WHITE COLLAR | ISSUE 010
your views. People can smell a lie a mile away and it will end up causing disconnect instead of closeness. Discussing things that might be uncomfortable is part of the process and vulnerability is key when fostering a genuine connection.
Both should answer the questions before moving on to the next one: one party should ask the questions, and after the other party has given their answers, they could give their answer as well.
Don’t rush through the questions: The point is to have productive conversation, not to complete an exam.
Follow through on everything, even the 4 minute session of eye-contact at the end of these questions. With this in mind we have to ask the question, what about how things worked before? What about physical attraction, spontaneity and seemingly effortless conversation that leads to affection? Well, if you’re one of the few who has no problem navigating the awkward mine-field that is ‘human interaction’ then sure, by all means stick to the method that’s always worked for you. This study and questions in no way cancel out the way people fell in love in the past, if anything they give an opportunity to those who have a hard time opening up to try their hand at getting affection. Some would argue that this ‘laboratory manufactured’ love isn’t as real or authentic as the kind that happens spontaneously, simply because of how it came about. I mean, can intimacy be manufactured? Would it be real? These questions are difficult to answer because they are just like most other human experiences, love and intimacy are incredibly subjective and as far as we know people can experience the same event in completely different ways. Case in point, look at all the generic prank shows
out there where the same prank is carried out different unsuspecting individuals and in turn we get a diverse range of reactions. The movie Newness, by director Drake Doremus and writer Ben York Jones, interrogates this thought through Martin and Gabi’s date when He asks her if she’s ever been in love and she answered “yes, I think so, I mean when people say they’re in love it’s because they think they’re in love, right?” Point being there really isn’t a way to quantify this experience outside of the individual. So whether it happens organically or in a controlled environment, it’s up to the people involved to determine how real what they have is, and no one else. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here are the 36, closeness generating, questions:
Set I
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? 2. Would you like to be famous? In what way? 3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? 4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you? 5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? 6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? 7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? 8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. 9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
A MAGAZINE FOR THE CAREER-PERSON AND ENTREPRENEUR
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