Close Your Eyes

I’ve been having a temper tantrum lately. I haven’t been able to get my way. The harder I try, the more frustrated I become. When I quiet my mind to sit in meditation, I can feel the trembling of my nervous system, shaking like a rabbit that has just escaped its predator. Yet, I am the predator. Like they say in the Eagle’s song Already Gone: “So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key.”

I cannot tell you how many times I have said in a Guided Meditation, or to one of my Meditation Therapy clients, “What we resist, persists.”

I know this, and it’s not like I hadn’t thought about it all these months of struggle, yet I haven’t been able to find that ever-elusive key the Eagles speak of.

I meditate to tune into God’s guidance for my life. In 2011, God clearly told me to teach mindfulness to children. I didn’t even know what mindfulness was.

~Mindfulness is present moment awareness, a skill that is sharpened by having a meditation practice.~

It ended up being the biggest blessing of my life for more reasons than I can include in this article, but suffice it to say my meditation and mindfulness practices have helped with every challenge in my life since my practice started, which is why I include a “Dear Miss Mindfulness” column in our newsletter each month.

Yet, lately, I’ve been stomping my feet when things don’t go my way…

I wrote the above excerpt in February of this year. Looking back now, I realize God doesn’t promise an easy journey, but it is easier when we let go of our attachments to how we think things should go.

In today’s new age reality, yogis and gurus—a group I am often placed in—espouse the wisdom that we attract and even create our reality. My understanding of human behavior, including subconscious programming and neuroscience, substantiates this belief, yet why would I nail myself to a cross?

In February, I thought, “I’ve endeared myself to a false narrative, to believe I’m attracting and creating my circumstances.” I no longer wanted to take responsibility for my circumstances and the creation of the circumstances. I fought long and hard to drop any semblance of being a victim, yet I wanted to recline in that easy chair of victim hood again.

But it’s not a false narrative.

My resistance was creating a dam, blocking the flow for my life. I thought I was keeping a commitment to myself but really I was being stubborn. I needed to change lanes.

When I first started learning yoga, I was intently focused on matching the poses of my instructor. In those early days of my yoga practice, the instructors more often than not would guide the participants' bodies into the right position, including making hands-on adjustments. As time went on, I noticed less and less of this specific instruction. Instead, the instructors encourage us to “listen” to our bodies, while challenging ourselves to move beyond what’s comfortable yet to be careful to not push too far and hurt ourselves.

Close your eyes, they would say.

Close my eyes? How will I know what a Svarga Dvidasana: (Bird of Paradise Pose) is. It didn’t matter. I learned it’s more important to do what my body needs than to contort myself into a version of someone else.

After all, I’d been doing that all my life, being who people need me to be. Certainly, over the years it had become less and less of a heavy cloak I wore, as if I was peeling off the layers one season at a time.

Well now it’s the season for the full reveal. As I took off the last garment and stepped into a new role working for this magazine, I’ve found a place where who I am is completely welcome and in fact, encouraged.

The old wardrobe is no longer needed. It’s time to adorn myself in the playful attire that I wrote about in this issue in the article titled “Understand the Brand: A Family Stitching Purpose Into Fashion”.

God’s winking too, with one serendipitous occurrence after another.

I dare you to try it. Close your eyes. Tune into your body to hear its whisper before it becomes a shout. It’s the key.

Trice is a Meditation Therapist, certified in Mindfulness Meditation and the Neuroscience of Meditation. Email her at Trice@presencetopupils.com for a free 20-minute consultation. Www. presencetopupils.com.