October 2012 by Vancouver Family Magazine

Free October 2012

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HELP YOUR CHILD PREVENT SPORTS INJURIES THIS SEASON

MONEY SMARTS

FOR WOMEN

FOOD ALLERGIES What every parent needs to know

Are you ready to date after a

DIVORCE?

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

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contents

October ’12

FEATURE ARTICLES

Food Allergy 101 A primer for all parents

Dating After Divorce How to prepare for and find a great relationship after divorce

Preventing Sports Injuries in Kids

Food Allergy 101

Smarts 12 Money for Women

Dating After Divorce

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

IN EVERY ISSUE 6

Editor’s Notes

Parenting Perspectives Healthy fare vs sweet treats: Find the balance

Your Money's Worth Money smarts for women

Calendar of Events & Activities

ON THE WEB •

Enter for a chance to win a one month family pass to Clark County YMCA

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Unexpected cold and flu remedies

•

Throw a tween Halloween party

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

EDITOR'S NOTES

Vancouver fa mily magazine It’s harvest time! © Photo courtesy Leah Remillet

The literal fruits of our labor are in ready supply, and provide the tastiest and healthiest parts of our daily nutrition. While I claim no green thumb, the very few fruits or veggies I have grown have been a great source of pride, even when

Volume 11, Issue 10 Publisher

Julie Buchan julie@vancouverfamilymagazine.com (360) 882-7762

Editor

Nikki Klock nikki@vancouverfamilymagazine.com (360) 882-7762

Contributing Writers

Janine Boldrin, Justin Farrell, Dana Greyson, Julianna Lawson, Davi Nabors

Calendar Submissions

I didn’t enjoy the sometimes frustrating process of learning

calendar@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

to grow them. I once had a cucumber plant die within hours

Cover Photo Submissions

of transplanting it from one spot of my yard to the next. I was

coverkids@gmail.com

discouraged and annoyed. But the nearby tomato plants, safe in

Vancouver Family Magazine is published monthly by Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC

their pots of store-bought, perfectly black soil, thrived, making

Address: PO Box 820264 Vancouver, WA 98682

up for the cucumber loss, at least in the long run. I can’t help but think about parenting the same way. The great times make every frustrating moment worth it. I’m no expert, and the task of raising a human being is daunting, but the fruit of that hard labor is unlike anything I will ever taste. For more rants, raves, and reasons to get up in the morning, check out my blog at www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com/ blog.html

Tel: 360-882-7762 Fax: 360-852-8171

Copyright 2002-2012. All rights reserved. No portion of Vancouver Family Magazine may be reproduced without the written permission from the publisher. Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC and staff do not recommend or endorse any service, product, or content represented in this magazine or on our website. The sole purpose of this publication is to provide information on available services and/or products. It is the consumer’s responsibility to verify the accuracy of information given. Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC , and/or Julie Buchan and Nikki Klock and staff do not assume and disclaim any liability to any party for any loss or damage caused by error or omission in this magazine or on our website. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

On the Cover:

Nikki Klock, Editor nikki@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Chad R., eighth-grader at Pacific Middle School in Vancouver, plays his favorite sport, lacrosse, through SW Washington Lacrosse. Photo by Scarlette Richards at www.byscarlette.com

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Best of

2013 VANCOUVER

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

PARENTING PERSPECTIVES

By Justin Farrell and Julianna Lawson

Two local parents sound off about life, parenting, and relationships. PARENTING PERSPECTIVES the truce of the battle of the sexes

Question: Your son proudly sticks out his tongue, which has turned a horrifying shade of green. And it’s not from eating too much spinach. How do today’s parents find a balance between the healthy foods we know our kids need and the not-so-healthy, tongue-tinting treats they crave?

HE SAID Organic, gluten-free, locally grown, no pesticides, no MSG, reduced sugar, no high fructose corn syrup, cow's milk = bad, breast milk is the best milk, five food groups good, five food groups bad. These are just a few of the many messages that exist in the world of advertising for food products. At times it can be a challenge to sift through these messages to eat healthy for ourselves, not to mention the hungry mouths that sit at our tables. When you add in the convenience factor due to how overscheduled many of us are, trying to balance healthy eating, which takes longer to prepare, with less healthy food which can be made quickly, becomes the ultimate battle.

the other simply won't solve the problem. Kids today get less and less time in P.E. classes and play more video games than any preceding generation. Fast, convenient food is more readily available than ever before as well. As parents, how do we teach and emphasize both to our children? Living in the Pacific Northwest gives us great opportunities to kill two birds with one stone. Most of our neighborhoods have naturally growing fruit such as apples or blackberries that are within walking distance. Our backyards have soil that is prime for gardens. My family frequently walks to a nearby blackberry bush where we pick berries to bring home and mix in yogurt (sugar-free of course!) or eat as snacks. We also have planted a small garden where our children enjoy going out to pick blueberries, raspberries, tomatoes, green peppers, and broccoli. Not only does this help them learn healthy eating habits, but they can be active, have fun, and we can all spend time together.

One of the challenges to this is the fact that more Americans live a sedentary lifestyle than ever before. A sedentary lifestyle mixed with poor diet creates a recipe for obesity. Addressing one without

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

continued on page 10

Vancouver Family Magazine â&#x20AC;˘ www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com â&#x20AC;˘ October 2012

Parenting Perspectives (cont'd)

continued from page 8 Now, monitoring food intake at home is one thing. But if you’re like me, you know it’s a completely different ball game when it comes to the treats our children are served at school functions or soccer games. I’ve learned to carefully check labels before doling out granola bars and juice boxes to hungry little athletes. It’s too easy to let questionable ingredients sneak by under flashy packaging which boasts “real fruit” or “low fat.” Have you ever noticed that even candy is touted as fat free? While its fat content may be noteworthy, we would never give licorice to our athlete in the name of health. Sure, we might serve it at a party, but it would be illogical to read the “fat free” label and deduce that licorice is healthy. The same goes for other snacks. We can’t let the packaging fool us. We moms can be an invaluable help and encouragement to one another in this area. We all want our kids to have strong,

I will admit, though, that after long days at work, we are guilty on more than one occasion of grabbing a hot and ready pepperoni pizza. That counts for a serving of meat, dairy, grain, and fruit right? I'll keep telling myself that. Justin Farrell is a married father of two living in Vancouver. Despite working for four years in a nutrition clinic, he still struggles to put the knowledge he gained into practice and tries to justify having extra dessert by putting a banana on top of it (and sprinkles and hot fudge, and whipped cream). He writes a blog that can be found at courageousvancouverdad.wordpress. com.

SHE SAID I was only mildly surprised when my 7-year-old requested chocolate fondue for her birthday. She is, after all, her father’s child. Now don’t get me wrong -- I love dipping strawberries in chocolate, too. But it’s her adventuresome father who has helped us discover that sharing unique foods can be a deliciously fun family experience. Because my husband enjoys introducing these treats to our family, my job is to round out the other areas of our diet. Overall we take an 80/20 approach to the foods that we eat. I guard the 80 percent by reading labels, watching out for the bad guys (high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors and flavors and hydrogenated oils) and by choosing ingredients that are as natural as possible. This leaves room for the 20 percent: the treats and sweets.

healthy bodies. And it’s often our job -- and privilege -- to serve other kids in addition to our own. So let’s take that responsibility seriously. Read those labels, discuss healthy options as we cheer from the sidelines, and together we’ll watch our children grow. Although she spends a hefty amount of time in the kitchen seeking a happy medium among kale salads and chocolate souffles, Julianna Lawson still finds time to write at petuniajune. blogspot.com.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

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www.kidkonsignnw.com Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

YOUR MONEY'S WORTH

Your Money’s

WORTH

Read each month as Battle Ground mother, Davi Nabors, coaches us on the art of penny pinching.

Money Smarts for Women by Davi Nabors

arried or not, financially contributing to the family bank account or working full time as a stay at home mom, it is vital for women to have a sound understanding of personal finance. According to the National Center for Women and Retirement Education, as many as nine out of ten women will be solely responsible for their finances at some point in their lives. Two leading factors contributing to this self reliance are, sadly, death and divorce. On average, women outlive men by about seven years, and approximately half of today’s marriages end in divorce. These staggering numbers may come as a wakeup call to women who’ve avoided learning about investing or money management because of its complexities or to women who’ve relied on their spouses to handle the major financial decisions. Regardless of current

status, firsthand knowledge of money management is essential to a secure, financial future. The good news is that personal finance does not have to be complicated, and help is readily available. For starters, check with your local bank or credit union, church or library to find out when they’ll be hosting their next financial seminar. Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, for instance, is offered regularly in the Vancouver area, and the Fort Vancouver Library System periodically offers free classes and assistance for consumers at its various branches. The Web is also loaded with organizations dedicated to helping women. The Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org) is the oldest non-profit organization dedicated to providing financial education to women in their quest for financial independence. Their site is a gold mine of information, covering topics related to family and marriage, divorce, taxes, money clubs and money makeovers, and financial calculators. There’s even a savings calculator that shows how to turn $5 into $21,000, proving that giving up small things on a regular basis can really add up to big savings. I recently attended Real Money Talk for Women, a free workshop hosted by Thrivent Financial for Lutherans in Lake Oswego, Oregon. I came away with several great reminders and thoughts to consider. During the workshop, participants were encouraged to begin by giving ourselves credit for all the financial tasks (related to saving, investing, protecting and planning) we do on a regular basis. It was reassuring and convicting at the same time to see how much I already do and how much more I should still be doing. But Michelle Mathison,

continued on next page Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

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continued from previous page

the Financial Associate leading the class was encouraging and broke down the key steps to financial well-being into manageable pieces. As a first basic step, it’s critical to know how much money is coming in and going out of your home. If you don’t already balance your checkbook (and many families do not), there’s no better time like the present to start. Get a handle on what is already being spent, and create a budget to make adjustments. Saving for the unexpected is also critical, so Mathison suggests setting up an automatic payment plan that socks away a bit of savings every month. By putting your cash in a money market or savings account, it’s fairly easy to access but not as vulnerable to raiding as a piggy bank kept at home. One participant shared how she resisted opening a savings account at first because she thought her bank would only accept large deposits, and she did not have huge sums of money to put away. But after she learned that a $5 deposit was just as acceptable as $500, she

opened an account and was delighted to watch how little amounts added up over time. Successfully managing money day to day and month to month is obviously essential, but there is also the long-term future to consider. A financial adviser can be invaluable, but finding a reputable, relatable one can be tricky. Jean Chatzky, financial journalist and author of the book “Money Rules: The Simple Path to Lifelong Security” offers this advice in her online article “Listen up Ladies, Tips for Closing the Financial Gender Gap,” “If your financial advisor can’t explain things in plain English, and answer your questions, it’s time to find a new one. Ask friends and co-workers for recommendations, meet with a few advisors, and then go with your gut instinct.” Start today by taking the next step to securing your and your family’s financial future. It’s certainly an investment worth making. Davi Nabors is blessed to be a married mom of 2 boys, a freelance writer and popular speaker for moms’ groups around the community.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Feature Article: Food Allergy 101

FOOD

ALLERGY

101

A primer for parents on a growing problem By Janine Boldrin

“As a first time parent, I was terrified because I didn’t know what was happening,” says Hill, whose later found out her son was allergic to eggs, peanuts, and tree nuts. Now, at the age of 6, Daniel’s peanut allergy is severe. “I never experienced food allergies before and we don’t have a family history of them. The doctors took one look at Daniel and said he was likely having a food allergy. Thank goodness he didn’t swallow the eggs because his reaction could have been a lot worse.” 14

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the mechanisms by which a person develops an allergy to specific foods are largely unknown. Children can outgrow food allergies, but some food allergies can remain a lifelong concern. Daniel outgrew his egg allergy at age 3 but his peanut allergy indicates it will be with him for life. “Our history has been quite an adventurous road,” says Hill, “Every year we have him tested and the peanut [allergy] continues to grow. It’s very alarming. And because we do have him tested, we have come up with more allergies. Multiple outdoor allergies and cats and dogs.” Even parents who aren’t experiencing food allergy in their family should know about this growing problem; not only so continued on page 16

trip out to dinner changed everything for Vancouver mom, Felicia Hill, when her oneyear-old son, Daniel, broke out in hives and began swelling in his lips after being exposed to eggs. Their trip to the emergency room was the beginning of a long journey into the world of food allergies.

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Check out Felicia Hill’s website (www.fhcakes.com), where you can learn more about FH Cakes, the Vancouver based cake design business Hill started to offer families the chance to celebrate with a cake that is peanut-free! She also offers dairy, tree-nut, gluten, egg, and soy free cakes. “I wanted to show people that your child can have a fantastic birthday cake like other people can,” says Hill. “Because it’s not just a birthday cake, it’s a memory.”

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Feature Exploring Alaska Feature Story: Article: Food Allergy 101 (cont'd) continued from page 14

they can spot an issue but so they can better understand the moms and dads whose kids are impacted.

chemicals into the blood. The release of these chemicals results in the symptoms of an allergic reaction.”

Identifying a problem

Eight types of food account for 90 percent of all food allergies: cow’s milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish, soybeans, and wheat. The symptoms a person may experience from a food allergy can range from mild to life-threatening. The most common symptoms include hives; itchy rash;

The prevalence of food allergies and associated anaphylaxis is rising. An estimated 4 to 6 percent of U.S. children have food allergies, according to the CDC. Many families often learn of a food allergy only after their child’s first allergic reaction.

People who reacted mildly to a food in the past may suddenly start reacting more severely. A FAAN review of food allergy fatalities found that most of the people had never had a severe allergic reaction until the one that caused their death. Several factors indicate a higher propensity toward developing a food allergy including asthma and/or eczema, and a family history of allergies, says Neveux.

90 percent of all food allergies:

“Signs of a food allergy can present in different ways in cow’s milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, different children,” shellfish, soybeans, and wheat. says Devlyn Neveux, PA-C at PeaceHealth Medical Group Family Medicine at Fisher’s Landing. for over the years. “Hives or red spotted rash is probably the most common physical finding.”

While the Hill family doesn’t have a history of food allergy, Daniel’s dad does have severe outdoor allergies that he’s taken allergy shots

A Different World Parents may feel overwhelmed when they find out that their child has a food allergy. Gone are the carefree days when a parent can drop a toddler off at a friend’s for a play date or at a nursery without worrying about an innocent snack that might make their child very sick. Parents may rush to educate themselves on food allergies but don’t yet have the experience with the issue to draw upon.

In the case of Hill’s son, these initial signs gave her the chance to seek immediate medical attention which pointed them in the direction of additional allergy testing. Thankfully, the family learned of Daniel’s peanut allergy before he had a life threatening situation. “Symptoms usually occur immediately or within 20 minutes of exposure,” says Neveux. “On occasion, with food anaphylaxis, symptoms may not appear for several minutes or even hours.” Anaphylaxis is a severe allergic reaction that can cause difficulty breathing and swelling of the throat and tongue, and may result in death.

Learning the basics According to The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network (FAAN), “a food allergy is a condition in which the immune system incorrectly identifies a food protein as a threat and attempts to protect the body against it by releasing 16

swelling; itching, tingling, or swelling of the lips, tongue, or mouth; vomiting; abdominal cramps; or diarrhea. “Some children can grow out of their food allergies as an adult, and likewise, food allergies can start after puberty,” says Neveux. “My own daughter at sixteen developed shellfish allergies. We were in a developing nation and I thought she has just ingested ‘bad shrimp,’ so I made her try it again when we came home to the states. Both reactions were severe with flushing, diarrhea, and vomiting. Even medical moms can make mistakes.”

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

“Even trace amounts can cause a reaction in someone who is allergic. The allergen doesn’t even have to be ingested to cause a reaction,” according to Jennifer Love, spokesperson for FAAN. “Skin contact or inhalation of protein [steam from cooking an allergen] can sometimes trigger it.” Each family must follow guidelines set forth by their physician to avoid their child becoming ill. The Hill family makes sure they call ahead to verify menus and ingredients when they go out to eat. They are also strict label readers, continued on page 18

We are pleased to announce Evergreen Pediatric Clinic’s new office in the Salmon Creek area New location in the Legacy Salmon Creek Medical Office Building. We will continue to offer the same excellent care at our current location near Southwest Washington Medical Center.

Celebrating

10 Years

A Decade of Strengthening Community Vancouver Family Magazine is celebrating 10 years of serving Southwest Washington families

by featuring new contests each month throughout 2012! This month, go to www.VancouverFamilyMagazine.com to enter for a chance to

win a one-month YMCA family pass (10 lucky winners will be chosen). See www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com/contests.html to enter and for complete rules. Here’s to 10 more years!

Sponsored by:

Contest ends October 26, 2012, 9:00pm PDT. Must be 18 or older to enter. Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Feature Article: Food Allergy 101 (cont'd)

continued from page 16

as are most parents of kids with food allergies. And the Hills always make sure they have safe snacks on hand so Daniel can still feel a part of the group. There is no cure for food allergies. Strict avoidance of the food a child is allergic to is the only means by which to prevent a reaction. Spreading the Word Parents of young children are their child’s advocate when it comes to verbalizing the importance of avoidance of the allergen. Sometimes it is difficult for people who are not familiar with food allergies to understand the implications of a child being exposed to a food to which they are allergic. “Work with others to keep your child safe. It is important to work with school, camp, and childcare staff, as well as anyone else who interacts closely with or cares for your child, to discuss food allergy management and how an allergic reaction will be recognized and treated,” says Love. Hill adds that the biggest thing she wishes those not afflicted by food allergies would do is show compassion and understanding for the families who are dealing

"He is my child. If he eats this

he won’t be with me tomorrow." with a potentially life threatening situation. “He is my child,” she says. “If he eats this he won’t be with me tomorrow. We’re not asking for you not to have the item or a birthday, just know there are alternatives. This is about life or death.” Love also reminds parents that they are not alone. She suggests that parents new to food allergies find a food allergy support group. To find one near you, use FAAN’s Support Group Look Up Tool, which can be found at www.foodallergy. org. “Take a deep breath and know that it’s not your fault,” says Hill, who found support through a local allergy group. “You can’t change it and can’t cure it. But with time and education, you can learn the ins and outs, and make it part of your daily routine. It is foreign and very intimidating in the beginning, but there are so many people out there willing to help you.” Janine Boldrin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She has several family members and friends who have severe food allergies.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Looking for more information? Here are some great resources for parents new to dealing with food allergies: Kids with Allergies, a nonprofit organization that helps families deal with food allergies, has put together a free 47-page guide filled with information for parenting a food-allergic child. To download your copy of “From Confusion to Confidence: A Starter Guide for Parenting a Child with Food Allergies” visit www.kidswithfoodallergies.org . The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network (FAAN) is a trusted source of food allergy information. Their staff can help answer questions parents may have about food allergies and anaphylaxis. Additionally, their website, www.foodallergy.org, offers a variety of free articles, tips, and resources to help parents manage food allergies. Parents can also subscribe to FAAN alerts on food allergy updates, such as recalls due to food allergy concerns, via email. The Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA) is the oldest asthma and allergy patient group in the world. “Ask the Allergist” is a free service provided by AFAA on their website, www.aafa. org, to those who want information about asthma and allergies.

The Kohl’sCares Car Seat Community Outreach Program Why Car Seat Outreach? A properly used car seat reduces the risk of death by 71 percent for infants and 54 percent for toddlers. Yet studies show as much as 73 percent of car seats are incorrectly installed or do not fit the child properly. Together with Kohl’s and ACTS Oregon, the Tom Sargent Safety Center at OHSU Doernbecher is launching a car seat outreach program to help reduce the number of children exposed to improper car seat use. Certified child passenger safety technicians will check car seats for correct installation, damage, recalls, and size/age appropriateness. For more information call 503‑494‑3735. Car seats are available due to a generous donation from Kohl’s. These events are free to the general public.

Learn how to properly install your child’s car seat.

What:

Bring your car seats in your family vehicle for inspection to ensure they are being used correctly and properly installed. Replacement car seats may be available to families, when deemed necessary. Proof of financial assistance, i.e. WIC, Oregon Health Plan etc. and valid Oregon ID are required.

Where:

Gateway Kohl’s 10010 NE Halsey Street Portland

When:

Saturday, October 6 car seat check up 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Learn More! To find out when and where a car seat check up event is happening in your community, please visit the OHSU Tom Sargent Children’s Safety Center website at www.ohsu.edu/childsafety or call 503 494-3735.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Feature Article: Dating After Divorce

Dating after

Divorce By Dana Greyson

“Your curfew is 9 o’clock sharp. After all, this is a school night! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” The twist? Your teen is telling you that, as you head off for your post-divorce date. Whoa! Let’s back up a few steps. . . . How do you know when you’re ready to date? What kind of person do you want to date? How do meet your dates? How do you act on dates? What do you tell your kids? When do you introduce them to your kids? When is it time to move beyond dating? Those who’ve struck out once or more, may find Jerry Seinfeld’s quip “What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?” more real than funny. Take heart. Allison Pescosolido, founder of Divorce Detox, reassures, “Most of our clients come to us worried they will not find love in the future, only to discover there are so many more options than they ever imagined. Once they heal their past, and learn how to date as a responsible adult, they often find themselves in relationships that are more fulfilling than ever.” In fact, nearly 70 percent who divorce, remarry.

Reflecting: Are You Ready to Date? “What surprised me was just how long it took to feel ready to date. I had to move, to change my perspective,” admits Vancouver-based relationship coach Rinatta Paries. A certified relationship specialist with the American Psychotherapy Association, Paries believes “You’re ready when you are fully at peace with your ex.” Paries offers relationship tips at www.getrelationshipsright.com. “Reflecting on your role in past relationships, why you chose your prior partner will help you make better choices in your future relationships,” counsels Vancouver-based licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed mental health counselor “Reflecting on your role in past relationships, why you Lynne M. Smith. Smith is working on a Ph.D. research project focused on chose your prior partner will help you make better evaluating expert reports on the effects choices in your future relationships,” of divorce on children and how to divorce in healthier ways. 20

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

continued on page 22

MAKE IT A PLAY DATE ChILDwATCh AnD grouP CLAssEs ArE frEE wITh ALL fAMILY MEMbErshIPs Swimming Basketball Rookie Sports Bouldering Wall Yoga Zumba® Body Pump© Cycling

Senior Strength Adult Tranquility Swim Boot Camp Step Zumbatomic® Weight Lifting Teen Extreme And Much More!

Clark County Family YMCA 11324 NE 51st Circle 360.885.9622 www.ymcacw.org

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Feature Article: Dating After Divorce (con'd) continued from page 20

“Online dating equals one word: Photoshop!” Prospecting: How will you meet your dates?

game . . . People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”

“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe,” jokes Comedian Rita Rudner.

Respecting: What not to share about your ex

Prefer a little more anonymity and casting a wider net in your search? Health. com reported that by 2009, 22 percent of all heterosexual couples met online. Consumer-rankings.com/dating claims that the five best dating sites of 2012 are Match.com, eHarmony, perfectmatch. com, chemistry.com, and spark.com. But beware: Vancouver divorcee Laura Manning’s experience: “Online dating equals one word: Photoshop!” Meeting the old fashioned way, through work, hobbies and friends and family is still the most effective. Let your friends and family know you’re ready. Rediscover what you love to do. Explore hobbies and interests in social settings. The friends or partners you meet this way are more likely to share your interests and values.

Selecting: Who do you want to date? “Make a written list of the positive attributes you’re looking for in a healthy relationship when you’re calm, before getting into a love-drugged state. It’s a great objective touchstone for when you become more serious about a prospective partner,” suggests Smith. Paries emphasizes viewing dating as “simply another way to meet new friends, rather than focus on looking for ‘the one.’ Keep an open mind. Let go of superficial stuff, like what they do for a living.” Henry Cloud, author of “How to Get a Date Worth Keeping” is even more pragmatic, “Dating is primarily a numbers 22

Vancouver-based certified mediator and executive director of Centerpoint Mediation, Geniece S. Brown, offers her divorcing clients these tips: 1.

Painting your spouse as the “bad, crazy, or abusive one,” will only make you unattractive to others.

Build a small but strong support system: a counselor, clergy, a divorce support group, and/or one or two loyal friends, with whom you can really “let it all out.” Those who will keep your confidence and give you honest advice in a loving way are true friends.

With everyone else, take the high road. Prepare a phrase to use, such as “He’s a great father, but we had to part ways.” Being the bigger person will put you in a very good light.

See www.CenterpointMediation.net for Brown’s “Top Ten Tips for Dating After Divorce.”

Connecting: You have a date! Now what? First, be yourself. Better to have someone accept or reject you for who you are, than fall for someone you’re not. Second, intimate relations are common among divorcees re-entering dating, but take it slow. In case things do heat up, be prepared to avoid pregnancy and “other gifts that keep on giving.” And regarding what to do on

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

the date, Judith “Miss Manners” Martin asserts, “There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.”

continued on page 24

Representing Northwest Families and Their Loved Ones for Over 25 years

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Feature Article: Dating After Divorce (con'd) continued from page 22

Protecting: Where do (and don’t) your kids fit into your dating life? “Kids aren’t stupid," Smith warns. “They’re curious as heck and resourceful little buggers.” Do let your dates know you are a parent, but keep your focus on getting to know each other.

Do “Tell your child in advance that you are going to have an evening out with someone. Reassure your child about your love for him, what time you will be home, and who will be looking after him. If your child asks if this is a date, you can tell him the following: ‘You could call it a date. I like to think about it as going out with a new friend,’” advises PhDs Nicholas Long and Rex Forehand in “Making Divorce Easier on Your Child: 50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust.”

Do limit public displays of affection. “For those of you who simply can’t wait to get back into circulation, a word of wisdom. Your children do not want to know about your dating habits,” chide PhDs Nadir Baksh, PsyD and Laurie Murphy in “In the Best Interest of the Child: A Manual for Divorcing Parents.” “They don’t want to see you and your new beau having any type of physical contact or engaging in eyeball gazing, because they think it’s embarrassing and gross.” continued on next page

What do teens want their

parents

to know about

dating? Vancouver teens and young adults weigh in about their parents dating after a divorce.

“It was hard, but I noticed my parents were happier when they weren’t together, especially when they met new people. My advice to parents? Tell your kids before you start dating, and let them meet before you get too serious. My dad’s engaged. I didn’t know what to think when I met his fiancé. Would she like me? It’s okay now.” --Ashleigh T., 17, a senior at Heritage High School whose dad met his fiancé through a mutual friend.

“Bring your dates home to meet your kids. They’ve been with you their entire life and have a pretty good idea of who would suit you.” --Ty M., 19 whose mom met his stepdad on a business trip, and dad met his stepmom through mutual friends’ parents.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

“Listen to your kids; they can give you some honest feedback if they see you’re with someone who won’t make you happy.” --Rachel W., 20, whose mom remarried someone she met through mutual friends.

continued from previous page

Don’t be pressured to introduce your date to your kids too soon. Either wait until you’re more serious, or make dates part of your broader circle of family friends, engaging in kid-focused activities, with the focus on the kids, not the relationship. Don’t wait too long; your kids are a major part of your life, and anyone you’re dating needs accept that. “Do keep telling your children, ‘No matter what, you still love them,’” and act like it, says Smith. Have fun. This is your chance to revisit your youth and rejoice, tempered with the wisdom you’ve gained since then. Take your time; the right person will come along when you and they are ready. Dana Greyson is a Certified Mediator who has worked with hundreds of separated and separating parents and cofounded Vancouver’s “Second Saturday: What Women Need to Know About Divorce” workshop. She has mostly fond memories of dating after being “out of circulation” for 20 years, and is happily remarried and blogging on www. GalleyWenchTales.com.

Serving Nonprofits One Cupcake at a Time

We also do birthday parties.

Divine Bites is a project of Gifts For Our Community whose mission is to provide resources to local community charities. Proceeds from Divine Bites will go out into the community through our granting program. Please call (360) 695-6443 to place a special order for your meetings or events. Divine Bites is located inside Divine Consign Furniture 10-5:30pm • Mon-Sat 904 Main Street Vancouver WA

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Feature Story: Preventing Sports Injuries in Teens and Kids

Preventing Sports Injuries in Teens and Kids

rganized sports can be great for kids. Sports can help improve motor skills as well as overall fitness and social skills. While organized sports are generally safe for kids, injuries do happen. Bruises, bumps, and scrapes are common in an active child, and they are easy to care for – a little ice or bandage and your child is good to go. But what about those injuries that are more serious? No parent likes to see their child in pain and not able to play their favorite sport.

Parents’ Game Plan

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, sports related injuries continue to rise. Despite the plethora of protective gear children now wear, their developing bodies are still vulnerable to injury and half of all sports medicine injuries in children and teens are from overuse. The good news is that there are many different things coaches and parents can do to help prevent these injuries. An overuse injury is damage to a bone, muscle, ligament, or tendon due to repetitive stress without allowing time for the body to heal. Shin splints are an example of an overuse injury. Children and teens are at increased risk for overuse injuries because growing bones are less resilient to stress. The following is information from the American Academy of Pediatrics about overuse injuries and injury prevention tips.

On Your Mark

Prepare your child with the appropriate gear. Make sure it fits appropriately and is the correct gear for the sport, such as pads, helmets, mouthpieces, shoes, and eyewear. All this gear is essential in preventing injuries, but make sure your athlete knows that this is not an invitation to perform more dangerous activities. 26

By Stacey Ostrin, MD

Get Set

All athletes should have a physical evaluation by a physician before they begin the sports season. Well child checkups with their physician will help them prepare and maintain their health throughout the year. It is important to maintain good fitness during the sports season and off season. This will help their body stay conditioned and prepare them for the upcoming sport season, which can help prevent injuries. If your athlete experiences any pain, contact their physician.

Go Keep participation in a particular sport to no more than five days per week and one sport per season. Athletes should avoid specializing in one sport before they reach puberty. This can help avoid injury and burnout. Encourage your child to try a variety of sports. Don’t forget about rest. Rest is just as important as training for any athlete. Athletes should take a combined two to three months off per year from a specific sport, which can be divided throughout the year.

Goal The ultimate goal for any parent or coach is for their athletes to have fun and enjoy physical activity for a lifetime. By preventing injuries and burnout, children can have a safe, positive experience with sports. Stacey Ostrin, MD, is a physician at PeaceHealth Medical Group Family Medicine. continued on next page

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

«««

continued from previous page

Team "Limes" of the SW Washington Lacrosse League

Team "Spartans" of the SW Washington Lacrosse League

"Lacrosse is a fast-paced, free-flowing game. We follow general rules to prevent injuries: players are wearing all the required protective gear, they know and abide by the rules of the sport, always warm up, and practice specific stretches before and after playing. During off season we encourage all our players to be involved in other sports." -Coach Manju Mayachar, SW Washington Lacrosse Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Calendar

October ‘12

S M T W T F S 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

Tuesday

Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. Free every Tuesday at 13503 SE Mill Plain Blvd. #B-3, Vancouver. 10:30 am

3 5

Friday

KidKonsign NW Sale at Clark County Square Dance Center, 10713 NE 117th Ave., Vancouver. Excellent gently used kids’ clothing, toys,

Vancouver witches Katie Scarlette (8) and Gracie Belle (6)

of events

activities

Have a community event that you want to share? Calendar event submissions can be sent to calendar@vancouverfamilymagazine. com, or call us at 360-882-7762. Submissions are due on the 5th of the month prior to publication. Events are subject to change. Please contact organization directly to confirm. All library events are free and open to the public. furniture, shoes, and more. Visit www.kidkonsignnw.com for information on shopping, volunteering and consigning. 8 am-7 pm

Wednesday

Barnes & Noble Children’s Story Time at 7700 NE 4th Plain Blvd., Vancouver. Free snack, activity, and story Saturdays and Wednesdays. 11 am

CALENDAR OF EVENTS & ACTIVITIES continued from page 26

W-Family free family activities first and third Friday of each month at Westfield Vancouver Mall, lower level in front of Old Navy. 11 am-12 pm Parent’s Night Out for ages 6 weeks to 12 years, at the Clark County Family YMCA- 11324 NE 51st Circle Vancouver. Safe, engaging, and exciting activities as parents enjoy a night out. Members are $5 per child. Nonmembers are $7.50 per child. For more details call 360-885-

9622 or email ldiaz@ymcaportland.org. 6-9 pm

Saturday

360-695-5235 Upcoming Class Info : www.minimozartspreschool.com 28

St., Vancouver. Includes an ageappropriate tour of the museum, an airplane story read beneath the wings of a historic aircraft, and a craft project. Museum admission applies. Children under age 6 are admitted for free. Admission for students ages 6 to 17, seniors or active military with ID is $5. Adult admission is $7. For more information, contact Pearson Air Museum at 360-6947026 or visit www.pearsonairmuseum.org 10 am

KidKonsign NW Sale at Clark County Square Dance Center. (See Oct. 5) 8 am-7 pm Home Depot Kids’ Workshop. Free hands-on, “how-to” craft workshops designed for kids ages 5-12. First Saturday of each month at 8601 NE Andresen Rd., Vancouver. 9 am-12 pm

Enrolling now for Fall “When in Doubt, Sing Out!”

Check out our website for even m ore local even ts.

Come and Play on Saturday at Three Creeks Community Library, 800-C NE Tenney Rd., Vancouver. Saturdays through November 24 (no program on October 13). Art, crafts, games, and mystery activities. 10 am-12 pm Soar with Books on the first Saturday of each month at Pearson Air Museum, 1115 E 5th

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Barnes & Noble Children’s Story Time (See Oct. 3) 11 am Super Saturday at Three Creeks Community Library, 800C NE Tenney Rd., Vancouver. “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” party with games, crafts and fun all inspired by the popular kids’ series. 2 pm Humane Society for Southwest Washington Dinner and Auction at Hilton Vancouver, 301 W 6th St., Vancouver. Individual Tickets $100, Table for Ten $1000. 5-9 pm

Vancouver Family Magazine â&#x20AC;˘ www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com â&#x20AC;˘ October 2012

Calendar of Events & Activities (cont'd) continued from page 28

Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. (See Oct. 2) 10:30 am

10 12

Wednesday

Barnes & Noble Children’s Story Time (See Oct. 3) 11 am

Friday

Contra in the Couve at the Hazel Dell Grange, 7509 NE Hazel Dell Ave., Vancouver. Live music of the Hat Band, from Portland/ Vancouver. Admission is $7.00; $5.00 over 65 or under 12. Free instruction starts at 7:30. Wear comfortable shoes, and remember to bring a water bottle. Kid-friendly, smoke- and alcohol-free. For more information, call 360-750-0113 or visit www. contra-van-wa.org. 8-11 pm

Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. (See Oct. 2) 10:30 am

17 19

Wednesday

Barnes & Noble Children’s Story Time (See Oct. 3) 11 am

Friday

Superkids Resale Event at 11803 SE Mill Plain Blvd., Vancouver. Excellent gently used kids’ clothing, toys, furniture, shoes, and more. Visit www.superkidsresale.com for information on shopping, volunteering and consigning. 9 am-8 pm

W-Family free family activities first and third Friday of each month at Westfield Vancouver Mall, lower level in front of Old Navy. 11 am-12 pm

Saturday

Friends of the Three Creeks Community Library Book Sale at 800-C NE Tenney Rd., Vancouver. 8 am-5 pm Barnes & Noble Children’s Story Time (See Oct. 3) 11 am Second Saturdays at the Water Resources Education Center, 4600 SE Columbia Way, Vancouver. Each second Saturday of the month, kids and their families are invited to explore a different topic through hands-on activities, games and stories. October theme: Urban Wildlife. Children must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. 1-3 pm

Tuesday

Parent’s Night Out for ages 6 weeks to 12 years, at the Clark County Family YMCA. (See Oct. 5) 6-9 pm

Sunday

Superkids Resale Event at 11803 SE Mill Plain Blvd., Vancouver. (See Oct. 19) 9 am-5 pm

Tuesday

Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. (See Oct. 2) 10:30 am

Wednesday

Barnes & Noble Children’s Story Time (See Oct. 3) 11 am The Kids Cooking Corner Annual Fundraiser at 40 ET 8 Bingo Parlor, 7607 NE 26th Ave., Vancouver. Keynote speaker is Jendy Newman, registered dietician from PeaceHealth Southwest. Lunch at 11:30 am will consist of fruits and vegetables from The KCC garden, harvested by the children who planted them. Tickets are at $35.00 pre-paid. Tables of 8 are $400.00. Funds allow scholarships for students. All donations are tax deductible. The Kids Cooking Corner will be open for touring after the luncheon from 1-2 pm. 11 am-1 pm

Saturday

Superkids Resale Event at 11803 SE Mill Plain Blvd., Vancouver. (See Oct. 19) 9 am-5 pm Come and Play on Saturday at Three Creeks Community Library. (See Oct. 6) 10 am-12 pm Barnes & Noble Children’s Story Time (See Oct. 3) 11 am

Friday

Annual Clark County Mayors’ and Civic Leaders’ Prayer Breakfast at Hilton Vancouver, 301 W 6th St., Vancouver. Individual tickets: $30, table for 10 $275. All tickets sold at the door. 7-9 am

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

Saturday

Come and Play on Saturday at Three Creeks Community Library. (See Oct. 6) 10 am-12 pm Barnes & Noble Children’s Story Time (See Oct. 3) 11 am

Tuesday

Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. (See Oct. 2) 10:30 am

Wednesday

Barnes & Noble Children’s Story Time (See Oct. 3) 11 am

10 year-old Trent from Vancouver in his "Nerd" Costume

Tuesday

advertiser index Business Opportunities My Demarle at Home.......................................3

Financial IQ Credit Union ................................................5

Dance Danceworks......................................................5

Legal Schauermann, Thayer, Jacobs & Staples Law Firm.........................................................23

Events Kid Konsign NW.............................................11 Kohl's Car Seat Safety Event.........................19 Superkids Resale.............................................5 Vancouver Dance Theatre..............................23 Fitness East West Martial Arts....................................27 Mountain View Ice Arena................................11 YMCA Clark County.......................................21 Grocery New Seasons Market.....................................19 Health Adventure Dental..............................................9 Evergreen Pediatrics......................................17 PeaceHealth Southwest...................................2 Under the Sea Dentistry for Children.............13 Vancouver Pediatric Dentistry........................32 Women’s Clinic of Vancouver.........................11

Parties & Entertainment Divine Bites....................................................25 The Kids Cooking Corner...............................11 Mountain View Ice Arena................................11

Resources Clark Public Utilities........................................23 The Kids Cooking Corner...............................11 Kohl's Car Seat Community Outreach Program.......19 Schools Mini Mozarts' Preschool.................................28 SW WA Catholic Schools...............................25

Performing Arts Vancouver Dance Theatre..............................23 Radio Radio Disney..................................................31 Restaurant Hula Boy...........................................................5 Retail Kazoodles.......................................................15 My Demarle at Home.......................................3 Westfield Vancouver.......................................29

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

360.256.1755

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • October 2012

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