The Missing Piece of the Pregnancy Puzzle

By Angela Shakti Sparks

Moms want the best for their children and will do whatever it takes to set them up for success, but what if there is an underlying force at play that could set everyone up for difficulties?

Think back to your childhood. Was either a parent or a caregiver emotionally reactive, angry, depressed, or anxious? Was there poor communication or were arguments left unresolved?

Did anyone have issues with drugs, alcohol, or food, or experience heart disease or a chronic health condition? Was there a divorce?

These elements all contribute to the adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) that may have shaped and directed the life that you are living now, and if you allow it, they can shape the lives of your children, both in the womb and beyond.

According to the CDC, ACEs are associated with an increased risk for physical and mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, heart disease, and drug/alcohol abuse. Studies show that having four or more ACEs is associated with a 460% increase in the likelihood of developing depression and increases suicide risk by 1,220%.

Your ACE score is determined by a ten-question test that asks about childhood experiences around various family dynamics, as well as about divorce, sexual experiences, and alcohol/drug abuse.

Consider how emotions were modeled in your home. Were they allowed or was it not okay to show emotions? Was it acceptable to fully process grief or was the rule to “suck it up”?

Also, was it modeled to practice self-care and do work that you love? Or were you expected to work hard at an unfulfilling job and please everyone else first?

In our society, we tend to normalize dysfunctional patterns. In doing so, we hold ourselves in unhealthy and destructive patterns. It sets the stage for chronic illness, and it sets an example for our children.

Ask yourself (without judgment), what dysfunctional patterns am I normalizing, living with, or ignoring? Also, how often do you find yourself living with states of low (or high)level worry and stress, fatigue, or hypervigilance?

Even low-level stress and anxiety flood your body with stress hormones. Not only is this detrimental to your health,

Research indicates that a mother’s negative biochemical state can set her child up for depression, addiction, and other maladaptive patterns. Chronic anxiety, for example, has been indicated in trauma-based results such as prematurity, birth complications, death, and miscarriage.

This is why healing unresolved ACEs and learning to process emotions effectively is critical for the health and happiness of your baby to be, as well as your own.

Our experiences in the womb and early childhood impact our entire life from our health and happiness to our relationships. We can't change what we went through, but we can do the work to heal our womb and childhood wounds so they don't have a detrimental effect on our children or lead us down the path to illness.

It can seem daunting when we don’t feel we have the time or energy. Know that it is way more painful, energy-draining, and time-sucking to have unresolved negative experiences wreaking havoc in your body, torturing your mind, and rippling out to those you love than it is to work through them and let them go.

Then it's simply a matter of incorporating positive habits into your daily routine. These ideally include effective emotional processing skills and empowering self-care practices.

Remember, the more you appreciate, the more you will experience things to appreciate.

This holistic healing journey promises more health and happiness for you and your baby, as well as more clarity, possibility, and balance in your life.

If you are currently experiencing stress and overwhelm, here is an easy practice you can work with to bring more peace and calm to your body and mind. (As studied by the HeartMath Institute).

1. Close your eyes and take slow, deep belly breaths, visualizing your breath moving in/out through your heart.

2. Bring to mind something you appreciate and feel the appreciation. Perhaps it’s bubbly joy or peaceful gratitude.

3. Breathe this feeling in/out through the heart for 3-5 minutes. Practice 1- 2x daily.

Angela Shakti Sparks guides women in their healing journey with hypnotherapy, timeline therapy, and other deeply transformative processes. She specializes in working with women around emotional healing and resilience, overcoming anxiety and depression, and healing holistically from chronic health conditions. For more resources on healing ACEs, visit www.angelashaktisparks.com and download a complimentary Anxiety Relief Guide at www.angelashaktisparks.com/anxiety-relief