LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Wellesley welcomes short letters (a maximum length of 300 words) relating to articles or items that have appeared in recent issues of the magazine. Send your remarks to the Editor, Wellesley magazine, 106 Central St., Wellesley, MA 02481-8203, or e-mail comments to magazine@alum.wellesley.edu.
What a thrill it was to read “A Passion for Dance” in the spring ’11 issue. An avid ballet dancer in high school, I rediscovered dance— ballroom and Latin—about 13 years ago and now recognize it as the metaphor for life. How wonderful that it’s an activity available to Wellesley students. Here’s what dance will teach you, my young Wellesley sisters, if it hasn’t already: •
Your strengths and weaknesses on the dance floor are also your strengths and weaknesses as a human being. (Have a tendency to lead when it’s someone else’s turn? Need to work on that.)
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Strengthening connection with your dance partner—and with other signifi ficant people in your life—is a worthwhile investment of your time and energy.
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It’s important to be kind to the person you’re dancing with, no matter how much you enjoy his company or skill level; dancing affords ff as much opportunity to practice social graces as it does to master patterns and technique. Dance will get you through life’s rough spots, whether a challenging semester or a grueling divorce.
RICHARD HOWARD
THE DANCE OF LIFE
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All the world’s a stage, and the competition floor is where you pull it all together to showcase your hours of preparation and attention to how you present yourself. (Sorry, there are times when appearance counts. It just does.)
You know that place where your mind goes to when you dance? Th That place where you can’t think about the past or future because you have to live in the moment, in the beat of music? You need your mind to go there; take it there as often as possible. Take lessons from the best teachers you can aff fford, much as you’ve sought the best college education available. Kiki Knapp Michelli ’84 Alexandria, Va. ON STAY-AT-HOME MOMS
I applaud Sarah Milledge Nelson’s (’53) receipt of the Alumnae Achievement Award (“Bringing Gender to Archaeology,” spring ’11). She is clearly an admirable woman who has made valuable contributions to the world and to her own family. However, the comment from her Wellesley mentor that she was
“wasting [her] talents” on her three young children reminds me again that, at Wellesley, the one life choice it’s fine to denigrate is full-time mothering. I understand that this comment was included within the context of Ms. Nelson’s life story, but it echoes attitudes I have long found troubling at Wellesley. Th The idea that we waste our talents (and by insinuation our education) by committing to be full-time moms is as insulting as any other limiting judgment imposed by society on an individual. Who is to say what is valuable intellectual endeavor and what is a waste of talent? I firmly believe that “a hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove. But the world may be diff fferent because I was important in the life of a child” (Forest Witcraft). As a homeschooling mom of three, I long for the day I can peruse my Wellesley magazine in full confidence fi that my choices too are supported and respected by my Wellesley sisters. However, as long as this disdainful attitude goes unchallenged, that day will never come. I guess it’s a good thing I’ve learned to think for myself! Heather Farrell Bernard ’87 Staunton, Va. GAINING PERSPECTIVE
I was interested in the article in the winter ’11 issue, “When Life Doesn’t Measure Up,” by Karen Grigsby Bates ’73. I’d like to suggest that we develop a more nuanced perspective on both success and failure. Success is a relative term, not only
CONTRIBUTORS Anna Sherman ’92 (“Leaving,” p. 36) is a former editor and journalist for Financial Times Energy. A resident of Tokyo, she experienced the rippling earth during the recent quake.
For two decades, Anisa Mehdi ’78 (“Eye on the Uprisings,” p. 28) has reported, written, directed, and produced television news and documentary programs for media outlets such as National Geographic, PBS, ABC News, and CBS. Her work includes Muslims for Frontline and Inside Mecca for National Geographic.
Wellesley magazine is available online at www.wellesley.edu/magazine. Follow Wellesley on Twitter: @Wellesleymag.
an impressive letterhead, or an article on page 1 of the New York Times. I expect that even the Hillarys and Madeleines of the world have had moments when success felt hollow and meaningless; yet the woman in the article whose life spells a kind of success that many of us can only hope for, but who feels diminished whenever she reads the magazine, is diminishing not only herself, but the concept of true success. And failure is not simply the opposite of success. I would rather talk of struggles, challenges, and the hundred ways we find to meet them, that failure may be only a marker on the way to success. It may be true that young graduates feel the push to emulate the best, and (falsely) consider it a failure to come up short of the marker. But I hope and believe that as we age and absorb the many accrued life lessons that we also develop ways to view the variety of our lives in true perspective. Harriet Wald Schley ’47 Chestnut Hill, Mass. REACHING FOR SATISFACTION
The winter ’11 cover story “When Life Doesn’t Measure Up” couldn’t have arrived at a better time. Four years after graduating from Wellesley, I am a newly minted M.D. and feel like a failure. In medical school, I’ve failed to maintain any steady romantic relationship, other than a misbegotten series of “friends with benefits.” fi Worse, I’ve failed to obtain a desired “match” for residency—landing on the 7th choice on my rank list. Facing another four years of snowy purgatory in the Midwest, I wonder why I’ve merely managed to survive after Wellesley, much less thrive and grow into the successful young professional I had envisioned. Were my expectations unreasonable, or was I too limited to achieve them? Belonging to a community of such strong women is inspiring, but membership in this club encourages a hefty dose of self-pity and punishment, as well. (Continued on page 80)
summer 2011
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