YALE SHOP
ON CAMPUS
24
THE OLDEST
OFFICIAL YALE SHOP
ON CAMPUS
T he Y ale R ecord Dear echo, Thanks for always being— Dear echo, Hold on a sec— Thanks for always being— Don’t interrupt! Hold on a sec— Let me finish my— Don’t interrupt! Hey, you interrupted me! Let me finish my— Fine. Hey, you interrupted me! Fuck you, echo. Fine.
WILE E. COYOTE FINALLY KILLS ROADRUNNER, LIVES LIFE OF SOLITARY BOREDOM
Fuck you, Echo
LOCAL MAN CARES, BUT IS OUT OF RATS’ ASSES Dear Neville Longbottom, Alright, I see two possibilities. Number one, you’re lying, and those warts did not come from your pet toad, Trevor. Number two, those warts did come from Trevor, and you’re a freak. Either way, I really don’t feel like having sex with you right now. —Hannah Abbot 57 BROADWAY, NEW HAVEN, CT 203-789-2157
57 BROADWAY, NEW HAVEN, CT 203-789-2157
Dear Amnesty International, I’m so excited to join your fight against human rights violations! Here’s how I think we should do this: first, gather an elite force of warriors from campuses across the country and put them on a boat. We anchor in Bangkok, then sneak over the Burmese border and break open Napyidaw Prison... Wait, what? We just sign petitions? Screw that—I’ll found my own club. Sincerely, Matt King, BK ’16 Liberation Warrior General P.S. Liberation Warriors Club wants YOU for Secretary, Treasurer, or Snow Leopard Commando! Dear student enjoying a pleasant, nonawkward walk past Au Bon Pain, Not on my watch. —The Poetry Lady