The Echo Week 2

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COVER ART By Dan Acciarito @rock_dan_roll Interview: Page 10

PROUDLY PRESENTED BY THE FOLIE DOUCE ART PROJECT Each week, the front cover of The Echo is going to be a different artwork produced by mostly local artists, but also several from further afield. This project is being very generously supported by La Folie Douce, whose contribution is allowing the artists to be paid ahead of time for their work, as both Folie and The Echo firmly believe in paying people for their skills. We want to encourage a community of creators and give people a space to use their talents, even if whilst out here, many are taking a break from “regular life”. Prints of the artwork are available to purchase on The Echo website, www.valecho. co.uk/shop, with profits going to the artists.

laging/ creating something in whatever medium takes your fancy, please get in touch by emailing contact@valecho.co.uk and we can discuss. Equally, if you’re interested in writing for the magazine or have ideas for a feature, drop us a line. At the end of the season, the plan is to hold an exhibition of all The Echo covers from the winter, and again Folie Douce is supporting this endeavour, as it fits with their creative vision. We can’t wait to see what the artists come up with each week and look forward to talking to them about their work and life in or

If you’re interested in drawing/painting/col-

out of the mountains.


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CONT ENTS Echo Publications CCK Intergalactic Ltd

www.valecho.co.uk contact@valecho.co.uk Please recycle the magazine once you have read it. Or better still, hand it on to someone else. Contributors Sam Box, Ben Pryor, Caitlin Kennedy, Georgie Baird

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RESORT GUIDE

The downlow on everything from the best restaurants to the numbers to call in an emergrcy.

SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST We chat to Dan Acciarito, the illustrator of this week’s cover art about life after Val D. The Cover Art is generously sponsored by La Folie Douce.

28 THE GREETING GRIND What to do, what not to do, and what definitely not to do when greeting people for the first time.

30 VIE VAL D’IS TO THE RESCUE Everything you need to know about the Vie Val d’Is Asssociation. And what they can do to help you.

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EVENT GUIDE

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THE TEN VAL COMMANDMENTS

What’s on this week: -Town events -Bar nights -Sporting competitions

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14 OUT OF THE BUBBLE

A satirical spin on the week’s events from further afield than the Espace Killy.

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LEGENDS OF VAL

Quickfire questions with our seasonaire of the week.

PRO GEAR TIPS

Tips from the experts at Snowberry on how to not die becuase of your skis.

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SPOTLIGHT ON THE ARTIST Spotlight On The Artist – Dan Acciarito

How is life beyond the grave, i.e. outside Val? Beyond the grave? Jesus... I’m not dead yet! It’s good be starting something new and going back to something old at the same time but no snowboarding is gonna be a killer... Plus leaving my Val fam after so long is hard. (Shout outs to Blue Note crew!) Do you tend to draw what you see in the world or what’s in your head? I guess I try to just make something that looks cool but I’m moving towards things that have an underlying message these days. Anything you find yourself drawing over and over again? Skulls and skeletons. I love that shit... Always have. Favourite medium to make art with? Pencil and pen but there’s something really satisfying about spray paint and you can’t really beat it for large scale work. Your van was beautifully painted and a very distinctive feature of Val whilst you were here. Do you still have it, what is his/her name and how did you go about

10 decorating it? Haha distinctive... I really loved that van! The mayor...not so much. I gave it away to an ex seasonaire who is hopefully giving it all the love it needs - it’s roaming around festivals the UK somewhere I think. It’s name was “The Fucken Grouse Trucking House” or “Truck House” for short. I painted it all with spray paint and skills from a misspent youth. Have you used or would you use your artistic abilities in a work capacity or do you prefer to keep them separate? Yeah I’ve done bits and pieces but that’s actually why I’ve moved home... I’m trying to become a tattoo artist and also try to get into sculpture and installation art. Although, right now I’ll do anything outside of sexual favours... (although I am negotiable...). We hardly need to ask the inspiration for your cover! But are you into classical art at all? Yeah for sure! I’m more into pop and contemporary art as a whole but I love line drawings (look up Albrecht Durer) and a lot of classical biblical masterpieces. It’s cool to see how they interpret these epic stories and moments into one picture. Finally, how many euros did you acquire from your time in Val? Not as many as some people might think but one season I had some pretty good returns on one particular investment... Plus I have some rare euros that are hard to come by... My personal favourite is from a tall bearded bar owner who shall remain nameless... Thanks Dan! Find Dan on Insta at @Rock_Dan_Roll


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PLANKS PHOTO COMPETITION

Each week the winner of the Planks Photo Competition wins themselves a Planks beanie from the flagship store in town. This week’s winner: Will Roderick Enter at www.valecho.co.uk/competitions

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OUT OF THE BUBBLE Theresa gonebyMay returned from Brussels with a deal EU leaders signed as eagerly as a teenage boy taking delivery of a Harrods lingerie catalogue. She has since embarked on a whistle-stop tour to polish a proverbial, appealing to the public and business leaders; none of them have owned a parliamentary vote since cash for questions so, unless grandstanding to show Brussels the old college try before a ready-money round in March, this is fruitless frottaging. The only thing parliament agrees on is anyone else driving this bus would have done a better job, even Stevie Wonder… if the bus was in Montgomery, Alabama… and it was 1955…

and he was on his way to a KKK rally.

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With the global economy in turmoil, a taxpayer-funded trip to Argentina for the G20 conference, a political Love Island with better steak, is a welcome refuge for an embattled world leader (as it has been since the mid Forties). Interesting discussions will abound: the Donald and MBS on press relations; the Donald and Xi Jinping on international diplomacy, and the Donald and Vladimir Putin on election campaigns. Emmanuel Macron and the Donald could close the conference singing Opposites Attract, though you’d have to worry if Macron dressed as MC Scat Kat given what the Donald does to a pussy. Trouble at home for France’s favourite gerontophile, as riots spread across the country due to fuel tax rises slated for January, with 5000 people massing on the Champs-


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Elysées wearing ‘gilets jaunes’ in protest. Macron’s comment, ‘You cannot be pro-environment on Monday and when Tuesday comes be against rising fuel prices’ is the kind of irrefutable logic which goes down like a fish milkshake with opponents, but should be deployed against those decrying Amazon and Google for tax evasion who wouldn’t forego a free internet search for the cheapest online deal in a month of Sundays. Indonesia has launched a ‘heresy app’ to report anyone practicing ‘unorthodox interpretations’ of its recognised religions; well, pass my lover a bacon sandwich. A teenager matched with his sister on Tinder; yes, that does mean they both swiped right and yes they do live in the US. PETA has demanded the village of Wool, derived from the Anglo-Saxon ‘welle’ meaning a water spring, change its name to Vegan Wool be-

cause it ‘promotes cruelty’; same could be said of their abuse of the English language. US Coast Guard reported a giant turtle, enmeshed in a rope holding 800Kg of cocaine worth £41m; bet it was Donatello. A former Miss Moscow, 25, has married Malaysia’s King Muhammad V, 49, after converting to Islam and taking the name Rihana; better hope that heresy app doesn’t get rolled out across the region. And finally, Poundland’s Christmas advert has come under fire for mocking Elton John’s advert for John Lewis, depicting one elf orally relieving another sat on top of his piano; wonder if he was singing ‘Can you Feel the Love Tonight’. Until next week, I’m off to drink from a woolly spring.


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LEGENDS OF VAL Every week we take a closer look into the fascinating lives of some of Val’s finest seasonaires. This week, the one and only - Georgina Baird

18 or another, did you even do a season in Val? Fair enough, it was pretty bad. What is your go-to drunk food? I’m not much of a chef, so monster munch ghosts are my go-to. But when that just won’t fill the void - pasta and cheese always seems to hit the spot! Not sure whether we ought to be flattered or concerned. What is your greatest achievement? This. Apart from attempting to source nutrition, do you have any goals for the season? Make my modelling career for The Echo a full time gig.

Hey Georgie, can you start by telling us why you are here? This is where I live my best life, it’s THE best place to be in the world! We thoroughly agree, who are you working for? I’m working part time for Precision ski, but I’m also a full time wing man... if you need my services call +44 7746 575832 Huge mistake giving your actual number, 100% publishing it. Now, what is your preferred watering hole? There are so many around town, this really is a hard one. You’re most likely to find me in Blue Note or Fall Line, depending on the time of night! Apparently this is not your first time in The Echo, would you care to enlighten us as to your previous escapades? Hmmm, I may just breeze over this one... all I’ll say is that if you don’t get hideously embarrassed by The Echo at some point

We are actually looking for a full time life model to start immediately. Do you have any advice for fresh seasonaires? No one will, but pace yourself - you’ve got 5 whole months to drink away your liver and ruin your bones on the mountain! Thank you for taking the time to chat! Hopefully you will get through the season without any pharmacy related incidents...


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PRO GEAR TIPS

If your employer has an arrangement with a local shop who lends equipment to you free for the season, you’ll probably be picking your skis up very soon. One of the most important things is to make sure your bindings are set properly and safely, to minimise the risk of serious injury and a ruined season –a torn knee ligament can take a lot longer to heal than a broken bone! Ski bindings are pretty sophisticated pieces of kit and they have to perform a difficult balancing act between holding your boot securely on the ski in normal skiing and releasing it quickly in a fall so that your knee isn’t twisted while stuck in the ski. Both functions are equally important – a “pre-release” where the ski comes off for no apparent reason can have equally serious consequences. Without going too much into the details of it, this involves the ski shop working out how tightly they need to compress the springs in the heel and toe pieces to create the optimum pressure for each individual so that the binding holds when it should and releases when a fall becomes inevitable. All Alpine bindings these days have a common numbered scale which defines how tightly the spring is compressed. All the shop has to do is to work out which number is the appro-

priate one for each client and tighten the spring till the indicator reaches that number. There are various of methods of doing this, from a scientific calculation involving the diameter of the tibia to the “take a look at the client and guess” method! Most reputable ski shops however use either the method laid down by ISO norms or, in France, the slightly different AFNOR (French standards authority) norm. To do this, the shop should ask your weight, height and age as well as your ‘skier type”. This isn’t just a question of whether you’re a beginner, intermediate or advanced skier, it’s also to do with your aggression and style. Lastly they should take your boot sole length into account too – the length of the “lever” affects the amount of torque applied to the binding in a fall. Finally, a couple of warnings:Don’t over-estimate your ability or under-estimate your weight! Both have a significant effect on the correct and safe setting. You’ll improve quickly over the season, so don’t forget to go back to the shop to change your binding setting. (You might need to upgrade your skis too). Watch out for boots that are too big – too much movement in the boot dilutes or delays the force exerted on the bindings and can mean they don’t release when they should. And watch out for bindings that are way past their sell by date.


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OFF PISTE SNOW REPORT

24 level, or non-existent.

Meteo-France’s daily snow bulletins won’t start appearing for another week or so. In Report on the current snow conditions for the meantime, some resorts are producing Off-Piste skiers, and a look at the coming their own local avalanche risk estimations. week’s weather. Brought to you by Henry’s Val d’Isère’s current avalanche risk is estiAvalanche Talks. mated at 2 on the European scale of 5. See our descriptions of what all the avalanche Off piste snow and weather report 29 danger ratings mean. Nov – 5 Dec for Savoie, French Alps There are areas of windslab around to Wayne Watson off piste Val d’isere watch out for, which can be triggered by For some lucky high-altitude resorts of the off-piste skiers on steep slopes. We need N French Alps, the early season is off to to watch out for this, as well as thinking a great start! In Val d’Isere, there’s some about rock avoidance. There have been a lovely off-piste skiing to be found above few incidents of slab avalanches being trig2500 m. It is much more limited at lower gered by ski tourers on N’ish facing slopes, altitudes. The best quality off-piste snow mainly in the S Alps. is above 2500 m, on N facing slopes. With recent cold temperatures, snow conditions Detailed weather forecast for 1 – 8 Dec have been great all week. We’ve benefited (from Google Translate – creative interprefrom regular small top-ups of 5 to 15 cm tation required!) of fresh snow, which have made for some beautiful skiing on nearly deserted slopes. We’ve been finding bits of gorgeous light powder, sometimes even right next to the piste. In more exposed areas, the snow has been wind-compressed, and tougher to ski. We’ve also been able to find strips of deeper powder, e.g. in gullies where the snow’s collected, having been blown in by the wind. Unfortunately, it’s due to get a bit milder over the next few days, so these light snow conditions may not stay much longer. SATURDAY DECEMBER 1 The main off-piste risks to look out for at In the mountains, after early cloud, the sun the moment are hitting rocks and obstacomes back for a few hours and then the cles. Many of these are buried just beneath sky is overcast in the afternoon and for the the snow surface, and at best can cause whole night (light snowflakes). The north some nasty damage to your skis. The snow wind then Northwest at altitude (40 then 60 pack’s still shallow: While it may be around km / h). Temperatures rising from 0 / -2 to 8 60 cm deep on shaded slopes above degrees at 1000 m and from -4 – / – 6 to -1 3000m, it’s down to just a few cm at resort / + 2 at 2000 m.


25 are declining seriously. To confirm. Tip of the week

SUNDAY 2 Grey everywhere with clouds in the mountain. Precipitation, initially low and scattered, becomes regular and sometimes moderate in the afternoon and until midnight. Snow only above 2200 m despite some brief flakes around 1800 m in the morning (10 to 25 cm towards 2500 m). The northwest wind is strong in altitude (gusts up to 80 km / h from 3000 m). Temperatures change from 0 / -3 to 4 degrees around 2000 m (isothermal 0 degrees temporarily at 2200 then around 2700 m). MONDAY 3 and TUESDAY 4 very wet then dry and very mild Monday, windy in altitude (northwest 60 to 80 km / h) and rain (snow only above 2400 m). Tuesday, after probable cloud banks, we find a sun, sometimes veiled. Temperatures rise significantly from 4/7 to 11/13 degrees up to 1000 m (isothermal 0 degrees from 2200 to 2700 m). WEDNESDAY 5 and THURSDAY 6 Very mild. A bit of sun, clouds and passing light rain are on the agenda these days while the temperature level is still abnormally high. Westerly wind less strong. FRIDAY 7 and SATURDAY 8 A new storm from the Northwest and cooler. The bad weather LOOKS to arrive with precipitation probably a lot, and suggesting a possibility of significant snow accumulation on the mountains. The temperatures

The HAT checklist (or Framework, as we call it) has “being well prepared” as one of its three answers to the question “Is it safe out there?” This means being well prepared for a companion search and rescue – “prepared” to get the victim out in 15 minutes or less. Check your equipment, and get trained on how to use it. HAT runs some great transceiver training events in the UK, as well as in Val d’Isère. You can make sure all works, so you can mend or replace things – particularly your transceiver, shovel and probe. Get it out, examine it all and make sure you know how to use it. Always do a transceiver partner check (making sure everyone’s transmit and search functions work) before you set off. We’ll be publishing a blog on this next week! Ensure your transceiver batteries are working, and functioning on at least 70%. (Remember they use a lot more power on ‘search’ mode).


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THE GREETING GRIND The start of the season can be a truly stressful time. For a lot of people, these are new surroundings full of strangers: many of whom have different customs and greetings. For starters, how are you to know who you will ever actually meet again out of the hundreds of people you meet in these fateful first weeks? You’ve given your number to countless people who you say you will shred with, but how much of this social graft is actually worth while? Only time will tell (none of it). But the real barrier is not language or whether you ski/board/snow scoot, oh no. The real trial of your social abilities is tested in the greeting. The possibilities are endless but here are some of the options available to you: A simple handshake A hearty fist bump A slappin slap tap A super cool high five A high ten with savage eye contact One of those weird grabby handshakes where the thumbs go above Same again but then you pull it in for a bro hug A very British nod of the head from a safe distance A short awkward hug An overly long hug A hug and a kiss A hug and a kiss on both cheeks A hug and a good tonguing (don’t do this) You should practise a few of these in the mirror before heading out into the wider

28 world. AND NOW IT IS TIME. You are at the bar, being introduced to some geezer or lass that your mate has some tenuous connection with. You go in for the hug and double kiss but feel their fist in your ribs as you lean in because they were hoping for a fist bump. Your kisses do not hit their target - the whole bar goes quiet and everyone starts staring at you as if you just attempted a crude, slightly racist joke. Here is a three point guide on how you avoid these types of conundrums 1. Come in strong and slow with your greeting, make your intentions clear. 2. Try to have done the necessary reconnaissance, if the subject is French or has lived here for a while then the hug double kiss may be the best option. 3. If things do go pear shaped, excuse yourself from the situation and leave town. Hopefully this helps and we can all avoid any unnecessary mishaps. The awkwardness from a grabbed fist bump can start avalanches many miles away so it is in everyone’s best interest to get clued in. Final note: If you see me about, I am privy to a hand shake, a fist bump or a hug, if you try any alien shit on me you will end up being shamed in The Echo. Lots of love, Sam xxx


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VIE VAL D’IS TO THE RESCUE The Vie Val d’Is and the work that they do to make life better for seasonal or full time residents of Val d’Isère can sometimes go unnoticed, so we took the opportunity to put them in the limelight and discover everything they offer.

INSURANCE If, god-forbid, you have an accident whilst on the mountain, it can be extremely costly to be rescued from the hill, getting up to a crushing €788 from certain off-piste areas. That’s the equivalent of 197 Happy Hour pints. But the Vie Val d’Is have you covered. Just one of the benefits of the Vie Val d’Is card is free mountain rescue from anywhere on the mountain, on or off piste. The insurance covers your transport all the way to the hospital, and not only that, it’ll cover rescue for participation in any sport (excluding airborne sports and motor-sports) anywhere in France for an entire year. Note that it’s still advisable to purchase long-trip, winter sports insurance, as any hospital bills will not be covered.

DISCOUNTS There’s a staggering list of discounts to benefit from with your Vie Val d’Is card, highlights of which include: - 15% off in all of Val’s supermarkets - 15% off all season passes at the Aquasport Leisure complex, or 10 pass bundles - Big saving for entry to the World Standard Tignes Climbing Wall. - Genepi Galore! Complementary genepi after a meal at many restaurants in town.

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- Savings in a whole heap of bars and restaurants. The full list of reductions can be found on the Vie Val d’Is website.

HEALTH AND SUPPORT Half way through the season is Health Day, when you can see pretty much any healthcare professional completely free for advice and testing. The Vie Val d’Is also partners with the Pelican Association, a group committed to helping combat drug and alcohol addiction. They’ll be in Val once a month to offer confidential information and advice. Outside of these times, the team can help put you in contact with a medical professional, such as a psychiatrist and provide info free blood and STI testing in Bourg once a week. Walk in appointments.

ACTIVITIES Unbeknownst to many, The VVD organises free workshops every day of the week for members of the association. These include French and English lessons, with a language exchange at the end of each session when you get a chance to put your newly learned communication skills to the test. These take place on Monday evenings at 7pm. Check out The Echo’s event listings for more details of what’s on with the Vie Val d’Is. Less regular events are thrown too, such as the Seasonaire’s Welcome Party on the 20th December, with free buffet, drinks and live music.

AVALANCHE SAFETY TALKS Every few weeks, the Association puts on Free Avalanche Awareness Talks with Mark Jones, a BASI trainer of the highest level and


31 founder of ICE Ski Coaching. These talks are free and open to anyone, even if you don’t have a Vie Val d’Is card. However, if you do, it is possible to rent Avalanche safety gear (transceiver, shovel, probe and ABS bag) for 2€ a day after having attended one of these sessions.

ENVIRONMENT Ecomoves is an organisation that incentivises using sustainable alternatives to disposable plastic cups. At all Vie Val d’Is and ESF events, you can pick up an Eco-cup for a 1€ deposit, and use it to pick up vin chaud and other drinks. The group also provide free portable ash trays to take up the mountain whilst skiing. Even if cigarette butts aren’t visible during the winter months, come summer, they have to be cleaned up, as the mountain is used for animal grazing amongst other things. This leads on to another initiative that the Vie Val d’Is organises, Environment Day, during which volunteers, scour the mountain for litter to help keep our incredible mountainous home clean. The Vie Val d’Is Office is located in the Maison de Val and is open Monday to Friday, with a break at lunch time. The Vie Val d’Is card costs 21 yozzas and you’ll need to take down a contract, which specifies your employment in Val d’Isère. Oh and the staff are the friendliest, most helpful people you could hope for!


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THE 10 VAL COMMANDMENTS 1. Thou shalt drink ones’ beverage by means of a shoe as a vessel if thou knocketh over ones previous beverage or the beverage of another. 2. Thou shalt not have a gaper gap. 3. Thou shalt pay on demand the sum of one euro to he or she who hath lain (in the biblical sense) with one whom you hath subsequently bedded. 4. Thou shalt never, EVER, traverse a road or pavement with skis on unless thou wisheth to be mocked without mercy on the page of seasonaires. 5. Thou shalt always be clothed in the appropriate attire when thou partakes in Monoskiing. Think glaring and 80s. 6. Thou shalt not asketh for free drinks in any of the fine drinking establishments of this town. Really, just stop. 7. Thou shalt not skieth off piste without the adequate training and equipment. Always be prepared. 8.Thou shalt always remember ones friends on a night out and ne’er let one who hath consumed too much alcohol embark on a journey alone (excepting powder days). Thou shalt ne’er have friends on a powder day 9. Thou shalt not be seen in a photograph with the Val d’Isère sign. If there exists a photograph of this nature, thou art a punter. 10. Thou shalt not litter the mountain with cigarette butts. If thou dost, thou art a feral turd of a human. (Side note, The Vie Val d’Is provides portable ash trays free of charge at their office in the Maison de Val.)

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TALK OF THE TOWN An act of kindness

Serial Arsonist On The Loose

Fellow members of the community, it is A gentleman at Moris pub very kindly apwith the utmost seriousness that we must proached two strangers the other day and inform you about a serial arsonist on the let them know that he owned the pub and loose. Will Roderick, 23 has twice in three that any drinks they wanted were on him. days tried to burn down ‘Gaff De La Gaff’, This is exactly the kind of humility we need one of Val d’Iseres finest seasonal residencin the resort and does not go unnaprecies. Will only seems to get a hankering for ated. However, the gentleman in question man’s red flower after a big night out. He did not own the bar and the two strangers comes home, often leaving the front door he approached happened to be the Moris wide open (presumably to bellow the fire) area managers. It’s the thought that counts. and turns the cooker on before calling it a night and going to bed. When one morning you wake up to the tragic news of the The Hangover: Val D passing of the best skier on the mountain, What would you do on your last night in Val D? Fair. But what would you do on your I want everyone to remember me for who I was. One can only assume Will was trying third last night in Val D? Ant decided that to slow cook these noisettes. this was a big enough occasion to splash out on a taxi. A taxi from Coin des Amis to Blue Note, a journey of about 30 metres. And it wasn’t a taxi, it was his mate who had kindly offered to take him home. On arrival in Blue Note, Ant proceeded to buy everyone shots of Genepi, ballroom dance with strangers and arm wrestle on the floor. The scene is even more absurd if you imagine Ant donning a three piece suit - because he was.

Quote of the Week

It seems like Sam of the Echo has a hankering for nannies. Upon hearing of a certain institution by the name of “Jelly and Ice Cream”, Boxy enthusiastically proclaimed “We need to go there! I haven’t had ice cream since I got here”. Someone tell him he’s in for a very different kind of treat.


Caught with his pants down

Everybody’s friend, Ross, decided to have a little nap on his first night back in Val. A little nap is fine, a little nap in the pub is less fine, a little nap on the toilet in the pub is less fine still. As the staff were winding down, they heard a strange sound eminating from the bathroom. As it turned out Ross had failed to wake up from his nap and had passed out. In heoric fashion, Matt busted down the door with a screwdriver and came to Ross’s recue. This was the sight he was welcomed to.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

French Louis Theroux Louis Theroux

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