Pollitics
THINGS THAT WILL BE AFFECTED BY THE CARBON TAX
10
We here at Pelican Magazine have been shocked and appalled at the evil machinations of Julia Gillard for quite some time. However we were not prepared for this vile woman’s ultimate weapon of mass destruction, her Death Star if you will: the Carbon Tax. Our elite team of Pelican writers collected as much evidence as they could about this Carbon Tax’ horrible effects on our nation, proof that Empress Gillard wishes to bring Australia to its knees. Many Pelican writers died to bring us this information
1.
Touring musical acts affected The world’s top musical acts are forced to use Tupac Shakur-esque holograms to cut down carbon costs from touring. Now The Wombats’ live performances have even less depth than ever before!
2.
Illustrations by Jessica Cockerill, Written by Richard Ferguson
3.
Perth Zoo affected The Australian Government taxes the carbon from animals at $60 per shit. Perth Zoo releases its animal population into the Perth streets due to the zoo’s overbearing carbon costs as a result of animal flatulence.
UWA Law School affected The UWA Law School is closed down due to the high costs form the amounts of waste (read graduates) it produces. As a result, all graduates have now been quarantined in the Law Courtyard until they can probably disposed of efficiently.
4.
McDonalds Fries affected Increased carbon costs mean that McDonalds is forced to make fries with real potatoes instead of the cholesterol they pump from Gina Rinehart’s bloodstream. As a result, Gina Rinehart sadly exploded in the middle of an Andrew Bolt interview due to a cholesterol overload.