PUZZLE ZONE
ACROSS 1. Skewered meat dish 7. Housing loan 8. Should, ... to 10. Purposely overhears 12. Dingier 14. Major Indonesian isle 16. Green gemstone 17. Piercing with spear
20. Full-length 23. Of sound 24. Quivers 25. Proposal
DOWN 1. Raps 2. Dull pain 3. Hand (out) 4. Breeding males 5. Wide (view) 6. Japanese hostess 9. Brindled cat 11. Wood-smoothing sheet
13. Shady tree 15. Titled ladies 16. Lively 18. Food retailer 19. Beetle larvae 21. Antlered animal 22. Remove (hat)
Puzzles supplied by Lovatts Publications Pty Ltd www.lovattspuzzles.com See page 34 for solutions.
THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE... AND OTHER SHORT STORIES
Blueberry Crumble Muffin Rides Again By Stuart McCullough IT’S time - to put ego aside for the greater good. To reunite and let the wellspring of our combined musical genius flow freely once more. To tune the guitars and crank the amps and let the chips as well as musical notes fall where they may. Put simply, it’s time to get the band back together. ‘Why now?’ I hear you ask. Partly it’s because I just saw the Black Eyed Peas perform at the AFL Grand Final and whilst it wasn’t quite a calamity of Meat Loaf proportions, it’s obvious there’s a shortage of quality tunes right now. Also, there are too many good song ideas bubbling to the surface that can no longer be ignored. (Note to reader: I’ve just noticed that I had originally referred to the ‘ALF Grand Final’ as I was typing – this would be a very different event, presumably involving two teams consisting of clones of that bloke from ‘Home and Away’. Strewth!) Blueberry Crumble Muffin is the band I’m in along with my niece, Matilda. A couple of years ago, we churned out a couple of cracking tunes called ‘Karate Party’ and ‘Eat Your Bagel’. It wasn’t exactly Radiohead, but that’s a good thing. At the time, I claimed the exercise was something of an artistic statement; namely one that read: prepare to have your minds blown. The band has a standard line up of drums, bass, guitar and unicorn. We both like unicorns. After something of a hiatus, we’ve decided to get our group back together again. My niece is twelve. Come to think of it, I joined my first band when I
was twelve. I played synthesizers for a married couple from church that played Larry Norman and Randy Stonehill covers. I remember worrying a lot about what I’d wear on stage. Actually, come to think of it, it wasn’t a stage as such; more just a corner of the youth hall. At the time
I had a yellow short-sleeved shirt with black crosshatch markings that I considered my best shirt and which I wore to all our gigs. I looked like an electric banana. It’s possible that I sounded like one too. I’m not sure the band even had a name. Like vigilantes; we came,
we rocked and we cleaned up after ourselves. It was a great experience in that it completely demystified the music making process. It didn’t need to be all that difficult. A drum kit, guitar, keyboards and a couple of songs to hang it all on and you’re away. It was a lesson I took to heart for my next band. Being in a band and team sports have a lot in common. By that, I mean that it’s where you learn to work cooperatively with other people for a greater good. Whereas the first band I joined had no name, the next had two – we were known as ‘20/20 Vision’ before changing our name to ‘The Pilchards’. This was the band that accounted for my teenage years. When you first start a band, getting through a song from start to finish seems like a massive achievement. Given enough time, though, you become a cohesive unit. Your strengths become stronger and your weaknesses don’t matter so much. You learn to create together. You aspire if not to greatness then advanced competency. I can’t imagine what being a teenager would have been like without that band. There was another band at Uni. In fact, we went so far as to live in a share house together. It was a far more serious effort and we even made a little EP (that’s ‘extended play’ for the uninitiated), which we sold at gigs before capitulating and giving away to anyone who knocked on the front door. That was the last band I was in. Until, of course, Blueberry Crumble Muffin came along. Huge melodies and hummable
choruses are the trademark features of the classic BCM sound. I had been visiting Matilda’s house, when she emerged in the late afternoon still dressed in her pajamas - a Pikachu onesie. Clearly, she had no intention of getting dressed. It reminded me of school holidays when getting dressed was unnecessary waste of time and spending the entire day in a dressing gown was common. The song ‘Pajama Day’ was the result. The chorus is pretty simple: ‘Pajama day, pajama day. I am not getting dressed, no way’. It also includes the line: ‘I’m gonna have some funsie. Spending all day in my onesie’. Since getting the group back together, there have been other song ideas. One comes from my nephew (and Matilda’s cousin) Tyler and will be called ‘I’m Gonna Make You Smell My Stinky Feet’. We’re also working on a song that, I feel, is largely self explanatory, entitled: ‘Unicorns Are Awesome’. I have no doubt that these will be our best songs yet. There’s something great about collaboration. It’s a chance to share goals and create something with other people. Granted, most bands go pearshaped but, while they last, they can be glorious. Being in bands taught me a lot about resilience (there’s no harsher judge of your songwriting efforts than your fellow band mates) and how to work together with other people. I’m heading back to the studio – there’s a Blueberry Crumble Muffin classic-in-waiting that’s demanding my attention. stuart@stuartmccullough.com
Western Port News
24 October 2018
PAGE 31