Creating a Culture of Empathy ~ One Book, One Reader, One Heart at a Time

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by Elly Swartz

Elly Swartz loves writing for kids, Twizzlers, and anything with her family. She grew up in Yardley, Pennsylvania, studied psychology at Boston University, and received a law degree from Georgetown University Law Center. Elly is the author of four contemporary middle grade novels. Her debut novel, Finding Perfect (FSG 2016) is about 12-year-old Molly, OCD, and a slam poetry competition that will determine everything. In her second book, Smart Cookie (Scholastic, 2018), you meet the spunky and big-hearted Frankie who is all about family with a dash of mischief and mystery! Then in October 2019, we said hello to Maggie in Give and Take (FSG). With the help of a foster baby named Izzie and Bert the turtle, Maggie learns that sometimes love means letting go. And in the spring of 2022, we’ll get to know Autumn in Dear Student (Delacorte/Penguin Random House). Autumn is a girl with social anxiety and a pet guinea pig named Cheetos, who becomes the secret voice of the advice column in her middle school newspaper. You can find Elly at ellyswartz.com, on Twitter @ellyswartz, on Instagram @ellyswartzbooks, or on her webseries #BooksintheKitchen with author Victoria J. Coe.

he leaned in so close that I could smell the grape gum on her breath. Her body shook as S the tears rolled down her cheeks. “You changed my life,” she whispered. Then she hugged me.

My heart melted.

I’d just spent the last forty-five minutes talking to 200 fifth graders about bravery. And how I saw courage and strength in each one of them, even if they didn’t.

My new 5th-grade friend told me that she had heaps of anxiety. Just like Molly in Finding Perfect. She said she did weird things, like Molly. Was scared, like Molly. Didn’t tell anyone, like Molly. And felt very alone. Until she met Molly on the page. Then she reached out to her mom. And now my new young friend is seeing a doctor and getting treatment for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). She said it’s helping.

Books Matter

I always knew it, but never felt it in the placethat tugs at my heart until Finding Perfect, my debut book, met its readers. Then my heart exploded with each letter, whispered confession, tearful exchange, and hug. Readers confided that they connected with Molly’s OCD, Frankie’s grief, and Maggie’s anxiety. And these readers shared. With me. Someone they had just met; and, in some instances, had never met.

Why were these new friends so willing to share their vulnerabilities with me? How had I earned their trust and confidences?

I thought about this for a long time.

Then I realized it was the stories I wrote. These readers connected to the characters, their journeys, and through them they connected with me.

My heart melted again. What a huge privilege and immense honor to be trusted by my readers to hold their confidences, respect their vulnerabilities, and see and value each one of them. Always.

I want every child to feel that connection. I want every child to see themselves on the page. In a world divided, we need to do our part to build bridges and bring people together; to bring kids together. We need to teach empathy like we teach math, reading, history, and science. We need to give our kids the skills to unite, the tools to be compassionate and kind, and the strength to find what connects us. That is where we begin.

We need to create a culture of empathy. A community where all kids are seen, empowered, and respected. Where their voice is heard and amplified, and where their minds and hearts are open to the things they believe and the things they question.

But how?

Books and teachers and librarians and readers. Together.

In A Letter to Readers at the start of Being the Change, author Sara K. Ahmed says, “we can shift from statistics to stories in the spirit of a more inclusive world. Because if we are listening closely, if we are being compassionate observers of the world, the stories implore us to examine and question and reflect on our own identities— whether we know it or not.” If you don’t have this book, get it. It’s a wonderful and powerful way to connect.

And for every story in every book there’s a child who needs it. And for every child, there’s a devoted educator who finds that reader and gives them that book. Countless times I have been discussing a book with a teacher or librarian when they say, “I know just the student I’m going to give this to.” This is such a gift.

“Books are empathy conduits, and when we put them in the right kids’ hands at the right time, we help create adults who treat each other with kindness and respect.” Jennifer LaGarde, teacher, life-long learner, award-winning librarian, and author of Fact vs. Fiction: Teaching Critical Thinking Skills In the Age of Fake News with Darren Hudgins, shared this with me. And, Jennifer’s right. We’re at our best when we come together—authors, readers, educators—to open minds and hearts, to create a world where we all feel respected and kindness matters, and to change lives, one reader at a time.

Books Start Conversations

Books give kids the courage to talk, learn about, and understand things that may feel are difficult to discuss. They give kids the words they’re missing. Readers don’t always know what’s happening to them. They don’t know how to describe what they don’t understand until they see themselves on the page. Then they find the courage to talk.

Recently, I asked Donalyn Miller, awardwinning teacher, staff development leader, and author of The Book Whisperer and Game Changer (with Colby Sharp), about books and empathy and the children we all love. She shared, “Reading

opens up the world for children. Books provide a powerful opportunity to learn about the lived experiences of people all over the world and through time. Reading fosters social intelligence.” (Dodell-Feder & Tamir, 2018). Yes!

Reading enables conversations about topics that may otherwise feel uncomfortable or even impenetrable. Conversations about mental illness, homelessness, loss, racism, foster care, violence, anger, drugs, sexual assault. Books can be the foundation for these difficult conversations. Books like The Bridge Home by Padma Venkatraman, The 7th Wish by Kate Messner, Ghost Boys by Jewel Parker Rhodes, Maybe He Just Likes You by Barbara Dee, All of Me by Chris Baron, Shouting at the Rain by Lynda Mullaly Hunt, Piecing Me Together by Renée Watson, Rain Reign by Ann M. Martin, The Dollar Kids by Jennifer Jacobson, Long Way Down, by Jason Reynolds, The Someday Birds by Sally J. Pla, Finding Perfect and Give and Take by me, and Wonder by R.J. Palacio.

Books Connect

Books let kids know they’re not alone, even when they feel disenfranchised and disconnected.

At a recent school visit, a reader told me that she loved Maggie, the main character in Give and Take, and then looked around to make sure her classmates weren’t nearby. In a very low voice she shared that she didn’t really have any friends, but loved reading.

My heart shattered. I hugged her and told her she was special. I told her she’d find her herd, just like Frankie did in Smart Cookie. She smiled. I told her she mattered.

Books can be a child’s friend. Sometimes their only friend.

Rudine Sims Bishop, Professor Emerita of Education at Ohio State University and author, said, “Books are sometimes windows, offering views of worlds that may be real or imagined, familiar or strange. These windows are also sliding glass doors, and readers have only to walk through in imagination to become part of whatever world has been created or recreated by the author. When lighting conditions are just right, however, a window can also be a mirror. Literature transforms human experience and reflects it back to us, and in that reflection, we can see our own lives and experiences as part of a larger human experience. Reading, then, becomes a means of selfaffirmation, and readers often seek their mirrors in books.”

Rudine is so right! When we see ourselves and learn about others, we can begin to break down the stigmas and stereotypes that perpetuate from that place of misunderstanding and ignorance. We can educate and teach. We can grow.

To create a culture of empathy kids need to see and accept themselves and others for who they are. They need to recognize that sometimes the person they present to the world, the one others see—the shiny penny version that is in manicured selfies and curated videos on Tik Tok—does not align with how they feel inside. Sometimes we all tuck parts of ourselves away. We might share those pieces

with a best friend or our family, or no one. Maybe those pieces are just for us. And that’s okay. We’re all a blend of the traits we share and those we don’t. We just need to recognize and acknowledge and embrace that no one is just one thing. We’re never simply the shiny penny version of ourselves, or just our insecurities and failures. To accept others, we must first embrace all of ourselves, the inside and the outside; the shiny penny and the tarnished copper.

I believe this acceptance of ourselves and others comes from the strength and courage that lives deep in our hearts. When we see that we’re a blend of traits, then maybe we can also see that the person we think we have nothing in common, the one whose life is perfect or whose life isn’t, is also a blend. And in that recognition, we can realize that we’re more alike than we are different. We can connect and empathize. We can show kindness and compassion, gratitude, and forgiveness.

In Finding Perfect (p. 287), when Molly accepts all of herself, when she realizes there’s no such thing as perfect, when she discovers that she’s more than just her OCD, this is what she writes:

Beyond the darkness There is light Beyond the fear There is hope Beyond perfection There is me Imperfect and beautiful Me Imperfection Is Beautiful!

Being empathetic in our hearts and minds, is a step. But we need more. As Chad Everett— educator, self-proclaimed literacy and technology geek, cofounder of #MSedchat—says, “The end of empathy is not feelings or emotion –it’s action.” Let’s put our good intentions to work. Let’s empower our students to lead. To understand To see To listen To be kind To be compassionate To be gracious To connect To empathize To act

We are at our best when we see, appreciate, grow, respect, and learn from the layers in ourselves and in others.

So together, let’s act, and let’s create a culture of empathy.

One book, one reader, one heart, at a time.

Activities to Promote Empathy in Your School

Try the Unfolding Identity Project with teachers, students, and friends as a way of seeing and accepting our layers and ourselves. Become an Empathy Ambassador: Join the empathy Flipgrid to share what’s working in your community and learn what’s working in others. https://flipgrid.com/empathyambassa dors Create your own school Flipgrid on empathy. Ask students to answer this question: What are you doing to promote kindness?

Create a Community Empathy Board: Have kids write their acts of kindness on notecards and tack them to a community board. Each grade or class can have their unique color notecards. Together you can create a rainbow of kindness and empathy. Get Involved in Something Bigger: In 2006, then Senator Barack Obama said in Northwestern Commencement Speech, “It’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential – and become full-grown.” This is a call to action. A call to think beyond the walls of your library and your school. To teach your students to reach beyond their home/ street/neighborhood. How can they help? How can we teach them? Read Aloud: Join the #ClassroomBookADay movement, started by Jillian Heise, library media teacher, advocate for student choice, and Chair of the WSRA Children’s Literature Committee. I reached out to educators online for the picture books they felt best promoted empathy and encouraged discussion. They graciously shared. The lists below are some of my favorites, along with some of theirs.

Some Books that Promote Empathy:

Picture Books: https://ellyswartz.com/wp-con tent/uploads/2020/09/SEL-Picture-Books. pdf Middle Grade: https://ellyswartz.com/wpcontent/uploads/2020/09/SEL-Middle-GradeBooklist.pdf Young Adult: https://ellyswartz.com/wpcontent/uploads/2020/09/SEL-YA-booklist.pdf

We Need Diverse Books: A non-profit and a grassroots organization of children’s book lovers that advocates essential changes in the publishing industry to produce and promote literature that reflects and honors the lives of all young people. WNDB is an incredible resource. Please check it out as you fill your bookshelves. https://diverse books.org/ Child Mind Institute: The Child Mind Institute is an independent, national nonprofit dedicated to transforming the lives of children and families struggling with mental health and learning disorders. One aspect of this incredible resource that I have found so impactful for young people is their #myyoungerself campaign. In that campaign celebrities, singers, artists, politicians, and business people who have mental health challenges share advice via video to their younger self. Truly powerful and moving. https://childmind.org/ myyoungerself/ A Novel Mind: A resource to discover quality children's literature addressing neurodiversity and mental health issues. https:// www.anovelmind.com/ Changing Perspective: A nonprofit organization that provides “schools and other organizations with disability awareness programming through a combination of curriculum materials, consultations and professional development training.” https:// changingperspectivesnow.org/

Disability in Kidlit: Disability in Kidlit is dedicated to discussing the portrayal of disability in middle grade and young adult literature. They publish articles, reviews, interviews, and discussions examining this topic from various angles— and always from the disabled perspective. http://disabilityinkidlit.com/ Jesse Lewis Choose Love Curriculum: A nonprofit organization with a mission to create safer schools through a no-cost, lifespan social and emotional platform that not only teaches students the life skills that are essential to happiness and success, but also fosters a school culture that reduces violence from the inside out . . . Scarlett Lewis founded the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement shortly after her six-year-old son, Jesse Lewis, was murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Connecticut in December 2012, alongside 19 of his first-grade classmates and six educators in one of the worst mass shootings in U.S. history. Scarlett found out after the tragedy that Jesse used his final moments to heroically save nine of his friends. https://www.jesselewischoose love.org/ Empathy Lab: Empathy Lab is the first organization to build children’s empathy, literacy and social activism through a systematic use of high quality literature. Our strategy builds on new scientific evidence showing that an immersion in quality literature is an effective way to build our empathetic understanding of others. https://www. empathylab.uk/

References

Bishop, R. S. (1990). Presenting Walter Dean Myers (No. 565). Twayne Pub. Bishop, R.S. (1990). Mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors. Perspectives, 6(3), ix–xi. Bishop, R. S. (1994). Kaleidoscope: A Multicultural Booklist for Grades K-8. NCTE Bibliography Series. National Council of Teachers of English. Burnett, J. (2000). Wonders: The Best Children's Poems of Effie Lee Newsome. Childhood Education, 76(4), 244. Dodell-Feder, D., & Tamir, D. I. (2018). Fiction reading has a small positive impact on social cognition: A meta-analysis. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 147(11), 1713. LaGarde, J. & Hudgins, D. (2018). Fact vs. fiction: Teaching critical thinking skills in the age of fake news. International Society for Technology in Education. Miller, D. (2010). The book whisperer: Awakening the inner reader in every child. John Wiley & Sons.

Miller, D., & Sharp, C. (2018). Game Changer!: Book Access for All Kids. Scholastic Incorporated. Obama, B. (2006, July). Our Past, Our Future & Vision for America. Campus Progress Annual Conference Complete Text. Sims, R. (1982). Shadow and Substance: Afro-American Experience in Contemporary Children's Fiction. National Council of Teachers of English.

Children’s Literature

Baron, C. (2019). All of me. Feiwel & Friends Dee, B. (2020). Maybe he just likes you. Aladdin.

Hunt, L.M. (2020). Shouting at the rain. Puffin Books. Jacobson, J. & Andrews, R. (2020). The dollar kids. Candlewick Press. Martin, A.M. (2014). Rain reign. Feiwel & Friends Messner, K. (2016). The seventh wish. Bloomsbury Children’s Books. Palacio, R.J. (2012). Wonder. Knopf Books for Young Readers. Pla, S. J. (2018). The someday birds. (J. McLaughlin,

Illus.). HarperCollins Children’s Books. Reynolds, J. (2019). Long way down. Simon &

Schuster. Rhodes, J.P. (2019). Ghost boys. Little, Brown, &

Company. Swartz, E. (2016). Finding perfect. Farrar Straus

Giroux Books for Young Readers. Swartz, E. (2019). Give and take. Farrar Straus

Giroux Books for Young Readers. Venkatram, P. (2019). The bridge home. Penguin

Random House. Watson, R. (2018). Piecing me together. Bloomsbury

Publishing.

Empowering educators and students in Massachusetts through evidence-based early literacy

Being able to read, write, and speak are essential for full participation in our society. Literacy affords access to ideas, opportunities, and so much more. But in the Massachusetts school system today, many children do not receive the instruction and support they need to develop a strong foundation for literacy in grades preK-3. Mass Literacy is a statewide effort to empower educators with the evidence-based practices for literacy that all students need. Evidence-based instruction, provided within schools and classrooms that are culturally responsive and sustaining, will put our youngest students on a path toward literacy for life. Click the links below to learn more about evidence-based practices and resources that are ready for use in preK-3 classrooms. https://www.doe.mass.edu/massliteracy/