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T he Y ale R ecord
TYPICAL QUESTIONS FROM A LAW SCHOOL INTERVIEW How many buildings on our campus are named after your grandfather? (Dining halls don’t count.) During the opening credits of Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde, Elle Wood’s dog Bruiser sports a custom outfit by which Franco-Italian designer? Kill, Fuck, Marry: Elena Kagan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor. Kill, Fuck, Marry: Clarence Thomas, Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas. Defend the racial segregation of American public schools prior to 1954. I can tell you’re holding in a fart right now. In season 6, episode 9 of Law and Order: SVU, Ice-T bumps fists with which fellow detective after tackling a pervert down a fire escape? Defend the systematic internment of Japanese Americans during World War II. Do you think of yourself as a competent lover? Do you think I’d be a competent lover? How many times have you read my book? What is the function of a corporate auditor in maintaining compliance with respect to fiduciary liability under Section 404, Title 18 of the Sarbanes-Oxley Investor Protection Act? Defend slavery. —N. Goel
SCHEDULE FOR YOUR FIRST DAY IN PRISON 9:00 10:30 10:45 11:10 12:00 1:00 2:00 3:00
Meet your cellmate Brave the Extracurricular Bazaar Decide which prison gang you’re going to rush Set up a meal with your new “Jefe” Scope out the dining hall New inmate workshop: “Prison Slang” New inmate workshop: “Do-it-Yourself Tattoos” New inmate workshop: “Understanding Sexual Assault - Consent and The Myth of Miscommunication” 4:30 Make new friends in the prison yard 4:52 Get caught staring at Shifty Dan’s eye patch 5:00 Lay low for a while 11:00-? Cry —N. Warren COP SHOWS EVEN CBS WOULDN’T PICK UP Good Cop, Sad Cop Law and Order: Nursing Home Unit CSI: Butte, Montana Miami Mice The Dentalist To Catch a Petty Larcenist Mister Nubbins the Cat: Attorney at Paw Zach and Cody: Attorneys at Sea Zach and Cody: Special Victims Unit Cops —C. Rudeen and M. Kaplan TOP FIVE MOST ALPHABETICAL SUPREME COURT JUSTICES Samuel Alito Henry Baldwin Philip Pendleton Barbour Hugo Black Harry Blackmun
How Supreme Court Justices are actually selected. —T. McCoy
—A. Gertler