trials. Another wrestled with her five-year-old’s penchant for setting fires in his closet. One co-worker never left a tip at the local café at lunch; he’d put a quarter in the slot machine by the door, pull the handle and leave. It was understood that whatever (if anything) came out belonged to the waitress. I never heard of a waitress thanking him. My employer was located not too far off of The Strip, and we could always tell when there was a large convention in town – the tourists would get older, whiter, jowlier. Once when a large Baptist convention was held, the streets were swept of prostitutes for the duration. (Prostitution is a misdemeanor in Clark County. I often wondered why in God’s name the Baptists chose Las Vegas as a meeting spot in the first place, though.) Even if you live far away from The Strip, there’s a certain seediness that seeps though into everyday life: television commercials with the equivalent of Honey Boo Boo exhorting you to visit a furniture store (“I’ve been in Vegas long enough to know – you go where the money is!”). Articles in magazines tout the “glamour and panache that is the Las Vegas showgirl”. Driving to work I’d occasionally encounter casting calls outside a talent agency, lines of tall lean women with way too much makeup, preening. We took advantage of the low-priced meals targeted to casino visitors, though not often; the caloric load was just too high. To this day, we laugh about the ridiculous “All You Can Eat Shrimp” meal we once had, egging each other on until we had to be rolled out to the sidewalk. (All one of us has to do is say “shrimp boats!” and we still giggle like schoolgirls.) And we discovered possibly the best kept Las Vegas secret, just outside of town – Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area. Red Rock is the antidote to too much neon. A day spent hiking in Red Rock leaves you emotionally refreshed, and disbelieving that it could be so close to Las Vegas. Now please don’t think I dislike my former city of residence – far from it. Even living there, it was hard to take it all in. It’s just too fast, shiny, absurd…the Mirage casino was aptly named, it all seems like a shimmer and a fantasy. There is nothing like it in the world, and it’s kind of ironic that so many of its casinos evoke other locations – Renaissance Italy, Egypt’s Pyramids, New York City, Paris, Mandalay Bay. Visit Las Vegas and see the world.
April 2013 • Bohemia • 5