2ndReminder Just So You Never Forget BY:
Vincent Wyatt
PREFACE I told you I’d be back. This time is much different, Ok not really. How about we just call it an extension? Life is still happening out there and I will bet, you are still forgetting how golden you are, huh? There are still parts of you that are flawed and they aren’t fixed because you haven’t all the way accepted it yet, isn’t it? Ok no, I’m not psychic, so don’t assume just because I know what’s going on with you. I only know because you’re human and so am I. So here we are again.
I’ve come back with more encouragement, plans, challenges, stories, and an overall really great read for you to carry with you for years to come. What prompts me to write these books? My personal experiences play a huge part. Mixed in with my lack of desire to get on a social media outlet and use however many characters they offer at the time to explain my every move and feelings. Then in turn receive comments from people that don’t really care about me, they just want something to talk about, or they’ll like my posts and then I’ll get the validation I really don’t care to receive for I am comfortable within myself. Everything I have gone through since the last book, I have said to myself “Man I know I’m not the only one…” so I’m writing another book to help you and I myself, actually. Through this book I plan to reassure you of your self worth, get you to work hard and life all while enjoying it. I don’t want you to forget anything that’s good about life and that to obtain good things in life you will never be able to escape the bad. In a world where its emotions are so cold, ethics are tainted, and humility is compromised for whatever is ruled socially important, there has to be people here that still have the courage to teach what is right—no matter what form or what it takes, and people that are still humble enough to learn and receive such lessons and apply them to their life. We will lose if we don’t be who we really are. We will also lose if we don’t continue to spread knowledge and challenge those who are close-minded to be as optimistic as possible. “As long as you’ve got passion, faith, and are willing to work hard, you can do anything and have anything in this world.”
-Source unknown I understand the world is yours, yes, all of yours. This book is to help you understand the same thing. This is your 2nd reminder.
Chapter 1 Get Started I suppose I can level with you guys a little. I aspire to explain the similarity of you and I. Things aren’t easy and I like to think that beside the word “adversity in the dictionary, there is a small picture of me beside it. I don’t want you feeling sorry for me, I want you to understand and realize that there is always a way. More than ever, I never had a person to be there to drop knowledge of things I didn’t
know about life or just remind me keep my head up when I was down. You are probably wondering what makes me so special and why in the world should you latch on to anything I have said in this book. I will go ahead and say, clearly I’m not famous, I don’t rap, play professional basketball, nor am I a person that does stupid things for attention on social media. What sets me aside from everyone else is that I believe I am you. I am no different than you. I understand what you are going through no matter what age you are and even if I don’t, I will try my best to do so. I am striving to help. Even if it is just one of you, I have done my job. I was 8 years old when I realized life was not all peaches and crème and every other moment after that until now, was a constant reminder that if I wanted better then it would take a kind of work ethic that I had not figured out until 4 years later. At 12 years old I hit what felt like rock bottom. My dad was in and out of my life for reasons only god knows, I suppose I had an idea but it was never discussed, and it probably wont ever be. I’ve come to terms with that. I blamed myself in private, and as the baby of the family; like always, no one has the time to figure out what’s wrong with me. I thought to myself that it had to be my fault that he decided to leave again without warning, move to an entirely new state, and remarry without even inviting me. I still battle those demons at random times. I couldn’t put my finger around why this man whom was everything to me, could completely leave me high and dry. I was 14 now and nothing has changed. I threw myself into sports hoping it would be an escape. For the most part, it was. I fell in love with basketball and I hoped that would make my dad love me more
because basketball was his favorite sport. He moved back to Virginia and only lived 10min from where I did. He never came by to visit and blamed me for our lack of communication. He’s never seen me play a game of basketball even being right up the street. I don’t hate him yet; at this point I hated myself, begging my dad to want to be a consistent part of my life. I never asked for anything but to be able to be best friends with my dad. Fast forward 2 years and now I’m 16 years old laying bed had just finished a note to my family explaining to them that living didn’t seem worth it anymore and that I didn’t want them to feel bad. My mom worked so hard and so often, I never wanted to burden her with my teenage issues or even to have her knowing that her son did not feel the need to live anymore. We struggled so much and so long, I just wanted to make it as easy for her as possible. Over the years I felt so alone and I had gotten so used to it, I started to feel like I didn’t need anyone. Anything I wanted done I did and anything I wanted to happen for me, I made happen. I had given up on my dad loving me, I had given up on anyone caring how I felt about things, and I had just given up on life. I had the best poker face. I ultimately blame myself for not saying things that could have been said overtime but just didn’t. Regardless if it helped any, I like to think just saying it out loud would have made a world of difference in my life. I always felt like there was no room for me. I wont bore you with the details. We all know the outcome. I’m still here and I credit only myself. I talked myself out of suicide and depression, maybe not completely for I do still struggle from time to time. Fortunately I am fine.
I decided to start to make sure to love myself. Still in sports, I was able to upgrade my game in basketball, and introduce myself to the sport of track and field where I eventually went on to win a state championship and earn a scholarship to run in college. I no longer need validation from anyone but it never took away the question as to when will or what do I have to do to become a priority. My dad continued his inconsistency and I began to take it as it is. I will never forgive him; I just decided to move on with myself. Throughout college I’ve broken may records, became a 3-time All- American, competed in USA national trials, and had the pleasure of making a USA team. None of which could have been done without courage and perseverance. It was my junior year of college during a time where I was running the best and feeling the best I’ve ever felt. It was decided that the athletics department would cut the men’s track and field program. With one more year of eligibility and 21 credits left to graduate, I would be left with what seemed to be only 2 options. Transfer to another school and graduate 2 years later than I normally would or stay, graduate on time and lose my last year to run college track. Adversity came like never before. This would probably be the hardest thing I’ve had to do at that point in my life. I decided for a guy like me who knows a college degree used to be an imagination and something that I couldn’t see myself with at any point until I realized how close I was. It took about a month of meetings, emailing, texts and calls from Division 1 coaches all over the county. I can recall about 31 schools reaching out about me transferring there for a year to run. In another world that would have been great but it was far to stressful for me. I decided to stay, give up
my last year and finish out my degree on time. So I started volunteer assistant coaching and training on my own in hope to still be able to reach my ultimate goal. It seemed almost impossible and it wore down on me really hard mentally. I felt like I meant nothing to a program I had helped build back up. I worked harder than ever and for reasons bigger than my coach and me; unfortunately I had to do it without him. I ran as an unattached professional athlete over in Canada on a two meet circuit where I performed well but nowhere near what I wanted. It would be the first time I had both false started in a race and earned money for competition. Talk about mixed feelings. Heading back to the states I was presented with an opportunity to get a masters degree and use my last year of track and field eligibility doing so. Having worked really hard for a bachelor’s degree I couldn’t imagine grad school but I wanted to run so bad. I chose my school and signed right away. In a new environment knowing absolutely no one, I vowed to commit more than ever. Again adversity hit me hard, and while I broke records and won conference championships and earned my 3 rd All-American honor, I just never adapted to my new training style. I earned my masters degree and heading out. Fast forward to now. I never thought my life would be what it is now. I was shaping up to be a professional track and field athlete and for a while that was my plan A, B, and C. Furthermore, I am now a coach, a mentor, and teacher, all of which I am truly passionate about. I strive to help and to be the person to everyone that I wish I had when I was growing up and even now. I have built a philosophy on trust, patience, passion, and honesty. Over may years of learning
my craft and my personal experiences, I feel that it is only right that I give it back in every way I can and I am pleased to have the opportunity and have put myself in position to do such. Again, I don’t want you feeling sorry for me, I want you to know and understand why I feel so qualified to be giving the information I’ve given you and that you can make lemonade out of life’s lemons. I am here for you because at one time, I felt like nobody was there for me.
Chapter 2 Don’t be the brown horse All your life there have been things that are constantly happening to you and people that are always saying things to you that eventually shape you into the person that you ultimately become. Social security is very powerful and because of that, you either do what is trendy and popular, or just stay under a rock. Your parents start off as huge influencers on your life. As a child you live for what they
have taught you rather it was right or wrong, whatever they said went. Why? Because you just don’t know any better and it is not your fault at this point. Ok so now, you are a few years older and a bit more independent. At this stage in your life you are now learning less from your parents and more towards your friends, oh, you have a social media now so that, of course, is more important than anything anyone in the real world has to offer you as far as life lessons and fashion trends go. Your whole image is changed, and you suddenly like everything your friends like, you wear your hair like everything and everyone on the best social media sites and for some odd reason you even talk different now. Sadly enough, now your parents have less and less influence on your life because at some point in your growth of personal life, you have put everything you think is cool over top of your parents—whose every word at some point, meant everything and then some to you. My entire point is to get to the question, what about pink? This may be a stretch but I have to ask… what if you didn’t do what everybody wanted you to do, say what everybody wanted you to say, and wear what everyone said to wear? At this point in the chapter you are probably thinking, “well nobody tells me what to do, I do what I want and I make my own decisions.” While this may be true for some, I know for all of you that if you think about this a little more, I want you to ponder if you have ever felt influence from no one but yourself. What’s your relationship like with your parents and has it always been that way? I only want you to ask yourself this because almost 100% of the times you don’t even realize
that these things are influencing you. Ok, you get a pass for being influenced as a child, but growing and developing your own sense of actual being, think about how many things and people influence what you do. “If you want to be successful in life, simply watch most people would do in a given situation, and then do the total opposite— nine times out of ten, you’ll receive greater rewards.” -Earl Nightingale Have you ever been on a farm or just riding by one? The horses there are usually the same. Brown horse and lots of them, more horses than anything else. These brown horses are a representation of the universe, the kind or world we live in today. So in a world full of brown horses, you ever seen a pink one? Why can’t you be so in touch with the being your own person that everything that is socially “right”, can be completely wrong for you? What if you found your own wave and didn’t care who was riding it or not, almost as if you would prefer to be the only one aboard. You don’t ever answer to anyone but yourself because your answers revolve around just you. You’re mind is free because no validation is needed. You don’t need the validation and stress from trying to keep up with the social do(s) and don’t(s). We live in a reality where change is inevitable. We don’t control it; we just live life and hope for the best, right? Correct me if I’m wrong but changing then makes things different, right? Ok so why is it that when you are different from anyone else, your wrong or weird? Ok, I got another one, with that fact, why is being different so amazing to everyone, so amazing that everyone wants to be different
but while trying to be different, you end up doing the same thing as everyone else? I cant understand for the life of me how you can be different the same. It even sounds a little weird but read it again slowly. It’s our world. You are forgetting yourself when you take on everyone else. How can you progress when you don’t even know your true self? I have many questions as you can see, I suppose, I’m just curious and I’d love for you to ask these questions as well. Another thing that sucks about it all, some people may really dislike you for being so different and not living by the standards set by society, unless you are the kind different they are or want you to be. Just don’t forget that deep down, they honestly want the courage you have to your true self. Most people cannot stand anything they don’t know or understand and it’s not even because its wrong or right, just the fact of not knowing throws them off because they secretly love it! Which is why we are, where we are today. People are afraid to be themselves. They don’t want to crap they may be because being themselves isn’t being everyone else so being accepted is almost impossible. You will crumble under the pressure, at the end of the day; you’ll look in the mirror and be completely torn apart because you are not the person you know you truly are. Would that be worse than looking in the mirror torn to pieces because you have absolutely no idea who you are looking at in the mirror? I think you would agree that at having an idea of your true self is more beneficial than not having an idea at all. Don’t get me wrong, I know that nobody is perfect and this is not an over night thing, however, the beauty in it all is that NOBODY is perfect. Do not idealize
anyone because they to have flaws like you. Be influenced by yourself. Find your true inside love. Through this journey you go through many stages and yes, those stages require you to make some mistakes and be someone you are, ultimately. All of which is fine as long as you leaning from those mistakes never forget you. Meryl Streep said, “Acting is not about being someone different. It’s finding the similarity in what is apparently different, then finding myself in there.” Which brings me back to the statement I made about not forgetting yourself. No matter what this process may cause you to do and no matter where your journey may take you, never forget yourself. It is important to be who you want to be, nobody else. I challenge you to be the pink horse that doesn’t exist. Show yourself and the rest of the world that it is perfectly fine to be yourself. Completely unapologetic and comfortable in you’re own skin. Understand what may come of it and prepare to lose anything and anyone that was never real to you, while gaining everything that is honestly meant for you. The pink horse is you; it’s what people want to be but more than ever afraid to be but need to be. You now know this, so be it. I want you to commit to being you kind of different, whatever that may be. I’m excited for your progress already. The world already needs more people with your mindset. Tell them it’s ok to be themselves no matter what the world says and that just because the horse is pink, does not make it weird for a guy to be such, don’t forget the message. Now turn the page.
Chapter 3 The Biggest Gift Is Opportunity There was a time in life that the idea of doing something for you was frowned upon. Everything you wanted to do was already decided and mapped out for you. At this point rather you were happy with it or not, this was your life, and your plan. Some of you may read this and say “great, less work for me!� but this chapter is for you too, so pay attention. With all that being said, I have to begin with, of course, an observation. Today, in the year 2018, some of you are more lazy than time has ever recorded, more entitled than any other generation, and your attitude completely sucks towards
anything that does not male you happy. Anything that hurts you, you give up with no hesitation, anything that is hard for you is dropped and not ever seen as a challenge but as something made to ruin your life. The relationship you have with your peers are as fake as the smile you show them when they tell you about something good that’s happened to them. For some odd reason, anything your parents say or anyone that has been in your position before is gone through one ear and out the other. In this next paragraph I’m going to tell you why. I remember when I was a young boy living in a motel room with my 2 older brothers and an older sister. This is a motel that had just 2 beds, one TV, one bathroom, and space is highly limited especially because we were all still growing both physically and mentally. My mom, a single parent and worked like no other to provide and for us to keep the little we already had. There was no time for extra. Watching this strong women do this for years before making any significant progress showed me as well as my siblings something we hold so dearly to our heart to this day. See, we had the upmost respect for her, we never talked back, and we understood and took in everything she said because of what she was doing for herself and us. Everything we wanted we worked for 100%. There were no short cuts at any point in my life and there was never a time where I felt like I could say “I finally caught a break.” While I hated it then, I appreciate it now. My mom kept us in check not only by sometimes getting on to us for doing something stupid but also by example. She was by no means a strict parent (I have a theory is was out of small guilt of everything we were going through,
luckily we were and still is very well behaved kids) but she kept our heads on straight. Which brings me back to 2018, where you kids are kept in check; rather you were raised with a silver spoon, mediocre, or just poverty. Kids these days hold values that don’t mean anything in the real world and it’s not your fault—well sort of. I blame society for telling you what’s important, I blame your parents for shoving whatever it is that you want in your face to get you to shut up when you are getting on their nerves, and I also blame them for wanting to be your friend more than anything else. You guys have no idea what’s out here in this world because its not at the palm of your hands or given to you when you ask for it. You know I have a challenge for you, right? Just keep reading. While 2018 is the year of laziness; it is also the year of opportunity. There are so many things to do now, than ever before. The technology level is at an all time high and still climbing, you have access to everything in this world via your cellphone and laptop. Everyone is so reachable, a simple email, mention, comment, and could be huge for you. So many things can happen for you like internships, job opportunities, personal business ventures, product promotion, and so much more that could be controlled by you. With all that being said, I don’t understand why you guys don’t take advantage. Think back to the very first paragraph where I discussed that at one point you basically had no say so when it came to your life, now in 2018 the biggest gift is OPPORTUNITY. There is a huge blessing that comes in the form of having the ability to get up in the morning and do whatever it is you want. Most of you would rather sleep. Most of you
would rather it be done for you not even knowing what it feels like to be able to say, “ I did this.” Or “This happened because I made it happen.” For you kids that are born into opportunity and resources out the wazoo and still not tae advantage, there’s a challenge coming for you. For you kids that’s don’t have it as good as the next person, there’s a challenge coming for you as well. Ann landers said this and it stuck with me and I hope it sticks with you too. “Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize it.” Don’t be most people, ladies and gentlemen. There is an opportunity in everything you do in your life and you must see it in order to be the best you. You can’t cheat on what you need to be great in life and that’s opportunity. In that hotel room, there were no opportunities visible. The inevitable opportunity in that motel room was to learn. Learn what work ethic is, learn what respect it, and learn what to do and not to do. I had the opportunity to learn what I wanted for my life and how to go about it. I saw the grind from momma and expected it for myself and then in turn expect it from others like you! You cant limit yourself for simple fact that you just lazy and entitled. There are people out here with no opportunities for reason they can’t control but you want to limit or simply eliminate yours because you just want an extra 5 min of sleep. If you don’t get up and take advantage of these opportunities then you will be left behind. Respect those who have any advice for you, no matter what it is, even if it sounds silly, take it in because you never know when you might need it. Know that society don’t rule you, you rule society. The social world don’t tell you what’s
cool for you to do, it’s the other way around. You have the power; you just don’t want to work for it. So of course, I want to challenge you. I challenge you to get up at 6am every morning to chase whatever it is you want out of life; I don’t care who you are or how old you are. Get up and go chase it. For you people that are born into a good life, I challenge you to stop being so entitled. Use those resources mommy and daddy got to go after what you want and you better not give up when it get hard for you. For you people that don’t have it good, stop wearing it on your work ethic. See, you already know what life is like when it gets hard so ahead of the game. You just using it as an excuse now but I’m challenging you to use that on something worth it. Get up and grind! All odds been against you, you have to beat those odds then tell your story like I’m doing now. I was poor most of my life, never had much of anything, but I made due. Being put out of apartments with my family on the side of the road and my friends asking me the next day at school that saw me on the side of the road “Vince what happened.” Five different elementary schools, walking everywhere I needed to go, making light of a dark situation with my small family in a motel room. But I was able to make good grades through it all played sports and it got me a full ride to a university where I thrived on my sport and came out with a degree that also lead to me getting a masters degree and now I’m…ok. You know how all that happened? Taking advantage of my opportunities. Now it’s your turn.
Chapter 4 HELLO EGO Ok, so first, allow me to give you the dictionary definition of what ego means. Ego: “A person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance.” Ok now that we got that out the way, I want to talk to you guys about this word and what it does to us. Ego is what makes us the way we are. This is what causes us to make the decisions we make for whatever reason we see fit. While all this is true, this is not always a good thing nor is it always a bad thing. Among all things we must check our egos at all times. Your ego will allow you to miss out on things that can be very beneficial to you and your entire life, even, but the fact that you may feel like you are bigger than what is in front of you that you don’t
have to take the necessary steps to get where you ultimately want to be, you decline, that is not knowing your worth by the way, that’s pure ego. When an opportunity is presented to you and you know all too well that this is something good for you and you decline because of a personal reason of feeling less than, you are being controlled by your ego. There was a time where my ego got the best of me. There was a time when I was younger; I would get in trouble with my mom. I would be doing something stupid and of course she would get on me about it and after we argued a little I would be so mad at her. I would go to my room and promise myself that I was done with her and that I would never talk to her again no matter what it was. While times goes by and eventually things calm down in her eyes, in my eyes the fuel was still steaming in my brain. Mom would make a bomb dinner and when it was ready, she would call me and my siblings to the dinner table and because I was still so mad at her, my ego would tell me “ don’t do it man, she yelled at you earlier” even though I knew I wanted that dinner, I would rather go to bed hungry than eat any food she had made. Thinking back on it, I was crazy to ever turn down my moms cooking, and of course it didn’t work, she made me come and eat dinner. Of course that’s something small now, but as a pre teen, things like that were huge to me. I have met people that would gladly turn away free information that they know will help them all because the person that is giving it to them, makes them feel threatened because they feel it should be them instead. As a teacher and a coach, I have seen kids not ask for help because their ego says it’s not cool.
Grown men and woman will go to bat to argue a point because admitting to being wrong is not allowed by your ego. Someone the same age as you is in a better position in life at the time, they want to help you get to where they are but you wont listen. Why? Your ego is through the roof. How can you neglect your life progression because you don’t want to be wrong more than you want to learn what is right. See, what egotistical people do is worship in private. They may act like they don’t want to listen to you in person but in private, man they studying everything you said word for word. That ego will never let you hear about it. While that is all fine and dandy with you, that’s the very reason for this chapter. “The ego is the single biggest obstruction to the achievement of anything.” -Richard Rose Now, that I am older and have dealt with having to check your ego at the door, I have become more aware of the importance of such. As a being on this earth, you have the ability and the natural right to obtain and provide information at will through many platforms. I have an issue with those who don’t take advantage of that. Personally, at the age of 25 I feel as though I have obtained an abundance of information and I feel as though it is my unspoken duty to give it back, no matter who receives it or not. I choose to be a coach for the same reason. I have developed a mind for my sport and an unmatched passion along with continued information from numerous resources as well as personal experiences and who would I be to not give it back?
If I never checked my ego, id sit on the information and hope they learn it on their own no matter if they ask me for help or not. Your ego will allow you be alone in this world and not in a good way. It’s a cold place for a person who believes they’re above all people, and that is what an ego does. People help people and those people help more people. Be apart of that people bunch. Nobody is perfect as far as ego, goes. Earlier I just told you of a time where I was being controlled by an ego, granted I was not even 13 yet, that just goes to show how early this begins and if not handled, then it can and will only get worse. Parents have the tendencies to raise their kids to believe they are better than all and if they aren’t, they have to work towards it, again I am only 25 an di don’t have kids so I cannot give out parenting advice. However, if you are amongst those groups of kids (and you know you are) this is especially for you. You are no bigger than anyone on this planet no matter what you are told. You are not to cool to learn, lose, or love. You don’t know everything, but you can sure learn everything. Your ego will ruin you if you let it. I bet you readers can smell a challenge coming. “More the knowledge lesser the ego, lesser the knowledge more the ego” -Albert Einstein Now that we have had this amazing discussion, before I express my challenge to you, I want you to introduce yourself to your ego. Say hi to it and see what good and bad it has done for you. You can’t forget this either, it’ll be important in the future, I promise. So now that you very acquainted with your ego, I challenge you to do 2 things and it does not matter what you choose for they both will be very
helpful to your life after this chapter. First thing, control it. Use your ego and do not let it use you. When you use your ego, it becomes easier to know your worth so you never settle. It also challenges your work ethic. You will be able to push yourself to heights you had no idea existed. You begin seeking information from everything you get your can get your hands on and applying it so that every move you make will be towards your goal. Whereas letting your ego use you, you shut out everything and only see one path. Second thing I challenge you to do with your ego is to throw it out the window. Get rid of it. It has done nothing but hold you back from progression and you know it and the only way out is to simply let it all go. Your ego is the acknowledgment of ones self. Don’t ever be too proud; remember how cold that road gets.
Chapter 5 People are going to call you, “Crazy” and “Weird” and “Mad” for doing your own thing. Take the compliment.
Society tells you what the perfect person is, what the perfect relationship is, what shoes to wear if you want to be popular, what clothes to wear to be able to kick it with the cool kids, and it promotes behaviors by everyone that tells you that if you are doing what we/they are, then you aren’t a cool person. How dare you go against society? They always win and if you don’t do what they say, you’re a sick person. Nobody will pay any mind and you’ll be judged. It’s a sad deal but honestly, it the world we live in today. There are people in today’s world that will disrespect his or her own parents whom never done anything but good to them, all because their friends treat their
parents that way. It’s weird to say but it’s actually not cool to respect your parents these days, at least if you want to hang with a certain crowd. You’re a coward if you’re adapting to a lifestyle to fit in with a certain crowd, I’m just saying. Its funny how society will advertise what the perfect girl looks like, sending all the girls that don’t look like that in a frenzy, trying their best to match what society tells them is perfect. Guys too, if you don’t sag your pants you’re not cool, bro. How dare you pull your pants up and carry yourself with some respect? Ladies, wear a ton of make up because society tells you that your natural beauty isn’t going to do the trick. Oh yea, and your real hair isn’t good enough either, please wear weave all the time so you can fit in more. You people in relationships, when you want to know how to treat your significant other, let social media teach you and idealize celebrity couples, oh, and don’t forget to base your relationship off of what everyone else thinks about you guys. That’s what society says. The paragraph sounded like complete stupidity right? What’s sad is that this is the world we live in. “Just be yourself, let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful and magical person that you are.” -Mandy Hale So why is it so important to be yourself in this life? Don’t worry, I’ll tell you. The worlds going in a direction no one seems to be proud of. However, the weak ones adapt to it no matter how much they don’t want to, all so they don’t get left behind. So yes, being you not only shows strength. Being yourself shows the courage and comfort in your own skin. Being yourself says that you don’t care
which direction everyone else is going, you make your own path. You start your own trends and you make yourself smile, never depending on anything or anyone to do so. Being yourself is an act that cant be tampered with nor broken or altered in any way, shape, or form. It’s so important to be yourself in this life because there aren’t many people doing it. It’s up to you to stay balanced and not get so sucked in by this controlled society that tells you what’s right and what’s wrong. I read an article the other day that explained that the world is being controlled by twitter and other social media outlets simply because the more we consume it the less we use our own brains. Those things think for us, we don’t figure out anything anymore, we look or social media for validation for everything in our lives. I personally am a fan of social media, I use it when I’m bored or have nothing to. However, I’m using it, it doesn’t use me and that’s how I wish the world would look at it. We live in a world where people will honestly hate you because you aren’t doing what everyone else is doing. Jim Morrison said this “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” With that being said, I have honestly lost friends because I’m not like them. Allow me to elaborate. When I was young I did things, acted a certain way, and I put myself around things and in situations I wasn’t always proud of and so did my friends. I used to think things were so cool and the way I thought was, now looking back on it, completely idiotic. Though I like to think I have always had a decent head on my shoulders, I was in fact a human teenager. I had friends and we all did the same things. Long story short, as we grew up we grew apart. We don’t hate each other, in fact, whenever I see
them its always love. Thing is, we don’t hang as much or talk as much. This is all because we don’t think the same anymore, I don’t fit in with them like I used to and it sucks but I’m different now, doing my own thing, and happy with it. But I’m telling you this so that you know what the consequences may be after you become yourself. I challenge you to only change for the better and don’t follow the “leader” but follow yourself. You never know, you could be the example the world needs in order to restore its balance. That may be a long shot but it’s worth a try. I always told myself that if I can help at least one person, then I have done my job, everything after is just a beautiful bonus. I personally take tremendous pride in being myself. Sometimes it’s hard though, seeing people where you feel like you should be, you start to feel like well darn, let me do what they did. You can never lose sight of your own vision. People will stumble in your track to try and redirect you, watch for them. There will be hurdles in the way of you and your path, run right through them. What I’m trying to say it, people suck and no you will not fix everyone but being yourself first will set the tone. Take your criticism, be ready for it because it comes really fast when your doing our own thing. You will be hated on simply because the person hating isn’t doing there own thing, they are doing everyone else’s thing and is so mad because they wish they had the same courage you do to. You deal with them un-phased, just pray for them so that they will hopefully soon find their own path as you did yours so take the compliment. With all that being said, I have another challenge for you. Stop caring about what anyone thinks of you. I want you to see the same way I did the kind of people you
end up with in life consistently because they are ok with the kind of person you are. Don’t be afraid to listen to the kind of music you like because you think someone else may not like it the same way you do. Don’t your dare be afraid to be the class nerd because you are scared that if people know how much a genius you are, they may pick on you. I want you to keep smiling because you know that everyday you wake up, you’re the best you, you can be and remind people of how good it feels to be themselves because everyone else is taken. Like I said before, you are always strong in your own truth. Turn the page.
Chapter 6 Work ethic It’s a sad story when you have to explain what you see in this day and age. All you see is people, not even just kids, that give up far to easily. They expect everything to be given to them because whatever reason they may have been raised upon or whatever their friends are doing. Maybe it’s my fault because I was brought up on absolutely nothing. My upbringing required maximum effort to get whatever I wanted, no matter how small or big it was. Though I am in a place where I am better than I ever thought I would be, what drives me is never forgetting where I came from and what I had to do to get here. Steve Jobs said that “your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.”
All my life I was—for some reason—surrounded by people that were always in much better positions than I was. While I was jealous of them for having it easy and yes I would have loved to not have struggled personally, these days I am truly grateful to have grown up with limited to no resources at all. I was that guy that had to study extra hard to get even a C on what could be the biggest test of my academic career. I was staying late at practice to master what my teammates could halfway do just by relying on their natural abilities. I watched myself suffer at the bottom while watching those above me prosper then soon being able to humbly pass them because my work ethic was undefeated. I complained a lot and wish so much for a better situation but though it all, it has shaped me to be the person I am today and I am proud of it. I was able to accomplish things that defeat all odds against me being an African American male raised on poverty, making history in my immediate family, and doing most all on my own. I will be the first to admit I am a walking stereotype; at least that’s what the world says. How did I get to where I am now, simple worth ethic? Of course! I assume some of you have no idea what work ethic is. Ill tell you in my own words. Worth ethic is personal and cannot be defeated. Work ethic cant be coached either, I’ll bet you didn’t know that either huh? Oh yes, you can be the best person there is naturally, notice I said naturally, which means you may have been born with a certain “it factor” that could easily be developed. Without work ethic, any natural ability will never be able to develop. Work ethic defines you, why? Because work ethic doesn’t start and stop with the coach is there and gone. In fact, work ethic is what you are willing to do when not a soul is watching.
This is what is separates you from the rest. Everyone these days are obsessed with what is going on TV or what ever their favorite person is doing. You are mesmerized by the success of those you admire. So mesmerized that you forget to research what it took to get to where they are. This goes for everything, not just athletics. People in general desire to be better, which is just fine. However, the journey they embark to peruse such is what this chapter is for. “Talent is a gift, but your attitude, work ethic, and character are things you have to develop.” -Rebekah Harkness Looking in the mirror you have to reintroduce yourself to you. Decide what kind of person you are going to be and what you want for you life now and in the future. Afterwards, plot the journey and they outwork everybody walking. Work ethic makes you scary, only at first though. In the beginning, you start to separate yourself from people that don’t fit the mold. While this wont be intentional and will happen over time, you will feel this sense of urgency all the time and you wont be able to control it at first but my, when you do! Then you start to do your research on things to progress and you take action no matter what. You become obsessed with making yourself better and in turn you will be better. There is not much I love in this world, but the things I do love, I’m so invested in it that it is almost unhealthy. You have to be willing to stay up late studying for that test you so badly want to pass, you have to be the first one at practice and the last one to leave if you want to better than everyone else. It’s the most positive way to posses a sort of killer instinct. You have to be passionate about your
success and obsessed with it. Your action towards your goal is contagious to your real life. Once you start to be consistent, the path is so smooth. There are moments where your back will be against the wall, or at least feel like it is, and we all know how easy it is to quit and move on to what is easier for you. Don’t feed the negativity, for your work ethic is bigger than everything that is against you. I like to believe that life and personal progression is measured by work ethic. The world’s axes are tilted towards those who are willing to tap into their potential when no one is watching them. With that being said, here’s your challenge. I challenge you to put down the phone, address your weaknesses and transform them in to something that works for you and not against you. I challenge you to wake up early in the morning and go after what you want by any means (of course legally). This challenge also includes the commitment to working on yourself none stop. I think if you all fell in love with the process and wrapped yourself into it, you will not be stopped and everything you ever want will be yours. That’s what people don’t understand. The world is yours and the sky is truly the limit but those are only words with no work ethic. I challenge you to turn what seems to be nothing into something. Everybody is capable of giving up on you, but you will never give up on you and that should be enough for you. Validation should just be a mere bonus to your route to success not the soul purpose of it. Works hard now, it will for sure pay off. “Be humble. Be hungry. And always be the hardest worker in the room.” -Dwayne ‘The Rock” Johnson
Chapter 7 Take time All my life I’ve been so obsessed with time and everything that it means. I have always loved to watch things grow, keep track of how long it will take when traveling from one place to another, and just overall progression. To see what things used to be and what they are now is so intriguing. Time is not just numbers ticking on a clock. Time is the definition of life and is the root of everything, no, everyday. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without it. Not often though, for it’s just amazing to me. There are many sides of time to ponder and I’m only going to discuss a few. Time defined beginning, middle, and end. First, the beginning is inevitable; we all know what happens in the beginning. Your born and then you begin your journey. The end is another
inevitable for everything must come to an end. In a more straightforward term, everybody dies eventually—we will talk about this later. Of the three parts of time, I heavily admire the middle aspect of it. Of course, I will explain why. The middle of time shows many transitions and if you are luckily during the middle phase of time you get to experience growth. I always through that in life, time always seems to go so fast whenever you are enjoying yourself or doing anything you actually want to do. It’s Friday and you’re in the last class of the day or you’re at work on a Monday, it always feels like you’re never going to get off or that bell to get out for the weekend will never ring. For some odd reason, when the weekend actually comes, it goes just as fast as it came. It sucks true enough but the idea is that life passes you by when you’re enjoying yourself. You don’t care when and where or how, you are just worried about right now and that is the idea of spiritual living in the middle phase of time. The object of this chapter is for you to realize that time is of the essence. So take it. Take it for yourself, so do you don’t get so caught up in what is going around you that you miss it. Sure times is valuable and it is a beauty of all, but it does not wait for you, the middle phase of life is when you do what you want to do, respectively. This is where you don’t second guess because time is something you don’t get back. Learn during the phase of time. Patience is the building blocks of progression both mentally and physically. When you are strong enough to not be carried out of character because your patience is stronger than any obstacle or that you are able to wait for progression, for you now know that
nothing happens overnight. The appreciation level is unmatched at this point of the time phase. This phase of time is the most important because you learn the most about yourself. Time used wisely is in the long run, called discipline. Discipline is your freedom. 120% effort is great, but how often can you do it? I’m saying 120% because 100% is what everybody else's putting in! 120 is your! From start to finish, you have to execute! Some of you often feel like you not where you supposed to be right now or it's something you need to be doing that you aren’t. You’ve lost yourself and you are scared because of the process! You don't want to go through it. First, identify what is wrong, cuddle with it, and feel it. This is the only way you will over come it. Do not be scared to feel bad because it's cool to hurt—No matter what they say— Just don't take all day. I told you time does not wait on you like that. Don’t forget to plan for something positive, see what's next for you and how you will get there. Don't you dare forget that the road is not smooth in all parts and that an obstacle is waiting for you and you haven't even started the journey yet. I don't mean any harm but I'm telling you this because I've been through this. I'm not making this up. This all experience I'm giving to you! This middle phase cause for some hiccups but this what time is for isn’t it? Take time to mess up, fix it and mess up again, for failure is not only a one-time thing, but also your moment is. I’m not saying if you miss out on something good about your life you will never get the moment back, but even if you get close to the moment, it will never be like the first one you missed out on. You wont get it right
every time but as long as you take time, you will realize that better late than never is always a thing of the middle phase. You have be excited about all parts of you future today, next hour future, next day future, next month future, next year future, just be excited about it. I promise your behavior will change without much effort. You can’t hide parts of you, embracing every part of you is how you become free and only you know how, so take time to figure it out in its entirety. In this middle phase of time, sometimes not talking is the best thing for you. Of course knowing things is fine but if you don’t take the time to shut up and learn, you will miss it. See, the failure is when you don’t know things and act like you do. In a more vulgar way, I challenge you to listen more than you speak, then you will in turn, learn a lot. Times are always going and as an individual your time must come to an end. I don’t say this to scare you or in any negative way. I’m telling you this to ensure that we don’t live to the inevitable. We live to live. We don’t pay attention to when our clock is going to end because we must enjoy what time we do have. You are a special soul and must be treated as such, not only from everyone else but more importantly, yourself. Death is what gives meaning to life. It’s the reason to be the best you. To know that your days are numbered and that one day it will be all over. Is the reason to get up in the morning and grind, stay kind, and work your tail off while having the time of you limited life? Nothing comes from sleeping but a dream and a dream is just that unless fully attacked and executed. What are you waiting on? Wake up everyday and be exactly who you say you are. The only way you can stay a top dog, is if you continue to grind like you are
still the under dog. Remember people fail faster than they succeed. Progress is a process that cannot be cheated.
Chapter 8 Keep going Everyone knows that in life we hit a crossroads. NO matter what age we are, at some point in your life, you either already have or will eventually feel like you are stuck. Not just physically, but mentally. An area I believe drives every part of you. I want you to remember how important it is to do your life’s homework. Donald Glover once said that “knowledge is power, honesty is power, and truth is power.” Which to me, means that once all three are mastered, or even committed to, you become the very person you desire to be. “Knowledge will bring you the opportunity to make a difference.” -Claire Fagin
All my life I have had this high desire for learning. For someone who loves to learn so much you would be surprised to know this has nothing to do with actually school criteria. More so on my own. Reading books, articles, journals etc. I just enjoy learning on my own terms I guess. It’s a pretty different feeling when you stop questioning and just going with the flow, accepting whatever comes your way. You are where you are right now because of your choices and your way of thinking. So what's next? There is always something to be done to get better... You don't fail because you suck at life, not capable or any other negative adjective that you may THINK describe you. Information changes situations and I also believe that knowledge, in most cases to me, is the new money. Now, its up to you to get as rich as you can. Do not ever blame anyone. You lose the ability to take accountability for yourself, so take ownership. I blamed my dad for a lot. Though he was not there I will never blame him for everything he didn't do for me. The reason for the way I am is because I stopped waiting, I stopped believing, I stopped being hurt, I expected nothing and I smiled a lot. It was a process but I was there for it. Now, I will say the pain is real but these days, so is my smile. I’ll tell you a secret, whatever it is that you're doing, literally anything in your life will be extremely hard if it is something you deem worth it. Even if it isn't, if you don't believe that whatever it is that you are doing is not valued by the person you see when you look in the mirror, back out now. Don’t waste life.
Though life is no walk in the park, I find it a lot easier to live knowing exactly what I want out of it. Everyday you should never be scared to start chasing dreams far beyond imagination, getting closer and closer each day. It makes this life and all of its lemons so worth basking in. “You can’t cheat the grind, it knows how much you have invested, and it wont give you anything you haven’t worked for” -Unknown Long-term goals are the ones that keep you hungry. It also makes everything in between motivation for you and eventually others. No matter how hard it is you have to keep reminding yourself how important it is to stay positive. Considering circumstances that alter your feelings towards your surroundings—this used to be so hard. I’d be lying if I said I don’t still have those hard times. I give up inside on life inside of me at least 3 times a day. To realize you are far much stronger than you are no matter what, is honestly a blessing. Like I said before though, I still have those days but it has gotten easier. You should constantly be thinking of the next move Even when you are enjoying the moment and celebrating the small victories along the way, there is and always will be room to improve yourself or the people around you. I always felt like I had so much bad luck that it’s hard to even enjoy a seemingly good day. I soon realized that I work too hard and my dreams are realistic, so I grind, I'm in a position where losing isn’t an option and optimism is my favorite. Become familiar with ups and downs and learn that both can be conquered. It's all fun, business aside, enjoy love the ride even when you don't
sometimes, it makes the story better, and the journey so worth it, it's the dramatics that will push you. Have you ever been down and not seeing an up? Then you made something out of nothing because faith is so powerful and you believe in the man above even though some often, he seems nowhere to be found. You’re not given a chance because your position in life, the titles you already have, or what it looks like on the outside even though it may all shines brighter than what is on the inside. At that point, No one cares to really know because what they think they know satisfies them, your life is only yours internally, it's true when they say life is what you make it, if you don't, your life is everyone's that has an opinion of you. I never really understood that until now. So again, don’t forget to keep grinding. Your focus is should be on an entirely different level; you don't even think the same. When you want something as bad as you want oxygen, it channels a different you. Down to the little things, the mental things, the physical things, and emotional things.
Deep down, I want
you all to be happy. Happy because you know you can be. So the moment never matters because you know when the moments over, its exactly that so you hold on to your sanity. Just hold on to your knowledge of real happiness, even in the worse situations. Don’t sweat it, I promise it won’t last long. Very few is worth you being uncomfortable. I challenge you to never give up. I challenge you to never give up on others, even when they push you away. Though some battles are worth fight, don’t be fooled by those that aren’t. I’m telling you to never give up on people but in a sense,
there will be a time when something that is negative to you or holding you back, ahs to get the boot out of your life. I’m challenging you to challenge yourself. Don’t cheat yourself out of success because you would rather take a short cut than feel like the pain of going from the bottom to the top.
Bonus: I'm no saint, I know. Far from the ideal human being I suppose. Such strong refusal to fail, overly positive I can't even stand it. What's the reality? You do almost everything right to get reminded that it isn't good enough. So many tests of faith and I can't give up. How could I when I work so hard for everything I have thus far? I can’t name one thing that was given on silver platter with my name and no "catch" to it.
But I'm still so positive,
Because I read and I've seen, oh believe me, I've seen. So many mistakes turned great and I wonder... When's my turn? Why am I getting so close and then pushed back further than before? What am I missing in my journey? I plot to a T so I don't miss it.
Why must another's presence dictate your grind? I understand the support... "You got it", "great job" but I mean in a smaller sense— What do you know alone and what can you work on alone to bring to the support system and for them to notice for you have not been slacking?
It's the want to... You can't be taught that...only presented with. How bad you want it decides how successful you will be.
I don't need a shortcut I promise, just for everything to pay off and not be so temporary. People I don't care about them, not unless you're genuine and bring good vibes, but trust. Like everything else, if you leave my life I'll be every emotion in the book but surprised. That's only if you stick around.
Gosh I seems like I'm so down. Shoot, maybe I am to be honest. But I don't need nor want to be fixed. I will keep pushing.
I don't know anything else; until I’m tired and fed up I promise I will keep pushing. Don't read this and think less.
I just never understand why things suck. Life gets the best of me when the devil works overtime but I will not cave. Living, to learn, to apply it, and proceed to leave your mark, Change a life for the better Make someone smile. Embrace the uncontrollable and adjust to any extent for your mental an emotional spirit shall never be broken...
-Coach Wyatt
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