X-Pat Expert - Adrian Mackinder

Adrian Mackinder Mackinder in DK

The struggles of becoming a bilingual family in Copenhagen.

“Emphasis was placed on academic excellence and how many pickled onion Space Raiders you could stuff in your mouth during lunch break.”

@adrian_mackinder

Adrian is a part time actor, author, comic book fan and father of two.

Starting School

This August, my son finally started school in Denmark. It was a moment of trepidation for all of us. His world is about to be turned upside down after years of børnehaven (Danish kindergarten). For us parents, it’s a myriad of anxious questions. Will he like it? Will he make friends? Why does the school year start a month earlier than most of the world?

Danish school starts just after 8am and finishes at 2pm. Yes, you read that right. You have to pick them up just after lunch. Fortunately, there is a uniquely Danish thing called SFO, basically a holding pen for bored kids to muck about in under minimum supervision until they get picked up.

So this SFO runs every day until 5pm and the kids can run around until you are physically able to come pick them up. At first, of course, we are still picking him up around 3 p.m. because otherwise he’s just shattered. For Danes, your world revolves around the kids, not the other way round. Which is fine in theory, but it makes managing your world quite tough – especially when compared with my own school experience.

I should point out that growing up in England, I went to a ridiculously anachronistic school. Five hundred years old, founded by the son of iconic fat wifekilling psychopath Tudor monarch, Henry VIII. Formal, archaic, draconian and strict. Think Hogwarts, but only ALL the kids were muggles. That said, I had a great time. I learned a lot, I still have daily WhatsApp chats with fellow school friends more than twenty five years after leaving, and I wish such treasured aspects from my youth upon my own children. But therein lies another challenge.

My education was pretty regimented. Structure was the order of the day. Now he has been there for around two months, I am surprised by how, ahem, ‘relaxed’ it all is. They say the best way to learn is through play, and I thoroughly believe that. I just hope that there’s enough structure that this opportunity is not squandered through a decade of dicking about with LEGO.

Then again, I’m probably missing the point. The purpose of school is arguably to help create and nurture happy, well-rounded individuals. Kindness is clearly a more useful life skill than knowledge of quadratic equations or the Reform Act of 1832. That said, I wouldn’t have achieved so many things in my adult life that I’m incredibly proud of without my classical, academic education. I was very lucky. Many aren’t. And that was then. This is now.

So now, we take him in each morning, keeping one eye on how things are going. Asking questions without pushing, making sure he feels loved and secure when he gets home, and waiting for things to settle down. And I know that if I could wave a magic wand and cast a spell to make everything smooth sailing, I would. But even I didn’t get taught that.