Is Your Baby a Good Sleeper?

By Ashley Crowe

Babies can be difficult. And baby sleep can be the most difficult thing to figure out. If you have a little one, then you’ve heard the million-dollar question:

This question can be the absolute worst. None of my babies have been good sleepers. All three were crap sleepers. And as a first-time mom, this question always left me feeling horrible.

I spent so many nights Googling how to get my kids to sleep. I read ALL of the articles. I tried almost all of the things: the pickup/put-down method, backing a chair slowly out of the room, rubbing his back without picking him up, not making eye contact, laying him down drowsy but not asleep.

And none of it worked.

I just knew that I was doing everything wrong. Between a birth that didn’t go as planned, a rough start to breastfeeding, and a lack of sleep for everyone in the house, I felt like a failure.

Sound familiar? This guilt is all too common.

After months of battling my child’s sleep, a switch flipped in my brain. I realized the secret that no sleep book or coach wants to tell you — every baby is different.

Their needs, their likes, their timeline. Not one child is the same as another. No one wants to tell you that your baby isn’t broken. Nobody educates new parents on what is biologically normal baby (and toddler) sleep.

But this simple realization is what finally broke my cycle of stress, guilt, and sleep deprivation.

It is ok to break the sleep “rules” that all of the baby gurus tell you (keeping safety in mind, of course).

If you rock your baby to sleep, that’s ok. If you sing your child to sleep every night, that’s great. If your kid needs to lay down with you until they fall asleep, that is so normal (and it can even be a great way for you both to end your day).

Your kid will learn how to sleep on their own when they are ready. They won’t always need you to rock them. You are not setting them up with “bad habits”. You are giving your child what they need. And you are establishing a strong connection with them in the process.

The realization that every baby is different has helped me immensely during my parenting journey. It has informed many of my parenting choices over the last six years. And it has taken away so much of my stress.

I still feel a twinge of guilt when I think of all the “sleep tricks” I tried to use on my first. Especially the advice to not make eye contact with your awake baby when trying to get them back to sleep.

I wasted so many nights not connecting with my child. And that is a bummer. Because now that I’ve done it a few times over, I have come to realize that parenting is all about connection.

Whatever works best for your family. Try some different sleep arrangements. Switch up that bedtime routine if it’s not working for you. Listen to your baby — they will let you know what they need.

Some babies love their own space. And will fall asleep while reading a bedtime story (at least, that’s what I hear. I have yet to experience that magic).

Others you will rock until they are two. And there will be nights when that is frustrating. When you wish you could just lay them down and watch that movie with your partner. But I promise, when you look back, you will not regret this time with your child.

Your baby will grow up, and they will sleep. All on their own...eventually.

If they need to hear that song three times, have their backs rubbed, or have their white noise machine just so, don’t worry. It is not forever. And giving in to their needs is not setting them up for failure.

They will sleep. And so will you.

Ashley Crowe is a content marketer and copywriter specializing in early childhood.She homeschools her three boys, and whenshe has enough coffee and time, she writes.If your product or service is designed toreduce the overwhelm that parents feeldaily, and you want to share it far and wide,you can reach out to Ashley on her website.