1
T he G ame I ssue
CC OO UU PP OO NN
WALL STREET PIZZA WALL STREET PIZZA SERVING GREAT PIZZA AND SANDWICHES
SERVING GREAT PIZZA AND SANDWICHES
BUY ANY LARGE PIZZA, AND DON’T FORGET:
L i ke u s on f a c e b o o k o r twitter a n d yo u c o uld be on e of t h e l u cky m o n th ly win n er s o f a free pizza! DRAWINGS EVERY FIRST WEEK OF EVERY MONTH!
GET EVERY ORDER AAFREE GETSODA!!! 10% OFF GETSTUDENTS FREETWO TWOLITER LITER SODA!!!
CCC OOO UUU PPP OOO NNN
90 90WALL WALL STREET STREET •• (203) (203) 776-9021 776-9021
ININTHE THEHEART HEARTOFOFYALE; YALE;NOW NOWDELIVERING DELIVERINGININTHE THECHAPEL CHAPELAREA! AREA! Dear Yale, You know, I can’t believe that with all of your acronyms – DUH, OCS, YPMB – there are still some phrases you haven’t shortened yet. For example, why is anyone still staying “Science Hill”? “Sci-Hi” is much faster and more enjoyable to say! Let’s forget about “Science Hill” and walk up “Sci-Hi!” Who’s with me?! —President Richard Levin, in a last-ditch attempt to do something meaningful with what’s left of his term Dear Heffalumps and Woozles, Is it just me, or do both of you sound like the hard drugs that I do every Saturday night? —Piglet
MISSING CHINESE VICE PRESIDENT XI JINPING LOCATED AT LAST, FOUND TAKING PICTURES OF STUDENTS ON OLD CAMPUS
Dear New Haven Drivers, There are better places to practice bowling than Elm Street. Sincerely, Novice Jaywalkers
YOU JUST LOST THE GAME Dear science fiction writers, Why don’t you write more about me? What does time travel have that I don’t? I’m interesting. Look at that guy over there, crossing the street. Whoa! He used to be on the other side of the street! There’s got to be a story in there, right? Right? Please, Space travel Dear Hollywood, I have a brilliant idea for a movie. It’s about a wolf pup raised by humans. Excitedly, A man who does not realize that would just be a dog
Dear shadows in the closet, You better not be a monster in there. If you are I’ll call my daddy and he’ll come beat you up. —Timmy Dear little Timmy, Don’t be scared, buddy. In the dark so many things can look scary. The shadows in the closest are harmless, I promise. But me? Oh yeah, I’m almost certainly going to murder you. —That creaking noise from under the bed
QUOTE ATTRIBUTED TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN MARK TWAIN Dear MIKA, You’re not the only one who wants to be like Grace Kelly! I want to be like Grace Kelly! I wanna walk like him and talk like him, too! —Louie, King of the Jungle