heroine need to stay on stage most of the time. Point of View Is it always clear who is speaking? Is there too much head hopping? How often do you alter point of view? Do you alter viewpoint character at a natural break such as the end of a chapter, rather than midway through which can confuse a reader? Would your story be stronger if you changed the viewpoint character? Would the story be more compelling if written in the first person instead of third? Does your viewpoint character know things they couldn’t know? See things they couldn’t see? Setting Is your story set in a recognisable well-described place/ s? Time period? Is it clear exactly when each scene occurs? This is particularly relevant if your story is set in different time frames. Are transitions from one setting to a different one seamless so readers know exactly where they are and when? Do you use different senses to describe locations? What’s the role of your setting? Does it affect your characters? Pacing Are short sentences used to build tension? Are longer descriptive ones used to slow the pace? Too much of either can bore your reader. Does the story sag in places? Does too much happen in too short a time frame? Plot holes Are there any gaps in the plot? Is it clear how A leads to B? You may need to add a scene so one action logically follows another. Line editing – Fixing the general style Sentence structure Is sentence structure varied? Watch for several consecutive sentences beginning with ‘he’ or ‘she’ or ‘I’. Are there too many consecutive short sentences? Are there too many consecutive long sentences? Are there too many consecutive sentences which begin with a long phrase? If it’s hard to read out loud, it needs to be changed. Details of character and plot Check plot details for continuity if you’ve changed scenes. Are your character descriptions consistent? Where a character’s name has changed, does the
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original name still appear anywhere? Is a character referred to by different names? Perhaps a first name to begin with, then later by surname, or both? This can be, confusing. Dialogue Check your dialogue is natural and believable. Read it aloud. Simplify tags if necessary. ‘Said’ is fine. Are there places where they can be left out? Are there places where they’re needed? Is there ambiguity? If there are several men speaking, it’s not enough to use ‘he said’. Do you have characters doing something impossible? For example, “How are you?” he smiled. Avoid heavy use of dialect. It can make a story hard to read. Is there a balance between dialogue and narrative? Do characters mention something they both know simply because you need to convey this information? Do characters use each other’s names too often in dialogue? Adjectives and adverbs Make sure your manuscript isn’t top heavy with your favourite adverbs and adjectives. Question the inclusion of any word ending in –ly. Try to replace them with a stronger verb. ‘She spoke loudly’ can become ‘She shouted’. If you have two adjectives before a noun, choose the stronger one and delete the other. Note that stories in women’s magazines often use adverbs so check your target publication. Clichés Clichés are best avoided. Find your own metaphors and similes. Passive voice Try to avoid using passive voice. Watch for overuse of “was”, “were” and “that”. Show don’t tell Readers like to work things out for themselves. Don’t spell it all out. Leave something to the imagination. Physical senses – sight, touch, smell, taste, sound Include several senses when you describe a character or scene. Readability How does your story/chapter look on the page? Is there white space to break it up? Solid print consisting of long paragraphs can look unwelcoming to a reader. Copyediting – Fixing the nuts and bolts Check for spelling mistakes. Be careful of words that look similar but have different meanings – for example