EDITOR'SNOTE BY DANYA GRANADO I?m 22 years old and I would love to be married. In fact, the 10-year old me thought I would have been married years ago. But I?m not. And I?m done preparing for it. I?ve spent a good amount of my life so far preparing for marriage. I?ve read stacks of marriage and parenting advice, talked endlessly about it to friends, parents, and church members. At my church, we even have a young adult ministry where our pastor and his wife teach about how to prepare for marriage and honor our future spouses. As good as marriage preparation is, it can become dangerously legalistic for me. Sometimes I think that if I can become a better Christ-follower, a better communicator, a better listener, a better cook, better dresser, and click my heels together at just the right moment my husband will appear. The thing is, no amount of my hard work and preparation will expedite God?s will for me when it comes to marriage. In the meantime, good relationships are not a distant land I will arrive at when I?m married. I have plenty of relationships right now. Becoming a better communicator and learning to put the needs of others above my own are things I need to develop as a person? not just as a future wife. I can instantly apply messages about relationships and marriage to my current context. Personality conflict between fellow small group members? I can apply marriage advice there. Family can?t decide what to make for dinner? I can apply marriage advice there, too. I may not have a husband or family, but I do live life with people I care about. When I get sick, people take care of me. I talk to my mother for advice. I take care of my younger brothers. I share meals and memories with friends. I experience conflict and learn to make compromises. If you listen to everyone?s relationship advice, read marriage books, and skim articles that float around in magazines and online as much as I do, love and relationships start to sound formulaic-- you just need to pose this way in photos, wear this perfume and those shoes, act interested (but not too interested), and you can trick someone into falling in love with you. But that?s not how God set up love. It?s not a matter of controlling my circumstances or creating the perfect atmosphere for love. It won?t look like love because I?ve prepared more, invested more or become more spiritual. I want to pray more, and trust more, and be more obedient, but I?m not doing those things to prepare for marriage. As Paul told the Philippians, ?Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.? And I?ve found that to be true for me as well.
JUNE IN THIS ISSUE REFLECTION Fr om Veiled t o Un veiled
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by Wendy Templeton-Stone
POETRY Silver An n iver sar y Sou ven ir s
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by Barbara Elkin
PERSONAL TESTIMONY Per f ect ly Im per f ect
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by Donna L. Barr
PROFILE An Or din ar y Wom an Doin g An Ext r aor din ar y Th in g
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by Michelle Granado
A Woman?s Heart and Soul Magazine Pro31Media LLC Designer: Danya Granado Copyright Š 2017 by Pro31Media All rights to articles reserved by the author of the article. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
BY WENDY TEM PLETON-STONE ?June Is Bustin?Out All Over!?I can hardly keep from singing that Rogers and Hammerstein piece this time of year as it floods my mind with fond memories of performing that song as a teen. It speaks of flower buds and love bursting out in bloom. June has become known as the wedding month when many brides take that walk down the aisle arm in arm with their father to be released into a new, relationship, life and identity with a new man. In recent years, God has brought revelation of the significance of the tradition of the bride walking down with a veiled face which the father then lifts as he releases her to enter into her new identity and life with her very-soon-to-be husband.
5 It is such a beautiful picture of the spiritual process of us saying good-bye to the Old Covenant, the law of sin and death where we walked with a veiled face and saying hello, with an unveiled face, to the New Covenant - the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:2) Memories of my own wedding come with a degree of sadness in my heart. Though my father was present, I chose to have my brother walk me down the aisle. My parents divorced when I was six years old, and my father was (and still is) very minimally involved in my life. I struggled with feelings of hurt and abandonment, unfulfilled promises, and a lack of any real depth in the relationship I had with my earthly father. Paradoxically, I said ?no? to the privilege of Dad ?giving me away,? but I desperately clung to what little connection we had by choosing to hyphenate my maiden name with my married name. It?s uncanny how this parallels what we as Christians often do. We step into a new relationship with Christ which brings completely new and abundant life and identity, but we continue to hang on to our old identity and way of living under the law of sin and death. We walk around as if the veil has not been lifted, trying to do in order to become, pretending to be more than how we really see ourselves. Though I fervently tried to do more good and less bad and desired with all my heart to honor and glorify my heavenly father, I fell short every time. I saw myself as a complete and utter disappointment to Him. Inner turmoil and conflict, stress, and despair defined my life.
corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.?) the nature, fruit and life of Christ began to bust forth from me. I realized Heavenly Father had lifted the veil allowing me to fully embrace my bridegroom, Christ Jesus. Through a process of study and training at Exchanged Life Ministries in Denver, CO, I now walk in confidence in my new identity in Him, soaking in the indescribable and vast love of my Heavenly Father who is completely good and faithful. He keeps all His promises and continues to take me to deeper places in Him. As I enter into that intimate relationship with Christ and align myself with my oneness with Him, it?s Christ?s life that is displayed in and through me. So, as you attend or participate in weddings this June, or as you celebrate Father ?s Day, no matter what your relationship with your earthly father is, I pray that you will rejoice in the immense love of your heavenly Father for it was He who lifted your veil and ushered you into that intimate relationship with your bridegroom, Jesus Christ. Choose to fully embrace your new identity in Christ so that, with me, you can joyfully say, or perhaps sing, ?Christ is bustin?out all over!!?
What joy busted forth as God brought revelation of 2 Corinthians 5:17: ?Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.? As I came into agreement with this as well as the truth of 2 Peter 1:3-4, (?His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, by which He has granted to us His precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the
For more information about training with Exchanged Life Ministries, go to www.elmco.org or call 303-770-LIFE (5433)
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BY BARBARA ELKIN In only the blink of an eye, Like only a dream fades with dawn, Twenty-five years flew on magical wings? And we savor a youth that?s now gone. Yet I?ll not mourn one moment as lost, Nor look back on the battles we won. For today is a wonder, tomorrow a hope, And it seems we have just now begun. I will treasure your love everyday, Thanking God for the gift that is you; And though challenge and trials await us ahead We have learned God will carry us through. So once more I pledge you my troth With more wisdom than I pledge it last. Again and forever I?d answer, ?I DO? If once more the question was asked? For Ken
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BY DONNA L. BARR
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omance novels. Hallmark movies. Jane Austen. Disney Princesses. This is my oldest daughter in a nutshell and this causes my otherwise level-headed husband to have misgivings that her future relationships could be based on a potential distortion of reality. This apple doesn?t fall far from the mother tree; I still struggle with my own set of unrealistic and lofty expectations in wedded bliss. She would be doomed had her father and I not displayed a realistically imperfect marriage relationship. My husband, a Navy veteran and experienced engineer, came from a home of 4/5 testosterone to one of 3/4 estrogen. He?s smart, focused, patient, laid-back, and gentle-natured which is an extreme blessing . . . most of the time. He is my best friend whom I love more with each passing year. I, however, live the way I grew up in a home of mostly women. I enjoyed independent living while working and attending college and as a stay-at-home Mom I continue that privilege of independence. We are really very compatible except for being male and female. My husband exemplifies Christ through his
calm way of handling people. I could learn a lot from him were I not finding fault where understanding could have bloomed. For instance, brides, I interpreted his forgetfulness as a lack of integrity because he didn?t keep his word and do something he said he would do. And when he didn?t pay attention and listen the first time I said something, I considered him rude and neglectful. Oh, and when he was messy around the house, well that was just the greatest form of disrespect there was! It?s interesting to note that in Genesis 2:18, God didn?t say, ?I will make a complainer for him? or ?I will make a criticizer for him? or ?I will make an impatient, short-tempered woman for him?. In His perfect wisdom God said, ?I will make a helper comparable for him.? A helper, someone who aids and supports. After twenty years I remain convicted of my unfair attitude of perfectionism that desires improvement over grace. The Lord did after all create both of us with certain ?bents?. (I?m not referring to habitual sin here that needs to be addressed scripturally). Graciously, the Lord has taught me a few practical ways to be that ?helper ?. First, I had to learn to ask questions. By finding out why my husband was doing things the way he was, I gained insight into his thought processes. Was he
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Goddidn?t say, ?I will makea complainer for him?or ?I will makea criticizer for him? or ?I will makean impatient, short-temperedwoman for him?. In Hisperfect wisdom Godsaid, ?I will makea helper comparablefor him.? being forgetful or did he change his mind for some reason? Did something unforeseen happen? Many times the answer was not what I expected. I had misjudged. I was wr . . . wr . . . wrong. (It?s hard to admit sometimes, isn?t it ladies?) Involvement with godly men helped him develop in maturity and leadership. He regularly attends men?s Bible studies and he enjoys a meal and plays golf with a good friend. Support him in growing alongside other Christian men; they need that time just as we women do. Never underestimate the power of praying for your husband. There?s a remarkable passage on prayer in 2 Chronicles 20:1-30. I encourage you to read it and to make a brief list of the events as they unfold to see God?s extraordinary hand at
work! I feel these verses can also be applied to praying for our spouses. King Jehoshaphat feared neighboring enemies that rose up against Judah so he sought the Lord for guidance. Jahaziel told him, ?Don?t be afraid, the battle is not yours, but God?s? (v. 15). . . ?You will not need to fight in this battle? (v. 17). Wives, as much as you want to change your husband, he is not your enemy. Division is your enemy. You do not need to fight your husband. YOU do not need to battle. ?Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the LORD, who is with you? (v. 17). Let Him do the work . . . in both of you! Allow your husband to be himself and accept him as he is. Free him to be perfectly imperfect and enjoy living happily ever after!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Donna and Ed the Engineer have been married for twenty-two years and make their home in Pennsylvania. Donna loves being ?Mamasita?to their beautiful daughters, Ashley and Rachel, and to one tuxedo cat, Cookie. She worked in the administrative and medical fields (both human and animal), and serves in various children?s and women?s ministries. Her first love for writing gained her recognition in research and report writing, speech writing, and in print in both newspaper and magazine She considers it a high honor to encourage women to gain refreshment in the simple basics of knowing Jesus through a passion for His Word and through intercessory prayer, walking with Him peacefully amid the demanding and often over-scheduled culture impacting today?s families. God is a God of second chances! Traveling, genealogy research and family nights at home are among her favorite things. Cleaning, laundry and ironing did not make the list.
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ANORDINARYWOMAN
BY M ICHELLE GRANADO
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recently hadtheprivilegeof sittingdown and talkingwitha woman whosegenerosity has madea differencefor a thousandandwill continuetomakea differencefor many families in theDenver area for yearstocome.
Rose Andom is petite in stature, but a giant of generosity. Rose was a successful businesswoman who began to feel a tug on her heart to give back to her community. At lunch with longtime friend Denver Mayor Michael Hancock, Rose expressed an interest in giving financially to a community initiative. When Mayor Hancock asked what issue she was most passionate about and where her efforts would be most efficiently used, Rose chose domestic violence, the effects of which hit close to home for her. Rose had experienced firsthand the effects of domestic violence on a family. With tears streaming down her face, she recalls times when she had witnessed her dad physically abusing her mother. She remembered the night she, her siblings, and her mother fled their home in Oklahoma to go to Kansas City to stay with relatives. Later in marriage, she endured mental and emotional abuse from her spouse. ?When I left in 1982,? Rose recounts tearfully, ?I left with a few pieces of clothes and not even ten dollars.? Over the years she had not dwelt on these harsh experiences, but had been driven to work harder and become successful and financially self-sufficient.
?I alwaysknewthat what I had been given wasnot only for me.?
11 Rose Andom has always considered the words of Luke 12:48--?To whom much is given much is expected?? and always felt that there was something she had to do with what she had been given. In her own words, ?I always knew that what I had been given was not only for me.?
individuals have come on board with the project and donated generously of time, talent, and treasure to bring the vision to reality. The center is about one year old now. Located in downtown Denver, it is the first of its kind in the Rocky Mountain region.
Out of that meeting with Mayor Hancock, the Rose Andom Center was borne. They went to work on the vision of a ?one stop shop?, as Rose calls it, where someone fleeing domestic violence can have access to the resources, agencies, and information they need to move on with their lives, all under one roof. Rose says that Mayor Hancock was excited because the city needed to establish a center to coordinate the care and resources for victims of domestic violence, but had not been able to garner the resources. Rose says they visited and researched family justice centers in other states to build a model for the center.
The resources the center provides are available to anyone in the state of Colorado and it has already helped more than one thousand people. The design of the center has an atmosphere of warmth, so that survivors don't feel intimidated. The building has even won an architectural award. Rose is on the board of directors now. When she talks about the center there is a twinkle in her eye, like a proud mother content her child. When I asked Rose if her vision or goal for the center had been fulfilled, she said, ?My vision is that there would be no need for it. But my secondary goal? realizing that this one is lofty? is that we serve as many survivors as we can and help them move on to a better life.?
Rose donated one million dollars to the initial project and has donated another six hundred thousand since then. Many agencies and
Rose Andom has inspired me to live a more generous life, to do something to ease the burden of those in my sphere of influence.
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At the Rose Andom Center, individuals impacted by domestic violence only need to come to on e place to access com m u n it y or gan izat ion s and gover n m en t agen cies who work together to provide a wide range of services.
Too m an y people in ou r com m u n it y exper ien ce ph ysical, em ot ion al, psych ological, an d f in an cial abu se in t h eir in t im at e r elat ion sh ips. Par t n er agen cies in clu de:
Vict im s an d t h eir ch ildr en can access: -
Domestic Violence Counseling Advocacy Crisis Intervention Civil legal support Law Enforcement Services Job Search Assistance Housing referrals Public Benefits Assistance
These services, among others, are available w h et h er or n ot a victim chooses to report to law enforcement
roseandomcenter.org 720-337-4400 | info@andomcenter.org Services available at 1330 Fox Street Denver, CO 80204
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SafeHouse Denver Project Safeguard Colorado Legal Services Colorado Coalition for the Homeless Denver Children's Advocacy Center Denver Department of Human Services Healing from the Heart Servicios de la Raza Dress for Success Mental Health Center of Denver The Blue Bench Project PAVE Asian Pacific Development Center Denver Domestic Violence Coordinating Council Denver Police - Victim Assistance Unit Denver City Attorney's Office Denver County Court Probation Victim Advocate
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BY BARBARA ELKIN Lord, how do You teach us what love is I n ways that our hearts understand? You give us a friend and a partner T hen lead us along by Your hand. You bind our hearts fast to another's Entwine us and make us like one, T ill we're woven so closely together T hat nothing makes love come undone. You give us life's joys and life's sorrows And strength to meet what comes our way, And we gradually learn to look past ourselves As we walk through this world day by day You give us the time to discover T hat You are the Source that fulfills And You draw us again to Your pathway W henever we stray from Your will. I n the briefest of lifetimes You teach us Each lesson of love we should know, And when from our loved ones we're parted Our hearts break- - and tears overflow. As suddenly, Lord, we are certain Of what we have known all along- T hat the love You have built in us daily I s the source that has made us so strong T hough my strength tries to crumble and fail me, You have taught me love goes on within, And this knowledge of love brings me peace, For I know this life's end is where true life begins
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BY M ICHELLE GRANADO
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ike the blurred pictures below, my understanding of marriage was not clear on my wedding day. But I remember a desire and determination to put God at the center of the two of us. I remember a sense of knowing that the wedding was only the beginning and that our marriage would be my life?s work. I was determined to give all of me to my husband. The middle years were rough and storms seemed to rush in one after the other. A great tempest threatened to destroy our marriage and indeed even our personhood? but God, who turns all things for our good, intervened. My marriage had become an idol in my life, but as it began to crumble, God, who is love, came into full view. When I became starkly aware that I could no longer ?do it? (God knew I never could), I looked to the only one who could, my Father in heaven, and he rescued me, and mended my broken heart and my broken life.
Wisdom taught me: ??Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind?; and, ?Love your neighbor as yourself.?" (Luke 10:27) In this way, God broke through and taught me about real, unconditional love, and gave me that love so that I could give love to others. Love transcended circumstances and emotions. Love suffered long. Love caused me to see what I thought I knew about life in an entirely different light. In this season, I became a new creature with new vision. God?s Word became my anchor. No longer could I point the finger of fault at my husband, but now I had to take responsibility for my contribution to our marital problems.
"Youhypocrite, first takethelogout of your own eye, andthen youwill seeclearly to takethespeck out of your brother?seye. " -Matthew7:5 My picture of marriage is clearer 31 years later than on my wedding day. I have come
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to understand that none of us are perfect, for perfection is not of man, but we are made perfect in love. It is God who kept us together and brought us through to the other side. No longer is my spouse the enemy within. Now, we can share victories and triumphs over trials and a faith in God that will not end. The love I now have for my husband is deeper, not based on his actions or inactions, but on his intrinsic worth? as father, husband, child of God, and friend. I have come to accept him for who he is and to love him there. A strong marriage is not one without any troubles, but one that can weather the storms. The foundation of it is love, and love endures forever? the strength of it borne out through the difficult seasons or indeed despite them. Now, on reflection, I know that it is in part because of who my husband is that I am the woman I am. I appreciate the support he has given me and how he has walked alongside me to accomplish the things God has called me to do. I have come to this place of peace: we are better together, and a force to be reckoned with for the glory of God.
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