WORD Magazine #30

Page 1







Araceli Benitez


Araceli Benitez


Annie Wong


Eugene Cheng


Sam Arrow


Araceli Benitez


Le Tang


Sarah Scarminach


Emilie Villaume


Mikayla McNair


Brittany Nguyen


Mel Weisberger


Brittany Nguyen


Marcos Reynoso


Jess Chou


Ateken Abla


Isabel Gibbons


Mel Weisberger


Francesca Sen


Edgar Guapo


Sarah Scarminach


FATHER JOHN HEDGES The Man Who’s Seen It All NAVIGATING THE REC CEN Let’s Get Physical VENUS DE ISLA VISTA Beautiful Inside And Out THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING A Culture That Just Won’t Burn Out SATAN’S FIRST DATE Not The Lord Of Love EXPRESSIONS Local Poetry NETFLIX & CHILLS For Those Late Winter Nights SURF THERAPY Get Pitted WINTER CALENDAR DIY CRAFTS Craftiness Meets Thriftiness HOW TO MAKE PHO A Different Kind Of Soup For The Soul BUILDING A COMMUNITY Better Together COLLEGE FOOD SURVIVAL GUIDE Eating Well On A Budget HAT FASHION Put A Lid On It LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX Hooked Up On Hooking Up PLAYLIST Alternative R&B Tracks ABANDONED BIKES Lost But Not Forgotten TRACING THE BEANS BACK Guaranteed To Keep You Up All Night I’M A STUDENT TOO A Different Perspective THE SIERRA HOTEL A Word on The Sierra Hotel ALBINO RACOON I’m Not A Quitter But I Quit

words from


I do not believe that the 30th issue of WORD could have had a better team of writers and artists behind it. I’ve been involved with WORD for exactly one year now and the experience of collaborating, learning, and growing with these people has been one of the greatest pleasures I have so far experienced in my college years. I cannot emphasize enough how much learning happens between the beginning and release of every issue. Most of us come into this magazine relatively clueless about how to function as a team, let alone how to conduct an interview or design the layout of a page. For all the polish and tidiness that shines with the final product, you cannot imagine just how many mistakes, miscommunications, and otherwise careless blunders emerge in the process. But I’d like to think we learn from these mistakes (most of the time, at least), and end up a little wiser every time. So, anyway, here’s to 2017, a new year. May we all make horrible mistakes and only learn great things from them. Best, Sam Arrow Editor-in-Chief




WORD STAFF Sam Arrow Editor-in-Chief

Isabel Gibbons Photographer + Designer


Mel Weisberger Managing Editor

Kaitlyn Haberlin Illustrator + Designer

Marcos Reynoso Photographer

Araceli Benitez Writer

Eugene Cheng Writer

Mikayla McNair Writer

Jess Chou Writer

Sarah Scarminach Writer

Le Tang Photo Editor


Annie Wong Illustrator + Designer

the staff celebrates 30 issues of WORD!

Ellen Anderson DJ Palladino Sadie Solomon

Brittany Nguyen Art Director

Ateken Abla Art Director 5

A look inside the life of Father Jon-Stephen Hedges



words // Araceli Benitez photos // Marcos Reynoso design // Ateken Abla

Life in Isla Vista is often associated with impermanence; the lives of thousands pass through these streets year after year, with few leaving anything more than some empty beer bottles and blurred out memories behind. Though this description fits the overwhelming majority of residents, some permanent outliers exist in the midst of those just passing through. I happened to stumble upon one such case after moving to the 68 block of Pasado for my final year at UCSB. I met Father Jon-Stephen Hedges on a warm summer night in July after his wife, Melissa, had called my housemates and I over to discuss our recent noise issues (which was, after all, completely warranted). We expected to be lectured and scolded, but the reaction we got instead took us completely by surprise. Reaching their house, we were greeted by a boisterous black labrador, followed by the kindhearted Melissa Hedges. She warmly introduced herself and led us into her and Father Jon’s home, quaintly decorated with religious relics and family photos. Father Jon was seated on the couch and stood to introduce himself to us. His attire was all black, save for a single strip of white cloth around his neck that proclaimed his profession. I will admit, a brief set in realizing our Isla Vista neighbor was a man of the cloth. Despite a momentary fear of a party-less senior year ahead, I was quickly brought back into the conversation noticing how the atmosphere of their home held an indisputable sense of welcome and ease.



Father John Hedges nurtures plants and community. After a quick exchange of apologies, phone numbers, and promises to be more respectful, the conversation shifted to Hedges’ intriguing storytelling and we were immersed in the highs and lows of his life experience, most of which occurred in and around Isla Vista. His essential role in the community began in 1968, after graduating with a BA in Cultural Anthropology from UCSB and a Master’s in Orthodox Theology from St. Athanasius Academy. He recounted that he became a Christian during this time as a result of the era’s political tumult and social upheaval. After witnessing the unique, yet troubled world of Isla Vista firsthand, his decision to remain here stemmed 8

from his desire to play an active role in improving the conditions of this one-square-mile anomaly, primarily with respect to the lives of those who reside in it. The daunting task forced Hedges to learn how to wear many hats. Some of his present roles in the community include: Campus and Community Pastor, volunteer Chaplain with the Santa Barbara County Sherriff’s Department, Certified Trauma Responder, and Board Certified Crisis Chaplain with the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress. He is regularly deployed by disaster and trauma agencies to assist survivors of major tragedies. Some of his most notable experiences involve caring for Hurricane Katrina survivors

as a Disaster Mental Health worker and being one of the first responders at the scene of the Isla Vista shootings in May 2013. Earlier this year, Father Jon was brutally attacked in his own home by a UCSB student on allegedly bad LSD. The man showed up on Father Jon’s doorstep, naked from the waist down and crying for help at 2:15am on May 7, 2016. Instinctively, Hedges rushed to aid the disgruntled student, who then pummeled his way through the door and began physically attacking the pastor. The student—who had spent nearly four years in the military before attending UCSB and was therefore highly skilled in combat—struck Father Jon more than 30 times in the face. Remarkably, Father John managed to escape the incident without any lethal injuries. This incident was of unique significance to him due to its complete spontaneity and by sheer chance. The trauma he faced following the attack has been one of his primary

influencers in working towards the betterment and increased safety of Isla Vista. When asked if he would be staying in Isla Vista after experiencing such a traumatic and unfortunate incident, Hedges insisted his place in this town was nowhere near through. “I am not done here...I am going to stay,” said Hedges. “I am working to make this place better, and it starts with being an active participant, not just a passer-through.” The incident inspired him to run for the temporary two-year board seat under the Isla Vista Community Services District measure. “Measures E and F give us a chance to have a part in it all...this is important because if we have a voice in Isla Vista, then we can have more ownership over the policies in place here,” stated Hedges. Father Jon continued to describe that with greater self-governance, Isla Vista could implement stronger policies to protect the houseless of IV, one of his greatest passions.


THESE EVENTS HERE CONNECT NOT JUST TO UCSB STUDENTS, BUT TO THE WHOLE COMMUNITY AS WELL...THERE ARE FAMILIES HERE, HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS, CHILDREN. He played a vital role in the development of Pescadero Lofts, a housing center for Isla Vista’s homeless. He currently works on-site with the residents, helping them with everything from how to use cellphones and send emails, to where to go for specific support services. The building currently houses 35 formerly homeless residents, and according to the Central Coast Collaborative on Homelessness, the number of homeless people in Isla Vista has decreased from 32 people living on the streets to 19, all in the span of two years. Visiting Pescadero Lofts with Father Jon, I witnessed a place that embodied hope for those previously hopeless. A wall that lines Hedges’ desk is covered in an almost-dizzying array of photos with family and friends amidst little relics with personal notes. “My work is as complicated as this wall...scattered and crazy,” said Hedges, “but it embodies my history, my influences...every important person in my life.” He gazed at the many pieces of the wall, seemingly looking past them as if he were watching the memories they symbolized play out on a movie screen behind them. I was immediately aware of how this room 10

represented a major piece of who he is and how he got to where he currently stands: a person who has touched and improved the lives of so many. Being with someone who reflects such a genuine selflessness forces you to recognize how rare it is to encounter a person of this caliber in the world, yet alone a town as small and unexpected as Isla Vista. Father Jon’s experience as a permanent resident of Isla Vista is one that warrants acknowledgement. Throughout his many interactions with the worst events this town has seen, he continues to stand for the message that by actively engaging within the community, we can offer a sense of hope and change for the future generations to come. “These events here connect not just to UCSB students, but to the whole community as well...there are families here, high school students, children,” stated Hedges. “We can’t wring our hands or point our fingers,” he said in a past interview with NPR, “but we’ve got to figure out a way to do better...This is home. [These events] may break my heart, but it doesn’t take away my will to stay for my town.” If we can learn anything from Father Jon, it’s this: take care of this beautiful place during your time here, and if you can, go out of your way to do something that will positively impact its future and longevity. As students, we may consider this our home, even if we are simply guests in this collegiate paradise. Cherish and protect it while you’re here and able, but do take time to pay your respects to those permanent neighbors who have seen it all. These people choose to stay and fight for your welfare and safety as temporary, yet integral, parts of this community.


words // Araceli Benitez design // Brittany Nguyen With every New Year comes a newly acquired motivation to better oneself. New Year, new you, right? From my experience as an aging Rec Cen employee, I find this sentiment often includes resolutions to get inshape before the coming spring. Before you pack that gym bag and head over in an excited rush to burn off those extra holiday calories, take note of these tips to help you navigate your way around the Rec Cen like a seasoned vet:


Your IDThis is huge. You won’t be let in without one. CashWe are still living in the Stone Age and don’t take credit cards. If you’re a boss and carry checks, those work too. This will come in handy if you want to buy a snack or drink to replenish those tired muscles. A can-do attitudeThis one speaks for itself. The gym will be insanely packed this month, so you should delve into it with a tenacious drive to follow through on your resolutions (even if this means waiting 20 minutes for a squat rack).


If you’re new to this bustling workout world, I highly recommend getting started in the main building fitness center. It’s less bro-y and usually less busy. If you insist on enduring the chaos of the MAC fitness center, I suggest utilizing the area under the stairs or up on the mezzanine for a less intrusive spot to pump. The cardio and weight machines lining the MAC rink are some of our lesserknown and rarely-utilized treasures— take full advantage of them. There are single bathrooms outside the Pavilion Gym if you ever need some alone time. Need to soothe your aching gains post-workout? Hop in the jacuzzi on the pool deck to relax and enjoy those fresh endorphins coursing through your body. 11


illustration // Annie Wong photos + design // Brittany Nguyen


s a young adult living in a hormone-filled college town, I have been obsessed with living up to the standards and expectations of modern day society. Like most girls my age, I struggle with loving my body, accepting my body, cherishing my body as my own and understanding that it does not need to be altered, despite what the media tells me. In this piece, I endeavour to find the true meaning of beauty by emulating the spirit of the Venus de Milo sculpture. These Isla Vista residents are all beautiful ladies: their beauty being judged upon their achivements, intelligence, and fashion confidence, rather than upon the shape and size of their bodies. So this Valentine’s Day, take yourself out on a date, as Venus would.

Left to right: Isabel Gibbons, Sonia May Htoon, Chinelo Ufondu





words // Eugene Cheng photos // Isabel Gibbons design // Ateken Abla

The Arbor is arguably the heart of all student life on campus. The stream of human traffic flows in every which way: either to class, Davidson library, or the convenience store. Campus organizations place their hopes of recruitment on the tables flanking the pathway. And pocketed in the center of this excitement, under the cover of wide branches and leaves, a small group of students indulge together in the comfort of cigarette smoke. This smoke spot, a composite of congruent geometric depressions, is one of many designated smoking areas on campus, including East Bluff and Lot 10. Except UCSB doesn’t have designated smoking areas. “Smoking and the use of all tobacco products,” declares UCSB’s SmokeFree and Tobacco-Free website, “are prohibited anywhere at all indoor and outdoor spaces managed by UC Santa Barbara.” Students are reminded of this policy by the large signs placed

around campus that reiterate the same message. If you want to find evidence of the ban’s effectiveness, you’ll be disappointed. It’s painfully obvious that smokers are still lighting up, just in particular alcoves on campus. Why don’t we see any repercussions for these repeat offenders? Because there aren’t any. “We encourage people to adhere to the policy, but we’re not written into the policy to have that role,” said UCPD Police Chief Dustin Olson following the policy’s implementation two years ago. When I asked him to clarify his statement, Olson explained that enforcement of the smoking ban is “administrative in nature and not a law enforcement issue or criminal in nature.” More egregious is the fact that there is no fine structure in place, even though the UC governing body has the power to impose and set fines. So in reality, our campus has a “please don’t smoke, or else I’ll make you feel really bad” policy. Ariel Edmond, UCSB’s Tobacco Cessation Educator, agrees with the school’s policy but wishes to see stricter enforcement and more focus on publicizing tobacco cessation programs. “A lot of students don’t know about our service,” she told me. “I’ll give them my card and they might not care at first, but seeing it over and over…just putting the seed in their mind is the goal.” Trying to convince smokers to drop their deadly habit has become an art in and of itself, paralleling the past efforts of the tobacco industry in recent years to achieve the opposite. Anti-smoking ads, government regulations, and informing the public of tobacco’s health costs have succeeded in driving down cigarette consumption from almost half of all adults in 1965 to just under 17% in 2014. College students smoked less,



too: from 16.6% in participation BEFORE TOBACCO 2008 to 9.3% in becomes passive 2016. judgement. USE WAS It’s easy to see Even close DEMONIZED BY how the antifriends of smokers PUBLIC OPINION tobacco movement fall victim to made such indifference. AND SCIENTIFIC significant gains “It’s the thing in EVIDENCE, IT WAS when you consider the back of your HELD IN HIGH how smoking head that says is currently ‘that’s a shame,’” REGARD, A SYMBOL portrayed. said UCSB junior FOR POWER AND From a young Jonathan Chan. “It MASCULINITY. age, smoking’s sucks that there’s association with a chance you won’t lung cancer, be able to see your rotting teeth, and friend in twenty early death is crammed down our years.” Jonathan has attempted on American throats. We all remember numerous occasion to curb his friend’s the provocative ad played before smoking habit, but none of his efforts movie screenings of the “cool” smoker have led to a positive change. “In contrasted with the regretful, nearthe end, I gave it my best effort, you death man in the hospital. Smoking know?” he shrugged. is even being phased out in movies But, you can’t blame smokers for themselves: 54.7% of top-grossing lack of effort. The Centers for Disease movies in 2010 had no incidents of Control and Prevention’s 2011 report tobacco use, compared to 33.3% in found that almost 70% of smokers 2005. want to quit. While more than half of This is not to mention the 1971 smokers will try, only a measly six banning of tobacco advertisements on percent succeed. Mon Nguyen, a past television and radio, or the increase of smoker, explained that she would cigarette taxes at federal, state, and consider the adverse health effects local levels in the United States, or the of smoking, “but it just felt so good I implementation of more restrictive didn’t really care. You want to put off smoking policies, that make smoking the consequences until later.” Edmond illegal in public workplaces, flights, shared Nguyen’s view on health and even near public buildings. warnings: “They’re not smoking Not only is tobacco use extremely because they don’t know about [the unhealthy and unpopular, but it’s also negative health consequences]. harder to even have a place to smoke. They’re smoking because they’re So given all these factors impeding stuck in it.” Interestingly, a 2006 study people from reaching for a pack, why conducted by branding expert Martin are people still smoking? Lindstrom showed that cigarette The natural conclusion nonsmokers warning labels actually stimulate the come to, I think, is that of apathy. It’s nucleus accumbens, i.e. the “craving the result of putting the pieces of the spot” in our brain. puzzle together. If the health warnings Before we focus anti-smoking efforts and social stigma produce no effect, on cessation, it might prove important maybe there’s nothing more you can to take a step back. What gets people provide to the cigarette addict; active addicted to smoking cigarettes? You

can pull up the obvious answer with a quick Google search: cigarettes contain nicotine, acknowledged by addiction experts as one of the hardest to overcome. However, that’s only half the story. We can observe that while this scientific process is constant, how people coexist with this process isn’t. Why do some people fail to quit every time, while others kick their addiction with relative ease? Why do smokers seem to not care about their dangerous habits? What are they thinking of? “I can always imagine myself on a corner with Asian homies, squatting, smoking, whatever.” I had a conversation with an anonymous source I will refer to as Harry. He commands attention with his nuanced, yet unpretentious speech. Harry talks like a music collector at a newly discovered record store: he sifts through a line of inquiry with precision, but he is a slave to any divergent thought that catches his attention. In analyzing what keeps addicts from removing the cigarette from their lips, we must also adopt a similar type of thinking that leaves no stones unturned. For Harry, the presence of certain anxieties drew him to a smoking habit. One image that he’s fond of

recapturing is of him and his friends, young Asian American outsiders participating in their local New Jersey music scene, smoking cigarettes in a diner. “We were fucking cool,” he laughed, relating their efforts of exemplifying “cool” with the movie Coffee and Cigarettes. “Bill Murray, black and white shit, you’re sitting, smoking, and talking about art.” Before tobacco use was demonized by public opinion and scientific evidence, it was held in high regard, a symbol for power and masculinity. Billy Collins perfectly depicts this connection in his poem “The Best Cigarette”, describing himself as a locomotive, and the smoke that accompanies his “indicators of progress, / signs of industry and thought, / the signal that told the nineteenth century / it was moving forward.” Set in the past American society that constricted gender roles to male dominance and female submissiveness, cigarettes also took on a sexual preeminence to whoever had its powers in their hands. Considered one of the most romantic scenes in motion picture history, the 1942 film Now, Voyager ended with a scene of Paul Henreid and Bette Davis. “Shall we have a cigarette on it?” he asked her before lighting 17

two cigarettes and giving one to her, showing his desire for intimacy when circumstances made that impossible. Now that a negative stigma has been attached to smoking, its perception is still one representing “cool,” albeit in more rebellious terms. Now undesired by the mainstream, the smoker showcases open disregard of conformity and expectations through every drag she takes. I’m not a square, I’m dangerous; every new health warning and alarming statistic just encourages me to keep it up. When I smoke, I’m flirting with death, or as Harry puts it, “giving head to cancer.” Each new pack seems to inform the idea that I’m so powerful that I can repeatedly engage in this deadly activity and not fear death. The outsider aspect of Harry’s adolescent situation also provides another take on his relationship with cigarettes. As an Asian American growing up in the States, the feeling of “I don’t belong here” persists no matter how assimilated you are with American culture. When it comes down to it, America is the home of white people, not my family of yellowfaced immigrants. Including the fact 18

that it isn’t viewed negatively in Asian cultures, smoking is attractive to Harry and his friends because it’s a way to assert power as a permanent outsider and to hide vulnerabilities associated with being an outsider. When held between Harry’s fingers, the cigarette warns those unlike him: “Don’t fuck with me.” Whether it’s the feeling of being marginalized, uncool, or any other insecurity, smoking provides the means of overcoming it through the perception of the cigarette or the feeling you get when the smoke enters your lungs. On a simpler level, we turn to cigarettes when we feel tired, stressed out, or to get through a long day. Smokers are bound to the cigarette’s ability to transform their anxieties into a cloud of smoke, as long as there’s always a pack nearby. And then there’s the social aspect of smoking, specifically its ability to cultivate connection. First, there’s the shared enjoyment of the unique, physical sensation of smoking. “You’re enjoying a buzz with all your friends who smoke,” Nguyen explained. Other drugs and alcohol include some degree of comradery, but smoking tobacco

differentiates itself by being more socially acceptable (acceptable in public) and holding less repercussions (doesn’t mess you up). Second, and much more consequential, is the exclusivity of being a smoker. “I’ve had many relationships, platonic and sexual, that came from the fact that we’re both smokers,” Harry said. “The people that get addicted to cigarettes are of a certain tribe, and that’s why we can all hang out. This guy’s an asshole, but I’ll still have a smoke with you.” In Isla Vista, this phenomenon can be found at any somewhat disappointing Friday night party. A natural congregation of smokers never fails to appear; its members expressing annoyance in unison. What triggers them to smoke may vary, but they all decided on the same method of release. “After concerts, I would be able to go outside and have a cigarette. And I would meet people and be like oh, you’re fucked up too?” Harry chuckled at the playback of this familiar situation in his mind. “It’s a way to find other fucked up people.” The dense fumes and toxic scent that come packaged with smoking cigarettes alienate smokers from their other companions. It’s okay, they wouldn’t understand. These relationships are built from the recognition that both sides are in need of repair, and both use smoking as their tool of choice. But, Harry maintained that this bond is not sustainable. “You keep it going by keeping the wound alive,” he said. A relationship built on shared experiences of hurt, for example domestic abuse, can benefit both sides because they are able to offer support and understanding to each other. But, what smokers have in common is smoking, which instead of repairing, destroys physically and mentally under a mask of calmness. The actual problems aren’t acknowledged. It’s

self-harm, passive-aggressively. Harry often referred to the “different reality” you enter when you smoke. Physically, the feeling is obvious and instantaneous. “It vibrates you out of your world,” he said. Nguyen described the sensation as a way to “take the edge off.” When your personal anxieties make their unwelcome appearance into your life, cigarettes offer a way out of this dreary world in exchange for a better one. Unfortunately, focusing


on this escape leads to a deadly result: blindness. Specifically, the unwillingness to acknowledge not just the extremely negative aspects of tobacco addiction, but also the extent of one’s addiction and one’s reasons for continuing the habit. Blind faith in cigarettes turns into blindness of actual reality. Bystanders see the smoker reach for his pack and label it as apathy. Ignorance. Lack of responsibility. What people like Harry see is a trapped individual’s attempt to close the curtains, while the devils of his mind lurk around the perimeter. Robert N. Proctor, a history of science



professor at Stanford University, calls The moment I understood myself cigarettes “the deadliest artifact in as being a smoker—and having those the history of human civilization.” One attributed attached to that label— aspect of his studies is the spread of occurred during my latest cessation ignorance by the tobacco industry, effort. I tried to quit cold turkey and who he claims pushes the idea that failed miserably. Before the end of the smokers should have the right to next day I had already reached out smoke. “What people don’t realize is to friends for cigarettes. And when I that most smokers dislike the fact finally got my cigarettes, the emotion I they smoke, and wish they could quit,” felt wasn’t happiness. It was just relief. Proctor said. “Cigarettes are actually At the peak of my addiction I would destroyers of freedom.” inhale ten cigarettes, or a half of a Remember that song, “Swimming pack, worth of tobacco fumes per Pools”, where in day. And while the the second verse a Kendrick-like voice of high-pitched, wordreason failed to show bending voice tells protest, another voice Kendrick Lamar, “I appeared through am your conscience, the haze. That voice BYSTANDERS SEE if you do not hear told me, “I don’t feel THE SMOKER REACH me then you will be much anymore.” FOR HIS PACK AND history, Kendrick?” Like Ariel Edmond LABEL IT AS APATHY. The little angel said, I smoke because IGNORANCE. LACK on his shoulder I’m stuck. I had my OF RESPONSIBILITY. that reminds the own anxieties—exrapper of the perils girlfriend troubles, associated with communication alcohol abuse? My issues with my dad, version of that little worries about fitting guy has been mostly in—that led me to silent the last few months. the comfort of a different reality. He did have something to say this Eventually, the rational part of my one time, though. I had left my pack brain ritually shut off at the thought at home and asked Jonathan to pick it of a cigarette. Before I realized, I was up on his way out. But upon arrival he blinded as well. refused to give me my cigarettes. Only Nguyen’s decision to quit stemmed after a constant stream of nagging and from her parents’ discovery of her begging did he relent. The whole thing smoking. “I’m really close to my was lighthearted on both sides, but parents and I felt really bad,” she my little voice took this opportunity to said. She still smokes, but restricted fight his way back into my conscious to certain situations. “I realized that thought. You should not be okay with the benefit of smoking a cigarette this, he said. only reached its max potential when I This isn’t Jonathan’s first attempt was not sober,” she said. “If I’m going at inspiring some type of guilt within to harm my body, then I should do it me. “I’ll do it to try to make you feel when it’s worth it.” bad,” he admitted, “but it won’t always Harry’s last cigarette was a month work. prior to our conversation. “I had to “Wait,” he corrected himself, “it stop. I don’t know…it just wasn’t the never has worked.” world I wanted to live in anymore,”

Harry said. “I’ve already spent enough time in that world, and I don’t know what sorts of wisdom I’ve inherited from that world.” Quoting Father Gregory Boyle of Homeboy Industries, a youth program focused on rehabilitating and reintegrating gang members and the recently incarcerated, Harry told me, “We should look at what burdens people are carrying instead of judging them on how they carry it.” The concern should be placed on not just the flame lighting the cigarette, but on “other fires that are burning inside us.” Everyone has their own story, filled with their personal blend of hardships and achievements. Emphasizing individual reasons for smoking, rather than just its effects on health, does not guarantee cessation for every smoker. But at the very least, it shifts attitude on both sides, smokers and nonsmokers, from apathy to caring. Smokers become aware of personal influences to their habit, while nonsmokers understand the tobacco problem is more nuanced than bad self-control or dumb ignorance. Hopefully, the war between smokers and nonsmokers will cease too. Picking fights with cigarette addicts by restricting where you can smoke, like having a smoke-free campus, or

hammering health warnings into our conscious thought only alienates the ones that need support the most. “It’s demanding health by refusing to see the problem,” Harry said. “We all have a reason why we’re smoking.” The question remains: how do we reach a level of engagement with each other where we can touch on those subjects of personal anxieties, biases, and insecurities? Or in Harry’s words, “How should I care about other people killing themselves?” I asked him how he would approach someone smoking on campus. He took a moment before responding, “If I saw you smoking on campus, I would be like…aw man, I kind of want a cigarette. That would remind me of all the reasons why I smoke and why I stopped. And then I would think about what reasons you might have. “That’s the only way I think I could ethically engage with someone,” he concluded. “Just don’t kill yourself, man.” Harry reflected on this thought, the prospect of life and death, and how we deal with morality. “But that’s the other big question, right? What is life?” His eyes seem to light up at the arrival of this new subject. “Let me just have this cigarette and figure it out later.”




words // Sam Arrow design + illustration // Annie Wong



athy. It was something about her eyes. Or no, maybe her hair. Her laugh, too. It was a little of everything. It was something wholesome, something entirely innocent and captivating and alluring about her entire being that had entranced the Devil in a way no other lesser being had done in millenia. “I felt something different when she looked at me with those eyes of hers. She had that look like she’d never done anything bad in her life, that her being here was some sort of accident. Beelzebub, let me tell you, I think what I really need in my life is a nice girl. I’m tired of the games, the drama, the bullshit—I need to settle down, you know?” “Sure.” “Yeah, imagine that. We could get a nice little quiet place in the countryside, waking up every morning at the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise and sip tea. We could go swimming in the lakes, get a dog, drink wine at sunset, stay up late at night in bed just talking to each other…” Satan continued to drone on to the great displeasure of poor Beelzebub, who was working on a tight deadline and really needed to finish the project he was working on at the moment. While he primarily served as lieutenant to the Devil, he often felt the role would be more accurately titled as “therapist.” After rambling for what felt like an

eternity, Satan finally asked, “So, do you think she likes me?” as he sat cross-legged on the floor, clutching a pillow to his breast. “Um, well it’s definitely possible.” “Possible? Possible?? I knew it, I don’t have a chance at all! She’s hopelessly out of my league! I’m such an idiot!” He suddenly stood up, tossing the pillow to the floor. “Beelzebub, be honest with me. I want you to take a good, hard look at me.” Beelzebub begrudgingly swiveled in his chair to look at the Lord of Hell. “Ok.” “Do you promise to be honest?” “I promise.” “No, but you have to really promise. I want you to be more honest than you’ve ever been in your entire life.” Beelzebub was quickly running out of patience. “Jesus fucking Christ, I promise. Fuck. Can we just get this over with? I have a lot of work to do.” “Ok, ok, ok.” Satan hesitated for a moment. “...do you think I’m cute?” “...what?” “Or, you know, attractive or whatever. I guess ‘cute’ is sort of a weird word to use, but you know what I mean.” Beelzebub began to shift uncomfortably in his seat. “Um, sure. Why are you even asking me this?” “Well, you’re gay, right?” “...seriously?” “Oh. Oh my God.” Satan stood with his hand covering his mouth, now realizing the error of his statement. “I am so, so, sorry. Like, seriously.” The room was blanketed with a tension that became unbearably awkward for both parties. After a brief, overhanging silence, Beelzebub began to pack his things. “I think I’m going to work from home for the rest of the day,” he quickly muttered, standing up out of his chair. Avoiding eye contact with

Satan, he headed straight for the door. On his way out, he called back, “By the way, I’ve been married to my wife for nine years. I have two kids. Maybe if you ever had it in you to ask me a single question about my life, you’d have known that. Maybe if you ever had it in you to ask anyone else a single question about their life, you wouldn’t be so fucking lonely all the time.” Beelzebub slammed the door on his way out. Satan ran out after him. “Beelzebub, wait!” Beelzebub stopped. “What, what do you want?” “What should I do about Kathy?” “I can’t believe you’re actually asking me that right now.” Beelzebub,

frustrated and angry as he was at the moment, couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sympathy for the helpless Lord of Hell who stood at the other end of the hallway. “Look, man. You have her number, right? Just ask her out. See what happens.” “You really think that’s it?” “Yeah, I do. I really need to get going.” Beelzebub began to walk toward the exit of the hallway. “Hey, Beelzebub?” “Oh my God, what?” “Thanks.” Satan flashed a tiny smile, as he turned back into the office.



After a candlelit dinner of undercooked chicken and boxed wine (it’s Hell; the food is shit) Kathy and Satan went for a walk. The hellfire pits were particularly placid that evening, and the reflections made by the streetlights were nothing short of romantic for the couple. The two sat down on a bench to gaze over the pits. “Hey, Kathy, I had a really great time tonight.” “Oh, yeah? Me too. The chicken was the best I’ve had in ages.” “Absolutely.” A brief silence ensued. “You know something, Kathy?” “What?” “I really like you a lot.” Satan turned to face her, parting her hair away from her face with one hand as he touched her cheek with the other and leaned in to kiss her—but she pulled away. “Uhhhhh,” said Kathy. Satan was perplexed. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “I thought we were getting along well?” “Look, Satan,” she began. “You’re a really cool guy and all, but there’s just a lot of stuff I’m dealing with right now.” “Like what?” He attempted to sound concerned, but was writhing with agony inside. Such a moron! He thought to himself, his heart pouring over with regret. “I… I really just don’t want to get into it right now.” “It’s alright,” (It wasn’t.) responded Satan followed by a deep, heavy sigh. “It’s just my ex, and all this other

shit. I mean, I’m over it.” (She wasn’t.) “You’re over it, but…” “But, I’m just not looking to get into something serious again, you know?” “Yeah. I get it.” But, then a spark of inspiration flashed through Satan’s head. Perhaps there could be a way to salvage this evening. “Hey, I have an idea.” “What?” “Well…” A sheepish grin. “Maybe we could go back to my place?” “Oh my God. Ew. No.” “Come on,” he urged. “You said you weren’t looking for anything serious.” “I didn’t mean it like that.” God, Kathy thought to herself. Men are such fucking pigs. “Then how the hell else did you mean it?” God, Satan thought to himself. Women can be so complicated. An awkward pause hung in the air between the two. Kathy couldn’t stand it any longer; she broke the tension. “Look, I think I’m going to go now. Bye.” She stood up to leave and began to walk away. “No! Kathy, wait!” But it was too late—Kathy did not wait. Satan sat alone, and took a deep breath in. He fiddled in his pocket for a pack of cigarettes, but there weren’t any— he had quit smoking two months ago. What an awful Valentine’s Day, thought Satan. He kicked a pebble on the ground as he stood up, preparing for the long walk home, all alone.

to meet and depart


words selected by // Araceli Benitez design // Brittany Nguyen

by Alise Forsman

over the rim lies salt and sun and ever changing bubbly white sun forcing even the smallest grain of sand to throw a shadow salt circulating dressing up in every wave that floats away waves rage to place one gentle stroke on wet sands before letting go


painting in bubbles they meet and painting in bubbles they depart

by Pablo Robles “Hands up at all times! Jab and a jab!” I want cherry red Everlast gloves black hand raps pierce my skin after thirty minutes. I want my hands calloused, cracked Like human leather. “Hands up at all times. Jab and a jab!” I can rearrange faces, statues flinch Left, right! Hands up at all times, Bobbing, weaving. Soles of my feet swimming through morning dew, Boxing lessons before school. “Hands up at all times. Jab and a jab!” Peel off my shirt, Shedding skin, into this back alley ring. “Come on Pablo, catch, fade!” Hands up at all times, jab and a jab. 25


by Shmevelyn

extinguish me by Sheila Tran


These hollow caves that aggregate in my heart I’ve searched them through and through Patiently I wait and I wait The wind creaks my empty house blue

the same anger courses through our veins when you explode it takes the form of a fantastical display of fireworks loud and painful on the senses spreading in every direction in the sky claiming it as your space: this is mine now you leave clouds of blackened smoke behind for me to breathe in i try to defuse soak myself in water but we’re built from the same fuse the kind that won’t stop burning once it starts and i explode in the same way uncontrolled and scorching trails of flame raining down for miles curved like the limbs of a person hunched over on the floor almost curling into himself thinking: please. extinguish me explosions deafening and roaring making sure everyone else knows this is a celebration i am fire i burn until there’s nothing left that’s how i know i’m a daddy’s girl

Chasing a tortured soul I’m exhausted Strengthening my grasp, just to find I was strangling a ghost. A ghost a ghost a memory A flirt a love or blasphemy Her smile tells she won’t forget my company. Complex and tangled as humans get Reading my brain is losing a bet Limbs tied by the mind’s abduction Internal chaos over calm corruption Years pass on as my eyes dim But the light will never stretch too thin This is for certain and I know for sure What the world will give I can endure Empty heart like temporary bliss Empty brain an impossible wish

by Kelly Shi

And one day, she woke up from a summer slumber and felt renewed, felt refreshed, felt sober again. Her bruised ribs no longer pressed against her aching heart and she was pleased by this resurfaced feeling. However, the sentiment was quickly stolen from her and replaced by a deeper, by a darker irrevocable anguish. An agony that drowned her lungs in blood wine and left her chest bubbling for breath. A misery as intoxicating as the alcohol under his breath, the claw marks on her back, the knots in her tongue. And she found herself drunk on this idea of love, once more. 26

The girl on the red bicycle by Vesa Popova

Wheels are turning at her feet but also, higher, a flock of birds – what are they – swoop, circle, settle on cables. Undisturbed, as she glides under and wonders where to go, and why and what reason can justify movement. Sometimes the flurry of bodies is startling. Sometimes stillness is worse. A pedestrian crosses. Above, sun is hot on feathers, scattering swallows; she is blinded. Misses the fork in the road: the quickest way home.


REC In honor of the 32nd Santa Barbara International Film Festival, here are six films for your wintertime viewing. I selected them based on their dark and chilling themes, because — like it or not — it’s time to cozy up to the coldest quarter of the year. From one illustrating the dangers of artificial intelligence to another exploring multiple personality disorders, these films will squash any holiday spirit hangover or any sad longing for spring you may be suffering. words + design + illustration // Le Tang

E X M A C HIN A (20 15 )

“Control, it’s all about control.”

“Isn’t it strange, to create something that hates you?”

T HE L O V E LY B ONE S (20 0 9)

FA R GO (19 9 6)

“‘How to Commit the Perfect Murder’ was an old game in heaven. I always chose the icicle: the weapon melts away.”

“There’s more to life than a little money, you know. Don’tcha know that? And here ya are, and it’s a beautiful day.”

MI S E RY (19 9 0)

L OOP E R (20 12)





E NE M Y (20 1 4)









“Now the time has come. I put two bullets in my gun. One for me, and one for you. Oh darling, it will be so beautiful.”


“The only rule is: never let your target escape... even if your target is you.”




words // Sarah Scarminach illustration // Tarush Mohanti design // Ateken Abla

I didn’t realize how bad things were. I never slowed down long enough to breathe, let alone check my emotions. I had been over-running and overscheduling my days for consecutive weeks, months, and, if I’m being completely honest, years. And then, things were so bad that I couldn’t breathe. It all came crashing down on a Wednesday night at 11pm. I was trying to go to bed and couldn’t get my mind to quiet down, couldn’t get my eyes to close, couldn’t even feel like I was living in my own body. I didn’t know what to do. I woke up my dad at 11:30pm and told him through a tight throat that I was coming home. Never had I been so grateful for the 16-mile difference between my house and Isla Vista. The next morning, my dad asked if I wanted to go surfing, and, as if on autopilot, I immediately responded that I needed to go to class and work. My parents told me to call in sick, and I hesitated. They slowly persuaded me—although the process was more like pulling teeth—to take the day off. I surprised myself and did. And then, there I sat, quietly bobbing up and down, listening to the sounds of the waves pounding the shore, as my surfboard responded to the undulating swells. Surfing is a complicated sport— it’s all about timing, placement and balance—not to mention the fact that you’re attempting to control and harness the power of one of nature’s most unpredictable and dangerous forces. Let me put it lightly that surfing can be infuriating at times: you’re in the wrong spot and miss the wave, you take off too deep and wipeout, you lose your balance and wipeout. Furthermore, when you watch someone else successfully take off on a wave, the whole process just seems so effortless. I’ve had more than

my fair share of surfing frustrations, so I was a little hesitant to paddle out—a bad session was really not what I needed right now. The process to get here had been hectic; I had to drive around town to find a wetsuit in my size and borrow a surfboard that was a far cry from the 5’7 short-board I normally ride. But as I sat staring at the horizon, completely immersed in the ocean, I started to feel calmer than I had felt in weeks. Despite the difficulties surfing has— an immensely steep learning curve, needing the necessary equipment, volunteering to put on a wetsuit and get into cold water—there’s a reason so many people do it. It’s because there’s nothing else in the world that compares to the feeling of riding a wave. Regardless of my initial uneasiness, I probably caught somewhere around 10 waves that day. While that may not seem a lot compared to other sports with more frequent numbers—think how many times you hit a tennis ball during a rally or kick a soccer ball— this is beyond a good day by surfing measurements. The glassy water, mixed perfectly with the increasing swell and the unusual timing of 10am on a Thursday morning, awarded me glorious, crowdfree breaking waves. But, I pearled the first wave I took off on. Being accustomed to riding a short-board, I took off too deep, and the 8’0 funshape couldn’t handle the sharp turn, throwing me into the crashing white water. But the second wave, that second wave, was something different. I stayed closer to the shoulder, having learned my lesson the first time, and when I saw the bump coming off the horizon, I immediately turned around and paddled. I continuously checked over my shoulder, trying to make sure I wouldn’t pearl like last

time, and then when I felt the wave pick me up, I quickly pushed up off my hands, stood up, and I flew. Down the face of the wave I rushed, the shoulder-high crest just behind me as I carved massive bottom turns. Up and down I went, riding the lip, before shooting back down, making sure to keep my speed and stay in the pocket. Just when I thought my ride would be over, the wave kept forming in front of me, and after making my last turn I cannon-balled off into the cool April water. I broke the surface, unable to control the smile on my face and the cheer that erupted from within me. I could still feel the adrenaline throbbing in my chest. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this happy, this light. I paddled out back into the line-up and realized how everything that had plagued me the previous night felt light-years away. The cold water and the fast waves had completely changed my state of mind and perspective. This, I realized, was surf therapy. For years, researchers have been connecting the benefits of exercise to mental health. Alternatively, they’ve also been connecting the benefits of nature to mental health. Surfing combines all three, leading us to believe that surfing could potentially have psychological benefits. Dr. Danny Zamir is a psychologist at UCSB’s Counseling and Psychological Services whose work specializes in mindfulness as well as in the relationship between exercise and mental health. Those who have ever been surfing know that this sport is nothing short of an intense upperbody workout when you’re constantly paddling and diving under waves. He explained that, “exercise helps with things like anxiety and depression.

It releases endorphins, which helps create a positive emotion and relaxed state. It also helps with difficult emotions”. This also explains why we feel so happy after going on a tough run, making a perfect three-pointer, or catching a fast wave. Endorphins are powerful controllers, and once released, they have an almost instantaneous effect over our bodies and emotions. There is also a deep connection between nature and mental health: nature helps regulate our stress and improve our moods. According to a study published by Stanford University in 2015, people who walked or spent time in nature showed less activity associated with depression in certain regions of the brain, therefore revealing that being in nature helps combat depression, as well as having a “real regulating effect on our stress and increasing our ability to tolerate stress,” stated Zamir. Surfing allows us to feel the direct benefits of nature not only because it takes place in the ocean, but also due to the fact that you are completely immersed in it as you paddle, surf and swim for your board. However, there’s something else that comes with surfing. While exercise and nature are certainly positive qualities, the simple joy of riding a wave has a power all on its own. Zamir explains that when we experience happiness akin to euphoria from an activity, it can be considered a “peak experience.” This also combats depression, which could suggest that the intense joy we feel after riding a wave can itself improve mental health. Although surfing is an individual sport, it does have important social aspects. UCSB Geography Professor Stuart Sweeney grew up spending entire weekends at the beach with friends—both surfing and bodysurfing.

“The fun sessions are where the whole community is involved,” said Sweeney. “Most people don’t surf alone, and then there’s the slow pattern of interruption as somebody takes a wave and then comes back into the lineup to talk about it. There’s a lot of mutual support.” Another factor that might contribute to the sense of awe when surfing is that it “gets you connected to forces that are greater than yourself. There’s this idea that wind travelling over water and storms thousands of miles away can produce this surf that you’re enjoying. It sort of gets you out of your head and more connected to the world around you,” said Zamir. Surfing can also be connected to flow theory. This concept explains the mental state you feel when you’re completely immersed in an activity. As Zamir explains it, this forces you to be entirely focused on the present moment. You aren’t thinking about the future or what just happened; you’re only experiencing what’s happening right now. In addition, one of the best—or arguably worst—things about surfing is its inconsistency. Regardless of the day, tides or swells, each session is going to be different, which can be refreshing, or excruciating, depending on how you look at it. It takes you out of normalcy and forces you to change your thought process, while simultaneously channeling all your energy into one activity. Although it is not scientifically proven that it has direct benefits, we can speculate that surfing does have a strong, positive effect on our mental state due to its combination of exercise, spending time in nature, support and sense of awe. Furthermore, surfing as a form of treatment is an up and coming area of interest and has even proven helpful for veterans with PTSD.

Surf Words to Know

SWELL the lines you see when looking out at the ocean, the movement of the water before it becomes a wave SHORT BOARD a small surfboard with a narrow body and a pointed tip, best for catching big, fast waves, between 5-7 feet long FUN SHAPE a mid-sized surfboard, with a rounded nose and thick body, known for easily catching all waves of shapes and sizes, between 7-8.5 feet long PEARL a fancy word for wipeout SHOULDER the part of the wave between its highest and lowest points that makes a soft slope POCKET the fastest part of the wave, closest to the white water and where the wave is crashing

In addition to myself, many others have experienced the immediate positive effects of surfing. “If things are really stressed, it’s one thing to get out of your office and walk around, it’s another to completely unplug. Surfing is my rebuilding activity, and when I really need distance, it’s a sure-fire way to get away from everything and think differently. If there was a physical reset button on me, that’d be it,” stated Sweeney. Whether it’s the ocean, the act of surfing itself, or just sitting out in the lineup, there is nothing else that parallels this sport, and its positive qualities are still in uncharted territory. The benefits are potentially endless and if you haven’t already experienced it, any surfer can explain to you the pure magic that happens when you ride a wave.

34 35

Swing by these free supermurgitroid jazz concerts! Jeffrey’s is more than a music & poetry venue; it is a place of healing and solidarity that welcomes all Isla Vistans. https://www.facebook.com/JJCIslaVista/


Do you wish your artwork could be ogled by thousands every day? Display it in THE BOX, a student-curated gallery in the lobby of IV Theater. For submission information, contact Kathryn Lunger kathrynlunger@umail.ucsb.edu or Taylor Moon taylormoon2014@gmail.com.


This exhibition explores the political, cultural, and social struggles of Isla Vista to become an independent, cohesive community, from 1970 to the present day. UCSB Library in Special Research Collections, 3rd Floor, Mountain Side. On view until March 23, 2017.


Explore your passion for IV by developing and implementing a “capstone project” in this lecture/ lab/seminar/studio/research/learning/teaching course. Contact lead professor Kim Yasuda at kimyasuda@gmail.com.


Live stand-up comedy shows. Past comics include Tony Baker, Todd Glass, and Jerry Rocha. Always funny, always free, most Saturdays at 8pm in E-Hall. www.facebook.com/Ucsblaugh



Miss the holiday movies? From ARRIVAL to DOCTOR STRANGE, we’ve got you covered. Friday & Monday nights at 7 & 10pm in IV Theater. Only $4 with free popcorn! www.facebook.com/MagicLanternFilmsIV

Interested in bringing your own artistic or theatrical vision to the wilds of Isla Vista? Isla Vista Arts wants to help. Contact Ellen Anderson at eanderson@ihc.ucsb.edu.



Need a good night out in IV? For an enticing array of films, theater, visual arts, and pop-up events, visit our up-to-the-minute calendar. www.ihc.ucsb. edu/ivarts OR www.facebook.com/islavistaarts/

A quick walk from IV through the Pardall Tunnel and your world opens up to cutting-edge theater and dance performances. Check out our back cover for this season’s offerings. www.theaterdance.ucsb.edu



Expand your horizons and make new friends at the MCC. They regularly host high-powered, culturally hip events on campus, in Isla Vista, and in the Santa Barbara community. www.mcc.sa.ucsb.edu

Join the audience of UCSB’s premiere improv comedy team, and become a part of their fastpaced show. Repeatedly voted “Best Late Night Entertainment” their shows are every Friday at 8pm in E-Hall. Come early and often. Only $3! www.facebook.com/ucsbimprovability/


This student-led board brings top-rated artists and hit movies to IV. You can count on them to screen a free film every Tuesday night in IV Theater. www.facebook.com/asprogramboard/



“God, that design is so complex, rad and next-level!!” “How the hell did you learn how to knit like that?” “Jesus Christ, I wish I had your talent.” — Completely Real Quotes from Real People I Know Now that you’ve had a taste of the pure, unadulterated praise you could be eliciting from your brunch guests and coffee dates, you’re probably itching to create unbelievably easy crafts with little to no money or effort.



words // Mikayla McNair


In all honesty, I got the tutorial from the internet—really, you all should be doing this; it’s the 21st century— from this website: cocoknits.com. However, for us crafty improvisers, I’ve simplified the instructions. (Also I gave this as a Valentine’s Day present once; it’s an A-plus gift, regardless of the amount of cheese associated with giving someone a Smitten.) Essentially, you’re making a muff—a knit tube—so you can hold hands with anyone of your choosing in the cold outdoors without having to wear unruly gloves. Go to Alpha Thrift in Goleta (the big one, by where 101 and 217 cross) to buy needles and a huge bag of various colored/sized skeins of yarn for $5 or less (compared to around $5-10 for ONE skein at a normal craft store). If you want to get EXTRA cute, sew some alphabet beads on it to spell your initials.

1. Look up some knitting tutorials on YouTube. (I recommend checking out GoodKnitKisses for slow, beginnerlevel, thorough tutorials for casting on, knitting, purling, etc.) 2. Knit a square about a foot or less across; mine is 45 stitches. I used a combination of chunky yarn and thinner yarn doubled up. 3. Connect opposite edges of the square and thread more yarn (or some pretty wintery ribbon) through the ends to connect them. (If you’re a more advanced needle artist, you can probably ignore this and use a more conventional method, of course.) 4. Customize that smit’.

photos + design // Kaitlyn Haberlin



Hopefully you didn’t already go to Alpha Thrift before moving onto this section because you have to head back over and purchase a whopping 99-cent mug (or 50-cents if it has a half-off color tag). In the past I’ve used the metallic Sharpie markers, since they effortlessly make the mugs look so much more glamorous, but no matter what markers you use (or at what level you think you are in terms of artistic skill), there’s a way for you to make your mug freaking DAZZLE.

1. Clean your mug so that the surface is sparkly and ready to be beautified. 2. Preheat your oven to 350°F. 3. Start designing! Layering and combining patterns, such as geometric and floral, goes a long way—and looks artsy as hell—in my experience. 4. When your oven is heated and your mug beautified, place your mug onto a baking sheet and then into the oven to bake for about 35 minutes. 5. Let cool and deliver with love. (And please, for the love of all that is holy, this mug should never see the inside of a dishwasher or the rough side of a sponge. It’s permanent, but come on.)


Sophisticated no matter the occasion, this craft is extremely versatile; don’t be afraid to go a completely different direction than I did. Simply use my instructions as a template upon which you can formulate your own ideas. You’ll need a container and a tea light—or a floating candle! I didn’t know they existed until I was doing this tutorial, but thank heavens.

1. Choose a container for the candle. This is an opportunity to use a personalized mug! However, any transparent glass vessel might be preferable—even mason jars, which are becoming so passé in my opinion— especially if any rose petals or colorful stones are added to the mix. 2. Choose the contents of the liquid. Adding scented oils can alter a whole environment; your bedroom will smell sexy as hell or your living room will feel like a warm hug. (See this site for details on how to choose essential oils: http://info.achs.edu/blog/blending-101the-art-of-pairing-essential-oils-dropby-drop). Moreover, the solids you use might vary depending on whom you give the candle to or where you’re placing it in your home. For instance, rose petals are a great addition for a Valentine’s Day candle, while earthycolored stones are cozy year-round additions. 3. Optional: add a ribbon, glitter or something extra and fun to the outside of your vessel (unless it’s your personalized mug, which is already perfection as is).


4. Place a tea light in the liquid and applaud yourself.


let’s get pho’d up! • • • Nothing reminds me of home more than a fresh, steaming bowl of pho on a chilly day. I remember as a child, watching my mom prepare a huge, quart-sized pot and waiting anxiously for literal hours while it simmered and the smell of star anise & ginger wafted through the air. Now, whenever I get really homesick, I make my own pho (while restaurant pho does settle the craving, there’s a huge difference between hot MSG and real, homemade goodness). So when I was feeling (physically, not home) sick, my mom came to visit and made this wonderful, warm bowl of pho for me, which I am now sharing with you! words + photos + design // Brittany Nguyen

INGREDIENTS The Broth 2 onions, halved 4” nub of ginger, halved lengthwise 5-6 pounds of good beef bones, preferably leg and knuckle 1 pound of beef meat - chuck, brisket, rump, cut into large slices 6 quarts of water 1 package of Pho Spices - you can purchase this all together in a mesh bag, or buy them separately! 1 cinnamon stick 1 tablespoon coriander seeds 1 tablespoon fennel seeds 5 whole star anise 1 cardamom pod 6 whole cloves 1 1/2 tablespoons kosher salt (halve if using regular table salt) 1/4 cup fish sauce 1 inch chunk of yellow rock sugar (about 1 oz) - or 1oz of regular sugar 1


The Toppings 2 pounds rice noodles (dried or fresh) Cooked beef from the broth (shredded or thinly sliced) 1/2 pound flank, london broil, sirloin or eye of round, sliced as thinly as possible. Mint, cilantro, basil 2 limes, cut into wedges 2-3 green chili peppers, sliced 2 big handfuls of fresh bean sprouts Hoisin sauce Sriracha hot sauce If you’re looking to buy these ingredients in the Santa Barbara area: Meat | Shalhoob Meat Company | 220 Gray Avenue, Santa Barbara, CA 93101 Noodles, Spices, & Condiments | Oriental Market & Seafood | 5863 Hollister Ave, Goleta, CA 93117 The rest can be found at your local Albertsons or Trader Joe’s!

THE PROCESS Char: Some people do this using their broiler, which works, but my family prefers to char the ginger and onion via stovetop. Turn your stove on medium-high heat. Place ginger and onions on flame. Allow ginger and onions to sit until they begin to char. Turn over and continue on the other side. This should take a total of 10-15 minutes. (Photo 1) Parboil the Bones: Rinse beef bones. Place bones at the bottom of a large pot, then cover with water. Boil for 1520 minutes and watch the scum rise to the top. Drain and rinse the bones. Rinse out the pot and refill pot with bones, charred ginger and onion, and 6 quarts of cool water. Bring to boil over high heat and lower to simmer. Using a ladle or a fine mesh strainer, remove any scum that rises to the top. Simmer for 2-3 hours. Boil Broth: Remove the brisket and set aside. Add spice packet, beef brisket, sugar, fish sauce, salt and simmer uncovered for 3-4 hours. Strain broth

and return the broth to the pot. Taste broth and adjust seasoning this is a crucial step. If the broth’s flavor doesn’t quite shine yet, add 2 teaspoons more of fish sauce, large pinch of salt and a small nugget of rock sugar (or 1 teaspoon of regular sugar). Keep doing this until the broth tastes perfect.

Prepare Noodles & Meat: Boil noodles according to package directions. Pho noodles cook fast (like 45 seconds fast), so make sure to keep watch of them! Slice your flank/london broil/ sirloin against the grain and as thin as possible - try freezing for 15 minutes prior to slicing to make it easier. Cut or shred the leftover brisket and set aside. Arrange the bowl however your heart desires. Put it all together!: Bring your broth back to a boil. As soon as the broth comes back to a boil, ladle into each bowl. The hot broth will cook your raw beef slices. Garnish and serve immediately. Enjoy! 41

Isla Vista

BUILDING A COMMUNITY words // Mel Weisberger photos // Marcos Reynoso design // Ateken Abla


In a large room, nestled just beyond the elevators in the new library, old newspaper clippings and photographs have been laid out neatly — tucked behind glass boxes, under soft luminescent lighting. Sifting through artifacts and archives, curator Danelle Moon, has been tasked with the job of telling the story of Isla Vista. “When most people write about the history of IV,” he said, “they just think of the burning of the Bank of America because it’s sexy, but there are other key moments that make up the history of this community.” The exhibit tells the story of Isla Vista as a community of students and permanent residents beginning in 1970 and leaves the patron with an image of Isla Vista today. Sprawled across the walls are photos of the riots and protests in People’s Park surrounding the Vietnam War, next to photographs of community members and students building the community through service and grassroots activism. “IV is still unincorporated, which means that so far neither Goleta nor Santa Barbara has ever voted to absorb Isla Vista.” Despite only being 1.8 square miles, Isla Vista has a population of about 24,000, making it the 25th densent community in California. Due to Isla Vista’s unincorporated status, in addition to its intense population, the

community still faces difficulties. Looking around the room, it’s easy to see the changes in fashion from the photos of the 1970s compared to now, but it’s quite difficult when looking at the conditions of the streets and the infrastructure. It’s been 46 years since some of these photos were taken and articles written, but really, what’s changed? The exhibit ends with some information about the Community Services District proposed in the November ballot, and it forces the patrons to ask themselves, how can I create change as a member of this community. Through Moon’s efforts, the exhibit provides people with the context for where we are today as a community. By no means is Isla Vista where it should be in terms of modernity and safety, but more importantly, how far have we really come? Also, are we okay with that answer? The exhibit is open Monday and Friday from 9 AM - 5 PM, Tuesday and Wednesday from 9 AM - 8 PM, and Thursdays from 9 AM - 4 PM.

pasta LA VISTA!

SAY GOODBYE TO INSTANT RAMEN WITH THESE EASY RECIPES FOR THE EVERYDAY COLLEGE STUDENT words // Brittany Nguyen + Ateken Abla photos + design // Brittany Nguyen



Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain. Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Sauté chicken with salt, pepper, garlic, or any other preferred spices. Turn off heat. Add spinach to skillet. Let wilt. Add the cooked and drained pasta and the pesto to the skillet with the chicken. Stir well, top with preferred cheese (we recommend mozzarella, feta, or parmesan!) and enjoy.


(Peanut-Butter Blueberry Banana) • •

Cut and freeze 2 bananas overnight. In the morning, add frozen bananas, 2 cups of blueberries, 1 cup of spinach, 2 tablespoons of peanut butter and half a cup of water to a blender. Blend well & enjoy! Optional: Add 1 tablespoon of honey and chia seeds for a sweeter, protein-packed drink!


WORD Tips! • • • •

Don’t forget to take advantage of the UCSB Food Bank located on the second floor of the UCEN for free kitchen staples. Isla Vista Tenants Union gives out free food from the Isla Vista Co-Op on Wednesdays in front of Pardall Center. Keep track of the Food, Nutrition, & Basic Skills calendar for workshops on food preparation, grocery shopping, and budgeting. More information is available at www.foodbank.as.ucsb.edu.


pa s


ve oli oil


blu e




s a n a n ba torti








i r r e

ar a

pest sauc o e

*peanut butter


mar in

College Food Staples



+ eggs

spinach milk chicken breast


DAD HATS not just for dads word + photos + design // Marcos Reynoso


FROM LEFT TO RIGHT 1. YOUSSEF SIBIH: An effulgence San Francisco Pokémon hat with an embroidered Mew on the front and the Kanto gym badges on the side. 2. ROBERTO CHAVEZ: A 424 on Fairfax hat with 424 embroidered on the front. 3. DONALD HUYNH: OVO sports cap with the signature OVO owl embroidered on the front.

4. JUSTIN CHAN: A vintage 90’s Ralph Lauren Polo sports cap, with the iconic pony. 5. MARCOS REYNOSO: A Supreme Olive 6 panel S logo hat 6. ALEX ROSAS: A customized hat with a Kanye “Graduation” bear patch on the front. 7. YOUSSEF SIBIH: A custom, distressed Comme des Garçons PLAY hat. 47

love. I have a sexual need, how do I satisfy that without losing respect for myself?” “It didn't start off as a hookup, I thought that he liked me. My coworker was like, “he’s super obsessed with you” and the way he talked to me was like, ‘I really like you’ and stuff.” “Intimacy is just something I didn't have a lot of in my life.”

Too Many Strings Attached A CONVERSATION ABOUT SEX

words // Jess Chou art + design // Kaitlyn Haberlin While many people don’t expect hookups to lead to something more committed, 72% claim they ideally want the traditional, committed relationship according to Justin R. Garcia in Sexual Hookup Culture: A Review. Scandalous hookup app Tinder states that 80% of its users hope to find a long term relationship. And in this day and age, casual sex doesn’t seem like a bad way to go about it. People are looking to make a connection quickly and commit slowly. Casual sex means, “I’m interested in you. I want to know who you are right now. I don’t want to spend my entire life trying to figure out who you are.” Regardless of if this mentality is healthy, casual sex is nothing new behind the shut bedroom doors of Hook-Up Kingdom Isla Vista’s residents and their pseudo-relationships. For some, there will be no hand-holding, no pet names, no feels; for others, friendships will be challenged. “I guess there was that stigma. I was kind of that sheltered girl in high school, you know? I just wanted to experience what it was like for other people to be part of that hookup culture, so I immersed myself in it.” 48

“I’ve never been single and confident in my life. I’ve been in a four year relationship and when it was off again as opposed to on again, those were really dark periods for me. I have associated sex entirely with

“I was scared. It was right after I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. I got a Tinder and my roommates were very supportive of it, like you should go hang out with him. And I went. And it was cool. We went to go get Blenders or something and the next day they told me I should have sex with him. I wasn’t ready but they kinda influenced me like, ‘you need to get over your ex.’” “Apparently we were both experimenting. So what I did was I left her with my phone number…If she wants to meet again it's up to her.” “I’m pretty sure a lot of girls just want to know you’re interested in them and that’s kind of how you reel them in. It’s kind of a fucked up culture, but it’s carefree.” “I was so freaked out because I'm not usually good at sex. And all the guys I've done it with are usually really experienced.” “I wasn't really into him. A lot of things about him bugged me. Like he was kinda stupid and we didn't have much in common.”

“I guess I had a really bad experience with a guy in the past because I was lied to. So I didn't really care, didn't really expect too much. That sounds bad but yeah.” “I wasn't just a hobo sitting around. I felt desirable. And that made me feel really good.” “I just didn't like the fact that now because we did it once, I couldn't go back to being comfortable around him all the time. Like every time we would just be in his room just watching a movie or something, it was like this tension of whether we would do it or not.” “Every time we hung out, I could tell he wanted sex. But I was attracted to him, so I was always down. I kinda gave in, literally every time.” “And suddenly you have this new ongoing thing that can last a month or two because it’s easy. It’s like a safety thing, a guarantee. When you have those situations in life with a friends with benefits thing that doesn’t really have anything else going on for it, you don’t really want anything more. You’re content. You’re not happy, you’re content. You have enough, but it’s just barely enough.” “I would always try to talk about something like music or something deeper than just sex and he would just ignore it. But I’m seeing Snapchats of him going on legit dates, like to the pumpkin patch or out for coffee and I kinda wanted that. Like why wasn’t I good enough for that. But I don’t know. That’s just me.” 49


“I didn’t really understand what was happening. I was frustrated, jealous.” “We would just be hanging out at my place, sitting down, not doing anything, just being in the same room And I felt so happy. Like I would be happy just doing this. But she didn’t want anything more.” “I always catch feelings. I get kinda depressed. But I’m weird. Like I’m like really... I don’t know.” “She said the summer after sophomore year she wasn’t ever gonna see me again. But she was always the one to call me and text me first. The more she was in my life, the more I couldn’t ignore her. She wanted to talk about us. I was like no.” “How the hell do I not catch feelings? We were talking for hours after, we can talk hours about bullshit. We were talking like we were going on a date the next day and shit, and then of course she doesn’t text me.” I had zero feelings for him. I just got really frickin bored. And then one day I was like, hey you should find yourself a more reliable friends with benefits. Because I am not the one.


“The last time we hung out he made me kinda uncomfortable. Like he was kinda rough. And I didn’t like it. So I stopped texting him for about two days and I went home for a weekend and by the time I came back I was

checking my Snapchat and he was already with a new guy. I didn’t really miss him. I guess it’s just my insecurities. I feel like everyone’s down physically, but after a certain point they just lose interest. Like even the ugly guys.” “I really appreciate the time I spent with my friend with benefits. I have memories with him that I’ll always treasure. Like once I care for you, I’ll always care for you.” I just enjoy relationship sex more. We were comfortable, we perfected the way we had sex. We knew exactly how to satisfy each other, we knew exactly what to do after. “The reality is it’s kind of depressing when there’s nothing there. I would ask myself why don’t I have selfcontrol, like I know this is bad for me. Don’t let hooking up with people let someone important slip by. I think self image is more of a thing than fear of being judged.”

an all-inclusive chill vibes playlist featuring the best of alternative R&B True Romance (feat. Jarina De Marco) // GTA, Jarina De Marco Cane Shuga // Glass Animals Play It Right // Sylvan Esso Origami // Capital Cities Youth (K?D Remix) (feat. Satica) // Manila Killa, SATICA Baby You’re Bad // Honne Marijuana // Chrome Sparks One More // Elliphant, MØ Tetris // Brika Drift // Alina Baraz, Galamatias Hilarity Duff // KAYTRANADA Silk // Giselle Oh! // Valis Alps Lips // Marian Hill i’m sorry // Swell, Shiloh Giving It All // Bondax Cold Blooded // Zhu Her Life // Two Feet Window Seat // Thomston, Wafia Location // Khalid Jungle // Drake Ivy // Frank Ocean add the playlist on Spotify: http://tinyurl.com/WORDPlaylist

“I feel like everyone’s on coke. Like, do as much as you can, regret nothing, live life to the fullest. It’s this crazy mentality because you’re not living life to the fullest. You’re just a slave to your desires.” “I mean it was convenient at the time to have a physical connection. And then after a while, I was like I don’t need this. I can be independent on my own. Find happiness by myself.”


A Love Letter to Forgotten Bicycles if one were to find oneself on campus in the early hours of the morning with no light but the hazy glow of the streetlights one would find a surprising sight at first, frightening; dismembered and forgotten but upon further examination; pitiful and sweet if one were to find oneself on campus in the early hours of the morning with no light but the hazy glow of the streetlights one would find the abandoned bikes picked apart and forsaken a lonely wheel or frame still locked in place forever held in limbo


words + photos + design // Isabel Gibbons

if one were to find oneself on campus in the early hours of the morning one would find a bike left behind waiting for its owner to return 53




beans Cycling through Handlebar’s History

words // Mel Weisberger


photos // Le Tang

This year, I fell in love. They said it would never happen on these crazy, littered streets we call home, but I did. He’s different than other ones I’ve had — he’s warm, he’s always there, and he knows just how to pick me up in the morning. Sometimes he’s bitter, but sometimes he’s sweet. Ah, Joe. Alright, you caught me, he’s coffee, but everything I said still stands. This year, I started getting into the habit of starting every day with a cup of java. Whether it’s from my sweet, red Keurig nestled in the corner of my kitchen, or crafted by calloused, warm hands behind the tall, concrete counter at Caje, it’s become part of my routine; a routine that I love. One morning as I slurped the last drop of liquid love from my morning mug, I stared at the bottom of my cup and saw a few remnant grounds stuck to the ceramic, like beached sailors after surviving the swell of the century. Where did you come from little guys? Well, my old friend Mr. Coffee, that’s where. That’s where they came from. Those little grounds got me thinking. I imagined myself going deep into the jungles of Mexico and wrestling a

design // Brittany Nguyen

jaguar to the ground as I attempted to make it through the leaves to where the most perfect beans lay basking in the sun. I imagined myself atop the mountains in Argentina, riding a small donkey named Rico as we (he) carried pounds of coffee beans from the summit to the townspeople. That left me with some questions though. For example, how would Rico bring the beans to Caje in Isla Vista? I decided to trace the beans back. When I first walked into Handlebar Roasting Company’s downtown location, I immediately felt like I was stepping into an entirely new culture. I had taken maybe two steps off the street and into their cafe, and all of a sudden I couldn’t hear the street anymore as the coffee roaster roared and the patron’s conversations swelled over me. I decided to play it safe and order a cold brew (a form of iced coffee made by steeping the coffee grounds in room temperature water or cold water for an extended period of time) which I have recently come to love. I was served immediately and I sat down at one of the large wooden tables to begin working.


I sat down with one of Handlebar’s owners and creators, Aaron, to find out more about their beans and their passion for the beverage. Aaron and Kim first opened Handlebar after spending ten plus years as professional cyclists living in Europe. “Cafe culture is a part of everyday life in Europe. [It acts] as a meeting place for family, friends, and everyday life...For us it is much more than just great coffee, but an overall experience stemming from great customer experience, to atmosphere, music, etc.” Aaron explained that Handlebar currently serves coffee from five to six countries. “We have three offerings from our origin trip to Columbia, one coffee from Ethiopia, one from Guatemala, one from Brazil, our seasonal Espresso Blend, and we will be releasing more coffees from Columbia and Mexico over the winter

months.” According to the “National Coffee Association” website, the ideal coffee beans are grown along what is known as the “bean belt” which follows the Equator. Coffee grows best along this area because the climate is ideal for growing the two most popular kinds of coffee bean — arabica, which thrives at high altitudes in rich soil, and the robusta which grows well in higher temperatures and lower ground. Aaron went on to say that when it comes to getting his customers the best beans, they pass through over 40 hands, making it single handedly the food/crop that touches the most hands before being enjoyed. As I reached the end of my drink, I asked where else I could enjoy their roast. “We have another location under construction on De La Vina that we will hopefully [have] open in



the New Year with a full cafe. We coffee or an americano is a good will be doing all of our roasting start. If you prefer a bit of milk, a on-site. Currently there are two cappuccino is the perfect size drink cafes serving and doing a great job that gives you texture of steamed with Handlebar coffee. Caje has milk but small enough you can been serving still taste the our coffee for a espresso.” “FOR US IT IS MUCH MORE few years now So there THAN JUST GREAT COFFEE, and our good it was, laid friends over BUT AN OVERALL EXPERIENCE out in front at Breakfast of me—my STEMMING FROM GREAT Culture Club on own little CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE, TO the west side of map to the ATMOSPHERE, MUSIC, ETC.” town also serve fields of our coffee.” Columbia Lastly, I asked about how new and the sun-basked plants of coffee drinkers should approach Brazil. Sometimes I still think of this finicky and complex beverage. Rico and wonder how he’s doing. I “I would say if you want to really wonder if I’ll ever see him pulling try to experience the flavor of up next to the Starbucks. But until coffee, then starting with black then, this cup’s for you Rico.



Isla Vista teens research the landscape words + photos // Francesca Sen

“Wait … there are kids in Isla Vista?” is a question I get all the time when speaking about my job as a Student Staff Mentor at the St. George Youth Center (SGYC). Oftentimes, their follow-up question is: “Why would their parents choose to live here? Don’t they know that everyone parties here?” Frankly, many of these kids were born in Isla Vista, and their families have been making their home in IV much longer than most all UCSB students. In order to help bring awareness to IV about the families that live here, the Isla Vista Teen Leadership group at SGYC partnered with the Future Leaders of America to conceive a campaign entitled, “I’m a Student, Too!” The Co-President of the SGYC team, 15-year-old Odalis Pacheo explains, “Our ‘I’m a Student, Too!’

design // Ateken Abla

campaign was created because a lot has happened in our Isla Vista community and we wanted to help contribute to the positive change that is happening in IV.” Nancy Meza, a Los Angeles community activist, joined the mix, speaking to the teens about her own experiences, and reminding them, “You are the future, the now!” They brainstormed. They discussed issues relevant to Isla Vista residents and shared their own experiences living here. Odalis recalls, “We wanted to make a change in our community, so we came up with questions we could ask to the residents of Isla Vista. We asked about their safety, noise, drugs, etc.” They listed ten questions to ask the IV community. Once all of the details were ironed out, the

Isla Vista As I walk through the streets, I feel everyone’s eyes on me Loud music bursting which you can hear from miles away Drunk college students shouting at me while walking back from school Repeats and repeats But friends and family, make it all better. Maria Moscaira Goleta Valley Junior High 60

These students are apart of the Isla Vista Teen Leadership Group at SGYC. leadership team and the Future Leaders of America hit the streets and surveyed IV. “We ended up collecting 200 surveys from a people of all ages and after we compiled all the results, we made graphs and put them into a PowerPoint. We then let people in our community know about them and we presented them at an IV Town Hall Meeting, the Beloved Community

Conference, and at a Sociology course at UCSB. But, the most challenging part of the campaign was going up to people and asking them to take the survey because that was a little awkward,” she said. In analyzing the surveys, the team found it challenging to accurately convey what it’s like to live in Isla Vista, making sure to highlight the 61

One great part of living in Isla Vista is that I am a part of the IV Teen Leadership group. I also really like Nuestra Voz, the theater program that occurs during the summer where the teen center works with UCSB students. I love it because we get really close to the group that we’re in. I also learned a lot about public speaking, which will be beneficial to me because I do want to be a social worker when I grow up. It’s actually kind of funny because every time someone asks me what my job is in the leadership group, I always end up saying that I’m the “social worker” instead of the “Social Chair.” – Bonfilia Moscaira, 15-years-old


issues, but also honor the positives. Maria Moscaira, student at Goleta Valley Junior High, assessed the results: “After collecting the surveys for our campaign, I noticed that our fellow community members had a lot of concerns about living in IV. Some examples include: rape, cops, and nudity. We ended up creating a word cloud made up of all of the concerns. I wasn’t really surprised at the feedback that we got from our community members because I’ve heard that stuff like that has been an issue in our community for a while.” The teens agreed that their town had issues, but were dissatisfied with the negative and one-sided picture their initial results revealed. Group treasurer, Yoselin Corona mused, “In my mind it is still my town, my memories live here. This is my home.” They determined the survey included a negative freeresponse question on community

concerns, but not a positive one. To fix this, they did a follow-up survey to get positive responses. Thirteenyear-old Daisy Martinez explains, “We didn’t just want to leave our campaign showcasing the concerns of the residents of Isla Vista. And so, another part of the campaign was born. We created the hashtag thebestofIslaVista, which was an idea to show other people that there are some great parts of IV. We walked around our community asking people if they could write down or draw what they thought was the best of Isla Vista. We took a picture of them holding up the results with our hashtag at the bottom, created a photo-voice project and a positive word cloud showing all of the great things of IV.” Social Chair, Bonfilia Moscaira elaborates, “We wanted to show that, yes, there are some concerning things about living in Isla Vista, but it’s also a wonderful place with some beautiful qualities.” The “I’m a Student, Too!” campaign that began in December of 2015, is ongoing. The leadership team plans to speak with more classes and incorporate their video into freshman orientation. One team member summed it up by saying, “We are trying to inform a lot more people. We are getting closer to where we want to be with our presentation because we have been asked to go present at more classes at UCSB. Hopefully other people will hear of our campaign.” As a UCSB Student, I’ve lived a brief five years in this town. But, I’ve noticed that for every negative quality, Isla Vista has a redeeming one. For me, IV’s fountain of joy, beauty, and wholesomeness are the youth. The teens responsible for the “I’m a Student Too!” study have taught me much, and I continue to learn from them every day– whether it is a math formula I failed to learn in high school or the latest social media frenzy. Most

importantly, they’ve taught me to view the world with a clear eye and remember that sometimes, whether it’s easy or not, we have to accept the bad for what it is, in order to be able to embrace the good with our whole hearts. I salute all members of the IV Teen Leadership group at SGYC including: Monse Carbajal, Yoselin Corona, Nicole Frausto, Briseida Martinez, Daisy Martinez, Elizabeth Merino, Bonfilia Moscaira, Maria Moscaira, Odalis Pacheco, Irais Pacheco, Natalia Rios, and Viridiana Roman. “You are the future, the now!”






Contact DJ Palladino at djpalladino@ihc.ucsb.edu Magic Lantern Films teaches the ins and outs of film programming using IV Theater as a lab. Students gain experience in budgeting, publicizing, researching, theater management, series-pitching, and curating, culminating in the execution of screenings that come out of students’ own pitches.

Contact Alesha Claveria aleshaclaveria@umail.ucsb.edu Experience promoting and producing weekly Improvability comedy shows along with additional live performances in Isla Vista. Learn backstage and front-of-the-house skills. Explore public relations, advertising, and production management in this real-world setting. All majors welcome.




Contact Ellen Anderson at eanderson@ihc.ucsb.edu This issue of WORD: Isla Vista Arts & Culture Magazine is brought to you by the student artists and writers in INT 185ST and its partner OSL campus organization. We welcome new writers, designers, photographers, and artists from all majors at our Friday meetings.


words // Edgar Guapo

design // Ateken Abla

about the author

Edgar Guapo served for two and a half years in the United States Army as a Combat Engineer and two years in the United States Army Reserve as an Administrative Specialist. As a Combat Engineer, he was assigned to the Fourth Infantry Division stationed at Fort Hood, Texas. As an Administrative Specialist, he was assigned to the 304th MMC in Los Angeles, California. He served from July, 1997 to December, 2001. He is a single father attending the University of California, Santa Barbara as a third-year student. He is pursuing his Bachelor of Arts degree in History.


An Immigrant’s Envisioned Dream My name is Alonso, I was born and raised in Mexico When I turned twelve I dropped out of school I looked for work to help feed my brothers and sisters Our dad would say he wired our mom money, but it never reached her My home country has a high unemployment rate So when I turned twenty I moved to the United States Now I always find work in the agricultural fields At night school I study English and learn new skills This is where I met Sylvia And Edgar, her twenty-year-old son She has no other kids He is the only one He would tell me stories about the Army while he tried to unwind Then several things started To go through my mind 64

Like whenever there is conflict on the air How the television draws in his mother’s stare She thinks at home is where he should have stayed But he left and now he handles grenades At his age I used to go to sleep hungry at night But he is well trained, ready for any fight I came for better wages to this Promised Land He may have to go wherever war rages, with a rifle in his hands When I till the Earth and remove the rocks Will he be riding in an Army truck? Will I be plucking fruit from the vines While he fights behind enemy lines? He could be on patrol during Daylight or in the dark While my most dangerous activity Is playing soccer in the park America’s youth doesn’t always understand All of the advantages they have at hand But he doesn’t take things for granted through his American eyes I hope I never take things for granted as I Americanize I’m not sure how he can remain so calm My nerves would probably explode like a bomb If needed, he’d fight to keep this country free I wish I was born here, I wish I were like he

about Sierra Hotel “Sierra Hotel” presents writings from participants in UCSB’s creative writing workshop for veterans and military dependents. The workshop, which began in 2012, provides the opportunity for this unique group of UCSB students to write about their military experiences as they study the craft of creative nonfiction. To read more work by UCSB student veterans and military dependents, visit Instant Separation, A Digital Journal of Military Experience from the University of California: www. instantseparation.org 65

Albino Raccoon


BUT I QUIT words // Sarah Scarminach

I’ve played my whole life by the rules. I always got good grades, never broke curfew, never ditched class, always kept my promises, etc. And this included my athletic career. I scheduled my life around volleyball, when it probably should’ve been the other way around. I started playing volleyball when I was in the fifth grade, just 10 years old and dreaming about being able to jump and touch the top of the net. Now I’m 20 years old. Since then, I’ve played two years of youth volleyball, two seasons of junior high volleyball, four seasons of high school volleyball, four seasons of club volleyball, and three seasons of college club volleyball. If we do some math—really rough math—I’ve gone to somewhere around 508 practices, 60 tournaments and played somewhere around 290 matches in my career, not to mention the countless years of floor burns and bruises. I thought I was going to play college volleyball, I really did. But, then I had a horrible season my senior year of high school. I thought my career was over. I figured I’d had a good enough run. I’d never be great, never play in front of thousands of fans, never have my picture on a school banner; but I 66

design // Brittany Nguyen

had been good enough. Right? I wasn’t quitting then; I just wasn’t playing anymore. There wasn’t another level for me to move up to. I wasn’t going to play in college and I’d finished my last high school season. In my mind, it was a natural progression to stop. There was nowhere else for me to go. Yet, I got another chance in college. I tried out for club volleyball, and I was back in my element. The thrill of the game had returned. My competitive edge came out again, roaring and stronger than ever. I had returned. Before we continue, let me get something straight. I’m not a quitter. I’m not afraid of commitment. I’m not someone who backs out of plans. I’m not a flake. I’m reliable. I’m responsible. I take pride in my decisions. But, here I am, three years later— quitting. Here’s the thing: I just don’t love it anymore. I never thought this would happen, but I grew out of it. For a long time—and I mean a really long time—volleyball was my whole life: my weekends were filled with tournaments, my weeks with practices, my summers with offseason workouts and pre-season

practices; even my family dinner discussions were dominated by volleyball and my social group by volleyball players. I’ve had a long career and because of that, I’ve seen a lot of people drop off the face of the volleyball earth. Other people before me quit, and I looked down on them for that. I judged

HERE’S THE THING: I JUST DON’T LOVE IT ANYMORE. them for that. Girls quit because “they needed to focus on school” or “didn’t have the time” or simply “didn’t want to”. I thought I was better than them because I could handle the commitment. I could handle the rigorous schedule. I still wanted to play and get better. I was still part of a community. I still had people cheering me on from the sidelines. But, I was young then and, to be honest, kind of arrogant. Things changed for me somewhere in the middle of last season—as in, last season but also, my last season. I was on the fence about playing because I was unsure of a lot of things: if we would be good this year, if I would like the team, who the coaches would be and a whole list of more personal things. I was 50/50 on playing, and since I’ve always played and always had a good time, I said “Why not?” Needless to say, I regretted my season. I started to dread practices. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t care about how I was playing. I didn’t care about how the team did. And I certainly didn’t want to waste my whole weekend driving four hours to sleep on someone’s floor and then play six matches the next day. I didn’t enjoy myself, and I realized that maybe it was time for me to quit. Something wasn’t right. This was something I’d done for my entire life.

This was something I’d always loved. This was part of who I was. Right? But, I was halfway through the season—I couldn’t just jump ship—and so I kept going, getting continuously more irritated because I didn’t care, which meant I played bad, which frustrated me, but I didn’t care to get better, and so on. I started to think back on all those girls I knew who had quit before me and started to see their point of view. Sometimes you just grow out of things, and I never thought volleyball would be one of those things for me, but now it is. It doesn’t have the same excitement it used to and it doesn’t give me the same crazy adrenaline rush that I loved. I’ve made my decision, and I’m quitting. And that’s okay. It was hard for me to accept at first, but now I’ve realized it’s a natural progression of life to give up things you once loved. Volleyball will always be special to me, but I need some time away. I want to try new things, things I never had time for—it was my whole life, remember? So yeah, I quit. But, I’m not a quitter. I held up my end of the bargain, and at the end of the day decided I want to do something else with my time. I want to use my skills for something new. And while that scares me—because all of my athletic abilities are only good for playing volleyball—it’s exciting. There will be new challenges and new adrenaline rushes and entirely new friend groups to be a part of. I’ll always love the game, but it just isn’t for me anymore. So, I’m stepping out of the gym. I’m throwing away my kneepads, my jerseys, my thousands of pairs of spandex. I’m looking ahead to better things. I’m thanking volleyball for what it has taught me, keeping my head high, and moving towards the future. 67

winter 2017








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