FIRE IN OUR HEARTS
CITY ON A HILL
Noel urged us to take the ‘central ground’ or we would be defeated. The drift had to stop. We refused the downward trend, and took measures to deepen our spirituality. We held short ‘brotherhood times’ before going to work. The Agape meal was set apart for members only, and there we reaffirmed our covenant, bared our hearts, and discussed weekly Bible readings round the tables. More prayer was urged upon us and shepherding groups were split down for closer reality. The drive was on! Some felt secure within a stronger framework, but, of itself, it couldn’t get to the root of the problem. In our zeal for outward holiness we had cooled on inward experience. ‘Lord can it be a church should die through loss of first fraternal love?’ asked one brother in his hymn. The answer was, ‘Yes!’ Form without power was useless. Now that I was back at the Hall, I realised that the deeps of brotherly love were not over-common. Away from Kelly’s wing, I discovered Zion’s problems. She had plenty of spots and warts. The Farm bristled with young men ‘being themselves’, while the Hall, with its families and older characters, seemed a little reserved and institutional. Either way, a spiritual dullness had settled over many parts of the church. ‘Do we really want the presence of God?’ I wrote in my journal. ‘Would it be too troublesome? We’ve got it nicely wrapped up. We are a well-ordered community. Rushing wind and tongues of fire? The awesomeness of God? Oh no! We’re content to know him in a relaxed way; you know — the “still, small voice”. And so the Bugbrooke revival becomes the Bugbrooke “denomination” and dies in the midst of prosperity.’ We were making outward changes — but where was the power of God? The joy and spontaneity? The miracles? The 214