ALL ABOUT ME Must it always be about them? All About Me is a chance to talk about something other than your teen—finally.
I’ve Got FOMO Too By Stephanie Schaeffer Silverman
Adult FOMO. I’ve got it bad. Fear of Missing Out—we use it all the time to talk about our teens. They see all of their friends getting together (without them), read posts about the concert they couldn’t get tickets to, the list goes on and on. The acronym seemed ridiculous when I first heard it. Until I realized I had it. Pictures on Facebook of a beach with an amazing sunset? Zip-lining through the trees in Costa Rica? Coffee with a stream of milk in the shape of a heart? Deal me in. At first, I was in denial. I thought it was just a “Well, that looks nice” kind of reaction, but as time went on, the desire got stronger and the “events” loomed larger and more attractive. It happened most recently with the Republican National Convention here in Cleveland. Putting all political party affinities aside, I wanted to be a part of it. Call it FOMO, call it curiosity—I wanted to be there. When I told this to my husband, he offered several responses: “You know there’s a lot of security downtown, right? You can’t just walk in.” 60
YOUR TEEN
I hadn’t thought about that. Good point.
ment in their not-yet-conceived-oreven-conceptualized eyes.
“You know you hate crowds.” Good point #2.
I never had this problem before. Where was this coming from?
Why couldn’t anyone understand that I just wanted to feel the energy of the city? It was historic and it was happening here, in our city.
I decided that this whole way of thinking had nothing to do with my kids getting older—one in college, one in high school, and one in middle school. I pretended this was actually all about me—my needs, my experiences, my worth, my legacy. I pretended there was no sadness about them growing up, leaving the nest and building their own lives. And this had nothing to do with two of them gone for the remainder of the summer, in another country.
My friend offered a similar response. “Are you crazy?” she asked. “I don’t think it’s safe—something could happen.” But I wanted to be there when “it” happens. “Sounds like a lot of work.” Good point #3. I didn’t go in the end, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I missed an opportunity of a lifetime. What if my whole life went by and I missed all of these chances? I pictured sitting in my comfy rocking chair, my grandchildren strewn about, asking me about the time Cleveland hosted the RNC—“What was it like, Grandma?” “I don’t know, sweetie; I wasn’t there,” seemed like a ridiculous response. I couldn’t stand to see the disappoint-
| SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER 2016
There is a saying about the work expanding to fill the time that is available. With each kid’s burgeoning freedom, I am working harder and harder to fill the “empy” space. Emptiness would feel….I can’t even go there. Best to just fill it and squash those rising feelings, by filing it with new activities to replace soccer carpool, instrument lessons, circling back for pickups, all while having dinner on the stove. I finally had it down to a science. So, FOMO it is—Fear of Moving On.n