Homophonic version of Brecht’s ‘Ich habe dich nie je so geliebt’ Each harbour ditch nigh just so, glib master Al’s vehicle fought a king, fond dear, yay numb happens, their world shocks Mick, their blower world, master Under them inner shone the blackened stern in Western standing, each lecture can climb when its car’s nicked, master. Dare each spill and dunk men sip, Sal ain’t goin’ gagging warrant shone die, get sister hinder mere long psalm a bent display and world’s fur blasting Ah, less war, shone and diesel iron, see again a bend, master gnash her nigh wider underneath, who for freely mere believing no more die gross and vocal, dying happens in Dunglen, him ‘all hunger happen. JACQUIE SHANAHAN
The Candiru He’s a minuscule blood-sucking catfish that invades the private parts; a fiendish creature of Amazonia that causes loud discordant farts. When, rarely, he can do it, he does it with a gnu; he really is the sort of candidate nice people should eschew. He claims a disability allowance (he was born with half a brain); he’s got a shed full of ASBOs for being such a pain. So never invite him into your home for a friendly cup of tea; unless, that is, you want a candiru to end up as your local MP.
LAWRENCE HARRIS
The Oulipo
19