The Echo Week 5 by The Val Echo

ISSUE 1405 | DEC 23, 2018

THE

REINDEER TRIP BAUBLES

ECHO

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M A G A Z I N E

CRAP CHRISTMAS CHRONICLES

FESTIVE FROLLOCKS

COVER ART By Sydney Wesley-Weeks Interview: Page 10

PROUDLY PRESENTED BY THE FOLIE DOUCE ART PROJECT Each week, the front cover of The Echo is going to be a different artwork produced by mostly local artists, but also several from further afield. This project is being very generously supported by La Folie Douce, whose contribution is allowing the artists to be paid ahead of time for their work, as both Folie and The Echo firmly believe in paying people for their skills.

If you’re interested in drawing/painting/ collaging/ creating something in whatever medium takes your fancy, please get in touch by emailing contact@valecho.co.uk and we can discuss. Equally, if you’re interested in writing for the magazine or have ideas for a feature, drop us a line. At the end of the season, the plan is to

We want to encourage a community of creators and give people a space to use their talents, even if whilst out here, many are taking a break from “regular life”. Prints of the artwork are available to purchase on The Echo website, www. valecho.co.uk/shop, with profits going to the artists.

hold an exhibition of all The Echo covers from the winter, and again Folie Douce is supporting this endeavour, as it fits with their creative vision. We can’t wait to see what the artists come up with each week and look forward to talking to them about their work and life in or out of the mountains.

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28 LEGENDS OF VAL You know the drill. This week: Callum Smale.

34 THE CRAP CHRISTMAS CHRONICLES

Echo Publications CCK Intergalactic Ltd

A miserable git takes the fun out of Christmas.

www.valecho.co.uk contact@valecho.co.uk

What’s on this week: - Town events - Bar nights - Sporting competitions

Please recycle the magazine once you have read it. Or better still, hand it on to someone else. Contributors Sam Box, Ben Pryor, Caitlin Kennedy.

EVENT GUIDE

FESTIVE FROLLOCKS

The low down on what to do and where to go over this festive season.

RESORT GUIDE

The down-low on everything from the best restaurants to the numbers to call in an emergency.

SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST

p o w e r e d

We chat to Sydney Wesley-Weeks, the designer of this week’s cover art. The Echo’s cover is generously sponsored by La Folie Douce.

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14 OUT OF THE BUBBLE

A satirical spin on the week’s events from further afield than the Espace Killy.

REINDEER TRIP BAUBLES

Everything you never knew about Reindeer.

PRO GEAR TIPS

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SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST

10 I was also lucky enough to briefly get involved with an incredible organisation called Pass the Crayon who offered art projects in refugee shelters. We’d spend a few hours helping and joining in with the children who were making a mess, being creative and expressing themselves – making everything from huge 3D planets or stop-motion figures. Those were some of my favourite memories from Berlin!

What’s your preferred medium? Artist: Sydney Wesley-Weeks How does art feature in your life at the moment?

I definitely wouldn’t describe myself as an artist, but making, viewing and talking about art is always a part of my life. Usually I just draw or create things for people: a drawing for someone I really want to thank; or designing materials for children to work with. I’ve just moved to a new city, and in 2019 I want to see what projects I can get involved with here – it’s always a new years’ resolution to do more.

From your time working with kids, what’s the funniest/strangest thing you’ve ever seen a kid draw?

So many incredible pictures! I’ve had some pretty unflattering portraits, but in Hong Kong I vividly remember a part-collage, part-drawing of a futuristic metro stop called “Sydney Station”, with trains and cars flying in and out. And once an 11 year old drew a really realistic picture of Winston Churchill – that was pretty funny.

You lived in Berlin for a while? Did you find that conducive to creating? Berlin is an incredible place, with inspirational creative people and events all the time. At first, I had more time on my hands, so sometimes I’d sit and draw because I found it completely absorbing.

Definitely my packet of worn-out watercolour pencils. Or, like for this cover- just a pair of scissors and whatever patterned or coloured papers I can find (often in my recycling bin)

And finally, have you ever met a reindeer? Sadly not yet. Maybe this year!

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OUT OF THE BUBBLE By Ben Pryor

Drones flying over Gatwick have stranded over 10,000 passengers in an incident which has been described as malicious but not a terror attack. Some 110,000 people were due to take off or land at the airport on Thursday alone with flights diverted to airports from Glasgow to Amsterdam. The perpetrator faces up to five years in prison, the Sussex police can’t find the person in question, the army has been drafted in to help and the Civil Aviation Authority was quick to declare the whole mess an extraordinary event, exempting airlines from paying passengers any compensation. Pretty extreme measures to get people’s minds off Brexit,

Theresa, but job done.

Parliament’s meaningful vote on Theresa gonebyMay’s meaningless deal was deferred until January, so the House of Commons opted for an ‘Allo ‘Allo style panto with the Jeremy channelling his inner René Artois in allegedly mumbling ‘stupid woman’ during PMQs. Top of his Christmas list to Santa is a General Election (along with a signed picture of Chairman Mao), hers for her vote to somehow pass (a natty pair of shoes and any dancing ability) and everyone else’s not be forced to choose between these two muppets. Lest he be left out of the Christmas spirit, the Donald announced that (unlike Stormy Daniels) he is pulling out of Syria, potentially allowing IS to return in spite of his Tweet claiming they’d

been defeated. The Kurdish-led alliance warned of a military vacuum into which any of Russia, Iran or Turkey could step, Republican Senators and a presidential envoy warned against the decision and the US Defence Secretary resigned, suggesting the Donald appoint someone ‘whose views are better aligned with yours’; a Mr G. Khan of Mongolia would seem to be the logical candidate.

in front of the black adult Pegasus left the latter looking endowed with something which would have caused significant wind resistance. A deer poacher in Missouri has been sentenced to watch the film Bambi once a month while serving a year in jail; bet Bill Cosby wishes he’d been tried there. A Scottish mother sent her son to his school nativity with a blow-up sheep sex doll; not the kind of thing you want at the coming of our Saviour.

A Worcester man was worried a ghost had left an imprint of his penis on his girlfriend’s leg overnight, but was relieved to realise it was caused by his hand on her fake tan; just a guess, but doubt either of them is a PhD physics student. A woman who baked a Hercules cake for her child’s birthday was left embarrassed after the white baby Pegasus

And finally, the Western Australian Museum has defended its decision to purchase an ‘historic glory hole’ rescued from a train station loo being demolished in 1997, saying its role is to represent the entire community; if the entire community used it, it rather defeats the point. Until next week, I’m off to have a threesome in Missouri.

REINDEER TRIP BAUBLES Whilst watching a nature documentary that was sure to be a disappointment as it didn’t feature the dulcet tones of David Attenborough, I discovered that there is a herd of reindeer in the highlands of England. The herd of 150 has been free to roam over 10,000 hectares of the Cairngorm highlands since 1952 when they were introduced by a Swedish couple. Now if that isn’t a Christmas miracle then I don’t know what is. In preparation for the time that I inevitably meet one, I started avidly gathering information so that I’ll know exactly what to say and do to be in their good books. It turns out they’re pretty darn cool creatures even without all the flying and sledge pulling. Rudolph is real Some reindeer at certain times of the year do actually have red noses due to the huge number of blood vessels present at the end of their nose. They are very rare amongst mammals in having fur covering every bit of their body including their noses, which helps warm up air as it enters their airways, allowing them to conserve heat in the bitterly cold Arctic environment they live in during winter. Click and Go You might not hear bells as a reindeer passes by, but they do click when they walk. A specialised tendon in their knee makes a sound as it passes over the bone and the resulting clicking noise is used by reindeer to locate one another in poor visibility. Even more impressively, the frequency of the sound can signal the animal’s position in the pecking order of the herd. Evolution is cray. Their hooves are also specially adapted, being soft in the winter to allow them to spread out wide for good balance on the snow. In the summer they harden and the animals use them for digging beneath the snow to access lichen, scrub and mushrooms. The hardening also means their feet become very efficient paddles. Flying high

There is some evidence that the original tale 18 of Santa Claus or Sinterklaas, as he is known in the original Dutch story, was a shamanic nomad who was a real fun guy after partaking in a spot of mushroom picking. Whilst Santa’s little trips explains why his reindeer were flying, it doesn’t tell the full story. In all likelihood, his trusty steeds would have been high as kites too, as reindeer have often been observed going to great lengths to seek out and eat the hallucinogenic Fly Agaric mushroom. These are the mushrooms that you think of if someone says “mushroom”; red all over with white spots. It turns out our antlered friends would rather have something a bit stronger than a carrot at Christmas. On ingesting these fungi, reindeer have been seen behaving drunkenly, running about aimlessly and making strange noises. And they seem to like it. Nomadic tribes people have historically been known to ingest the urine of reindeer under the influence as a safer way of taking the mushrooms, which can be dangerous for humans to take directly but doesn’t seem to cause any damage to the junkie deer. Head of the herd

Reindeer are the only species of deer in which the female’s have well developed antlers. Not only that but the ladies keep their horns all year round, whereas males lose theirs in early November. The girls are therefore in charge of defending the herd and must make up the entirety of Santa’s sleigh team because in all the pictures, every reindeer has horns. The only time the females lose their majestic headgear is straight after having a baby. Reindeer calves are pretty incredible too; after just an hour and a half of being born, they are able to run several miles. So there you have it. Not just a pretty face for a Christmas Card.

PRO GEAR TIPS If you have never had ski boots properly fitted, you’ll likely have no idea how they are supposed to fit. You might even think they’re supposed to hurt like hell. Well they’re not! Ski boots should be a snug fit. They should hold your feet firmly, but they certainly shouldn’t feel like a crippling vice. And neither should your feet be swimming around inside them. Boots are without a doubt the most important piece of your equipment; they are the interface between brain, body and feet on the one hand and skis, their edges and the snow on the other. The stiff material transfers instructions to the skis and gives you feedback from the snow and terrain. Poorly fitted boots, aside from giving you sore feet, will cause a delay and dampening of the transmission– in other words, your skis won’t do what you tell them to do as quickly as you want them to. So getting your ski boots right, whatever level of skier you are, is crucial to both comfort and performance, and if learning to ski properly is on the agenda then getting the right boots, rental or shopbought, is imperative. Unfortunately an awful lot of shops either don’t know how to fit boots properly or – even worse – just don’t care. Some shops don’t even bother to look at or measure your feet, they just ask your shoe size and

hand on over a pair of boots. But even IF – and it’s a big “if” – your correct size (length) in ski boots is the same as your street shoe size, there’s a lot more to getting the right ski boots than just the length. For your ski boots to fit and function properly, it’s a question of matching the overall three dimensional shape of the hard plastic shell as closely as possible to the overall three dimensional shape of your foot. So as well as actually measuring the length of your feet (both feet that is; a lot of people have different-sized feet), there are a plenty of other things to be taken into account. A skilled bootfitter should look not just at the actual length of your feet but at the width, instep height, toe-box shape, Achilles, ankle and calf before selecting the shell (model) of boots that most closely corresponds with the overall 3D shape of your foot and lower leg. Watch out for “bootfitters” who don’t really know what they are doing. It’s all too easy for them to put you into a boot that is too big because it feels nice and comfy in the shop - of course it does, your feet aren’t even touching the sides! As soon as you get onto the mountain, however, your feet will start to move around inside the boots, keeping control of your skis will be impossible and hefty blisters and/or shin bruises will be on the way. Tightening the buckles just deforms the shell, flattens your arch and cuts off your circulation causing excruciating pain and freezing feet... To Be Continued

OFF PISTE SNOW REPORT Brought to you by Henry’s Avalanche Talk For Savoie and the Northern French Alps Milder days ahead, sun snow and rain What a great and varied off-piste week we’ve had! Conditions have sometimes been excellent with cold dry light powder skiing in good visibility (often bright sunshine). At other times it’s been much trickier skiing in heavy and humidified snow. We’ve also had some days of flat light and tricky route-finding. We even had to get the compass out once in an area we’ve skied hundreds of times! Off-Piste Snow & Weather Report Off-piste adventures. Wayne Watson photo A snowy, sunny, (rainy?) milder Christmas It looks as if the weather’s going to become quite varied after Friday, with temperatures due to rise. We’re due for quite a bit of fresh snow/rain, along with strong West to Northwest winds, particularly at high altitude. Some days will feel quite nice, some not so. All this will affect the quality and stability of the snow. The weather forecast we make here is pretty unreliable this week. I expect it will change every day. At HAT we emphasize that the vast majority of avalanche accidents involve cold, dry snow slab avalanches triggered by the victim on North’ish facing slopes in December, January and February. We emphasize this to counter the widespread misunderstanding that avalanche danger is mainly related to rising temperatures. This is simply not true. So over the last two weeks, we’ve been

24 talking about issues with an unstable snowpack due to cold weather and a weak layer. There have been some very close calls by off-piste skiers, who have triggered avalanches especially on ‘bluebird days’ after fresh snowfall. Thankfully, as far as we know, there have been no fatalities, but there very well could have been. Most of the time, nothing happens. However, just because nothing happens to the vast majority of people, that doesn’t mean there’s not a danger. See Henry’s previous blog on this subject. Risk of natural wet snow avalanches This weekend, freezing levels are forecast to rise above 2500 m at times in most of the N French Alps. We will see a rapid rise in temperature, along with rain, snow, sun etc., this will create a risk of spontaneous, natural avalanches – especially just after a snowstorm. These will not be triggered by skiers but happen spontaneously, especially below 2300m. Natural wet snow avalanches, that release on steep slopes due to rain and a big increase in temperatures, during and just after snowstorms, can and do cause tragic accidents. We need to keep an eye on this over the weekend and into next week (as well as the other issues of long term instability caused by cold temperatures that we’ve mentioned in our last two off-piste snow reports!)

25 the westerly wind is still moderate in the morning, then weakening. 0 ° C: 2300 then 2100 m during the day, 2500 m at the end of the night. SUNDAY 23 and MONDAY 24 Winds WNW then WSW then NW at altitude, cooler on Monday. Sunday, large clear spells, Monday, partly sunny; cloud moving in later, expect precipitation in the night 0 ° C reaches 3000 m Sunday evening, then lowers Monday, and the snowflakes reach 1500 m Tuesday in the early morning.

With all the new precipitation, this kind of instability is going to be a real concern for off-piste skiers and snowboarders who are out in avalanche terrain this coming week. Remember to check the avalanche bulletin before you go off-piste. See our descriptions of what all the avalanche danger ratings mean. Detailed off-piste weather forecast for 22 – 29 Dec SATURDAY 22 Milder day, some cloud some sun. The many clouds in the early morning becoming thinner with some clearings. At the beginning of the night, the skies clear. Maybe a few snowflakes The wind from West to NW remains strong in very high mountain, and lower on the SE of Savoie, At 2000 m in the Prealps,

TUESDAY 25 and WEDNESDAY 26 Wind from NW turns to the north, weakening little by little and softening. Tuesday, a little sun; snow diminishes in the afternoon; Wednesday, sunnier at least in the mountains, possible The 0 ° C isotherm approaches 1500 m Tuesday, then goes back to 2700 m Wednesday at night. THURSDAY 27 and FRIDAY 28 The wind from North to NW at altitude, a bit cooler. Days largely sunny in the mountains; Isotherm 0 ° C in slight decline, around 2300 m. Tip of the week See our HAT Risk Reduction Framework / Checklist and check out our online talk which explains it all. Safety is Freedom!

LEGENDS OF VAL We sat down with the fabulously-flamboyant but “definitely-not-gay” Callum from Cocorico, who is on his second season in Val.

28 wanted to tell me that 150 hip flasks had been confiscated from the Cardiff Uni students and a mascot head had been stolen.

Ah, I remember that! There was a big campaign to find Julian’s head. Exactly, so we were interrogating 650 drunken students thinking someone’s got a head that is four times the size of their own and is also panda shaped. How hard can this be? Eventually some guy handed it back in.

God damn students. What’s your tipple of choice?

So we’ve seen you naked this season more than we’d like. Why are you so bad at babyfoot? For the uninitiated, if you lose at babyfoot in The Fall Line, you have to do a lap of the table with a gusty breeze blowing around your nether regions. Well I beat Jono last year so I came into the season all guns blazing, but I have the tendency to get on the wrong side of Dutch Courage. The reasoning goes something like this: “I’ve had a drink so I fancy my chances here”, swiftly followed by, “I’ve had too much to drink so my arms no longer work.” Also I was playing against Henry and that guy has for too much lower arm strength in his right arm... Just saying! He’s like a bazooka from the elbow down.

We’ll take your word for it. How did you end up in Val? I was on the Snowsports committee for my uni and spent a good amount of time on the other side of the bar at Cocorico. At the end of the trip, I let it be known that I’d love to work there and Victor came up to me the next night and asked if he could speak to me. Get in, I thought, I’ve got the job, but alas no; he

I’m partial to a vodka pomme, although this year it seems to be bringing out my alter ego, Cassandra. She is very sassy. If you see me slut dropping, it’s Cassandra. If I click in your face, don’t blame me, blame Cassandra. The problem is that she’s cock-blocking me in a major way. I’ve been asked if I’m gay more times this season than I’ve heard the warblings of ‘Sweet Caroline’, which is a lot.

We support flamboyancy. You do you Callum and Cassandra! Well actually I think the slut drops are catching on because I saw John Cooper dropping it like it was hot left right and centre last night. It’s spreading, it’s the new Val d’Isease.

Let’s talk about sober activities. You’re a musician right? Yeah I play guitar and write songs. Not as much as I should, but that’s what I want to do long-term. I mostly do solo stuff but I’ve done a couple of collaborations too.

Cool and we hear you’re a writer too? Well I’ve done a bit of blogging for a friend who set up a media company called Evil Media Network. You should check it out, it’s really cool. Off the back of that I started my own website just to put out my hungover ramblings really. And this year with Cocorico‘s new website, I’ve been doing a bit more

29 writing.

Highly recommended reading if you want a bit of a chortle. Aside from the writing, what’s your go-to hangover activity? Trying to forget that I’m human. Followed by cooking the greasiest breakfast with the most delicate scrambled eggs. I make divine scrambled eggs. And then I have to down a pint of milk to try and assuage the crippling heartburn I’ve acquired from the night before. So just mountains of dairy products then? I like to consume all but the meat of a cow. Hate to break it to you but cows do not lay eggs... I beg to differ. I only buy the finest cows eggs. There is a special section in the supermarket- you’ve never seen it before because it’s members only. The shells have the same patterns as the cow and the eggs pop out the udders like water droplets tumbling off icicles. Goodness, you really do have a way with words! And what’s your go to film/TV out here? I’m a sucker for cartoons. My favourite is probably Storks with Andy Samberg. It’s shit but it’s genius. Anything with Andy Samberg is great. I’m a big fan of Brooklyn Nine-Nine too. Careful, or Sam Box may fall further in love with you (Andy Samberg is his idol). Okay, now we’ll go deep to finish. Are you in love and what makes you cry? Good closing questions! I’m not currently in love, no. And the thing that makes me cry is Sam’s power of photography over my twilight zone. Poetry at its finest! You can find Callum/ Cassandra slut dropping in a bar near you.

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THE CRAP CHRISTMAS CHRONICLES Get ready because despite being an exceptionally ‘merry’ and cheerful chap for 11 months of the year, come December I am ‘that guy’. I am not going to try and ruin your festivities but in the interest of balanced reporting, I’m will to delve into the reasons why Christmas is hell. The songs - there is nothing more intolerable about this time of year than hearing Mariah Carey scream the final ‘Youuuuuuuu’ in that god forsaken shitshow of a song. Actually, worse still is hearing everyone else attempt it. They are genuinely all bad, Al from Blue Note insists that Fairytale of New York is a banger - we agreed to disagree. I will be honest though that weird Cheeky Girls one is kinda groovy. The family ordeal - it’s nice seeing all those people you would never see or spend time with if they weren’t your family, right? It’s even better when they force you to partake in a non optional group hand-bell ringing rendition of jingle bells. Yay! The commercialisation - Nothing gives me less hope for humanity than when people get excited for the Coca Cola truck. Or for those overly emotional adverts made by John Lewis or M&S. If there is to be any joy in Christmas, it ought to be totally separate from these soulless money grabs. It’s not Christmas it’s a marketing scheme. Energy waste - this one may be a bit dubious but I’ve started now. There is nothing more disgusting than a garish light display adorning your house. Put up a few fairy lights if you must but remember: you aren’t trying to signal planes into your

driveway. Think of the polar bears who won’t 34 have a home because you quadrupled your energy bill trying to outdo your neighbour’s multi coloured, galloping effect, reindeer display. The food - A rare positive regarding Christmas is being able to buy 60 pigs in blankets without anyone asking any questions. However, this can easily be outweighed when the turkey comes out the oven dryer than a…(insert your own simile here). Secret Santa - Praise the lawd that it’s only a small team of us here at The Echo since it makes Secret Santa pointless. However, from past experience I am familiar with this test of mental strength. What on earth am I meant to get someone I don’t know or care about for under fifteen quid? Also how pleased am I meant to act when I open my present to find, oh wait, a Lynx shower kit? Actually I would really appreciate a Lynx shower kit this year, just not Lynx Africa please xx Christmas trees in general - We are meant to be saving the trees not cutting them down to put in the house for a couple of weeks. Don’t you know that global warming means we are running out of oxygen or something? Real trees have those pines that you will be finding until next November and if you have a fake tree, I mean why did you even bother? Christmas cards - I can’t say I have this problem yet but if I ever become an adult then this will end me. How do you decide who makes the list? From where do you get everyone’s address? What’s a stamp? Tough stuff. Obviously I’m joking and Christmas is great - let’s get clarted, I’ll see you there. Happy Hanukkah! Sam Xxx

22ND

23RD

Cocorico Après Ski Live Music: Queens of the Snow Stage

Hibou Curry Night - Curry & A Pint/Glass of wine for only €15. Served 14.30 - 21.30

Victors - Seasonaire Saturdays. Tacos & Tequila.

Cocorico Après Ski Live Music: Hobo Chic

Dick’s Tea Bar- Industry Night with DJ Megan (Tinta)

Fall Line - Prosecco Night

Le Lodge - DJ K2 11:30pm-1:30am Next Bar - Techno with DJ ASREL+guest Dick’s Tea Bar - Dirty Sundays with Alex Marshall

Folie Douce- First Cabaret: meet the dancers!

26TH La Folie Douce - WTF Party

Cocorico - Après Ski L

Vie Val d’Is - Free box

Cocorico - Après Ski Live Music: Eli & The Misfits

at the CCAS with Roma

Hibou - Boxing Day Wings

€50 bar tab, 2nd Prize -

Next Bar - Electro/Techno Party

Vie Val d’Is Free Boxi 8pm at the CCAS with

Dick’s Tea Bar - DJ Megan (Tinta) and Alex

Marshal

Le Hibou Quiz Night 2

Saloon - Heads or Tails

IN TOWN - Gospel co

the stage on the high st

Petit Danois - All the live sport action

Dick’s Tea Bar - LUNA

COCORICO - 2-4pm Happy Hour, Live Music every day from BLUE NOTE - Happy Hour with Hot Gin and Nibbles from 3 to 6pm FALL LINE - Happy Hour 3-5pm PETIT DANOIS - Happy Hour 2 for 1 on Beers and Drinks 4-5pm & 9-10pm. Food served all day. DJ Jack Igglesden every day from 10pm. TDC - There are still spaces to sign up to the seasonaire programme. Email valdisere@tdcski.com to register your interest. More sign-up nights in January!

24TH

25TH

SNOWFRONT- Christmas Show & torchlit descent of Le Face. Free vin chaud

Cocorico Après Ski Live Music: Wingmen

Blue Note - Ugly Christmas Jumper Party

Folie Douce - Christmas at La Folie Douce (come see Kely’s Ball Balls)

La Folie Douce - Discopolis Petit Danois - Festive & less festive Live music! 5pm - Mullit & The Machine. Free mince pies. The Fall Line - Christmas Eve Party Le Hibou: - 1.5ltr of Prosecco 40€ or 4€ a glass Cocorico - Live Music: The Blazin’ Strings

Planks - Drinks & Nibbles in the Planks store on Xmas eve from 6pm-8pm. Come one, come all! Next Bar: Open Decks (Bring Your Vinyls) Dicks Tea Bar: After Dinner Club Christmas Special (Sax & Violin)

27TH

Live Music: Maps

xing for beginners. 8PM ain

21.30 Kick off! 1st Prize Bottle of wine

ing for Beginners. h Romain

Dicks Tea Bar: Christmas at DTB with DJ Megan (Tinta) and Alex Marshall IN TOWN - Magic show with the famous Benjamin Lycan at the CCAS

Petit Danois - Christmas Dinner served at 1.30pm, 3.30pm & 6.30pm, by pre-booking only. Book Now! Bar Jacques - Special table dressing, normal menu, no pizza or pasta

28TH Cocorico Après Ski Live Music: Pink Miami IN TOWN - Off-the-wall live music on the stage in the high street from La Fanfara 25D. Free vin chaud Next Bar - BASS Music

s Night

oncert with Ladie’snow on treet. Free vin chaud

A: FDVM

UNDERGROUND - Après Ski Tapas from 17.00 LE PETIT CUISINE - Daily 12 - 3pm - Seasonaire Meal Deal VICTORS - Happy Hour 9-11pm & DJ Samvice Mon, Weds, Thurs, Fri LE LODGE - Happy Hour 4:30-7:30pm €4 large beer SALOON: 3-6pm Happy Hour 2 for 1 on beer wine and more. LE HIBOU - Five spice sprouts all week...sounds awful, tastes delicious! Closed Christmas Day

FESTIVE FROLICS There’s nowhere more festive to be for the Season of Good Cheer than the mountains, no matter what Sam ‘Grinch’ Box might say. New Year in Val is a glorious occasion with plenty of wholesome fun happening in town and on the snow-front. However, to prevent overcrowding, and utter mayhem, each bar tends to put on a ticketed event and you’ll get the most out of the night if you choose your bar and stick there for the night. We don’t have details of all the bar’s events yet, so check out next week’s edition for a fuller picture of the madness to choose from on New Year’s Eve. But get stuck into this week’s Crimbo celebrations first and get frollocking. HIBOU 5 Spice brussel sprouts are on the evening menu for the whole Christmas week. Christmas Eve: bottles of Prossecco will be 40€ and a glass is just 4€. Come and get sparkled up.

38 Live Sport at the Weekend and a Christmas Eve Party to make your mistletoe melt. TOWN EVENTS Christmas Eve Show & torchlight descent of Le Face by the French National Ski Team. Christmas Day - Magic show with the famous Benjamin Lycan at the CCAS All Week: Live bands and walk around acts at the main stage on the high street, with free vin chaud and chocolat chaud. PLANKS Christmas Eve: Drinks, Nibbles and Festive Cheer in the Planks store from 6pm-8pm. Come one, come all! BAR JACQUES Christmas Day: Lovely homely Christmas Day Meal with Bar Jacques. Normal menu, no pizza or pasta FOLIE DOUCE Christmas at La Folie Douce (come see Kely’s Ball Balls)

DICKS TEA BAR Christmas Eve - After Dinner Club Christmas BLUE NOTE Special (Sax & Violin). Wine and Champage Christmas Eve: Get Sleighed at Blue Note’s Specials Christmas Eve Ugly Christmas Jumper Party. Christmas Day - There’s no better way to end Don your most hideous lumpy sweater and Christmas Day than by dancing off all that join us for. Festive fun and cocktail Happy Hour stuffing at DTB with DJ Megan (Tinta) and Alex from 10-11.30pm. Marshall. New Year: Any Note to enter, with all proceeds NYE - Come and join Dick’s Tea Bar and party going to charity and Matt providing comedy all like it’s 1920... Resident DJ’s Megan (Tinta) and night on the door. Alex Marshall accompanied by live Sax and Violin all evening long. Let us take a few steps LE PETIT DANOIS back before taking a few steps forward. Tickets Christmas Eve-: Festive & less festive Live are 40€ each, which includes entry, cloak room music! 5pm - Mullit & The Machine. Free mince and a glass of champagne on arrival. Tickets pies. are 50€ on the door, but we expect it to be sold out well in advance of the night itself, so Christmas Day- Christmas Dinner served at booking early is recommended. Tables are 1.30pm, 3.30pm & 6.30pm, by pre-booking still available and come with five tickets.To only. Book Now! find out more, email to info@dicksteabar.com. Book Online - http://www.dicksteabar.com/ New Year’s Eve events/2018/12/31/a-19202-new-years-eve Tickets now on sale 20€. Usual Danois Fun and Madness. DJ playing all night (and we mean all night!) Breakfast served from 7am. LE LODGE NYE - Free Entry and DJ K2 on the Decks til FALL LINE 5am All your favourite Christmas films on the TVs.

TALK OF THE TOWN PUCO

The lovely chaps at Surefoot were treated to something of a show when the universities arrived this week. The line of students patiently waiting for their rental from Snowberry contained rather a few hungover faces. We were informed that one particular girl involuntarily purged her stomach three times. This was the pleasant sight the chaps were privvy to.

Gilets Jaunes

After hearing about this gaffe we are left wondering if Ben from Ski Bro may need to get out of resort more. ASkiBro - “Man, not only are the Gilets Jaunes f**king up Paris, looks like they might block the roads up here on transfer day.” Ben - “What’s Gilets Jaune?” ASkibro - “The Yellow Jackets.” Ben - “What, YSE?!”

Lookalike

Pat from Blue Note found himself somewhat famous after the last week’s edition’s lookalike. We were pleased to find out when recognised as the mermaid, he would proudly exclaim “NO. MERMAN”. Pat is so hot right now.

FAO The Echo

We received this photograph through the oddest of circumstances. We have no idea about the context or the reasoning. But here it is.

Tiedye Tarzan

A young Scotsman (hereforth known as Chalet Boy) had a rather unfortunate run in this week. A newly blossoming couple came home from a night out to enjoy some chips in the kitchen when who should come down from their friends bedroom but Chalet Boy. Chalet boy does not live in this apartment nor does he usually wear what was described as ‘a tiedye loin cloth’ to cover his modesty. One has to assume that he is Stay classy, Dan. not usually attempting to hide a semi either.

SPORT Le Petit Danois: Saturday Arsenal v Burnley 1.30pm Cardiff v Man Utd 6.30pm Sunday: Everton v Spurs 5pm Boxing Day: Fulham v Wolves 1.30pm Brighton v Arsenal 6.15pm Watford v Chelsea 8.30pm Thursday: Southampton v W. Ham 8.45pm Live Sport also shown at The Fall Line, Blue Note and Le Hibou.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

Steve Jobs - Apple

Jake - Doudoune