FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT
Ode to a Selfie – by K. Rudd –
Gazing on my own reflection With loving, naked, pure affection I must have been a touch distracted As the steel on skin impacted ’Cos in an instant, before I knew it I was well and truly skewered Trickling blood, a crimson creek It struck me dumb, I could not speak!
I did it without fear or favour Just so you could sit and savour Some say in exasperation ‘This is too much information!’ But I think those folks are mistaken So take this picture I have taken Of me and my shaving cut Behold, my friends, my bloodied nut!
Yes with the blood upon my cheek I didn’t cry, I did not shriek I tore a tiny piece of Sorbent Thought, ‘Perfect time to take a portrait’ For though I’d cut myself whilst shaving I thought the moment one worth saving I saved it, yes, so I could prove That if I’m cut I bleed, like you
Some may claim that it’s unhealthy For a man to send a selfie To more than a million folks And cause them on their toast to choke Confronted with my bloodied image Haunted by my beaming visage I did it not to cause you fear But to remind you all I’m here
And in that awe-inspiring moment Where I chose to mobile phone it I did not turn to get a bandage But turned it to my own advantage For I’ve had many wounds before In bathrooms and on Caucus floor And with a click the deed was done Soon to be seen by everyone
Mirror, mirror on the wall Who can resist the siren’s call? Of joy and love and pure devotion That comes along with self-promotion The shock was not that I had nicked it But that the wound was self-inflicted So now I’ve shared the razor’s nip That’s all from me – I’ve gotta zip
I took this wounded face of mine And put the image up online Where it got a million hits I tweeted it to all the twits! I shoved it up on Instagram To show the world all that I am (Sure, for some, it would have grated But mystique’s sorely overrated)
stuart@stuartmccullough.com
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Western Port News 6 August 2013
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