Moving Melodies
“well if they wanted me, they’d have to bring me in dead.”
these are the last words i said to @disco___very as i left for the night, headed west for the valley.
the hills were anything but ideal.
about midway there she turned to me and said, “i wonder how many people have died on these roads.”
exactly what you want to fucking hear while clenching the steering wheel for dear life.
by the time we finished setting up camp, @jpegsessions had taken to the stage for a hell of a performance as always.
i had the privilege of marching with (i believe*) all four members back in college, and i along with many others can advocate for how talented these fuckers are.
i think i’ve seen them at least 4 times now and each time it’s a new experience. after this was the best of the best disk jockeys in the west.
g-funk record producer/dj co-founder/owner of MoFunk
straight outta the 626
father with a regularly uploaded compilation series titled songs for my friends @_carinyo
this dude does a fuck ton so you’ll just have to check is link tree in his bio @groovydrewmusic
and last but not least my ex-manager, the man to make it happen, mr. mis huevos son tus ojos botanist/photographer/sex symbol @disco___very
everyone mentioned always has something going on, so if you are looking for something to do i highly suggest following and hitting them up from time to time to see what’s going on!
on the way home, the stars played tag in the morning sky while me and her looked for yet another place to lay our heads.
when we got home, the sun was already up.
farewell @intermountain_nursey! thank you for your devotion to preserving plant native to california & the public.
to the fucking nursery’s!
by @daisy_2house
Myhellisthedepthsofmymindthatcan’tbecontrolled, I’;mholdingaloadedguntomythoughts,playingrussianroulettewithwhichone cansetmeoff.
Tangledinmylimbs arethoughtsinthedeepestcrevices thatshouldn’tbeopened. Maskedbyoptimism andalackofdealingwithwhatisreal.
Icannotfeel.
IfIdon’tgetaholdofwhatisgoingon Iwillspiral.
Toomuchnoise, toomuchquiet, myhell,myownpersonalhell.
Trappedinmymind knowing,feelingIaminaconstantloop.
IaminacomaknowingIwon‘twakeup, knowingIcan’tgetout.
Iaminaconsciouscoma.
Acurtainwasdrawn, allofmyrealthoughts andhowItrulyfeelislookingbackatme. Mymindiscontrollingme,it’snotreal.
Notbeingabletodecipher fromrealityandmyimagination.
Arethosemythoughts orarethosemywords-
Ihateit,Ihateit,Ihateit.
I’mstuckinanevergoingloopknowing timeispassing, butnotknowinghowfastorslow.
I’mstuck,I’mstuck,getmeout!
Mymindholdsmecaptive, shuttingmedownfromthetruth, preventingmyselffromseeingthetruth, asacopingmechanismsoIcanatleastsurvive, soIcanatleastmakeitoutofthislifealive.
Myrightscapulabeingpointedskewedupwards, beingpulledupbyneedles,pins,andbraidedseafishingline. Iamapuppetwithinmyownmind.
Mysuicidalthoughtsemphasizedandamplified. Suicidebeingblastthroughaspeakerblaringintomyears. Myhandunknownsttotheotherhand attemptingtostrangleitself.
Ifeelmute, Ican‘tspeak, Ihavenothingtosay.
Mymindisempty, myneurotransmittersdisconnected, unabletofeelhappiness,unabletofeelpain. Ionlyfeelneutral,Ionlyfeelokay.
Nothingisexciting, nothingisnew, theonlysensationIfeelisrepetition.
Myrosecoloredglassesareoff andallIseearethingsforwhattheyare.
Ican‘tfeelanymore.
Tofeelagain Ihavetopushmyselftothepointofneardeath, toatleastfeelhuman, toatleastfeelalive.
Ifeelneutral,lifeisneutral. WhetherIamdeadoralive, neutralityitwillalwaysbe.
Iamokay,justokay. Stillbreathingbutwithnobreath,stillalivebutnotliving. Idon’tfeelliketalking,fornothingIsayisimportant. NothingIdomatters. NothingIfeelisreal.
PARA Mi Nana
I feel like I just came home.
I can see you in everything around me.
My life before this one is starting to make sense too.
From the colors on the wall, to the way you say my name.
All the sacrifices made. Is this what you left behind? This is why your heart aches?
I'm mourning too, for the time I missed, the time I will miss, and the life I never had.
It's a strange sense of belonging where I never could.
I bet you felt that too.
Vaya bien, where ever you may go.
