HUMOUR
‘KIDS GONE, MIND GOING’
K
ids. They grow up so fast. Yeah, yeah... whatever. That was my feeling about this overused cliché – that was of course until my own children left home.
Never again will I mentally roll my eyes and nod politely should this classic but poignant phrase be brought up in conversation... Why? Because it’s true! In fact it is inevitable. Kids do grow up, and it would seem I need to as well. I’m almost embarrassed to admit how immature and ‘Hollywood dramatic’ my reaction was to their leaving. My daughter Alyce was the first to go, and quicker than you can say ‘Stop crying and smelling her pillow – it’s just weird,’ her brother left too! If you think I’m joking about the pillow sniffing episode… think again. The madness didn’t end there either. I made my son’s lunch for weeks after he and his partner moved into their new home. You know, just on the off chance a bemused David might be standing in his kitchen staring at a loaf of bread. In saying that, visits were made and lunches were picked up – if only to avoid hurting my feelings. Seriously, I managed to make Joan Crawford look like Mother Theresa! Ridiculous behaviour? You bet. So is suddenly doting on and dressing up your two Chihuahuas. Treating them like a couple of foster children recently assigned to your care. Although I think that’s more a combination of my need to nurture and good old fashioned boredom. There are only so many hats you can put on a dog. It’s nine by the way. Let’s just say the ‘Offspring Exodus’ really threw me. Apparently it’s the best time of your life according to those experts, the ...“empty nester veterans” and (believe it or not) people
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Christine Basil regularly performs at The Comedy Club. Check the website for future dates. who have never actually been parents! Typical comments like ‘It’s a great opportunity for you and your husband to rediscover the things you had in common.’ THE ONLY THING WE HAD IN COMMON WAS THE KIDS, AND THEY’RE GONE NOW! Or, ‘just think, now you and Gary can have uninterrupted conversation’. About what? Surely after 28 years we’ve pretty much covered everything? At the moment we are adjusting. We were never big on talking to each other… that’s the beauty of Foxtel. It speaks on our behalf. Plain and simple. I figure it’s a normal, healthy transition that may take a while to get used to. Both kids only live about 20 minutes away. The apples haven’t fallen far from the tree… Pink Lady’s are on special this week - their favourite! I might just take them a bag each. I’m going in that direction anyway. Honest. CHRISTINE BASIL – Stand up Comedian