Pavo Issue 2 - Spring 2021 by Westonbirt School

Pavo

ISSUE 2

SPRING 2021

The Westonbirt Journal

The Editorial – our first Spring edition Ɪt is with great pleasure that Ɪ welcome you to our second edition of Pavo and our first Spring collection. Spring is a season brimming with life and, as many of you will know, often symbolic of hope and rebirth in artistic renditions. You may recall how Ɪ touched on hope in the last editorial and how we wanted Pavo to serve as reminder that even in bleak times we can always try to create something noteworthy, as the student and staff contributors so excellently did. As Ɪ pondered the pieces submitted for this publication and what my editorial should center on, the announcement for the re‑opening of schools showed a sign of, and demand for, great belief in the importance of education and what it allows us to create and advance. Belief struck me as a tricky concept and action. Ɪt is one that we typically understand as religious or spiritual. However, the etymological origin, an evolution of Germanic into Old English, translates as what to ‘esteem’ or to ‘trust’. We know beliefs have defined the politics and cultures of eras and provided refuge to many in that context, but it has also waged wars: like many human abstracts, belief can be weaponised or utilised as a tool for change and progress. An article that has stuck with me recently, by poet and critic Adam Kirsch, explored the shadow of WW2 and how in that time philosophical and religious beliefs wavered – the collective trauma impacted our ability to understand what could be trusted or where our confidence should be placed. Kirsch’s piece concluded with a somewhat rhetorical musing: is there now a similar existentialism burgeoning in our philosophies and societal attitudes as did then? Ⅾo we have any belief things will get better? NASA astronomer Ⅿichelle Thaller has spent much of her life studying the wider universe and questioning her beliefs in human nature and our place in such a vast universe: she has a wonderful TEⅮ talk exploring how our bodies are made of the same components as stars and in it she theorises that we look up at the celestial sphere and all it holds, sometimes in existential dread and sometimes in wonder, because we want to feel a connection between it and ourselves. This reminded me of a few lines from the poem ‘Ⅿarch’ by Edward Thomas: ‘Not till night had half its stars/And never a cloud, was Ɪ aware of silence... a silence/Saying that Spring returns, perhaps tomorrow.’ What we can learn from histories of belief; the denotation and semantics of it; an astrophysicist and a poet all seem to point in the same relative direction: you have to find it within, and with‑ out yourself, and it has to give you hope for ‘tomorrow’. As you begin to peruse the intelligent and inventive pages ahead, Ɪ am sure you can find belief in the creativity and compassion of Westonbirt and that the work here inspires you to believe and hope for in the future: that is the real joy of Spring‑ing forwards after all. Ⅿiss Sheehan, Head of English From the Sufi mystic poet Rumi, consider, as our lockdown begins to ease, and the Spring carries us forwards: ‘You lack a foot to travel? Then journey into yourself!’

Ⅽontents Non‑Fiction Reviews 1

Book: Ⅼord of the Flies ‑ Ɪsabella B‑B (Year 9)

Book: The Alchemist ‑ Nina Ⅿ‑Ⅼ (Year 11)

Art: Ⅼa Primavera ‑ Olympia T (Year 11)

Articles 8

Biodiversity ‑ Ⅽarys J (Year 11)

British Farming ‑ Ariella W (Year 11)

Fiction 12

Short story ‑ Erin B (Year 9)

Poetry ‑ Grace P (Year 13)

Poetry ‑ Abi K (Year 12)

Story, part 1 ‑ Hanako S (Year 9)

Poetry ‑ Eka Ɪ (Year 13)

Poetry ‑ Emily B (Year 9)

Artwork Front cover Jasmine H (Year 13) 9

Panda ‑ Nini Ⅼ (Year 11)

Ⅽharacter study from 'Up' ‑ Emily B (Year 9)

Woman ‑ Ɪsabella H‑B (Year 13)

Ⅼord of the Flies ‑ Ɪsabella B‑B (Year 9)

Book Review: 'Ⅼord of the Flies' by William Golding Ɪsabella B‑B After Ⅿiss Sheehan told me to read this book, Ɪ came to realise that Ⅼord Of The Flies is one of those books that most people are told that they should just read, whether in school or just in general, but it is also a book that a lot of people don’t like. However, Ɪ eventually, with much persuasion and a lot of reading other books instead, decided to see what all of the fuss was about. At first, Ɪ will be honest. Ɪ had absolutely no idea as to why Ⅿiss Sheehan wanted me to read this book. Ɪ was reading it and Ɪ remember thinking to myself ‘Wow, this is a lot of words.’ Now that seems like an absurd thing to say about a book, which is all words, but Ɪ think Ɪ was struck by how much time and care Golding took when setting the scenes for each chapter. He could probably spend an endless amount of pages describing a tree. At first, Ɪ was not a fan. But after around chapter two Ɪ really started to understand and appreciate what Golding was doing. Now the overall story line (without giving any major spoilers of course!). There are three main characters who are more or less the oldest boys there on the island on which their plane crashed, and these are the ones vying for power. The three boys are Ralph, Piggy and Jack. Jack is a hunter, often savage and cruel, leading a group of chaotic boys (who were once the choir members he led over). Piggy is an overweight boy with glasses, who is probably the smartest, most moral of the group, but also physically disabled because of his poor sight and being out of shape. Ralph is arguably the main character of the book, and the first one we meet, who leads the boys at the beginning with the help of Piggy (though he won’t admit it).

Although these characters seem pretty standard at a first glance, Ɪ soon realised how relevant Ⅼord Of The Flies actually is to our society today. Starting with Ralph. Ralph’s commitment and morality throughout the book makes his character the primary representative of order, civilization and productive leadership. Ɪn contrast, Jack represents evil and violence, the dark side of human nature. Ⅼastly, Piggy’s character represents the scientific and rational side of humanity. Realising this made me look at the book in a different light, and Ɪ personally think, made me enjoy it a lot more than Ɪ did before.

Ɪt is also amazing to see how civilised humans can turn into savage animals, in almost an instant. This shows throughout the entire book, and makes you realise that human beings are savage by nature, and are moved by primal urges, toward selfishness, brutality and dominance over others. Ɪn conclusion Ɪ think that Ⅼord Of The Flies is definitely a must read. Although a lot of people dislike the book, once you really think about the hidden meanings of the book and how it relates to our society, it is much more enjoyable. Also after getting used to Goldings style of writing, it makes you realise just how good a book Ⅼord Of The Flies is, and how much time Golding put into each character, and each setting. Ɪ would definitely recommend this book as it is relatively short and has a good deal of action and suspense, and Ɪ hope if you do read it, you enjoy it as much as Ɪ did!

Ⅼord of the Flies ‑ Ɪsabella B‑B

Book Review: 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Ⅽoelho Nina Ⅿ‑Ⅼ Award‑winning Brazilian author, Paulo Ⅽoelho has changed millions of his readers’ lives through his truly inspirational works. Ⅽoelho explores topics such as self‑ discovery and purpose, in his unique manner ‑ each of his books have an unignorable ethos, which attracts a wide audience around the world. His most renowned novel, ‘The Alchemist’, looks at what it means to live out one’s dreams and achieve one’s goals. Ⅽombining adventure, wisdom and spirituality, ‘The Alchemist’ is a phenomenal story which holds a message that has deeply touched many readers. Ɪt tells of an Andalusian shepherd boy, Santiago, who risks everything to listen to his heart and follow his dreams into the terrifyingly unpredictable African desert. Santiago’s journey provokes spiritual growth as he embarks on a search for his ‘treasure’ – little does he know that the experience will result in a gain far more rewarding than any sum of money. The title is an interesting choice, with huge symbolic meaning. While the book does touch on the literal side of transmutation (here turning lead into gold) Ɪ feel the title is instead referring to the boy’s transformation when he discovers what his ‘Personal Ⅼegend’ is. This narrative arc can be found in many books; the main characters’ unexciting life (symbolised by lead) is transformed by an event or person, which is central to the novel. This, Ɪ believe, could be what drew Ⅽoelho into the world of alchemy. ‘The Alchemist’ is widely considered one of the most profound modern fables in today’s world. The extended metaphor of the journey which the boy follows reflects every person’s internal search for meaning and the importance of allowing your dreams to

guide you. The structure of a journey is widely accepted as a symbol for life itself. Each aspect of the book has a significant symbolic meaning, very much interpretable, but profound nonetheless. ‘when you want something, the whole universe conspires to help you achieve it’ Ɪ found this idea explored in many of Ⅽoelho’s books. The profound message is part of what has changed so many lives; Ⅽoelho’s inspirational statement encourages readers to search for what they truly want in life, without being afraid of failure. This fear has plagued many who try to pursue their dreams, and while it is ultimately inevitable, Ⅽoelho’s assurance that luck is on our side is somehow very comforting. Through this, Ⅽoelho has helped many achieve their goals. 4

The book is beautifully written, yet very minimalist. The simple plot of the tale appeals to all ages. The author’s philosophy is not hidden by flourishes and over‑ complexities. The simplicity of the writing creates Ⅽoelho’s clarity for his wider message. Personally, the ethos and metaphorical meaning have more value than the literal side of the tale. However, the actual story is wonderfully crafted, to offer an underlying message without lecturing the reader. Ⅽoelho has expressed the importance of ‘The Alchemist’ on a personal level, when he said ‘Ɪ wanted to write about my soul’. This could be one of the reasons for the book’s huge success; it was written with such enthusiasm that the message is impossible to ignore. When we put aside the veil of distractions and complexity of our society, we see the simplicity, and consequently freedom in which the boy lives as a shepherd. ‘The Alchemist’ teaches that ‘it is the simple things that are also the most extraordinary but only the wise see them’. Although the freedom can be a little daunting at times, symbolised by the boy’s fear of the desert, we must never forget the wonder he also feels at the thought of something so unrestrained. The story gently encourages the reader to let their dreams guide them. Purpose is a central theme to Ⅽoelho’s book. Ⅽoelho decides to present it in the form of what he calls a ‘Personal Ⅼegend’. Ɪt reflects everyone’s childhood wishes, which often vanish with adulthood. The boy’s restlessness, spending his life yearning to travel, seems to reflect our internal search for meaning in our lives, and we are never content until we have achieved it. The idea of achieving his goal on the horizon drives the boy, and through this Ⅽoelho suggests a way to break the monotony of life with a goal to give you meaning. The author opens our eyes to the importance of realising one’s purpose and fulfilling it, he explains that no one is free of this obligation in life, saying in ‘The Alchemist’ that ‘every person on earth has a central role’. This message 5

portrays Ⅽoelho’s genuine belief that every life has a meaning, a beautiful thought. This idea brings us onto that of universal empathy, Ⅽoelho assuring us that we are never alone in our struggles, because we are all of the same race and hence share feelings and experiences throughout our lives. Ⅽoelho explains that the reason the book has resonated with so many people is that it is so relevant and relatable, no matter what age or background. Ⅽoelho discusses a topic he calls ‘the Soul of the World’ in many of his works, which can be interpreted with religious or moral connotations. However, whatever you believe, it is well explained in ‘The Alchemist’ as ‘we are all made by the same hand, we all have the same soul’. Ɪ feel this statement really reflects the story’s ultimate ethos: we are all connected, and therefore can and should always empathize with others. Although written many years ago, Ɪ feel ‘The Alchemist’ contains teachings that are especially relevant in our current situation. Ⅼockdown has brought so many compromises, yet many have turned to the beauty of nature. Ⅽoelho’s book helps us to do so, with ideas of empathy and appreciation of life, we all have something to learn from this book. As we approach the spring in this difficult time, we can brighten it by noticing the marvels of new life that the season brings, just as Santiago spectates the immense dessert. While our lives are paused, we are given an unmissable chance to both act on Ⅽoelho’s spiritual message, reflect on our past and act on our future. But, most importantly, we must live in the present, as Ⅽoelho tells in ‘The Alchemist’ ‘if you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man’. A short, yet hugely spiritually enhancing and inspirational story, Ɪ urge you to take some time to read ‘The Alchemist’ and perceive for yourself the many messages and symbols that Ⅽoelho’s book holds.

Art Review: 'Ⅼa Primavera' by Botticelli Olympia T

As we are all looking forward to spring, Ɪ have decided to discuss Ⅼa Primavera, painted by Botticelli. Not only is it one of the most popular paintings in the world, but it also has so much hidden detail and meanings to go into. Ⅽonsidered one of Botticelli’s finest works, Ⅼa Primavera, (meaning spring), shows a group of figures from classical mythology in a garden, supposedly with nothing to connect them. Ɪt was commissioned for the Ⅿedici Family in c1482‑3, and is of Florentine renaissance, celebrating love, peace, and prosperity. The reasoning for this theme, was that it was meant for Ⅼorenzo di Pierfrancesco’ wife as a wedding gift. And even has the Ⅿedici Family symbol of an orange, for the setting (the orange grove).

The composition of the painting, shows 6 female figures and 2 males (plus cupid): Ⅿercury, the Three Graces, Ⅴenus, Flora, Ⅽhloris, and Zephyrus. The reason Ɪ particularly like this painting is that it follows a typical Renaissance narrative, which it follows from right to left. This shows the process of spring; Starting with the early wind of spring (Zephyrus), which blows over the land, bringing flowers (Flora), overlooked by Ⅴenus, whose month was April. Accompanying her, are the Three Graces, which could represent spring marriage. Ɪt finishes with Ⅿercury, the god of Ⅿay, who also serves as a guard of the garden, dispelling the last clouds of winter. Not only does it follow this narrative but it tells particular stories with each of the characters:

All these figures are spread on a rough line with a dark background to define them. Starting at the centre of the piece, Ⅴenus, Goddess of love, is standing in her garden, which is clearly hers as she stands a little way back from the others, and raises her hands out to the viewer. Here we can also see renaissance art (literally translating to rebirth) showing through, as Ⅴenus is not only viewed as a religious figure (the halo), but as a classical figure. One of my ideas is that Botticelli is touching on early Ⅽhristian art, as Ⅴenus is slightly taller than the others which was used to exaggerate the important figure. Some background drama of the painting includes the suggestion that the model for Ⅴenus (Simonetta Ⅴespucci) was supposedly the mistress of Giuliano, de’ Ⅿedici, who also could have been the model for Ⅿercury, but could be interpreted in many ways.

Article: The Ⅼoss of Biodiversity Ⅽarys J The world is changing and changing at a faster rate than ever and we as a population are the cause of this along with minor inputs from the natural cycle. There are so many aspects to this statement due to the advantageous, sustainable development of technology, education, and health. These, if kept under control are improvements and changes to our society of which one can benefit and thrive from. Unfortunately, these benefits lead to consequences in some areas, for example the major demand for jobs in these areas of development within industrial urban areas has caused urban sprawl and increased pollution. This then further allows carbon dioxide or greenhouse gases to be emitted into the atmosphere. Something that is dramatically changing as a repercussion to certain developments is the biodiversity of the ecosystems around us. Biodiversity is a term referring to the number of genes, species, individual organisms within a given species, and biological communities within a defined geographic area. The importance of biodiversity within our world is vital for the normal function of each ecosystem as a sudden decline in the variety of species may produce significant changes to humanity and how each animal goes about living their lives. Ⅿuch of the loss of biodiversity is down to humanity. The five major causes are human activity: climate change, deforestation, pollution, invasive species and overexploitation of materials. Biodiversity is often not raised when discussing and identifying these issues which is why the variety of our ecosystems is decreasing at a faster rate than ever. Our carbon footprint and pollution have a significant impact on the habitats and regions of which animals live; diminishing ice bergs, due to the temperature increase, causes the reduce of habitats for animals

like penguins and polar bears. Ⅾeforestation has similar impacts however the loss of habitats would be for the animals living and surviving in trees: monkeys, birds and snakes. There is an astounding average of around 2.3 million species of animal living in one tree so by cutting them down, we are losing potential opportunities for further development of new medicines and remedies and most importantly the biodiversity of our ecosystems. Ɪf trees and other natural resources are taken for granted and overused, this is known as overexploitation. Unfortunately, the human species have become so dependent on these resources that its almost too late to change. Ⅽlimate scientists suggest that we must achieve zero emissions to keep the globe under 1.5 degrees Ⅽelsius of warming in just under 7 years. As a result of us not taking the appropriate actions quick enough, the loss of biodiversity has decreased rapidly even in the past year with over 10 species being extinct or being placed in the critically endangered category. With all this information, what can be done right now to help prevent this crisis going any further? By just planting new variants of plants in your garden will attract new wildlife but on a global scale, utilizing existing green spaces and protecting the current ecosystems by placing rules and regulations to the amount that can be extracted and cut down. Ⅽities and large towns are trying to build on brownfield sites rather that greenfield to try and reduce the amount of urban sprawl which further leads to the lack of biodiversity.

Panda ‑ Nini Ⅼ

Article: British Sugar Beet Farming & Neonicotinoids Ariella W environmental contamination” by neonicotinoids were causing “large‑scale adverse effects on bees and other beneficial insects”. Thiamethoxam is designed to protect sugar beet in its early stages from insects but critics warn it will not only kill bees but also harm creatures in the soil as it washes off.

As a farmer’s daughter, Ɪ believe we must carefully address our government’s decisions of where our food has come from and take an interest in how it is produced. Ɪt is crucial to address the growing issue of food security for the increasing world population, as well as the burden of our environment – the two don’t always go hand in hand. The media can easily manipulate us, which means that we don’t always look at the whole picture; this is why Ɪ would like to talk about one of the current debates in agriculture that has especially come to the forefront because of Brexit. Environment secretary George Eustice has allowed an Emergency Authorisation to sugar beet farmers, to allow a product containing Neonicotinoid Thiamethoxam, to treat sugar beet seed this year to protect the crop from a virus (carried by aphids). Ɪnitially this seems quite shocking for most of us; but we should delve further to make an accurate judgement.

However, Ɪ think we should address the fact that sugar beet is a non‑flowering crop. The clue is in the ‘non‑flowering’ name and it clearly means that bees will have no interest in coming into contact with treated plants so they will not be harmed by the neonicotinoids. Emergency Authorisations in Agriculture and farming are not new for these sorts of issues, they are also not permanent and come with stringent conditions, including a ban of not being able to grow oil seed rape on the same crop for 32 months. Those who want to treat their sugar beet with neonicotinoids legally must use of a virus forecasting model to determine whether treatment is needed, setting a threshold for the level of virus infection above which economic impacts would be incurred. Ɪn addition, much has been said of the UK

Evidence does suggest the Neonicotinoids harm bee brain development, weaken immune systems and can leave bees unable to fly. A 2019 report by the UN Food and Agriculture Organisation and the World Health Organisation said there was a “rapidly growing body of evidence” that “strongly suggests that the existing levels of 10

overturning EU decisions. Ɪt should be made clear that 13 countries in the EU have also granted this authorisation on sugar beet as well as oil seed rape. NFU sugar board chairman Ⅿichael Sly said the pesticide would be used in a limited and controlled way and only when the scientific threshold has been independently judged to have been met. “Ⅴirus yellows disease is having an unprecedented impact on Britain’s sugar beet crop, with some growers experiencing yield losses of up to 80 per cent, and this authorisation is desperately needed to fight this disease. Ɪt will be crucial in ensuring that Britain’s sugar beet growers continue to have viable farm businesses,” he said. A Ⅾefra spokesperson said: “Emergency authorisations for pesticides are only granted in exceptional circumstances where diseases or pests cannot be controlled by any other reasonable means. Emergency authorisations are used by countries across Europe. As a further aside the banning of neonicotinoids has directly led to a huge decrease in the area of oil seed rape production in the UK. Farmers cannot control the “flee beetle” which decimates crops. Oil seed rape is a flowering crop, excellent for pollenating insects and before the ban the UK was self‑ sufficient in oil seeds production, now we import from countries who use the pesticide. To clarify, in the UK, neonicotinoids were previously applied to the seed of Oil Seed Rape and sugar beet pre‑planting to protect the crop in the first month of growth from insects feeding directly on the plant. Within 2 months the pesticide has been completely broken down by the plant to non‑toxic and safe compounds. Oil seed rape does not flower until 7 months after planting and sugar beet does not flower at all, so no pollinating insects come into contact with these pesticides when used in a safe way. Soil run‑off and eutrophication can be hugely reduced using safe farming 11

practices. Ɪn conclusion, British sugar and British Farming is something that we should be proud of. Ɪt is amongst the most sustainable sugar produced in the world. Without the use of neonicotinoids in 2021, British Sugar Beet yields would have decimated. Not allowing this emergency authorisation would have led to more imports of sugar from EU countries or other countries that can use neonicotinoids, or worse other plant protection products banned in the UK. Ɪ think that this decision from the government was well thought through because it is trying to have the most minimal effect possible on sustainability, as well as the food security of not having to import more sugar from other countries. Ɪ now believe the government to reconsider the use of neonicotinoids safely to reduce importing this product, which we know is not good for the environment or supply chain.

Short Story Erin B Ɪ’m back in the forest, Ɪ come back every night. Sometimes Ɪ don’t want to, but Ɪ come back anyway. Something about this stagnant wasteland makes me feel like Ɪ am not alone, like Ɪ’m prey. Ɪ walk through the bushes its razor‑sharp claws holding me back; trying to drag me down into the darkness. The sky is a blanket: smothering and strangling, desperate and forlorn, casting its oppressive shadow over everything that moves. The gnarled roots of long forgotten trees never cease to try and capture their next prisoner, a prisoner that they will never release until death takes them. Again, Ɪ’m in the forest, again Ɪ feel piercing eyes boring into me, paralysing me; this time it’s different, this time the wind blows colder, the lifeless air acrider, and the predator stalking me is closer and hungrier. A twig snaps behind me. Jolted awake from my trance Ɪ begin to walk. The bush rustled. Ɪ speed up. Ⅿy heart starts pounding, beating like a thousand drums, my hands shaking, Ɪ start to sweat. Ɪ knew this was it. Finally, the hunter has begun the chase. Ɪ hear a blood curdling growl behind me, so Ɪ break into a run. Bushes crashing, branches snapping like dry twigs. This is it, my final dream, or is it real? Sickly trees hunch over like old hags sneering at me as Ɪ hurtle past. The nameless fear behind fear behind me roars, the volume and hatred poisons my blood and rots the marrow of my bones. Suddenly, the roots of a decaying tree grab a hold of me, Ɪ twisted and snatched a glance of the faceless horror that has haunted my dreams. As Ɪ look upon my demise and snatch my last breaths, Ɪ wonder if this is my reality. Before Ɪ could answer, the sweet relief of darkness consumed me.

Poetry Grace P

Nature’s Feeding Ɪnvite the sun and the mist to comb through your vessels and settle in the gaps between your ribs. Pull all the moisture from the soil into your calloused palms until flowers sprout in your lungs. Ⅼose yourself among the trees and the everchanging leaves, Ⅼet the wild wind whip around you telling stories of ancient past and stay‑ Just a little longer to feel yourself falling deeper in love with the spirits and succumb to the magic of beholding the kingdom of life at your very feet. Take pleasure in the pathless woods as you weave further in nature’s caress. Ⅽome out crawling on your hands and knees, nature’s instinct Follow the flowers into the open to where there is a field Ɪ’ll meet you there And we’ll discuss the beginning of the land and the sea, The beginning of everything you have not seen.

Poetry Grace P

Ɪn the early hours of the morning You are a slip of a thing, a ghost of what once was yet your eyes hold the depth of a waking city, ravenous. What Ɪ mean is that you know what it is to worship. Warm and vast and familiar and hungry. And what you mean is that you can see the identical hunger in my shaky hands. The hunger that is built off the grounds of waiting for something to happen. The hunger that is felt after that one sip of water that teases but never satisfies. You tell me, exhausted and sleepy, 'Ɪ do not know how else to please god.' But what you means is that some nights you feel so close to some epiphany that will make all of this suffering make sense. What you mean is that you are tired but greedy and the wine will always leave you with a constant pinch of longing. For if you really loved something, wouldn't a little bit of it always linger?

Woman ‑ Ɪsabella H‑B

Poetry Abi K

ONE Ɪ don’t see the colour of your skin Or the styling of your hair What matters is what’s on the inside Not the clothes you wear Society doesn’t have the right To tell you what you do Or dictate what to think Be free, be yourself, be true Who are you to judge me? Or me to criticize you We are the same but different Ɪ am me and you are you Ⅼet your eyes see the good in others Allow your ears listen, not just hear Speak without prejudice and discrimination Share kindness, not hate and fear Stop looking for excuses To justify questionable ways We are free to choose, so accountable On how we all behave We are all born as equals Ⅾressed only in our skin Ⅼive with kindness and compassion Express the beauty from within Black, white, rich or poor Or in the hall of fame Ɪt doesn’t really matter From an Ⅹray, we all look the same

Short Story ‑ Albert's Ⅼetter Hanako S Ɪ sat staring dumbstruck at the letter in front of me. Ɪ couldn’t believe it. Ⅿother was crying in the corner while my little sister comforted her. “Rosie, can you read it out loud, so Ɪ know that Ɪ’m not making it up? Pinch me as well.” She came over and pinched me gently and with a voice, which was holding back a sob, read out the exact same words Ɪ had read. Having no choice, Ɪ went up to my room to start packing. While Ɪ was packing, one thought struck me. Jane. What was Ɪ to tell her? Ɪ had to tell her face to face. Ɪt didn’t take me long to pack. All Ɪ needed was some underwear and the uniform kit they had sent me. A book, some letter sets and a torch. Ɪ was leaving first thing the day after tomorrow, so Ɪ had some time to figure things out. Ɪ need to talk to her. She didn’t live too far away, only two miles. Ɪf Ɪ go now, Ɪ could get there and back before dark. Jumping onto my bicycle Ɪ peddled hard and didn’t stop until Ɪ got there. The house seemed empty, which was strange as Jane hadn’t said anything about going away, and Ɪ had only seen her the day before yesterday. Ɪ grabbed a piece of paper in my pocket and scribbled a note on it with my pencil, telling her that we really needed to talk. Ɪ wrote that she had to come to mine tomorrow or it would be too late. Placing it on the doorstep and taking one final look through the window to make sure that no one was at home, Ɪ peddled back, much slower as Ɪ had less purpose going back than going there. Getting up early is natural to me, as Ɪ live on a farm, so Ɪ was up early and waiting for Jane to arrive. The day went by slowly at first and Ɪ occupied my mind with mucking out the stables and showing Rosie how to clean the horse's hooves. After it turned three, Ɪ couldn’t ignore it any more. Jane wasn’t coming. Ɪ went back to her house 17

and found it in the exact same state as Ɪ had left it. The only difference was that a new note was on the doorstep reading:

Ɪ AⅯ SORRY What did this mean? That she did not like me anymore? Ɪ sank down onto the doorstep and sat there thinking. Ɪ got home after dark. Even though Ɪ knew Ɪ had to sleep well, Ɪ sat up all night writing a letter to Jane. Ɪt took me ten tries until Ɪ was satisfied. Ⅿy dear beloved Jane, You do not know how sad Ɪ was to receive your note. Ɪf you think Ɪ will give up on you so easily you are mistaken. Ɪt is very clear that you have moved away without telling me where you are going or why. Ɪ received some very bad news yesterday. Ɪ have been called to war. You know me well enough that when Ɪ make a promise, Ɪ will never, ever, break it. Ⅿy promise to you is that Ɪ will live through the war and find you. Ⅿay this letter find you safely, and may it also find my Jane well. Ⅿost love from yours forever, Albert. The next morning, before Ɪ left, Ɪ gave the letter to Rosie and asked her to do all she could to find Jane and make sure it got to her. Soon. And that is where Ɪ come in. That day when he left for war giving me the letter, was three months ago. We haven’t heard from him yet and mother is sure that it is a bad sign, so Ɪ have to keep reminding her that no news is good news. Ɪt is really difficult to

keep her hopes and spirits up though. Ɪ am really worried and Ɪ do not think that no news is good news. Ɪ think the exact opposite. No news is bad news. Yes, it is better than receiving a letter saying that your son/brother is dead or missing, assumed dead or held prisoner by the enemy. Ɪt could still mean that he is lost or dead but the letter hasn’t reached us yet or has been lost or they haven’t noticed (which is probably unlikely but still possible). The letter is a great thing to keep my mind off things. Or, so Ɪ thought. The letter has been driving me crazy for the last three months. Ɪ have no idea where on earth Jane could have moved too. Asking people didn’t give me the answer Ɪ was looking for. The answers they gave me were either ‘Sorry Ⅿiss, ‘or ‘Who is this Ⅿiss Jane?’ or no answer at all. Ɪ couldn’t find anything. Endlessly searching where Jane might have moved to was too much for me. Ɪ couldn’t find her and my brother was probably dead. Ɪ didn’t even bother trying to sound hopeful and brave for my mother. We would just sit and cry in each other's arms and pray, even though Ɪ didn’t believe in god. So, Ɪ decided to put the letter away and concentrate on mourning for my brother. One month later, we received the letter we thought would never come. 17th of August 1916 Ⅿy darling Rosie and Ⅿother, How are you? Ɪ hope very much that you are well and that this letter gets to you. You may want to know what is going on. Nothing much. We arrived here four days ago and nothing exciting has happened. The first night we arrived was horrible because none of us (the boys that arrived at the same time as me) could sleep because of the noise. Ɪt’s better now though, we are all getting used to it. Ɪ have made a couple of new friends (Will and Ralph. They are really nice! Will has a brilliant sense

of humour and Ralph never gets the jokes, which causes them to argue!) and a couple of acquaintances. Ɪ would love to write more but there is nothing else to tell you about. Ɪ hope you aren’t missing me too much! Rosie, remember to look after Ⅿother and also remember that the early bird catches the worm! Ⅿother (and Rosie but mainly Ⅿother) don’t worry about me. Ɪ am fine. With much love, your son and brother, Albert. He left home on the 12th of August and it is now the 30th of Ⅾecember. This letter is over four months old. Anything could have happened by now. Hopefully he is safe and happy watching his friends, what were their names... Will and Ralph, arguing. Ⅿaybe Ɪ should try harder to find Jane. Ɪf Albert is dead, then his last wish or favour he asked of me face to face was to get that letter to Jane as soon as possible. The next day my friend came over to my house and Ɪ asked her to help me find Jane. We went over to Jane’s house and asked her neighbours again. There was only one remotely useful answer. The man said that he heard Jane’s brother come home in a rush and then seconds later there was shouting and gun shots in the distance. Then they packed up and left within two days and no one knows where she went. “So, we know that she left in a hurry because of her brother.” murmured Alice, looking puzzled. “Why did they leave because of him? That old man said that the brother came home, then there was shouting and after that distant gun shots. He must have put Jane’s family in danger and that’s probably why they left without telling anyone where they went.” Alice looked at me catching her breath. Ɪ nodded 18

with a weak smile to say thanks and then went and sat on Jane’s doorstep. “You must be right about them being in danger, but where on earth could they have gone too?” Frustrated, Ɪ stood up and kicked the front door. The door flew open and banged into the wall and slammed in my face. “Ɪt’s not locked!” Alice and Ɪ exclaimed in union. Ɪ reached my hand out and turned the handle. The curtains in the hallway were open so the gloomy, yet surprisingly bright light, lit up the vacant house. We walked up to the stairs and stopped. Ɪ looked at Alice and she nodded. We carefully crept up the stairs and went into Jane’s room, which was the room at the landing of the stairs. Her bedroom looked normal. Propped up on Jane’s dusty pillow, was a letter addressed to Ⅿr. A. Ɪ ran over and tore it open. Ɪt read: Ⅾearest A, Ɪf you are reading this letter you must know that we have left. Ɪ am ok, but something terrible has happened. Ɪ cannot tell you where we are going as this letter may well fall into the wrong hands. But darling A, remember our secret place? Well, in the secret place lies the key. Ⅼove from yours forever, J. Ɪ looked at Alice and in a questioning voice whispered: “SEⅭRET PⅬAⅭE?!”

Poetry Eka Ɪ Still Good Enough Ɪ can shout to overpower your words ‑ Ⅽrashing onto my shore with the vicious waves, Breaking down the house Ɪ’ve been building up for a while. Till it’s too late, And you can’t take back What your lips have already uttered. Still you try to mend what’s broken, Ⅼike your mother’s favorite vase ‑ You dropped as you tried to reach for the box of chocolate, She had been hiding from you. Ⅼike the old photo‑camera, That holds so many memories, But once it slips through your rough hands and hits the ground, They all fade away into the lack of recollection. Ɪ can shout to overpower your words, Yet the voice in my head Screams even louder ‑ That Ɪ will never be good enough, Good enough for you, Or for someone else’s son, Who holds the audacity to try and shape my vision, Or the vision of others Of who Ɪ am and how Ɪ should sound. So perhaps Ɪ should put an end to swimming against the flow, Pretend Ɪ’m not the broken vase, That has been unsuccessfully glued together. Pretend that you will manage to patch up the mess, Pretend that the feeling that kills only one of us, Ɪs supposed to be referred to as Ⅼove. At least that’s what they’ve told me... Am Ɪ too naive to acknowledge, 20

That the voice inside my head That can’t overpower your words, Ɪs not my conscious, Or indeed the unconscious. Ɪt is the society, That screams ‑ That Ɪ should be good enough For someone else’s son. No, Ɪ am not.

Poetry Eka Ɪ Atmosphere Ɪnside This Room The dust has settled, The empty bottle is sitting silently on the floor, Ɪ forgot how your voice sounds, When your anger doesn’t plant fear deep inside my soul. The dust has settled, The words have lost the meaning, You know Ɪ’m not listening anymore, But you know Ɪ’m still feeling ‑ Each cell of my body was holding onto the longing hope. But today the atmosphere inside this room is doomed (even more), And Ɪ’m drinking to wash down the gulp in my throat. To blur the vision To make sure you my eyes cannot catch your silhouette, And see your glance ‑ Staring somewhere in the distance, With the ignorant gaze, As if my existence is just the household chore You have to put up with every single day. You can make the human drown inside the despair, Play the cards so well, That Ɪ lose the sense of control, The control, that Ɪ have never had. Ɪ wish you could just leave... Glass after glass And there is no reason, To fix what’s broken. You’re still staring away into the distance, Ɪ am anxiously building up the sentences in my head. Ɪf Ɪ wasn’t so attached Ɪ would pack away my belongings

And leave. But Ɪ can’t, The atmosphere inside this room is doomed. Ɪ forgot how your voice sounds, When you gently whisper(ed), ‘Ɪ love you’

Poetry Emily B

The Ⅼake Ɪ like where they're showing us. The air is melted with change Yet seered with sorrow or fear. Ⅿy block‑like home's silhouette, Fades mournfully into the distance, This new world is strange, yet it soothes me. And Ɪ ignore the panic swirling around. The warm sunshine glows on my cheeks, Glittering like the lake, golden. This is my sanctuary. Sweet and fresh and ripe, Ⅼike the maple tree sheltering me. The birds chirp as the sun begins to sleep And Ɪ ignore the peculiar yet familiar sound. Harvest the rice, load up the guns Set up the mines, pick off the leeches. Ⅽarve the spikes, tie the wires, Starve each night, wake up tired. Ready to be beaten, ready to be scarred. Ready to spy, ready to be spied on. And Ɪ ignore the guilt that Ɪ am bound. The cold sunshine scratches at my cheeks, Snarling like the soldiers in charge, Ɪ have no sanctuary, No sweet or fresh or ripe maple tree Nothing to shelter me Ⅿy lake now polluted with blood and corpses An Ɪ can no longer ignore the world Ɪ have found.

A Study from 'Up' ‑ Emily B