Work - Sisterhood in work and life

Sisterhood in work and life

BY AMALIA CHILIANIS

Work and life are inextricably linked and so in this article I expand my focus on both work and life and how the sisterhood is so important in both. I share a little more personally with you in the hope that it is illustrative, helpful and supportive in some way.

One of the definitions of sisterhood in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is “the solidarity of women based on shared conditions, experiences or concerns.” As women beyond forty there is no doubt we have many shared experiences and concerns even if our conditions are vastly different. In work and in life we want to make a meaningful and satisfying contribution and we want to feel heard, valued and supported.

Unfortunately, in many people’s experience their work lacks meaning and satisfaction and we’re often not heard, valued or supported. This is where the sisterhood demonstrates its power and worth. In my last corporate role, I was a General Manager with a small team in a relatively small but important organisation. The people were all very committed to the purpose of the organisation which provided an essential service for many Australians. However,

working with the Executive team was a very different experience and unique, not always in a good

way. I had recently moved to regional Victoria when I took on the job. My partner was not working so, in theory, I could commute and not worry about child care responsibilities for my two beautiful daughters. Not worrying about my children is probably not in my DNA. Despite the promise of my new employer understanding my situation, there was a lack of flexibility, many last-minute demands made of me just as I was about to run for the train home and a demonstrated lack of trust whenever I was not in the office. These conditions were challenging for any working mum, but I found them incredibly stressful and would often find myself with silent tears rolling down my face as the train would pull into the station on my morning commute.

I decided to share openly with my manager my personal situation at home in the hope that it would help and improve my experience. We went to lunch (pre-Covid) to a small Japanese restaurant and I shared with her that my partner had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and mental health challenges. This meant that I felt I needed to be home in time for dinner and to be around more for everyone’s wellbeing. At the time she showed sympathy and an offer of support but while the intention was heartfelt and sincere, it didn’t result in a change to any of the conditions or work environment.

“For some reason I have better luck when I work with women. I guess I have a good sense of sisterhood.”

Dolly Parton

Photo by: @domenicoloia Unsplash | Domenico Loia

On reflection, I think I felt even more let down because my manager and the CEO were both women. And while I didn’t feel as strongly as Madeline Albright when she said “There is a special place in hell for other women who don’t help other women”, I certainly felt very angry, sad and disappointed.

Research indicates you only need one friend in the workplace to not feel lonely and luckily for me I had more than one. However, there is one woman who I became friends with in this workplace who remains one of my besties and has continued to love and support me through many more highs and lows since this time. While the work experience was one of many challenges, the sole fact that it brought her and I together means that if I had the chance to not experience what was a pretty awful workplace and experience, I would never choose to give it up. The sister that I gained and the extended sisterhood of other women there, far outweighs the challenging experience. And these women continue to support me well after the memory of the role fades.

If you find your work lacks meaning and satisfaction and you’re often not heard, valued or supported in work and in life, then safely rely on the sisterhood. Find that one sister to help you navigate your challenges and be open to the extended sisterhood who will also support and encourage you and who understands your experience, conditions and concerns. You’re now part of the WB40 sisterhood, so call on us for support or just to be heard.

About the Writer

Amalia Chilianis is a coach with over 25 years of corporate experience. She is a courageous leader and an encourager of others who is determined that the next 20 years of work and life will be different to the last. Her book Work-a-holistic, A practical guide to changing your career is available now on Amazon and other online retailers. Visit her website for the links and more information. www.amaliachilianis.com

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