mind’s eye
Immortal Jellyfish By Carter Haaland Good ol’ Benjamin Franklin once said, “The only things certain in life are death and taxes.” Modern technology has yet to defy this statement but a minuscule little jellyfish may be proving Mr. Franklin wrong—dead wrong. The Turritopsis nutricula has come to be known as the immortal jellyfish. This little hydrozoan has the ability to revert back to its polyp form after becoming sexually mature, essentially restarting its life cycle. It is able to do this through the cell development process called transdifferentiation, which alters the differentiated state of cells and transforms them into completely different, new cells. Scientific studies have confirmed the specimen’s ability to restart its life and also found no limitations on the amount of times the jellyfish is able to do this, rendering the creature theoretically immortal. Although under perfect conditions this Samson-esque creature could potentially live on and on and on, most Turritopsis nutricula eventually fall victim to the standard hazards of ocean dwelling, such as being eaten by predators or disease. When a Turritopsis nutricula has passed its embryonic stage and is released from its mother, it eventually settles on a sta-
tionary object such as a rock. At this stage, it is transformed into a polyp and begins to grow multiple, identical polyps until it forms a colony. The colony of polyps then begins to grow many horizontal grooves. The grooves eventually mature and break free from the colony as free-swimming jellyfish. Once a jellyfish has reproduced, it starts the process over. The umbrella reverts itself, the tentacles get reabsorbed, and a new colony of polyps begin to take shape. It’s like getting married, having kids, and then going back to college to find a new mate to have babies with. The jellyfish is believed to have originated in the Caribbean but has now spread throughout most of the world’s tropical oceans. It’s a tiny bell-shaped creature with a maximum diameter of 4.5 millimeters and is typically as tall as it is wide. Young specimens have eight tentacles that are evenly spaced out around its edges and adult specimens have as many as 90 tentacles. Don’t go burning your wills just yet, as it seems Franklin’s assertion will still be applicable to humans for the time being. None of the work done by marine biologists and geneticists has found any sort of way to bring the cell recreation ability
Wii Dildo Attachment Starts New Wave of Long-Distance Relationships By Maggie Foucault Until recently, the Nintendo Wii video game system was the newest technological addition to the American nuclear family. Children, parents, and even grandparents would gather around the sleek system to watch their relatives flap like a bird in order to guide a computerized, chickensuited avatar to a goal, swivel their hips to move virtual hula hoops, and jerk their bodies to steer cars. Now, thanks to Germany (of course), the Wii has graduated from the familial state of pre-adolescence and moved straight into adulthood. Scientists at Bauhaus-University Weimar in Germany have developed, according to their website, the “first body-massaging device, that can use motion for stimulation,” or a dildo attachment for the Wii. Known as OIOO, the Wii dildo is a device with capabilities far beyond what can be seen by the naked eye. No more will society be subjected to movies lamenting the horrors of the longdistance relationship (I’m looking at you, Justin Long). No more will lonely nerds have only their right (or left) hand to
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of the Turritopsis nutricula to the human race. Sadly, our understanding of this rare and bizarre creature will not yet allow us to cheat death.
Scientific studies have confirmed the specimen’s ability restart its life and also found no limitations on the amount of times the jellyfish is able to do this, rendering the creature theoretically immortal. The process by which the jellyfish transforms its cells and “starts over” has not been observed in nature nor have we developed a way to distinguish a newly spawned polyp from a jellyfish that has recently reverted back to polyp form. The process is so thorough and so instantaneous that it prohibits us from being able to estimate the age of a jellyfish that has perhaps lived many lives.
Steph Mertes
keep them company. No longer will tech-savvy lovers be at a loss when cyber sex loses its appeal. The OIOO has broken the last barrier to a truly global society; using Skype, the OIOO can recognize the motions one user is making with their dildo-equipped device and replicate the vibrations on a different user’s wiimote on the other side of the world.
No more will lonely nerds have only their right (or left) hand to keep them company. OIOO is not the only wiibrator on the market; a company called Mojowijo has a similar device that is currently in the beta-testing phase. Mojowijo promises on its website that the wiibrator will be ready by the 2010 holiday season. Both devices have similar designs: a long, cylindrical attachment for one remote, and a similar attachment for the other remote with a conveniently placed hole in the end, designed for the male par-
ticipant. The Mojowijo is gaining a surprising mass-market popularity and was featured in widely circulating magazines such as Wired, San Francisco Weekly, and French Elle. The possibilities arising from the development of such a product are endless. Repurposing wiimotes for sex is only the beginning; cell phones, laptops, even normal vibrators could all be repurposed or redesigned for erotic stimulation. Programs like iTunes could be integrated so as to change songs as the tempo of the vibrations increase or decrease; pay-shows via web camera could use the remotes to add a physical aspect. The use of a wiimote for sexual stimulation is really not so surprising. As technology has developed, so has pornography. What do you think the first camera with a focusable lens was used for? Film cameras? How about the vibrate setting on your Blackberry, in a pinch? Even in ancient times, after paper was invented it was quickly used for the dissemination of pornography. If one thing is true about the human race, it is that any new technology can be sexualized.