SoLo Parenting Magazine A Magazine for Today’s Single Parents SUMMER EDITION 2017
TEEN PEER PRESSURE
PLUS…. THE ART OF AUTISTIM
WHY ARE WE YELLING, HITTING, BEATING “OUR” CHILDREN? VISIT SoLoParentingMag.com Summer Edition 2017
If you have a special need today, focus your full attention on the goodness and greatness of your Father rather than on the size of your need. Your need is so small compared to His ability to meet it.
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VOLUME 1 / NUMBER 1
SUMMER 2017 TABLET OF CONTENT Pg.5 Editor Letter / Wendy L. Harvey 6 Spiritual Pg. 10 Recipe/Asian Glazed Chicken/Chef Cheeks 11 All about Inflammation/Healing Chef Pg.16 25th Hour by De’Lys Marie 17 One Mother’s life with an Autistic Child by Michelle Johnson Small Pg.22 Raised by SoLo Parent/Lee Jenkins 24 Urban Planning/ Negus Adeyemi Pg. 26 Pay Attenion/ Rhonda L. Thomas 28 “Why are we yelling” Deborah L. Tillman America’s SuperNanny Pg. 31 The Cup Half Full or Half Empty by Kathy Elliott 33 Teens and Peer Pressure by Chante’ Whisonant Pg. 36 A Call to Reclaim America by Peggy Currelley 39 Wendy’s Words of Wisdom
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EDITOR’S LETTER As you read the words gathered on the pages of SoLo Parenting Magazine we hope to enrich your spirit and empower your intellect with this edition full of wisdom as a resource for the single parent community. As the world turns and single parenting still becomes an epidemic in society it is vital to have blogs, radio shows, websites and magazines for single parents globally. The problem isn’t going away so solutions of resources need to be constantly evolving. No “one” source is better than the other….we all have value. Statistics show:
In the US there are more than 80.6 single mothers (51% divorced/separated, 1.7% widowed, 49% never been married) since 2015; according to the Census Bureau Today 1 in 4 children under the age 18, a total of about 17.4 million are being raised w/o a father; nearly half 45% live below the poverty line.
As soon as, we are classified as single parents the odds are stacked against us. Labels are placed on our backs; not by stylish designers but the designers of society and our journey of defeat has begun according to society. Labels of placement and limitations….as they see, poor unwed mothers and public assistance handouts…which…not always true of their definitions of placement/limitations. There are many of us successful single parents in our own rights; in our own way. With the United States of America in such an disarray as this new President is changing so many policies and laws that benefit only a few. It “We know the is time for us, single parents to embrace this season by planting seeds to problems; let’s work grow in career moves, higher education/training, or on the solutions” entrepreneurship…the world holds no guarantee for yourself nor your children. This world is turning for the worst before it gets better….as you see. I don’t mean to bash the NEW government but ….you can see clearly…what’s happening. SP Mag desires to be the founding publication to show a sense of integrity of character, survival/resource guide chuck full of wisdom and valuable applications and true reality of life as a single parent. We want you to trust in words of our content provided to you. SoLo Parenting Magazine is here as a declaration of substance /strength for single parents globally. Chop….chop we have work to do, Wendy L. Harvey Wendy L. Harvey Follow us on Facebook: SoLo Parenting Magazine and SoLo Parenting Lifestyle Editor-In-Chief 5 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
SPIRTUAL
Ecclesiastes 3 New International Version (NIV)
A Time for Everything 3 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 2
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a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
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SPIRTUAL 9
What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. 15
Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.[b]
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And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there, in the place of justice—wickedness was there. 17
I said to myself,
“God will bring into judgment both the righteous and the wicked, for there will be a time for every activity, a time to judge every deed.” 18
I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath[c]; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?” 22
So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them? 7 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
Cakes by Leyla Leyla Nascimento Facebook: Leyla’s Cakes Instagram: @CakesByLeyla
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FOOD THOUGHT FOODFOR FOR THOUGHT
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RECIPE/ Asian
Glazed Boneless Chicken/Chef Cheeks
Asian glazed boneless chicken breast over sautĂŠed vegetables and rice. The boneless skinless chicken breast marinated in stir fry sauce from your local grocery store. Gather scallions and minced garlic then grill them to sautĂŠed in the frying pan or do it in the oven then include your choice of stir-fried vegetables of broccoli, carrots, and onions or use any type of vegetables you desire. Continue to stir sauce along with vegetables in frying pan until done/fork tender. To complete your meal add in white/brown rice of your desire put the chicken over the vegetables make sure rice is add extra sauce on top and serve. Chow!
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HEALTH
ALL ABOUT INFLAMMATION
Definition of Inflammation - a condition in which part of the body becomes reddened, swollen, hot, and often painful, especially as a reaction to injury or infection. (And that infection can be caused by several sources including the foods we eat.)
Chances are you’re already familiar with acute inflammation. Changing what we eat is a critical point in correcting inflammation but remember, it’s not a quick fix, it’s a lifestyle change. Inflammation is part of the body’s immune response; without it, we can't heal. Inflammation is not inherently bad. We need inflammation to fight off infection, but when it's out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis and other chronic illnesses —it can damage the body. Also, it's thought to play a role in obesity, heart disease, cancer and much more. What arthritis, obesity, heart disease and cancer have in common is inflammation, and that’s just a short list. Inflammation is proven to be the cause of many major illnesses we know!
HEALING CHEF
What Not To Eat Foods high in sugar and saturated fat can spur inflammation. “They cause over activity in the immune system, which can lead to joint pain, fatigue, and damage to the blood vessels. Some of the common culprits are: soda, candy, trans-fatty oils such as vegetable oil, processed meats, fried foods, refined white flour, dairy products, artificial additives and synthetic sweeteners.
Inflammation Fighting Foods – Foods that combat inflammation should be added to your diet in abundance. Some of these foods are but not limited to: tomatoes, olive oil, green leafy vegetables such as spinach, kale and collards. Nuts like almonds and walnuts. Fatty fish like salmon, mackerel, tuna and sardines. Also, fruits such as oranges, cherries and berries, (blackberries, blueberries and raspberries).
6 FOODS THAT ASSIST IN FIGHTING INFLAMMATION TOMATOES – Tomatoes are one of those easy to use anti-inflammatory foods that luckily taste great too. Tomatoes are the second most produced and consumed vegetable/fruit depending on your view nationwide, and are a rich source of lycopene, beta-carotene, folate, potassium, vitamin C, flavonoids and vitamin E. Tomatoes are high-antioxidant foods, making it one of the best sources of the phytonutrient called lycopene in the world. OLIVE OIL – Extra virgin olive oil (EVOO) contains more than 36 phenolic compounds. Although all of the phenolic compounds in (EVOO) have known beneficial effects, one specific compound in particular known as oleocanthal, has been discovered to have powerful natural antiinflammatory benefits. KALE – Kale is spoken of as one of the most nutrient rich foods you can eat. Its high levels of vitamin A and vitamin C, gives our bodies a big boost in antioxidants, in addition to being full of fiber. So, this green leafy vegetable Kale, also known as, The Queen of Greens, is a strong supporter of an anti-inflammatory lifestyle. BERRIES - (blackberries, blueberries, raspberries) – These anti-oxidant berries are bursting with phytonutrients that give them their anti-inflammatory abilities. Anti-oxidants help protect us from free radicals that cause cancer, heart disease and inflammation. A great way to get your fill of these awesome little fruits, are in detox drinks and smoothies. 12 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
HEALING CHEF
NUTS - (almonds and walnuts) – Nuts are widely known for their anti-inflammatory nature, but some are better for you than others. Almonds which consistently make the list of foods that assist with inflammation is a great snack choice to have on hand, and walnuts are the best choice to specifically help with rheumatoid arthritis.
FISH (salmon, mackerel, tuna, and sardines) – Salmon is one of the best, if not the best fish to eat, in trying to fight inflammation. Most fish to a certain degree are good in this regard but, mackerel, tuna and sardines run a very close second because of their high content of omega3. Omega-3’s are fatty acids your body needs to function, that also deliver other health benefits. REMEMBER – EAT TO LIVE DON’T LIVE TO EAT! HEALING CHEF CARLTON WHISONANT
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“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them�. James Baldwin
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SOARING SOLO
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SOARING SOLO
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25 Hour Written by De’Lys Marie Even though we should all be grateful and thankful for the twenty four hours that God has gifted us each day, as a single parent, I know you may have wondered “if I just had one more hour” or “I wish there were more hours in the day”. Let’s face reality; we are all gifted the same twenty four hours a day, so we must use them wisely. It’s important that one changes their mindset, because the battle is lost once the mind is defeated. Conquer the negative thoughts and think positively so one can act boldly into success. Each day wake up saying “today will be a prosperous day and I will get through it all”. Guess what though? If you don’t get it all done, you are not a failure, you are still a great parent. Conquer those feelings of tiredness, overwhelmed and anxiety. Those are just that, “feelings” once you have it set in your mind that being a single parent means you will rarely sleep in or go to bed early but you will accomplish so much. Set yourself up for success each day and prepare everything the night before, that way your mornings run smoother and you aren’t rushing or missing anything. Pack all the bags needed for work and school for the kids and place them by the door. Cook big meals 2-3 times a week, so there is always food available in the refrigerator. Stock up on vitamins and attempt to get a decent rest and have ensured that you get nutrition each day. You will need your strength, especially if you are a full time worker and a full time single parent. Lastly, pray for a support system. This doesn’t have to be family, (not everyone lives close to family) it could be church members; friends; anyone that can assist that you trust or you discern was sent to you by God. Encourage yourself daily, you are doing the best you can. Just strive for greatness and organization is key! Plan each day accordingly and create a system that works in your household that is realistic. We may not get the luxury th of a 25 hour, but we are gifted with 24 and that is enough. It all depends on your mindset. So renew your mind and embrace the life you have as a worthy, amazing single parent.
SOARING SOLO
BEING THE SINGLE PARENT OF AN AUTISTIC CHILD My name is Michele Johnson Smalls and I am the proud parent of a child with autism. Autism is a mental condition, usually present in early childhood. It is characterized by difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts. My son Michael was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 years old. I knew something was delaying his speech because he did not utter a single word; he just used gestures and pointing to get me to respond to his needs. My biggest concern was how he was going to be able to develop socially with this challenge in his life. I entered him into the head start program in Berkeley County where he was tested by a child psychologist and teaching staff. They confirmed that he was indeed autistic. Michael registered on the scale at mid - level 5. Therefore he did have the ability to speak but chose to communicate with gestures. His teachers were wonderful and patient in allowing him to slowly learn how to use his words to interact with the other children in class. He was still slow to develop his social skills and playing with the other children. Eventually Michael began to speak by the time he turned 4yrs old. By the time he was in first grade, he was speaking in short sentences and learning to develop socially. Michael was participating in speech therapy twice a week all thru grade school and middle school. As he went into puberty though, he became frustrated because he was being bullied by some children who felt he was "weird". He became angry and began to get into some physical altercations in middle school. We started him on a small dose Adderall to help him to be in a calmer state and possibly deal with his ADHD and the autism. The medication had an adverse effect on Michael. He began to lose weight and could not sleep at night. So I decided as his mother that it was not in his best interest to take the medicine. We needed an alternate method for him to express his angry and frustration. 17 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
SOARING SOLO Michael had always liked to sketch and draw. So when he got to high school, his art teacher entered him in one of his school’s art show. He was recognized for his drawings and paintings. Michael had found his niche and a way to express himself that was acceptable in society. His confidence rose to new heights. He became a different child, much happier and calmer. He met Ms. Arianne King Comer who did a demonstration of Batiking in his art class and he was so enthusiastic and excited. He had found the process of drawing on fabric then dying it to create such beautiful artwork so interesting. An artist was born!!
SOARING SOLO Michael excelled under the mentorship of Ms. King Comer during his junior and senior year of high school. After graduation he went on to become her protĂŠgĂŠe working with the Art Accessibility Program of South Carolina, a state agency that teaches art to children with disabilities all across the state of South Carolina. Under the leadership of Ms. King Comer, his work was entered into several art shows in Charleston and Columbia. Michael attended the College of Charleston for one year but due to financial challenges was not able to return. Michael's work has been displayed at the College of Charleston Art Museum, Spoleto and other art venues in Charleston. I am just amazed by how art has transformed Michael's life. I prefer not to look at his autism as a disability but a challenge. Yes, there were times that I felt like he would be an outcast or not accepted socially but he has proved all of us wrong. He is a loving, caring and extremely talented young man. As most autistic children, they're very inquisitive. They have a special way of communicating and usually excel in a specific area. Art, math, music and dance are avenues that autistic children usually use to express themselves. As parents we just have to find their "special" avenue. Each child is different. Michael is destined to be great! I just know it! I am so excited for his future. I am truly blessed that God chose me to be his mother. 21 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
RAISED BY SOLO PARENT I, Lee Jenkins spent most of my childhood growing up in Camden Town in the middle of London with my mum until she met and married my step dad when I was eleven; I was suffering with severe dyslexia which was not picked up in school and I was often punished producing poor work. This had a major impact on me and I did everything possible to avoid going to school relying on my bed as my place of safety. My mother was working on a city farm close by and I started helping her with the animals on weekends and during holidays from the age of six; being close with animals who did not judge me was like a breath of fresh air. I was living next to the London zoo and started to become fascinated with the strange and exotic animals that were living there. I started spending as much time as I could, visiting the animals there. At nine years old, I would skip school and climb over the fence at a corner I had found and often hid in the zoo until it was closed and climbed into the animal enclosures on a regular, mainly the Penguins. I started to get involved in the local gang culture and after being arrested by the police a few times I decided it was really stupid and left keeping me… to myself. On leaving school with very few qualifications I started applying for jobs and writing to zoos in the hope of getting a job, not giving up was the key and eventually I attained a seasonal animal keeper job at Whipsnade Zoo in Bedfordshire. So, at seventeen years old I moved from home and rented a room in a nearby village near the zoo which at this point my life changed forever….. My first task at the zoo was looking after thirteen white rhinoceroses; this was extremely hard work sweeping yards mucking out and making fresh beds for them and then having to get used to going in with them and moving them around. I realized that if I treated them like a herd of cows and was not scared of them I could go in with them and use my voice to get them to come in or go outside and they didn’t seem to like loud noises. One of the Rhinos “Arabella” had a calf called “Ginger Bell” this calf was full of mischief and was able to squeeze through the bars into the keeper area and would often come out to play with me and my wheelbarrow as I was cleaning; she was still very powerful and I still had to take care of her. After a year or so, I was moved to work on the area with elephants and chimpanzees I quickly realized how dangerous both of these species can be. On my first day, my head keeper told me to go into the elephant paddock and do a “poo pick” so off I went not thinking where the elephants were and started picking up their dung then suddenly I felt a “presence” behind me and realized there were two fully
grown elephant cows that stood up by my back, and I froze. One of the elephants picked up my wheelbarrow lifting it clear off the ground and walked off with it leaving me standing there not knowing what to do. My head keeper came to my aid and told the elephant “Kamara” to leave the wheelbarrow, which she did. (The elephant in later years killed one of her keepers).
Chimpanzees I realized are just as dangerous, if you can imagine a four-year-old with temper tantrums but having the strength of eight men! They were also quite intelligent and one of them an older female had a nasty streak and used to come up with plans to try and harm you which involved throwing feces (poo!) to hiding a mouthful of water and spitting at you. But this is when something magical happened as one of the chimpanzees had a baby and as she was a young mother and totally inexperienced she didn’t know what to do and abandoned the baby chimp. I was then tasked to help hand raise this baby chimp which was actually exactly the same as bringing up a human baby. So, at eighteen years old I found myself bringing up a different baby his name was “Louie” and when I had him I had to take him everywhere with me and would often have him loose in my car when I was driving to visit my parents and the sight of a baby chimp playing in my car when I’m driving on the motorway bemused other drivers. “Louie” started growing rapidly and within a couple of months he was walking on all fours and was beginning to vocalize to me so I had to learn chimp language. I did however get banned from the local supermarket as I had to go shopping, so I wrapped Louie in a shawl and put him in the baby carrying him on of the trolley, but halfway through my shopping an elderly couple came up to see my “Baby” having no idea it was actually a chimp, so they looked in at him and then looked at me with a very confused look and scratched their heads as they walked off. Other shoppers quickly cottoned on to my unusual baby and before long I had a crowd around me one of the managers came to see what the commotion was and explained animals were not allowed in the supermarket so I had to leave. 23 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
CREATIVITY
Urban Planning By Negus Adeyemi this environment was created for toxicity terrible food options while living in close proximity fatherless homes constant belittlement and lies from teachers leaving us to be miseducated and every day is a test constantly being called upon by substitute teachers and we raise ours arms like these arms are the answer even when we know the answer multiple choice is still filled with lead that wasn’t initially intended for the marked labeled as alphabets removed from classrooms 24 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
PARENTING
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PARENTING
PAY 12 Steps to Creating Confidence in Children at any Age PAY ATTENTION: ATTENTION Written by: Rhonda L. Thomas LCSW, DAPA
Let’s face it, parenting is one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences that an individual will encounter in their lifespan. Most individuals who have children face the challenge of bringing a new life into an uncertain world that is full of complex obstacles as well as infinite possibilities. The hope of most parents is to give their children what they did not have. It is also the desire of parents to guide their transition in becoming a resourceful, resilient and compassionate adult. In reality, there are no perfect parents, perfect children, or perfect scenario in which to raise children. Healthy parenting comes from three principles:
1. Creating confidence to parent through the healthy development of a strong self-image along with a deep understanding of personal strengths and limitations. 2. Remaining current of the latest parenting strategies that will minimize the level of stress in the household. 3. Becoming fully present (i.e. PAY ATTENTION) to your children at each stage of development.
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PARENTING
The Premise of Secure and Insecure Attachment At almost every stage, a child needs to be affirmed. How many times have you heard the following? “I got into trouble because my father thought I was a failure?” Like it or not, (You), the Parent or Caregiver write the schema for your child’s self-worth because in their eyes, you created them. Every parent should strive to create a secure and healthy attachment with their child. Attachment is like the foundation of a home. Any good contractor will suggest that prior to constructing a new home, one must construct a secure foundation, or the house will fall. The bond between the parent and child sets the stage for the development of their mind, body, emotions, relationships and values for the rest of their lives. Parents that develop secure attachments with their children have created a home in which the child feels safe, protected and close with the parent who loves them. Children that have developed secure attachments go on to demonstrate their ability to develop similar relationships throughout their lifetime. Evidence of secure attachment over time can be seen as:
Healthy Sense of Self Resilience in the face of adversity The Ability to Trust, Express Intimacy and Affection with Others The Ability to Have Long Term Relationships The Ability to Modulate Impulses and Feelings Academic Success
Children who have experienced secure attachments with their parents or caregivers have developed a solid CORE BELIEF about themselves. They unconsciously define themselves as: “I am Worthy and Life is Worth Living”. It instills a sense of hope throughout their lives. The parent or caregiver that creates the secure attachment is sensitive, dependable, trustworthy and appropriately responsive to their child’s needs. Parents that create insecure attachments with their children set the stage for Negative Core Beliefs. They unconsciously define themselves as: “I am Bad, I am unlovable, and Life is Painful”. An insecure attachment is created when the parent is not sensitive, consistent or responsive to the child’s needs. The child develops the negative core belief as a reaction to the pain of a dismissive, avoidant or abusive parental figure. Once the negative core belief is established, it is very difficult to change because the belief is rigid, automatic and associated with protection and survival. Negative Core Belief can develop into a continuum of maladaptive behaviors that range from becoming a school bully, problems with trust, resisting authority figures, poor school performance, emotional and psychological disorders, suicidal or homicidal behavior, substance abuse and/or psychosis in later adult life. Part 2 in next edition 2017 27 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
PARENTING
Why are we yelling, hitting and beating our Black Children? I’m just saying............ BE what “they” See Written by Deborah L. Tillman
I ran into someone recently who said that they did not understand why an African American woman such as myself who was on Lifetime Television as America’s Supernanny did not tell parents to “Spank” their children? Much of my research, personal experience, early childhood education and knowledge bids me to tell you and the stranger that walked up to me the TRUTH! Studies on spanking kids reveal that Jesus was right– the use of violence only creates a cycle of more violence.
A study conducted by Columbia and Princeton actually revealed a shocking fact: aggression and unwanted behaviors are directly linked to spanking. In the study, spanking only escalated the presence of unwanted behaviors at future ages, triggering what the researchers called an “arms race” requiring the parents to actually spank more, which in turn triggers more of the negative behaviors (including violent behavior), locking the parent and child into a hopeless cycle. The key to having a well-behaved child at the benchmark ages of 3, 5, and 9; the study shows the key is nonviolent parenting. This shouldn’t be a shock to us however, because Jesus taught 2,000 years ago that violence only creates a cycle that cannot be broken until one opts out of the violent system completely. This means that Jesus invites you to opt out of hitting your kids ever again. What is even more alarming is a study that contends that spanking actually damages the prefrontal cortex of the brain. The damage caused to the brain is a reduction of gray matter, which is directly linked to depression, addiction, and other mental disorders. Furthermore, and this is where things get really ironic, we must ask the question: what is this importance of gray matter in the prefrontal cortex of the brain? According to a study in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, here is the sad correlation.
“The more gray matter you have in the decision-making, thought-processing part of your brain (the prefrontal cortex), the better your ability to evaluate rewards and consequences...” 28 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
PARENTING Let that sink in: the more you spank your kids, the less gray matter they have in their prefrontal cortex. The less gray matter they have, the less they are able to evaluate how to make a wise and good decision. This means that spanking is getting you exactly what you do NOT want: a child who is less able to make good choices. Combine that with other studies showing they’re less intelligent and more depressed, and you’ve got a pretty damning case. Refraining from spanking kids doesn’t mean that a parent refrains from all the things required to teach and help a child develop– it just means that one has agreed to teach a child without the use of violence. Spanking, to be frank, is lazy parenting- it requires the least amount of thought and effort on the part of a parent when we should be willing to be more creative in order to teach our kids without damaging them. Furthermore, hitting our kids is inconsistent with the Jesus we find in the New Testament– the Jesus who declared that the gentle (meek, nonviolent) are the ones who will be blessed. When one considers the fact that studies overwhelmingly show that spanking is seriously harmful to children, that it damages their brains, lowers their IQ’s, reduces their ability to make good choices, increases their aggression/violence, and leads to a pattern of negative behaviors that simply require more violence on the part of the parent, the scientific evidence against spanking should be clear. As uncomfortable as this might make you, the result is this: Jesus wants you to stop spanking your child. Although I understand this may not sit well with many, what I know for sure is that we become who we are by the choices we make. When we know better we do BETTER! Love enough to stop hitting.
My people perish for the lack of knowledge Hosea 4:6
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TEEN / YOUNG ADULTS MOTIVATION
The Cup Half Full or Half Empty Written by Kathy Elliott
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he cup of life stands for the level of positivity. Make the cup of life work for you. Take the
necessary steps needed to create the path you wish to journey. If Mount Everest will not come to you, what do you do? Get off your butt and find Mount Everest. You possess the strength and the willpower; therefore, go the distance needed to reach your destination.
Life is what you make it. Never think life is fair because life is never fair, but still, you have to anticipate and foresee the best of any circumstance or situation. In order for a negative situation to turn around, every effort must be put forth to change the outcome of the situation. The measure of a person’s efforts and contributions can certainly modify an empty cup into a full cup. The upbeat optimist takes the risk to get the best outcome. The upbeat optimist is never afraid to journey the high and low. The optimist is not a person to sit and wait. This optimist is the gogetter, the fighter, and the warrior. The upbeat optimist always seeks a way out. 31 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
TEEN / YOUNG ADULTS MOTIVATION
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ithout any further ado, I wish for you to possess a better tomorrow. The cup of life is
filled with hope and prosperity, not negativity. See the cup of life half full instead of half empty. In any situation, choose at all times to aim for the highest. If you desire the highest, your results will only be the highest. Aiming for the lowest in life, what do you expect to get in return? The lowest obviously! In all efforts, start visualizing the cup as half full and keep a positive perspective at all times. Perceive the world as an opportunity waiting to burst open. Imagine your success awaiting your arrival. Start seeing your life as no limits, only possibilities. All your dreams are capable of coming true, but you have to choose never to give up!
A PESSIMIST SEES THE DIFFICULTY IN EVERY OPPORTUNITY, AND THE OPTIMIST SEES THE OPPORTUNITY IN EVERY DIFFICULTY. – WINSTON CHURCHILL
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POLITICAL ANALYST
A Call to Reclaim American Democracy WRITTEN BY Peggy Currelley
What sitting President begins campaigning for the next Presidential Election Campaign, when he hasn’t done anything to fulfill what he promised the people in his first campaign? On January 20, 2017, in his inaugural address, President Donald Trump publically stated that he was committed to being a president for all Americans; and
“the forgotten men and
women will be forgotten no longer.” He went on to say he’d transfer power back to the American People. Thus far, he has only demonstrated that his ego will be our demise if we remain silent.
The political chaos we’re experiencing is being orchestrated from the Oval Office in the White House. It clearly reminds me of that old saying: “Oh! What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.” On a regular basis, false statements, allegations, and inconsistencies have resulted in Americans and our Allies doubting the integrity of our government. We are viewed as the “Superpower”, a nation where democracy is the law of the land. Yet, under the Trump Administration we are failing; we’re divided as a nation. True democracy cannot function as a large corporation with benefits only for a select few. We need a president who is truthful. As Albert Einstein stated, “Whoever
is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matter.” Leading the United States is a crucial matter! 34 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
POLITICAL ANALYST
American democracy from my understanding represents a government for the people by the people. We must recognize the “red flags”. One of the first signs of a dictatorship is attacking the free press, maligning our judiciary, making attempts to reinterpret our Constitution and disregarding specific rules within our government which serve to protect our nation. Be mindful
“My way or no way” is placing us in a vulnerable position, and it’s totally unaccept able! this is just the tip of the iceberg. A president who tries to enforce,
A true leader says only what he means, his words must be impeccable. He disseminates truth and is honest, uses wisdom to bring opposing issues (and parties) together for the good of the nation as a whole; and he does not fuel disorder and division.
Under our present Administration, American democracy has been compromised. We the people, regardless of race, gender, religion, political affiliation, and socioeconomic status must stand up and be heard! Yes, our views will be different however amicable solutions can and must be reached. We can no longer sit idly by. Now is the time to stand up and fight for what we know
We are the people, the voices of American democracy, in United States of America! and believe to be truthful and right.
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Wendy’s Words of Wisdom
“Love the one you’re with!” We all have sung the song a time or two called “Love the one you’re with” by different artists with different melodies. It probably never occurred to start with loving you …Yes, “You’re the one you’re with! Women have the tendencies to forget about the act of self-love because we were programmed to be the major nurturers in everyone’s life and to make ourselves the sacrificial lambs for the sake of love for others. We begin with the family, then the men in our life, children, friends, and later our aging parents which is a given. We become high achievers in love and become grossly profound illustrators of love for others until we prefect the definition that we personally come to known as “self – love”. The process of love takes hours of accumulation for development of procedures, rules/regulations, trials/errors, morals/values…the best example should be the use of self-love though; and then we can experiment on others. We as women somehow need to use that old adage of “practice makes perfect” on self- love first. If we practice selflove then we would have a better definition of one’s ability/capability of our love level. Self-love begins to arrange the symphony of a sound structure of the do’s/don’ts, the joys/pains of what love can bring and the basics of the good, bad and ugly. Learn to understand the challenges and lessons of self-love that are needed for yourself with your passing or failing of grades before you attempt to love others; if you can’t love the one you’re with…you will be unable to love others. When you dive into the manifestation of selflove you can give the greatest gift of love to others in your life. Today, begin with your “Self- Love”…it’s not too late; no matter how young/old you are nor what past experiences you have been subjected to. Look in the mirror; really look at what you love about yourself. Now pass the physical attributes and focus/analyze on your gifts/talents that God has given you from his love. Lastly, figure out ways that maybe you can start to love yourself a little more. Start to journal your love diagnose/process so you can always use this as a reference guide for yourself to see your progress in your life before others. Be your own sacrificial lamb for self-love by “Loving the one you’re with! If you are interested in the “Self- Love” course coming up; email contact@soloparentingmag.com 37 SoLoParentingMag.com SUMMER 2017
“Most things are good, and they are the strongest things, but there Most things are good, and they are the strongest things, but there are evil things too, and you are are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favor by trying to not doing a child a favor by trying to shield him from reality. The important thing is to teach a child that good always triumph over evil. shield him from reality. Thecanimportant thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil�. Walt Disney Walt Disney
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