Issue 89.07 · December 4, 2023 · 22westmedia.com
REFLECTION ISSUE
22 WEST MAGAZINE CULTURE
In association with
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11.22.23 - 12.22.23 2
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
MAGAZINE STAFF Jensen Puckett, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@22westmedia.com Sofia Carlos, Managing Editor managingeditor@22westmedia.com Alana Loinaz, Lead Copy Editor copyeditor@22westmedia.com
LETTER FROM AN EDITOR
Caroline Bae, Art Director artdirector@22westmedia.com Panhavatey Bun, Advertising and Sales Manager advertisingmanager@22westmedia.com
Jude Sampson, Distribution Manager distributionmanager@22westmedia.com
COVER DESIGN Tricia Vu, Illustrator triciavu.weebly.com
W
e did it. We’ve finally reached the final stretch
of the fall semester, woohoo!! It’s pretty crazy how quickly this semester has gone by. It seems like I was just starting the school year with the
VOLUNTEER MEETINGS
beginning of semester tradition of getting to school over
Contact editorinchief@22westmedia. com or check our bio @22westlb on Instagram
only are we nearing the end of the semester but also the
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an hour early in a quest to fight for a parking spot. Not end of the year, which is even more insane to process. Time really does fly when you’re busy doing a speed run of assignments and projects, otherwise known as the last two weeks of the semester. In my last letter from an editor in the Grunion issue, I joked about the passage of time, so in a way writing this as we reach the end of the academic
Disclaimer and Publication Information: 22 West Magazine is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the magazine, ASI nor LBSU. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, LBSU students will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. 22 West Magazine will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustrations, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. 22 West Magazine assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Associated Students business office.
year feels oddly full circle. With all this talk about time, you could say I’m feeling a little reflective these days… which is the theme of this issue: reflection! For this issue we thought it would be cool to have people interpret the theme of reflection in their own way and choose what they want to reflect on. We have so many talented writers and artists who have contributed, so please take a minute to look through this issue. SOFIA CARLOS MANAGING EDITOR
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THE MAGAZINE
TEAM
22 WEST MAGAZINE
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
MANAGING EDITOR
LEAD COPY EDITOR
ART DIRECTOR
ADVERTISING AND SALES MANAGER
DISTRIBUTION MANAGER
JENSEN PUCKETT
ALANA LOINAZ
PANHAVATEY BUN 4
SOFIA CARLOS
CAROLINE BAE
JUDE SAMPSON
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
CONTRIBUTORS Alberto Juarez, Writer Amira Muthalip, Writer Chad Dupre, Writer Darya Jafarinejad, Writer Eric Ceja Ruiz, Writer Fia Franz-Knight, Writer Huy Tran, Writer Isabella Siqueira, Writer Jessica Sutter, Writer Jessica Wells, Writer Madelynn Dodds, Writer Sarah Williams, Writer
Abihail Ortega, Artist Allison Rafters, Artist Annilee Russell, Artist Danica Mendiola, Artist Gerricka Dacpano, Artist Jasmine Tabobo, Artist Krizzha Dee, Artist Kylie Casebeer, Artist Leyna Nguyen, Artist Nadia Gonzalez, Artist Serena Logan, Artist
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22 WEST MAGAZINE CULTURE
WRITTEN BY SARAH WILLIAMS ILLUSTRATION BY DANICA MENDIOLA
“The dramas of life end up being funny as you grow up and that’s what makes it comedic.”
2023 Is the Year of
Comedy Films
Barbie #1 in comedy via Letterboxd phases of life. The play revolves around an unknown
casted. A movie showcasing loser girls who do the
Barbie is arguably the most iconic movie release of
alien who ends up causing a catastrophe that even
absolute most to flirt instead of just talking? Sign
2023. Not only was the movie highly anticipated,
the actors don’t understand. Sarcastic dialogue and
me up.
but its humor has entertained all ages, which is a
awkward silence is what makes this movie humor-
difficult thing to achieve. The movie was directed
ous. The teenage Junior Stargazer prodigies recit-
Theater Camp
by actress Greta Gerwig, who also produced the
ing intricate topics forwards and backwards. Augie
#17 in comedy via Letterboxd
films Lady Bird (2017) and Little Women (2019).
Steenbeck’s daughters innocent one-liners. The
Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling star as Barbie and
dramas of life end up being funny as you grow up
Theater Camp, directed by Nick Lieberman and
Ken, and the movie is full of comedic irony. Barbie
and that’s what makes it comedic.
Molly Gordon, shows the charm and frustrations
subtly disses on men (Ken), while also making Ken’s
of being a part of a summer theater camp. Gordon,
character hilarious. The series Barbie Life in the
Bottoms
who has supporting roles in Booksmart (2019),
Dreamhouse had Ken as the token himbo, which
#4 in comedy via Letterboxd
and Shiva Baby (2020) had her directorial debut.
was translated in Gerwig’s movie. Traumatic humor
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Theater Camp humor includes throat coat tea, arti-
and the comedic effect oblivion has are the major
Bottoms is the raunchy comedy young queer
ficial tears, gayety, and stress. The movie was able
factors in this film.
people were waiting for. Starring Ayo Edebiri and
to effortlessly execute the excitement and tension
Rachel Sennott, this whole movie is stacked with
of the theater experience. It’s an ideal picture of
Asteroid City
humor. Two lesbians (Edebiri and Sennott) form
“childhood passion” as one said in a review on
#3 in comedy via Letterboxd
a high school fight club in order to hook up with
Letterboxd. Big personalities from people hanging
their popular girl crushes. Up and coming direc-
by a thread, typically labeled as annoying. Theater
Wes Anderson, known for his saturated color
tor Emma Seligman and star Sennott co-wrote
kids always put on an unforgettable show, which
palettes, released the film Asteroid City in June,
this film together. It spoofs on popular 90s and
is not forgotten about in the ending number of
along with four short films in late September. Aster-
2000s comedies including Fight Club (1999), Bring
the film.
oid City is about a sci-fi themed 1950s play. This
It On (2000), and Scott Pilgrim Against The World
movie is somehow able to present both emotional
(2010). Finally a heartwarming, comedic film of our
value and lighthearted innocence of different
generation. Bottoms is stupid, iconic, and well-
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
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22 WEST MAGAZINE CULTURE
F
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ashion trends have always been defined by
fashion trends. Balletcore, inspired by its name’s
prevailing cultural interests at the time; in
sake of the centuries old dance form, includes all
2023, pop culture was focused on combin-
aspects of the ballet aesthetic: flats, bows, dainty
ing aspects of real life. Those on the forefront of
pinks and whites, leg warmers, simple off the
fashion created outfits out of ordinary objects
shoulder knit sweaters and leotards. A freshman
found in the home, such as ribbons and old sports
student boils down this feminine style to the basics
jerseys. From these combinations of ordinary mate-
saying, “I love the bows, I love all of it” (Hallmon).
rial culture with fashion, two new aesthetics were
Another indicates they appreciate the “dainty,
born: Balletcore and Bloke Core. These two trends
very ultra-feminine aesthetic”(Bagswell). Another
combine inspiration from real-life professions of
student, sophomore Catherine Del Castillo says,
ballet and soccer, and make these high fashion
“[Balletcore] is a feminine way to merge workout
styles accessible to everyday people. Students at
clothes with everyday clothes.” The style combines
LBSU shared their opinions about these two trends.
comfortable ensembles with a chic aesthetic, with
It seems that while these styles tend to stay
another student saying that it “reminds me of
more relevant on the internet and less seen in
Europe, very European style.” European aesthetics
person, they don’t go unnoticed. “It’s interesting
within fashion tend to be seen as more chic and
that people are exploring different styles than what
more classical. Balletcore, after all, is very European
is usually mainstream, untraditional styles” (Kier-
at its roots.
nan Smith). While trends and even microtrends are
This is not the first time that we have seen the
seemingly mostly online, they seep into streetwear
emergence of a fashion aesthetic with details
helping individuals express their style and explore
paying homage to ballet in the 90’s. Some appre-
their personal tastes within fashion.
ciate this cyclical nature of trend cycles: “I like that
“Bloke Core ‘’ is an aesthetic born from an inter-
it’s reoccurring. I think it was at one point popular-
est in soccer and its cross-section with high fashion.
ized by Natalie Portman,” when she starred in the
Brought about by collaborations between Adidas
2010 film Black Swan (Catherine Del Castillo).
and Prada, Gucci, and Balenciaga, many fashionis-
While Bloke Core and Balletcore were the most
tas became interested in this look, which consists
notable trends of this past year, there have been
of a sports jersey, a casual, almost baggy fit jean,
many others, so many in fact that it can be hard
worn with the most popular shoe of the year, the
to keep up. Many have seen trends come and go
Adidas sambas. Many students at LBSU say that
on social media without spotting any of the styles
they are unaware of the “funny name” (Matthias
in person. “Seen a lot on social media, not a lot in
Gomez) dubbed Bloke Core but describe seeing the
person” (Smith). While 2023 has seen styles rang-
aesthetic frequently and reporting that it seems
ing from the continued resurgence of Y2K to an
“pretty cool to rep a sports team jersey” (Gomez).
uptick in the popularity of wearing over-the-ear
Others say that the style creates a “spring-like’’
headphones, students note that thrifting is becom-
(Bailei Hallmon) or even “European Summer” (Tess
ing more popular. Students at LBSU are looking for
Bagwell) feeling. Students describe the trend as
original pieces to add a sense of personal style to
colorful and refreshing to see more people experi-
their wardrobe, and do so in a way that lessens the
ment with style.
environmental impact of the fashion industry. So
While Bloke Core focuses on a male-dominated
consider thrifting as a great way to participate in
profession, Balletcore focuses on the opposite,
this past year’s trends, or even hone in on creating
ringing more feminine inspiration into mainstream
your own unique style.
“While trends... are seemingly mostly online, they seep into streetwear helping individuals express their style and explore their personal tastes within fashion.”
2023 TREND REFLECTION
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
ette BLOK CORE
WRITTEN BY FIA FRANZ-KNIGHT ILLUSTRATION BY KYLIE CASEBEER
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They need to run away, but they don’t know where to. The Mirrors are everywhere. Thousands of Mirrors line the walls,
ILLUSTRATION BY KRIZZHA DEE
The ceiling, Even the floor is one immense, never-ending Mirror. The floor is a see-through Mirror, Revealing turbulent ocean waves of mirrors below. And Opal fears one small erroneous step will shatter the glass construction they tremble on, That they will fall down below and drown in that furious sea of mirrors. Falling
Falling
Falling
Failing
Failing
Falling
Falling
Failing
Failing
Failing
Is what the mirrors around Opal say. If Opal falls, they will have to swim their way out, or be lost forever. But Opal never learned how to swim. How does Opal run away without breaking the glass floor? If Opal stays, they have to listen to the Mirrors. The Mirrors whisper, moan, cry, howl, bawl, shriek, whoop, squawk— A cacophony of tormenting voices battling for dominance in his perfidious hall. Did you feed the dog yet?
Why haven’t you started your essays yet??? You’re going to fail your classes
Why did you say that??? You’re so embarrassing!!!
Don’t act like that! Change—quick, quick!! You’re slacking, get to work
Did you screw this up?
So, sooo many things to do right now. Why are you not doing them???
There’s not enough time in the world—yet there’s too much time in the world!!
Why did they say that? Are they acting differently?
Just do it, just work, it’s not that hard, you’re overreacting
Bills bills bills!!! Everything is hopeless You need more caffeine. You want it to comfort you, but it electrifies you.
The coffee cup is another mirror—you’ll see your face in it.
Does your hair look better like this or like that? What does everyone else think?
When is enough enough?
What a weird word—enough. Looks weird, doesn’t it?
The Mirrors encircle Opal, ravenous lions preying on a hamster. They distort and straighten and distort again and Opal questions if it’s their imagination or if it’s Real, Wonders how we separate our imagination from our reality, Or if they are one and the same. The bejeweled mirrors magnify the Mirrors’ voices, beautifully enchanting tempters Luring Opal, begging them to come closer. When the fractured Mirrors project haunting reflections of past lives, When they play the memories others forgot like a repulsive film, Opal questions why these memories are entangled in these glass webs, But not the webs of those who forgot. The burden of memory becomes too much for Opal.
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WRITTEN BY DARYA JAFARINEJAD
Opal is trapped in a Hall of Mirrors.
SRORRIM FO LLAH
HALL OF MIRRORS
22 WEST MAGAZINE CREATIVE
Opal sprints away.
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
Opal runs and runs and runs and runs
and runs and runs
and runs and runs
and
runs
and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs
and
and runs
runs and runs
and runs and runs and
runs
and runs and runs and
runs.
Opal runs past the graveyard of past relationships, Where the tombstones are constructed of Mirrors, Reflecting alternate realities where the relationships survived.
What could you have done differently?
The ghosts lean on their glass tombstones and sigh, staring at Opal as they run by. The names Opal has tried to hard to scrawl out Are only more boldly engraved on the Mirror frames. Opal finally approaches an oasis. A paradise to dive into and drown out these voices, these reflections. But even the lake is clear, And forces Opal to stare at their own reflection, To hear those voices. So Opal continues running. Until they see the windows. Opal races to the windows, seeking refuge in the beautiful distraction of the outside world. But the windows are more Mirrors And all Opal sees is not joyous nature, but their own reflection frowning back at them. They cannot see whatever happiness is outside this Hall of Mirrors because all they see are Reflections. Opal lays down, covers their head with their hands, and closes their eyes, Hoping the darkness will be their salvation. But the Mirrors are alarm clocks, shrieks in the peaceful dark. When Opal closes their eyes to try and sleep, the alarms scream, Reminding them of that one small, painful incident ten years ago that everyone else forgot. Everyone but Opal. Sleep is an unaffordable luxury, the new Ferrari and caviar. An earthquake roars in the Hall. The mirrors shatter, and in so doing, Multiply. The Mirrors are louder than ever. It’s too loud to hear anything, Because Opal hears everything. In the avalanche of glass, Opal is surrounded by thousands of versions of themself staring at them. Gazing at their desolate, infuriated reflections, Opal wonders: Am I made up of nothing more than thousands of reflections?
Am I as intangible as the rays of light reflected by Mirrors?
Oh God
How do I outrun my own voice?
My own mind?
How do I escape
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22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION he year 2023 was supposed to be my year.
T
I’ve spent much of this year trying to cope with
It was far from that. However, this year
this newfound person who has been forced to
taught me a lot about relationships, includ-
learn and grow at a speed that most people would
ing friendships, and how important those are to a
find disturbing. The world doesn’t stop for anyone
healthy, well-rounded human being.
or anything. The only way to grow and learn is to
The year started out great. I was making friends
change perspective because it’s the only way out of
and was happy. It all came to a screeching halt. A
the current situation. Being stuck on past relation-
relationship fell apart, and I quickly threw myself
ships isn’t getting me where I want to be in life, so I
into other aspects of my life. I found an apartment
have no choice but to move past it and grow without
and had a good time packing, buying furniture, and
dwelling on those past circumstances. In the grand
figuring out everything that comes with an apart-
scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. Some relation-
ment. I spent as much time in the gym and doing
ships are temporary, and they teach things about
a sport I loved. I picked up more extracurriculars
yourself you wouldn’t know otherwise. For that part,
and spent even more time in the gym. I spent more
I’m grateful. I’m grateful that I learned to listen
time focusing on my schoolwork and more time
to my instincts more often rather than
rekindling old friendships. I even found time to find
ignoring them, to trust my friends
a puppy. It took me a while to find the perfect puppy. I went to a local shelter to adopt one, and none of the dogs fit me or my personality. They were either too big or not the right breed for me. Because I view getting a dog as a lifetime commitment, I decided to go to a breeder to pick out the perfect mini poodle puppy. I had a standard poodle when I lived with my parents, so I wanted a mini version as a little slice of home. I’ve done extensive research for this because dogs deserve the world. My ideal dog would be a golden or black mini poodle. I spent most of the year learning to trust myself again. Trust is hard to rebuild once it’s been broken, even when it’s the ability to trust yourself again. I’ve learned that it’s a long and painful process, especially when the world keeps on spinning. There’s no time to re-adjust to the new person that’s been created.
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more, and that I am worthy of being treated with respect.
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
WRITTEN BY MADELYNN DODDS ILLUSTRATION BY LEYNA NGUYEN
Healing from a
Broken
Relationship 13
22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION
UNTI T LED 14
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
WRITTEN BY HUY TRAN
I
ILLUSTRATION BY JASMINE TABOBO
am lost in a place that knows no name, no bound-
and accolades” and whatnot. And whenever I hear
pay attention or support me. So, I suppress all my
aries – no one. I don’t know where to go or what
them say that, I lose a sense of fulfillment in myself.
thoughts and feelings from everyone
will happen to me. Will I be this way forever?
These “victories” were never mine in the first place;
That is until I decided to contact my therapist
If you are a college student majoring in the Arts
they were for others. And sometimes, when my
for the first time. The thing was, my family and my
and feeling lost and worried about your future, let
“failures” show, like when I had terrible grades in
culture have conditioned me to repress my feelings
me assure you that you are not alone. My anxiety
my sophomore year of high school, or I couldn’t
as a form of strength, maturity, and masculinity. On
about my future has long since eaten my joy away
translate certain tax documents very well, several
top of that, I’ve been told that talking to a therapist
as I continue to live another day. While it brought
family members would often look disappointed, as
is not the right thing to do. I did it anyway.
me no physical injury, it has caused me a series of
if they thought I was better. In the most dramatic
When I first talked to my therapist, I laid out every-
emotional damage – some of which will take a long
way possible, they felt incredibly ashamed that I
thing about my life. It was awful and awkward at
while to recover.
had failed my family. They prayed and wished for
first, only because I wasn’t comfortable sharing
So many factors have made me anxious about
the old Huy, who was always this young prestigious,
my complete set of experiences yet. My ther-
what could happen to me in the future. One is that
gifted, and intelligent man. The thought of it makes
apist understood where I was coming from, and
I will be the first in my family to graduate college, so
me feel like I am fake and nonexistent, that I don’t
comforted me by saying it wasn’t my fault that I did
the mental toll and pressure my parents give me is
deserve to exist in this world.
not meet the expectations of others. Sometimes,
increasingly heavy. Two is I might not get the jobs I
But thinking about it now, I empathize with my
people see life as a race: get a job at 20, get married
feel good about after college. And three, and more
family because their past wasn’t as “normal” as the
by 30, et cetera. Seeing life this way is never the
importantly… my life is damn short.
present I have now. They didn’t grow up in a priv-
most fulfilling way to go. My therapist encourages
Reflecting on these things, I sometimes feel like
ileged position in society or a place of economic
me to take my time because my life is all that I have.
I’m an astronaut lost in space. Everything around
growth when they were young. My family wasn’t
I should own my life and, as cheesy as it may sound,
me is weightless – no sky, ground, or stability. It’s hard to condense this silent chaos into a few words. Nothing is certain, and nothing is determined. It’s all just blank.
savor every moment– no one who will take it away.
In every evolution, art is human first and foremost.”
And while this place is silent, the only loud noise
I took the words from my therapist and put them into practice. Since then, I have accepted my decisions and experiences, knowing that everything I do has some meaning. For example, I have decided to
is the looming thoughts chasing around my head.
just living – they were surviving for their lives. They
major in film. In the eyes of many parents who have
Some of the thoughts include: “Who will I be after
work extra hard for jobs that are so simple today –
immigrated to America, including mine, their child
college? Will I get a job that I feel comfortable
just to earn extra and be acclimated with the rest
majoring in the arts is one big part of an awful list of
working in? Will I find a community that genu-
of the upper society.
disappointments. My parents fear that if their child
inely supports me and my work? Will I maintain my
And history repeats even to this day. I often get
pursues an art career, they’ll feel unfulfilled with no
success as an artist? Will I ever get to know who I
called one of the most “hard-working” people in my
“financial stability.” In reality, that is not always the
really am? Will I ever be happy?”
field because I want to maintain my success and
case. There will always be opportunities to earn a
While I continue to find these answers for myself,
my composure. But deep down inside, I don’t know
livable wage while making art.
several of my friends and people I’ve known have
what I am doing. I have been flooded with internal
Even better, there are those out there willing
answered some of these questions for me. People
pressures to look “impressionable” and “better.”
to make the creative industry as sustainable and
who have seen my creative work know I am artistic
The weight of responsibility is killing me, but I keep
healthy as possible. Look at the strikes in the past
and have a creative mind. They were impressed with
telling myself to keep my ass going. And frankly
several months: creators and artists have called out
my work and told me I have potential and a future
speaking, this idea is toxic and shouldn’t be kept
executives and authorities that their work has value
because I have put in so much to my work. While
by myself.
and that they should be properly compensated and
these statements are boldly positive and larger
Like many first-generation immigrants and
respected. On top of that, they don’t want their work
than life, I’m unsure if they are all objectively true.
“hyphenated” people, I was met with a great deal
to be fed into machine learning in the interest of
As a child of immigrant parents and a person who
of expectations by people close to me that I must
creative executives. I’m sure that artists can agree
was deemed to be a “child prodigy,” my measure-
be successful. As an adult, I’m supposed to know
with this idea: In every evolution, art is human first
ment of success has long since been skewed and
everything – schools, finance, career, and the like.
and foremost. I’m glad I get to see artists fighting
overly exaggerated. My peers and family members
Because of that, I feel pressured and afraid. As
for a common goal because this gives me so much
would often tell me that I was “smart,” “talented,”
much as I want to dump out my concerns and fears,
hope for my future. I feel comfort in the community,
and “winning all of the time, with all of these A’s
I fear that anyone listening to me doesn’t actually
the unity, and that the people in all these circum-
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22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION stances care about each other.
also started to work with people with more experi-
But until then, I will continue to float in this
That is why it is good for me to find my commu-
ence in film production. When I worked with these
massive, foggy void and fear for what happens next
nity – one I feel comfortable and connected to –
people, they gave me not only creative inspiration
to me.
that whatever I do and create matters. It feels so
but also creative freedom. It’s rare for me to collab-
What will happen next? To be honest, I don’t
satisfying to surround myself with like-minded
orate with people who are willing to listen to my
know. And I don’t really have to know everything –
people and people who accept me for who I am,
ideas. Being in that space has brought me comfort,
that is the beauty of the human experience. Every
not only as a creator but also as a person. For a long
knowing that whatever content I make has value.
day is a surprise, and I get to learn new lessons.
time, I have been treated with contempt from other
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel trapped
There is always something nice to look forward to.
people for my work and who I am. They find me and
anymore; I finally felt I belonged. I didn’t get that
But while I am optimistic about the future, I still
my work to be “too much” or “too extra” and that I’ve
kind of appreciation and care before, and I would be
remain cautious. It is possible that there are people
overdone them. People often say that I am a show-
a different person had I not been surrounded by a
who would take advantage of my own work, whether
off and I try too hard to prove my artistic abilities to
group of good people.
it would be taking mine without giving it proper
them when, actually, I do this for myself. There are also people who devalue my art and intentions. The worst thing of all is that I feel people become friends with me only when I make art.
credit or feeding my content in machine learning. I saw a post a while ago where machine learning
when it will be the right time to move on.
can automatically edit a video and make it look like
Leaving a place of support is a difficult thing to
it’s well-produced. In a world where convenience
I’m grateful that I have gotten a lot of support
do, but it is always a respectable and mature one.
while sacrificing integrity becomes a standard
for my work during my time on campus. Before
This community has given me so many opportu-
around the world, giving credit and appreciation
coming here, I didn’t get that much support as a
nities to showcase my creative skills to so many
to artists is underrated and important to the high-
creative person. I have poured extra effort into my
people, and it has fostered a feeling of kinship
est degree. People have worked their entire body
creative projects, both personal and commissioned,
and connection in the knowledge that hard work
and soul to create works that scream loudly: “This
because I want to get my work noticed by a lot of
shouldn’t go unnoticed. This kind of community is
is human, this is me, I made this, this exists, and I
people, including potential employers. For a long
hope that you recognize them.” Disappointingly,
support STEM more so than the Arts because offi-
“Every day is a surprise, and I get to learn new lessons.”
cials believe that it is not only good for the student’s
meant to be supportive and positive, and I wish to
graphic designers, motion graphic designers, 3D/
financial and overall well-being, but it’s also bene-
stay that way. Of course, any kind of hub or commu-
VFX artists, and so many more. This, and being
ficial to the national economy. Art is merely an
nity comes with underlying issues and flaws that are
overworked but underpaid, is the root of complete
afterthought to them. The art scene where I lived
well beyond remedying. To be trustworthy, everyone
burnout and artists quitting the creative industry.
was hidden from sight, and the kinds of art that I
who mainly handles this community, would have
This effect is the worst thing that so many great
saw around my community were frankly unoriginal
to confront these problems head-on while being
artists, especially the most talented and hard-work-
and over-copied – the spirit of art and art-making
open and transparent about them. These values are
ing ones, commonly experience to this day. I wish
is barely non-existent. I only found good art and
undervalued in our society and should be practiced
that there was some way that people treat artists
support in my local community through my friends
rigorously and discussed frequently. I have seen
with a high level of respect and understanding. They
and classmates. Not only have they made amaz-
so many times where communities that were once
are precious, and, in my opinion, they are the last
ing artwork, but they have also supported me as
thriving and supportive are later becoming hostile
bastions of humanity. They saved the hearts of so
an artist. The problem at the time was that I felt
and corrupt because people prefer to brush off
many people and made their lives more bearable
uncomfortable sharing my flaws and weaknesses
certain things that are directly their responsibility
because of their creations, and I hope that people
with my peers. Because of that, I felt trapped in a
and move on. As an artist and a person, these are
can acknowledge that.
place that was supposed to be my “comfort zone.”
the kinds of communities that I don’t want to be
As for me, I hope that one day I get to find a light
I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere.
a part of. To foster a healthy and genuinely posi-
in the darkness – a place that I feel belong to, where
time, I was living in a place where art is always looked down upon. My schools have often emphasize and
16
But time will go on and these good people will come and go. At some point, in my heart, I will know
we haven’t reached the point where people, including commissioners, properly recognize, credit, and support artists – not just illustrators but also
Things began to change when I first stepped
tive community means that core members would
I am free to tell my stories and create something
onto this campus as a Film major and stumbled
need to acknowledge and address the underlying
surprising. The catch is that I’ll have to make an
across a special hub of creative people. From the
problems and communicate and find ways to solve
effort to find one, so it will be difficult and take a
beginning, I was welcomed into this massive and
them while being respectful of one another. There
long while. What is certain is this: wherever I go,
engaging community with open arms. I was assured
are not a lot of decent and honest art communities
whatever happens next, I will find my own answers
that this “hub” was made to be a place of support
(yet), and finding them is going to require a lot of
and my own place in this strange and compli-
for artists like me. In this place, I have met several
work even after I graduate, but it will save me and
cated existence, and it will be worth filling in the
people with similar interests and vibes as I do, and I
my sanity in the long run.
missing blank.
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
17
22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION
I “You end up realizing you get a lot more out of the present when you aren’t constantly worrying about the future or the past.”
18
still remember going to kindergarten. I remember
thought I was the only one a little scared to grad-
the small classroom with the letters of the alpha-
uate, but I find that there are many others who
bet stretching above the chalkboard. I remember
feel this way too. Such a big shift in your life, even
the small round tables where we did arts and crafts
when positive, is terrifying, especially when you find
and the playground right outside with the sand-
comfort in the same routine you’ve been doing for
box and a slide. I remember playing hopscotch and
years, even if sometimes it drives you crazy.
handball and playing heads up seven up on rainy
Growing up is very strange, and I still don’t under-
days. It is a very distant memory that you have to
stand it, yet it’s happening, and I’m doing it. I went
reach into the back of your mind to get, but it’s still
from doing arts and crafts in preschool to doing full-
sitting there after all those years somehow. Now,
blown business projects with legitimate compa-
here I am sitting on my university campus, where I
nies; even with so many years in between, the slow
hear the same chitter chatter of groups of students
shift is painful but exciting. It’s like not wanting to
going by that I’ve always heard, but definitely less
leave the warm comfort of your bed in the morning,
screaming since there’s no playground and we’re
even though you are excited for your day. Don’t get
“grown-ups.” I’ve been to preschool, kindergarten,
me wrong, there are many positives to growing up
elementary school, middle school, high school,
as well, but as most of you reading this may know,
community college, and now university, with one
childhood is something we still daydream about.
semester left until my entire school career ends. I
The innocence and lack of responsibility before the
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
REFLECTIONS OF A
soon-to-be
College
Graduate
WRITTEN BY JESSICA SUTTER ILLUSTRATION BY ANNILEE RUSSELL
pushing questions of “What do you want to be when
enjoyable. A lot of the social pressures we now real-
ber writing on my great grandma’s typewriter as a
you grow up?” were bestowed upon you. What did
ize were silly are gone; some people still act the
little kid, and now here I am, almost 23, and writ-
you like to do before those pressures were thrown
same, but I don’t care anymore. I don’t care anymore
ing on a brand new laptop on my college campus.
on you? I think even as adults, it’s important for us
about these small things, but I also treat everything
When you’re a kid, you idealize these moments, and
to get in touch with that part of ourselves; to redis-
with so much more care than before.
when you’re there you enjoy it but are very anxious
cover what made us happiest in our most careless
As most Long Beach Unified School District
about the future. You end up realizing you get a lot
and innocent times, and never let that go as you
students do, I took a field trip here when I was in
more out of the present when you aren’t constantly
grow up, even when your responsibilities increase.
4th or 5th grade; I remember the school provided
worrying about the future or the past.
So many things change in all of the years that
lunches with cookies so rock hard a student threw
These are the times I used to dream about as a
you are in school. It used to be terrifying having no
them at a brick wall, and it didn’t break. Luckily now
kid, and these are now the memories I will daydream
one to eat lunch with or play with at recess, but now
I’m on a giant campus with multiple restaurants
about when I’m older. As I’ve grown older, my grati-
I’m not at all afraid to eat lunch by myself on the
instead of one small cafeteria of frozen food. The
tude has grown more and more. I know now that we
lawn under the trees; in fact I find so much peace
school seemed so big and endless, and now I’m here
are all always close to death, and when you remem-
in it. I used to dread going to school once it wasn’t
as an adult and it feels much smaller. Although, the
ber that, every moment alive is beautiful. I’m grate-
just arts and crafts anymore; I would pretend to
world feels much, much bigger.
ful for all the times I’ve been able to dodge death,
be sick so that I could stay home, but now that I’m
You always idolize graduating all those years
and everyone else should be, too. Don’t be scared
done with all those terrible math classes, and I’m
you’re in school, but when you get to that point, you
for the future; be grateful, and excited you’ve been
just learning things that I find interesting, it’s more
start having scary new feelings about it. I remem-
given the opportunity to experience it.
19
22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION
(don’t)
Recognize. WRITTEN BY ALANA LOINAZ & CHAD DUPRE ILLUSTRATION BY ALLISON RAFTERS
20
Y
ou don’t look as good as you used to. Your body has changed; your hips are wider, your arms look rounder, and your face is
fluffier. You don’t look as good as you used to. Your mind has changed; your thoughts are blurrier, your decisions seem irrational, and your interests are off. You don’t look as good as you used to. Your soul has changed; your energy is dark, your aura seems twisted, and your sparkle is sparkless. You don’t look as good as you used to. I look at old photos and don’t recognize myself, but I keep striving to be that same person again:
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07 the girl I don’t recognize. She had been through a
Enthusiasm, scared to face the world? Or is it
lot less but still quite too much for her age. She
better to truck through life like some down-and-
promised she wouldn’t let herself go, and I’m
out jerk, angry at the world, so you decide to take
pretty sure she didn’t. I was the one who acciden-
it out on someone you see as lesser? Both of these
tally let go of her hand, and she got lost along the
options are horribly unproductive, and frankly,
way. She recognizes herself as something she built
you’re an asshole for doing either one. As some-
with her bare hands, even though she hasn’t met
one who has made the mistake of being the first
me: her incredibly flawed handmade product that
guy, you realize you are just as self-aware as the
she will never receive recognition for. I’m certain
other jerk I mentioned. There is a balance to be
she was nothing more than the first stage of a
found here; the ability to constructively self-re-
personality trial. The girl I don’t recognize has been
flect on specific moments in your life, past or pres-
lost for a bit, and I will make sure she never finds
ent, allows you to grow as an individual.
her way “home.”
“There is a balance to be found here; the ability to constructively self-reflect on specific moments in your life, past or present, allows you to grow as an individual.”
This does in fact seem like the entire purpose
But what is home anyway? Is it the place you
of life. Experiencing that terrifying fall into dark-
go when you need to stuff your face with choco-
ness, slipping deeper into your self-torture, is an
late or your most self-aware state of mind? I can’t
experience that forces you to adapt. That ruthless
really give you a concrete answer, otherwise I’d
return to the present world is the ultimate triumph
be a terrible writer. I’m supposed to force you to
from these moments—dragging yourself out from
look at yourself no matter how painful it may be.
that pit of horror like some badass from Apoca-
Hey, don’t hate me. Hate whoever decided that
lypse Now. These moments truly do change you,
self-reflection is important for every human being
but it is up to you as to how this change occurs.
– because it soooo fucking is.
This is one of the toughest moments, but taking
If you are trying to distract yourself from
the time to gather the courage and place your-
something, it is because you should be healing
self back to that moment can help you gain a crit-
from it. When you choose to forgive those who
ical understanding of why and how. Neglecting
hurt you, you choose to forgive yourself – espe-
this period of reflection leads you toward that
cially if you are the reason for your inner injuries.
self-loathing asshole I mentioned earlier—no one
If you’ve gotten this far into this reading—340
wants to be that person. Finding that inspiration
words in—you could probably take 340 more
in your stomach to throw yourself back in the fire
steps into creating a better today. Not tomorrow,
shapes your ability to deal with adversity—to give
not yesterday… today. It’s the only way you will get
any second of self-doubt or pain the middle finger
better from whatever you’ve been dealing with,
and keep moving.
whether or not that has to do with your old and unrecognizable self.
The changes that occur during these moments are exactly what make you human. Your individ-
Don’t tell me you haven’t been dealing with
uality is illuminated by the grit it takes to push
something. You absolutely have. Whether it is
further. Handling these lows makes you wiser—
something happy, sad, terrifying, traumatizing,
you are renewed with a larger capacity for empa-
exciting, or neutral, it is something. Something
thy. There is no real reason for you to make this
worth reflecting on, something worth working
circus act we perform all the more difficult for the
on, something worth your full attention, your full
person across from you. Why not complement the
effort. If you don’t recognize what it is, try harder. I
student practicing their speech on campus? Why
can guarantee you it is there. The girl I don’t recog-
can you not tell someone their fit is absolutely
nize is my thing; she messes with my head all the
killing it today? In a time filled with anxiety-driven
time. I miss her. I hate her, but I am letting her heal
action where overthinking each individual step
from whatever made her feel so dark and twisty.
you take is a common practice, there is a need for
What are you doing for the person you don’t know
warm kindness. Every single person is living inside
and the one you do recognize?
their head—be kinder to yourself, and smile at each
Is it better to self-reflect to the point of crip-
other. There is no moment to waste here, so why
pling yourself—hermit-crabbing away in your
fill the air with negative nonsense that gets us
room, binge-watching Friends and Curb Your
nowhere?
21
22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION
REVEAL , RESPOND, REFLECT WRITTEN BY AMIRA MUTHALIP
▲ CSULB STUDENTS RALLY IN SUPPORT OF PALESTINIAN INDEPENDENCE, OCTOBER 25 PHOTO PROVIDED BY 22 WEST MEDIA
22
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
“Matters like these don’t only take place in the Middle East; the results of poverty, inequality, and war are faced all around the world, and each of them deserves a voice.”
REVEAL: In the years 1936 to 1939, the British began its
media companies in the West tend to air news from
colonialism of Palestine and mass immigration of
Israeli land, disconnecting the world from seeing
European Jews. When the Palestinians launched
the suffrage of the Palestinian people. Millions
a general strike of withholding tax payments and
of people across the world gather in protests
boycotting against Jewish products, they were
and rallies to speak out against the injustice on
brutally repressed by the British who launched
the Palestinians, as well as on the hypocritical
arrest campaigns and carried out home demoli-
governments who support and fund the genocide
tions, a practice that Israel continues to implement
of a population. Participating in protests, rallies,
against Palestinians to this day.
boycotts, etc. are all routes to raising awareness of
In 1947, the Israel state was established through
the silenced voices of the Palestinian people and
the Partition Plan, adopted by the United Nations.
making humanity open its eyes, ears, and arms to
In the process of dividing the land of Palestine
each other.
into Jewish and Arab states, 750,000 Palestinian
A university student expresses where she gets
natives were displaced and forced to relocate to
the strength to talk about the Palestinian people.
other regions and even neighboring countries never
She says, “The Palestinian people itself inspire and
able to return to their home soil again. This ethnic
motivate me to have faith and be selfless. Hearing
cleansing of the Palestinian people is known as
them proclaim their trust in God reminds me to stay
Nakba, catastrophe. The years following Nakba led
persistent in my prayers and increase my voice in
to an increase of Jewish settlers, reducing Palestin-
protests and rallies!”.
ian land to the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, both under Israeli military occupation. For years to come,
REFLECT:
Palestinians fought back the Israelis in movements
This is not just a fight for Palestinians around the
known as the Intifada, the Palestinian uprising.
world, rather it’s one for Muslims who see their
When looking at Palestinian resistance versus
brothers’ and sisters’ steadfast faith despite facing
Israeli constant attacks, I think a clear nefariousness
the biggest hardships. It’s for the Arabs who watch
is seen from the Israelis as they continue to assert
their neighboring nation in shambles and flames,
their dominance on land that they have no right
Americans who witness their government funding
over. To this day, Israel continues to launch military
such wickedness, and humanity whose eyes cant
assaults on Palestinian people, yet it is only when
bear to see anymore of the pain and torture of the
Hamas, a political group from Palestine, retaliates
people of Palestine. Trauma from occupation and
strongly enough, that the whole world finally opens
displacement has been the reality of the Pales-
its eyes to see the catastrophes of Israel’s uneth-
tinians for years now, and speaking out for them
ical occupation of Palestinian, more commonly
should not feel like a burden.
depicted as the Israel-Palestine “conflict”.
We must learn from the selfless, brave, and true doctors, nurses, journalists in Palestine, to put
RESPOND:
humanity first, resisting and sacrificing the comfort
No one can condemn any side for taking away the
of our lives for someone else’s. Matters like these
innocent lives of children, men, women, hospital
don’t only take place in the Middle East; the results
workers, etc. however, the reason and extent to
of poverty, inequality, and war are faced all around
which each of them is going should be observed.
the world, and each of them deserves a voice. While
After the Hamas attack, the retaliation from Israel
it is rewarding to see a change for one cause, we
has been non-stop under the guise of “defending”
mustn’t forget about all the others. We must view
themselves. Food, electricity, and fuel cuts, demol-
each of these causes as our own and continue to
ishing of hospitals and homes through airstrikes,
ignite the fires in our hearts to demand for every
and forceful evacuation of the people are all attacks
child, mother, father, and individual to live a life
of the Israeli government on the Palestinians. Big
they deserve.
23
22 WEST MAGAZINE OPINION
WILL
WE EVER
WIN? A REFLECTION ON MODERN AI 24
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
WRITTEN BY JESSICA WELLS
ILLUSTRATED BY ABIHAIL ORTEGA
A
s far back in my memory as I’m able to
I remember it being a news story with people on
to hear Trisha Paytas sing “Despacito,” you’ll be in
visit, I remember times when I wanted to
Reddit making President Obama say what they
luck–it’s probably out there. Better yet, you can
be an artist. I didn’t know how to or in what
wanted, and the world collectively seemed to think
make it.
capacity; I just knew I was building up into the life of
it was suspiciously scary, yet we moved on and
While it all seems to be well and fun for now,
a creative. So, I played around with every form of art
turned a blind eye. I remember when ChatGpt came
it doesn’t seem like a battle we, as artists, will be
I could get my hands on to stretch my imagination
out hardly a year ago, and now operating as a full-
winning. Traditional artists have been crying for
to its fullest extent.
time writer and full-time threat. It’s even common-
help since the rise of text-to-image sites. The like-
Even though I couldn’t hold a tune or memorize
place here on campus, still as an infant. In February
lihood of artists being commissioned is decreasing,
a two-step, I wanted to be like the stars I saw on
this year, Snapchat released a MyAI feature, allow-
and the percentage of people conning as “artists”
Disney Channel. I wanted to sing, dance, and sit in
ing users to make a “bitmoji” and text a computer
has been increasing. It’s already been seen with
those fancy chairs that would have my name on
like a friend. On Sept. 27, Meta AI unveiled “Billie,”
the long-running voice actress of Daphne in Scoo-
the back.
an AI girl just like an older sister who can talk and
by-Doo, Grey DeLisle, being charged $650 for
While I never had a talent for drawing, I liked
text anytime, (blinking face in the corner of the
an AI-generated print of her character, originally
painting. I’ve never understood lines, shapes, or the
screen at all times included) as a feature on Insta-
meant to be sold to fans after being autographed,
human form no matter how often I had it broken
gram. Not to mention that “Billie” has the rights to
but scrapped the image after being alerted that
down into baby steps and explained to me. But that
Kendall Jenner’s likeness in full, voice included. Oh,
she was scammed. Even if that is the case, it’s just
didn’t stop me from taking a couple of years of art in high school just to try it out. Failure was a part of the process, and in that failure, I figured out I liked painting. I wasn’t near the best or even talented. Instead, I found my place in encouraging classmates. That was all right; it made them special, and it inspired a stronger work ethic. When I was old enough, I was able to try my hand at theater. Again, not my strong suit, but I found joy in trying and failing and in watching those around me succeed and find a place. I also found rapture
a small corner of the internet. Sure, AI art has yet
“But in this life I find myself grasping at any art form, just in any way I can prove I exist and express my humanity.”
in knowing there was something else out there.
to breach the mainstream? Of course, it has, as many have pointed out, the usage of AI in the Loki season two poster, but Disney has stayed silent on the matter. But that is to be expected of one of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers companies that were willing to explore AI before the strikes from WGA and SAG this year. But, of course, things are not that easy. While the writers got a fair deal, many of the actors are still in distress. While all their requests were met, there was one they had to meet in the middle regarding
I finally found my place in my Junior-year
but it’s not just “Billie,” there’s also “Bru,” with Tom
the usage of “digital doubles.” These allow for the
creative writing class, where I was able to develop
Brady’s likeness, and “Dungeon Master,” with Snoop
studio to change the hair, makeup, and even as far
my love for writing. While it was not as flashy as the
Dogg’s likeness. While these people are consenting
as physical placement in a scene. If a background
others, it was something, and it was mine.
and being paid millions as compensation, only the
actor’s “digital double” is given a line or two and
future will tell if the money is worth it.
earns themself a speaking role, they will be fairly
Maybe in another life, I could have been drawn to nursing or have a passion for studying the law.
However, despite the people at the top being the
compensated, though they will have none of the
Maybe in that life, math and science could’ve been
ones paid off here, that’s not stopping the technol-
experience and none of the reward for having been
my crutch, and I could’ve pursued engineering. But
ogy from being easily accessible to those not willing
the one to have done the scene.
in this life I find myself grasping at any art form,
to cough up the proper payment.
When it comes down to it, this usage of AI will
just in any way I can prove I exist and express my
The music industry is seeing a similar issue, with
be part of a race to be the first to discover the next
humanity. These forms of art prove we’re alive,
the Universal Music Group suing TikTok creators
bigger and better thing. It’s a chase for the imme-
and that showcases how artists can connect to
for creating a song with Drake and The Weekend’s
diate satisfaction of being able to say: “It was me; I
everyone in a way that transcends the art they put
voices, of course, without consent. If you find your-
did it.” As artists, but most importantly as humans,
forward. It proves we are human.
self scrolling through social media long enough, you
someone has to get hurt in the process. Someone’s
With the rise of modern technology, I feel as if
could find AI-generated versions of album covers,
worth needs to come into question as we ponder if
we’re experiencing technological singularity, not
either expanding on the previous cover or creating
it is all truly worth it. But who am I to talk? I bet the
fully aware of how this path will affect artists a
a whole new fake album. And while you’re at it, you
computer could tell you something more profound.
few years from now. I remember my first alarm-
can find an artist of your choice singing any of your
Its feelings won’t be hurt by it, like mine. That’s what
ing encounter with AI through “deep fakes” in 2017.
favorite songs now. If you ever thought you wanted
makes it better, right?
25
22 WEST MAGAZINE STUDENT LIFE
Que Buen Año Entre
Las Hermanas Unidas
WRITTEN BY ISABELLA SIQUEIRA
W
ithin the Hispanic and Latinx commu-
social services.” The organization strives to provide
at Long Beach State as she had been “scared of
nities, there have been advancements
a safe and educational environment for those of the
not fitting in with the right people.” For her, HAU
and achievements within the past year.
Latinx community.
has helped her find her place and has allowed her
From Bad Bunny receiving the title of “Artist of
Out of HAU’s board members stands Nadia
to connect with others who are like her. Being a
the Year” by Apple Music to twenty-five-year-old
Gonzalez, one of the co-chairs. Since she has been
first-generation Latina herself, Nadia has realized
Afro-Cuban Maxwell Frost becoming the first to
a part of HAU for some time now, she has been
the importance of “reaching out” to the Latinx
represent Gen Z in Congress, the Latinx commu-
able to reflect on the progress the organization has
community, as being involved with her cultural side
nity has much to celebrate this year. While these are
made this past year. She says that this year specif-
has made her feel “more confident and safer.”
broader and even international examples, the Latinx
ically, it felt as if the club began to grow rapidly as it
community has also flourished here on campus.
has “given a sense of home to so many students.”
Among the several student-led clubs and orga-
For several students, especially those who come
nizations here at LBSU, Hermanas Unidas (HAU) is
from different backgrounds and speak other
one of the few that focus on the Latinx community.
languages, it is often hard to find a place where they
Hermanas Unidas is a non-profit organization that
can relate to others and be their authentic selves.
[revolves] around four pillars: “community, wellness,
Fortunately, HAU has allowed many Latinx students
academic and
to find their place on campus. For this reason, Nadia
Next semester, Nadia intends to introduce
“Fortunately, HAU has allowed many Latinx students to find their place on campus.”
and her fellow co-chair have two main goals for the upcoming year: “to create a welcoming space… [and] to have many returners each meeting.”
“shadowing a steering position.” She defines this as
They hope to achieve these two goals in
a way members will be able to “shadow,” or see, how
order for members to bond closely with
each club officer “performs their tasks.” In doing
one another. Currently, Nadia says
this, Nadia hopes that those who are interested
the club participates in icebreakers
in becoming an officer can understand the differ-
and other activities to help encour-
ent roles among board members to help decide
age participation among members
which role would suit them best and to get an idea
and to help provide a fun break from
of how the club functions “behind the scenes.” She
their studies.
looks forward to making new friends with those in
While she, her co-chair, and
the club and HAU’s annual state conference, where
other officers oversee creating a space
members can network with other HAU chapters in
for Latinx individuals to learn and grow,
the state. The club is active on Instagram, where
Nadia has learned a lot about herself [since
they post updates and meeting information. The
she started running the club]. She says that at
HAU chapter here at LBSU awaits more members
first, it was difficult for her to find her place here
26
and participation next year.
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
▲ HAU CLUB MEMBERS COMPLETE A SERVICE ACTIVITY, PHOTO BY NADIA GONZALEZ ◄ PHOTO BY ISABELLA SIQUEIRA
27
22 WEST MAGAZINE STUDENT LIFE
WRITTEN BY ERIC CEJA RUIZ ILLUSTRATION BY SERENA LOGAN 28
BOUNCE WITH
SOUND
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
S
ounds that bounce with the touch of a
times when power was lacking. It adapted when it
button vibrate through the air, into our
needed to, and it inspired new individual creativity.
ears, and out into our hearts. Feeding our
The rhythm and the flow of beats impacted
anticipation as our heart syncs with the 808 beats.
my life. Still, it also is infused into the media we
Art engineered down to the last thump, creating a
consume every day. In the modern day of stream-
poetic pattern that brings comfort or power. Music
ing, it is super easy for individuals to access all
engulfs its subject, allowing for the creation of indi-
types of music. Music that plays as the main char-
viduals, memories, and communities. Music is like
acter in a movie is off to start their journey, or the
the waves of sound that travel through the air and
sad music composed to make a river of tears flow
into our hearts. It’s beautiful to see the way it adapts
down our cheeks. Music that plays as we go shop
depending on its creator; it weaves together Lana
or cultural music that plays as we go eat at our
Del Rey’s unforgettable glamour, Brockhampton’s
favorite restaurants. Social media platforms like
ruminating rhymes, Bad Bunny’s rhythmic Latin
TikTok allow artists of all genres and all experiences
flow, Stray Kids’ captivating beats to the thundering
to share their musical art for a chance to be seen
riffs of Metallica, adapting to the heartfelt storytell-
by the world. I can only speak for myself, but I am
ing of Morgan Wallen, the gut-wrenching ballads of
confident that music is a gift that lives on through
Adele, the dreamy sounds of Tame Impala, the raw
history even when its creator has passed. It is a gift
authenticity of Girl in Red, and the boundary-push-
and a legacy that lives on and is appreciated by new
ing creativity of Kendrick Lamar. Music is a gift that
generations of individuals hungry for art to fill their
keeps us human.
little hearts’ desires.
I write this article from the southwest terrace
Though the year is ending, it is still a perfect
at the University Student Union as the Musicians’
opportunity to enjoy new music and appreciate the
Club prepares to perform their first performance
art that comes through the many different genres.
of the semester. Musicians stand to the right of
Scan the code to hear what CSULB students have
the stage, excited for their turn to show the world
been listening to this year. Curated through a
their art and passion. Each expresses themselves
campus-wide survey.
“Music engulfs its subject, allowing for the creation of individuals, memories, and communities.”
in their own style accompanied by their instrument of choice. In just minutes, their notes will begin to dance through the air and bring smiles to those sitting around. It is inspiring to watch individuals with such passion gather. As the year ends, individuals are presented with their Spotify Wrapped or Apple Music Replay, which reviews its user’s listening metrics. With over 700 hours of music play time in 2023, it is a perfect time to reflect on the importance and ways music has impacted me. This year has gone by faster than I could have imagined. Still, it has also been a significant year where I got introduced to countless genre-bending musicians. I learned how to appreciate different forms of music and the poetic beats and lyrics that come along. Amid school, work, and social chaos, music kept me afloat this year, and I
SPOTIFY
owe it to the fact that many of my favorite artists released new music. Music allowed me to create new memories through the cold winter, into the sunny spring days, through the hot summer nights, and back into the fall semester as 2023 comes to an end. Music has brought comfort in times of uncertainty and made me feel more powerful in
29
22 WEST MAGAZINE STUDENT LIFE andy, my black lab, never minded how long
C
Around the time when the coronavirus pandemic
doghouse. It was my sister who had noticed that
it had been since she’d seen my face. She
began, we adopted a puppy from my uncle. Yoshi
her behavior was odd. Eventually, Candy became
would sniff my legs and feet, nudging into
was like a smaller version of Candy, with longer and
completely limp.
me, before I briskly entered my home, escaping
fluffier hair and without the white toes. At first he
A dark silhouette seemed to always be in the
from the discomfort of an overly excited dog. She
was nervous and shaky. Yoshi was meant to calm
corner of my eye. During that year of strange occur-
had the typical frame of a lab but remained heavy,
down the tension of loss and stress due to the
rences, I feared it in the pitch-black corner of the
having a large belly and a tail that felt like steel when
pandemic and was my mother’s idea for additional
living room and the dark shapes of strangers walk-
it smacked against me. I adored the white hair worn
company (in our already cramped home) for both
ing at night, who were too far away to detail. I swore
on her chest, giving off a pride or uniqueness–her
our family and Candy. It was a funny thing, mostly
it lurked in the back seat when I wasn’t looking and
toes were also white. Candy was really optimistic,
because this was spontaneous, but also because
followed my siblings when they coughed too loud.
being old and nearly blind yet still wagging her tail
Yoshi seemed to annoy the hell out of Candy. It was
I swear I could hear it swipe and claw whenever I
and begging for affection.
when Yoshi was growing up that I heard Candy’s
heard my sister scream or my brother yell out in
The way our relationship worked was usually
first noises of discontent. Yoshi loved to get in her
pain because of a stubbed toe. I was always glad
through physical language. When I’d slide the
way, bite her, and jump at her. Candy didn’t mind
that it was a stubbed toe.
rattling, cage-like fence gate open to let myself
stepping right on his face when she walked down
into the front yard, it would alarm every dog on the
the hall.
damn street and bring her forth. Sometimes, when
Yoshi was likely the only reason she was ever
up when it was lunch time. I binge-watched series
I would feel complicated or simply guilty, I’d give her
allowed to be inside the house. About a year after
and movies. I attempted to intimidate the world by
a moment, just a moment of my attention. We’d give
Yoshi was introduced, my family decided to adopt
showing that it couldn’t hurt me anymore—because
each other looks, sometimes serious and some-
two more dogs to keep him company. During this
I was hurting myself. The only good thing that came
times awkward, telling each other about our state of mind. She tended to be some kind of lonely, and so was I. But why did I deserve my loneliness, when she was the one locked in a small space during the day, only able to come out at night to whine? That question always came up when I saw those glossy eyes
out of these weeks was going to the cinema after
“Candy knew everything; Candy understood the world in a way I couldn’t.”
purchasing a subscription. “A-list membership at AMC for 24.99 a month!” was an attractive offer. I went every week, making the theater and the mall my respite. Long movies and quiet moments after closing credits allowed for deep conversations
of hers, so fucked up that they began to fill with
inside my head. I thought about simple, non-com-
milk. I couldn’t tell if she teared up due to emotion
plicated ways of looking at everything, including
or blindness.
time, the house became “enthusiastic,” with many
how Candy may have seen the world. I thought
Other, more intimate moments we shared were
things happening all at once. My younger brother
about wise advice that no one would ever give
on the two steps of our backdoor. Whether it was
Robert and I started classes, my mother and sister
me, except when their voices appear in my head,
when my love interest rejected me, I had trouble in
visited Mexico, and my oldest brother’s wife was
stolen from reality. I thought about the smooth
school, I felt confused about my future, my best
pregnant. Most mornings during this time, Robert
coat of Candy’s hair, her cute soft ears and how
friend suffered suicidal ideation… She never failed
and I were awoken by the excited steps and licks
jolly she was.
to nuzzle me and lick my limbs as I sat upon those
of two or three dogs invading our room. Yoshi had
There was this one moment I couldn’t forget. The
steps, quiet and understanding as a dear friend.
become the leader of the three runts at this point,
memory came back to me from several years ago
Candy knew everything; Candy understood the
being followed by the white-haired Toby and the
when I lived in the suburbs. I told my mother, as a
world in a way I couldn’t. I projected all the emotions
black-haired, white-footed Estrella. The three
stupid kid, that I was afraid of the dark and there was
during my nights with Candy, staring into stars as if
disasters always left presents for us during the
danger in the dark. She told me that I shouldn’t fear
they represented my experiences in a neat, cosmic
night and when we woke up, we had to clean up the
anything because God was in my heart, keeping me
scale. It was all about me.
mess in the living room.
company. I tried to apply her advice but this only
When I’d finished my moments of vain, I had no
30
It was like this for a while, until the last few weeks of the semester. I slept in the morning and woke
Even then, I had too much time to think.
seemed to accomplish foolish courage. I realized
qualms about closing the steel security door behind
Candy died a few months after we adopted Yoshi.
later on that the shadows themselves were my
me as I walked back into the house, rejecting that
I never saw her die, I was only told that she had died.
company, whether I liked it or not. It wanted what
dog with the door’s rattles. Candy would reside
I had one opportunity to see her body and I decided
I had; when it took something, it gave something
anyway in her doghouse, even as it wasn’t locked
not to, but my family crowded around to see her.
back. I get that same feeling when I look into the
or closed. She’d whine sometimes, bothering my
They told me that she was acting irritable on the
dark and glossy eyes of the three small dogs, as if
sleep. I wondered why she would do that even at her
morning of her death. She would only lie inside her
they were birthed from the same stuff as Candy’s
old age. She should’ve learned by now the futility of
doghouse. My dad left soon after to get to work, and
milky white eyes. They are pitch-black—and I can
whining to masters.
everyone else slept while she ceased, resting in the
see myself through them.
REFLECTION ISSUE 89.07
My Encounter with the
Invisible Follower
WRITTEN BY ALBERTO JUAREZ ILLUSTRATION BY GERRICKA DACPANO
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