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“Xavier Creates Brothers” By Martin Steffens ’16
Xavier has always played a big role in my life. From countless Turkey Bowls to calling my uncle (Dan Steffens ’93) “Uncle Six” based on his Xavier rugby position, to learning the fight song before I was in middle school, 16th Street is a part of my family, and I knew welcoming arms would await me there. At Xavier, I became part of something much larger than myself. My teachers pushed me to become a better student. My teammates pushed me to become a stronger athlete. I was able to become myself—or to feel that process starting. That’s something no one can take for granted. I was also able to connect on a much deeper level with my brothers Pat Steffens ’11, Tim Steffens ’12, and Greg Steffens ’20. We’re able to talk about anything, and one of our favorite topics of conversation is Xavier. There is definitely something special about that. Like everyone else who has walked Xavier’s halls, I graduated having learned some incredible life lessons. Of course, discovering limits using epsilon and delta in Ms. Kristin Matroni’s calculus class was one of them—especially as I attempt to earn a bachelor’s degree in mathematics—but there are deeper lessons taught at this school. My teachers and coaches taught me to take accountability for my actions. That sentence, while it is easy to write, takes some brainpower to comprehend. Accountability, according to Merriam-Webster, is “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.” Now, the first time I walked JUG (and I know many people share this feeling), I felt like someone was out to get me. I was angry—not at the fact that my shirt was untucked, but that I was caught with my shirt untucked. But from that point on, I took pride in how I walked the halls and how I carried myself when I took the train to and from school every day. It goes back to what Joe McGrane P’20 expects of his players—before every basketball game, we showed up in shirt and tie, even if it was Saturday. This requirement made a lasting impression on us. We wore “the X” while we were on the court, as well as getting to and from games—and beyond. Accountability is the single best trait I developed at Xavier. Now I’m the older brother giving advice to my younger brother Greg, a sophomore. I look back on my days on 16th Street and give my best “When I was your age…” speeches to him. I look back with a bittersweet feeling because my time at Xavier was so precious to my development as a person. But the Xavier experience lives
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on through a strong, close-knit alumni network—the brothers beyond my family. Even though I don’t see my classmates every day like I used to, I’m still able to talk to them about anything. This is something I also see at my new school, Loyola University Chicago. Some of my closest friends are from Jesuit high schools because we all have such similar backgrounds. We met through Loyola Rugby, a program not as competitive as any of our high school regimes, but one in which we are all able to excel as leaders because of our shared history of great coaching, teaching, and learning “people skills.” Another Xavier graduate, Brian Burke ’14, and I have grown close over my nearly four semesters at Loyola. My relationship with him is another reason I want to stay connected to Xavier. Of course, the Beefsteak Dinner is something my father, uncle, and older brothers rub in my face (for only a little while longer), and I cannot wait to reconnect with all of my classmates then. But what Brian showed me is that I don’t want to lose my relationships that stem from Xavier. I don’t only want to be in touch with my classmates once a year. Xavier creates brothers, even ones outside our family. So when I was asked to write this article, I was so incredibly honored. Xavier has given so much to me, and for that I am forever grateful.
Greg ’20, Pat ’11, Dan ’93, Pat ’88 P’11 ’12 ’16 ’20, Tim ’12, and Marty ’16