backyard beer
Around the bend On July 8 citizens of Bend, Ore., held a memorial service to mourn 109 victims of euthanasia. These victims weren’t human, though. They were geese. City officials in Bend decided to euthanize the geese with gas in order to keep them from overrunning city parks. The decision was and remains controversial in a state that since 1997 has allowed the physician-assisted suicide of humans. “I think a memorial like this will help people console each other,” Bend resident Foster Fell told the Bend Bulletin. “I, myself, in the last few days have been nursing a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat.”
Arrested development
memorial: Ryan Brennecke/The Bulletin • baldwin: handout • illustration: krieg barrie • steel reserve: handout CREDIT
Paul Baldwin of Portsmouth, N.H., should be thankful that a recent comment didn’t lead to contempt-of-court charges. Although for Baldwin, facing charges would be nothing new: It was his 154th lifetime arrest, Baldwin told the judge he didn’t need a lawyer to represent him because, “I’ve been in this court more than you have.” This time Baldwin was taken into custody for stealing two 18-packs and one 12-pack of beer from a convenience store. Twelve days before his most recent arrest, the 49-year-old had finished up a one-year stint in prison for stealing a $1.99 beer.
When in Rome... Perhaps trying to give the United Kingdom a run for status of nanniest nation, Italy is pressing forward with scores of “public security” laws meant to protect Italians from themselves. Most recently, a town near Milan instituted $200 fines for anyone who would be so presumptuous as to sit on the steps of one of the town’s monuments. But Milan isn’t alone. All told, about 150 decorum laws have been passed in Italy since Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi took office and encouraged local councils to outlaw things like building sandcastles on the beaches in a town near Venice, kissing in a moving vehicle in a town near Naples, or feeding stray cats in Cesena.
Bad hair day Every dog has his day. And perhaps every dog of a hairstyle too. Pittsburgh residents bold enough to sport mullets were rewarded for their questionable fashion sense when on July 5 the Pittsburgh Zoo gave out discounts for mulleted patrons. Known by pejorative nicknames like “The Kentucky Waterslide,” “Business in the front, party in the back,” and “Hockey Hair” in Canada, the mullet is a hairstyle requiring a male (and more rarely a female) to keep bangs short, the sides high and tight while letting the hair on the rear of the head grow long. The zoo awarded a behind-the-scenes tour to the “best mullet” at the event. Some runners-up were offered free haircuts.
What may seem for some like the nexus of entrepreneurship and community service is, for Dwayne Smith of Fort Worth, Texas, simply a nuisance. The Cowtown native is complaining about a neighbor who has a Pepsi machine in his backyard. The catch: Drop in six quarters and press one of the buttons and the Pepsi machine dispenses a 12-ounce can of Steel Reserve malt liquor. Smith told a local television station that neighborhood folks stop by at all hours of the night, slip into the homeowner’s backyard and buy beer. For Smith, the problem happens when thirsty night owls dispose of the cans in his yard. Police have issued warnings to the beer-selling homeowner.
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