Valley Bugler Newspaper February 2015 by Valley Bugler Newspaper

Page 2 • Valley Bugler • February 2015

From the Editor’s Desk

Ah, Love! Or, for others, it’s ACK, LOVE! And for others, it’s Oh. Love. Whatever your take on this month that brings “love” to the forefront, we just want to get this out of the way. We love you. Yes, it’s a little sappy, but at least I didn’t send out those little naked babies to shoot you with arrows... We absolutely love our readers and clients, and this is the month that we get to make a larger than normal exclamation! Somehow, for most of you, I get the feeling that it’s a mutually reciprocated emotion. “I love the Bugler!” is the main statement that we hear over and over throughout the year. Posts on our facebook page, lots of phone calls and even the occasional letter via snail mail finds its way to us in order to say, “I love you”. Well, by golly, I’m glad! I’m absolutely tickled that people around our neck of the woods find enjoyment contained within these pages. Whether it’s a silly joke you share with your friends, or an article that piqued your interest, we love helping you love the Bugler. There’s also another facet of love that needs to be discussed, and that’s when one of our clients, Utilize I.T., dons the superhero cape and flies to the rescue. To say that we love the staff at Utilize I.T. would literally be an understatement. Imagine this. All of your Publisher’s trusty files from 2014 and many

years prior were on an external hard drive, since they are so mega-huge and can’t live on her computer. Life was so happy until one day in the not-so-distant past, such named hardrive decided to move on into the netherworld of dead computers, quite unexpectedly. Said Publisher is in Seattle, and took the dead hard drive to not one, not two, but THREE professional companies who claim to be the best in the business. Each answer was the same. It’s toasted, dude. After your dedicated Publisher pulled herself up from the floor, where she had collapsed in a tearful heap, your Publisher’s hero of a husband, Oscar Myre IV offered to take the dead hard drive down with him on a business consultation to Utilize I.T. Willing to try anything and everything in order for her files to be recovered, the Publisher said a prayer and fervently wished for a reincarnation of her ‘toasted’ files to miraculously occur. One could only hope. Donning the superhero cape of every superhero imagineable combined into one, the staff at Utilize I.T. not only recovered ALL FILES from the “toasted” hard drive, but immediately sent your Publisher some very important individual files via eMail. And thus the story goes. Utilize I.T. can be reached, with all their superhero powers, at 1015 Vandercook Way in Longview and by phone at: (360)423-8200. See their ad that runs every single month in support of your community paper on p.15!!

Publication Information Valley Bugler, LLC

Longview, WA (360)414-1246 www.ValleyBugler.com eMail: editor@valleybugler.com

Editor/Publisher................................Michelle Myre Cover Design / Web Mngr.............omOriginals Marketing! (360)575-9839 Cover Photography.........................Jessica Lemmons; Bell Studios Distribution.........................................Diana Jones Advertising Sales.............................Michelle Myre Columnists.........................................Listed below Paddy Burrow - Fruits & Nuts Georgia Butterfield - Adorable Adoptee Georgia Cox - Castle Rock Seniors Ray Miles - Shop Talk - LAST COLUMN.... Oscar Myre IV - Geek Speak Blake Peterson - Movie Reviews /valleybuglernewspaper PeaceHealth - Living Well Laurrie Piland - Baked Lava Pat Nelson - Window to Woodland **The Valley Bugler newspaper publishes content supplied from the above columnists, and is not responsible for factual mistakes or anything other than the occasional spelling error. The Valley Bugler does not endorse views expressed, but retains a neutral stance on all issues presented.**

www.valleybugler.com

EMAIL: EDITOR@VALLEYBUGLER.COM Utilize I.T. -- THANK YOU. I simply can’t thank you enough for the amazing work you are able to provide, and in keeping the computers and hard drives of our area working. ☺♥☺ Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you readers and clients, friends and family. Make it a special time to show

those around you just how much you really love them and that you have them in your life. Cheers! Michelle Myre Publisher / Editor

Happy Valentine’s Day from The Valley Bugler Newspaper

February 2015 • Valley Bugler • Page 3

Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation Banquet

NUNSENSE...it’s habit forming! Love Street Playhouse Feb.13-28th

Join the hilarity of this loved musical comedy with five zany nuns...see caption credits at end of article. Photos by Darcie Elliott Photography.

Join the Little Sisters of Hoboken as they lead you not into temptation through Creator, Dan Goggin’s hail of fun and frolic. Opening on Friday, February 13th with a special dinner performance the show runs through February 28th, 2015. NUNSENSE begins when the Little Sisters of Hoboken discover that their cook, Sister Julia, Child of God, has accidentally poisoned 52 of the sisters. In dire need of funds for the burials, the sisters decide to raise the money by putting on a variety show at the Love Street Playhouse, in Woodland, Washington. Come meet Reverend Mother Mary Regina, a former circus performer; Sister Mary Hubert, the Mistress of Novices; a streetwise nun from Brooklyn named Sister Robert Anne; Sister Mary Leo, a novice who is a wannabe ballerina; and the delightfully wacky Sister Mary Amnesia, the nun who

lost her memory when a crucifix fell on her head. Featuring star turns, tap dancing and ballet, an audience quiz, preshow Bingo and comic surprises, this show has delighted audiences with more than 5000 productions worldwide and has been translated into 21 languages. Director, Tony Bump, returns to Love Street Playhouse where he has previously directed other classics, and the design team for NUNSENSE includes Patricia Rohrbach (Costume Coordinator), Joe Jenkins (Lighting Designer), Joann Grandon (Assistant to the Director) and the Production Stage Manager is Rebekah Krohn. Returning to Love Street Playhouse from a year-long sabbatical, NUNSENSE is produced by Melinda Leuthold, the theatre’s Owner and Producing Artistic Director. “I am thrilled to be opening our doors again. Our audiences will enjoy all of our up-

Saturday • March 14th It’s time to gear up and get ready to enjoy one of the most anticipated fundraisers of the season - the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation Banquet. Firearms, High Quality Merchandise, and FUN await those attending. Located at the Cowlitz County Expo Center, this will be a fast paced, high energy banquet, and the winning will begin as soon as the doors open at 4:30pm. Military heroes have a special raffle

just for them. Additional special raffles will have you salivating for more. Why do we do this? 90% of funds go directly to the mission of helping ensure the future of wild elk and our hunting lifestyle. Things tend to get a little lively and it only happens one night per year, so don’t miss it! Call: (360)425-9611 Dan Howell or (360)636-6148 Randy Hall http://rmef.org [See ad same pg.]

coming productions this year.” The talented sisters of NUNSENSE are: Gayle Beacock (Sister Mary Leo); Kim Dewey (Sister Robert Ann); Corrie Graham (Mother Regina); Ashley Hall (Sister Mary Amnesia); and Lorraine Little (Sister Mary Hubert). NUNSENSE will play the following performance schedule: February 14, 19, 20, 21, 25, 26, 27, 28 at 7:30pm, February 22 at 2:00pm and a special Dinner Performance is scheduled for February 13th with Reservations required. Tickets are on sale now and run $13 - $16 for the performances and $55 for the Dinner performance. Tickets may be purchased by visiting the theatre’s website at: www.lovestreetplayhouse.com Or by calling (360)907-9996. Love Street Playhouse theatre is also home to a popular Youth Theatre Program which conducts classes and summer camp programs for children ages 8-18. More details to come this year, or visit the website.

Love Street Playhouse is located at 126 Loves Avenue in Woodland, Washington. Local business sponsors and advertisers contributing to the Love Street Playhouse include the Port of Woodland, Columbia Bank, Woodland Truckline, Columbia River Carbonates, Lee and Tim Welch of Woodland on behalf of the Woodland Pool Committee, True Value Hardware of Woodland, Mosby Insurance on Longview, and Erica Rodman of Woodland Real Estate. Photo Captions: Photo on Left: from front left Ashley Hall (Sister Mary Amnesia), Corrie Graham (Mother Superior), Kim Dewey (Sister Robert Ann), Back from left Gayle Beacock (Sister Mary Leo) and Lorraine Little (Sister Mary Hubert). Photo on Right: from left Ashley Hall (Sister Mary Amnesia) of Vancouver, Gayle Beacock (Sister Mary Leo) of Vancouver, Corrie Graham (Mother Superior) of Ridgefield, Lorraine Little (Sister Mary Hubert) of Longview and Kim Dewey (Sister Robert Ann) of Vancouver. Photos: Darcie Elliott Photography

Page 4 • Valley Bugler • February 2015

The Go Red Tea for Women Focuses on Heart Disease Awareness, With a Dash of Humor from Comedian Susan Rice Friday, February 6th RSVP - Expected to be sold out $5 Per Person Includes Light Lunch, Door Prizes and a special Gift RSVP: (360)423-3333 Heart Disease is no laughing matter, but throw in Nationally acclaimed Comedian Susan Rice into the pot and the laughs are sure to flow. Right alongside the important learning and information on Heart Disease for Women. PeaceHealth Medical Group and Koelsch Senior Communities have partnered together to bring back this informative and fun afternoon of Hearts and Tea for Women. “It really came back into life after being gone for a few years because of popular demand by the community. We’re excited to help with this educational opportunity,” stated Diane Craft, Community Relations and Special Projects Manager for Koelsch Senior Communities. Craft, wanting to make this reemergence of the Go Red Tea something special, reached out to her long time friend and RA Long grad, Susan Rice. Who also happens to be a world famous comedian, opening to such comedy routines as Roseann Barr. “She’s truly hilarious. And when she heard it was about Heart Disease, she jumped at the chance to put on a family friendly routine. She has some heart issues herself. It

Happy Birthday, Auntie Aimee!! We are blessed to have you in our family! Congratulations on your successful Doctoral schooling, and now we call you Dr. Aimee!! We are so proud of you and look forward to a fantastic future!

Valley Bugler contest!!

Susan Rice

will be really personal for her,” said Craft. If you’re interested in attending the Go Red Tea for women, please call to RSVP as soon as possible. The event is expected to sell out quickly. Be sure to deck yourself out in RED as you attend this very fun and informational Tea for Women. Almost a decade of years ago, the American Heart Association presented “Go Red for Women,” a movement providing information to women about cardiovascular disease. Subsequently, the National “Wear Red” Day was placed on February 6th in order to raise awareness in the fight against heart disease in women. Traditionally, we think about men being the primary victims of heart disease, but each year, it claims the lives of hundreds of thousands of women. Heart disease can develop at any age, so it’s crucial that you make health conscious-decisions that will benefit you now and in the long run. Don’t smoke, drink in moderation, and focus on getting exercise. www.goRedForWomen.org [See ad on p.10]

WIN a Front of the Line PASS to the America’s Got Talent Auditions!

Nothing celebrates the American spirit like “America’s Got Talent.” Entering into its milestone Season 10, auditions for NBC’s hit summer series kicked off in November and continues through early 2015 with a stop in Tacoma, WA on February 9th. The Valley Bugler Newspaper is giving YOU an opportunity to strut your stuff by flashing your “Front of the Line” Pass as one of our five winners in the “Bugler’s Talent Contest”. Skirt by everyone else waiting for hours in line -- and audition when you want. Baton twirling? Magician? Singer? Guitarist? Musicans? Bands? Group Athletes? Fire Eaters? Gymnast? You name it - we’re looking for your short video that includes your name and at least 15-25 seconds of your talent. Submissions are on our FaceBook page ONLY:

facebook.com/valleybuglernewspaper Submit your talented video for consideration of winning ONE of FIVE Front of the Line Passes for the Auditions to the reality TV Show, ‘America’s Got Talent’. Your Valley Bugler contest entries have to be posted BY FEBRUARY 7th, and you must be planning on auditioning on the 9th in Tacoma. Winners will be chosen by the Pub-

lisher of the Valley Bugler Newspaper, and all ages and talents will be considered. Make the choices tough!! Contest applicants can be any age, with any type of talent to showcase, just like the Auditions for America’s Got Talent. You want to get those videos made, or send your short snibbet to us at our facebook page by February 7th. With celebrity judges Howie Mandel, Mel B, Heidi Klum and Howard Stern, along with host Nick Cannon, America’s Got Talent remained the #1 summer show in total viewers for a ninth year in a row! Last year’s winner was magician Mat Franco, demonstrating it really is an open playing field for your act and talent, where any age and any talent compete in front of a nationwide audience. “We are really excited to kick off season 10 in some of the most incredible cities in the nation, and can’t wait to see what this year brings,” said Executive Producer Jason Raff. “Celebrating a decade of talent, this next round of auditions is destined to bring us acts unlike we’ve seen before.” The 5 winners of the Valley Bugler’s Front of the Line Passes will be showcased in the March issue, along with a complete report of the Auditions on February 9th in Tacoma. GET IN YOUR ENTRIES IN ASAP! facebook.com/valleybuglernewspaper Official AGT Website: www.nbc.com/agt

February 2015 • Valley Bugler • Page 5

AmeriCorps Members Impact Community on MLK Day At Left: From left to right; Hillary Jensen, Paige Baldwin, and Mara Earls, AmeriCorps members, volunteered as part of the service day on January 19th, by working on the outdoor planters. Pictured below, another AmeriCorps member, Karen Clark, helps assist with her artistic side at the Highlands Community Center in Longview, WA.

On January 19th, 2015, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the Cowlitz AmeriCorps Network (CAN) joined millions of other citizens across America to continue the spirit of service that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke of and answered the question ”What are you doing for others?” As a team, CAN partnered with the Highland Neighborhood Association and together we started working on: a documentary of people living in the Highlands; painted the ceilings of the Community Center; got the outdoor planters ready for planting; cleaned a garage; cleaned Archie Anderson Park; and donated furniture to a local non-profit. We also helped setup the inside of the center by: setting up the children’s library, and completing the setup of the kitchen. In the afternoon we continued the spirit of service by centering our attention on the children of the Highlands. Home Depot partnered with us and had kits for the kids to work on so it was noisy! Our CAN team made a mural of a tree with many branches and we used the children’s handprints representing the leaves. As time goes on, the Highland Neighborhood Association can add handprints to the tree to represent the children who use the center. We also

had the neighborhood residents and children paint on 16” x 16” wooden squares that will be hung around the fence outside of the Highland Community Center for a community spirit type of feel. The Red Cross also partnered with us and did a presentation on emergency awareness for the children. The children were then given a pillow case to color on and the pillowcase had instructions on it that reminded them of what to take in an emergency. The parents that stayed with their kids learned great information as well. It was a full, fun day. We had several community members attend the event. If you are interested in learning more about the services that the CAN team provide the community, please contact our office by calling our staff at 360-577-5859 or feel free to email us at jbergman@lifeworkswa.org

One of Nashville’s Hottest New Stars Perform on Valentine’s Day at Columbia Theatre Cookin’ Country 105.5, KUKN has scheduled their next New Faces Acoustic Concert at the Columbia Theatre for Valentine’s Day, Saturday February 14th at 7:00pm. Capitol Records Nashville’s Mickey Guyton will perform. “We have teamed up with the biggest record labels in Nashville to bring tomorrow’s stars to Longview for an up-close and personal acoustic show. People will not only be able to see the stars perform live, but will also be able to meet them after the show. Mickey is poised to be a huge star and this is a great opportunity to see and meet her now,” said KUKN General Manager/Program Director John Paul. Mickey Guyton recently played at The White House for a PBS-TV concert series and was named by Billboard as one of the top 10 new stars to watch in 2015. This is a great chance to see an acoustic show with your sweetheart or those that you love. Grab a group of friends and make it a Valentine’s Day concert to remember, listening to one of Nashville’s up and coming stars. Tickets are $15 in advance and

$20 at the door. They are available at Bob’s Sporting Goods, online at www.kukn.com, or call 575-TIXX. [Above photo: Mickey Guyton, Submitted by KUKN.] You can find out more about Mickey Guyton at www.mickeyguyton.com “I love life, music, my family and my friends. And I would give them the world if I could. Guess that’s my mission in this lifetime.” - Mickey Guyton

Spring Art Show • Call for Artists Area artists are invited to participate in the Columbian Artists 39th Annual juried Spring Art Show to be held March 21st through April 12th at the Three Rivers Mall, 3513 Three Rivers Drive, Kelso, WA (Space D-1168, just down from Macy’s). The Show is open to artists 18 years old and older from Cowlitz, Clark, Wahkiakum Lewis and Pacific Counties in Washington, and Clatsop and Columbia Counties in Oregon. Entries must be original, two dimensional work, completed in the past two years. Work will be judged and awards given. Entries will be received on Monday, March 16th, from 10am to 5pm, at the Three Rivers Mall. A prospectus with details regarding

rules, categories, sizes, etc., and an entry form are available on our website www.columbianartists.org. They are also available at the Broadway Gallery in Longview and the Tsuga Gallery in Cathlamet, or by calling: 360-425-0142 (Carol) 360-274-2882 (Alan) Entries: Open to artists 18+ from Cowlitz, Clark, Wahkiakum, Lewis and Pacific Counties in WA and Clatsop and Columbia Counties in OR. Entries accepted on March 16th at Three Rivers Mall. Media accepted are Oils, Watercolors, Acrylics. Mixed Media includes pastels, pen/pencil, hand pulled prints, collages, and mixed media. For info and entry regs, go to site: www.columbianArtists.org

Thank you for Reading! Show our Advertisers support and let them know you saw their ads here in The Valley Bugler!

Page 6 • Valley Bugler • February 2015

Castle Rock Library Book Sale February is:

Friends of the Castle Rock Library are excited to offer another Book Sale. Friday, February 20th from 11am to 6pm and Saturday, February 21st from 10am to 3pm. In the back room of the library,

located at 137 Cowlitz Street West, you will find hardback books for .50¢, paperback books for .25¢, Children’s books for .25¢ and .10¢, VHS videos for .25¢ and DVD’s for .50¢.

Wedding Day Funnies Too much speeding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But, officer,” the man began, “I can explain” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say” “And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!” A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.” “Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

My daughter is your reward Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, “My dear guests...I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!” As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large

splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed. He said, “My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn’t think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?” The guy says, “Listen, I don’t want your money, nor do I want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that water!” Someone really stinks A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?” Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, “Now how do I tell my husband that I’ve got really bad breath? I’ve been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but he’s bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?” The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, “Darling, I’ve a confession to make.” And she says, “So have I, love.” To which he replies, “Don’t tell me, you’ve eaten my socks.”

The Association for the Study of African American Life and History was established on September 9th, 1915 by Dr. Carter G Woodson. The founders of Black History Month, the ASALH’s mission is to promote, research, preserve, interpret and disseminate information about Black life, history and culture to the global community.

This year, the theme is “A Century of Black Life and History”, and it was chosen to mark the 100th anniversary of the 1915 Association of ASALH birthday. The ASALH (Association for the Study of African American Life and History), continues to promote the study of Black history all year.

Hopeless End vs. Endless Hope By Paddy Burrow Valley Bugler Columnist

‘Hopeless End vs. Endless Hope’.

Heard this phrase yesterday in a sermon preached by Pastor John at Castle Rock Christian Church, and it got me to thinking once again about Jesus and what a difference He has made in my life! Life without Jesus, no matter how busy or full of people, places and things, is still...well, empty of certainty, true joy and eternal purpose. His unconditional love and fierce determination to forgive me of my sins so that there would be no barrier between us, at least on His side, was what finally broke through my rebellious spirit back in 1977, and got me to bend my knee and declare Him as my Lord. I’ve never looked back nor regretted that decision. Just wish I hadn’t waited until I was 27 to give Him my heart. But no matter how old you are right now, you can give Him what’s left of your life and allow Him to guide you back to Heaven where He waits to welcome us all home someday. Don’t put it off another second! If you aren’t sure you’ve ever invited Him into your heart, do it now. He’ll respond immediately and come to

live there and your life will never be the same. He promises to be a husband to the widow, a father to the orphan, a friend that sticks closer than a brother, a Shepherd Who lays down His life for His sheep. Trust Him. Follow Him. There’s no better Companion to walk through life with than Jesus, Who, while we were yet sinners, gave Himself freely for us. He promises we will find Him when we seek Him with our whole heart. And He has a future and a hope for us: eternal life with Him (and His whole family) in Heaven. Don’t miss out. Let go of your pride and humbly submit to His will. He has your very best interest at heart and He knows what’s best for you in every situation. This is Valentine’s month and the love theme is everywhere. A great time to yield to Christ’s love. He’ll fill that void inside you forever and He’ll teach you how to love as He loves. It’s an awesome experience and you, too, will know the endless hope that comes from a life yielded to His Spirit. Paddy Burrow invites your feedback. eMail her at: paddy.burrow@gmail.com or call her at (360)751-5231

Thank you for Reading! Show our Advertisers support and let them know you saw their ads here in The Valley Bugler!

February 2015 • Valley Bugler • Page 7

Cascade Select Market Offers Shoppers Online Experience!

Well, everybody’s got a smart phone, tablet or computer these days, and local grocery store, Cascade Select Market in Castle Rock is one to visit online. www.CascadeSelectMarket.com Check out their web site, and you’ll be greeted with their recognizeable banner out front, and the blue skies above. Well, the skies may not always be blue outside, but they are at their CascadeSelectMarket.com! Shoppers can browse the weekly specials, clip coupons, create their shopping list and even browse a large selection of recipes for inspiration on those cold February nights. Barley Risotto with Butternut Squash sound good? Or how about a delicious Cornbread Bell Pepper bake? The recipes are easy to read and follow, and are categorized into accessible zones. Each category is broken down into

sub-categories. For instance, click on the Casseroles & Skillets category and you will be directed to an easy to read and well laid out page that offers all the recipes, and then simple buttons to push at the top that include Beef, Pork, Poultry, Seafood, Vegetable or Breakfast. Have something specific in mind? Search the recipes and find exactly what you’re looking for. Try a recipe and then you can even go in and give it a star rating, telling people that you’ve tried it out and either liked it or not. Print directly from the screen, Add to your virtual “Cookbook” and also share the recipe with social media like Facebook or Twitter or eMail! In order to get started, create an account (link is at the top of the page), and get started. The ease of being able to add items to your shopping list directly from the weekly ad, or entering items manually saves time and money! No clipping coupons, just print them out and bring them with you. In addition to the online coupons, there are also coupons throughout the Market, called “Savings at the Shelf”. Look for special marked coupons right

Submitted by Georgia Cox FEBRUARY Events Every Monday: Our infamous Cinnamon Rolls and coffee will be served to the public from 10am to NOON. Suggested donation is only $1.50! Every Monday, Wednesday & Friday: Get that heart rate up and get healthy with the exercise classes from 9:30am to 10:30am! Facts show that exercise helps keep your body healthy and functioning as well as possible. Make it one of your New Year resolutions to come join us if you haven’t already! Every 1st & 3rd Tuesday: “Write your Life Story”, and will meet in the Center from 1:00pm - 3:00pm. Every Wednesday: CAP offers Nutrition Meals for Seniors at the Center at NOON. Suggested donation is $3.00, but PLEASE call #6362118 (by Monday) for reservations.

at the products you are purchasing. Currently, Cascade Select Market is offering shoppers a Citrus Sale and special discounts on selected produce. Get shopping today! Classic Chicken Parmesan anyone?

*Paper Tole classes will be held from 1:00pm - 3:00pm. Every Thursday: Fun Quilting projects will take place from 12pm to 3pm and Pinochle games are played in the Center later at 7pm and is open to all who are interested, so bring your game! Every Friday: Lunches by reservation only, will be served in the Center at NOON. Must Reserve by calling 274-7502 by Monday. Every Saturday: BINGO games are played from 1pm - 3pm, get ready to have some fun! SPECIAL EVENTS: Tuesday, February 10th: A video of an Hawaiian trip that was enjoyed by Myron and Mary Nelson will be shown, beginning at 11:00am and followed by a potluck lunch at high NOON. This video should be beautiful during this cold Winter time. Please come and join us. Thursday, February 19th: Commodities will be distributed from 10am - 1pm. Have a valid punch card.

Cascade Select Market 204 Cowlitz Street West 274-4143 also online:

www.CascadeSelectMarket.com ‘We’re your Neighborhood Grocer!’

Page 8 • Valley Bugler • February 2015

Baked Lava’s Strawberry Daiquiri Swiss Roll I haven’t had much time lately to create many new recipes with working part time. I got up really early one morning and saw a photo of a Swiss roll and decided to give it whirl. You can view the step by step process at www.bakedlava.com. This looks way more complicated than it truly is. I’ve avoided making recipes, such as this, in the past because of how difficult they looked. Nothing could be further from the truth. This recipe was adapted and revamped from a recipe that I found on 12tomatoes.com. Strawberry Daiquiri Swiss Roll Sponge Cake: 4 large eggs 1/2 cup superfine sugar (I did this in my food processor...I simply measured out the amount of sugar needed and gave it a buzz.) 2 tablespoons warm water 1 teaspoon rum extract 1/2 teaspoon vanilla 1/2 cup sifted flour plus extra to dust baking sheet with Filling: 1 cup heavy cream 1/3 cup superfine sugar (see above) 1/3 cup pureed strawberries 1/2 cup chopped strawberries 1 teaspoon rum extract 1/2 cup toasted coconut

Directions: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line a quarter-sized sheet pan with parchment paper, butter the parchment thoroughly, making sure to get in the corners and on the sides. Dust with flour. In a large bowl, whisk eggs with sugar until light in color. Add in extracts and water. Sift in the flour and mix until completely incorporated. Pour into prepared pan and bake in preheated oven for about 12 minutes or until the middle of the cake springs back when lightly pressed. Spread a piece of parchment paper onto your work surface and sprinkle it evenly with some of the superfine sugar. Invert cake onto sugar topped parchment paper. Carefully remove the pan and the parchment. Cover with a clean, damp kitchen towel and let it cool completely. The towel will keep the sponge cake moist. Buzz up some strawberries into a puree in a food processor until you

have 1/3 cup of puree. Hull and chop up more strawberries to make 1/2 cup. Whip the cream until it gets to soft peak stage. Add sugar, rum extract and strawberry puree. Continue whipping until it forms very stiff peaks. Fold in chopped strawberries. In the meantime, toast your coconut in the oven until it is golden brown. Keep an eye on it because it will burn quickly. Cool completely. Spread the cream evenly over the sponge leaving about 1/2 an inch edge all the way around. Sprinkle an evenly layer of coconut over the

cream. I sprinkled toasted coconut over the top but another idea is to use powdered sugar. It’s your Swiss roll, so you get to do what you want! Remember to keep refrigerated. If you do not have rum extract, I’d simply substitute the two tablespoons of water for two tablespoons of rum and just use 1 teaspoon of vanilla. Until we meet up in March...peace!

Presidents Day: Washington’s or Lincoln’s? This year: Monday, Jan.16 Most calendars state that the third Monday of February is Presidents Day, federal holiday. Government offices, schools and post offices close. Supposedly, this annual event is meant to celebrate the combined birthdays of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. But their birth dates are on the 22nd & 12th respectively and the 22nd can never be on a Monday. Confused? There’s more. By combining these once separate events that honored two important presidents, a 1968 Uniform Holiday Bill gave federal employees another 3-day weekend along with Memorial Day and Columbus Day. States don’t have to recognize it,

but most do. Some states continue to call the holiday Washington’s Birthday. After all, he is the Father of Our Country, the general who led the Continental Army to victory in the Revolutionary War and then became our first president. That’s why our 1888 Congress created the very first national holiday that honored an important individual. What about Lincoln? His birthday has never been designated a federal holiday, but some states observed it as such. Some never did, but most were willing to lump it into a Presidents Day recognition. Not all. So although our calendars have said it’s Presidents Day since 1971, the name has never been officially authorized by Congress. It is still Washington’s Birthday....

RV cook extraordinaire.. proving to the world that RV food can be gourmet. Even from her RV galley in the shadow of Mt. St. Helens!

February 2015 • Valley Bugler • Page 9

Kwilts for Kids - still time to give! The Kelso Kiwanis invite you to join with them for the “Kwilts for Kids” blanket drive. February 12 is the deadline for the annual February 14th give away to children at the Emergency Support Shelter (Domestic Violence) or the Community House on Broadway. Blankets are being accepted at the Kelso Senior Center at: 106 NW 8th Ave, Kelso

Blankets accepted rom 10AM-3PM Monday thru Friday until Noon on Feb 12th, the last day of the Kwilts for Kids blanket drive. Please help us help these children. We are accepting soft fleece blankets that are either newly purchased or hand-made fleece with tied fringe, or blanket style and color of choice. Let’s make this year our best year!

For more information, eMail: kathleenjohnson451@gmail.com Basic Tied Blanket Instructions: • Warm fleece fabric (1.5-2 yards) • Take scissors and cut small strips all around the blanket, about 1” x 5” in length, depending on the size of finished product you want. • Tie neighboring strips together in a simple knot. • Another variation is to use 2 pieces of fleece fabric, and tie them together with the strips in a pullover knot.

COUPON Central • CUT • CALL • SAVE

Page 10 • Valley Bugler • February 2015

Love & Hearts Feature Sponsored by PeaceHealth

The Wedding Anniversary Symbol List How many “years” are you celebrating this year with your spouse? For my husband I, we celebrate by dining at a fun restaurant for some delicious and expensive food, then do something outside that involves water. Kayaking, waterfall hikes and ocean jaunts have peppered our yearly celebrations. And, when we could, we took a night or two away from the kiddos, thanks to grandma and grandpa... People celebrate anniversaries with as much diversity as there are different personalities. Here is a list of the “common symbols” that relate to specific years of marriage as submitted by reader, Theresa Giles.

1st: Paper 2nd: Cotton 3rd: Leather 4th: Fruit & Flowers 5th: Wood

6th: Sugar 7th: Copper, Wool 8th: Bronze 9th: Pottery & Willow 10th: Tin 11th: Steel 12th: Silk & Linen 13th: Lace 14th: Ivory 15th: Crystal 20th: China 25th: Silver 30th: Pearl 35th Coral 40th: Ruby 45th: Sapphire 50th: Gold 55th: Emerald 60th: Diamond 65th: Blue Sapphire 70th: Platinum

RAM Jewelers Can Bring Your Dream to Life... If you’re like me, your wedding

ring is a very important choice. My wedding ring was originally from 1904 Germany. A beautifully created piece that I loved. My grandma’s wedding ring. My mom graciously let me have it when I got married. The band was destroyed and we had to re-set the face onto a new band. I wore it happily for many years, until I had a very “negative” experience at a local jeweler, when they “tipped” my ring and it was destroyed. They shall remain nameless. I wore it like they gave it back to me and was very sad for many years, since I did NOT trust anyone with my wedding ring after that. Enter Josh from RAM Jewelers. I got to know him as a client, and friend. His gentle manner and extreme knowledge of jewelry and getting to see his first hand work on other people’s jewelry convinced me it was time to “re-make” my original wedding ring. Here is the stunning custom work he created. I have my wedding ring back, and I couldn’t be happier. Thank you Josh and RAM Jewelers! [RAM Jewelers has a large selection of rings and jewelry. See ad on p.12]

Solutions for Puffy Eyes Late rehearsal dinner combined with the normal stresses of getting married make puffy eyes a common occurrence for brides, and the entire bridal party for that matter. Puffiness tends to rear its ugly head when salt retention is the culprit. A very salty dinner or crying before bed could result in puffiness. Here are some tried and true methods of keeping those puffies at bay: 1) Drink LOTS of water. The more hydrated you are, the less puffy your skin is apt to become. Avoid substances that tend to dehydrate you, like caffeine and alcohol. 2) Get something COLD on those peepers! Like other types of swelling,

puffy eye syndrome can be reduced with applying some cold. Many use cold cucumber slices, tea bags that you pop in the freezer until chilly. Lie down for 15 minutes with the cold compress of your choice. If you have dark circles along with the puffies, take the cucumber slices and soak them in lemon juice for about 4 minutes, then place them on your closed eyes for the 10-15 minutes before rinsing. 3) Using astringents. There are creams and tonics that use astringents to help tighten the skin. Be sure to buy ones that are made for the sensitive eye area! Soak a cotton ball in it, and set it over your eyes for about ten minutes. Then remove cotton and rinse your face. Or - use natural astringents, such as grated potato. Grate a fresh cold one and put on your closed eyes for about 15 minutes, then rinse. 4) Mooo. Yes, milk will help, too. Dip cotton pads in chilled milk and place on your eyelids and relax for 10-15 minutes. Then rinse with cool water. 5) Egg Whites have skin tightening properties that can give relief for puffy eyes, as well as help prevent wrinkles. Whip egg whites (2) in a bowl until you get a stiff puff. Add a few drops of witch hazel to it if you have any. Use a soft cloth to apply and let dry. Rinse it with cool water. 6) Limit your SALT. A simple little tip with big results. Try limiting it for a week and see the results. 7) ) Get exercise. Having healthy circulation will help move fluid through your body more efficiently. If you have time, do some yoga or go for a quick walk.

February 2015 • Valley Bugler • Page 11

Love & Hearts Feature

Sponsored by Three Rivers Mall

Longview’s Candy Bouquet offers sweet treats for your Sweetheart

By Michelle Myre Valley Bugler Newspaper There’s simply no denying it. Chocolate is one of the ways to a woman’s heart. And there’s simply no way denying the other truth. Chocolate is one of the ways to a man’s heart! There’s something about the delicious treat that drives people wild. Ranging from white to dark, with nuts or without, with candy bits or without, specialty flavors incorporated inside. I should stop myself, I’m starting to drool on the keyboard. The Candy Bouquet in Longview is ready to serve your every chocolate whim! If you’re one of the rare few who steer clear of the cocoa bean treat, there are plenty of other sweet treats to enjoy. Offering up a wide selection of candies, including old ‘retro’ candy not available in most stores, Barb Starkey, owner and operator, is also head designer of the specialty candy bouquets, as highlighted by the name of the store. Gorgeous, fun, wacky, and thoughtful creations have all gone through her talented hands and out the door to satisfied customers. Starkey, and her husband Mike, celebrate fifteen years of offering up sweet treats to the local community. Located inside the Merk, at 1339

Commerce, they have a store filled literally to the brim with assorted candies, chocolates and gifts. Special orders, and deliveries are a main facet, Starkey explained as she put on the finishing touches to a Valentine’s Bouquet, available for ‘take out’ purchase. That bouquet will join the others lining the shop, giving those who stop in a chance to see exactly what their bouquet will look like. [See photo for one of the display shelves at store]. In addition to always having Seattle Chocolates, candy and truffles available, there are some new additions to the sweet stock this past year. Seely Mints from Clatskanie are insanely popular, as are Michele’s Chocolate Truffles from Clackamas. Starkey was stocking the delicious Seely Mints before they broke into the nationwide market with Whole Foods Markets. And the decision to offer Michele’s Chocolate Truffles was an easy one, as these decadent truffles are big, dessert style, and have proven to be very popular as well. So, if you’re struggling with what to give your sweetie on this sweet day where love is celebrated, why don’t you call or stop by The Candy Bouquet, and allow Barb Starkey to show you their assortment of wonder. It doesn’t wilt. It doesn’t wither. Your partner doesn’t like candy? Consider your boss, staff, children and teachers as a way to thank them for being a sweet addition to your life. Delivery is available, making the Friday the 13th a fun way to deliver

some special sweets to someone at work or school. Chocolates, candies, Valentine’s Boxes, truffles, candles, plush stuffed animals, coffee mugs, gifts and more await your ideas this Valentine’s Day.

THE CANDY BOUQUET 1339 Commerce Ave (Located inside the Merk)

(360)414-0778

facebook.com/candygrandma

Top Ten Valentine’s Gifts Valentines Day is the one day a year where we get to show our loved one exactly how much we love him/ her. Show your love with a special gift a one that comes from the heart and will last a lifetime. Here are 10 of the best both inexpensive and expensive. But remember Valentines Day is not about money it is about sharing your love with one another. From spending a little moola to a LOT of moola (think Paris!) the key to a successful gift is the thought that is put into it. Gifts that are purchased that afternoon and delivered with a smile later that night don’t seem to go as far as one that was planned and thoughtfully executed... 1. A handmade Valentines Day card - a handmade card says much more then a shop bought one and will let your partner know exactly how much they mean to you. Decorate! 2. Fresh flowers - the key to this is how they are delivered. You could have them delivered to his/her place of work, don her apartment with them, or a single red rose with a ring attached to it. Ahhh, romance!

3. Chocolates - we are not talking about a box of roses, but more personal. Personalized chocolates are all the rage on Valentines Day and can be bought through Candy Bouquet - check out their ad on p.12 4. Plane tickets to Paris - Ah the city of love. Fly away for the weekend! 5. A romantic candlelit dinner for two. Cook or order out his/her favorite meal light some candles, stand the wine in ice and light background music will set the scene perfectly. 6. Jewelry - a heart locket for her with a photo of the 2 of you inside, or maybe an engagement ring.... 7. Love songs - put together a compilation of both your favorite love songs, and enjoy during dinner. 8. Say it with words - Write him/ her a poem about how much he/she means to you. If you can’t write poetry give him a book of poetry instead. 9. Lingerie - this one is for both of you to enjoy. 10. Picture perfect - have a favorite photo of the 2 of you blown up and mounted onto a nice frame.

Page 14 • Valley Bugler • February 2015

February 2015 • Valley Bugler • Page 15

Comical Bumper Stickers I love animals, they taste great. EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later.

Website

Love is spelled S.E.O.

Happy February. Love is in the air! My clients love WordPress and they love bringing more people to their websites. If you combine the love; you get one of my most frequently asked questions about websites: “How can I improve the search engine rankings of my WordPress powered website?” Right out of the box, a WordPress blog is remarkably well optimized for the search engines. But, for the best Search Engine rankings you should also optimize the individual pages. This increases chances of being found in Google and other search engines. Here is a peek at some of the Elements of Search Engine Optimization (SEO). Keywords and Phrases: These are the words that you want people to “google” to find your site. Keyword Density: This is how packed your page is with your keywords. Headings and subheadings: These are ways for you to tell visitors and search engines what is most important on your page or post. Titles: Titles are at the top of your page and they are the first thing that Search Engines see (and use to rank). It is recommend that titles are between 40-70 characters. Meta Descriptions: These are what users see in the search results. Links internal and external both play a role in SEO as well. Word Count: The total words on the page. It is recommended that you use at least 300 words per page that you wish to rank well. I’d like to think the info above could make you an SEO ninja. But, even with these nuggets of wisdom it is inconceivable that you can easily

apply this knowledge to your site. (isn’t is fun to say inconceivable?) I’ve done a lot of optimization by hand, but I wont make you do that. Since I like you, I’m going to share one my of my favorite WordPress Plug-ins with you. WordPress SEO by Yoast (yoast. com). I believe WordPress to be one of the best, if not THE best search optimized Content Management System on the planet. WordPress SEO raises the bar to a whole new level with on page analysis and targeting. After you in Install the Wordpress SEO you can set up site wide settings and each page has it’s own SEO ranking. Each page is evaluated on over 10 parameters and give Red (Bad) Orange (Warning) and Green (All Good) badge. You can then follow their suggestions to improve on your page in real time. It is amazing to be able to make some change and click update to see how they effect your results. WordPress SEO has a free and a premium version that includes a few extra features and enhanced support for only $89. Once you get Yoast installed onto your platform, and running, I’m sure you will love how it improves your search engine rankings. Granted, all of the above can be quite confusing if you’re new to the web site lingo. If you need help along the way, feel free to reach out to me. Be sure to ask me about how I can train you to be a SEO ninja or hire me to do the dirty work for you. ~:-) Oscar Myre IV is the Creative Director & Owner at omOriginals Marketing! a Washington based Web firm for over sixteen years. Serving National and International clients of all sizes. Call them at (360)575-9839 or omOriginals.com

“Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.” The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. What is a “free” gift ? Aren’t all gifts free? Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Always remember you’re unique... Just like everyone else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. All generalizations are false, including this one. “Criminal Lawyer” is a redundancy. I.R.S.: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got!

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. The police never think it’s as funny as you do. Not all who wander are lost. Less bombs, more art supplies. Free airbag test. Come a little closer. i like naps. Stop global whining.

TEEN HEART SCREEN Saturday, Feb. 21st 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. PeaceHealth Medical Group Lake Front Clinic, Longview Suggested donation is $25 per

teen, which benefits the local Spencer’s Heart Strong Foundation. Learn more and register at: www.stopyouthsca.org

Page 16 • Valley Bugler • February 2015

Horseshoe Lake Park in Winter

Horseshoe Lake Park sits just west of I-5 in Woodland. In spring, its shores are packed with fishermen. In summer, the park is filled with swimmers and picnickers, paddle boarders and families gathering for reunions. In mid-June, it is the location of fireworks, a carnival and other Planter’s Day activities. In fall, there is a harvest festival. But in winter? Who goes to the park in the winter? As I asked myself this question, I started jotting down all the uses of the park that I observe during the winter months. I have noticed that as soon as even a small amount of snow covers the ground, sleds glide down the gentle slope on the west end of the park, near the picnic shelter. But we don’t get much snow in downtown Woodland, so when there’s no snow on the ground and the skies are gray, what’s there to do at the park? Every day, rain or shine, many people park their cars along the park to enjoy lunch with a lake view or to have a quiet spot to read a book or check their email. Parents take their children to Horseshoe Lake Park to ride their scooters or bikes around the asphalt trail, to try out the skateboard park, to fly a kite or to practice soccer or baseball. Little enjoy the playground, summer or winter, but a

towel to dry wet swing seats can make for a better experience. As I began writing this column in midJanuary, I noticed a man on the grass doing nothing. Yes—lying on the grass in January! He then continued with other exercises in his fitness routine, walking back and forth on the trail, knees high, arms swinging. I admired his dedication as I ate another piece of chocolate. Soon, a jogger ran by followed by some walkers . . . and another jogger. Some folks stroll leisurely along the trail, taking in the view and listening to the calls of seagulls and geese. Others walk briskly or jog, getting a good workout. Bicycle riders take to the park as well, and I often see parents teaching young children to ride a bike . . . in this safe place, away from traffic. I observed a familiar sight, a large white dog walking the trail with his owner, just one of several times that this duo visits the park each day. As I watched, several more dogs walked their owners. My dog and I, too, enjoy walking at this park. Often, I watch parents pushing babies in strollers. I imagine these moms and dads pointing out the ducks, the dogs and the water, and maybe tossing a pebble into the lake to watch the ripples. Horseshoe Lake is not just a summer destination. It is a popular place to spend time . . any time.

(Photo: Horseshoe Lake Park in January, taken by Pat Nelson)

Pat Nelson, is co-creator of three humorous and sometimes edgy anthologies: ‘Not Your Mother’s Book: On Being a Parent’ (Amazon.com & retailers); On Being a Grandparent; and On Working for a Living.

Farewell! My Last Column... I’ve been writing these articles for over 10 years now and have finally decided to pull the plug, so to speak, and not do them anymore. But I felt I should at least take the time to say good bye to the many readers who have apparently enjoyed my writing and the many that have commented and/or asked questions for further clarity. The reality is that for the last 5 years, I have not been repairing vehicles any more, I just let my competent staff do all that kind of work while I have concentrated on being the “boss” and doing all the other things that owning a business requires. What this has done is make me obsolete as far as vehicle repair is concerned and I no longer feel confident to do that sort of work. In fact, now when I look under the hood at the power train, I think “I used to love doing this kind of stuff”, but that is now no longer the case. It’s somebody else’s job now. I still love the interaction with customers and all the related stuff I do

The

as the owner of my business, but the shop tools have been put away. I hope someone else will pick up the pen and carry on as I believe there is a need for this type of writing. (Yes, please! Contact us here at the paper if you are a qualified professional wanting to contribute to the Shop Talk column.) Automobiles have become so darn technical that it takes someone with an understanding of these systems to share that understanding in a way more people can comprehend. Unfortunately, if you don’t use it, you lose it and that is where I find myself. So to the many loyal readers and the crew at Valley Bugler, thank you for your input, questions and interest in all that I have written about. Happy Motoring, Ray Ray Miles is the owner of R & R Motors in Castle Rock, WA. This is Ray’s last column. The Valley Bugler is indebted to him for sharing his knowledge and experience with us! We wish you the best, and Thank you SO MUCH, Ray!! ☺

Lighter side

Gone With The Wind Two mice live in a movie studio warehouse and are looking for food. Suddenly one hears the other chewing. “What did you find?” he asks. “It looks like a piece of film celluloid from an old movie. Let me see. Ah, yes. It is from ‘Gone with the Wind.’” “And is it good?” “The book was better.”

Monkey in a bar A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes a sip and sets it down. While he is looking around, a monkey swings down and steals the beer. He asks the barman, “who owns the monkey?” The barman says it’s the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player. He asks, “Do you know your monkey stole my beer?” “No, but if you hum it, I’ll fake it.” Golf: Nothing lost A land surveyor was part of a team expanding a golf course. He was using a machete to clear thick brush when he came upon a golf club that a player must have flung away in a snit. Good club, he thought and he picked it up with his free hand while he made the last few strikes at the brush with the machete. Just then he broke out of the brush onto the putting green to face two golfers who were observing him, machete in one hand, a golf club in the other. Behind him was a clear path leading out of the woods. “There,” said one of the golfers, “is a guy who hates losing a ball!” I want to buy a golf ball A blonde golfer goes into the pro

☺

shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf balls,” the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls. As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, “Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?” “Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!” Rice Preference The young woman really thought she’d been very patient through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage. One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant. As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, “So...how do you like your rice? Boiled? Steamed? Or fried?” Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu at him and replied clearly, “Thrown.” Apples The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

‘Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, ‘Take

all you want. God is watching the apples.”

February 2015 • Valley Bugler • Page 17

Movie Reviews By Blake Peterson

‘The Good Lie’ Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Corey Stoll Directed by Philippe Falardeau Running Time 1 Hr., 50 Mins., PG-13 My Rating: B+

Hollywood, believe it or not, can be condescending. When attempting to center a film around a noteworthy event set in a third world country, there’s an all too frequent misstep that sees a random, nice white male or female come to the rescue. However good the film may be, it can leave a bad taste in one’s mouth. The focus seems to uncomfortably shift away from the original subjects and onto the actor trying as hard as they can to leave the Dolby Theater with an Academy Award in hand by the year’s end. Why do I bring this up? “The Good Lie” is a wonderful film that, unfortunately, marketed itself in its posters and trailers as one of those wince inducing movies I previously described. Possibly, executives thought that audiences would never see a movie about Sudanese immigrants adjusting to life in America; the only way to earn a profit was if Reese Witherspoon’s mug was blown-up and plastered on every promotional poster. With its sunny photoshop and fable hued sparkle, I’m almost 100% certain that this is what turned so many people off (sorry executives). But don’t be as instantly fooled as I was at first glance — this is a wellmade, moving, and sincere drama that sensibly balances heart and harsh truths. During the Sudanese Civil War, which began in 1983, thousands upon thousands of children became orphans within a matter of seconds, their parents murdered in the mass killings that overtook the tranquility of their villages. These children, often referred to as The Lost Boys, would walk thousands of miles in hopes to find some sort of safety. Many perished along the way, amidst harsh weather conditions and lurking rebel forces. The first half-hour of “The Good Lie” concentrates on four of the orphans: Mamere (Arnold Oceng), who acts as a leader of sorts, his brothers, Paul (Emmanuel Jal) and Jeremiah (Ger Duany), and his sister, Abital (Kuoth Wiel). They finally make it to a Kenyan

refugee camp, a place they call home for the next 13 years. One day, as if they won the lottery, they are selected to be a part of a humanitarian program that allows them to become American citizens as long as they contribute to the work force. The brothers are sent to Kansas City, but Abital is placed elsewhere — the separation is immediate, unflinchingly cruel. Over the course of a few months, we watch the siblings slowly adjust to life in the U.S., complete with job misunderstandings and fish-out-of-water gags. Reese Witherspoon is superb as the free-spirited social worker that becomes a sort of saint for the brothers, but “The Good Lie” is not just a star vehicle for the actress (who is having a career Renaissance thanks to her Oscar-nominated performance in “Wild”). It is a drama so heartrending, so inspirational that even the most predictable of plot points come along not with a groan but with an impassioned cheer. Margaret Nagle’s screenplay is nearly lyrical, coming along with unexpected laughs and outbursts of disquieting human turmoil. To give away every detail of “The Good Lie” would be a crime; there are too few feel-good movies with merit. Most have turned away from “The Good Lie” in favor of Witherspoon’s other big project, “Wild,” but this movie, ‘The Good Lie’, is truly unmissable.

A student of R. A. Long, Blake is an aspiring film critic that enjoys music, movies, and art. For more reviews, go to his website: petersonreviews.com

Get Puzzled!

Puzzle Answer on Same Page

Page 18 • Valley Bugler • February 2015

KIWANIS CLUBS focus their community service hours to the welfare of children.

CATHLAMET 1st Tues. 6 p.m. at the St. Catherine’s Catholic Church; 3rd Tues. at Sugar Lillies at noon. CHEHALIS - Thursday 12 p.m. at “The Restaurant” in Sunbirds. CLATSKANIE - 1st & 3rd & 5th Tues 6 p.m. at Fultano’s; 2nd & 4th Tues 12 p.m. Colvin’s. KELSO - Thurs. noon at 3 Rivers Mall, Comm. Room. LONGVIEW - Thursdays. noon at JT’s. SCAPPOOSE- 1st & 3rd Wednesday 6:30 p.m. Windemere Real Estate Office) ST. HELENS - Thurs. noon at the Elks Lodge (350 Belton Rd, St Helens). ST. HELENS DAYBREAKERS - Tues 7 a.m. at Warren Country Inn, Last Tues 6pm Columbia Soil and Water District Office AMERICAN LEGION GLEN HOYER POST 175 meets in Castle Rock every 1st & 3rd Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. For info call 423.9542. The LADIES AUXILIARY to Glen Hoyer Post #175 of the American Legion meets first Thursdays. For info call 423-9542. AMERICAN LEGION GUY RATHBUN Post #25 meets the 2nd Thurs. of the month at 7 p.m @ Kelso Eagles For info Kandi 423.2504 BUFORD ROCKAFELLOW POST 101, The American Legion, and Auxiliary meets the 2nd Friday of each month at the Winlock Community Building. Potluck 6 p.m., meeting at 7 p.m.. For info Post Commander Wendy Carolan 360-785-0929 or Adjutant Phil Carolan at (360) 785-0929. The FLEET RESERVE ASSOCIATION (FRA), an organization of Naval Service Veterans, Navy, Marine Corps, Coast Guard. Lower Columbia Branch 363 meets 6:30 p.m., 2nd Friday, each month at the Longview VFW building, 4311 Ocean Beach Highway. For more information contact: Ray Hegr at (360) 425-6981 or E-mail at fra363@yahoo. com. FLEET RESERVE AUXILIARY #363 meets the 2nd Friday of the month at the VFW Hall, 4311 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview. A potluck at 6:30 p.m. with the meeting at 7:30 p.m. All people who have active, retired, or reserve status family members who are now serving or have served with the US Navy, Marines or Coast Guard are welcome. Info 425.4688. KELSO-LONGVIEW ELKS LODGE #1482 meets Thurs at 7:30 p.m. for our members only. Dinner is served before Lodge at 5:30 p.m. Lunches are served Monday-Friday 11 a.m.-2 p.m. One of our many projects is to serve the youth of the communities. 900 Ash St., Kelso. 360.425.1482. TOUTLE VALLEY VFW POST & AUXILIARY #10882 meets the 1st Tuesday @ 7 p.m. at their Post Home, 101 Hansen Road in Toutle. For more information, contact John at 274.4350 or Nikki at 274.5263. TOLEDO VFW 3429, Reg. Meeting 1st Monday, Potluck at noon, meeting at 1 p.m. COWLITZ VALLEY VFW POST 1045, Tues. Bingo @ 6 p.m., 5 p.m. dinner; Auxilary mtngs at 11 a.m. every 2nd Wednesday. Breakfast for veterans served 1st Sat. of each month $6 each from 9 - 11 a.m. The COWLITZ VALLEY VFW LADIES AUXILIARY POST #1045 meets the 2nd Wednesday at 11 a.m. at the VFW Hall located at 4311 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview. For info or questions please call Ruby at (360) 577-0414 or Jeannette at (360) 414-4053. COWLITZ PRAIRIE GRANGE #737 meets 2nd Wednesdays 6:30pm potluck, 4th Wednesdays 7:30pm dessert. 5180 Jackson Hwy, Toledo, WA 864-2023 SUNNYSIDE GRANGE #129 meets the 2nd & 4th Saturdays. 6:30 for potluck, 7:30 meeting. Call 274.6013 for information & rental hall. SILVER LAKE GRANGE 2nd and 4th Thurs. Potluck 6:30, meeting at 7:30 p.m. Info & rental 274-5263. CATLIN GRANGE #199 2nd & 4th Fri. 6:30 p.m. Potluck dinner 2nd Friday. 7:30 meetings. More info: 425.2973. PLEASANT HILL GRANGE # 101 2nd & 4th Mon. 6:30 p.m. Potluck, meeting @ 7:15 p.m. Community Service group. Info & rentals call 425-6101 Junior Grange meets 1st & 3rd Mondays 6 p.m. - 7 p.m. CASTLE ROCK WOMANS CLUB meets every 2nd Monday at 1 p.m. 206 W. Cowlitz Street. Business meeting & program. Public iinvited. Info: 274.8149. THE PYTHIAN CASTLE 24 holds their meetings every 2nd and 4th Thursday @ 1 p.m. at the Castle Rock Womens Club, 206 Cowlitz St. West, Castle Rock. THE CASTLE ROCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays at Hattie’s Restaurant @ 5:45 p.m. The club sponsors newspaper recycling.

LONGVIEW MONTICELLO LIONS meets 6:30 p.m. 2nd and 4th Mondays, dinner and speaker at The Carriage Restaurant on 12th LONGVIEW EARLY BIRD LIONS meets at The Carriage Restaurant on the 1st Wednesday @6pm, 3rd Wednesday @6:45am. THE VADER LIONS CLUB meets the 1st Thursday @ 6 p.m. and the 3rd Thursday @ 7 p.m. at the club’s building on Hwy 506 in Vader for a potluck dinner and meeting. Info: 295-3087 or 295-3801. KALAMA LIONS CLUB - www.kalama-lions.com. LONGVIEW PIONEER LIONS CLUB meets every Tuesday at noon at the Longview Eagles Club (152612th Ave) Provide humanitarian service to the citizens of the area, visitors are welcome. WINLOCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month at 12 p.m. at Guadalajara Restaurant, off SR 505. Visitors welcome. Call 7853744 info KELSO LIONS CLUB meets 1st & 3rd Monday @ 6:30 p.m. in Longview Kelso Kels Building. Call Richard (360)425-5876 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #953 meets 2nd Tues. @ 1pm, & 4th Tuesdays @ 6 p.m. 1520 Rose Valley Road, Kelso. Info: Becky 575-3977 or Debbie 414-9627 COWLITZ COUNTY VETERANS ASSOC. meets the second Friday of each month. CALL 577-6757 for locations. LONGVIEW REBEKAH LODGE NO. 305 Meets the 1st and 3rd Saturday each month at the IOOF Hall, corner of Pacific and Pine, Kelso, 1 p.m.. Info: 1-866725-3507 CASTLE ROCK EAGLES, celebrating their 100th birthday, meets at the Eagles Aerie on Huntington Ave. @ 8 p.m. every 2nd & 4th Tuesday for the Aerie & Auxiliary. KELSO EAGLES meet 1st and 3rd Tuesday at 7 p.m. Aux., Aerie meets at 8 p.m. Initiation 3rd Tuesday. BINGO MonWed-Fri @ 6:30 p.m. Special Charity BINGO Monday 12 - 3 p.m. Call 425-8330 for info. CASTLE ROCK FREEMASONS 3rd Mon @ 7:30 p.m. at Lodge located on SW First Ave DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, MaryRichardson Walker Chapter. rootsweb. ancestry.com/~wamrwcdar/ FRIENDS OF CASTLE ROCK LIBRARY, 1st Mondays from 10 - 11 a.m., Library 137 Cowlitz St. West in Castle Rock WORSHIP & RECOVERY meeting, Sunday @ 1 p.m., refreshments. Positive faith group meeting. 1260 12th Ave., LV S.C.O.R.E. - Free counseling & guidance for small businesses by the nation-wide of S.C.O.R.E., Kelso/ Longview Chamber of Commerce, 1563 Olympia Way, Longview, WA. DISABLED AMERICAN VETERANS: 1st Fri of the month at 1 p.m. @ 1639 10th Ave. 577-5890, and Auxiliary meets the 2nd Friday of the month at 11 a.m. 423-3125 MT. ST. HELENS CLUB - meets 2x week to hike on a rural trail in SW Washington &/or NW Oregon.  Location and info: mtsthelensclub.org or 360- 673-2799 NATIONAL ASSOC. OF ACTIVE & RETIRED FEDERAL EMPLOYEES Longview - Kelso Chapter 1070, meet the 1st Wednesday @ 11:30 a.m. at the Monticello Hotel, Longview. Info: 423.6032. LOWER COLUMBIA WOODCARVERS Tues 5 - 7 p.m. Brook Hollow Rec. Center & Thurs. @ LV Senior Center 1 - 4 p.m . 274-3175 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #953 2nd & 4th Tues. 6 p.m. potluck, meeting 7:00. Info: 423-6952, Rentals 423-8270, or 560-5140. LONGVIEW BORDER CROSSINGS Volks walking meet on 2nd Tuesdays at St. John’s Hospital, Longview, @ 6:30 p.m. Cafeteria Sam Korff 503-728-0400 KELSO ROTARY Meets Thursdays at 12 p.m. Lunch available to purchase. Kelso Longview Elks Lodge Call 414-5406 for more information ALTRUSA of Longview/Kelso meets Thursdays from 12 - 1 p.m.. 1st - Board; 2nd - Business; 3rd - Committee; 4th - Program; Lunch served for $5 at all meetings except Board. Meet at Altrusa room at CAP. THE SPIRIT OF FREEDOM Christian Intervention program for the chemically dependent, meets Wednesday 6 p.m. at Landmark United Pentecostal, 4333 Ocean Beach Hwy, 360-636-0580 LONGVIEW GARDEN CLUB meets at 10 a.m. the 4th Thurs. Jan. - November; Sept. - Oct. Due to holidays, Nov. & Dec. meetings are on the 3rd Thurs. Most mtngs Grace Lutheran Church in Longview. Info: 425-0755 COWLITZ BEE ASSOCIATION meets the 3rd Thursday each month @ WSU Extension Office, 7 p.m. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS of Longview meets Monday @ 7:00pm or Thursday @ 7:30pm at Longview United Methodist Church. 2851 30th Ave, Longview. For info call Vee (503)449-6005 or www.oa.org NAMI Strive - Free support group; Depression, Bipolar, PTSD or any mental illness. Thursdays 4-5:30pm,. NAMI Free Suicide Support Group: For anyone with severe depression that has thoughts of suicide. Please come join us. Starts Jan 7th, Wed 6-8pm. 900 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview (360)984-6096

Abernathy Assembly of God 702 Abernathy Creek Rd. Longview Phone: 360-636-1620 Website: www.AbernathyAoG.com Sunday Service 10:45 AM Apostolic Lutheran Church 248 Cowlitz St. W., Castle Rock Sunday School 10:15 a.m. Church at 11 a.m. Information Dave Kandoll 295-3461 Baha’i Faith Vader 360-751-3181 Centralia 360-807- 4313 Packwood 360-494-4767 Longview 360-423-4105 Wednesdays 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Bethany Lutheran Church 2900 Parkview Drive, Longview Office: (360)577-8240 Pastor Shelley Willem Sunday Worship: 9:30 a.m. Castle Rock Christian Church 542 Huntington Ave. S, Castle R. Sunday school – 9 am (all ages) Sunday Worship – 10 am Dr. John Leffler, Senior Pastor 6th-12th Gr. youth Wed, 6-7:30 pm 360-274-6771 M-F, 9:30a -1:30pm Call for home groups/studies www.cr-cc.org Castle Rock Church of the Nazarene 456 Pioneer Ave. NE, Castle Rock Sunday School classes 9:30 a.m. Worship Celebration 10:45 a.m. Evening church service 6:30 p.m. Women’s Bible study Th 10:30am Rev. Reo McBride, Pastor - 274.6546 Castle Rock First Baptist Church 211 Front Ave. NW, Castle Rock Pastor Joel Royce 274-4113 Sun Bible Study all ages: 9:45am Worship 11a.m. Women’s Bible Study: Wed 6:00pm Castle Rock Church of Nazarene 456 Pioneer Ave NE, Castle Rock (360)274-6546 Pastor Reo McBride Sunday Service: 10:45am Sunday School: 9:30am Children’s Service: 11:00am Sunday Eve Service: 6:00pm Women’s Bible Study: Wed 6:00pm Castle Rock United Methodist 241 First Street, Castle Rock Sunday School 9:30 a.m. Worship 10:55 a.m. Sunday Youth Group: Sundays 2 p.m. Rev. Pam Brokaw - 274.4252 Central Christian Church 401 Crawford St., Kelso Worship -11am (Sunday school 9:30am) Wednesdays @ 6pm (Youth @ 6:45 Bible Studies - many available Russ Tevis, Minister 360-425-3420 Church Office Community of Christ, Longview 202 Delaware Street Pastor Sharon West Classes all ages: 10:00am Worship Service: 11:00am Church of Christ 300 St. Helen’s St., Toledo, Wa Sunday Bible Class 10 a.m. Sunday Worship 11 a.m. & 6 p.m. Tuesday Bible Class 11 a.m. Wednesday Bible Study 6 p.m. John Gadberry, Minister 360-274-8570 Emmanuel Lutheran Church 2218 E. Kessler Blvd. - Longview Sunday Worship - 8:30am Sunday “Celebration” - 11 a.m. Thursday Worship - 6:30 p.m. Child care available at all services Pastor David Martin, Senior Pastor Church office - 360-423-3250 www.elclongview.com

Worship Sunday 10:00 a.m. facebook.com/thefireside First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) 2000 East Kessler Blv - Longview 360.425.4220 Rev. Eric Atcheson lvfirstchristian.org revericatcheson.blogspot.com Grace and Truth City Church 525 Third Ave SW – Castle Rock Pastor David Beer Worship 10:15am, 749-2289 Grace Bible Fellowship 300 S.10th Ave, Kelso Worship: Sunday 11:00am Bible Study 9:30 a.m. www.GraceIsReal.org (360)423-4035 Grace Lutheran Church, MS 2725 Dover Street, Longview Worship: Sunday 10:30am www.Glcmslv.net (360)414-4147 Grace United Methodist Church, Vader, 295.3402 Rev. Steven A. Caskey, pastor Sunday worshipndservice – 12:15 p.m. Potluck every 2 Sunday Quilting on Mondays & Thursdays House of Prayer for All Nations 868 9th ave. Longview, WA Sunday School 9:45 AM Morning Service 11:15 AM Evening Service 6 PM

Pastor 6037 Doug McMurray; 360-577The Rock Meeting at 1955 Huntington Ave S, Castle Rock Worship 10 a.m. every Sunday Wednesday @ 7pm Service Pastors Jerry & Angie Hughes 274.7480 Rose Valley Friends Church 1437 Rose Valley Rd. Kelso 360-425-3222 Church Office 9:30am Sunday School Hour for all 10:45am Worship Service 5:00pm - 7:00pm Valley Youth Group 6-8pm Wednesday-JValley Youth 6-8pm -Sunday-JValley Youth Ryderwood Community Church,

315 Jackson St. PO Box 161, Ryderwood, Pastor Bill Bowlby, 360-295-3962 Service Opportunities 11 am Sunday

St. Mary Catholic Church 120 Powell Rd., Castle Rock 274.7404 W & Th Daily Mass 8:30A Sunday Mass 8:30A St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church 412 Pioneer Ave., Box 1467 Castle Rock Worship 10 a.m. Sunday - 274.9393

St. Paul Lutheran Church 312 First Ave. SW, PO Box 847, Castle Rock 274.6604 Worship Service: 9a.m. & 11 a.m. Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church SundayE40! (education) @ 10:10 a.m. 2200 Allen Street, Kelso Wed: 5th & 6th grade (360) 423-3650 Youth Group - 6 p.m. M & F Daily Mass 12:15 PM Wed: 7th-12th gr Youth, 7:30pm Sat Vigil Mass 5:30 PM Pastor Bob Sinclair Sunday Mass 10:30 AM Kalama Baptist Church, Pastor Wes Eader 112 Vincent Rd, Kalama WA 9:45am - Sunday School 11:00am - Worship www.kalamabaptist.com Call 673-5570 Kelso First United Methodist Church 206 Cowlitz Way, Kelso Contemporary Service 9:00 am Sunday School 9:20 am Traditional Service 11:00 am Wed: Children (Grade 1-12) 5:30-7 pm Pastor Vonda McFadden 360-423-7480 www.kelsofirstumc.org Lexington Bible Fellowship 98 Garden Street, Kelso (Lexington) Sunday school @ 9:45am Sunday worship @ 11am Pastor Jerry Hancuff www.lexingtonbible.org Life Center Corner of Rock & Pine in Centralia Sundays at 10:30am or Oyler Rd & Hwy 12 in Ethel Sundays 9:00am 360-736-5898 www.yourlifecenter.com Living Hope Church 2711 NW Andreson, Vancouver 11:00am Sundays Pastor Dean Jenks (360)944-3905 Longview Church of the Nazarene 814 - 15th Ave, Longview Sunday Service 10:30 a.m. Sunday School 9:00 a.m. Celebrate Recovery Thurs at 6 p.m 360-577-1100 Longview Community Church, 2323 Washington Way - Longview Worship service Sunday Contemporary Service 8:45 a.m. Traditional Service 11 a.m. Pastor John Williams 423.6380 LongviewCommunityChurch.org

Longview Presbyterian Church 3808 Pennsylvania St., Longview and Children’s Class: Faith Fellowship Lutheran Brethren; Worship Sun. 10am Church 210 Fishers Lane, Kelso Pastor Meghan Davis (360)577-8951 Pastor Chris Leingang www.longviewpresbychurch.net Worship at 10:00am www.fflbc.org New and Living Way Church Church Office (360) 425-4390 951 Delaware St., Longview Fathers House Church Sundays 10am & 6pm 1315 Commerce Ave Wednesdays 7pm Downtown Longview 703-3340 newandlivingwaychurch.org Worship Sundays: 9am, 10:30am Point Community Church Pastor Chuck Tilton 423-7826 Oak 445 Oakpoint Rd, Longview www.FathersHouseChurch.com Sunday School 9:30 a.m. Sunday Service 11 a.m. & 6 p.m. Fireside Fellowship Thursday Bible Study 7 p.m. 271 Atmore Road, Toutle

St. Rose Catholic Church 2571 Nichols Blvd Longview, WA 360-425-4660 The Salvation Army Church 1639 10th Ave, Longview Sunday School @ 9:45am Holiness Meeting @ 11:00am 360-423-3992 St. Stephens Episcopal 1428 - 22nd, Longview WA Office: (360)423-5600 Sunday Worship: 8:00am & 10:00am www.sslv.org Seventh Day Adventist Church 7531 Old Pacific Hwy -Castle Rock Worship 11 a.m. Saturday Pastor Ben Moore 274.6090 Seventh Day Adventist Church Journey Church 77 Solomon Road, Kelso WA Office: (360)423-7344 Saturday Worship: 11:05am Pastor Marcia Stone journeyadventist.com Stella Lutheran Chapel 124 Sherman Road, Longview Pastor Carol Plummer Sunday Worship 10:00 am Children Sunday School 10:15 a.m. Office (360) 423-3795 (Wed. Only) Toledo New Life Assembly of God 420 Silver Street, Toledo WA (360)864-4366 Worship: Sun. @ 10am, Wed. @ 6pm Dinner on Wednesdays @ 5:15pm Food Bank: Last Tue/Wed of month Toutle Christian Fellowship 5067 Spirit Lake Hwy – Toutle Worship Service Sunday 9 a.m. Childcare provided Pastor Denny Martinez www.toutle.org (360)274-6305 Vader Assembly of God Church 302 - 6th St., Vader, WA (360)295-3756 Pastor Tracy Durham Sunday Worship: 10:30am & 6:00pm Sunday Youth Group: 6:00pm Wed. Adult Study, Kidz Church: 7p.m. Valley View Church of God 1435 - 33rd Ave, Longview WA Pastor Dwayne Cothron (360)636-6787 Worship Sundays @ 10am & 6pm

February 2015 • Valley Bugler • Page 19

RAZOR CLAM digs Scheduled Digs for February

Razor Clams are delicious and waiting to be hunted this February! Here is a list and the information for the first week and a half in Feb. Please note: Information is accurate as of print date. Up to date information can be found at: www.wdfw.wa.gov Under state law, diggers are required to keep the first 15 clams they dig. Each digger’s clams must be kept in a separate container. Here are the following dates, beaches and low tides Jan. 30, Friday; 3:43 p.m., 0.5 feet Long Beach, Twin Harbors, Mocrocks. Jan. 31, Saturday; 4:32 p.m., 0.2 feet, Long Beach, Twin Harbors, Mocrocks and Copalis Feb. 1, Sunday; 5:15 p.m., 0.0 feet, Long Beach, Twin Harbors, Mocrocks Feb. 2, Monday; 5:53 p.m., -0.1 feet, Long Beach, Twin Harbors Feb. 3, Tuesday; 6:27 p.m., -0.1 feet, Long Beach, Twin Harbors Feb. 4, Wednesday; 6:59 p.m., 0.0 feet, Long Beach, Twin Harbors Feb. 5, Thursday; 7:30 p.m., 0.2 feet, Long Beach, Twin Harbors Feb. 6, Friday; 8:00 p.m., 0.5 feet, Long Beach, Twin Harbors All diggers age 15 or older must

Adorable Adoptees

have an applicable 2014-15 fishing license to harvest razor clams on any beach. Licenses, ranging from a three-day razor clam license to an annual combination fishing license, are available on WDFW’s website at https://fishhunt.dfw.wa.gov and from license vendors around the state. WDFW has razor clam recipes as well as advice on digging and cleaning clams on its webpage at

Meet

‘Finley’ Ready

for take

home this

February!

wdfw.wa.gov/fishing/shellfish/razorclams/

Razor Clam Fritters

This delicious recipe is one of the many found at the above WDFW web site: 1 C. chopped razor clams (reserve the liquid) 1 bottle flat beer 1 1/2 C. pancake mix 6 green onions (Cut very thin - use greens) 1/2 green pepper - cut very thin 1 stalk celery - cut very thin

Eligible bachelor looking for single mature woman to share life’s experiences. Finley is a large (17#), healthy cat who prefers the company of women. He is loving and social and will make some lady a wonderful addition to her home. He is neutered, microchipped and

up to date on vaccinations, For questions and info: rpaws.petfinder.org 673-7373

Mix onions, celery, green pepper and pancake mix together. Add clams and juice to other ingredients, then add beer till you have a very thick mixture that can be dropped from spoon into hot oil at 375 . You may not need all the beer because of the clam juice. Drop by spoonful in oil - cook 2 min. per side - test, if not cooked- drop by smaller spoonfuls.

Horses at the Race A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, ‘’All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.’’ The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers ‘Aleeee

ooop’ in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ‘’It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,’’ and yells, ‘’ALLLEEE OOOP!’’ really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third. The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, ‘’Nothing is wrong with me! It’s this bloody horse. What is he-deaf or something?’’ The trainer replies, ‘’Deaf?? DEAF?? He’s not deaf--he’s BLIND!’’

Our 2015 Models are in! Come see our special cats today. Humane Society of Cowlitz County. [See ad same page.]

Page 20 • Valley Bugler • February 2015