Jenna Tilley

PROFESSION: Volunteer assistant farm manager, board secretary and instructor at Parker Learning Gardens; seamstress and farm-sitter

COMMUNITY: Coburg/North Eugene

PARTNER: Nathan Tilley, farm manager, director and instructor at Parker Learning Gardens

CHILDREN: Stepdaughter Maya, age 13, and son Ronan, age 1

Family comes first.

All families are unique. Tell us about yours. My husband and I worked at Agrarian Ales, a family-friendly farmhouse brewery, for six years together, which is where we met. After we both ended our previous relationships, we realized we had already had the experience of working on physically and mentally difficult tasks with one another at the brewery, and that we could get through some of life’s hardest times with one another while still enjoying each other’s company along the way. Thus began our amazing partnership.

I have been deeply involved in my stepdaughter’s life since she was five years old. I moved in with Nate and Maya when she was nine years old and started helping her with learning to read and write, to catch up so she could attend school for the first time since preschool. I came from a blended family myself and immediately fell so in love with this girl that she became a daughter to me. I believe it is amazing to have so many people who love, care about and support you no matter what.

Maya loves reading books and has a high reading level. She’s a talented artist, especially painting, and is doing very well in public school. Maya enjoys hiking and camping, road trips and visiting new places. She is a fantastic helper and loves to bake in the kitchen and assist us in the Children’s Garden Club at Parker Learning Gardens. It has been an honor to watch her grow into the young woman she is now at age 13. I’m so proud of her and excited to continue to support her in her dreams as she gets older.

Nate and I married Nov. 1, 2020, and decided to grow our family soon after. Ronan was born in August 2021 and has filled our lives with so much joy and laughter, awe and sleepless nights. Ronan is crazy about his big sister and enjoys giving her snuggles in the mornings and goodnight kisses. He misses her when she is gone, yelling her name up the stairs when breakfast is ready.

Ronan loves his new daycare, where he is learning Spanish a few days a week, and making new friends while we get some work done. He is a mama’s boy who loves being outside, enjoys animals, reading books, climbing and eating good food. He also enjoys helping us with farm chores, especially with the chickens and pigs. Ronan especially likes the Wonder Gardening for Tots class at Parker Learning Gardens that we teach together with him.

We love to involve our children in everything we do, to provide them a well-rounded and balanced life with physical activity, healthy organic food, a passion for nature and the health of our planet, and a high quality education with the opportunity to learn multiple languages. It is our goal to provide stability, reliability, love and support for our children and teach them how to incorporate these things into their own lives.

Every family has its own traditions, rituals or inside jokes. What are some of yours?

One time I was talking to my husband about a grain mill that we could use for some Painted Mountains Heirloom Corn we grew into cornmeal. I had thoroughly explained the entirety of the electric mill that our neighbor has that I wanted to borrow for this project. He looked up at me from what he was working on, and said “So, it’s a hand-crank?” and my daughter and I started laughing so hard. I couldn’t even respond, it was so far off from the specific description of the electric grain mill I had just given him. Now when someone is clearly not listening, my daughter and I say, “So, it’s a hand-crank?”

When did you know you wanted to be a mom?

My whole life and growing up in a blended family, I was open to and familiar with that not necessarily meaning I birthed the child. Although I’m pretty sure it takes longer than four years to prepare mentally and emotionally for having a teenager! But are you ever really ready for a teenager?

Tell us about one of your proudest mom moments. When my daughter played her electric guitar for everyone at our baby shower and she, my mom and I all sang a song together. This took a lot of guts and I was so proud of her to have learned the song and overcome her stage fright enough to play it. After years of guitar lessons, this was such a special way to celebrate her new baby brother.

MOM's Favorite...

Tell us about your favorite…

…words to live by: Some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet.

…place to find some peace & quiet: The woods

…binge-worthy TV or podcast: Call the Midwife

…way to get out of making dinner: Planning dinner at a friend or family’s house.

…time-saving app or digital tool: Meta Business Suite

Now tell us about one of your most humbling mom moments. Potty training a 17-monthold is no joke. The moments you find yourself stripping poop- and pee-covered clothes off trying to avoid contaminating your face and the rest of the house, while also not getting upset so that the toddler doesn’t think they’re in trouble for going potty…nothing could be more humbling.

We’re all moms so we know that no one is perfect all of the time, or even some of the time. Tell us about your most recent “Mother of the Year” moment. You know, like forgetting to pick the kids up from school. On one of my most sleep-deprived weeks of my life, I left the sleeping baby in the car, completely forgetting about him because my daughter and I were having so much fun chatting on our way to have lunch with some of our friends. My husband had loaded him in the car seat for me, and he was completely silent in the back seat the whole ride. My daughter had just started riding in the front seat like the week before this, which was also new and distracting. I ran out during our lunch realizing I had left him, and I cried and called my husband after sending our friends on their way with Maya to the bookstore, telling them I would meet them there. My husband was so supportive, and I was reassured that my baby was completely okay and very happy to have me rescue him. I remember Nate saying, “Well, you won’t do it again because you won’t forget this.” That has been true to this day. Still felt like the worst mom in the world, and will likely never let go of that guilt.

What is something you swore you would never do before kids that you now do? Disposable diapers, after one whole year of cloth. In what way are your children like you? How are they different? Maya takes after her dad and is more of a quiet person until you get to know her. When she’s comfortable with someone, she tends to be silly and light-hearted. I’ve always been outgoing, and I struggle to take a step back and allow her the space and time to adjust to things at her own pace. It’s a good balance of strong encouragement (you know to ask where a bathroom is located, or order your own food) and patience, patience, patience.

Ronan is much more like me so far: loud, independent, stubborn, goofy…he’s even showing signs of my personality coming through. The other morning he adjusted the corner of the bathroom rug that had flipped over — he’s only one!

You know you’re a mom when you hear yourself say, “______________.” If you heard me, then please respond.

No one works harder than mom.

We know that being a mom is a full-time job. How do you balance (or not) motherhood, activities, work, volunteering, household responsibilities, and life in general? What sometimes falls through the cracks? I have two calendars and a planner. My husband and I sit down once a week and transfer anything on the calendars onto the next week and the next one. We talk about the dinner calendar (okay, so that’s three calendars), and if our daily schedules for the week need to be adjusted accordingly for an appointment or errands.

We have daily schedules that divide the day into two halves, whomever is on morning duty gets up when the alarm goes off, makes breakfast, makes Maya’s lunch, takes Maya to school and Ronan to daycare, and makes lunch for the two of us at home (where we work). The other person picks the kids up, does errands as needed, and makes dinner. We each have an even number of days we do each shift during the week, making our availability more flexible for work. Our schedule also includes optional time for self-care such as exercise, bathing or rest as needed.

Tell us about your work or volunteerism outside of the home. I volunteer my time as assistant farm manager, instructor and board secretary for Parker Learning Gardens. I also run a side business doing sewing alterations and repairs. It is my goal to have a paid position through Parker Learning Gardens this year, but nobody ever said it was easy to start a non-profit from the ground up. We’re passionate about teaching children and families in our community to be as sustainable as possible, to care about well-rounded

MOMs Love Local

We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations. Share your favorite…

…shop to pick up a gift for a friend: Market of Choice… honestly, I’m already there anyway!

…coffee spot: Southpine Bakery

…spot to get a good workout: Coburg Fit Club

…place to treat yourself to a mani/pedi other personal service: Luxe Nails & Spa

…restaurant to take the kids: North Fork Public House, Mezza Luna Pizzeria

…restaurants for a date night: B2 Wine Bar, Bao Bao House, Tacovore, Izakaya Meiji, Marche, Planktown (Springfield), George & Violets Steakhouse (Springfield)

…take-out, food truck or quick bite: Sammitch, Taco El Paisa (Coburg), Taqueria Mi Pueblo

…boutique to find a new shirt or home décor item: St.Vincent de Paul on Chad Dr.

…event in your community: County Line Flowers summer benefit concerts (Harrisburg)

…any other local places you love: Vitality Bowls, The Human Bean, Parker Learning Gardens, Camas Swale Farm, Lane County Farmers Market organic nutrition and to be good environmental stewards. It’s worth every volunteer hour to see the awe and wonder in a student’s eyes throughout every single class or workshop I teach.

What have you learned professionally that has helped you as a mom? To give myself some grace. I have an extremely high standard for professionalism and sometimes it’s actually better to set reasonable expectations and be okay with the outcome knowing I did my best. Tell us about a recent achievement you’re proud of, or a personal passion or talent. I overcame postpartum depression recently, and it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It took a lot of work, self-love, self-care, transparency with friends and family, admitting to myself that I cannot do everything I used to and accepting that, lots of therapy, remembering to utilize all of the mental health tools I have gained up to this point in life, and asking for help…a lot of help. I learned about the concept of having so many spoons when you wake up in the morning, and with each hard thing you do, you have to give up a spoon. I was running out of spoons by 7 to 9 a.m. most days of the week. After blood tests to check my hormones and for any nutrient deficiencies, doctors visits, midwife visits, classes, hangouts with friends, and way more TV than I’d like to admit, I’m feeling like I have overcome maybe one of the most difficult things I will ever have to endure.

If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.

Tell us about your upbringing. How did it shape the mother you are today? My mother made sure I knew how to run a business and be as professional as possible. This made me a hireable leader who can make decisions quickly. This also made me efficient, able to prioritize and very organized. My father instilled a passion for nature, survival skills, sustainability and having fun. Both of my parents were always the best at what they chose to do. This carries over to me as well, but I have observed how these skill sets and ways of being have positively and negatively affected both of my parents over time, and I have adapted my own set of stubborn rules for life from the examples they gave me. I’m currently re-assessing my set of rules, hoping to enable myself to have a little more wiggle room. I’m human and not perfect. I’m often sleep-deprived and overstimulated, and I am my own worst critic. I’m learning to make some adjustments and lighten up on myself so that my kids can watch and learn from my example someday too. I want to be a good role model for them on how to live a healthy lifestyle and the importance of finding your own balance.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? I birthed a child and breastfed him. Makes me think I need to go bungee jumping or something!

Which good habit do you wish you started earlier? Exercising regularly.

What is one thing you never had that you want for your kids? Only organic food.

If you could instantly have one new skill (i.e. foreign language, musical talent, eyes in the back of your head, etc.), what would it be?

I would be an incredible banjo player, not just a mediocre one.

What’s your superpower? I actually would be a super villain… like one of those cheesy super villains who are just filling other villains’ spaceships with silly string, or replacing the lava in volcanoes with caramel. My super villain name is Veronimous Shrug. I’ve always wanted to draw/write comic books.

Name one thing that is part of your daily routine that you just can’t live without. Fresh organic eggs in the morning.

Tell us something about you that would surprise your kids (or your partner). I secretly love Arby’s Beef N’ Cheddar sandwiches.

What keeps you sane? Making time for exercising with friends.

What is your least/most favorite household chore? Least favorite: dishes. Favorite: washing the laundry…not folding it, though.

What’s your guilty pleasure? (dark chocolate hidden in the pantry, TJ Maxx, daily latte habit?) Dark chocolate cocoa with oat milk

What is your greatest extravagance? Brand new books

Who is your favorite fictional hero? Captain Planet

Outside of your family members, who/what inspires you to be better? My hard-working farm-mom friends.

What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? Go skinny dipping or bathe in a river/stream/creek.

They say that everyone has a book in them. What’s the title of your book? The Chaos Coordinator

Listen to mom.

Is motherhood what you expected? What surprised you the most? No, it’s much harder. I didn’t realize I’d lose so much sleep and be worried so much.

What’s the best advice you’ve received from another mom? You have to be okay to be able to take care of others.

What advice would you give your younger mom self? What do you wish you knew then that you know now? Don’t be so dead set on everything going the way you have planned; it’s likely it won’t.

What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is. When you say, “I don’t have time for….” try replacing it with “I am choosing not to prioritize….” and see how it resonates with you. If you feel guilty, then you’re likely not choosing the best choice for you or your family.

Audrey Benson Behavior Supervisor

922 NW Circle Blvd, Ste 160-112 Corvallis, OR 97330 kidsnw.org | 1.888.360.0360