Issuu on Google+

ISSUE ONE


Photo by Lottie Moore


FOOD

pg

3

FASHION

pg

8

ART

pg

43

MEDIA

pg

51

LIFESTYLE

pg

60

Artwork by Stuart Thompson


2`S

FOOD


PERFECT PUFF PASTRY PIZZA INGREDIENTS - Pampas Puff Pastry - Tomato Paste - Veggie Sausages - Spinach leaves - Sun-dried tomatoes - Marinated artichoke - Sliced mushrooms - Sliced olives - Tofutti Ricotta

METHOD Place 1 slice of puff pastry on baking paper. Smooth layer of tomato paste across base. Dice vegetables and place on pizza in the most delicious way. Crumble ricotta on top. Cook in oven at 200*C fanforced for 10-15 minutes Slice into quarters Fold and eat

TIPS

For a greasier alternative, use Cheezly instead of Tofutti Ricotta. You should also add wholegrain mustard and asparagus if you have it. SANITARIUM BBQ VEGIE SAUSAGES

“Tastes like the real thing!”, “Tastes like a hotdog bun, with some sauce”, “I FEEL GOOD”, “Frankfurty...”, “Barbeque worthy”, “Noice and chewy but not TOO chewy”, “Firm and delicious”, “Chuck ‘em in the microwave if you’re feeling lazy dey still good”, “You can eat them raw if you want”, “Many positives to this delicious snack”, “Discovering the perfect topping of mustard has changed my life”.


ONIGIRI Rice Balls Recipe submitted by Joe Kendall-Langley

INGREDIENTS - 1.5 cup Sushi Rice - 2 tbsp Sushi or Rice Vinegar - Nori (Dried seaweed strips) - 1 packet Wakame powder - 1.5 cup Water

METHOD Cook rice and water in microwave or on stove for 12 minutes. The rice should be fluffy, not dry or crunchy. Mix vinegar and rice until sticky Stir Wakame and crumble dried seaweed into rice until evenly distributed Soak seaweed strips in water Wash hands and keep them soaked Roll rice into balls and decorate with seaweed strips

NUTTELEX; OLIVE

Nuttelex is an appetizing and healthy butter alternative, which is 100% Australian owned and free from animal products. As well as containing less than 0.01% trans fat, Nuttelex (olive) claims to lower cholesterol, which means you can enjoy it twice as much! (Maybe not, but you will probably want to). 10/10 NUTTELEX 10/10

“I eat a tub of Nuttelex a week”, “I LOVE NUTTELEX!”, “I want Nuttelex all over my body”, “Timeless classic”.


RAW BROWNIES Recipe submitted by Ella Mills

INGREDIENTS - 1 cup sunflower seeds 1 cup cashews 2 1/4 cup pitted dates 1/2 cup cocoa powder 1/2 cup shredded coconut 1 tbspn coconut oil 1 tbspn vanilla essence Pinch of Chia seeds

METHOD Place sunflower seeds and cashews in food processor until grainy. Add dates a few at a time and continue processing until it can be stuck together easily. Add the rest of the ingredients and process until evenly mixed. Enjoy as a crumble or press them into squares and eat dem brownies.

TIPS

You can also add a 1/4 cup of goji berries or an 1/8 cup of agave nectar, honey or maple syrup to taste.

ANNA’S ALMOND THINS

These Swedish biscuits can be enjoyed with a cup of tea or on their own. 150 grams of this delicacy gets you pretty far. “They almost taste like ginger bread”, “Symmetrical”, “Almost perfect in your mouth”, “They’re thin and they taste like almonds”, “Light in weight as well as textured”, “Gives you a feeling of genuine aroma”, “They melt in your mouth”, “LOVE EM!”, “I have writers block due to it being so delicious”.


BARBEQUED Garlic Bread INGREDIENTS - 3 or 4 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped - 125g Nuttelex - ½ cup parsley leaves, finely chopped - Chopped chives (to taste) - 1 french baguette

METHOD Preheat oven to 180*C (fan forced) Mix garlic with Nuttelex, parsley and cloves. Cut baguette into slices, stopping approximately 2cm from base. Spread mix on both sides of bread. You can spread any leftover mix over the top of the baguette (It will just add to the deliciousness later). Separate each slice and cook each side on barbeque until golden brown

TIPS

For quicker, easier results; buy a pack of Tru-Blu garlic bread and repeat last step

SOY MOZARELLA CHEESE CHEEZLY VS TOFUTTI

Tofutti: “This smells like armpits or feet”, “Tastes like plastic McDonalds cheese” Cheezly: “This is way better than the other one”, “Creamy”, “Like a warm, thick butter”, “It melts in your mouth, in a good way”, “Convincing mozzarella taste”.


FASHION 2EYdqc


REBECCA MASON

Uzu was lucky enough to interview Perth based model, Rebecca Mason @Scene. Photos by Lottie Moore What has been your favourite modelling project? Definitely The Voyager music video for “Meaning of I”. How long have you been modelling for? I was about 13 when I started. Some people told me to go in, so I did and got a contract straight away. What influences your personal style? I don’t know, maybe, no... just everything really. What is your favourite green thing? Broccoli. Broccoli is a good one (laughs). What is your favourite movie or TV show? Girl, Interrupted. What are you always wearing? Long skirts and converse shoes. What is your favourite animal, and which 3 traits do you like best about them? Cats. My cat is cool. He chills out but doesn’t like me hugging him. So I just attack him and get on him, in a non-sexual way (laughs).


SUPOTSU

Photographer Tia Tokic | Styling Hope Richards & Tia Tokic | MUA Tia Tokic | Model Ella Mills


Previous page: New Balance shoes | Above: Stolen Girlfriend Club dress


Adidas jumper | Bra and Bike shorts model’s own


TYR Swimsuit | Cal hat


Roxy rashie | Model’s bike shorts | Nike spikes


Nike Basketball jersey | Nike shoes | Puma shorts


Slazenger jacket | Skins | Adidas shoes


Tights by Skins | Stylists hat


Previous Page: Adidas jersey | Above: Adidas singlet


Adidas jacket | Champion sportsbra | Models hockey skirt | Stylists hat


Photo by Lottie Moore

Volim was founded in 2008 by Tia Tokic. Simplistic, clean cut and minimalistic; the designs veer away from fast, trend-based fashion and instead are classic pieces with a modern feel. Volim’s garments are made for women of various shapes in mind, by utilizing multi-sized fastenings and styles to suit sizes 8-14 . For example, the current collection includes an olive green wrap skirt (pictured) made with a ribbon belt to fit more than one shape. Tokic would like Volim to be an accessible brand so that one piece can suit a myriad of girls, as well as the clothes themselves being items that are able to be worn in many different ways. The pieces are beautifully cut, tailored designs that flatter the figure whilst still being comfortable and easy to wear. Volim in three words? Versatile. Structured. Now.


VOLIM 2012 JEWELLERY Tektite, Hematite, Pyrite, Sandstone & Titanium

Find more @ Volim Robe on Facebook


VOLIM SPR

Clothing and Styling by Tia Tokic | Hair and Makeup by Tia Tokic | P


RING 2012

Photography by Tia Tokic | Models; Hope Richards and Tanja Vasev


BEAUTY

CLARINS GENTLE CARE ROLL ON DEODORANT

REDKEN REAL CONTROL CREMA CARE

The Prada of deodorants. It’s not a I have the hair of a middle-eastern necessity at $28, but I’d bride on her honeymoon in Bali recommend it for those with during wet season. But nobody sensitive skin. It simply smells like knows that because this product clean. I’ll only have to apply it once exists. It’s a leave in conditioner, so in the day but it fits nicely amongst I put it in my hair when I wash it the bottom of my bag, too. It’s main before bed and then heat style it ingredient is farnesol which African in the morning. It not only keeps fishermen traditionally used to rub my hair super tame but also visibly between their hands to remove fishy healthy with shea butter and odour. This deodorant neutralises ceramide . It also lasts for ages, I while respecting skin’s natural only need to use a pea size amount. balance, making it perfect for all This one isn’t for the feather haired; skin types. It also contains witch it’s for girls with potential fro’s. hazel (tightens pores and refreshes), bisabolol (softens and smooths) and rosemary (de-stresses).

Reviews by Shannon Malone

CLINIQUE ACNE SOLUTIONS SOAP BAR Clinique is pricey and totally worth it. I’ve remained faithful to this brand since I first tried it to clear my break outs. The acne solutions range gives you the choice of a foaming cleanser or soap; initially I thought that soap was a little tacky, but I was sold since it was way cheaper. I was pleased to learn that it lasts forever and keeps my skin clear. It comes generously sized in a nice soap dish. It’s a simple product, to remove the day off your face (including make up), just rub it a little between wet hands. You can also use it for body break outs, just cut it in half.


LJEPOTA Photographer Lottie Moore | MUA + Model Loren Sadik


Previous page: Smashbox foundation, highlighter, blush, lipstick and eyebrow pencil. Inglot and Nars eyeshadows. Above: Too Faced Mascara Next page: Sportsgirl necklace. Kit nailpolish


Nars, Stila and Inglot eyeshadow.


d u n e d a i n Photographer Aleksander Markovic | MUA Tia Tokic | Model Kate Hedges All garments by Volim


ART 3`s

Illustration by Stjepan Tokic


Intimate view of the Iris (2012)

CHEYENNE BUFFALO Pick your favourite animal; What are your 3 favourite traits about them? Elephant. Their memories, emotional lives and nature.

We know that you’re interested in horticulture; what’s growing in your garden? I’ve got some silver-beet, broccoli, mints, potatoes, radishes and some seedings too; cauliflower, lettuces and purple carrots. 

Since finishing your degree(s), where do you What influences your art? What inspired these plan to go with your art? pieces? I don’t want to get engulfed by the ‘art world’, it’s not The natural world, grand and microscopic! genuine. But I will continue to paint throughout my life, I would like to produce picture books (I have one to Who are your favourite artists? publish!), and continue to exhibit. I’m surprised my art Hawkwind (band), Beethoven, Kahil Gibran (writer) has taken me this far honestly, it’s funny. and Klimt (painter). What have you studied/plan to study? Bachelor of Design, Permaculture and I intend to do a Masters sometime soon, probably in production horticulture or something related. Do you find that your studies influence your art? For sure, particularly permaculture! 

What do you feel are your 3 main privileges? Health, growing up on a bush property and having love in my life. What is something green that you enjoy? Algae, spinach, decaying copper and mint leaves! Shi Buffalo is a Perth born, Melbourne based artist and designer. You can find more at shibuffalo.com.


Human Bone Marrow (2012)


Cacti in Bloom (2012)


VIVIAN MARLOWE Siahne Rogers, AKA Vivian Marlowe, is a beauty who knows and utilizes her talents. If you were to catch a glimpse of her walking down the street you would most likely think she was dropped into the present day from the 1950s, without having aged a day. Rogers’ stage persona is an alluring mix of sweet and sultry, her style is impeccable and her presence, whether at home or on stage, is intriguing. We caught up with Siahne in her quaint two up/ two down apartment to discuss life, strange happenings during her burlesque performances, and cats; amongst other things.

We’ll start off with; what is your

favourite animal?

I’m going to be really unoriginal and say my favourite animal is a cat.  

What are the traits you like about them?

It comes down to performing, I mean, having feline-like qualities is a very alluring thing on stage. And I don’t know, their slinkiness (laughs).

What is your favourite green thing?

My favourite green thing…oh! Probably that sequined green top. It’s beautiful and it has a lot of sentimental value as a beautiful gift.

Is there any family influence on your performances?

Yes, sort of. I have an older sister whom I helped a few years ago with costumes for a whole heap of stuff she was writing; some plays about gentleman houses during WW2. So I guess that pushed me into it. Other than that, I’ve always had an interest on my own. Has there been any criticism from your peers? Yeah there is, every now and then. But definitely more positive than negative. I wouldn’t say that they (the negative) are my peers. It’s just people making comments about what I do and the fact I get paid for it; but those opinions don’t matter to me.


How would you like your act to grow?

I guess I’d just like to perform on a larger scale but still remain unique and continue portraying the (burlesque) atmosphere at my shows. I want the audience to completely feel it and take it as an art form, not just a show.  

Do you plan on staying in Perth? And have you done shows anywhere other than Perth?

Oh, I don’t know. Perth will always be my home but I will be going other places. And yes, I performed in Adelaide in March and in Melbourne last year. Getting around! (Laughs)

  What has been your favourite act so far?

I really don’t know. I love doing my ‘Wolfie’ routine which is based on a Tex Avery cartoon, but it’s one that holds a lot of sentimental value as it’s the first one I ever did which was all very 1920’s with heavily drenched dark themes. Oh, but I still don’t know!

  Where do you get your costumes? And what influences your themes? Movies. Old movies and music, especially jazz. My life is jazz, it affects everything I do. And I make most of them from scratch, like for my recent Tiki act. Otherwise I source original garments for particular routines.  

What do you enjoy most about performing? Has the recent popularisation of burlesque The feeling I get once I’ve done a good performance, culture affected your acts? I can survive off that alone. But when I know that the Nope. I’m sure for some people it has, but not me. The only way it affects me is driving me to do more and encouraging me to work harder.

  Why did you choose your alias; Vivian Marlowe?

 I like to think that if I could be anyone, I would be the lovechild of Vivian Rutledge and Philip Marlowe from Raymond Chandler’s story (The Big Sleep; 1946) because I think those two are such dynamites as characters. When I first read that book, and when I first saw the original film, the feeling that I got from those experiences was translated into a character.  

audience is on the same level as me while performing, when they know exactly what I’m talking about through movement; that is the best.

Lastly; has anything unusual happened during an act?

This one time; my shoe got stuck to my stockings within probably the first 10 seconds of being on stage, and I just made sure it looked like I had run my foot up my leg, meanwhile pulling my shoe out of my stocking. I actually got an email a couple of weeks later from an audience member saying “I just want to let you know; that trick that you did to straighten the line of your stockings during your act, THAT was amazing.” I could How did your style develop? only respond with “…Thaaaaanks?” (Laughs). So yeah, I always liked listening to old music and watching that’s the weirdest thing to happen to me on stage and old movies with my grandma which was always really I just rolled with it. inspiring. I eventually started to get a little more gutsy,   even just styling my hair like the women in those Siahne performs primarily as a solo performer, but you movies. From there it just became who I am. can also catch her with the Twisted Vaudeville Circus. They’re a group of specified performers, which include jugglers, snake dancers, sword balancers, fire eaters, Have you, or do you plan to study? drag queens, acrobats and contortionists! I’ve studied art and design, and I do want to study more; I want to study everything (laughs). I want to do http://www.twistedvaudevillecircus.com/ architecture and psychology and everything else.


TRISTAN DAVIES

Nostalgia: A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past. Tristan Davies is a Melbourne based, self-taught photographer and visual artist. His images capture fleeting moments to encapsulate subjects in an instance of sentimentality. www.tristandavies.com


LOTTIE MOORE

www.lottiemoorephotography.com


www.terminalillkollectiv.tumblr.com


/WE#


MOVIES

Come and See (1985) A dramatic Russian film which fulfils the definition of brutality directed by Elem Klimov and written by Ales Adamovich. The film is historically based and created in commemoration to the Soviet Victory in World War II, and follows a fictional story of a young Belorussian boy; Flyora (Aleksei Kravchenko). Flyora’s psychological journey is a most unholy one after joining the soviet army, a constant terror is followed one after another in many raw and inexplicably hellish scenes. The haunting scenes though are vigorously captivating through amazing cinematography and edits of uneasy sounds. Note: the main character Flyora had to undergo hypnotism whilst playing his role because of the intensity of the film; so a huge warning; this is not for the light hearted. 9/10. Reviews by Amy Ruth Gibbs


Lifeforce (1985)

Is a well overlooked horror-sci fi-thriller directed by Tobe Hooper, featuring goddess Mathilda May. It begins with a group of curious space explorers encountering something not of this Earth. Bringing back what appears harmless, they are unaware of the life draining chaos they are about to unleash upon their home planet. If you thrive off the cheesy, gore effects of the 70’s - 90’s era, this is an entertaining must see. (7/10)

Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Has got to be one of the best anti-war flix; directed and wonderfully stylised by Stanley Kubrick. Based on the Vietnam war, the first half explores the psychological tampering of marines in training; while the second half follows main character “Joker” (Matthew Modine) as he experiences real war. Aspects of Joker’s irony and humour correlate to perspectives of war, but ultimately the film leaves you feeling concerned and uncomfortable - how we should feel in regards to war. To be endorsed. (10/10)

Heavenly Creatures (1994)

Is an intense biographical drama, based on the crime of two girls Pauline Parker (Melanie Lynsky) and Juliet Hulmes (young Kate Winslet). The narrative is based on the journal entries of Pauline prior to the crime. Director Peter Jackson displays the intensity of the paired relationship with wonderful, bright, dreamlike scenes. As the film treads to the end it’s a shocking feeling to digest the facts of what became of these two girls. (7/10)


SERIES

Sailor Moon (1991-1997)

Is an adventurous five-season Japanese fantasy animation following teenager Usagi. Throughout the series, Usagi unravels her destiny as the legendary warrior Sailor Moon who is to assemble her fellow sailor soldiers in order to protect Earth and the galaxy. It is a strange show to re-visit as an adult, if you can get past the flawed views surrounding the naive teenage girls on vanity, love and romance. The storyline actually gets wrapped around a real hectic and thrilling plot. With each season concluding intensely; the show is also highlighted by many great comedic moments presented entertainingly by well illustrated expressions. Note: if you’re going to take this show on, make sure you’re embracing it in it’s original Japanese form. The western version eliminates too many quality scenes which make you doubt it’s family genre. Be amused. 4.5/10 Reviews by Amy Ruth Gibbs


Daria (1997-2001)

Directed by Karen Disher and written by Glenn Eichler and Sam Johnson, the show brilliantly takes the piss out of idiotic teens and condescending adults, in a display shown through the clever and cynical main character Daria, who is not ashamed to be an outsider to the world. The humour is largely based around quick witted sarcasm and subtly illustrated facial expressions which perfectly express her mood in response to the outnumbering morons Daria has to deal with during her teenage life. A favourite and definitely worth a watch. 9/10

Grizzly Man (2005)

Directed and written by German Werner Herzog. It’s a biographical documentation of the eccentric activist Timothy Treadwell, who was devastatingly killed in October of 2003 with Amie Hugenard while living amongst the wild grizzly bears of Alaska. The film is filled with much personal recordings by Timothy Treadwell during his activism and passion whilst living with the bears, as well as a few bizarre and intriguing interviews offered by his peers. All-in-all, the documentary has a mix of shocking and heart-warming elements. The narrating might come off a bit strange, otherwise it shouldn’t disappoint. 7/10.


MUSIC

ELECTRONIC Artist: Felix Laband Album: Dark Days Exit Release: 2005 South Africa

NOISE / HARDCORE Artist: Melt-Banana Album: Scratch or Stitch Release: 1996 Japan

MINIMAL / MODERN CLASSICAL Artist: Alva Noto + Ryuichi Sakamoto Album: Insen Release: 2005 Germany

POP Artist: The Sugar Shoppe Album: The Sugar Shoppe Release: 1967 Canada

ACID TECHNO / GLITCH Artist: AFX Album: Hangable Auto Bulb Release: 1995 Britain

GIRL PUNK Artist: Kyah Album: Slapdash Release: 1985 Japan

GRINDCORE / DEATHGRIND Artist: Assuck Album: Necrosalvation EP Release: 1989 USA Florida

AMBIENT Artist: Jan Jelinek Album: Kosmischer Pitch Release: 2005 Germany

HIP HOP Artist: Ultramagnetic MC’s Album: Critical Beatdown Release: 1988 USA New York


BOOKS RANT by Chuck Palahniuk (2007)

“The future you have tomorrow won’t be the same future you had yesterday.”

The narrative follows the aftermath created by the deceased protagonist, Buster ‘Rant’ Casey; the creator and leader of ‘The Party Crashers’, a demolition gang of angry youths intent on destruction, accordingly preserving the existent social structure. The gang was created after Casey moved from his provincial home town of Middleton to the big city. Rant is written as an oral biography, an interview style lay out that doesn’t follow a chronological time line but instead skips generations depending on who is narrating the text, and the subject of which they are discussing. Echo Lawrence, a fellow Party Crasher and Casey’s love interest, appears to know the most about the elusive Rant, and was the reason the Party Crashers set out to Middleton to find out more about their leader after his death. Rant isn’t one of Palahniuk’s finest, but it still manages to shock in his signature style; Casey’s quirks (of which there are many) are exposed through stories of his childhood and subsequently short adulthood, from his olfactory skill of being able to identify the owner of a used tampon or wet condom, to spreading rabies throughout the continent and becoming Middletons first serial killer. As with most Palahniuk text the real twist lies towards the end. If you aren’t a C.P fan, or you don’t particularly enjoy the feeling of gagging over pages as you read them, then this probably isn’t the right Palahniuk book for you. 3/5

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Stephen Chbosky; Pocket Books 1999

“WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE”

This is the first novel by author Stephen Chbosky. Set in the late nineties it is written from the perspective of Charlie, a freshman in high school, through his anonymous letters to a friend who would, according to girls in the hallway at his school, listen and understand. As the title suggests, Charlie is an introvert; coming into his first year at high school without any friends, he spends the majority of his time studying in an attempt to get an academic scholarship. The way in which he interacts with characters through out the book makes you wonder if he is slightly autistic, or is purely a ‘strange boy’ like some readers suggest. His quirks lead to his introduction to Patrick and Sam at a football game; seniors at his school and stepsiblings. Charlie instantly becomes enamoured with Sam, and looks to Patrick as an older brother; it is Patrick who tells him what masturbation is, at sixteen he was seemingly unaware of it. Through Charlie’s relationship with the siblings he is introduced into a world of social drinking and smoking, and he gradually learns to participate in the thoughts of those outside of himself. The book covers themes such as homophobia, rape, abortion and teen suicide; however as intense as the issues are, they struggle to make an impact as the naivety of Charlie seems to obliterate the majority of the feelings associated with the subjects. Despite the vehement themes in the book, it was still an extremely easy read, probably due to the simplistic narration. If you enjoy coming-of-age tales then this may be a book for you, however there may (definitely) be points in the book where you question Charlies sanity, as well as those who deal with him. Don’t expect to fall in love with any characters in this book; at best you will come away with a handful of tumblr-esque quotes and a desire to read a more comprehensive book. 2.5/5 (Sorry Chbosky) Reviews by Hope Richards


GAMES

EL SHADDAI

A

ASCENSION OF THE METATRON

game based on the Book of Enoch has to be trippy. Eating shrooms and copping this was an ambitious feat. The fighting gameplay is limited but flows, the various combos strung together with magnificent light/SFX. The story has some shit to do with hunting fallen angels in their kingdom. The variation of the levels is breathtaking, some of the best and ethereal I’ve seen. The game switches into a side scroller with short anime sequences that give a satisfying break between epic multi-dimensional down-the-rabbit-hole shit. The aesthetic of each level can be vast from the one prior, which makes this game too confusing to play on psychedelics. The dialogue of your guide in this game speaking so much cryptic shit whilst being on the phone to some higher power is eccentric to say the least. To be honest, the fighting mechanism is really just button-bashing; leaning towards nailing combos with the high double jump/holding down of buttons. You can choose from three weapons, each with their own advantages and disadvantages; aptly named THE WEAPONS OF GOD. Some of the minor enemies are similar, with a minor palette adjustment to suit the level design which blew. The main bosses called ‘The Watchers’ are fought in smaller rooms. Musically, I find this game reflective of Okami (PS2). I also found similarities with the level design but this shit is on another plateau. Overall; don’t play this game for its replayability or gameplay. Get on shrooms or lsd and trip ballz mane. One of the most aesthetically beautiful games I ever did see. -REVIEW BY CHAWKWIND


LIFESTYLE oe2rqE Photo by Lottie Moore


Oh Mate

By Mungo Kennedy Rothschild I was unlucky enough to be born into a period of time when men value strange cards above all else. So the man with all the cards deals according to which team has the biggest collective deck and in this case the men with the all the cards are the tradesmen. The upper middle class has historically been the most powerful section of society when it comes to dictating which consumer goods are fed to the rest of us; yep that means you, the unemployed/student. The upper middle class decides and the middle class get what they decided on six months earlier and, the upper class will always have their little niche market (www.richkidsofinstagram.tumblr.com). Normally artisans are lower middle class, but not this time. If the political, cultural, social, and in this case, geological, ingredients are just right, something amazing happens. The Artisans Of Western Australian were almost by blind luck dealt the most powerful hand at the table. With AoWA at the cockpit of Australian consumerism what was to be their next move? Would they in fact seize the throne and become the rightful upper middle class? Would the artisans be capable of handling the responsibility of being the most important component of consumer culture? The artisans have surely made an impact on every category of consumer goods.


Let’s begin with fashion. 90’s fashion seems to have been largely grunge, apparently because everyone was certain that since the 20th century was so wack-balls filled with near death experiences for planet Earth it was a certainty that it would in fact happen, even if it was to happen on the very last minute of the century. But when we did die we damn right better be dressed for the occasion. Since the world never did end (lol), grunge seemed obsolete for the artisans to pick up so instead they embraced the postclassical ‘strayaism’ way of dressing. Like how the apocalypse inspired grunge, strayaism was inspired by having a lot of money and mild lead poisoning. Black or white t-shirts with a design inspired by homosexuality but are inherently “Not Gay” is seen as a staple of this look. As well as this, the Mexican pointy boots are much adored by artisans. These boots are assumed to have been smuggled from Mexico in the late 90’s and sold on the black market since there is no place known within Australia where you can purchase such ridiculous footwear. The artisans have changed the way Australians dress but more disturbing still, they change the way we eat. Since they are uneducated in any sort of hospitality they have not started anew as they did within the fashion industry, but have propped up in certain existing areas. Seen as a typical Australian cuisine the kebab is embraced by the artisan as a healthy, tasty and most of all, Australian meal. While Australian cuisine thrives the artisans completely avoid any Asian food because they are “boat people” and because “fuck off we’re full”. Surely with a work force larger than any ever assembled outside of science fiction this legion of fluorescent soldiers would march through Perth and leave a silky trail of construction, like a hyper productive Oakley wearing snail. Surely they would be recruited to craft spires so tall that on a cloudy October the tops of these would be concealed as if they were the domain of gods, not men. Rainy Square was however completed earlier this month. Rainy Square unlike Trafalgar Square, Red square, and #$*&!$&@ square is actually a food court. Luckily like most squares it is located near all types of major transit serving as kind of meeting place and cultural centre for the people of Perth. Unlucky for me I do not actually like to sit in the presence of more than ten or so fast food outlets at once. So if I don’t like Rainy Square, who does? The men in fluorescent jackets do. With such physically hard work they quickly develop a hunger that can only be filled by one of the thirty five fast food outlets Rainy has to offer. With three huge development sights around this twentieth century monument to fast food it is no surprise that come lunchtime Rainy Square looks like a new year’s rave is being conducted in a brightly lit room. Built by artisans for artisans is the way things seem to be going around here. This interesting group of men are unlikely to seek employment in another field as the only thing that pays better then digging holes in Perth right now is brain surgery and you can’t wear sunglasses while doing that as well as it not being constituted as “Living Barry” as it takes place indoors. Since the job is so well paid, as well as being marketed as the best occupation in the world by the government who is dying to use its money ASAP hiring men to build shopping centre food courts in the centre of the city. No one hates these men though, they would just be better off if they were more poorly paid. Right now they experience the same soul death as all people do that are forced to work hard on things no man could be passionate about, they just have way more incentive not to break away and become rock stars. Bruce Spring would have never written about how much working on highways and washing cars sucked is he was paid $45 an hour. I can safely say that Bruce Springsteen is worth a few underpaid able bodied men.


『京都』 Kyoto, Japan If you’ve ever envisioned yourself traveling to Japan, and that vision is one of quaint temples, burning incense and well planned city streets then consider basing your journey in the ancient city of Kyoto.

As the heart of a land of contrasts, Kyoto also provides a vibrant city atmosphere akin to any other in Japan. Stimulate your sense of the bizarre at any Japanese gaming arcade, karaoke parlour, or themed restaurant. You’ll be greeted with an inevitable onslaught of the phrase: irashai-mase! (please come in), initiating your entry in to the weird and wonderful world of Japan’s popular culture.

Kyoto’s Gion district remains as Japan’s most prestigious geisha community. If the chance prevails, you may see one – or many - in full attire hurrying along Gion’s narrow cobbled streets to What was once the nation’s capital until 1896 – the their next exclusive appointment. city is still regarded as Japan’s cultural heart, boasting over two thousand places of worship – You will want to travel to Kyoto in early March, both in the Buddhist and Shinto tradition. To this April or May – for your visit to coincide with day, Kyoto remains as a kind of open-air museum Japanese springtime festivities. As will another of Japan’s rich history, as many of its buildings several thousand other tourists, making decent were left undamaged post-war. airfares and accommodation packages fairly difficult to obtain. Some of Japan’s most notable attractions can be found in and around Kyoto. It’s the perfect setting Early April sees Japan explode into vivid colour amongst two giant cities; Osaka and Kobe – of with hanami, or cherry blossom ‘viewing festival’. which Kyoto is considered to be in the same Powdery pink ‘sakura’ blossoms will provide the keihanshin metropolitan area. This makes the perfect backdrop to your lasting memories of whole of the country’s South-West easily accessible Kyoto’s ancient sites. You’ll find yourself turning with the purchase of a JR (Japan Rail) pass. Japanese – by which I mean, taking an excessive amount of photos. Central to most Japanese cities is the eki, or train station. Kyoto station serves millions of Kyoto’s nearest Kansai International Airport (KIX) commuters annually, while also featuring a (Osaka) serves most of southern Japan. From this labyrinth of underground malls, upper-level impressive man-made island terminal you can restaurants, cafes, theatres, and a rooftop garden reach Kyoto directly by train or coach in less than with incomparable city views. two hours. Along the way you’ll catch a glimpse of Japan’s typical urban sprawl - a kind of industrial Areas nearest to major train stations feature the ugliness that is almost scenic to foreign visitors. best accommodation options. Whether you’re booking a hostel or a Hilton, you’ll always be Kyoto and its surrounds are hugely underrated as guaranteed of somewhere freakishly tidy, on a tourist destinations. A visit to the region will offer street with more vending machines than the most genuine experience of Japanese pedestrians. traditions, in a thoroughly modern one thousand year-old city. Unmissable sights of Kyoto include the panoramic view from Kiyomizudera, the aura of the famed Be not afraid if your Japanese isn’t all there – as Kinka-kuji or Golden Pavillion, and the iconic zen people often find it more adorable than frustrating. rock garden at Ryoan-ji. Each provide a unique opportunity to appreciate the Japanese value of You can easily travel on a budget, with friends, or tranquillity. even solo. Consider booking your next holiday to Kyoto, or add it to your itinerary if you’re visiting our friends to the far-east.

ケンドルさん。 Kendall-san.


T R A V E L J O U R N A L

The Hundertwasser House by Friedensreich Hundertwasser -Vienna

The Naturhistorisches (Natural History) Museum - Vienna


The creators of UZU would like to thank all of our amazing contributors, as well as all of our friends and family. We do not receive commission for the products used and reviewed in the magazine, and all are endorsed by UZU. All inclusive photos are creditted to Tia Tokic unless specified otherwise. The image used as the cover page is not our own and we do not claim ownership of it; all credit is to the original photographer. (Cyanobacterium Lyngbya; source: nasa.gov)



UZU | Issue One