50 YELLOW MEN
We collect LEGO Minifigures. It’s what we do. It’s a little embarrassing to admit because we’re 21, 22 and 28. Sure the box says it’s aged 7-12, but we don’t give a shit. Just don’t ever tell anyone about it. Please.
Why does this exist? After receiving the brief to create a publication about something you collect, naturally both our minds went to our rather extensive LEGO Minifigure collections. However we had not counted on having to work in groups of 3 - CURVE BALL. I know right. The dynamic duo. The graphic design bros. The gruesome twosome. In a three way? We quickly decided to let down our third wheel gently by recommending they join another group as they probably wouldn’t enjoy working with us because we’re into some ‘heavy shit’. This wasn’t true and was in fact a simple ploy to not have to admit to someone (probably a girl) that we wanted to create a publication about our rather vast LEGO Minifigure collections - saving us one potentially awkward, sexually frustrating situation. But as the groups were picked for us … we ended up getting the new girl. CURVE BALL. AGAIN. We agreed that we couldn’t ‘palm off’ the new girl as it seemed like it was crossing a social boundary even for us. Instead we acted like mature adults and explained the situation. We said “Here’s where we are, Sally (her name was Sally). We’ve come up with an idea of what we want to base our magazine on… because we both collect the same thing. But we reckon it won’t really appeal to you. Maybe we could come up with some more ideas together?” Sally asked what we collected. We scratched our heads and shifted uncomfortably. And then like a couple of creepy undead identical twins from any horror film ever, we said in perfect unison, “Lego”. We closed our eyes, held our breath and clenched our bum cheeks expecting the worst. It was then that Sally said the last words we were expecting to hear. “LETS GET NAKED!” No not those words, but these. “I collect LEGO too!” We looked at each other speechless. Unsure whether she was speaking true or playing us false. Was this in fact some cruel jape? Our questions were answered when she initiated high fives all round. That was sorted then. A magazine about LEGO Minifigures where we recount the interesting, yet somewhat embarassing tales of being an enthusiast.
Oh, and before you go... A couple of things aspiring enthusiasts need to know.
Duplicates Whenever you’re collecting anything theres always the risk of duplicates. Duplicates are a fact of life when collecting anything where there is an element of chance involved. Nothing quite compares to the soul crushing disappointment of opening a packet to reveal one you’ve already got. But don’t despair, its not all doom and gloom! Duplicates have their own value. They’re a trade currency in themselves. That Sailor you’ve got more than one of could be turned into a sweet Werewolf in a simple swapsy with a friend. And don’t worry if you haven’t got any friends. Collecting Minifigures almost guarantees you don’t have any. But thats what the internet is for! Get your duplicates on eBay and make yourself a profit! You can make between £2-7 profit on any Minifigure but if you get one that people want… you could make anything up to and over £10! But if you want to see the big bucks, then play the long game my friend. Hang on to your duplicates until the series is discontinued and watch their value soar!
Stinkers Duplicates might be bad, but they have their uses. However one can’t quite prepare themselves physically or mentally for Stinkers. Affectionately known as ‘shitters’ in the trade. Stinkers are basically the worst of the bunch. The bad apples. The ones nobody wants. Even one of these are too many for your collection. We’re talking the Alien here folks. The ones that don’t even look like LEGO. Give ‘em to a friend, try your hardest to swap them, put them in a bin, throw them off a boat or give them to Barnado’s. They’re pretty much your only options.
This is the sort of thing we’re talking about. Total, utter, useless Stinkers.