October 2013 Magazine by Vic Loughran

CLUB SIBERME CLUB SIERRA BERMEJA SOCIO-CULTURAL DE ESTEPONA

INTERNATIONAL CLUB OF ESTEPONA FOR ALL ENGLISH SPEAKING PEOPLE of San Pedro - Estepona - Casares Manilva - Sotogrande & Beyond

OCTOBER 2013 Edition www.siberme.com Now on

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ICE Magazine Contents Page 24 October Event Details, Events For Your Diary Page 25 Our Romantic Holiday - Article Page 26 Travel Tips - Members Article Page 28 Autumn Fayre Recipes - Poetry Corner Page 30 Puzzle Page Page 32 General Information Page 33 Committee and Advert Info Page 34 Just for a Smile

Page 5 Presidents Letter - Obituaries Page 6 Bulletin Board – Lottery Page 8/9 Computer Tips Page 9 Autumn Golf Cup Lunch Details Page 10/11 Annette’s Adventures Page 12 Nigel’s Classified Ad’s Page 12/13 Past Events

Page 14 This Months Events - Autumn Golf Cup Details Page 18/23 October Calendar Page 23 Future Events

President Doug Mitchell Editor Terry Smith Advertising Jackie Simmonds Disclaimer: - The committee wishes to declare that ICE does not accept responsibility for the contents of articles nor the claims made by advertisers. Printed by Digiprint, Avda Litoral, Edificio Visamar, Blq 2 Local 9, 29680 Estepona Visit Our New Improved Club Website: www.siberme.com Free Wi-Fi for members at the clubhouse. Now upgraded to 8Mb The magazine is published on the website on or before the first day of each month. Please mention ICE club & magazine when contacting advertisers. EDITORIAL Summer is all over, seen some weather change already but sure this was just a blip. Welcome back all those that have travelled to many far off places. So we can now park again, not get stuck in those supermarket queues with holiday makers trolleys piled high and then find delay as they have not weighed their veg and fruit. A lot has been organised at the club on the run up to Christmas, yes it is coming around again. Don’t miss out, remember events are very popular so book early to avoid disappointment. From the beginning of this month it is just 86 days to Christmas!!!!! Terry Smith Editor Terry Smith Phone 951 276 690 Mobile 677 656 319 Email: terrysmith@siberme.com

Input from members for your magazine, interesting articles and experiences. Important information, funny stories, poetry, restaurant revues. These can be emailed to me or left at the clubhouse. 3

All kinds of sewing undertaken

Estepona Osteopathic Clinic

PAUL KNIGHT Bsc(Hons) Ost.

I will do all repairs and alterations

Specialist treatment for back, neck and limb injuries, children and expectant mothers.

I make curtains Dressmaking

Mobile: 625 957 673 1D, First Floor, 124, Avenida de Espa単a, Estepona

Upholstery of terrace furniture And even equine or pet accessories No job is too large or too small

Located immediately opposite the underground car park entrance, facing the sea.

Call Heidi on 606-237-757 heidi.manilva@gmail.com

TELAS & TELAS

A cut Above

The perfect place to shop for all your Household Goods Curtains & Materials etc.

The Friendly British Hair Salon Unisex Peluqueria For Every Day & Those Special Occasions 952 805 485 Ask For THERESA or SARA We are offering a promotion on Blow-dries, Shampoo and Sets for 12 Euros. Monday to Thursday OAP days are Monday and Tuesday Estepona Port Opposite Club Nautico

At the corner of C/ Sevilla & C/ Lopez de Mena behind the Bus Station in San Pedro Open Monday to Friday 10.00am to 2-00pm

Tel: 952 788 117 4

Presidents Letter October 2013 The nights are drawing in, it’s darker in the morning, which means.... The Autumn Fayre time is here again! I hope you will all come along and support it, either through entering the competitions or just having some fun. I am pleased to hear from the feedback that we have pleased most of you with the refurbishment that is almost complete. I always welcome constructive criticism but I realise that ‘you can’t please all of the people, all of the time!’ New members time is approaching and it’s up to us all to make people feel welcome as it can be a bit intimidating joining a new club – especially on a Thursday morning when there is so much going on. Prospective members can so easily be put off, so it’s up to us to look out for anyone looking ‘lost’. I am looking forward to celebrating the Club’s 25th Anniversary at Tikitano on the 2nd of November and I hope you will join me at what promises to be a most enjoyable event. Doug Obituary

Rosa Aspeslagh 5th April 1931 to 28th August 2013 She loved life and enjoyed living it She loved people and sought their company Now she has gone and many will! miss her But we are thankful! for the friendship she gave us Submitted by Diane Brice

Obituary THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT As many of you already know our lovely daughter Jain died on 3rd of August in Royal Marsden hospital at the age of 52 after a long fight against cancer. Although the Club was closed for August we were surprised how quickly the news spread among our many friends and we wish to thank all those who sent cards, E-mails and called to sympathize Support from friends is needed so much more when one is far away from family. Those of you who were at Frank´s 80th Birthday Party will remember how beautifully Jain sang for us. She loved to sing and often did "gigs", alone with her guitar and with a group. All the money she was paid went to charity. Whenever health allowed she ran in the annual Race for Life and in the last few years she was accompanied by her sister and my three granddaughters. Over the years they made thousands for Cancer research. A few weeks before Jain died she worked with her husband Tony to set up a special website with Cancer Research arranging for the money collected to go exclusively to research into oesophagus cancer (the type that killed her). The website opened on the day she died and by the time she was buried it had collected more than 3,000 pounds. They hope to raise 50.000 in a year´ and we are arranging to hold a big charity Concert in UK in the spring and also Tony is having a DVD of Jain´s songs recorded shortly for sale. Details of the website if anyone cares to donate: http:// donateinmemory.cancerresearchuk.org/0004222 Anne & Frank Hardwick 5

Bulletin

Board

BOOK LIBRARY: CAN MEMBERS PLEASE NOT SUBMIT HARDBACK BOOKS TO THE LIBRARY, PAPERBACKS WILL ONLY BE ACCEPTED. Returned books should be placed at the foot of the first half of the alphabet as designated - the librarian will then sort. DVD/VIDEO Library: Can members please ensure they sign for all borrowed films and add membership number, Please return films as soon as possible and sign as returned. Jigsaw Puzzles: There is a selection of jigsaw puzzles available stored under the video library. They are mostly 500 pieces, some 1,000. Glasses, cups etc: Please return to the bar before leaving the club. Please place used unbroken bottles carefully in bin provided, that is positioned under dartboard. Return plates & cutlery to the kitchen. Terrace Doors: Those people who open terrace doors are responsible for closing same. TRIP CANCELLATIONS MUST BE REFERRED IN FIRST INSTANCE TO THE ORGANISER

This Months Members Comments Received on An idea I have is a group like U3A. I have started a group called in3rdage on facebook and this is more educational for people to join. Talks on different subjects, can we hold talks at the club? Any members want to join in? Submitted by Anna Tandy Editor: This comment has been passed to committee for consideration and reply. Please feel free to add any comment regarding a past event or any other suggestion for future event or club issue on our

Learn to play Canasta or Mah-jong A club member is willing to give lessons in playing the above card games. If interested please add your name to the poster on the notice board and watch out for further details. Canasta (Spanish for "basket") is a card game of the rummy family of games. Mah-jong is a game that originated in China, commonly played by four players. Similar to the Western card game rummy, mah-jong is a game of skill, strategy and calculation and involves a certain degree of chance. Why not give it a try. Should you have suggestions for any event or activity at your clubhouse, or for a trip whether for a day or longer period, please contact a member of the committee.

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Vic Loughran

Peter Dowd

Monthly Computer Tips – October 2013 Backing up Your Data Many people only realise how important backing up data is when a disaster happens e.g. your computer “dies” or is stolen. Hopefully the following notes will help you avoid such a tragedy. What should I backup? Obviously you will need any important documents and files. On a Windows PC all your files are likely to be stored in folders under My Documents, My Pictures and My Music. If the whole of these folders are backed up then all your work should be safe. It should not be necessary to back up program files as these should be available on the original CD or can be downloaded via the internet. However, do make sure you have a record of any activation keys. If these were recorded in a word processor or spread sheet file and stored under My Documents, then these would be safe because they would be backed up. Methods: Incremental: Only backs up files that have changed. Windows Tip of the Month Whole backup: Backs up all files every time. Ctrl + U - Toggles Underline Where should I backup? On / Off The three main options are: USB Stick 16Gb £9 32Gb £15 64Gb £24 128Gb £60 256Gb £196 These are really not large enough to back up a whole hard disk but would be useful if there were individual important files you wish to protect. DVD / CD This is considered by some to be the “messiest” way of backing up and has limits of 4.7GB on DVD and 700Mb on CD. Also you can use a large number of disks unless you use rewritable ones. External Hard Disk These are almost limitless in the amounts of data which can be stored and are comparatively cheap. 500Gb for about £40 or 2Tb (that’s 4x 500Gb) for £70. Cloud Storage This is basically storing your data on a secure server on the internet. Some of the most popular offering free storage are Dropbox (2Gb), Microsoft Skydrive (7Gb), Google Drive (15Gb) Additional space is available for a charge from all three. One of the limitations of Free Cloud storage is a that only files up to 2GB in size can be uploaded. Again like using a USB stick it is probably only useful for saving individual files. Note: Skydrive is soon to be renamed as the result of a legal challenge by BSkyB >>Page 9 NEXT NOVICES COMPUTER MEETING FRIDAY 11th OCTOBER NEXT COMPUTER GROUP MEETING FRIDAY 18th OCTOBER

Remember the Computer Group meets at the Clubhouse on the third Friday of the month at 11.00am. No need to book – just turn up. We have WiFi broadband internet available, so why not bring your laptop / netbook / tablet etc. along. If you have any questions or suggested topics for future please email us vicloughran@siberme.com or peterdowd@siberme.com 8

<<8 How do I backup? To backup individual files manually by copying and pasting onto the backup media is a long laborious process. There are several free backup programmes which you can try to see which suits your needs. Some will automatically back up at regular intervals: Software Notes Download from AOMEI Backupper No auto backup (www.cnet.com) Cobian Backup Sophisticated (www.cnet.com) Backup Maker Easy with incremental backups (www.cnet.com) Paragon Backup and Recovery No obvious scheduling (www.filehippo.com) SyncBackFree Simple to use and set up (www.filehippo.com) Our recommendations: Buy an external hard disk. Download SyncbakFree from www.filehippo.com Set up SyncbackFree to create a backup file automatically every day or if you have a portable device manually connect to the backup media and manually execute the back up. But I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a PC, I have an iPad! No problem. Under Settings | iCloud there is an option to set iCloud Backup to On. Whenever you connect your iPad to the mains and it is connected to Wi-Fi, it should automatically back up your iPad. Alternatively there is an option to Backup Now

Annette’s Adventures Many a Mile, Her own words by Annette Louise Holmes A claim to be an independent women in my own right! Part 4 - My experiences in Bulgaria and Turkey So still planning my overland trip to meet Charles in Tehran. I conferred with my doctor over the necessary inoculations and vaccinations, asked for and was given special drugs to cope with possible emergencies such as severe food or water poisoning. I knew that I would have to combat intense heat 130°F during the day, and intense cold at night - also possible eye trouble from the constant desert dust which permeates through even tight closed car windows. I knew that it was wise to be totally self-sufficient in sleeping arrangements, food and water supplies, cooking facilities, car spares and a supply of high octane petrol, for the farther East one drives, the farther apart are places to stay and garages, all too often only weaker octane petrol is available. I was quite determined to stay fit, to arrive unscathed, and enjoy the drive fully. The AA suggested that the journey would take 12 days. In fact I was to do it in 7 days and a few hours despite one or two tedious hold ups at the frontiers of Turkey and Iran. On my arrival Charles was prompted to remark that perhaps I was a frustrated racing driver! My son kindly recorded some rather nice pieces of classical and modern music on tape for me and I found it wonderful to be driving completely alone through vast desert areas at sunrise listening to either Beethoven's piano concerts or Dvorak’s serenade. I was immensely happy. For the first time ever, I entered the country of Bulgaria. I knew nothing of this land except that it was a communist country. No one was able to tell me much about it, and the Embassy did not forward any real information either, except to inform me that a visa to cross their territory had to be paid for in cash and not by cheque. I was to find Bulgaria a rather sad country to be in - sad because the faces of the people, especially the women, were glum, worn and unhappy. Everywhere it seemed that people had control imposed on them. Secret police were constantly stopping local cars to enquire of the drivers where they were going and why - stopping them at random along the roads, searching their cars and even tapping them with screwdrivers in their hands. I cannot say what they were looking for. The one night’s stay I had in a hotel was spent uneasily. It was a cold, drab colourless place. I saw the secret policemen going through my passport and papers which I had been obliged to submit to the hotel reception office until I left. I noticed that my parked car was being carefully scrutinised and ’tapped’ and one man even got down on the ground to look underneath it, what was he looking for? I felt somewhat angry at this and wandered out to catch him unawares. He looked rather sheepish when I confronted him with the words ’can I help you?’ - a gesture of salute and he walked away without a word. Later I was to find that my much prized Singapore car badge had been torn off and I stormed into the hotel to demand the police be brought. There was the pretence of not understanding my plea but I found that quite suddenly everyone was anxious to please me and I was escorted to the dining room and attended to most courteously and quickly - quite unheard of in a country where I was told later that one could wait up to 3 hours for the meal one has ordered! It seemed that I had to be content reasonable service in exchange for my stolen badge. Once in my room preparing to settle down for the night I was twice called to the door in response to someone knocking on it. The first time I was confronted by a women who took hold of my colourful long evening skirt requesting fairly forcefully that she should have it. I was unprepared for this, and gestured as kindly as I could that the skirt would not fit her size. >>11 10

<<10 I was smaller than she was and I treated her with respect, bade her goodnight, and firmly closed the door, putting a chair beneath the catch since there was no lock on it. Later when I was ready for bed I was to open the door again, to the male receptionist who spoke some English. He came with a light bulb in his hand assuring me that he’d been given to understand that my room bulb had ‘blown’. I opened the room door a fraction wider to allow him to see that he was mistaken, when his conversation suddenly switched to his fiancé - could I suggest a present for her as it was her birthday the next day. I was immediately on my guard and suggested that for a loved one flowers were always acceptable if one was caught out at the last moment. No doubt he felt his opportunity slipping away and boldly suggested that I might have something I could sell him - a colourful garment perhaps? I remained cool and could only assure him that I was limited as to what I could take for my holiday, and sorry, I had nothing I wished to part with. The following morning at breakfast this same gentleman came to my to try once more, but to no avail. I passed it off lightly and refused to be involved. All the time I felt that eyes were watching, and I was glad to settle my bill and leave. I did notice that in Bulgaria all women were dressed in very drab coloured clothes and I felt sorry for them. There seemed to be no individuality anywhere. Perhaps the lack of colour in their lives contributed to their apparent sadness. I was later warned that for me to sell anything, or for Bulgarians to purchase from me, was illegal. Right across Bulgaria I was to see women grazing animals on leads along the highway in the early hours of the mornings, toiling with back-breaking loads of fuel, or working in the fields. They were also sweeping the streets in some places. At the petrol stations it was women who served me tersely demanding to see my petrol coupons before putting fuel in my car, and demanding payment for the use of a toilet before one was allowed to use it. Men, I noticed, were accorded this privilege freely - one could say this of many countries. Being a women alone in Turkey presented me with problems - if this can be called, of a somewhat different nature. The men were flirts and regarded me as fair game! The men there are generally tall and handsome in a swarthy way with smiling eyes and an engaging but often bold manner. It seemed as though far to many of them saw themselves as prospective Casanovas. I was amused, and had enormous fun with them. In one outlandish small Turkish town I arrived in the darkness at about 7.30pm, rather later than my usual stopping time after a days drive. It was at the time of yet another power cut, and the small hotel, barely worthy of the name, was in total darkness, except for the candle light glow in the tiny reception area. I had barely got out of the car before a hand was place under my elbow and I heard a warm greeting in my ear as I was ushered into the entrance. I felt that matters were getting out of hand and shook myself free asking to see the manager. The gentleman assured me by gesture and with an odd word of English that he was the manager. I tried to question him on room keys for I wished to see what rooms were available, but he either didn’t understand or ignored my questions and continued to lead me up a staircase. At the top of the stairs I was shown into a spacious room containing an enormous double bed. Candles were already burning on either side of the bed head, with great ceremony and with a wicked gleam in his eyes the manager showed me two pairs of slippers strategically placed. He said ‘Yours Mine’. Obviously the scene was set for some unsuspecting female to succumb to his dubious charms! I took in the situation swiftly and declared that the room would not do - sorry - there was no en suite and with that I grabbed my bag from his hand, ran down the stairs and quickly got into the car. As I sat in the safety of the car I was obliged to smile at the sheer nerve of the man! I knew then that I would have to continue driving through the night to reach the Iranian border, since there were no townships left for me to stop at. To be continued next edition 11

PAST EVENTS Thursday 22nd August - Club Lunch Out - Restaurant La Torre, Pedregales Poligono Its amazing! This restaurant never gets phased by the number of customers arriving and always welcoming. They cope very well with no extra staff, orders are taken swiftly and food arrives freshly cooked and hot. More expensive restaurants could probably learn something. A large contingent of members attended with guests, a great meal once again, good atmosphere, we can show the Spanish some noise! If you have not yet tried this restaurant it is to be recommended, just 8.50€ for three course menu del dia with a drink. And views of the country side, can’t be bad!!!!!! Gardening Club Meeting - Tuesday 10th September A group of 15 people met at the cafe in San Roque Railway Station at 11.30am. After obtaining our return rail tickets, and a coffee, we caught the 12.00 train to Benaojan. The journey was very enjoyable, as well as the beautiful scenery, it was an extra treat to see storks on their nests, vultures flying high in the sky and observing all the little stations on the way with their flower pots and pretty gardens. On arrival at Benaojan we had about a 10 minute walk to the Molino del Santo hotel/restaurant. I think everybody agreed it was an amazing venue to have our meal in. Two tables had been reserved outside on the shaded terrace with the sound of the gushing river behind us. >>13 NIGEL’S CLASSIFIED AD’S WANTED: AT THE CLUB A COMPUTER. Have you got a redundant computer you no longer in need of, preferably Windows Vista. Contact Vic or Terry at the club. FOR SALE: CHEST FREEZER, with 2 baskets, as new, 40€. Jo Webster. Tel: 952 807 027, Mobile: 672 628 711 FOR SALE: LARGE TOWNHOUSE in quiet walkway in centre of Estepona. 3 Double Bedrooms, bathroom, shower room, WC, Large sun room and garden on roof. For more info contact: Anne Hardwick, Tel: 952 808 318 FLAT TO LET (IN PRIVATE VILLA) Short Term Basis. Two bedrooms, living room/kitchen (open style), Shower room with two hand basins and toilet, also separate toilet room with wash basin. Private courtyard. Use of private pool. Close to Doncella Beach, near Port of Estepona in the Urbanisation of Seghers. 16E per day per person or 100€/200E a week to include all services. Dependent on season. For more Information, Please Telephone Barbara Salisbury 952 796 368 Email Address: salsbarb@yahoo.co.uk FOR RENT 2 CAR GARAGE SPACE 9 METRES IN LENGTH Edificio Acuario (across from Estepona Port Lighthouse), price negotiable. Maureen Baldwin-Winkle 952 791 812 12

PAST EVENTS <<12 The food was every much as good as its reputation, extremely tasty and very well presented. Most of us enjoyed the chef's 25 euro 3 courses, there was also the ala carte menu to choose from. We had time to wander around the grounds to look at the gardens, pots, artistic pieces, water features and most of all to look at the fast flowing river. The owners have certainly done a fine job with this old mill house. We all enjoyed this last Gardening meeting this year and look forward to the 2014 meetings. September's tip: To keep cut flowers fresh for longer, put a penny in the vase. The copper helps to kill bacteria. Submitted by Sandy Avis (photo Audrey Jinks) Friday 14th September - Ice Club Visit to the festival ‘ La Luna Mora’, Guaro What a great night, the weather was kind although earlier in the week rain had been forecast. Our driver Pepe had to get in a queue to be able to drop us, while he had to return to Coin to park. The candles were magical as usual with candles arranged in the shape of the hand of Fatima and crescent moons etc. A great atmosphere as usual with many families with small children who were having a great time on the carrousel which was propelled around by one man on a bike! The food stalls were groaning with hot and cold food making it hard to choose, we decided on rare roast beef and home made sausage, delicious. The restaurants were also packed and the bars were running out of glasses. There were craft stalls and street performers which carried on throughout the evening. At the School on the right as you enter the street they had the usual wooden puzzles and on the stage we saw a fashion show and after that a concert with Arab music. Many thanks to Bea for discovering this trip last year and for organising it again for us. Already looking forward to next year. Submitted by Joan Thompson Tim Taminiau wrote: The theatre show was quite amusing. Specially the old flamenco singer. A raw voice but still good and that is how it should be. A very strong voice for a person in the eighties! At least that's what he looked. An Arabic group (presume from Maroc) and an Andalusian, performed together, and that brought some interesting moments. Not all the songs were that good but all in all enjoyable. Special note for the auditorium de la Luna Mora, a real great place. Wednesday 18th September - Ladies and Gents Lunches Out After a long break the Juliet’s made a return visit to the Arroyo Hondo restaurant sitting on the outside terrace, luckily sheltered from the high wind on the day, and enjoyed the views. Everyone enjoyed the menu and special mention was made of the ‘To die for sweets’. A very good turn out of members. Well done and thanks to Maggie for the organising, her first and looking forward to further lunches. The Romeo’s, a boring lot, made a return visit to Restaurant La Torre and once again were not disappointed with quality of food at very reasonable cost, although I would say the chicken curry could do with some spicing up. We missed your scintillating conversation George!!!!!!! 13

OCTOBER EVENTS

PLEASE NOTE: TICKET SALES CLOSE 12.30pm ON THURSDAY MORNINGS. CORRECT MONEY PLEASE FOR EVENTS

PLEASE NOTE: EVENTS BOOKED AT CLUBHOUSE DO NOT INCLUDE A DRINK

October 1/2/3/4th - Trip to Madrid and Toledo 3 night, 4 day trip final cost 195€ members, 220€ guests per person for double room, 267€ members, 295€ guests for single occupancy. Visit to Valle de los Caídos (Valley of the Fallen) a Catholic basilica and monumental memorial in erected at Cuelgamuros Valley in the Sierra de Guadarrama, conceived by Spanish dictator Franco to honour and bury those who fell during the Spanish Civil War. Organiser Joan Thompson. Wednesday 2nd October - Stitch ‘n’ Bitch Friday 4th October - Quiz Night - Quiz Masters Ian and Lin Ingram Saturday October 5th - Terry & Bob’s Walking Treasure Hunt - Back to Estepona Devious competition set in the old town. First prize meal voucher. See page 9. Monday 7th October - Members Film Night - Lincoln Tuesday 15th October - ICE Autumn Golf Cup - see bottom of page and page 9. Saturday October 19th - Club Annual Autumn Fayre See front cover and pages 24 and 28 for further details. Organiser Doug Mitchell. Thursday 23rd October - Trip to Seville Visit to The Metropol Parasol see page 24this edition, and page28 of September edition. Or you can do your own thing. Time for lunch. Friday 25th October - Members Music Night The Broadway Sound, Prom Concert, organiser Anthony Shine Sunday 27th October - Club Open Day Open day for prospective members, tell your relations, friends and neighbours. The I.C.E Golf Society Autumn Cup - 15th October 2013 The I.C.E. Golf Society Autumn Cup social event is nearly upon us and if you haven't signed up yet I urge you to get your name down soon. If you are unable to visit the club but would like to play then contact me, as below, and all will be done. This is a great event to get to know like-minded people and although, as with any competition, there is a serious element the main focus is on having fun, hopefully in the sun. There will be: The Trophy, A new Ladies Trophy this year. A great range of prizes. A new comer’s award and, no doubt, a few private side wagers. The spectacular Valle Romano Golf Club and Resort is the venue at the fantastic price of 50€ including a shared buggy has been agreed. With gentlemen playing off of the blue tees and ladies off of the red this remains a challenging course. The green fee should be paid directly to the golf club when you arrive. Please note that, in consideration of the forth coming European Tour event at the beginning of November, buggies will not be allowed on the fairways and restricted to buggy paths only. Valle Romano reception will be open, and I will be there, from 07.45am to get you registered and ready for the shot gun start at 08.45am. You will need to pay me the usual 3€ entry fee. Why not arrive a little early and take advantage of the practice facilities! Any queries or clarifications required please, do not hesitate to contact me. Look forward to seeing you there. Alan Davis. Tel: 952 897 670, Mob: 699 712 804, e-mail alanandsue_hq@yahoo.co.uk ' Lunch at Restaurant Swing, 16€, organiser Doug Mitchell - See also page 9 14

OCTOBER 2013 DATE DAY 1 Oct Tue 2 Oct Wed

3 Oct Thu

4 Oct Fri 5 Oct Sat 6 Oct Sun 7 Oct Mon 8 Oct Tue 9 Oct Wed

10 Oct Thu

REGULAR EVENTS 11.00-2.00pm Bar Open & Tapas Spanish Classes Beg 10.30 Adv 11.45 7.00 for 7.30pm Whist 10.30am-2.30pm Bar Open 11.30am Weekly Meeting 1.00pm Lunch 2.30pm ICE Players 7.00pm Duplicate Bridge 10.00am - 1.00pm Art Group

EXTRA EVENTS 8.30pm Games and Social Night 2.30pm - 5.00pm Stitch and Bitch Madrid (Needlework etc.) & Toledo Trip

8.30pm Quiz Night Estepona Walking Treasure Hunt

7.30 for 8.00pm Film Night 2.30pm Committee Meeting

11.00am Additional Computer Meeting Only by prior arrangement and for Beginners ONLY!

11 Oct Fri

10.00am - 1.00pm Art Group

12 Oct Sat 13 Oct Sun 14 Oct Mon

12.30pm-2.30pm Bar Open & Tapas 2.30 - 5.00pm Art Class

15 Oct Tue

11.00-2.00pm Bar Open & Tapas Spanish Classes Beg 10.30 Adv 11.45

16 Oct Wed

7.00 for 7.30pm Whist

17 Oct Thu

10.30am-2.30pm Bar Open 11.30am Weekly Meeting 1.00pm Lunch 2.30pm ICE Players 7.00pm Duplicate Bridge

18 Oct Fri

10.00am - 1.00pm Art Group

8.30am Golf Autumn Cup at Valle Romano 11.00am Ladies' Book Club 2.30pm Golf Lunch 8.30pm Games and Social Night 1.30pm Ladies Lunch 1.45pm Gents Lunch

11.00am Computer Group

********CALENDAR CONTINUES ON PAGE 23******** EVENT MAY CHANGE , CHECK CLUB HOUSE NOTICE BOARD, ORGANISER OR STOP PRESS ON WEB SITE.

THURSDAY MEALS: MAIN COURSE 6€, SWEET 3€. TAKE AWAY MEALS AVAILABLE.

Member of

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El Rincon Toscano Restaurant Pizzeria Wine Bar Calle Real 22-26, Estepona Telephone 952-795914 Roberto 648 263 369 or Yuri 610 336 547 A little taste of Italy Come and enjoy the excellent cuisine and service provided by Roberto and Yuri Opening hours Lunch every day 1.30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4pm Dinner 7pm â&#x20AC;&#x201C; midnight Closed on Wednesdays 22

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12.30pm-2.30pm Bar Open & Tapas 2.30 - 5.00pm Art Class 11.00-2.00pm Bar Open & Tapas Spanish Classes Beg 10.30 Adv 11.45 7.00 for 7.30pm Whist 10.30am-2.30pm Bar Open 11.30am Weekly Meeting 1.00pm Lunch 7.00pm Duplicate Bridge 10.00am - 1.00pm Art Group 12.30pm-2.30pm Bar Open & Tapas 2.30 - 5.00pm Art Class 11.00-2.00pm Bar Open & Tapas Spanish Classes Beg 10.30 Adv 11.45 7.00 for 7.30pm Whist

Autumn Fayre 4.30pm Songs of Praise

Trip to Seville

8.00pm Music Night Club Open Day

10.30am-2.30pm Bar Open 11.30am Weekly Meeting & Lottery 1.00pm Lunch 2.30pm ICE Players 7.00pm Duplicate Bridge

Saturday 2nd November - Special Club NOVEMBER EVENTS 25th Birthday Celebrations Music Night Program Dinner at Restaurant Tiki Tano Estepona, 2013-2014 music performed by well known rocker Mel Williams. 30€ 29th Nov The Three Tenors members, 33€ guests. Coach poss. from Sabinillas (Concert in Rome) 20th Dec White Christmas Wednesday 6th November (Film for Christmas) Rambling season will start 6th November with the usual walk 2014 along the beach. Meet 10.30 at the club, lunch at Duquesa. 31st Jan The Flower Drum Song Organiser Sue Potter (Musical Film) 28th Feb A Star is Born Wednesday 6th November - Stitch n Bitch (Film Barbara Streisand) 8th, 9th & 10th November - ICE Players Production 28th Mar The Merry Widow ‘Old Time Music Hall’ A pie and pint at the Old Bull ‘n’ (Franz Lehar Stage) Bush. 25th Apr Annie (Musical Film) Monday 11th November - Members Film Night - Song For 30th May Chicago (Musical Film) 27th Jun Singing in the Rain Marion (Gene Kelly) Friday 15th November - Quiz Night - Quiz master Joan Thompson Wednesday 20th November - Ladies and Gents who Lunch Out. Saturday 23rd November - Themed Supper Evening - ‘Allo Allo’ Dress for Occasion. Wednesday 27th November - Trip to Rute - “El Belén de Navidad” Visit the chocolate factory, Anise and Jamon museums, Chocolate Statues. Time for lunch in the town. 23

Wednesday 11th December - Ramblers Christmas Lunch Restaurant La Torre Thursday 19th December - Christmas Lunch at Clubhouse Wednesday 25th December - Christmas Lunch Time at Clubhouse Meet your friends, have a drink, have fun. Club will be closed from 25th December until Thursday 2nd January New Year Away Would you like a few days away with friends. Jo-Anna Huisman is taking names of those interested in a trip to Chiclana Iberostar Hotel. See Jo-Anna Huisman if interested. Thursday 13th March 2014 - ICE Annual General Meeting EVENTS FOR YOUR DIARY

Vegetable Creations A different competition for our Autumn Fayre this year, I stole this idea from the week long Fayre that takes place in Alderney one of the Channel Islands. We always have some gorgeous flower arrangements but for people like me whose flowers always flop this is much simpler. All you need is some different fruits and/or vegetables and an active imagination! I have put some photos on the notice board and I think Terry has found some different examples. One photo I have put up is an image of a green dachshund, a pear for the head and a courgette for the body, 2 slices of mushroom for the ears. So girls and fella’s plenty of time to start with some creative thinking. Joan Thompson Other Activities: Darts, Tombola (Please make a donation), Hoopla, Art, White Elephant Stall, Stitch & Bitch, Bar Skittles, Golf, Baking Competition (Ladies and Gents classes), Flower Arranging, Photo Competition to include 3 classes: 1. Scenic Views, 2. Feathered Birds, and 3. Club Events. Bacon and Sausage butties on the day. Bar Open Bring your relations, friends and neighbours, Organiser Doug Mitchell Thursday 23rd October - Coach Trip to Seville. The first pickup will be at Sabinillas at 8.00 am as we will travel to Seville via the Ronda Road a coffee stop near Ronda then taking the road that was built for the Expo of 1992. Our stop in Sevilla will be at the Metropol Parasol the largest wooden structure in the world (see September Magazine) then members will be free to sightsee on the Red Top buses or take a trip on the River Guadalquivir the only navigable river in Spain. The Cathedral is worth a visit, also if you are feeling fit you can climb the steps of the Campanile (Bell Tower). My favourite visit is to the Alcazaber, next to the Cathedral, also known as the Archbishops Palace, where the stucco and tiles are similar to the Alhambra except the stucco here is in full colour. The gardens are full of beautiful trees and unexpected treasures. There are many tapas bars and restaurants in this area. The Plaza de Espana in the Maria Luisa Park was built in 1928 for the Ibero-American Exhibition, it was very shabby, but I believe it has now been repaired, the wall tiles depict provinces in Spain. There is also a moat and 4 bridges. We will go home on the motorway which bypasses Jerez and brings us to Algeciras so we will have driven in a circle bringing us back to the same stop where you picked up the coach. Tickets-- Members €15, Guests €18 Organiser Joan Thompson 952804799 mobile 653488030 24

Our Romantic Holiday. Dear friends, we had our romantic holiday at Hotel Cortijo Salinas, that you so kindly gave us for our 50th., at the beginning of September. Off we set on the Monday morning not really knowing what to expect, it sounded very rural, perhaps there would be lots of creepy crawlies etc, but no, after a lovely drive around Ronda and beyond the scenery was just fantastic. We booked into the hotel and when we saw our room and the view we felt so over whelmed that you should have sent us there. There were no rules or regulations just a lovely feeling of calm. We had a light lunch overlooking the lake with Zahara in the distance, not a sound could be heard, magic! After siesta we explored the hotel and surrounding buildings and were surprised to find a small bullring with pens to hold the bulls, although not our thing it was interesting, and had another view to die for. Having succumbed to a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;drinky pooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; before dinner we went to smarten up and heard bells outside, what a sight, one man, 2 sheep dogs and a hundred or so goats making their way home after grazing on the mountains. This we found happened every morning and evening, we're not sure if the goats like the bells but we could hear them from quite a long way. Dinner was set outside and the sunset was just going behind the mountains, changing colour all the time. It reminded us of sun downing in OZ with a bottle of wine, well you have to don't you!! The next day we set of to visit the white villages in the Sierra de Ronda, the countryside was like a patchwork as some had been harvested others had sunflowers and crops etc, just lovely. We found ourselves in Grazalema and it was coffee time, we found a coffee shop but we had to buy the cake in the shop opposite. Vic was in heaven, there was such a selection of cakes, we of course chose what seemed to be the biggest ones when they were on the plates, we tried to sit up tall pull our tummy's in and eat slowly, it didn't last long, nor did the cakes. There was a balcony in the village overlooking a valley which again was spectacular and a market!!! Oh joy I said, but do you know I didn't buy a thing, Vic bought jogging trousers which is a bit odd as he's never jogged in his life, watch this space. Off we go again taking the mountain road to Zahara de la Sierra, as before the views and flowers were everywhere, as we descended to the coast road I said wasn't that great, he said all I saw was the narrow, twisty road. When we arrived at Zahara we realised the village was built on a large mound and had a castle overlooking the lake and surrounding countryside, we didn't venture right to the top but there was a lookout point up a few!! steps, he should have put on his joggers at this point as after taking photos it was defiantly a jog back down or if you weren't careful a gallop. We then set of to circumnavigate the lake back to the hotel where we had a lovely lunch, Vic has found another lady he'd like to marry as the meals were very tasty. The siesta was much needed! All in all a wonderful break in a wonderful place in a wonderful hotel. Thank you all so very much. Margaret and Vic. PS: Try not to use Eveready as they're never ready, use Duracell!!! 25

Travel Abroad, Apps, Websites, Scams and Value for Money When planning a trip, air routes and hotels are probably the most searched for facilities. There are many tablet apps and website which assist in this. The following are have been found useful. Hotel Bookings: www.trivago.co.uk or the Trivago App is a good starting point. This will list hotels in the chosen venue and give summary of the prices offered by the main online hotel booking agencies. There are links to these booking agencies. Experience has shown that the most reliable booking agencies are ebookers, lastminute.com, booking.com, hotels.com, otels.com and expedia.com Some of these offer additional incentives e.g. Hotels.com offer one free night for every ten booked through the website. (For further potential savings see notes on Cashback websites below.) Airlines: My favourite is www.skyscanner.net or the skyscanner app which will show the lowest prices for your chosen route. These prices are usually those charged by the airlines. However again it might be worth comparing prices from a comparison site such as www.expedia.com and also check if booking via a cash back site will save you even more money. Car Hire Deals: Some of the best car hire deals can be obtained through comparison websites such as www.moneysupermarket.com and www.travelsupermarket.com. Having found the best deal, check with one of the cashback websites to see if you can get further savings. Cash Back Sites: If you were to use a cash back website such as Quidco (www.quidco.com) or Topcashback (www.topcashback.com) then additional savings can be made. These sites receive a referral fee from the booking company or airline and pass some of this onto the customer e.g. booking with Hotels.com via Quidco currently provides cash back of 10%. In order to receive the cash back you must register with the site and then go via the site to make your booking. The downside is that you will need a UK bank account into which your cash back will be paid. These sites also offer cash back on a wide range of other purchases. Note: Most of the websites mentioned above will also have Apps for smart phones and tablets but be aware that the apps do not always possess the full functionality available on the website. Holiday Scams, some of the ways that you can lose money when arranging or travelling on holidays. Misleading Travel Document sites: Those applying for a new passport need to take care not to get caught out by copycat websites. These sites, which offer basic information about the passport application process, often look convincing. But while they can appear to be the official agency, they will charge a premium for their services, with some reported to charge up to £40 for information that is available free online. UK Passport renewal can be processed at www.gov.uk/renew-adult-passport. Application is free but the passport fee is £72.50. In a similar scam, holidaymakers are warned not to use sites which charge a fee for the European Health Insurance Card (EHIC). The card entitles all EU travellers in the European Economic Area to medical treatment provided by that country. This will be the same level of medical care eligible to nationals of the country you're in, and may be provided for free – or at a reduced cost. UK Nationals can obtain it for free online at www.ehic.org.uk. Do not to be fooled by sites offering to arrange your visa for the US. Most EU travellers can enter the US for up to 90 days on the visa waiver programme. It only costs $14 (£9.09) and can be accessed online at https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov Book with any of the 'official-looking' sites, and you can pay up to £60 extra per person. Many other sites offering to obtain visas for other countries at highly inflated prices. On a recent cruise I met someone who had paid £200 for a tourist visa for India. The official site charges £50. To summarise: be wary of sponsored links on search engines such as Google – the links are usually highlighted at the top of your search results page – and always check official pages. Submitted by Peter Dowd - To be continued next month 26

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Gas Service/Installation All plumbing requirements Tiling Home Refurbishments Painting, inside & out General repairs and maintenance to your home & garden or pools Anything from a complete bathroom to a curtain pole or a light fitting. No job too small and all at realistic rates. 35 Years experience. UK Corgi & ACOPS Reg. Telephone for a free, prompt and efficient service on: 650 884 147 or 952 891 619. e-mail: gplocke6@hotmail.com

Anglican Church of Costa del Sol (West) Each Sunday we hold Services as follows: San Pedro at 10.15am In the hall adjoining Parroquial Virgen del Rocio (Near McDonalds)

Sotogrande at 11.45am In La Iglesia Sra. de la Merced, the "Big Church"

Coffee Morning each Tuesday in Sabinillas from 11am In La Vicente Square, behind the taxi rank

Home Groups take place every week Everyone is welcome For further details contact: Roger Richards 952 891 765 27

THIS MONTH AUTUMN FAYRE RECIPES

Gents Competition - Brownies

100g (4ozs) Margarine 50g (2ozs) Plain chocolate 175g (6ozs) Dark soft brown sugar 2 medium Eggs beaten 1 x 2.5 ml (1/2 teaspoon) Vanilla essence Pinch salt 100g (4ozs) Self raising flour 50g (2oz) chopped walnuts Method: Heat oven to 180C - 350F - gas mark 4. Grease a tin 28x18 cm (11x7inch). Melt the margarine and chocolate over hot water. Remove from heat and cool. Stir in sugar and add eggs, mixed with vanilla essence. Mix in flour, salt and nuts. Pour the mixture into the tin and bake for about 25-30 minutes, Leave in the tin until cold before cutting into squares..

Ladies Recipe - Easy Fruit Cake

350g (12ozs) Mixed dried fruit 100g ( 4ozs) Caster sugar 100g ( 4ozs) Butter or margarine 150 ml (1/4 pint) Water 1 Medium egg 225 g (8 ozs) Self raising flour Method: Heat oven to 150 C, 300 F gas mark 2. Grease an 18cm (7 inch) cake tin Place fruit, sugar, marg and water in a pan, simmer slowly with lid on for 20 minutes Allow to cool, then add beaten egg and stir in the flour. Pour into prepared tin and bake for about 11/2 hours. This competition asked for a two-line rhyme with the most romantic first line, and the least romantic second line. And the winner is……………….. 1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife….Marrying you has screwed up my life. 2. I see your face when I am dreaming……….That's why I always wake up screaming. 3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot…………...This describes everything you are not. 4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss…But I only slept with you 'cause I was p….d. 5. I thought that I could love no other………..That is until I met your brother. 6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you….But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. POETRY 7. I want to feel your sweet embrace…………But don't take that paper bag off. CORNER 8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes...Damn, I'm good at telling lies! 9. My love, you take my breath away………...What have you stepped in to smell this way? 10. My feelings for you no words can tell……Except for maybe 'Go to hell.' 11. What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime. WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING? Submitted By Joanna Mitchell

Food For Thought Submitted by Rosemary Ferguson ‘Discrimination over important things is not snobbery’ 28

OPTICA MACHIN English Optometrist now available for consultation on the Costa del Sol.

Jane Staunton Machin BScMB Optom CNOO Av. Litoral – Ed. Vistamar Blq. 2 – Local 1 29680 ESTEPONA MALAGA Tel: 952 806 813 Full Eye Examinations: Glaucoma Screening: Designer & Non-Designer frames & lenses: Sunglasses: (prescription & non-prescription) Domiciliary Visits: (by appointment) Contact Lens Fitting. www.opticamachin.com

PUZZLE PAGE

Who is this rather elegant lady? See the editor to claim your drink at the bar!

QUIZ………………………Answers on page 34 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

In what sport did Jamaica compete at the 1988 Winter Olympics? Stranger On The Shore by Acker Bilk, the biggest-selling single of 1962, was a piece written for which instrument? Who was the Best Supporting Actress in the 2013 Oscars? What is the name given to the hybrid offspring of a male tiger and a lioness? The name of what type of pasta comes from the Italian for ‘ridged’?

5 3 2 4

8 7 1

Word

5 8

2 7

5 9

7 1 6

Find the 9 lettered word & see how many words of 4 letters & over you can make using the centre letter in all words and each letter only once.

4 9

8 4 6

B E T R U T H E C

Grid

3 4

Answer at bottom of page 38

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General Information Coach trips: See trip information for times. Please ensure that you sit in the seat numbered on your ticket. We regret that we cannot stop at any other point unless agreed with organiser, to pick up or put down. The organiser reserves the right to refuse to include any member they feel is not sufficiently able-bodied to follow the itinerary. Members are responsible for their own travel insurance. Buying your ticket: Please produce your membership card together with the correct money. Have prepared your choice of menu if applicable. Final ticket booking: All tickets must be booked and paid for on or before the last Thursday coffee morning before the event. Late phone bookings cannot be accepted. Members are advised to attend the last Thursday before a trip in case there are any last minute alterations. Refunds: Cannot be given for either deposits or tickets, unless the organiser is notified in time, always providing the trip is full and a replacement can be found from the waiting list. Tickets are not transferable to other members without authorisation of the organiser. Tips: Included in the cost of coach travel and restaurants, but not for hotels. Smoking: The smoking of tobacco and any other substance should not be permitted anywhere in or on the premises of The International Club of Estepona, Bahia Dorada. Dogs: Dogs are not allowed inside the clubhouse. They are permitted on the lower terrace but only when they are under the owners control by being attached to a lead which is held by the owner or attached to one of the hooks on the wall which are provided for that purpose. Club magazine by post: If you leave Estepona for longer than a month, your magazine can be posted. Please hand stamped envelopes (correct stamps in Euros), to Terry Smith. On the reverse, please write the months you wish to receive, they will be posted to you as soon as they are issued.

Parking: When visiting the club please park considerately between white lines and never on yellow lines. ACTIVITY ORGANISERS Advertising Manager Art Group Books Bowls Bridge…”Duplicate” Computer Group, Posters Film Night Gardening Group

Jackie Simmonds Regina Stall Peter Galloway Reg Astle Tim Taminiau Vic Loughran Sue Potter Sandy Avis Pamela Shine Alan Davis Margaret Hall Krista Carter

Golf Organiser ICE Players (Drama Group) Ladies Book Club Ladies Lunches Margaret Whittley Lottery Organiser Mavis Tolfree Music Night Anthony Shine Quiz Night, Songs of Praise, Art Class Joan Thompson Rambling Sue Potter Spanish Lessons Martin Holmes Stitch & Bitch Nina Taminiau Ticket Sales Joanna Mitchell Ticket Sales Jackie Simmonds Ticket Sales Patricia Smith Ticket Sales, Jo-Anna Huisman Videos Roger Richards Whist Ian & Lin Ingram

652 798 107 663 557 738

952 797 921 952 794 270

637 148 660 697 941 869 699 712 804 634 273 194 696259644 627 143 345 697 941 869 653 488 030 637 148 660 607 963 254 652 798 107 677 656 319 637 142 284 669 661 660

951 277 113 952 886 772 952 892 386 952 897 309 951 272 360 952 897 670 951277240 951 972 577 952 792 454 951 272 360 952 804 799 952 892 386 952 892 163 951 277 113 952 897 977 952 797 921 951 276 690 956 796 675 952 891 765 952 796 150

PRESIDENT VICE-PRESIDENT SECRETARY TREASURER MAGAZINE EDITOR CATERING MANAGER BAR MANAGER PUBLICITY OFFICER MEMBER MEMBER

CLUB COMMITTEE Doug Mitchell 667 998 800 Jo-Anna Huisman 637 142 284 Joan Thompson 653 488 030 Ted Lunniss 608 601 230 Terry Smith 677 656 319 Brenda Taylor 654 579 492 Sue Potter 637 148 660 Margaret Whittley 627 143 345 Beatrice Sykes 677 654 479 Julie Wood 639 542 387 NON COMMITTEE POSTS Nigel Nevshehir 689 457 410

LOCAL KEY HOLDER (If available) MAINTENANCE MANAGER HOUSEKEEPER MEMBERSHIP SECRETARY

Rob Potter Vacancy

671 725 243

952 897 977 956 796 675 952 804 799 952 923 892 951 276 690 952 805 739 952 892 386 951 972 577 951 972 724 952 913 174 952 791 449 952 892 386

697 941 869 951 272 360 & Pamela Shine ASST BAR MANAGER Mike Whittley 627 143 345 951 972 577 AUDITOR Ron Pegrum 680 718 990 952 891 175 ASST. TREASURER Vic Loughran 952 886 772 WELFARE: Members are requested to notify our welfare officer, Barbara Salisbury if they know of any member who is ill. 952 796 368, email salsbarb@yahoo.co.uk HOSTESS : Introduce new members : - Maureen Baldwin-Winckle 952 791 812 Anthony

MAGAZINE ADVERTISING RATES AS FROM 1ST JANUARY 2011 For adverts presented in desired layout, includes inclusion on our web site with links to your site if applicable. Classified Ads: Members Only, Free Quarter page - 6€ per month - colour 7€ per month Half page - 12€ per month- colour 14€ per month Full page - 24€ per month - colour 28€ per month (Discounts:- for 6 months 10%, and for the whole year 20%) PLEASE NOTE: Colour is only available to inside front and rear cover pages and rear cover, also adjacent to centre pages. THERE WILL BE AN EXTRA CHARGE FOR SETTING UP ADVERTS Advertising fees to be prepaid before the 20th of the month to:Jackie Simmonds, the Advertising Manager, Tel. 952 797 921 or 652 798 107 Copy to be in before the 15th of any month, for inclusion in the following month’s issue. Copy can be e-mailed to: - terrysmith@siberme.com ICE (Siberme) accepts no responsibility for contents of any advertisement appearing in this magazine. INTERNATIONAL CLUB OF ESTEPONA (Siberme) I.C.E. Clubhouse, Urbanisation Bahia Dorada, Entrada 5, at Km. 149, A 7, Estepona 29680 Malaga

Clubhouse: Telephone 952 802 549 ICE Web Site: www.siberme.com 33

JUST FOR A SMILE Ode to The English Plural We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and there would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim! Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. Why is it writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop? When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Puzzle page answers: Quiz 1.Bobsledding. 2. Clarinet. 3. Anne Hathaway. 4. Tigon. 5. Rigatoni. Word grid; 9-letter word - TREBUCHET 34

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