KEA KAMIYA

Play or Script | State College of Florida Collegiate School, Bradenton, FL

Empty Trains

SCENE 1

ALMOST EMPTY TRAIN.

There is a gentle hum of a subway train. MACY is standing, holding onto a handle. TREY lays face down on the floor. MACY sways with the trains movements and looks, concerned, at Trey.

MACY

Are … are you alright?

TREY

No.

(muffled)

MACY

Oh. You really shouldn’t lay on the floor, you know. Millions of people’s feet have been on that floor. It’s actually really nasty…

TREY

(muffled)

I don’t care.

MACY

You could get really sick …

TREY rolls over onto his back and lets out a long exaggerated sigh.

TREY

I hope I do. I hope it’s a virus and it acts quickly and it ends my misery.

MACY

Okay...

TREY

There are worse ways to go.

MACY

You’re not hurt, right?

TREY

Only emotionally.

MACY

Do I know you?

TREY

If you did, you’d wish you didn’t.

MACY

Could I … can I help you somehow? Is there anything I can do?

TREY

You could go back ten years and tell me not to waste my time on stupid dreams.

MACY

Oh. You know, I’m pretty sure they did a study and subway floors were one of the germiest places in the world.

TREY

You don’t say.

MACY

Yes. You should really get up …

TREY

Well in that case, maybe if I lick it death will come quicker …

TREY sticks out his tongue and acts like he’s going to lick the floor. MACY screams and covers her face. TREY starts laughing.

TREY

I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help it. It was too good. Too good of an opportunity.

He’s still laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

MACY

Oh my -- that was just mean!

TREY

Was it? I’m sorry.

(Beat)

You keep giving me a hard time for laying on the floor, but you’re the one standing. I bet that overhead handle is downright infested.

MACY

I wiped it off when I got on. With extra-strength Clorox.

He stares at her for a moment, mouth agape.

TREY

Of course you did. That still doesn’t explain why you’re standing.

MACY

Why are you laying on the floor?

TREY

Why are you standing?

MACY

Why are you on the floor?

TREY

Why are you standing?

MACY

Why are you on the floor?

TREY

I don’t have the will to get up.

MACY

That seems pretty dramatic.

TREY

Nope. No it’s not dramatic enough.

MACY

Huh?

TREY

I’m an actor, but not a very successful one. So I guess I’m not dramatic enough.

MACY

An actor?

TREY

Not a very successful one.

TREY gets up off the floor.

So maybe . . . not one at all.

MACY

That’s what you were talking about wasting fifteen years on? Acting?

TREY

Yup. That’s why I moved to NYC. City of lights.

MACY

You’re thinking of Paris.

TREY

The windy city?

MACY

Chicago.

TREY

City of sin?

MACY

Las Vegas.

TREY

The city of angels?

MACY

Los Angeles.

TREY

That’s a real thing?!

MACY

Yes.

TREY

MACY

New York City. The city that never sleeps.

TREY

Well, that’s ironically fitting. Considering that we’re on a subway in the middle of the night.

MACY

Yeah.

There is an awkward moment of silence.

The seat is germy.

TREY

Huh?

MACY

You asked me why I was standing up. The seat is germy.

TREY

Couldn’t you just “wipe it down”?

MACY

Yeah, but then people look at me like I’m crazy.

TREY

Hey, I won’t judge.

MACY

It’s really okay. Do I know you from somewhere?

TREY

I don’t think so.

(Beat)

So, what do you do?

MACY

I’m an accountant.

(Changing the subject)

So what, you realized your career was ending or something and you hopped on a train to mope?

TREY

No. My career never started. And I hopped on a train to get back home. I had an audition. You’re an accountant?

MACY

Yeah.

TREY

Cool. So like, numbers and stuff. You could do my taxes!

MACY

Um, in theory, yeah, I guess.

TREY

What’s your name?

MACY

Macy.

TREY

Trey.

TREY holds out his hand for a handshake. She doesn’t take his hand. He keeps talking, unbothered.

Where you going, Macy?

MACY

The end of the line.

TREY

Me too. You know, you shouldn’t ride trains alone at night. Random guys might try to tell you about their failed careers.

MACY

Technically, I asked. Plus, I carry pepper spray.

TREY

And I asked about yours. Yet here we are, still talking about me. It just sucks, ya know? You’re young and you have dreams and then you try so hard just to realize that they’re called dreams for a reason. Because they aren’t real.

MACY

Sure they’re real.

TREY

If you still believe that, you haven’t been rejected as many times as I have.

MACY

You made it to NYC, didn’t you? That’s pretty real. You got an audition. That’s real.

TREY

Auditions don’t mean anything if you don’t get jobs.

MACY

Maybe you just need some patience.

TREY

I tried to tell my bills that and they didn’t take it too well. I thought you were an accountant. Shouldn’t you know these things?

MACY

Can we stop talking about my career? Maybe you should get a day job.

TREY

I have three, “day jobs”. And I’m ready to give up. Why don’t you like talking about your career? Can’t be worse than mine.

MACY

Worse depends on where you’re standing.

TREY

Do you have a steady income?

MACY

Well, yes but-

TREY

If you have a steady income, there is no way that your job is worse than mine. It doesn’t matter where you’re standing.

MACY

Trey. I went to college for four years to do something every day that people will change their major to avoid doing once.

TREY

What do you mean?

MACY

Kids change their major to avoid taking accounting one. I get up and do that every day, except harder because accounting one isn’t even that bad.

TREY grins.

What?

TREY

No, it just, I never went to college, but it sounds to me like you were just smarter than them.

MACY doesn’t know what to do, so she smiles to herself. TREY gives an awkward laugh.

MACY

I guess that’s one way to think about it.

They are looking at each other, really looking and smiling just a little, forgetting. They’ve forgotten what they were talking about. MACY gives an awkward giggle. TREY’s face falls.

TREY

Uggghhhhh! I can’t even compartmentalize.

MACY

What?

TREY

It was, like, a nice moment. And then I remembered why I’m here. I remember that this whole train ride is just a marker of my . . . inadequacy.

MACY

That’s a big word for a guy who didn’t go to college.

She’s joking, but it’s delivered without confidence. He doesn’t cheer up.

Trey, you’re not a failure. The audition was that bad?

TREY

It was pretty bad.

TREY sits down in one of the seats.

It was really bad.

MACY

Bad enough to stay off the floor?

TREY

This story is worthy of a serious telling.

MACY extensively wipes down the seat and sits down.

MACY

I’m excited.

TREY

You should be.

MACY

It couldn’t have been that bad.

TREY

I told the casting director she looked old.

MACY

What?

TREY cradles his head in his hands.

TREY

I was trying to be nice, cause, you know, they are expecting these charismatic, like, great attractive guys who are charming or whatever - so you always, you know, try to be extra nice and like whatever so I was trying to compliment her and it just . . . it went really, really bad. I’m not joking. Insanely bad.

MACY

Like, you actually insulted her, bad?

TREY

Yeah. I mean, it was an accident I was just nervous and . . . But I still had a little hope cause I’ve known plenty of jerks that have gotten hired. So I get the sides - you know, the little script sheets - and I’m doing my audition and the word “drawer” comes up?

He says a very mangled version of the word “drawer”. MACY looks confused.

TREY

(still saying it wrong )

Drawer. Drawer. Draw-er.

MACY

Oh! Drawer.

TREY

Yeah. I can’t say that word. I know I’m just an idiot, but I really can’t say it right. Like, it just won’t come out of my mouth today. And the whole freaking scene was about dr-dr- draw-

MACY

Drawers.

TREY

Yeah. I wanted to die.

MACY

I’m sorry. I gotta give it to you, that sounds awful.

TREY

I was so bad. You can just see it on their faces, ya know? They’re unhappy and embarrassed for you and you have to pretend that you don’t notice and it’s just… awful.

MACY

I really am sorry.

TREY

Thanks. And the worst thing is that I knew them. That was the same casting director from the commercial--

MACY

Oh my gosh! That’s where I recognize you from! You were in that commercial!

TREY

(deadpan)

The diarrhea medicine commercial?

MACY

Well…it doesn’t matter what it was a commercial for. You still got paid. You were still in a commercial.

TREY

It doesn’t matter? Are you sure?

MACY

Trey.

TREY

I’m just saying, talking about my bowels on T.V. was not exactly something to write home about.

MACY can’t help it, she laughs.

MACY

It was still a job!

TREY

(Cracking a smile)

Barely!

MACY

But it’s worth it, right? To do something you love?

This gives Trey a pause.

TREY

I don’t know. I thought … I thought it was. I guess a few hundred cups of ramen noodles and a studio apartment that could fit on the head of a pin might be enough to change a man’s mind.

MACY

I think … I mean, deep down you must think it’s worth it. Otherwise, you would’ve quit already. Right?

TREY

Yeah. I guess you’re right.

MACY

You’re doing what you’re passionate about. That’s … exciting. Nothing about my job is exciting.

TREY

Was it ever?

MACY

What?

TREY

Did your job ever excite you?

MACY

I ... I don’t know.

TREY

Then why did you do it?

MACY

It doesn’t matter.

TREY

I mean, it kinda does. There had to be some reason, right?

MACY

I don’t know. But it wasn’t like, “ a thing”, you know? Like my mom’s a teacher, and she can remember the exact moment she decided that that was her dream. She was working at a camp in eighth grade and she realized that she wanted to be a teacher and that she wanted to do that forever and then she did. I literally had no clue what I wanted, I was about to graduate high school and I had no plan. I just didn’t know and my parents got stressed and I got stressed and I just couldn’t handle it anymore. So when they asked me what my major was at orientation I just picked one near the top of the list. Accounting starts with an A.

TREY

Huh.

MACY

Yeah. I told you it’s not a great story. It’s lame.

TREY

But you never liked it?

MACY

I mean ... I don’t know. I told my parents that I’d had an epiphany and I wanted to study accounting. They were overjoyed. And then, I actually started taking classes … and I didn’t hate them. Accounting is boring, but it’s organized and safe and consistent. And it makes sense.

TREY

It makes sense to you?

MACY

Yeah. It makes sense to me.

TREY

That’s how I feel about scripts. They just make sense.

They sit together in silence for a moment.

TREY

You know, when I got on this train, I had my heart set on giving up.

MACY

Don’t give up.

TREY

I know. I have to keep going. Otherwise, I’ll never know if I would’ve … made it, right?

He slides off the chair and resumes his spot on the floor, but now he is laying calmly, his hands folded over his chest, staring at the ceiling.

MACY

Made it?

TREY

Yeah.

MACY

What does that even mean? Made it?

TREY

You know, like, “I made it.” I guess, accomplishing your dreams.

MACY

But you made it to NYC. You made it to that audition. You made it here. You made it on that stupid commercial. You’ve already made it. You’re doing something you’re passionate about. You have passion and excitement and thrill in your life.

TREY

Always looking for work doesn’t thrill me.

MACY

Doing the same pointless things every single day doesn’t thrill me either.

TREY

I guess we just have to decide if it’s worth it.

MACY

What do you mean?

TREY

You have a stable job with a good wage and there’s things you like about it like, consistency and stuff. I have a super unstable job where I get rejected a lot, but I really, I really love it. Is it worth it? For a chance at making it?

MACY

You’ve already made it. As soon as you figure out how to say the word “drawer” you’ll be the total package.

TREY chuckles.

TREY

If anyone’s made it, it’s you. Besides, that’s not how it works.

MACY

Then, why don’t you change how it works?

MACY walks over, hesitates, and then lays down beside TREY.

This sucks.

TREY

Yeah. But it could be worse.

Beat.

You really think I’m successful?

MACY

Yeah. Most people couldn’t even consider doing what you’re going. The fear would kill them before they even got here.

There is a sound of squeaking train breaks and they hold onto the floor to keep from sliding.

TREY

We made it to our stop. It’s the end of the line.

MACY sits up.

MACY

We made it.

TREY

We made it.

MACY gets up off the floor and offers TREY her hand. He reaches out to take it--

BLACKOUT.