The Spaniel Diaries: The continuing adventures of Billy

The Spaniel Diaries

Well, so much for summer, I can’t say I’m impressed! My fur is wet, my bed keeps getting damp, mum is fed up with washing my blankies and trying to get them dry, the wind is howling and Mav is more annoying than ever. I feel like I am going to grow webbed feet! I think I shall bite the weatherman if he doesn’t hurry up and send some sunshine our way soon.

I would happily stay on the sofa but mum insists we must go out and make the most of the long days as we have waited so long for them and on top of that we still have training, even the bunnies are staying underground! On the bright side though, it is nice and cool, although mum refers to it as “freezing” although I suppose she doesn’t have a nice thick fur coat to keep her warm – unless you count the fuzzy mop on top of her head! I am not sure but I have a suspicion that I’m to be sent to the grooming lady very soon as I saw her and mum talking and looking over at me, I’m not too impressed with that as I come home smelling like a perfume factory but mum of course, thinks that is wonderful and doesn’t stop going on about it for days, I just really hope the foxes have the decency to leave plenty of poo so I can roll in it to remove the odour of cleanliness as soon as I can! The final insult is that Mav gets taken for a lovely walk and gets a treat while I’m stuck in the bath being preened and chopped; Mav only gets to go now and again for a tidy up as he being a young squirt doesn’t grow such a luxurious and fine fur coat as I do.

I’m really chuffed with myself as I have found a whole new way to get Mav into trouble! I simply egg him on to eat mum’s vegetable plants. I find if I pick at the odd leaf of her courgettes he’ll want them and literally pull them up and run off with them thinking he’s got one over on me, but he actually ends up in mum’s bad books! It’s so funny, especially when he’s haring around the house with a whole plant, roots, soil and all with her in hot pursuit! I just watch proceedings from my comfy sofa spot while pretending to be fast asleep. I have also found that standing on his head gets rid of him if he steals my favourite sofa spot too! It’s my Birthday soon and I’m hoping for a big, juicy steak like the one I had last year, Dad can’t believe that us Spaniels get a steak on our Birthday, we eat better than he does apparently! Mum gets us really nice meat, tasty treats and makes sure we get all our vitamins, Dad is lucky to get a ready meal – whatever that is – sounds OK to me, I am a great lover of all things edible, especially cat poo much to mum’s horror and disgust! Talking of cats, one scared the life out of me last week, I was trotting along nosing in the hedge as usual when this angry fur ball shot out from under my feet hissing and spitting! It made me jump and woof in surprise, I legged it back towards mum and left Mav to deal with it, he woofed too then backed up pretty quickly – those farm cats aren’t to be toyed with! I prefer to just study them from the floor while they perch on the hay bales staring at me; if they come too close I’m outta there!! Until next time, stay safe Billy! Jeannette Douglas

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