DON PASQUALE

BY THE EDITORS AT ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE

A newly released report from the U.K.’s Air Accidents Investigation Branch has determined that an inflight incident on June 29, 2022, could have turned out “very different,” CNN reported. On that day, a flying instructor slumped over on a pilot’s shoulder as they flew a small plane above Lancashire, England. The pilot, who had asked the instructor to accompany him because of wind conditions that day, thought his cohort was “just pretending to take a nap” as a joke, but after landing the plane, he realized the instructor had died. The report noted that the instructor likely “suffered a cardiac arrest as the aircraft took off.”

Least Competent Criminal

Newby said Austin “feels a little less like home every day.” Sad emoji.

— In Florida, the state senate Democratic leader and canine fun-ruiner Lauren Book filed a piece of legislation that would make it illegal to let a dog “extend its head or any other body part outside” a moving car window, WTSP-TV reported on Feb. 21. The bill has other pet-related provisions relating to animal safety, including prohibiting pets riding in the open beds of pickups and drivers holding a dog in their lap. If passed, the bill will become law on July 1.