoughts chasing around my head.

just living – they were surviving for their lives. They

major in film. In the eyes of many parents who have

Some of the thoughts include: “Who will I be after

work extra hard for jobs that are so simple today –

immigrated to America, including mine, their child

college? Will I get a job that I feel comfortable

just to earn extra and be acclimated with the rest

majoring in the arts is one big part of an awful list of

working in? Will I find a community that genu-

of the upper society.

disappointments. My parents fear that if their child

inely supports me and my work? Will I maintain my

And history repeats even to this day. I often get

pursues an art career, they’ll feel unfulfilled with no

success as an artist? Will I ever get to know who I

called one of the most “hard-working” people in my

“financial stability.” In reality, that is not always the

really am? Will I ever be happy?”

field because I want to maintain my success and

case. There will always be opportunities to earn a

While I continue to find these answers for myself,

my composure. But deep down inside, I don’t know

livable wage while making art.

several of my friends and people I’ve known have

what I am doing. I have been flooded with internal

Even better, there are those out there willing

answered some of these questions for me. People

pressures to look “impressionable” and “better.”

to make the creative industry as sustainable and

who have seen my creative work know I am artistic

The weight of responsibility is killing me, but I keep

healthy as possible. Look at the strikes in the past

and have a creative mind. They were impressed with

telling myself to keep my ass going. And frankly

several months: creators and artists have called out

my work and told me I have potential and a future

speaking, this idea is toxic and shouldn’t be kept

executives and authorities that their work has value

because I have put in so much to my work. While

by myself.

and that they should be properly compensated and

these statements are boldly positive and larger

Like many first-generation immigrants and

respected. On top of that, they don’t want their work

than life, I’m unsure if they are all objectively true.

“hyphenated” people, I was met with a great deal

to be fed into machine learning in the interest of

As a child of immigrant parents and a person who

of expectations by people close to me that I must

creative executives. I’m sure that artists can agree

was deemed to be a “child prodigy,” my measure-

be successful. As an adult, I’m supposed to know

with this idea: In every evolution, art is human first

ment of success has long since been skewed and

everything – schools, finance, career, and the like.

and foremost. I’m glad I get to see artists fighting

overly exaggerated. My peers and family members

Because of that, I feel pressured and afraid. As

for a common goal because this gives me so much

would often tell me that I was “smart,” “talented,”

much as I want to dump out my concerns and fears,

hope for my future. I feel comfort in the community,

and “winning all of the time, with all of these A’s

I fear that anyone listening to me doesn’t actually

the unity, and that the people in all these circum-

15

22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION stances care about each other.

also started to work with people with more experi-

But until then, I will continue to float in this

That is why it is good for me to find my commu-

ence in film production. When I worked with these

massive, foggy void and fear for what happens next

nity – one I feel comfortable and connected to –

people, they gave me not only creative inspiration

to me.

that whatever I do and create matters. It feels so

but also creative freedom. It’s rare for me to collab-

What will happen next? To be honest, I don’t

satisfying to surround myself with like-minded

orate with people who are willing to listen to my

know. And I don’t really have to know everything –

people and people who accept me for who I am,

ideas. Being in that space has brought me comfort,

that is the beauty of the human experience. Every

not only as a creator but also as a person. For a long

knowing that whatever content I make has value.

day is a surprise, and I get to learn new lessons.

time, I have been treated with contempt from other

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel trapped

There is always something nice to look forward to.

people for my work and who I am. They find me and

anymore; I finally felt I belonged. I didn’t get that

But while I am optimistic about the future, I still

my work to be “too much” or “too extra” and that I’ve

kind of appreciation and care before, and I would be

remain cautious. It is possible that there are people

overdone them. People often say that I am a show-

a different person had I not been surrounded by a

who would take advantage of my own work, whether

off and I try too hard to prove my artistic abilities to

group of good people.

it would be taking mine without giving it proper

them when, actually, I do this for myself.

There are also people who devalue my art and intentions. The worst thing of all is that I feel people become friends with me only when I make art.

credit or feeding my content in machine learning.

I saw a post a while ago where machine learning

when it will be the right time to move on.

can automatically edit a video and make it look like

Leaving a place of support is a difficult thing to

it’s well-produced. In a world where convenience

I’m grateful that I have gotten a lot of support

do, but it is always a respectable and mature one.

while sacrificing integrity becomes a standard

for my work during my time on campus. Before

This community has given me so many opportu-

around the world, giving credit and appreciation

coming here, I didn’t get that much support as a

nities to showcase my creative skills to so many

to artists is underrated and important to the high-

creative person. I have poured extra effort into my

people, and it has fostered a feeling of kinship

est degree. People have worked their entire body

creative projects, both personal and commissioned,

and connection in the knowledge that hard work

and soul to create works that scream loudly: “This

because I want to get my work noticed by a lot of

shouldn’t go unnoticed. This kind of community is

is human, this is me, I made this, this exists, and I

people, including potential employers. For a long

hope that you recognize them.” Disappointingly,

support STEM more so than the Arts because offi-

“Every day is a surprise, and I get to learn new lessons.”

cials believe that it is not only good for the student’s

meant to be supportive and positive, and I wish to

graphic designers, motion graphic designers, 3D/

financial and overall well-being, but it’s also bene-

stay that way. Of course, any kind of hub or commu-

VFX artists, and so many more. This, and being

ficial to the national economy. Art is merely an

nity comes with underlying issues and flaws that are

overworked but underpaid, is the root of complete

afterthought to them. The art scene where I lived

well beyond remedying. To be trustworthy, everyone

burnout and artists quitting the creative industry.

was hidden from sight, and the kinds of art that I

who mainly handles this community, would have

This effect is the worst thing that so many great

saw around my community were frankly unoriginal

to confront these problems head-on while being

artists, especially the most talented and hard-work-

and over-copied – the spirit of art and art-making

open and transparent about them. These values are

ing ones, commonly experience to this day. I wish

is barely non-existent. I only found good art and

undervalued in our society and should be practiced

that there was some way that people treat artists

support in my local community through my friends

rigorously and discussed frequently. I have seen

with a high level of respect and understanding. They

and classmates. Not only have they made amaz-

so many times where communities that were once

are precious, and, in my opinion, they are the last

ing artwork, but they have also supported me as

thriving and supportive are later becoming hostile

bastions of humanity. They saved the hearts of so

an artist. The problem at the time was that I felt

and corrupt because people prefer to brush off

many people and made their lives more bearable

uncomfortable sharing my flaws and weaknesses

certain things that are directly their responsibility

because of their creations, and I hope that people

with my peers. Because of that, I felt trapped in a

and move on. As an artist and a person, these are

can acknowledge that.

place that was supposed to be my “comfort zone.”

the kinds of communities that I don’t want to be

As for me, I hope that one day I get to find a light

I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere.

a part of. To foster a healthy and genuinely posi-

in the darkness – a place that I feel belong to, where

time, I was living in a place where art is always looked down upon. My schools have often emphasize and

16

But time will go on and these good people will come and go. At some point, in my heart, I will know

we haven’t reached the point where people, including commissioners, properly recognize, credit, and support artists – not just illustrators but also

Things began to change when I first stepped

tive community means that core members would

I am free to tell my stories and create something

onto this campus as a Film major and stumbled

need to acknowledge and address the underlying

surprising. The catch is that I’ll have to make an

across a special hub of creative people. From the

problems and communicate and find ways to solve

effort to find one, so it will be difficult and take a

beginning, I was welcomed into this massive and

them while being respectful of one another. There

long while. What is certain is this: wherever I go,

engaging community with open arms. I was assured

are not a lot of decent and honest art communities

whatever happens next, I will find my own answers

that this “hub” was made to be a place of support

(yet), and finding them is going to require a lot of

and my own place in this strange and compli-

for artists like me. In this place, I have met several

work even after I graduate, but it will save me and

cated existence, and it will be worth filling in the

people with similar interests and vibes as I do, and I

my sanity in the long run.

missing blank.

REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07

17

22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION

I “You end up realizing you get a lot more out of the present when you aren’t constantly worrying about the future or the past.”

18

still remember going to kindergarten. I remember

thought I was the only one a little scared to grad-

the small classroom with the letters of the alpha-

uate, but I find that there are many others who

bet stretching above the chalkboard. I remember

feel this way too. Such a big shift in your life, even

the small round tables where we did arts and crafts

when positive, is terrifying, especially when you find

and the playground right outside with the sand-

comfort in the same routine you’ve been doing for

box and a slide. I remember playing hopscotch and

years, even if sometimes it drives you crazy.

handball and playing heads up seven up on rainy

Growing up is very strange, and I still don’t under-

days. It is a very distant memory that you have to

stand it, yet it’s happening, and I’m doing it. I went

reach into the back of your mind to get, but it’s still

from doing arts and crafts in preschool to doing full-

sitting there after all those years somehow. Now,

blown business projects with legitimate compa-

here I am sitting on my university campus, where I

nies; even with so many years in between, the slow

hear the same chitter chatter of groups of students

shift is painful but exciting. It’s like not wanting to

going by that I’ve always heard, but definitely less

leave the warm comfort of your bed in the morning,

screaming since there’s no playground and we’re

even though you are excited for your day. Don’t get

“grown-ups.” I’ve been to preschool, kindergarten,

me wrong, there are many positives to growing up

elementary school, middle school, high school,

as well, but as most of you reading this may know,

community college, and now university, with one

childhood is something we still daydream about.

semester left until my entire school career ends. I

The innocence and lack of responsibility before the

REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07

REFLECTIONS OF A

soon-to-be

College

Graduate

WRITTEN BY JESSICA SUTTER ILLUSTRATION BY ANNILEE RUSSELL

pushing questions of “What do you want to be when

enjoyable. A lot of the social pressures we now real-

ber writing on my great grandma’s typewriter as a

you grow up?” were bestowed upon you. What did

ize were silly are gone; some people still act the

little kid, and now here I am, almost 23, and writ-

you like to do before those pressures were thrown

same, but I don’t care anymore. I don’t care anymore

ing on a brand new laptop on my college campus.

on you? I think even as adults, it’s important for us

about these small things, but I also treat everything

When you’re a kid, you idealize these moments, and

to get in touch with that part of ourselves; to redis-

with so much more care than before.

when you’re there you enjoy it but are very anxious

cover what made us happiest in our most careless

As most Long Beach Unified School District

about the future. You end up realizing you get a lot

and innocent times, and never let that go as you

students do, I took a field trip here when I was in

more out of the present when you aren’t constantly

grow up, even when your responsibilities increase.

4th or 5th grade; I remember the school provided

worrying about the future or the past.

So many things change in all of the years that

lunches with cookies so rock hard a student threw

These are the times I used to dream about as a

you are in school. It used to be terrifying having no

them at a brick wall, and it didn’t break. Luckily now

kid, and these are now the memories I will daydream

one to eat lunch with or play with at recess, but now

I’m on a giant campus with multiple restaurants

about when I’m older. As I’ve grown older, my grati-

I’m not at all afraid to eat lunch by myself on the

instead of one small cafeteria of frozen food. The

tude has grown more and more. I know now that we

lawn under the trees; in fact I find so much peace

school seemed so big and endless, and now I’m here

are all always close to death, and when you remem-

in it. I used to dread going to school once it wasn’t

as an adult and it feels much smaller. Although, the

ber that, every moment alive is beautiful. I’m grate-

just arts and crafts anymore; I would pretend to

world feels much, much bigger.

ful for all the times I’ve been able to dodge death,

be sick so that I could stay home, but now that I’m

You always idolize graduating all those years

and everyone else should be, too. Don’t be scared

done with all those terrible math classes, and I’m

you’re in school, but when you get to that point, you

for the future; be grateful, and excited you’ve been

just learning things that I find interesting, it’s more

start having scary new feelings about it. I remem-

given the opportunity to experience it.

19

22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION

(don’t)

Recognize.

WRITTEN BY ALANA LOINAZ & CHAD DUPRE ILLUSTRATION BY ALLISON RAFTERS

20

Y

ou don’t look as good as you used to. Your body has changed; your hips are wider, your arms look rounder, and your face is

fluffier. You don’t look as good as you used to. Your mind has changed; your thoughts are blurrier, your decisions seem irrational, and your interests are off. You don’t look as good as you used to. Your soul has changed; your energy is dark, your aura seems twisted, and your sparkle is sparkless. You don’t look as good as you used to.

I look at old photos and don’t recognize myself, but I keep striving to be that same person again:

REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07 the girl I don’t recognize. She had been through a

Enthusiasm, scared to face the world? Or is it

lot less but still quite too much for her age. She

better to truck through life like some down-and-

promised she wouldn’t let herself go, and I’m

out jerk, angry at the world, so you decide to take

pretty sure she didn’t. I was the one who acciden-

it out on someone you see as lesser? Both of these

tally let go of her hand, and she got lost along the

options are horribly unproductive, and frankly,

way. She recognizes herself as something she built

you’re an asshole for doing either one. As some-

with her bare hands, even though she hasn’t met

one who has made the mistake of being the first

me: her incredibly flawed handmade product that

guy, you realize you are just as self-aware as the

she will never receive recognition for. I’m certain

other jerk I mentioned. There is a balance to be

she was nothing more than the first stage of a

found here; the ability to constructively self-re-

personality trial. The girl I don’t recognize has been

flect on specific moments in your life, past or pres-

lost for a bit, and I will make sure she never finds

ent, allows you to grow as an individual.

her way “home.”

“There is a balance to be found here; the ability to constructively self-reflect on specific moments in your life, past or present, allows you to grow as an individual.”

This does in fact seem like the entire purpose

But what is home anyway? Is it the place you

of life. Experiencing that terrifying fall into dark-

go when you need to stuff your face with choco-

ness, slipping deeper into your self-torture, is an

late or your most self-aware state of mind? I can’t

experience that forces you to adapt. That ruthless

really give you a concrete answer, otherwise I’d

return to the present world is the ultimate triumph

be a terrible writer. I’m supposed to force you to

from these moments—dragging yourself out from

look at yourself no matter how painful it may be.

that pit of horror like some badass from Apoca-

Hey, don’t hate me. Hate whoever decided that

lypse Now. These moments truly do change you,

self-reflection is important for every human being

but it is up to you as to how this change occurs.

– because it soooo fucking is.

This is one of the toughest moments, but taking

If you are trying to distract yourself from

the time to gather the courage and place your-

something, it is because you should be healing

self back to that moment can help you gain a crit-

from it. When you choose to forgive those who

ical understanding of why and how. Neglecting

hurt you, you choose to forgive yourself – espe-

this period of reflection leads you toward that

cially if you are the reason for your inner injuries.

self-loathing asshole I mentioned earlier—no one

If you’ve gotten this far into this reading—340

wants to be that person. Finding that inspiration

words in—you could probably take 340 more

in your stomach to throw yourself back in the fire

steps into creating a better today. Not tomorrow,

shapes your ability to deal with adversity—to give

not yesterday… today. It’s the only way you will get

any second of self-doubt or pain the middle finger

better from whatever you’ve been dealing with,

and keep moving.

whether or not that has to do with your old and unrecognizable self.

The changes that occur during these moments are exactly what make you human. Your individ-

Don’t tell me you haven’t been dealing with

uality is illuminated by the grit it takes to push

something. You absolutely have. Whether it is

further. Handling these lows makes you wiser—

something happy, sad, terrifying, traumatizing,

you are renewed with a larger capacity for empa-

exciting, or neutral, it is something. Something

thy. There is no real reason for you to make this

worth reflecting on, something worth working

circus act we perform all the more difficult for the

on, something worth your full attention, your full

person across from you. Why not complement the

effort. If you don’t recognize what it is, try harder. I

student practicing their speech on campus? Why

can guarantee you it is there. The girl I don’t recog-

can you not tell someone their fit is absolutely

nize is my thing; she messes with my head all the

killing it today? In a time filled with anxiety-driven

time. I miss her. I hate her, but I am letting her heal

action where overthinking each individual step

from whatever made her feel so dark and twisty.

you take is a common practice, there is a need for

What are you doing for the person you don’t know

warm kindness. Every single person is living inside

and the one you do recognize?

their head—be kinder to yourself, and smile at each

Is it better to self-reflect to the point of crip-

other. There is no moment to waste here, so why

pling yourself—hermit-crabbing away in your

fill the air with negative nonsense that gets us

room, binge-watching Friends and Curb Your

nowhere?

21

22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION

REVEAL , RESPOND, REFLECT WRITTEN BY AMIRA MUTHALIP

▲ CSULB STUDENTS RALLY IN SUPPORT OF PALESTINIAN INDEPENDENCE, OCTOBER 25 PHOTO PROVIDED BY 22 WEST MEDIA

22

REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07

“Matters like these don’t only take place in the Middle East; the results of poverty, inequality, and war are faced all around the world, and each of them deserves a voice.”

REVEAL: In the years 1936 to 1939, the British began its

media companies in the West tend to air news from

colonialism of Palestine and mass immigration of

Israeli land, disconnecting the world from seeing

European Jews. When the Palestinians launched

the suffrage of the Palestinian people. Millions

a general strike of withholding tax payments and

of people across the world gather in protests

boycotting against Jewish products, they were

and rallies to speak out against the injustice on

brutally repressed by the British who launched

the Palestinians, as well as on the hypocritical

arrest campaigns and carried out home demoli-

governments who support and fund the genocide

tions, a practice that Israel continues to implement

of a population. Participating in protests, rallies,

against Palestinians to this day.

boycotts, etc. are all routes to raising awareness of

In 1947, the Israel state was established through

the silenced voices of the Palestinian people and

the Partition Plan, adopted by the United Nations.

making humanity open its eyes, ears, and arms to

In the process of dividing the land of Palestine

each other.

into Jewish and Arab states, 750,000 Palestinian

A university student expresses where she gets

natives were displaced and forced to relocate to

the strength to talk about the Palestinian people.

other regions and even neighboring countries never

She says, “The Palestinian people itself inspire and

able to return to their home soil again. This ethnic

motivate me to have faith and be selfless. Hearing

cleansing of the Palestinian people is known as

them proclaim their trust in God reminds me to stay

Nakba, catastrophe. The years following Nakba led

persistent in my prayers and increase my voice in

to an increase of Jewish settlers, reducing Palestin-

protests and rallies!”.

ian land to the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, both under Israeli military occupation. For years to come,

REFLECT:

Palestinians fought back the Israelis in movements

This is not just a fight for Palestinians around the

known as the Intifada, the Palestinian uprising.

world, rather it’s one for Muslims who see their

When looking at Palestinian resistance versus

brothers’ and sisters’ steadfast faith despite facing

Israeli constant attacks, I think a clear nefariousness

the biggest hardships. It’s for the Arabs who watch

is seen from the Israelis as they continue to assert

their neighboring nation in shambles and flames,

their dominance on land that they have no right

Americans who witness their government funding

over. To this day, Israel continues to launch military

such wickedness, and humanity whose eyes cant

assaults on Palestinian people, yet it is only when

bear to see anymore of the pain and torture of the

Hamas, a political group from Palestine, retaliates

people of Palestine. Trauma from occupation and

strongly enough, that the whole world finally opens

displacement has been the reality of the Pales-

its eyes to see the catastrophes of Israel’s uneth-

tinians for years now, and speaking out for them

ical occupation of Palestinian, more commonly

should not feel like a burden.

depicted as the Israel-Palestine “conflict”.

We must learn from the selfless, brave, and true doctors, nurses, journalists in Palestine, to put

RESPOND:

humanity first, resisting and sacrificing the comfort

No one can condemn any side for taking away the

of our lives for someone else’s. Matters like these

innocent lives of children, men, women, hospital

don’t only take place in the Middle East; the results

workers, etc. however, the reason and extent to

of poverty, inequality, and war are faced all around

which each of them is going should be observed.

the world, and each of them deserves a voice. While

After the Hamas attack, the retaliation from Israel

it is rewarding to see a change for one cause, we

has been non-stop under the guise of “defending”

mustn’t forget about all the others. We must view

themselves. Food, electricity, and fuel cuts, demol-

each of these causes as our own and continue to

ishing of hospitals and homes through airstrikes,

ignite the fires in our hearts to demand for every

and forceful evacuation of the people are all attacks

child, mother, father, and individual to live a life

of the Israeli government on the Palestinians. Big

they deserve.

23

22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION

WILL

WE EVER

WIN? A REFLECTION ON MODERN AI 24

REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07

WRITTEN BY JESSICA WELLS

ILLUSTRATED BY ABIHAIL ORTEGA

A

s far back in my memory as I’m able to

I remember it being a news story with people on

to hear Trisha Paytas sing “Despacito,” you’ll be in

visit, I remember times when I wanted to

Reddit making President Obama say what they

luck–it’s probably out there. Better yet, you can

be an artist. I didn’t know how to or in what

wanted, and the world collectively seemed to think

make it.

capacity; I just knew I was building up into the life of

it was suspiciously scary, yet we moved on and

While it all seems to be well and fun for now,

a creative. So, I played around with every form of art

turned a blind eye. I remember when ChatGpt came

it doesn’t seem like a battle we, as artists, will be

I could get my hands on to stretch my imagination

out hardly a year ago, and now operating as a full-

winning. Traditional artists have been crying for

to its fullest extent.

time writer and full-time threat. It’s even common-

help since the rise of text-to-image sites. The like-

Even though I couldn’t hold a tune or memorize

place here on campus, still as an infant. In February

lihood of artists being commissioned is decreasing,

a two-step, I wanted to be like the stars I saw on

this year, Snapchat released a MyAI feature, allow-

and the percentage of people conning as “artists”

Disney Channel. I wanted to sing, dance, and sit in

ing users to make a “bitmoji” and text a computer

has been increasing. It’s already been seen with

those fancy chairs that would have my name on

like a friend. On Sept. 27, Meta AI unveiled “Billie,”

the long-running voice actress of Daphne in Scoo-

the back.

an AI girl just like an older sister who can talk and

by-Doo, Grey DeLisle, being charged $650 for

While I never had a talent for drawing, I liked

text anytime, (blinking face in the corner of the

an AI-generated print of her character, originally

painting. I’ve never understood lines, shapes, or the

screen at all times included) as a feature on Insta-

meant to be sold to fans after being autographed,

human form no matter how often I had it broken

gram. Not to mention that “Billie” has the rights to

but scrapped the image after being alerted that

down into baby steps and explained to me. But that

Kendall Jenner’s likeness in full, voice included. Oh,

she was scammed. Even if that is the case, it’s just

didn’t stop me from taking a couple of years of art in high school just to try it out. Failure was a part of the process, and in that failure, I figured out I liked painting. I wasn’t near the best or even talented. Instead, I found my place in encouraging classmates. That was all right; it made them special, and it inspired a stronger work ethic.

When I was old enough, I was able to try my hand at theater. Again, not my strong suit, but I found joy in trying and failing and in watching those around me succeed and find a place. I also found rapture

a small corner of the internet. Sure, AI art has yet

“But in this life I find myself grasping at any art form, just in any way I can prove I exist and express my humanity.”

in knowing there was something else out there.

to breach the mainstream? Of course, it has, as many have pointed out, the usage of AI in the Loki season two poster, but Disney has stayed silent on the matter. But that is to be expected of one of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers companies that were willing to explore AI before the strikes from WGA and SAG this year.

But, of course, things are not that easy. While the writers got a fair deal, many of the actors are still in distress. While all their requests were met, there was one they had to meet in the middle regarding

I finally found my place in my Junior-year

but it’s not just “Billie,” there’s also “Bru,” with Tom

the usage of “digital doubles.” These allow for the

creative writing class, where I was able to develop

Brady’s likeness, and “Dungeon Master,” with Snoop

studio to change the hair, makeup, and even as far

my love for writing. While it was not as flashy as the

Dogg’s likeness. While these people are consenting

as physical placement in a scene. If a background

others, it was something, and it was mine.

and being paid millions as compensation, only the

actor’s “digital double” is given a line or two and

future will tell if the money is worth it.

earns themself a speaking role, they will be fairly

Maybe in another life, I could have been drawn to nursing or have a passion for studying the law.

However, despite the people at the top being the

compensated, though they will have none of the

Maybe in that life, math and science could’ve been

ones paid off here, that’s not stopping the technol-

experience and none of the reward for having been

my crutch, and I could’ve pursued engineering. But

ogy from being easily accessible to those not willing

the one to have done the scene.

in this life I find myself grasping at any art form,

to cough up the proper payment.

When it comes down to it, this usage of AI will

just in any way I can prove I exist and express my

The music industry is seeing a similar issue, with

be part of a race to be the first to discover the next

humanity. These forms of art prove we’re alive,

the Universal Music Group suing TikTok creators

bigger and better thing. It’s a chase for the imme-

and that showcases how artists can connect to

for creating a song with Drake and The Weekend’s

diate satisfaction of being able to say: “It was me; I

everyone in a way that transcends the art they put

voices, of course, without consent. If you find your-

did it.” As artists, but most importantly as humans,

forward. It proves we are human.

self scrolling through social media long enough, you

someone has to get hurt in the process. Someone’s

With the rise of modern technology, I feel as if

could find AI-generated versions of album covers,

worth needs to come into question as we ponder if

we’re experiencing technological singularity, not

either expanding on the previous cover or creating

it is all truly worth it. But who am I to talk? I bet the

fully aware of how this path will affect artists a

a whole new fake album. And while you’re at it, you

computer could tell you something more profound.

few years from now. I remember my first alarm-

can find an artist of your choice singing any of your

Its feelings won’t be hurt by it, like mine. That’s what

ing encounter with AI through “deep fakes” in 2017.

favorite songs now. If you ever thought you wanted

makes it better, right?

25

22 WEST MAGAZINE STUDENT LIFE

Que Buen Año Entre

Las Hermanas Unidas

WRITTEN BY ISABELLA SIQUEIRA

W

ithin the Hispanic and Latinx commu-

social services.” The organization strives to provide

at Long Beach State as she had been “scared of

nities, there have been advancements

a safe and educational environment for those of the

not fitting in with the right people.” For her, HAU

and achievements within the past year.

Latinx community.

has helped her find her place and has allowed her

From Bad Bunny receiving the title of “Artist of

Out of HAU’s board members stands Nadia

to connect with others who are like her. Being a

the Year” by Apple Music to twenty-five-year-old

Gonzalez, one of the co-chairs. Since she has been

first-generation Latina herself, Nadia has realized

Afro-Cuban Maxwell Frost becoming the first to

a part of HAU for some time now, she has been

the importance of “reaching out” to the Latinx

represent Gen Z in Congress, the Latinx commu-

able to reflect on the progress the organization has

community, as being involved with her cultural side

nity has much to celebrate this year. While these are

made this past year. She says that this year specif-

has made her feel “more confident and safer.”

broader and even international examples, the Latinx

ically, it felt as if the club began to grow rapidly as it

community has also flourished here on campus.

has “given a sense of home to so many students.”

Among the several student-led clubs and orga-

For several students, especially those who come

nizations here at LBSU, Hermanas Unidas (HAU) is

from different backgrounds and speak other

one of the few that focus on the Latinx community.

languages, it is often hard to find a place where they

Hermanas Unidas is a non-profit organization that

can relate to others and be their authentic selves.

[revolves] around four pillars: “community, wellness,

Fortunately, HAU has allowed many Latinx students

academic and

to find their place on campus. For this reason, Nadia

Next semester, Nadia intends to introduce

“Fortunately, HAU has allowed many Latinx students to find their place on campus.”

and her fellow co-chair have two main goals for the upcoming year: “to create a welcoming space… [and] to have many returners each meeting.”

“shadowing a steering position.” She defines this as

They hope to achieve these two goals in

a way members will be able to “shadow,” or see, how

order for members to bond closely with

each club officer “performs their tasks.” In doing

one another. Currently, Nadia says

this, Nadia hopes that those who are interested

the club participates in icebreakers

in becoming an officer can understand the differ-

and other activities to help encour-

ent roles among board members to help decide

age participation among members

which role would suit them best and to get an idea

and to help provide a fun break from

of how the club functions “behind the scenes.” She

their studies.

looks forward to making new friends with those in

While she, her co-chair, and

the club and HAU’s annual state conference, where

other officers oversee creating a space

members can network with other HAU chapters in

for Latinx individuals to learn and grow,

the state. The club is active on Instagram, where

Nadia has learned a lot about herself [since

they post updates and meeting information. The

she started running the club]. She says that at

HAU chapter here at LBSU awaits more members

first, it was difficult for her to find her place here

26

and participation next year.

REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07

▲ HAU CLUB MEMBERS COMPLETE A SERVICE ACTIVITY, PHOTO BY NADIA GONZALEZ ◄ PHOTO BY ISABELLA SIQUEIRA

27

22 WEST MAGAZINE STUDENT LIFE

WRITTEN BY ERIC CEJA RUIZ ILLUSTRATION BY SERENA LOGAN 28

BOUNCE WITH

SOUND

REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07

S

ounds that bounce with the touch of a

times when power was lacking. It adapted when it

button vibrate through the air, into our

needed to, and it inspired new individual creativity.

ears, and out into our hearts. Feeding our

The rhythm and the flow of beats impacted

anticipation as our heart syncs with the 808 beats.

my life. Still, it also is infused into the media we

Art engineered down to the last thump, creating a

consume every day. In the modern day of stream-

poetic pattern that brings comfort or power. Music

ing, it is super easy for individuals to access all

engulfs its subject, allowing for the creation of indi-

types of music. Music that plays as the main char-

viduals, memories, and communities. Music is like

acter in a movie is off to start their journey, or the

the waves of sound that travel through the air and

sad music composed to make a river of tears flow

into our hearts. It’s beautiful to see the way it adapts

down our cheeks. Music that plays as we go shop

depending on its creator; it weaves together Lana

or cultural music that plays as we go eat at our

Del Rey’s unforgettable glamour, Brockhampton’s

favorite restaurants. Social media platforms like

ruminating rhymes, Bad Bunny’s rhythmic Latin

TikTok allow artists of all genres and all experiences

flow, Stray Kids’ captivating beats to the thundering

to share their musical art for a chance to be seen

riffs of Metallica, adapting to the heartfelt storytell-

by the world. I can only speak for myself, but I am

ing of Morgan Wallen, the gut-wrenching ballads of

confident that music is a gift that lives on through

Adele, the dreamy sounds of Tame Impala, the raw

history even when its creator has passed. It is a gift

authenticity of Girl in Red, and the boundary-push-

and a legacy that lives on and is appreciated by new

ing creativity of Kendrick Lamar. Music is a gift that

generations of individuals hungry for art to fill their

keeps us human.

little hearts’ desires.

I write this article from the southwest terrace

Though the year is ending, it is still a perfect

at the University Student Union as the Musicians’

opportunity to enjoy new music and appreciate the

Club prepares to perform their first performance

art that comes through the many different genres.

of the semester. Musicians stand to the right of

Scan the code to hear what CSULB students have

the stage, excited for their turn to show the world

been listening to this year. Curated through a

their art and passion. Each expresses themselves

campus-wide survey.

“Music engulfs its subject, allowing for the creation of individuals, memories, and communities.”

in their own style accompanied by their instrument of choice. In just minutes, their notes will begin to dance through the air and bring smiles to those sitting around. It is inspiring to watch individuals with such passion gather.

As the year ends, individuals are presented with their Spotify Wrapped or Apple Music Replay, which reviews its user’s listening metrics. With over 700 hours of music play time in 2023, it is a perfect time to reflect on the importance and ways music has impacted me. This year has gone by faster than I could have imagined. Still, it has also been a significant year where I got introduced to countless genre-bending musicians. I learned how to appreciate different forms of music and the poetic beats and lyrics that come along. Amid school, work, and social chaos, music kept me afloat this year, and I

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owe it to the fact that many of my favorite artists released new music. Music allowed me to create new memories through the cold winter, into the sunny spring days, through the hot summer nights, and back into the fall semester as 2023 comes to an end. Music has brought comfort in times of uncertainty and made me feel more powerful in

29

22 WEST MAGAZINE STUDENT LIFE andy, my black lab, never minded how long

C

Around the time when the coronavirus pandemic

doghouse. It was my sister who had noticed that

it had been since she’d seen my face. She

began, we adopted a puppy from my uncle. Yoshi

her behavior was odd. Eventually, Candy became

would sniff my legs and feet, nudging into

was like a smaller version of Candy, with longer and

completely limp.

me, before I briskly entered my home, escaping

fluffier hair and without the white toes. At first he

A dark silhouette seemed to always be in the

from the discomfort of an overly excited dog. She

was nervous and shaky. Yoshi was meant to calm

corner of my eye. During that year of strange occur-

had the typical frame of a lab but remained heavy,

down the tension of loss and stress due to the

rences, I feared it in the pitch-black corner of the

having a large belly and a tail that felt like steel when

pandemic and was my mother’s idea for additional

living room and the dark shapes of strangers walk-

it smacked against me. I adored the white hair worn

company (in our already cramped home) for both

ing at night, who were too far away to detail. I swore

on her chest, giving off a pride or uniqueness–her

our family and Candy. It was a funny thing, mostly

it lurked in the back seat when I wasn’t looking and

toes were also white. Candy was really optimistic,

because this was spontaneous, but also because

followed my siblings when they coughed too loud.

being old and nearly blind yet still wagging her tail

Yoshi seemed to annoy the hell out of Candy. It was

I swear I could hear it swipe and claw whenever I

and begging for affection.

when Yoshi was growing up that I heard Candy’s

heard my sister scream or my brother yell out in

The way our relationship worked was usually

first noises of discontent. Yoshi loved to get in her

pain because of a stubbed toe. I was always glad

through physical language. When I’d slide the

way, bite her, and jump at her. Candy didn’t mind

that it was a stubbed toe.

rattling, cage-like fence gate open to let myself

stepping right on his face when she walked down

into the front yard, it would alarm every dog on the

the hall.

damn street and bring her forth. Sometimes, when

Yoshi was likely the only reason she was ever

up when it was lunch time. I binge-watched series

I would feel complicated or simply guilty, I’d give her

allowed to be inside the house. About a year after

and movies. I attempted to intimidate the world by

a moment, just a moment of my attention. We’d give

Yoshi was introduced, my family decided to adopt

showing that it couldn’t hurt me anymore—because

each other looks, sometimes serious and some-

two more dogs to keep him company. During this

I was hurting myself. The only good thing that came

times awkward, telling each other about our state of mind. She tended to be some kind of lonely, and so was I. But why did I deserve my loneliness, when she was the one locked in a small space during the day, only able to come out at night to whine? That question always came up when I saw those glossy eyes

out of these weeks was going to the cinema after

“Candy knew everything; Candy understood the world in a way I couldn’t.”

purchasing a subscription. “A-list membership at AMC for 24.99 a month!” was an attractive offer. I went every week, making the theater and the mall my respite. Long movies and quiet moments after closing credits allowed for deep conversations

of hers, so fucked up that they began to fill with

inside my head. I thought about simple, non-com-

milk. I couldn’t tell if she teared up due to emotion

plicated ways of looking at everything, including

or blindness.

time, the house became “enthusiastic,” with many

how Candy may have seen the world. I thought

Other, more intimate moments we shared were

things happening all at once. My younger brother

about wise advice that no one would ever give

on the two steps of our backdoor. Whether it was

Robert and I started classes, my mother and sister

me, except when their voices appear in my head,

when my love interest rejected me, I had trouble in

visited Mexico, and my oldest brother’s wife was

stolen from reality. I thought about the smooth

school, I felt confused about my future, my best

pregnant. Most mornings during this time, Robert

coat of Candy’s hair, her cute soft ears and how

friend suffered suicidal ideation… She never failed

and I were awoken by the excited steps and licks

jolly she was.

to nuzzle me and lick my limbs as I sat upon those

of two or three dogs invading our room. Yoshi had

There was this one moment I couldn’t forget. The

steps, quiet and understanding as a dear friend.

become the leader of the three runts at this point,

memory came back to me from several years ago

Candy knew everything; Candy understood the

being followed by the white-haired Toby and the

when I lived in the suburbs. I told my mother, as a

world in a way I couldn’t. I projected all the emotions

black-haired, white-footed Estrella. The three

stupid kid, that I was afraid of the dark and there was

during my nights with Candy, staring into stars as if

disasters always left presents for us during the

danger in the dark. She told me that I shouldn’t fear

they represented my experiences in a neat, cosmic

night and when we woke up, we had to clean up the

anything because God was in my heart, keeping me

scale. It was all about me.

mess in the living room.

company. I tried to apply her advice but this only

When I’d finished my moments of vain, I had no

30

It was like this for a while, until the last few weeks of the semester. I slept in the morning and woke

Even then, I had too much time to think.

seemed to accomplish foolish courage. I realized

qualms about closing the steel security door behind

Candy died a few months after we adopted Yoshi.

later on that the shadows themselves were my

me as I walked back into the house, rejecting that

I never saw her die, I was only told that she had died.

company, whether I liked it or not. It wanted what

dog with the door’s rattles. Candy would reside

I had one opportunity to see her body and I decided

I had; when it took something, it gave something

anyway in her doghouse, even as it wasn’t locked

not to, but my family crowded around to see her.

back. I get that same feeling when I look into the

or closed. She’d whine sometimes, bothering my

They told me that she was acting irritable on the

dark and glossy eyes of the three small dogs, as if

sleep. I wondered why she would do that even at her

morning of her death. She would only lie inside her

they were birthed from the same stuff as Candy’s

old age. She should’ve learned by now the futility of

doghouse. My dad left soon after to get to work, and

milky white eyes. They are pitch-black—and I can

whining to masters.

everyone else slept while she ceased, resting in the

see myself through them.

REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07

My Encounter with the

Invisible Follower

WRITTEN BY ALBERTO JUAREZ ILLUSTRATION BY GERRICKA DACPANO

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