Issue
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NOURISHMENT
“Nourish beginnings, let us nourish beginnings. Not all things are blest, but the seeds of all things are blest. The blessing is in the seed.� Muriel Rukeyser
contributors
jongmee kim cover annie seo p4 caleb morris p5 jason melton p6-9 kim guare p10 2
jongmee.com annieseo.com @fannieseo
calebmorris.net
@heycalebmorris
meaningfulsports.com @captainjmoses
kimguare.com
@kimguare
January 2014
IN HONOR OF THE NEW YEAR, I’ve gathered some of my favorite artists together to celebrate ‘Nourishment’, The beauty of sustaining life and rebirth throughout time. It’s no wonder that food brings us together, and that knowledge creates a bond between us. Keeping the human machine going is possibly as beautiful as creating it, because it has to be maintained and nurtured. Hopefully we can grow with some help from our environment and our neighbors. I think I can speak for all of the contributors by saying that this topic was a vtery exciting one to explore. I’m constantly impressed by the quality of the work, and I’m truly proud of this issue. Enjoy. Jacob Sanders
jacob sanders jacobsandersart.com @jacobsandersart p11 savannah macintosh savannahmacintosh.com @savannahbigmac 12 jacob martin jakemartinart.com @jacobmartinart p13 eli renaud mylifewithtits.wordpress.com p14-22
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Caleb Morris
NOURISHMENT IS ONE of the only two things humans need to persist—the other thing is shelter. Hello? Not sex. Hellooo? Not Lil Wayne Pandora. Hellooooo? Not magick. O. The Knight of Swords (Reversed)
She asked me if I read her the letter because I was having bad thoughts. I was not. At Township, I did a tired 8 minutes of standup comedy and drank a small plastic bottle of whiskey in the bathroom.
The Knight of Swords represents determination—victory by any means necessary. However, in its reversed position, it stands for futility. It’s like sinking in a well. Like being very low in a well and then sinking even lower. That’s how it is to sink in a well, I guess. I walk to a bar called Township on California and Milwaukee. It’s near Christmas. While walking, my exposed hand dries out and freezes because I am talking on the phone with my mom. The day before, I read her a letter of gratitude into a microphone at a show. I stood in front of her and an audience of forty to report her powers and describe her kindness. And I talked about how she held my hand when I woke up in the hospital. She held my hand for 23 hours--the most amount of hours you can be held in a hospital before it becomes a full day.
O. The Eight of Wands
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Wands represent inspiration, and the number eight represents a stage in a cycle of ten. Thus, the Eight of Wands is toward the end of a cycle of inspiration and creativity. Mental energy has been spilled on the matter around you, and the highest pitch is a noise coming from around the corner. I am not hungry, and I have an apartment. I am nourished and sheltered. Who knows? Maybe we should change the meaning of the word “nourishment.” We’ll have it mean something else. Instead, we’ll have it mean “when you stop feeling like you are full of mold.” Maybe I should just change the meaning of the word “nourishment” for myself, and everyone else will be confused when I speak in a
a new language with similar words. Language is not nourishment or shelter. I will persist, and persisting is important. O. The Knight of Cups The Knight of Cups represents a person in your life. One that cares about you and is loving. The feeling of hands on your shoulders. From Township, I set a course for Mike’s house. I set a course to drink cheap beer and make fun of a TV shows Like that show with a man who has an anger vein in his neck. He yells at bar owners to help them or something. That show is easy to make fun of. My stomach starts hurting on the way. I am not hungry, and it is very cold. It was so cold that when I woke up the next day, my muscles ached from tensing my body and shivering. O. The Three of Swords Uh oh. The Three of Swords represents heartache. That person-shaped divot in your bed will only last one more day. That t-shirt that they left on your floor will stop smelling like them. Alligators have sex. I wonder if that means alligators get lonely. Isn’t loneliness somehow connected to sex? My stomach hurts bad. As I walk, I calculate the nearest bathroom. Maybe a bar on Milwaukee. I can’t remember what the bar
is called. It becomes clear that the bar I can’t remember is not on this stretch of Milwaukee. Maybe the bar that I can’t remember is somewhere else. Ah, somewhere else. The Belly Shack. My stomach hurts as I enter the Belly Shack. I am a vegetarian, and I am not hungry, and I have an apartment near Western and Armitage above a pizza place. It does not affect you that I am a vegetarian. So please only think about it later, when it becomes important. I have not tried the pizza at the restaurant below my shelter. I use the bathroom at the Belly Shack. This event could be described as “ferocious.” O. The Knight of Pentacles (Reversed) A reversed Knight of Pentacles represents represents overworking yourself for material gain and neglecting your emotional health. YOU ARE BORING EVERYONE AROUND YOU. My stomach stops hurting after a ferocious event. My brain stops concentrating on anything. I am relaxed and drunk. I am warm in the Belly Shack on Armitage and Western. Near my shelter. Near the Blue Line train stop. I could have taken the Blue Line from California to Armitage but I didn’t. Instead I was cold. I like to be cold and think “I am cold.” I like to be hungry and think “I am hungry.”
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I am not cold or hungry. One time, a crazy person warned me that I should never step on the third rail of an L Train. Sometimes I’m on the platform, and I stare at the third rail and sing that song: “Vacation all I ever wanted. Vacation had to get away” I love my mom, but she is not nourishment or shelter. O. The Ace of Swords (Reversed) The Ace of Swords in an upright position represents a good omen toward new projects. New beginnings! Except, this Ace of Swords is reversed. Bad news for new projects. Reshuffle? Is that allowed? I order seasoned fries right into the dumb blank face of a girl at a cash register. Just imagine her face is right there in front of me, and then I just order the fries right into her stupid, dumb face. Like boom boom boom. Boom. Right into her face. I’m not even hungry. I just feel bad that I used their bathroom without being a customer. This cashier doesn’t give a shit. She can barely hear me, her back to kitchen noise. I am in a fucking shack. The Belly Shack. On Armitage and Western. O. The Four of Wands Here is some relief. The Four of Wands represents success. You have transferred your energy into something else, and, this time, it
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has returned to you. Your reward is success. Spell “magick” with a “k” at the end. It makes it easier to believe. As I finish ordering seasoned fries, I remember that not all fries are vegetarian. What are humans doing? Playing golf. Talking to plants. Putting meat on fries. I ask the dumb face of the stupid girl if the fries are vegetarian. Now imagine her saying this with a really really dumb voice: “the fries are vegetarian but the sauce has fish in it.” “Well please don’t give me any sauce.” (I am not even hungry.) As dumb as is possible: “You can just not eat the sauce.” “If I don’t eat it, then you will throw it away. That works out to be the same thing as eating it.” She just stares at me. “I am a vegetarian because of NPR or something. I don’t want stuff to die.” She just stares at me. (Sometimes I stare at the third rail and sing that song: “Vacation all I ever wanted. Vacation had to get away”) I smell like whiskey. (I’m not even hungry). O. The Star The Star represents hope. I don’t press it. Instead of pressing it, I seat myself at a table and hope that she will ask the kitchen to not give me sauce that has dead fish in it. I don’t want stuff to die. Eating it and throwing it away have the same fish death toll. I listen to NPR.
I smell like whiskey. I am alone at a restaurant so I look around at different things and then write on a napkin. What’s the point. O. The King of Cups The King of Cups represents a caring person. Similar to the Knight of Cups—however, the King represents an authoritative figure like a teacher or a parent. Maybe your non-abusive dad. Another girl, who seems not-dumb and nice brings me seasoned fries and a little metal ramekin of the sauce with dead fish in it. I think about being drunk and how it feels. I think about being warm and how that feels. I wish I was an alligator. I would lay in the sun. O. The Magician The Magician is another person card. He represents transformation, revelation, knowledge etc. etc. The story is about to end. Is there anything to learn? I really can’t tell. But this is what happens: I eat the sauce with dead fish in it. Not eating it and eating it are the same. Just two different versions of throwing it away. Everything is the best. I am number one, and you are too. The sauce tastes fine. I stand up to leave. I walk out into the cold. I set a course toward Mike’s. I set a course toward cheap beer and TV. I am nourished as fuck.
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Kim Guare
Jacob Sanders
continued from page 7
that animals have their own personalities, and are extremely loyal and affectionate. We would sometimes play around, sometimes go on walks, but it’s the everyday interactions that are most satisfying. Just having a companion who is willing to sit around all day with you. To live out the dull moments throughout each passing day. Time goes by without notice. The energetic and curious pup turned into the lazy old house dog before our eyes. And like a flower throughout the season, she lived lovingly and then one day she was lying, cold and dead. She’d lived the full cycle. This was life and death, something that was only abstract and distant before. It’s unbearably saddening when i wonder how the last moment felt for her. The last breath she took when she laid on the floor. The last thought. Life had crackled and burned through her in that Indiana house, and now the fire of life would terminate there. It seems selfish to simply chalk this up to a lesson in life. But until I came into contact with a joyful dog, I hadn’t understood love. And it’s most urgent because all life is fleeting. As time goes by, I start to see that same essence in all things.
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7 Jacob Martin
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W B N M T F
WE’LL B E BAC K NEXT MONTH THANKS FOR