How would you like to be remembered? How would you like to be remembered? 36

My grandfather used to say to me, My grandfather used to say to me, ‘When you and hasten their own death. My grandfather used to say to me, ‘When you and hasten their own death. grow up, become an undertaker or a hairdresser and you 19, I’ grow up, become an undertaker or a hairdresser and you’ll never be out of work’. Under Covid 19, I’m sad to say that undertakers have even outdone the hairdressers. In those families I have worked with where their family member has written down their wishes, there is a huge sense of calm when it comes to arranging the funeral. There is less grow up, become an undertaker or a hairdresser and you’ll never be out of work’. Under Covid 19, I’m sad to say that undertakers have even outdone the hairdressers. In those families I have worked with where their family member has written down their wishes, there is a huge sense of calm when it comes to arranging the funeral. There is less outdone the hairdressers. Cut to many decades later and I was helping at a stress. It stops family arguments when everyone Cut to many decades later and I was helping at a stress. It stops family arguments when everyone Cut to many decades later and I was helping at a friend’s funeral when one of the guests asked involved is already trying to cope with their friend’s funeral when one of the guests asked involved is already trying to cope with their friend me if I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about so me if I’d ever considered being a Celebrant. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about so decided to investigate further and it led me to undergo some professional training. own grief and worried about what the deceased might or might not have wanted. Funeral ceremonies are changing. If you have strong religious beliefs, it is likely you will me if I’d ever considered being a Celebrant. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about so decided to investigate further and it led me to undergo some professional training. own grief and worried about what the deceased might or might not have wanted. Funeral ceremonies are changing. If you have strong religious beliefs, it is likely you will decided to investigate further and it led me to Over the past two years I have written, prowant to hold a service in a church or other reliOver the past two years I have written, prowant to hold a service in a church or other reliundergo some professional training. duced and managed nearly one hundred funerals gious venue but, if not, the ceremony most often duced and managed nearly one hundred funerals gious venue but, if not, the ceremony most often Over the past two years I have written, produced and managed nearly one hundred funerals at more than forty different crematoria. at more than forty different crematoria. My role involves meeting with grieving families and assisting them at a very difficult time to put together a very personal ceremony and eulogy now takes place in a crematorium. Crematoria have to run to a very strict timetable and bookings normally have to be completed in half an hour. This means the actual ceremony has to be at more than forty different crematoria. My role involves meeting with grieving families and assisting them at a very difficult time to put together a very personal ceremony and eulogy now takes place in a crematorium. Crematoria have to run to a very strict timetable and bookings normally have to be completed in half an hour. This means the actual ceremony has to be My role involves meeting with grieving families totally focused on the life of the loved one who tightly managed to twenty minutes and some totally focused on the life of the loved one who tightly managed to twenty minutes and some and assisting them at a very difficult time to put together a very personal ceremony and eulogy totally focused on the life of the loved one who has died. The recent pandemic has highlighted, possibly more than at any other time in our history, the need we have as humans to come together and families who are unaware of this or who don't know how to manage this choose to rely on a Celebrant to help them put together a memorable service for their loved one. has died. The recent pandemic has highlighted, possibly more than at any other time in our history, the need we have as humans to come together and families who are unaware of this or who don't know how to manage this choose to rely on a Celebrant to help them put together a memorable service for their loved one. has died. support one another in a time of sadness and The critical part to understand is that there are support one another in a time of sadness and The critical part to understand is that there are The recent pandemic has highlighted, possibly grief. Stories of family members having to reno rules. Once the doors of the crematorium grief. Stories of family members having to reno rules. Once the doors of the crematorium more than at any other time in our history, the need we have as humans to come together and support one another in a time of sadness and main separated at the time of a loved one’s passing has been heartbreaking for many. When it then comes to planning their funeral and being told only a dozen or so mourners can attend chapel close, the space and the time are for your family to use as you wish. I have created services where the deceased has received a final toast with champagne, where three cheers have main separated at the time of a loved one’s passing has been heartbreaking for many. When it then comes to planning their funeral and being told only a dozen or so mourners can attend chapel close, the space and the time are for your family to use as you wish. I have created services where the deceased has received a final toast with champagne, where three cheers have grief. Stories of family members having to re–the isolation can be overwhelming. been called, a coffin that was covered in soft –the isolation can be overwhelming. been called, a coffin that was covered in soft main separated at the time of a loved one As part of planning a funeral, I help families toys, a chapel that resounded to the chant of As part of planning a funeral, I help families toys, a chapel that resounded to the chant of passing has been heartbreaking for many. When it then comes to planning their funeral and being told only a dozen or so mourners can attend choose any music, readings or poems, decide how and in what order they will enter the chapel, who might speak during the ceremony and whether to close the curtains or leave them open Arsenal football supporters. On the coffins have stood a model of a Land Rover, a fishing hat, 1950s football boots, a packet of cigarettes and bottle of Scotch, a knitting bag with choose any music, readings or poems, decide how and in what order they will enter the chapel, who might speak during the ceremony and whether to close the curtains or leave them open Arsenal football supporters. On the coffins have stood a model of a Land Rover, a fishing hat, 1950s football boots, a packet of cigarettes and bottle of Scotch, a knitting bag with –at the end. It can be a sensitive conversation at the end. It can be a sensitive conversation the isolation can be overwhelming. unfinished knitting. unfinished knitting. As part of planning a funeral, I help families when people are at their most vulnerable. The eulogies I write are not just a list of dates or when people are at their most vulnerable. The eulogies I write are not just a list of dates or choose any music, readings or poems, decide how and in what order they will enter the chapel, who might speak during the ceremony and What has become evident to me in my role as a Celebrant, is the added trauma that can be experienced by a family when they don’t know what their loved one would have wanted for their achievements but deeply personal memories that bring a person’s story ‘back to life’ again for those few short moments before they make their final journey. Life, when you break it What has become evident to me in my role as a Celebrant, is the added trauma that can be experienced by a family when they don’t know what their loved one would have wanted for their achievements but deeply personal memories that bring a person’s story ‘back to life’ again for those few short moments before they make their final journey. Life, when you break it whether to close the curtains or leave them open funeral. Everyone assumes that when they have down, is just that: a host of memories of special funeral. Everyone assumes that when they have down, is just that: a host of memories of special at the end. It can be a sensitive conversation written a Will, they have completed everything moments. A creative, well put together funeral written a Will, they have completed everything moments. A creative, well put together funeral when people are at their most vulnerable. What has become evident to me in my role as a Celebrant, is the added trauma that can be expeready for their demise. It’s also common practice for everyone to brush aside the suggestion that they should record what they want –a feeling that if they dare do it, they will tempt fate should honour all the big and little things that make us who we are and how we would ultimately like to be remembered. ready for their demise. It’s also common practice for everyone to brush aside the suggestion that they should record what they want –a feeling that if they dare do it, they will tempt fate should honour all the big and little things that make us who we are and how we would ultimately like to be remembered. rienced by a family when they don their loved one would have wanted for their funeral. Everyone assumes that when they have 36 Please mention Shepperton Matters when responding to adverts www.villagematters.co.uk 36 Please mention Shepperton Matters when responding to adverts www.villagematters.co.uk