ON THE ADVENTURE TRAIL by Ken Nowicki
CRITICAL CRITTER THEORY
I
“Management implications of highly resolved hierarchical population genetic structure in thinhorn sheep.”* * Conserv. Genet. 20, 185-201
never know what to expect from my friends Lead-On Highfee and Packtrain MacNamee when we get together down at Ruby’s Café. But I can be sure they will be entertaining and often educational. It’s more entertaining when they argue with each other and don’t pick on me. I am always hopeful that they give me some tips for finding big rams. On this day they were debating equine husbandry. Or so I thought. “You can’t judge a horse by the color of the hide,” Packtrain said with emphasis. “If you can judge a horse so good,” sneered Lead-On, “How come you missed the Kentucky Derby winner?” “Because I didn’t get to see them with my own eyes. All I see on TV is shades of gray.” “Maybe you should buy a new color model with high definition.” “I can help you with that,” I beamed. “You’ll be able to see the pucks when you watch a hockey game. I’ll set you up with live stream.” “Listen up Boy,” said Packtrain. “We is talking about critical issues here. The standards we are discussing concern holding up time-honored interpretations and social constructs from a period when North Americans were less concerned about correct classifications and about cultural norms that reflected distributions related to geopolitical boundaries.” My head was spinning. What 156 WILD S HEEP® ~ SUMMER 2022
were they talking about? I could see they were studying the 2022 British Columbia Hunting Regulations. “We’ve said it before,” emphasized Lead-On. “Now the biologits are confirming what we always said. It take’s more than a few black hairs to turn a Dall’s sheep into a Stone’s.” “Well, I have shot a sheep that might be called a Fannin,” I said. “It’s got a white face and a black and white salt and pepper cape. I thought it was a Stone/Dall crossbreed.” “Get woke,” snapped Packtrain. “Here’s the actual scientific paper and it says and I quote;” As an indicator of the resulting significant change proposed in subspecies range distribution, the authors of the above study have categorically stated that virtually all Thinhorn sheep in the Yukon (which have dark coats and have always been hunted as Stone’s sheep) are more correctly classified as Dall’s sheep, making the worldwide distribution for Stone’s sheep almost entirely with British Columbia. This presents a radical departure from long held beliefs that coat color is a reliable way to distinguish subspecies, and it is likely to be met with significant skepticism from at least some of the hunting community. “Do you know what the ramifications of this are?” Lead-On fixed me with his beady eyes. “Rams ain’t Stone’s if they ain’t shot in B.C.” “I guess,” I replied. “That’s ramification. But who says so?”
“Scienstits and Biolgits,” Lead-On was spitting up a chew and I backed off a respectable social distance about two chairs down at Ruby’s lunch counter. “These idjits and egg-heads are saying there’s no Stone’s in the Yukon.” “But that will upset the members of the Fullhouse Collection Club (FCC) and the Stone and Bone Accumulators Organization (SBAO) not to mention other venerable record keeping institutions like the Wild Sheep Foundation, and we are all members of that.” I was flabbergast. “Youse are correct,” Packtrain said. “And the outfitters in BC are going to be dancing a jig right down to the bank. I wish I was back outfitting. What do you think a pure strain Stone’s sheep hunt will bring?” “Top dollar, for sure. And they is already a pretty penny,” Lead-On said and shook his head. “But this ain’t the first controversy I’ve seen in the hunting business. Did you ever consider how many species of bears they are touting as separate award categories. I don’t know if it’s hunters that hype these differences or outfitters with an agenda.” “It ain’t a black and white problem, Boy. Black bears are black bears, but they come in lots of colors. There are blacks and cinammons and browns and blue glacier bears and even white Kermodes.” “Caribou too, I guess,” I ventured.
