Special Section · May 15, 2016
Parenting BY
MOMAHA.COM
A RESOURCE FOR PARENTS WITH KIDS OF ALL AGES · CHOOSING A PEDIATRICIAN · READING WITH YOUR CHILD · TRANSITIONING TO HIGH SCHOOL · SNAPPING BETTER PHOTOS
Claire Stibbe — winner of the Omaha World-Herald’s Cutest Baby Contest. Meet her and her family on Page 5.
So much cuteness: Five pages of entrants in the World-Herald’s Cutest Baby Contest. Pages 5-9
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THE BEST PLACE FOR KIDS. So many parents choose Children’s Physicians because our practice is custom-made for babies (and big brothers and sisters). That’s because treating children is all we do. Energetically. Expertly. With heart and a smile. ChildrensPhysiciansOmaha.org
• Same-day sick visits • Extended hours for well-checks • Online scheduling, immunization records and growth charts via Children’s Connect, our unique online health portal • Exclusive backing by the specialists at Children’s Hospital & Medical Center
CALL 1.800.833.3100 TODAY TO FIND A PEDIATRICIAN AND SCHEDULE A FREE GET-TO-KNOW-YOU VISIT.
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Content sponsored by Children’s Physicians
Choosing the right pediatrician for your child
ISTOCK PHOTO
By Children’s PhysiCians As a parent, you want the best health care available for your child. However, choosing the right health care provider can be a difficult task. As a new parent, you may be struggling over how to choose the right pediatrician, or even if you should use a pediatrician as opposed to a general practitioner. Following are considerations for your child’s care.
PEDIATRICIANS ARE NOT YOUR AVERAGE PHYSICIAN According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, pediatricians spend anywhere from three to six years in pediatric residency training after medical school. Other doctors can spend as few as three months in pediatric training. This means pediatricians receive up to 24 times more training in the specialized care of children than other doctors. Because they care only for children, pediatricians are able to focus on the
latest research and changes in pediatric medicine. They have the skills to treat a wide range of ailments, from basic childhood illnesses to more serious diseases, and they are experienced not only in the physical, but also in the emotional and social development of children. A pediatric office and staff will tend to be geared more toward children, understanding that children are not simply small adults.
STARTING YOUR SEARCH Plan to begin looking for a pediatrician during pregnancy and make a decision during the seventh or eighth month. This allows you to make an informed decision instead of one made in the haste and excitement following the birth. This will allow the pediatrician to examine your child within the first 24 hours after birth, while you and your baby are still in the hospital. Consider a provider who follows
the medical home model where care is focused on all aspects of the child’s well-being, not just on medical needs. For example, a medical home provider may offer lactation consultants and/or behavioral health services in the office, oversee referrals to other medical providers, act as a liaison with school or child care providers and offer patient care coordinators who can assist with community resources, education or other needs.
GATHER REFERRALS Ask your own doctors, family members, co-workers and friends for recommendations; and check with your health insurance provider to see which pediatricians are covered under your plan. Verify that the doctor is board certified, and ask if he or she has an independent practice or belongs to a network of physicians, which hospitals or other medical facilities the doctor is
associated with and where the doctor’s office is located. You should also check with your state medical board to see if any pediatricians that you are interested in have been disciplined for wrongdoing.
MEET YOUR TOP CHOICES
Finally, schedule a “get to know you” meeting with any prospective pediatrician. Some pediatricians do not charge for this initial visit. Prior to the visit, compile a list of questions to ask the doctor. Interview as many pediatricians as necessary until you find one that is trustworthy, compassionate and shares similar views and philosophies on caring for your child. By following these guidelines, you will help ensure that your child receives the best health care available. For more information on how to choose the right pediatrician, call the Children’s Physicians referral line at 800-336-0304.
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KIDDIE CHAOS
I’m the over-scheduled parent I swore I’d never become, and I’m OK with it
Tips, apps for better mobile phone photography
By molly Cavanaugh
By Jamie Davis smith
MOMAHA.COM
THE WASHINGTON POST
Friends had always warned me that the whole extracurricular enterprise could be a slippery slope. It starts innocently enough. You enroll the kids in an after-school class to give them something fun to do with friends. Next thing you know, a flier comes home about signing up for some athletic opportunity and you think, “Sure! It would be good to get your kids interested in team play.” Then you realize it’s also time for swimming lessons to start up again. And this whole time, you’ve managed to forget that dance class you registered the kids in ages ago. The next thing you know, you don’t have a single free day left on the calendar for what seems like from now until forever. This is how it happened. This is how I found myself the borderline over-scheduled parent I swore I would never become. I was proud of my underachieving approach to parenting. But mom pals with older kids would just knowingly smile and say, “Just wait. You’ll see.” Oh, how right they were. Please accept my most humble apologies for any smugness I showed over the last four years at the fact that my kids were doing nothing and liked it. I realized this jumble of a schedule I’ve just laid out is a mere drop in the bucket compared to what some parents out there deal with on a weekly basis, for months on end — year in and year out. Selfishly, I had hoped my children would show no real aptitude for athletics or any other form of fan participation interests and would instead fall into the far more autonomous group-based elective activities such as robotics, debate team or theater. You know, the kinds of interests they can support without too much parental oversight. When fan attendance is appropriate, it takes place inside out of the Midwest elements. I love my son and daughter, and I will support them in any activity they wish to pursue. You know, like piano lessons or reading workshops. It’s my own fear and prejudice that makes me reluctant about the sportier side of fun. I was terrible at soccer and quit tennis on the first day of tryouts. I never even gave track and field a chance because I’m such a lazy runner. But the reason I know all this is because my parents let me try. I’m sure they didn’t get much enjoyment from freezing their butts off watching me play soccer badly, but they braved the elements and supported me while I gave it a whirl. Now it’s my turn to show up and cheer for as far as the “Month-At-A-Glance” calendar can see. But someday when my days, weeks and months are yawning out in front of me with not so much as a doctor’s appointment to keep me busy, I’ll be aching for the kiddie chaos that is my life now. So what if the next 15 years are spent sitting on the sidelines? Really, there’s nothing else I would rather be doing.
Ask any photographer what the best camera is, and you will likely receive the same answer: the one you have with you. Fortunately, most parents always have a camera with them in the form of their phone. Most mobile phone cameras are very good and capable of producing print-worthy images with a few quick tweaks in the way you shoot and edit. Julia Kelleher of Jewel Images is a family photographer who teaches mobile photography through CreativeLive. Here, she shares her top tips for getting better pictures of your children with your camera’s phone: » Set focus and exposure in camera. Touch the camera’s screen on your main subject until a yellow box appears. This step is very fast and will make a huge difference in how your photos come out. If your child frequently looks too dark
*** Molly Cavanaugh of Omaha’s Channel 94.1 FM’s Big Party Show is a mom to two children living in Chicago. She writes weekly for Momaha.com.
» Camera+: This iPhone app, a favorite of many photographers for use in mobile photography, offers many advanced options for in-phone editing. Camera+ also has great features such as built-in image stabilization, a self-timer and an integrated flashlight function that lets users avoid using a flash in low-light situations. For those who love filters, Camera+ allows users to stack filters and control how heavily they are applied.
in photos, tapping her face on the screen before snapping the photo will brighten her up. This tip also helps ensure that your child is in focus. » Turn on the grid. In most phones’ settings, there is a feature to turn on a grid with nine squares and four intersecting points, like a Tic-Tac-Toe board with equally sized spaces. The interesting points on the grid are places where viewers’ eyes tend to land. Placing your main subject at one of these points will instantly improve your photo. Photographers frequently use this compositional technique, called the Rule of Thirds. If you keep the grid turned on, you can effortlessly use it for your photos. Other compositional rules for taking great photos, particularly of children, can be found at www.clickinmoms.com. » Use indirect light to take a picture in a dimly lit room. Flash can create harsh shadows. If a room is dark, light the person from the side instead of using the
» Snapseed: This free, popular editing app is available for iPhone and Android. One of the best features of Snapseed is its new Stacks feature, which lets users track the edits they make and go back and undo any they don’t like. If you saturate the colors in your photo as a first step and later decide you overdid it, you can go back and tone down the colors later. Snapseed also has several advanced editing features.
flash. According to Kelleher, “This tip is great for when you’re out at dinner with friends or family, and the room is dimly lit with candles. » Use color to impart feeling into your images. Basic familiarity with the color wheel can make a big difference in your photos. “I will often photograph children with complementary colors because it makes them seem alive and happy and very vivacious,” Kelleher says. A color wheel quickly shows complementary color combinations. For example, you can see that if your son is wearing an orange shirt, placing him in front of a blue wall or against a bright blue sky will create a vibrant image. It’s nearly impossible get a perfect photo straight out of the camera, and even professional photographers make a few tweaks to their photos to improve them. These easy-to-use apps can help make your pictures go from good to fantastic:
» Photoshop: Adobe’s Photoshop is the best known and most widely used editing program by professional photographers. There are three free Photoshop apps available for iPhone and Android that bring many of Photoshop’s powerful editing tools to your phone. Photoshop Express allows users to crop, adjust color and change the brightness of photos, and has filters. The free Photoshop Fix allows retouching photos by removing stray hairs, wayward toys and even photo-bombers. Photoshop Mix allows users to combine photographs, which makes for fun possibilities.
» ProCamera: This app for iPhone has several advanced features and some very practical ones as well. Night Camera helps users get photos in low-light conditions, Fullscreen Trigger helps users get the shot quickly by tapping anywhere on the screen, and a 6x zoom allows users to increase the zoom capabilities of their built-in camera.
The best way to figure out how best to take photos is just keep snapping. With so many available apps and the portability of smart phones, the possibilities are endless. *** Jamie Davis Smith is a Washington, D.C., mother of four. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
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WORLD-HERALD’S CUTEST BABY CONTEST WINNER
Year-old sister enjoys her brothers’ activities By Ashlee Coffey WORLD-HERALD STAFF WRITER
On any given day in the Stibbe household, you’ll likely hear lots of giggles from 1-year-old Claire as she is entertained by her three older brothers, twins Sam and Jack, 5, and Eli, 3. She particularly loves watching her brothers wrestle each other. “They pretty much do anything they can to make her laugh,” said their mom, Trisha. When Trisha and her husband, Adam, found out they were expecting a fourth child, they assumed it would be another boy. So when the couple learned their next child would be a girl, they were elated. “My husband was over the moon. He really wanted to experience having a little girl, too,” Trisha said. “We were very happy.” She said raising a daughter has been very different compared to raising three boys. “There’s just a different bond. I never believed other parents who said that,” she said. “You love (your children) the same, but you love them different. I see more of myself in (Claire). For my husband, he’ll constantly joke about his boys becoming older, but with her, he says she’s going to be his baby girl forever. She’s a daddy’s girl through and through. We probably coddle her a little too much, but she’s our last and we know that.” Claire, who has Down syndrome, is one of the easiest babies around and has a good sense
M E G A N FA R M E R / T H E W O R L D - H E R A L D
Claire plays with her brothers, Eli Stibbe, left, and Jack Stibbe.
M E G A N FA R M E R / T H E W O R L D - H E R A L D
Claire Stibbe, 1, smiles as she is picked up by her father, Adam Stibbe. of humor, Trisha said. Claire also was born with a hole in her heart — called an atrioventricular canal defect. Trisha said the condition has a
99.9 percent surgical cure rate, but Claire doesn’t need surgery, and her doctor doesn’t believe she ever will. “She’s our medical marvel. Her
therapists are rewriting her goals constantly because she’ll surpass them every single week,” Trisha said. “Every parent thinks their child is the best and most amazing… but it’s taken on a whole new level this time. It’s been a learning curve.” The three brothers don’t realize their sister is different, Trisha said. They simply adore her — particularly 3-year-old Eli, who has a very special bond with his sister. “We were very nervous, because he’s a total mama’s boy. I was nervous about how he’d react to her. But from the moment he saw her at the hospital, he said, ‘This is my baby.’ And it’s been like that since,” Trisha said. “Sam and Jack are maybe a little more
indifferent towards her because she doesn’t do much yet. But they love her. I’ve never once seen any jealousy.” The family was ecstatic that Claire was named the Omaha World-Herald’s cutest baby. “It was a fun thing to do, and we thought, why not? I love that all of Omaha realized how cute she is,” Trisha said. “As excited as I was, I don’t think anyone was more excited than the grandmas, though.” Amid three crazy boys, Claire is the couple’s calming source and has completed their family. “I’m so satisfied that this is the family I’ll grow old with,” Trisha said. “It’s fun to watch the sibling bond grow and develop.”
Meet some of the entrants inthe Omaha World-Herald’s Cutest Baby Contest. See all of the entries at Omaha.com/cutest
Curlee Brazell
16 months old Micole Harms-Brazell & Curlee Brazell
Isabel Guadalupe Soto de Montes 2 weeks old Adriana Soto de Montes & Juan Carlos Montes Flores
William Remmen
4 months old Natalie Christine Dodds & Kelvin Remmen
Bentley Needles 11 weeks old Brandy Pappas & Masen Needles
Quinn Monroe Rudloff 1 year old Elizabeth Ann Nuncio & Jesse Rudloff
Annabelle Brooke Marquez 5 weeks old Kelly Oseka Marquez & Nick Marquez
Rowyn Rae Vande Berg 3 months old Kayla Gee Vande Berg & Aaron Vande Berg
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Emma Grace Arnold
Charlotte “Charlie” LeMar 11 months old Carrie & Nate LeMar
1 year old Sara Harvey & Zachary Straney
1 year old Christina & Michael Frederick
Nicholas Fangman
Preston Ruhga
Benjamin Oldridge
Oliver Bryant
10 months old Whitney Bennett & Nathan Arnold
Zane Straney
Landon Frederick
Gabriel Struble
Evangeline McCaulley
Harper Steinacher
3 months old Rylee Struble & Austin Mort
1 year old Michelle & Richard McCaulley
7 months old Craig & Dave Steinacher
Ava Davis
Ma’Laya Smith
Maecy Butler
5 months old Keri Nichelson & Alex Fangman
9 months old Katie & Mark Ruhga
12 months old Jennifer & Thad Oldridge
1 year old Kelli & Seth Bryant
7 months old Meredith & Justin Davis
1 year old Alexis Burns & Melvin Smith
10 months old Angie & TJ Butler
Maijor Augustus Harris
Parker McClain
Kennedy Moore
Mila White
Liam Theisen
Cooper Rau
Ashton Wills
6 months old Cierra Harris
6 months old Ginny & Brad McClain
11 months old Jennifer & Joshua Moore
Trinity Henry
Eleanor Eileen Ramsbottom 4 weeks old Katie & Jake Ramsbottom
Kaylee Eisenmenger
14 months old Lisa & Adam Eisenmenger
4 months old Trisha & David Olson
3 months old Faith Kurtyka & LaRue Diehl
5 months old Adrienne & Ryan Luedders
1 year old Teresa & Jimmy Masters
Skyler Hajek
Adalynn Clausen
Janai Walker
Oliver Grant
Harrison Broderick
Maddox Leal
Chloe Rudiger
11 months old LaTisha & Bernard Henry
6 weeks old Whitney & Chase White
6 months old Maddie & Parker Theisen
1 year old Amy & Matt Rau
1 year old Diana & Lucas Wills
Mila Olson
Juniper Marie Diehl
Sawyer Luedders
Cameron Masters
7 months old Amy & Kevin Hajek
7 months old Alexis Lowe & Matthew Clausen
1 year old Tanisha Walker
8 months old Samantha & Joshua Grant
Oscar Clark
Kadence Ryan
George Spencer Anzalone
Judah DeFoe
2 months old Candice & Jeff Clark
9 months old Kelli & Jason Ryan
8 months old Laura & Warren Anzalone
2 months old Britani & Adam DeFoe
6 months old Shelbie Miller & Doug Broderick
11 months old Candi Kadar & Michael Leal
3 months old Sarah & Clint Rudiger
Zoey Cupps
Kalani Henrichsen
Nixon Church
18 months old Kristi Meneely & Michael Cupps
4 months old Crystal & Jeffrey Henrichsen Sr.
7 months old Brandi Flink & Nick Church
OMAHA WORLD-HERALD
Desmond Michael Grey
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6 months old Tiffany Linstrom & Carl Christianson
9 months old Samantha Klitzke & Michael Bishop
Zella Bowers
10 weeks old Elizabeth Schappers & Jake Bowers
Milani Dominguez
Xena Haug
Stella Danenhauer
Hudson MacCallum 5 months old Kylee Schuman & Josh MacCallum
Camilla Naveen Linares
6 months old Kayla Shafer & Bobby Danenhauer
Elsie French
Elliot Edward Heinert
Aubriella Urban
2 years old Kanta Chumphaughiran & Zane Haug
Aria Bishop
6 months old Alysa & Clinton French
2 months old Elizabeth & Cody Heinert
8 months old Briana Strampe & Tyler Urban
Amelia Petersen
Georgia Dietz
Camilla South
7 months old Kayla & Michael Petersen
5 months old Julia & Steve Dietz
WHERE OMAHA MOMS CONNECT
Omaha Moms!
Hear from other local moms, parenting experts and pediatricians on momaha.com l Special online features, forums & contests l Great food, entertainment & craft ideas l Our weekly Thursday newsletter, featuring calendar and event listings, upcoming momaha events, weekly blogs from pediatricians and parenting experts
7 months old Victoria Moore & Edgar Dominguez
Kyson Bales
Acey Rose Barrios Fears 1 year old Rosemarie Barrios & Tavaris Fears
4 months old Monica Pleiss-Muckey & Todd Muckey
Isla Staiert
Cincere Terrell
Isaac Townley
10 months old Emily Wilson & Cicero Terrell
9 months old Anne Brennan & Caleb Townley
Lennon Nielsen
Cooper Zach
4 months old Amy Lindsley & Ryan Bales
10 months old Alejandra Calderon & Eleazar Linares
9 months old Brenda MacIntyre & Aaron Staiert
Berklee Burner
James Cutler
4 months old Andie & Kyle Burner
8 months old Stephanie & Eric Cutler
4 months old Morgan & Andrew Nielsen
Vivian Muckey
5 months old Sydney & Aaron Zach
8 months old Jill & Kyle South
LET YOUR KIDS INSPIRE YOU TO QUIT. Beatrice, Quit at age 37 New York
There are a lot of reasons to quit smoking. Don’t stop trying until you find yours. Beatrice did it. You can too. For free help, call 1-800 QUIT-NOW (784-8669).
NEBRASKA TOBACCO QUITLINE
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4 skills new high school students need to excel and how parents can help By heAther hAmilton MOMAHA.COM
For many students, high school represents a significant gateway into the adult world. For perhaps the first time, students are asked to work independently, take full responsibility for their actions and make huge decisions regarding life after high school. Understandably, all of these pressures can weigh on students — and even parents. Teachers, students and parents alike are more equipped than ever to deal with the challenges of high school and — with a little bit of preparation — to excel in their new role.
1. LEARN TO LISTEN
C T W F E AT U R E S
Don’t neglect baby teeth Oral hygiene is important — even for infants By Alex BurnhAm CTW FEATURES
“How soon should I start taking care of my kid’s teeth?” The question has plagued parents for decades, and a recent report from the Pennsylvania Dental Association provides insight. Parents might overlook the importance of oral hygiene for babies, considering that children don’t have crowned teeth at birth — and they lose them anyway. However, humans are born with teeth, but the dentition is beneath the gums. According to the American Dental Association, a baby’s 20 primary teeth are already present in the jaws at birth and emerge at about six months. Primary teeth, also known as deciduous or “baby” teeth, assist the eventual adult teeth by keeping spaces in the jaw. And besides being placeholders for later teeth, deciduous teeth can decay if not cleaned. Parents should maintain cleanliness in a child’s mouth and apply a minimal amount of fluoride toothpaste
when brushing. According to the PDA, parents should monitor a child’s teeth brushing, even when the child does it himself or herself. Parents should take a child to the dentist within the first year of the child’s birth. This ensures assistance at a young age and can set the stage for good oral habits in the future. Besides providing an examination of the crowned teeth, the dentist can give parents valuable advice on how to maintain a child’s oral hygiene. For additional tips, parents should never put their child to bed with a bottle of milk or juice. Plus, children should stop drinking from a bottle as soon as possible. Instead, parents should have their children drink from a cup. This is to reduce pressure from biting down on a bottle. According to the PDA, the most important takeaway is that parents should get their child to a dentist as soon as possible, and that the overall health of baby teeth helps to determine good oral health in the future.
One of the most important things a high school student can do to ensure success is to learn to be a good listener. Many grades are lowered because a student doesn’t follow directions, omitting crucial parts of the assignment or losing easy points on a simple step. To develop listening skills in yourself or your child, focus on being an active learner. To do this, pay attention to the speaker and avoid the easy distractions of phones, outside noise, etc. Respond to their words via body language to show you’re listening and further engage yourself in the process. Respond with feedback or questions when appropriate, and keep an open mind. Ultimately, your ability to take time and focus will pay off.
2. WORK ON ORGANIZATION Successful people are organized, whether they’re in high school or the middle of their professional career. Knowing what’s on your plate and what’s coming will be crucial to your ability to accomplish tasks in a timely manner. If you’re a naturally organized person, you’re ahead of the game. If not – well, there’s still time! Begin by finding a planner or planning app to keep your schedule straight. You’ll want to plan time for studying, recreation and learning opportunities, while being careful not to overwhelm yourself. Make to-do lists and keep track of assignments. Find a system that works for you. Students and parents can work together on these skills, relying on one another for support and guidance. You can also organize the family schedule so everyone has time to get his or her work done without distracting one another.
3. KEEP AN OPEN MIND One of the most important things you can do in high school is to spend time trying new and interesting things. A closed mind won’t get you very far, and you may end up missing out on opportunities that could lead to bigger and better things.
Parents and students both benefit from keeping an open mind — about the learning process, opportunities after high school and how a student might operate within a high school. Focus on maintaining open lines of communication to ease potentially rocky transitions and ensure that everyone is on board. Communicate fairly, but try to be responsive (whether you’re a student or a parent) to the needs, concerns and wants of the other party involved.
4. LEARN MORE ABOUT YOURSELF Because every student learns differently (and this can even change throughout an academic career), it is important for students to identify their strengths and weaknesses as a learner. For example, if a student knows that auditory learning is difficult, he or she will need to make accommodations. Students should familiarize themselves with the kinds of things they need to be successful learners. Parents can be an essential part of this, as they can cultivate study spaces, materials and methods that enable their students to learn effectively. By paying attention to what their children need, families can work together to empower their students. Similarly, parents should spend some time getting to know their own learning and parenting styles, making sure to address weaknesses when and where they’re able, to produce a parent-student relationship that is friendly, productive and successful. Ultimately, high school students are more likely to excel with the help of well-informed, supportive parents or guardians. When learning becomes a team effort, students and their families benefit. *** Heather Hamilton is a contributing writer for Varsity Tutors, a live learning platform that connects students with personalized instruction to accelerate academic achievement.
Children’s Scholarship Fund of Omaha (CSF) provides partial tuition scholarships so children from low-income families can access the private or parochial K-8 education of their choice. CSF believes that all families, regardless of income, should be able to choose the best educational setting for their children.
For more information please call 402-819-4990 or visit www.csfomaha.org
OMAHA WORLD-HERALD
SUNDAY, MAY 15, 2016
KILEY CRUSE/THE WORLD-HERALD
Knowing your child will transition well from preschool to kindergarten — or other stages of life — is sometimes difficult for parents.
Children can teach us about change, growing up By Phyllis l. Fagell THE WASHINGTON POST
On the day my oldest child graduated from preschool, I startled myself by bursting into tears in a hallway lined with crayon drawings. I felt an instant sense of nostalgia. A teacher with older children of her own stopped to comfort me. From here on out, she noted wistfully, time would only pick up speed. I knew my child would transition just fine to kindergarten, but I wasn’t so sure about myself. That child is now about to go to high school. He is the same age as the eighth grade students I counsel at a middle school. Lately, I have been meeting with parents who feel the weightiness of the impending transition to ninth grade. Whether we talk about their child’s newfound independence or the need for structure, I have learned to expect the occasional tears. As I hand over tissues, they often share how surprised they are by their emotional response, believing they left that rawness behind in the baby phase. I get it. It’s a feeling that strikes at unexpected times. Like when we bump into a mom from a long-ago baby play group. Or that moment we realize our child is
able to avert danger without our help, or suddenly needs to lean down to hug us. Or when we stumble across our child’s favorite old pair of Superman overalls in the basement. Change is hard. As parents, it can seem like we are perpetually readying our children for life’s next challenge. We keep a phone next to our bed during that first sleepover. We casually lurk by the school playground to see whether they join the four-square game. We hold our breath at class plays when they pause a bit too long before reciting their lines. When they get knocked down on the soccer field, we resist the urge to instantly run to their side. When they don’t receive an invitation or a spot on a sports team, we stand ready to reassure them, knowing we wield little power to shield them from pain. Our ability to protect wanes as they age, but the urge doesn’t diminish. I have come to realize, however, that I have long held incorrect assumptions about my role as both parent and school counselor. When it comes to coping with change, children are the best teachers. Their job is to march through life’s phases, and they often do it unquestioningly and without a backward glance. This is how they do it: » Kids keep it simple. Children are
less likely to overthink, to ruminate over a scenario. They intuitively assess variables, size up a situation and make a decision. To us, their choices may at times seem mystifying, but their methods eliminate a lot of angst. » Kids prioritize happiness and chase joy. As parents, we can’t divorce our decision-making from the realities of our lives. Our choices need to make financial and logistical sense. But as we mull over ideas, we can take a page from our children. We can at least ask that one simple question our kids ask themselves: What will make us happy? » Kids roll with change. Fifth-grade students know the next step is middle school, much as eighth graders know they are headed to high school. They don’t have an alternative. In reality, despite our instinct to exert control, we often don’t have options either. We may as well accept change gracefully. When we do have a choice but fear holds us back, we can think like a child. We can conceptualize that next step as inexorable and simply embrace it. » Kids take themselves wherever they go. In other words, children are consistently the same person across settings. Like kids, we ultimately are more comfortable when we present our authentic selves (within reason) to friends and
colleagues. When we routinely are honest, genuine and open, we are more likely to develop meaningful new relationships and make fulfilling career choices. » Kids don’t care whether the water is cold. If there is a swimming pool, they are going to jump in. Children are more inclined to just throw themselves into something new. For all sorts of rational and logical reasons, we often ignore our gut. We listen to our head more than our heart. However, it can be good for the spirit to take a flying leap into the unknown. As my son talks to me about starting high school in the fall, I feel his anticipation, his readiness. I watch him gather information, make decisions and take ownership. My parenting role today is very different from how it was back in that hallway, when I held his hand and cried because he was graduating from preschool. The feelings, however, are similar. When I meet with parents, that familiar mix of optimism, sentimentality, pride and protectiveness rises straight to the surface. I don’t think it ever gets easier to manage uncertainty, to close chapters in either our children’s lives or our own. But like our kids, we can rely on one deceptively simple coping skill. We can just do what’s next.
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Content sponsored by Boys Town Pediatrics
Are you a new or expecting mom?
WORLD-HERALD NEWS SERVICE
Kris O’Neill of Grand Island reads to her sons, Isaac, 2 months, and Owen, 2, at the library.
Read to your children early and often By Boys Town PediaTrics When children are young, their brains grow and develop at incredible rates. By the time they are a year old, they will have learned all the sounds they need to develop language skills and vocabulary in their native language. When you first begin reading, your baby will not understand or express interest in the concepts of books. However, reading is an easy way for you to work on communication skills and bond with your child. Âť Read throughout the day. Your baby may not have a very long attention span, so read a few times a day and keep reading sessions to a few minutes in length. Âť Don’t feel constricted by the words on the page. If your baby is pointing or reacting to a certain element, use that as a conversation-starter or tell your own story based on that character or place. For example, if your baby points to a cat, you might say, “Yes, look at the cat. The cat is walking on the fence with his friend,â€? and carry on from there. Âť It doesn’t matter if you finish the
whole book. Much like with talking, it isn’t what your child is hearing, but rather the fact that he or she is hearing something at all. If your child is delighted by certain pages, spend more time talking through those pages.  Use expression in your sentences and unique voices to differentiate between characters.  Allow your baby to participate when possible. From birth to 4 months, your baby will be more interested in the colors and patterns of the book’s pictures. From 4 to 6 months, your baby may start touching the book and putting it in his or her mouth. After 6 months, your child will begin to understand the concept of reading. He or she may help turn pages or point to certain characters or pictures.  Pick durable and exciting books. Cloth books can go anywhere (including the tub) and board books allow for easy turning. Consider buying books with unique elements (like felt, small mirrors, etc.) or pop-up books.
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