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Omodolapo Jega’s death: Who is really to blame? Readers React hidden, the erring person has been given license to continue in wickedness. This story is a lesson to all to handle issues without sentiments. Also, as Christians, always read between the lines and when your pastor or leader errs, don’t cover it up. Call his attention to it. Leadership should always be by example. May God take care of her children.”
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couple of weeks ago, I carried the pathetic story of Late Omodolapo Olotu Jega who wrote a heartwrenching letter on her death bed to the husband she claimed heartlessly abused her and was the source of the cancer that killed her. This was followed the next week by her father ’s tear-jerking oration at her graveside. In spite of the fact that I pleaded with readers to wait for the dad’s oration to be published before re-acting, a lot of you promptly did so immediately they read the first story. Fola Ajidagba, an older friend and a regular ‘critic’ of this column was almost in tears when he called my mobile to react to what he termed “a wicked and heartless treatment of an innocent and almost naive woman” and promised to make sure one or two women close to him learn from Dolapo’s experience. Here are a few reactions from the loads I ot from you readers:
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ou advised readers to wait till you publish the grave-side oration of the dad,” wrote Kayode Abegunde, “I doubt if that will add or subtract from my view. (I) If Omodolapo had spent a tenth of the time she spent monitoring her husband’s numerous girlfriends on her health, she may still be alive today. (2) As a Christian, she failed to depend on God for her plight. (3) The WHOLE world except Obama were of the view that NGOZI IWEALA (a woman) was the most qualified for the post of the President of the World Bank. (4) Dora of NAFDAC is a woman, so why should Omodolapo lose her sleep for not having a male child; (5) She did not love herself. Instead of attending to her
Gender Roles All Mixed Up ... Until lt Comes To Sex n this modem age, men and women are increasingly happy to adopt the habits of the other sex. But it seems there is one area where we are determined to stick to gender stereotypes, even if it means lying. A study has found that chaps still want to be seen as ‘ real men’, the kind who boasts of having had many sexual partners no matter what the truth. Women, meanwhile, prefer to be seen as having less sexual experience than they actually have, to match what is traditionally expected of them. The research by Ohio State University found that men and women will fib about sex to meet cultural expectations, but otherwise will freely admit where they fail to adhere to classic stereotypes. Women, for example, will admit to the masculine vice of telling each other rude jokes, while men will confess to the more feminine pastime of writing poetry. The study of 293 students aged 18 to 25, reported in the journal Sex Roles, found that men who were connected to what they thought was a working lie detector claimed to have had fewer sexual partners than when they weren’t. For women, the reverse
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health, she was busy reading her husband’s mail. That is enough to render her drugs impotent.”
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nyii Nwosu-igbo wrote: “A friend has just drawn my attention to your column on Sunday, the 4th of August and the emotional funeral oration of the bereaved father of late Dolapo. The concept of marriage has radically changed. Marriage, unknown to many people, is like any other contract. But it is sui generis. It is sui generis in the sense that unlike ordinary contract, the law determines how you enter into it and also how you dissolve it. Dolapo badly approached it with too much emotion. Marriage has since changed for the worst. From your account, it is clear that Dolapo was too innocent, if not naive, to understand this. She stayed tragically too long in that relationship. All the signs that Noble (her husband) was not good for her were starring her in the face but she still refused to quit. What was at stake was her life. Her church had nothing to do with it. Marriage is not a
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OUR column to express your loving thoughts in words to your sweetheart. Don’t be shy. Let it flow and let him or her know how dearly you feel. Write now in not more than 75 words to: The Editor, Sunday Vanguard, P.M.B. 1007, Apapa, Lagos. E.mail: sunlovenotes@yahoo.com Please mark your envelope: “LOVE NOTES"
My everything You magnify my happiness When I am feeling glad; You help to heal my injured heart
‘do or die’ matter. She listened to her church and paid dearly for it. “Pastor” Noble Jegha is a very heartless man, going by the account published in your column. But remember that there are women who are as bad if not worse. Some abandon their sick husbands and turn the hearts of children against their father. Some begin to misbehave when the material circumstances of their husbands take a downward turn. My heart, thoughts and prayers are with the distraught family of Dolapo and the children she left behind. May Almighty God grant her that peace and love which eluded her on this earth ... “ ohanye from Abuja believes that “ ... her parents killed her. She left her abusive husband and travelled out of this country, settled elsewhere and was doing well for herself but her parents pleaded with her to take her husband back after he almost killed his own blood sister, defrauded his bank, stole money from both her mother and cousin. Did Dolapo’s father assume Oti would change his character? As far as I am concerned, Dolapo’s parents are 90% responsible for her
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death. The only way they can make Dolapo rest in peace is to try whatever they can to get custody of their three grandchildren before Oti starts sleeping with them or sell or kill them. As for Oti, the devil, he will get his just reward very soon.”
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er incredible Obituary notwithstanding”, wrote Emeka from Enugu, “we challenge her husband to react to his late wife’s out pouring for a balanced third party view.” “I’m a man and pained by Oti’s heartlessness towards his wife,” wrote Patrick. “May he receive 10 folds the torture he put his wife through. 1 pray God to see this woman’s children through to adulthood and may they not marry a man like their father...” “It was so heart-rending reading Dolapo’s story from the dead, and her father’s oration too,” wrote Jumoke Oyelese. “I think naming the church would help people in similar situation or near similar ones. When the name of the church is
was true. Psychology professor Terri Fisher, the author of the study, said: ‘There is something unique about sexuality that led people to care more about matching the stereotypes for their gender. ‘Sexuality seemed to be the one area where people felt some concern if they didn’t meet the stereotypes of a typical man or a typical woman.’ All Night Long? (Humour) wo sixty-year old men are chatting over their lunch in the works canteen. Fred grins at his mate and says, “ you know George, I made love to my wife three times last night.” “Never!” exclaims George, “how did you manage that?” “It was easy really. I made love to her once, then slept for half an hour, then I woke up and made love to her again, had another 30 minutes sleep and made love to her the third time.” “Now!” says George, impressed, “that sounds good, I think I’ll do the same.”
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o that night George gets into bed, makes love to his wife and turns over to sleep for half an hour. He wakes up, makes love again and goes back to sleep. 30 minutes later, he wakes up once more, makes love and falls asleep. In the morning, he wakes up in a panic to realise he’s 45 minutes late for work. He throws on his clothes, skips breakfast and rushes down to the factory. As he gets to the gates, the boss is standing there looking very angry. “Sorry I’m late boss,” he gasps, “give us a break. I’ve worked here for 40 years and I’ve never been late before. Come on, it’s only 45 minutes.” The boss replies in disbelief. “45 minutes! Where were you yesterday, and the day before?”
Whenever I am sad. You’re such a pleasure in my life; I hope that you can see How meaningful your friendship is; You’re a total joy to me. Cent Obama centobama@gmail.com +2348061379003
They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality.
Women
Everything about you added up to a perfect illustration of the word LOVE. The best love asset any mortal can acquire. No wonder when you rotate around my mind, 24 hours you make my day because you inhabit and occupy the very depth of my heart. I will always treasure and cherish you. Akachukwu Ferdinand, aka5forever85@gmail.com, 08063819314
Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top ofthe tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't so good but easy. So, the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality y they y are amazing. g
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