CHARLOTTE MCCOMBS

Play or Script | Fayetteville High School, Fayetteville, AR

Zoo

INT. ST. ANN’S - MORNING

CECILIA and ALAN are inside the church, sitting in a pew, with an awkward distance between them. CECILIA is already near tears.

We follow her gaze as she looks at the holder on the back of the pew in front of her. A tattered hymnal lies there.

She looks at the Votive candles, by the side-altar. One is lit, flickering. She looks at ALAN, moving farther away from him. As she does so, she watches the candle’s flame flicker from her movement.

Offscreen, FATHER ANDREW is behind them.

FATHER (O.S.)

Hello. Cecilia?

CECILIA

(turning around)

Yes.

FATHER (O.S.)

You both can come in now.

INT. VESTRY - MORNING

FATHER ANDREW sits, with CECILIA and ALAN across from him, but he’s only looking at CECILIA. CECILIA wears her fingerless gloves. They sit uncomfortably far apart.

FATHER

So.

ALAN

So.

CECILIA says nothing.

FATHER

Cecilia?

CECILIA looks up at him, not saying a word.

FATHER

Have you and Alan ever … talked about this?

CECILIA

No.

ALAN

Yes.

ALAN

Well…I told you…I told her what I wanted. What I want.

FATHER

Which is what?

ALAN

I told her that I want to convert to Catholicism.

Beat.

FATHER

I remember that … I told you to talk to her about everything you said to me. On that night that we talked, when you were so upset -

ALAN

No, yeah, I know.

FATHER

I told you to talk to her about that before you talked to her about your desire to join the -

ALAN

Yeah.

FATHER

So why didn’t you do that?

ALAN

Because I wasn’t gonna do that.

Beat…

FATHER

You need to.

Beat. ALAN looks away, like a child being scolded.

FATHER

Alan. … You need to tell Cecilia what you told me.

ALAN

Andrew -

FATHER

Please don’t call me that.

ALAN

…sorry.

CECILIA laughs, suddenly. It catches the other two off-guard.

ALAN

(annoyed)

What?

CECILIA

Nothing.

ALAN

No, what?

CECILIA

Why are you yelling at me -

ALAN

I’m not, tell me why you just laughed.

CECILIA

Because … you just called a priest Andrew. That’s what you just called a priest. You need to listen to yourself - it’s completely absurd.

ALAN

I don’t know, Cecilia -

CECILIA

That’s not even his real name, probably.

ALAN and CECILIA look at FATHER ANDREW.

FATHER

It’s … not.

ALAN

Cecilia, come on-

FATHER

Alan. You need to tell Cecilia what you told me.

Beat.

ALAN

I told … the Father.

CECILIA laughs again. ALAN’s pissed.

ALAN

That - I feel like I’m not going anywhere. I know you make fun of me, but I did take those classes in college, and I loved them, and I - I love the idea of feeling … not insignificant.

CECILIA scoffs. ALAN ignores her.

ALAN

And that’s why I want to convert.

CECILIA

Join.

ALAN

What?

CECILIA

You’re not converting if there wasn’t anything to begin with.

ALAN

That’s not - that’s not true - you can use the word convert even if -

FATHER

What about your job?

ALAN

(quietly)

And I told him that … I hate my job.

CECILIA snickers - ALAN glares at her.

ALAN

What.

CECILIA

You’re a lawyer.

ALAN

What - what does that mean?

CECILIA

Father, have you ever met a lawyer that comes home and is like … wow, I just love my job -

ALAN

That - that’s unfair - some people like being lawyers -

FATHER

Cecilia.

Beat.

FATHER

Go on, Alan.

Beat.

ALAN

…and I told him that… I resent the way you look at me when I say that I want something more than what we already have.

CECILIA

But you’ve never said that, Alan!

ALAN

Yes - well - I’ve tried!

CECILIA

No, you haven’t, what you do is you stash away your little…medals and rosaries, hiding from me -!

ALAN

Wait -

CECILIA

I’ve seen your little shrine, Alan -

ALAN

Oh, my God -

CECILIA

All your little medals and prayer cards and stuff - you think that that’s what being a Catholic is, but you have no idea.

ALAN

But - okay - you never -

CECILIA

What I’m hearing from you, Alan, is that you think that converting to Catholicism will suddenly fix the fact that you feel small, and insignificant, because you’re too good to feel these things, right? And you think that all of a sudden you won’t be pissed about your life choices, and pissed at yourself for not caring about anything, and that it’ll fix me AND you. Right?

CECILIA’s looking at her gloves, trying to mask the pain. ALAN’s looking at her in disbelief.

ALAN

I don’t even - I don’t even know what that was. What was that?

CECILIA

(re: the whole meeting)

That’s what this is!

ALAN

No, that was you. Why are you doing this? Why are you - why do you keep going on these little -

CECILIA

You think that I hate you for wanting more than we have, but I know that we have

NOTHING Alan! Nothing!

Beat.

FATHER

Cecilia.

CECILIA’s eyes cut to Father Andrew.

FATHER

If I may. I see you … in this church. From time to time.

CECILIA says nothing. She tries to ignore the stabbing pain.

FATHER

You sit and you pray -

CECILIA

I don’t pray.

FATHER

Alright, you don’t pray. But you do come here. I do see you.

CECILIA

… I went to Mass here. As a child.

FATHER ANDREW says nothing.

CECILIA

And I come here because I think about my childhood sometimes. Not because I want to pray.

FATHER ANDREW looks at her. He looks at the fingerless gloves that she’s wearing.

CECILIA

I tried to get in contact with my ex-husband.

ALAN

You -

CECILIA

(to Alan)

Yes.

(to Father Andrew)

I did.

EXT. CEMETERY - MORNING

CECILIA stands in the cemetery behind the church. She looks down at a grave - and we see a BOUQUET OF ROSES. They’re brown and wilted, dying. From behind CECILIA, we can see ALAN approaching, from the church. CECILIA turns around -

ALAN

What the hell was that?

CECILIA

Alan, I don’t want to do this again -

ALAN

No, you don’t, you never do -

CECILIA

Alan, please, we’re in a cemetery -

ALAN

I don’t care where we are, I’m not going to let this happen -

CECILIA

Alan. Come on.

ALAN

What the hell is wrong with you? Why were you acting like that?

CECILIA

Why were you acting like that? Like you know more about Catholicism than a priest -

ALAN

I wasn’t acting like that - how was I acting like that?

CECILIA

Alan, I can’t - I just can’t. Anymore.

Beat. A quietness develops between them - a tenderness, a palpable exhaustion and sorrow. CECILIA is fighting back tears.

CECILIA

I didn’t think that this was going to be this hard. Because you know, you know what this was like for me. And how I finally thought I’d gotten rid of it. But now it’s all - it’s all coming back - and I just - and I called Eli, because I wanted to do something nice for you, I thought that maybe it would help, but now - here we are.

ALAN

No. I know. … it’s okay.

ALAN slowly approaches her and holds her.

CECILIA

I just -

ALAN

I know.

Beat. He hugs her.

ALAN

… I’m sorry. … I love you.

CECILIA

… I love you too.

A moment.

CECILIA (PRE-LAP)

And so … then he just hugged me. And we haven’t talked about it since.

CUT TO:

INT. CAFE - DAY

REINA and CECILIA sit opposite each other in a dingy, 24-hour cafe, drinking coffee. A tacky Christmas carol plays quietly. CECILIA is wearing her fingerless gloves.

REINA

So what’s gonna happen?

CECILIA

I don’t know. I don’t know what it meant, you know, I don’t know if it meant like, I’m not going to do it, I’m sorry, or - I’m sorry that you’re still going to have to go through this, I’m sorry, you know -?

REINA

Yeah, yeah, right -

CECILIA

I mean - I explained to him that this is really hard on me. But - I don’t know if he cares or not.

Beat. CECILIA smiles to herself.

CECILIA

Alan’s always been obsessed with Catholicism, you know. … I remember, on our first date, when I told him that I was raised Catholic, he kept talking about these college classes that he took on Catholicism and the saints and how he was absolutely fascinated. And he told me that he would watch this TV series about saints and cathedrals and stuff, and I thought that it was all kind of sweet at the time, you know. That he was so enthused about it. It was something that I would never understand, you know, how he could be enthused about something that I’m so used to. And I knew that he collected saints medals, and prayer cards and stuff like that but I never thought - like, I thought it was just like a thing for him. I never thought that he would want to actually join the church. It never even crossed my mind, and it seems so stupid now, like, of course that’s what was going to happen. It’s so obvious. I just wish … I wish I could’ve, y’know, had the insight? I guess? To have seen it coming. It might have made it a bit easier.

Beat. REINA looks at her.

REINA

But what about you?

CECILIA

… what about me?

REINA

I’m gonna be honest, I don’t care that much about Alan.

CECILIA laughs.

REINA

I don’t. That’s not why I’m here.

CECILIA

(smiling)

…okay.

Beat, as they look at each other -

REINA

Why don’t you work?

Beat. CECILIA’s uncomfortable …

CECILIA

- well. I’m not - well - Alan and I always said that when we have kids, I’d be the one at home.

So. I haven’t -

REINA

But you don’t have kids.

CECILIA

Yeah, I know - but - trust me, I want to do something. I just … things are very fragile between me and Alan right now and I feel like he’ll think that me trying to get a job means I don’t want to have kids.

REINA

Well you can’t - I mean, if that’s the way things have to be then you can quit your job if you have kids.

CECILIA

When.

REINA

When what?

CECILIA

When I have kids.

REINA

Alright, when, but still. Do you not want to work?

CECILIA

No, I do! I just - I don’t know … I mean, you don’t have a job either.

REINA

But I work. I mean, I’m working more by not having a conventional job, - before it was me making copies and like - y’know, for a bunch of assholes. Now, I work.

CECILIA

Well, I mean, maybe that kind of thing could work for you but it doesn’t really work for me.

REINA

I’m not trying to upset you.

CECILIA

I’m not upset.

REINA

What do you want to do? What do you want to do.

Beat.

CECILIA

… I don’t know. That’s the thing, I don’t know.

REINA

There’s nothing wrong with that.

CECILIA

I mean - okay. When I was in grade school, I went to Catholic school you know. Duh. But … the nuns had all the girls sit in a circle and we would go around the room and say whether we wanted to be a nun when we grew up, or a teacher.

REINA

No way. They asked us that too.

CECILIA

Really?

REINA

Yeah. Jeez, they need to get some new shit.

CECILIA

Yeah, well, the Catholic Church isn’t really known for that, are they.

REINA

So what did you say?

CECILIA

Well, I didn’t want to be a nun or a teacher, so when they got to me … I just stayed silent. And they were, you know, not happy about it. But I didn’t know. So, I got married.

REINA

… I said that I wanted to be a writer.

CECILIA

… what did they say to that?

REINA

They didn’t say anything. They just stared at me. And then moved on to the next person.

CECILIA

I couldn’t have done that - I mean, I still don’t know. Even now, if they asked me again, I wouldn’t know what to say.

REINA

But now, you don’t have to be a nun or a teacher.

CECILIA

Yeah, but what would it be? You know. I don’t know what it would be. I can’t even begin to understand … how you did it.

REINA

How I did what?

CECILIA

Manage to … escape that.

Beat.

REINA

I quit my job so I could write. My job at the Weekly was mind-numbing and soul-killing. Now, I’m writing a novel.

CECILIA

Oh. That’s -

REINA

I never wanted it to be like this, but everything in the novel is about the church, and Catholicism, and not positive stuff. It’s all about the guilt, the repression, the - awful stuff. That I hate. But what’s strange is that - it just became that. Without me even trying. And writing about the guilt makes me feel guilty. And - my mom died recently. So -

CECILIA

Oh - I’m - I’m sorry.

REINA

Oh, no, it’s okay - it’s just - that makes me feel … even more guilty.

Beat.

CECILIA

My mom used to say this thing to me - when I was a little kid. She said - life is about the fine line between salvation and damnation. The people that tread that fine line are the ones that have the real fun.

REINA

(smiling)

That’s what she told you? When you were a little kid?

CECILIA

Yeah -

REINA

She sounds like a cool mom.

CECILIA laughs, somewhat bitterly.

CECILIA

Mm hmm. She just … she believes it. You know what I mean? She truly, undoubtedly, believes it. And it’s like it never occurred to her that I would grow up and not believe it.

Beat. REINA thinks.

REINA

… it never occurred to you that your husband would believe. So in a way … you and your mom did the same thing.

Beat.

REINA

Do you think this is weird?

CECILIA

What.

REINA

Us getting together … and talking and stuff.

CECILIA

… yeah. But that doesn’t really bother me.

REINA looks at CECILIA’s hands as she holds her coffee mug. Fingerless gloves. She’s dying to ask her … what could it mean?

REINA

(still looking at Cecilia’s hands)

Cecilia?

CECILIA’s in pain, but in this moment, she forgets. She looks into REINA’s eyes.

REINA

I’m not going to tell Eli about this. Or anyone.

CECILIA’s hands are bleeding …

REINA

Is that okay?

Blood soaks through the gloves.

INT. CAFE - BATHROOM - DAY

CECILIA stands in the cafe bathroom, running cold water over her hands.

They’re violently red, gruesome gashes. They look worse than they ever have before. She winces, near tears, as the water runs over her wounds, turning the water red. She turns the tap off, and just looks at them.

INT. CAFE - DAY

REINA sits at the table, waiting for Cecilia to come back from the bathroom. She looks at Cecilia’s coffee mug. The handle has tiny drops of blood on it.

INT. CAFE - BATHROOM - DAY

The bathroom, again. CECILIA looks at her hands. From behind her, the door opens.

REINA

Cecilia?

CECILIA turns around with hands behind her back, not wanting anyone to see - to discover that it’s REINA.

REINA

… are you okay?

CECILIA looks at her. She keeps her hands behind her back - blood drips from the wounds down her wrists, to the floor. Tears well up in her eyes - she can’t stop them anymore. This is the first time we see her cry, truly cry.

CECILIA

(quietly)

No.

REINA looks at CECILIA’s face, and then at her hands. …CECILIA, tentatively, shows them to her. She hasn’t shown anyone before. REINA’s registers what she’s looking at, unable to believe.