THE NEW DOMESTICITY
the
NEW DOMESTICITY
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d o o h r e h t o Beautiful M
By Julianna Lawson
Poised on top of the kitchen table, I slowly turned while my mother measured the hem of my new dress. The whimsical hunter green calico brushed against my bare legs with each turn, and I watched in awe as my mother whipped straight pins in and out of the fabric, deftly storing the extra pins between her teeth. Finally, she lifted her shining eyes and said, “All done!” I twirled on tip-toes and felt beautiful. And in that moment—as in countless others—my mother was especially beautiful to me, too.
Several years later, while studying Women’s History at Washington State University Vancouver, I wrote a paper on the beauty associated with motherhood. I was specifically interested in how mothers were portrayed in literature through the eyes of their daughters. Not surprisingly, beauty was represented in many different ways. Sure, mothers with soft skin and classy wardrobes were considered beautiful. But they were also stunning—and often more so—when they exhibited strength of character. In anticipation of Mother’s Day, I recently asked a number of friends via Facebook to share about their own mothers: “What made your mother beautiful in your eyes?” The overwhelming response floored me. These women had a lot to say, and it was apparent that beauty marks a child’s mind in many ways. It was inspiring. We women don’t need to fret and fuss in order to “make” ourselves beautiful. Rather it is in honestly, patiently, and humbly nurturing our most pure selves that we reveal and model for our watching children the meaning of true beauty.
B: Bearing
One way in which a woman exhibits grace and elegance is simply in how she carries herself. In her book, “Mother Carey’s Chickens,” Kate Douglas Wiggin writes, “Nothing could wholly mar the gracious dignity of her face and presence. Her fine height, her splendid carriage . . . her bright eye and fresh color all bespoke the
happy, contented, active woman . . . .” My friend Carol remembers the same thing of her mother: “She always had an air of dignity in how she looked and acted.”
E: Endurance
Of the mother in “National Velvet,” Enid Bagnold writes, “She knew all about courage and endurance, to the last ounce of strength, from the first swallow of overcome timidity.” Endurance reveals itself in many ways, be it in the mundane daily acts or the larger life sacrifices a mother makes. This is what stands out in Stacie’s mind, too. “Strength in adversity are what I think of that made [my mother and grandmother] appear glorious to me.” Amy also acknowledges her mother’s patience: “Even though it may not have been enjoyable for her, she would take the time to learn about our interests.”
A: Action
Often it is a mother’s creative actions that reveal her beautiful nature: A vase of flowers on the mantel, a chocolate on each child’s pillow, a message on the bathroom mirror, a song sung while working, a listening ear. Emily recalls, “My mother made everything beautiful,” from a dinner table complete with tablecloth and napkins, to her own stylish toilette. Kelly, likewise, remembers the special touches her mother made, like “the decorations on my Strawberry Shortcake birthday cake . . . my curly hair made with her hot rollers . . . the ribbons sewed on my Easter dress.”
U: Unselfishness
My own mother says of her mom, “What made your Noni beautiful in my eyes was that she was so very selfless. She never put herself first, ever.” This was a prevalent theme as I read my friends’ responses. Valerie, likewise, notes, “My mom set aside her own preferences and tastes in order to see that we were taken care of . . . she was busy pouring her beauty into 5 little girls.” continued on next page
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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2017