Imprint_2010-10-15_v33_13

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Impr int The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper

Friday, October 15, 2010

Vol 33, No

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imprint . uwaterloo . ca

9 Sports

Arts

Naismith Classic preview.

Guerilla Bombing.

Local knitters are keeping warm through the winter and adding creative flair to the tri-cities.

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The Warrior men will be trying for their third ever 3-peat. See how the tournament stacks up inside.

The great debate: Ward 6 candidates face off

Brent golem

Ward 6 candidates continued campaigning by discussing issues of the Oct. 25 election this past Wednesday night with a debate held in the Student Life Centre. Some topics on the chopping block are amalgamation, the Northdale neighbourhood and the future of transit in Waterloo. Divyesh Mistry staff reporter

Ryan Webb news editor

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apid buses or light rail, off-road or on road bike lanes: transportation is taking on a whole new level in the upcoming municipal election. With the recently released draft of the Region of Waterloo Transportation Master Plan that indicates the region’s future plans for transportation and transit, candidates for local ward councillors, regional councillors, the regional council chair, and the mayor are taking note and formulating their transportation platforms. The biggest transportation issue being discussed in this election is the proposed light rail transit (LRT) line that would connect Conestoga Mall to Fairview Park Mall with the adapted bus rapid transit (aBRT) route between Fairview Park Mall and Ainslie Terminal, effectively supplementing the current iXpress route that goes on the relatively same route. With an estimated total of $700 million to build the system, how to fund the line is up in the air. The federal government has contributed $265 million, the province has promised to offer $300 million, and the Region of Waterloo is expected to pay about $235 million. There are two candidates for Regional Chair: Robert Milligan who doesn’t support the LRT in its current proposal and would prefer a more costeffect design, and the current chair, Ken Seiling, who agrees with the current proposal. See WALK page 4

IN SPIRIT OF COMING OUT WEEK

GLOW’s history anchors a proud week Michelle Sterba staff reporter

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lmost any UW student that hears the name GLOW will know that it refers to the campus’ Queer and Questioning Community Centre. What many students don’t know is that GLOW is the longest-running queer organization in Canada. Today GLOW is dedicated to providing support to the queer community through several different mediums, ranging from a support line to ongoing events and awareness campaigns. But where did GLOW begin? Over 35 years ago, on March 8, 1971, the club held its first meeting. Back then the organization was called the Waterloo Universities’ Gay Liberation Movement (WUGLM, or “wuglum”). The club was activist in nature and served both the University of Waterloo and the Waterloo Lutheran University, what is now known as Laurier. WUGLM organized dances and participated in “zaps” since commercial gay bars did not exist in the 1970s. In these “zaps,” a group

of homosexual men and women would go to a bar and pair off as straight couples. The group would wait until everyone felt reasonably secure, before pairing off into homosexual couples to the surprise of the other club-goers. During this time there was little positive information about homosexuality. To combat this, the government’s Opportunities for Youth program awarded several members a grant in 1973. The book Project Socrates was the result of this and was well received by the homosexual community. Unfortunately many KW-Record readers did not approve of the book and felt that it was just a sex manual, which would cause gullible heterosexuals to convert to homosexuality. Various articles were also published in The Chevron and Imprint, and in the mid 1980s the first regular homosexual column, “A Different Light” appeared. GLOW has had several organizational and name changes over the years. In the ‘80s, and 1990s, the club was known as the Gay and Lesbian Liberation of Waterloo (GLLOW). Feds switched the club into a service in 1995, and in 1998 the name changed to Gays and

Lesbians of Waterloo (GLOW). At the 2007 to 2008 Annual General Meeting, GLOW went through another name change as they are now called GLOW The Queer and Questioning Community Centre. The acronym “GLOW” was kept in remembrance of the past, while its meaning was changed to encompass a much larger queer community. Back when GLOW was WUGLM it was a community based organization before becoming officially associated with the university, and as such has never been restricted to the UW community. Throughout the years, GLOW has had close ties with the rest of the KitchenerWaterloo LGBTTQ community. Any other organizations that have cropped up have had their roots in GLOW special projects, or have been organized by former GLOW volunteers. GLOW is dedicated to providing a positive and welcoming environment to all members of the campus community regardless of their sexual or gender identity. For more information regarding GLOW visit www.knowyourglow.ca. See FEATURES for more information about Coming Out Week



News

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010 news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Municipal Election 2010 Uptown candidates face off at Memorial Rec Centre Ward 7 candidates’ debate focuses on tax rates, intensification of Waterloo’s core Ryan Webb

Luna Wei

news editor

assistant news editor

kathleen ing

Noel Butler

Melissa Durrell

Noel Butler holds experience working as a mechanical/quality engineer for Toyota Manufacturing Cambridge, the Government of Ontario, and the University of Guelph. With a quirky campaign idea to share origami paper cranes to constitutents that outline his community vision, Butler is holding a run/ walk every Wednesday evening leading up to the election to give a chance for residents to ask questions and discuss his candidacy while promoting a healthy lifestyle.

Having helped her father run for city councillor, Melissa Durrell got involved in politics at a young age. Her experience as a television journalist has led to an involvement with local politics. She has also been involed with many events and charities combating diabetes, cancer and promoting literacy. She has been a resident of Waterloo since 2004, and has begun raising her young family of two children here with her husband Jason, who works as a high school teacher at WCI.

All Photos BY Ryan Webb

Erin Epp

Duncan McLean

Edwin Laryea

Peter Woolstencroft

As a senior student completing her degree at Wilfrid Laurier, Erin Epp brings a student‘s perspective to her electoral run. She also brings experience with involvement in community resources in the region, and has served as a Director on the board of the Centre for Community Based Research, Learning, and Action. Epp has focused her platform on providing more accessible government, supporting creative and sustainable intensification in Uptown core, and promoting local businesses.

A 39-year resident of Uptown Waterloo, Duncan McLean graduated with a Bachelor of Arts from UW. McLean went on to become Vice President of Primus Realty, and he has also held positions with the Waterloo Park Committee and as a board member for the Child Witness Centre. Sustainable budgets, environmental leadership, repairing crumbling infrastructure, and improving quality of life are the primary issues McLean hopes to address as city councillor.

Edwin Laryea is a former educator who served as Department Head of Languages at Bluevale Collegiate, and also served as the Assistant Supervisor/Principal of International Languages for the Waterloo Regional School Board. He has done work with the United Way KW and the Kiwanis Club of Twin Cities. Laryea’s purpose for running is to expand Council’s social representation and to include “new leadership and new voices” to establish a more “representative” municipal government.

Peter Woolstencroft is a UW professor emeritus of political science. Born and educated in Western Canada, Woolstencroft has lived in Uptown Waterloo since the 1970s. As a political scientist, his areas of research have included party politics in Canada, and more recently, U.S.-Canada relations. His platform focuses on reducing municipal spending , intensifying Uptown while maintaining a “human scale,” and ensuring that the city is engaged in sustainable environmental practices.


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News

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Municipal Election 2010 By train, bus, bike, or walk? Continued from front page

Of the three candidates for regional councillor (Jack Hone, Jane Mitchell, and Sean Strickland), all of them oppose the LRT, due to either funding or costs, though Mitchell and Strickland originally supported the plan. Hone however has supported the idea of purchasing the rail in its current form now for future growth. Since they deal with mainly local issues, ward councilors don’t have direct say on the LRT issue, which is a regional issue. However, that has not prevented them from offering their opinions. Various candidates agree that increasing bus routes, capacity, and frequency will help improved ridership levels and decrease congestion. The exact nature of the rapid transit system is dividing the Waterloo mayoral candidates, and making for spirited debates. All four (incumbent Brenda Halloran, Jan d’Ailly, Franklin Ramsoomair, and Dale Ross) for Waterloo have taken a position that instead of an expensive LRT racing through the tri-cities, that a bus rapid transit (BRT) would be more efficient

for a lesser cost. The incumbent mayor of Waterloo, Brenda Halloran, has stated in recent debates that due to the province reneging on the promised funding for the LRT, the project is “no longer affordable.” As a result, she has joined the chorus of candidates standing up against the plan. Ramsoomair warned voters at a recent debate that, “we do not have the luxury” to invest in an LRT for the time being, because of Waterloo’s growing deficit spending in recent years. He suggested that the region “make use of existing infrastructure,” referring to an expanded bus service. Ramsoomair left the possibility of an LRT open in the “long-term” once the municipal governments had “stabilized” its finances. Despite the questions over funding, there seems to be a consensus among Waterloo’s prospective mayors that the region “can’t keep building roads [and] needs some form of rapid transit,” in the words of d’Ailly. In the past candidate Ross had suggested exploring the possibility of a monorail system. However, in a recent

mayoral debate, Ross had changed his tune, now seeking a “dedicated [bus] line between the two malls.” The mayoral candidates also discussed non-motorized forms of transportation as part of a renewed plan. In response to a question from the Waterloo Student Planning Advisory, many supported expanded bicycle infrastructure. D’Ailly introduced the idea of an off-road biking and walking trail that would encircle the entire city of Waterloo, what he called the “Innovation Trail.” Halloran highlighted the current bike trail system in Waterloo that she claimed was expanded under her tenure as mayor. She further proposed a “bike shelter” for Uptown Waterloo. Ramsoomair was open to the idea, but suggested it should be up to students to “tell us what they want... what is best for them.” Meanwhile, Ross suggested that bike paths were not a major concern of his, as students should live closer to school, “so they can walk.”

NO.TO BE ELECTED

Mayor, City of Waterloo

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Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 1 – Southwest

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Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 3 – Lakeshore

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Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 4 – Northeast

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Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 5 - Southeast

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Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 6 – Central-Columbia

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Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 7 – Uptown

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Chair, Regional Municipality of Waterloo

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Councillor, Regional Municipality of Waterloo

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Membre, Le Conseil scolaire de district du Centre-Sud-Ouest (French Language Public School Board, Region of Waterloo, Counties of Huron, Middlesex, Perth and Wellington) Member, Waterloo Region District School Board

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Mayor, City of Waterloo

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Please note the following acclamations: KAREN SCIAN

Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 2 – Northwest

ROBERT HÉTU

Member, Waterloo Catholic District School Board

JANEK P. JAGIELLOWICZ Membre, Le Conseil scolaire de district catholique Centre Sud (French Language Separate School Board) to represent the Region of Waterloo and the Counties of Brant, Haldimand and Norfolk)

DOROTHÉE PETIT-PAS

REGULAR VOTING DAY – MONDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2010 | 10:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Students living in on-campus residences will vote at: University of Waterloo – Multi-Purpose Room, Student Life Centre 200 University Avenue,Waterloo, Ontario Note: This voting location is for on-campus residents only. Students living in off-campus accommodations should contact the Clerk’s Office at 519-747-8777 or 519-747-8704 to find out where they vote. PROXY APPLICATIONS A person who has been appointed a voting proxy must appear in person before the City Clerk, City Hall, Main Floor, 100 Regina Street South,Waterloo, Ontario to complete a required form including a statutory declaration that the person is the person appointed as a voting proxy.

The City Clerk’s Office will be open for this purpose from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday to Friday, including Election Day, October 25, 2010;

www.waterloo.ca

A key issue for students during this month’s municipal election is the future of Waterloo Region’s transportation infrastructure.

news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

MUNICIPAL ELECTIONS WILL BE HELD ON MONDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2010 for the following offices: OFFICE FOR WHICH VOTE TO BE HELD

Michael L. Davenport

Luna Wei asst. news editor Animal rights activists press UBC

This past Thanksgiving, a letter addressed to UBC’s president was sent with support from 60 advocacy groups asking the university to disclose information on its on-campus animal research. Activists from around the world have gathered around the group, Stop UBC Animal Research, to disclose practices of animal testing that have been ongoing or the past 10 years. “UBC’s lack of transparency to date has given the impression it does not want the public to see what researchers are doing to animals privately,” the letter states. The university has a reputation of one of the largest animal research facilities in Canada with an estimated 100,000 animals subjected to testing. The group Stop UBC Animal Research was established in February with an initial 300 volunteers with a goal to inform the public about the university’s ventures with tax dollars. “Our ultimate goal is to end animal research at UBC. We are trying to find out information about the UBC program now but in Canada much of that information is hidden from the public,” spokesperson of Stop UBC, Brian Vincent, explained. Bishop’s bans bottled water

Bishop’s University recently announced its plans to ban the sale of bottled water, the first university in Quebec to implement the ban. This follows suit of the national trend as other Canadian universities such as Winnipeg, Queen’s, Ryerson, and Ottawa among others. The initiative at Bishop’s began as a student campaign with the slogan, “Think Global, Drink Local.” “Each bottle of water requires twice its volume in water to make the plastic bottle, and one-quarter its volume in oil over the course of its life cycle,” said Katrina Kroeze, a fourth

year student who helped initiate the campaign. Riding on the success of “Drink Local,” a referendum was recently held where a majority voted to ban the sale of bottled water. The university worked with its campus food provider in removing the sales of bottled water from food retailers and vending machines. Following the ban, Bishop University hopes to take further environmental action in removing multiple-use 18 litre water dispensers around campus and introducing reusable water container refilling stations. “Bishop’s University prides itself on being a leader among Quebec’s universities in implementing sustainable practices,” Bishop’s principal and vice-chancellor Michael Goldbloom commented. Carleton explores privatizing its international recruitment

Carleton is considering a proposal to allow a private Australian-based company to promote the number of international students on campus. The company invites international students to attend a specialized program hosted on the campus. Students attending the Navitas institution would not be admitted into Carleton until their first year is completed, from which they would continue their studies. The company would independently hire their own instructors following the institution’s guidelines on academic qualification. Facing goals outlined from the government for Ontario universities to increase their number of international students by 50 per cent in five years, Carleton is on the look-out for effective strategies to reach their target. Carleton University ranks fourth in Ontario in recruiting international students with a 10 per cent undergraduate and 18 per cent graduate international student population. — With files from Macleans, Ottawa Citizen, and Vancouver Sun


News

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Michelle Sterba staff reporter

Azra P staff reporter

Riaz Nathu reporter

All trapped Chilean miners pulled from mine

The world watched in awe as the first of the Chilean miners emerged from the San Jose mine on Wednesday Oct. 13, and rejoiced as the last joined the rest on the surface nearly 24 hours later. The miners had been trapped underground for 70 days after 700,000 tons of rock collapsed the mine. This has become the longest underground entrapment in human history, 17 days of which the men were feared to be dead. A cramped 13-foot capsule, called Phoenix, conveyed the men through the 2,000 feet of rock between them and the surface. The men had to don special sunglasses and sweaters before making their way to the surface, out of the heat and darkness of the collapsed mine. The men emerged from the mine in relatively good health, albeit psychologically traumatized in several cases. They were greeted by the president, their families and friends, many of which have been staying at the nearby “camp hope” since finding out their loved ones were alive. Ryan Webb

Standing on guard, with pride: GLOW, The Queer and Questioning Community Centre, hosted a series of events last week to celebrate Coming Out Week 2010. This large pride flag, hanging in the SLC Great Hall, was “guarded” by members of GLOW on Wednesday night. See page 29 this week as Imprint’s Features section provides special coverage of this year’s Coming Out Week.

Hurricane Paula

With winds of 160 kilometres per hour, Hurricane Paula (a Category 2 storm) roared on Mexico’s vacation resort on Wednesday. Authorities in Cancun called for evacuation of 1,500 residents and 60 fishermen and suspended all sea transportation, leaving 1,800 tourists in Cozumel. Local and International flights were cancelled Tuesday and Wednesday.

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“It’s already low season for tourism and with this hurricane, things are going to get worse,” a water-skiing tour business owner in the targeted area said, speaking about his own and other businesses in the area. The government of Mexico has issued a warning for the country’s Caribbean coast from Punta Allen north to Cabo Catoche. According to CBC news, forecasters warned of possible flooding and landslides and the potential storm surge can raise water levels as much as four to six feet above normal levels. China’s Communist Party elders call for increased freedoms

A letter addressed to the National People’s Congress (China’s parliament) has been receiving much attention. A group of 23 Communist Party elders, some of whom were quite influential in their political careers, are calling for fundamental change in China with respect to freedom of speech. The elders want more freedom of expression for the people on the internet and more respect for journalists. The letter comes at a time of much activity in the area of freedom of speech in China. Liu Xiaobo, jailed last year for expressing his desire for peaceful political change, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. However, most Chinese nationals are unaware as the Chinese government has block all news stories covering Xiaobo recent award. The letter specifically speaks to China’s current censorship system, which permeates well beyond internet searches and includes Facebook, other social media and cell phone communication. The letter also comes at a time of upcoming key party meetings that are expected to create future leaders and policy. — With files from CBC, BBC, CNN, and Associated Press

’s t I y x o Se

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Waterloo 7 King St. N 519-886-4500

StagShop.com


Opinion

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010 opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

IMPRINT

Coming out without fear

The University of Waterloo’s official student newspaper

Friday, October 15, 2010 Vol. 33, No. 13 Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Brent Golem Head Reporter, vacant Lead Proofreader, Divyesh Mistry Cover Editor, vacant News Editor, Ryan Webb News Assistant, Luna Wei Opinion Editor, Clara Shin Opinion Assistant, Lindsay Simmons Features Editor, Dinh Nguyen Features Assistant, Zoe Kim Arts & Entertainment, Michael Chung Arts Assistant, Marta Borowska Science & Tech Editor, Jordan Campbell Science & Tech Assistant, Jennifer Nguyen Sports & Living Editor, vacant Sports & Living Assistant, Namish Modi Photo Editor, Ethan Oblak Photo Assistant, Sophie Côté Graphics Editor, Alcina Wong Graphics Assistant, Majuratan Sadagopan Production Staff Michelle Sterba, Gabriela Grant, Ananya Chattoraj, Jason Day, Ivan Lui, Caitlin McIntyre, Julia Peters, Jacqueline Lee, Tammy Chou, Anuj Vasishta, Ronald Chui, Mika Ilic Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122. Next staff meeting: Monday, Oct. 18 12:30 p.m. Next board of directors meeting: Friday, October 15 12:30 p.m.

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t’s hard to believe that there are people in our world who hate others because of something they can’t control. It makes me both unbelievably angry and disappointed when I think about the fact that there are human beings on this planet — a planet filled with people of all sorts of races, sizes, and religious beliefs — that are filled with hate for two people that simply want to express love. How is this even possible? They’re not walking down the streets offending people, cursing, or physically harming others. They are simply asking for the same rights that every single other person on this planet has. Surprise, surprise. They want to be treated like humans, too. Another homosexual teenager in Oklahoma took his own life last week. A week after hearing members of his town debate for three hours over whether or not Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender History Month would be recognized as valid during a city council meeting, 19-year-old Zach Harrington committed suicide. Harrington’s family believes it was a direct result of the hate and “toxic” statements brought forward during the meeting. Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi, 18, committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge after his college roommate allegedly secretly videotaped him having sex with another male.

It makes me wonder why we cannot just accept love at face value. Love is love. Love is all you need, right?

Every single day, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals are faced with hate from people who either can’t understand where they are coming from, or simply choose not to. In my opinion, it is nothing but astonishing. As much as I risk being shunned for using two celebrities as an example, I can’t help but think of a pivotal moment in my life when I finally realized exactly how I feel about homosexuality. I was watching an episode of Oprah where she had both Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia de Rossi as guests. A few minutes of chat ensued before Oprah broached the topic of Degeneres’ relationship with de Rossi. A compilation of photos and video from their recent nuptials was played and sitting in my living room, alone, I began to cry. But it was not just a few tears strolling down my cheek. I found myself fully submerged in an emotional breakdown — Kleenex out, mascara

ruined, wishing I wasn’t single, breakdown. And it was sparked by how completely and utterly infatuated, in love, and happy these two women were (I’m a bit of a romantic.) It makes me wonder why we cannot just accept love at face value. Love is love. Love is all you need, right? As much as we see more and more people coming out to what appears to be a more accepting world, more has to be done. Seeing the teenage gay couple kissing on my favourite soap, As The World Turns, made me ask myself: if the stay-at-home-moms and retired ladies of the world are OK with it, then, really, what’s the problem? Are television shows like Glee enough to make us realize that it’s time for homosexuality to be socially accepted? I wonder when the violence will stop. Hopefully, it will be before another life is lost.

In bed with the enemy pmcgeown@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Afghanistan: a harder pill to swallow than we imagined

eports surfaced recently that Hamid Karzai, president of Afghanistan, has held informal talks with members of the Taliban about possible reconciliation talks. Talks have been ongoing for two years, and are not yet at the level of formal negotiations, although Karzai made headlines last week by appointing a peace council: a group that would be charged with formal negotiations, should they happen. On the surface, entering reconciliation talks makes little sense for either side. The Taliban is, by most accounts, winning the war. Of the 2,000 NATO troops that have died in Afghanistan, more than half have been killed in the past two years. The Taliban claim control of the south and east, and are making in-roads in the north. With NATO forces back on their heels, Taliban leaders seem best served by pressing on with the fight and pushing for a greater stake in the country than what might be offered currently. Granted, formal negotiations are not underway, and even if they were, we might know nothing of what kind of stake the Taliban was

If an agreement with the Taliban is reached, and if the country once again finds itself under the heavy hand of the Taliban, more than nine years and 2,000 lives will have gone for naught.

being offered. On the surface, though, the concept is counter-intuitive to the U.S. push for democracy and a legitimate government in Afghanistan. To simply hand the Taliban a bevy of parliamentary seats is ludicrous and unlikely; but given the corruption and coercion that plagues each Afghan election, so too is letting Taliban candidates run for office. It is easy to see why either scenario is problematic to the U.S. psyche.

Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, E Aboyeji president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, Angela Gaetano vp@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Howard Leung treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, Erin Thompson secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Keriece Harris liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

When is society going to learn how to accept?

Editor-in-chief, Gina Racine editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Co-op placements, Annie Laufer, David Lehto, Eleonora Meszaros, Julia Peters Sales Assistant, vacant Systems Admin., Ben Waismark Distribution, Abdul Asmat Distribution, Ali Saeed Volunteer co-ordinator, Michael To

editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

The United States declared war in order to remove the Taliban. Yes, the broader goal was to disrupt Al Qaeda, and broader still, to eliminate terrorism altogether. But the means to that end was wresting control of the country from the Taliban, and to cede any degree of influence to them is, essentially, a tick in the loss column for the States. Granted, negotiations are supposedly predicated on concessions from the Taliban, namely: 1) commitment to the new Afghan constitution, 2) the relinquishment

of arms, and 3) renouncement of Al Qaeda. On paper, such an agreement would provide the U.S. with some measure of victory, but there are two colossal obstacles to arriving at this kind of a settlement. The first is that it represents virtual surrender for the Taliban, and for reasons stated above they are under no pressure to make sweeping concessions. Secondly, the U.S. has no way of enforcing this agreement, despite what will no doubt be a decadeslong presence in the country (to believe that the U.S. will not remain in Afghanistan, in some capacity, is naïve). If an agreement with the Taliban is reached, and if — over the course of ten or more years — the country once again finds itself under the heavy hand of the Taliban, more than nine years and more than 2,000 lives (excluding, regrettably, civilian casualties) will have gone for naught. If anybody sees fit to track its progress, Afghanistan might prove to be a harder pill to swallow than we can yet imagine. With files from Reuters.com


Opinion

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

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Nonsensical imagery aahadie@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Satisfaction of having one’s craving fulfilled through materialism

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have a hard time looking at pictures these days. Not photographs of myself or other people I know, but images in general. It’s rather odd to say the least, but I think I’ll get over it in due time. How long that may take, I have yet to discover. There’s a great deal to be said about appearances, though. I recently celebrated a birthday that forced me to go looking for a few odd-ends and other perfunctory items. Among the things I picked up were the proverbial paper plates and napkins — paper, simply because you could dispose of them easily and well, seemingly appropriate for a party. So I went ahead and bought a very pretty pair of both — so pretty, that I told my sister that even if the plates had been empty, I still would’ve enjoyed using them for their multi-coloured, rainbow-tinted balloons and luminous “Happy Birthday” emblazoned in bold colours. The question we should all be asking ourselves is why we’re so shallow — why go for the brighter colours or better packaging, when the plainer item is just as good? The answer I believe lies in taste — there’s a certain reassurance one has where better packaging or colours are concerned.

It has to do with quality and this is independent of TV ads, commercials, or other kinds of advertisement. Maybe if you lived in an igloo all your life and only ever saw snow all around you, you wouldn’t care if your napkins had confetti on them or not. But I do. Consumer culture has recognized this need; this appetite of ours for better look, better bang aims to deliver in the most ludicrous and fashionable terms. This weekend on my shopping trip, I happened to purchase Jell-o pudding. The packaging is nice, but when I came home, I realized it was a little strange to be buying pudding under a name for a completely separate and entirely different item. It’s kind of like Kleenex — you can call every other box of tissues you buy under that name, but Kleenex is still Kleenex, and still different from other kinds of tissue. Personally, the decision to obtain the plainer or prettier item should be independent of cost or value — and too often, this is usually what’s sacrificed. Often, we’re led to believe that the plates with the monogrammed flowers are better than your plain Styrofoam — but maybe

there’s a certain something you’re trying to shallowness, then, is a visual quality. communicate. Indecisiveness, perhaps. So what was it about those plates that satisLet’s consider photographs. After they in- fied me so entirely that I didn’t hanker after vented colour photos, people seemed to have putting anything on them? The sensation, the forgotten about black and white and embraced satisfaction of cravings fulfilled, appearances those newer, brighter resolution images. Now undone, and so many other things I’m too lazy there’s a trend to have a few obliquely done to tell you. An enigma, if you will. black and white shots alongside one’s colour This indicates that we can derive not simply the photographs — this indicates the recognition main pleasure for which we’re striving for when in photography, at least, of the value of the we come across something such as those coloured plainer image in favour of the more vibrant one. plates, but that there are other ways in which those Yet this trend hasn’t yet emerged in cinema things can satisfy us and make us happy. or TV — there must be a reason for it. Perhaps I would like to think that the best things in artistic value isn’t to be found where media is life are like that — somehow, they are useful not concerned. just in a single way but for a variety of modes I sometimes consider it unfortunate that we and means, and the effect that they have on us cannot see colours where sound is concerned. is both trying and fulfilling. It certainly leaves I’d like to believe that we think in colours, so it one hankering for something. seems apparent that sound should translate at the same juncture. But it doesn’t, and this is simply because it’s heard by our ears, rather than objectiResults in your first 4 weeks of boot fied by our eyes. Of all our sense, it’s our training camp or your money back! eyes that have to do Chris Walker's Fitness Women's Only Boot Camp is the only place where you join fat and leave skinny! the most work —

Modern society and modern language “Used cars“ or “previously owned transportation?” Michael Shao 2a math / computer science

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aving been born in the early ’90s, I have often heard stories of how education and society was apparently much better back in the day. I tried to see how people from different places lived their lives, and how this affected the noticeable irregularities in our current understanding of the English language. Here’s a good example: the impoverished living in our society used to be called “poor people” who lived in the “slums” or “ghettoes” of a bigger city. Now, the terminology we would use to describe the exact same people are the “economically disadvantaged” persons who occupy “substandard housing” in the “inner cities.” Was it not easier to say the first sentence than the second? How much less did it really reveal about that ‘class’ of people? Should we really think differently of them if we change the language by adding more syllables? Somehow, I think that is exactly the goal: to soften language by playing with connotation. The mentality seems to be that if we change the words, we can somehow change the connotation, and we can change the way it is interpreted. By meaninglessly adding syllables and hiding the real meaning in our words, we supposedly make the suspect phrase or intention less understandable and less meaningful than it should.

But why did we do this? Who created this trend of softening our language? I think George Carlin phrased “what happened” the best, so I’m going to quote him. “Sometime during my life, and I’m not sure exactly when, ‘toilet paper’ became ‘bathroom tissue.’ I was never informed of this — I never received an e-mail or a memo. Somehow, ‘sneakers’ became ‘running shoes.’ ‘False teeth’ became ‘dental appliances’ and ‘information’ became ‘directory assistance.’ The ‘dump’ became the ‘landfill,’ ‘car crashes’ became ‘automobile accidents.’ ‘Used cars’ became ‘previously owned transportation’ and ‘constipation’ became ‘occasional irregularity.’” Do we really sound this bizarre? Trying to rationalize this, I tried to think of where this kind of thought process would come from. Who would want to control us? The first things that came to mind were the big corporations (I noticed this when someone referred me to ‘Google’ as to how to write this article), such as the government and the mainstream media, and I figured, “Why not?” By subliminally modifying our conscious thoughts, it can change our actions and somehow affect the way in which we interpret and react to everyday events. In effect, what they do is desensitize people to the world’s problems by creating a bed of excuses and exaggerated explanations. It is exactly this euphemistic language that has seeped its way into our everyday lives so much that we no

longer resist its detrimental integration into our language. This habit of hiding behind our words never existed a century ago; it has been directly from the development in previous generations to our generation that has brought our understanding of English to the way it is now. The modern media has been especially involved in forming our worldrenowned language. It has gotten to the point that Webster’s Dictionary has added the famous Homer Simpson phrase “D’oh” to its dictionary reference. I am absolutely sure that by some point, our slang acronyms for “laughing outwardly in a loud fashion” and “what the hey” will become so accepted that the Encyclopaedia Britannica will mark it as a historic point for the “modernization” of the English language. I believe that the shift has been getting worse, especially when I was told that I speak “Canadian” and that “American” was considered a separate language in some form. Have we really changed so much that North America has our own accepted system of the modified English language? Despite our slang and our tendency to shorten already short phrases, does it really differ all that much from the English of the rest of the world? My advice is to reason these kinds of words and phrases out, especially when others try to make us think a certain way. But hey, what do I know? I figure that someday I will understand this whole concept of soft language before I grow old and die— or should I use the terms “aging” and “pass away” instead?

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8

Opinion

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Community Editorials

Tax-free savings account

The advantage of investing

David Wang 2a math / acturial science

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or those of you thinking about starting an investing career, your timing couldn’t be better. Besides the valuable experience you will earn over the ensuing years, the Canadian government introduced the Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA) in 2009, with the goal of encouraging savings and investments. All students, especially those on co-op, can make great use of this new government incentive to save and invest. The TFSA is a flexible program that allows Canadian residents 18 years or older to save

up to $5,000 a year starting in 2009, without paying any taxes on future invested income. Any previous years’ unused portions will be rolled over, increasing the contribution limit for the following year. This means that if you had set up a TFSA in 2009 and put $5,000 in it, you may add up to $5,000 to your TFSA in 2010. If you did not set up a TFSA in 2009, you may add up to $10,000 in 2010. Finally, if you wait until 2011 to set up your TFSA, you may add up to $15,000. This ensures that you are not penalized for not hearing about it early or not contributing the entire sum in a given year. Be careful not to exceed the contribution limit, however, as it will be

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marginal tax rate. This TFSA “advantage” of $20 might seem small, but it is equivalent to putting your $5,000 in a savings account paying 2.5 per cent outside of a TFSA, since the $125 interest you earn will shrink to $100 after your 20 per cent marginal income tax. In addition, the more time you allow the money to grow, the harder the advantage works for you through the powers of compound interest. The TFSA advantage makes it a great program to encourage and complement a good savings habit, and I hope that you will take full advantage of this on your long financial road ahead.

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Once you have added money into your TFSA, you may make withdrawals any time, and the amount withdrawn will be added to the contribution limit next year.

funds, and more, so you may use your TFSA for a variety of banking and investment needs. TFSAs are especially tax efficient when used as an investment account, as the taxes on investments can be quite heavy. Stocks are faced with capital gains taxes if they are sold at higher values than when they were bought, and if you received dividends, you will need to pay dividend taxes. Similarly, bonds are faced with interest taxes whenever interest is paid. The specific rates of taxation will vary case by case. Generally they will range from five per cent to 40 per cent, but all of these taxes will be waived when you have your investments inside a TFSA.

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To put this into perspective, suppose you don’t have a TFSA but decide to open one in 2011 and contribute $5,000. Being a conservative individual, you put all of it inside a high interest savings account earning two per cent annually. At the end of 2011 you will have accumulated $100 of interest. Between your scholarship, co-op job, and part time job during school, you earned $15,000 in 2011, and this put you in approximately the 20 per cent marginal income tax bracket. Your TFSA “advantage” that year would be $20, since interest income is taxable at your

taxed. Once you have added money into your TFSA, you may make withdrawals any time, and the amount withdrawn will be added to the contribution limit next year. This means that if you added $5,000 to your TFSA in January 2009, and withdrew $3,000 in October 2009, your 2010 contribution limit will be $8,000. The withdrawal will not add to your limit in the same year, so avoid transferring money between different TFSAs midyear, as this will easily put you over the contribution limit. You can set up a TFSA at most banks and brokerages. Eligible investments include savings accounts, GICs, stocks, bonds, mutual

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Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010 arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Guerilla Bombing Keeping warm through the winter

Marta Borowska asst. arts and entertainment editor

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orilla’s making bombs? No, no, no. Guerrilla bombing, also known as yarn bombing, is the new graffiti art that is weaving its way into the heart of the tri-cities. This new movement has been spreading since 2005 all the way from Texas by a group called Knitta and is defined as knitting various patterns onto anything in sight to send a message or to simply create beautiful art. When you gaze into the metropolis of bigger areas, you will find this kind of graffiti on virtually everything: statues, fences, and cars have all been marked. The limitations in our habitual proximity are narrowed down to trees, garbage cans, and lamp posts, and shows that it is just the beginning of an emerging era of creative and colourful bombings in KW. Mandy Moore and Leanne Prain, authors of the book Yarn Bombing: The Art of Crochet and Knit Graffiti, point to the purpose of the cunning artwork. “Some artists do it to make a coherent statement about consumerism, mass

production, and waste... I think most artists that do this, just like the absurdity of knitted public art. They like the whimsical nature of it and the juxtaposition of street art and yarn craft,” says Moore. The two say that yarn bombing is for anybody: students can do it, kids can do it, even the elderly can contribute their knitting talents to this wonderfully developing graffiti. Once you learn the basics of knitting, the rest is up to you. “We always get asked, ‘what are the rules?’ It’s graffiti; there are no rules,” says Prain. Though portrayed as somewhat more acceptable than spray painting, yarn bombing still gets destroyed. Thankfully, not every bombing is retracted from our streets, leaving people to wonder about the unconventional creative art forms of knitting. One of the more innovative yarn bombings in the KW area has consisted of knitted moustaches that are present on various poles located in the back alleys of Uptown Waterloo. Kate Geo, owner of Mom’s Tattoo Shop in Uptown Waterloo, explains why some people

partake in yarn bombing. “Satisfaction,” she says. “Satisfaction of seeing how long it can stay there. I think the first time we saw it, I wondered how long it was going to take to tear it down.” For aspiring knitters in the KW area, there are many opportunities to learn how to create your own crafts. A Facebook group called Knitjutsu deals with organizing yarn bombings and also holds knitting sessions during which you can develop the skills needed for guerrilla bombing. Typical knitting is seen as a thing of the past, but it is becoming a thing of the future, too. The patterns you can create are unlimited and unique to your own style, aspiring yarn bombers to continue making these warm street city covers. KW’s yarn bombing has sparked just in time to keep things warm for the winter season. Hopefully it will permanently weave itself into the regularities of our artistic society and become more than just a tea cosy. mborowska@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

PHOTOS BY MARTA BOROWSKA

INSIDE THIS SECTION: Movie Review: The Social Network P10 Music Review on Michael Buble’s new album P11 - RPG for the RPG P12


10

Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Movie Review The Social Network David Fincher Columbia Pictures

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rofile, Status Update, Poke, Comment, Like, Add as a Friend. To some, a foreign language. To us, it’s just Facebook. The social site that now runs the lives of 500 million people started with a guy whose friend list would have probably totalled. The Social Network tells the story of Mark Zuckerberg, a Harvard student who came up with the most popular website in history. What we might not know is what started this, who helped him develop this idea and how on Earth a couple nights in a dorm room resulted in Facebook. The movie is based on Ben Mezrich’s book Accidental Billionaires. We see Mark Zuckerberg (the world’s youngest billionaire at age 23) as just another Harvard kid coding around on his laptop. His desire to catch attention from Harvard’s exclusive clubs gives Zuckerberg more rage, passion and creativity than ever. He creates a website called Facemash, coded in less than six hours. It lasted only one night, but that onenight “little site” got 22,000 hits and definitely fulfilled its purpose. The Saugatuck Rowing Club offered give Zuckerberg the chance to develop a social website for them called Harvard Connection. We see how Mark took the idea and gave it his own flavour, adding and editing features until he finally started coding The Facebook. The process is narrated as part of a lawsuit imposed by the Winklevoss twins (original providers of the idea for Harvard Connection). They claimed Zuckerberg built their site and took credit for it. Zuckerberg, conversely, thought that “If you guys were the inventors

COURTESY OF IMDB

Mark Zuckerberg, played by Jesse Eisenberg, and his roommates, observing the results of the program Facemash that Zuckerberg created. of Facebook… you’d have invented Facebook.” Zuckerberg is presented as a bossy, sarcastic and downright obnoxious geek. In the literal message of the film, we could conclude he was too ambitious to share his success with his best friend, too arrogant to date his girlfriend and a complete back-stabber for stealing the Winklevoss twins’ idea. But before you feel like running home and deleting your Facebook account, you might want to know the other side of the story. The movie is biased on Eduardo Saverin’s point of view. Saverin was the only consultant to Mezrich’s book, which explains why he is

University of Ottawa

portrayed as hero and victim throughout the story. He was not only the plaintiff in one lawsuit, but also a key witness in the other, and from his view, Zuckerberg and the devil weren’t too far apart. What then do the creators of Facebook think about this? How much of the film is true and how much of it is just Hollywood? Zuckerberg himself commented to Oprah Winfrey that the drama and partying of the film is mostly fiction, and that he spent most of the past six years focusing, working hard, and coding Facebook. Co-founder Dustin Moskovitz called the film a dramatization of history. “A lot of exciting

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things happened in 2004, but mostly we just worked a lot and stressed out about things; the version in the trailer seems a lot more exciting.” The Social Network is a hit all around the world.With a budget of $50 million, it got back nearly half of it in its first weekend in the U.S. alone. So, bottom line, whether we like him or not, Mark Zuckerberg is a total genius, and we all love him for it. It’s like he said, “We don’t know what the Facebook is yet, we don’t know what it means, we don’t know how big it could get, we don’t know what it could be We just know it’s cool.” -Carla Valerio


11

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

143 Records

W

ith three previous records to his credit, Michael Bublé is no stranger on the music scene. However, until his most recent album, Crazy Love, came out, Bublé was probably known more for a failed relationship with Emily Blunt than for his voice. His relationship troubles, however, have forced him to grow up, and the result is a record that’s not just for your grandma anymore.

Trap Tiger Twisted Shapes K Records

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ocal band Trap Tiger’s first full-length album is called Twisted Shapes. The name is good way to sum up the album considering how many different sounds can be found within its 10 tracks. A follow-up to last year’s Lush Jungles EP, Twisted Shapes takes on new territory in expanding upon the melodic guitar pop put forth in their previous release, adding more subtle drum fills, rhythm and leading guitar tuning in and out of each other, and a hand clap or two.

The Breaking Lakes Sleeping Giants Unsigned

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he Breaking Lakes are a high energy indie band hailing from Orangeville, Ontario. With their recent release of Sleeping Giants as their first major album, it becomes apparent that they have much to look forward to in their blossoming career. Although they currently remain unsigned, it really is just a matter of time until we’ll see these guys attached to an appropriate label.

- Ron Kielstra Many of the tracks start off small and simply evolve as each layer of sound is added. “Passengers,” for example, begins with only a guitar riff, a stark piano, and drumbeat, and ends with full vocals and a soft bass line added, mix like an awesome jam session. The album does have a jamming sort of feel to it. It’s not that it sounds unprofessional (actually, the sound is tight without filler, but not slickly overproduced). Rather, it sounds as if one guy came up with a melody, played it for his friends, and they all chimed in wherever they thought it would sound good. That’s what I love about this album, and isn’t that what music should sound like? Furthermore, the drumming is unbelievable: at points throughout the album it is as if the drum and guitar have a little witty repartée between them, one shattering in all its cymbal glory and the other finger picking its way around the mess. “Evil Queen” is a standout track as its opening bass line entices you into the repeated lyric “Breathe so slowly,” moving through a guitar section and then into a disco bass with matching ‘70s Hammondesque sounds. The thing about this album is that yes, it’s guitar pop, but it’s really difficult to pinpoint one specific musical style. There’s disco, pop, rock, soul, and a hefty dose of singalong. Twisted Shapes is a fantastic debut and though Trap Tiger has nowhere to go but up in the future, right now all I can say is hot damn is this album ever catchy.

- Ashley Dean

A track to keep your eyes open for in Sleeping Giants is “Falling Apart”. The track immediately grabs your attention with a catchy introduction to the track and sets a very consistent upbeat vibe. The song lyrics speak of the walls that people put up in relationships, and struggling with breaking those walls down. The relatable lyrics are backed up by a rock ‘n’ roll-oriented theme in the instrumentals. Although you wouldn’t expect the lyrics and instrumentals to mesh well together, they enforce an emotion of frustration suitable for the topic. In contrast, “Plant a Seed” is a very mellow acoustic track that has harmonies with a female vocalist alongside the lead vocalist. Beginning the song with the lyrics, “I never knew what living was until I found you...,” it is already an exact opposite from “Falling Apart” two tracks earlier. “Plant A Seed” is essentially a love confession between two people. Although love seems to be a reoccuring topic The Breaking Lakes like to write songs about, it is definitely not the only thing they have to offer. They talk about love, individuality, life and the album as a whole is written in a way that becomes entirely relatable. Something else that is really great about the album Sleeping Giants is that The Breaking Lakes maintain a sound that is strongly recognizable but still manages to be so versatile. The Breaking Lakes are definitely a band to keep your eye out for.

- Julia Peters

Music Reviews

Michael Bublé Crazy Love

My introduction to Bublé came during a drive back to Waterloo while I was on co-op a few months ago, when I heard the first single, “Haven’t Met You Yet.” The catchy piano melody reminded me of Sara Bareilles and the jazz rhythm gave me a sudden urge to tap my feet, but it was Bublé’s vocals that really caught my attention, as he switched seamlessly between an optimistic, poppy chorus and an almost mournful acknowledgement of his past failings. Bublé recorded Crazy Love with a live band, and the result is an album that seems to crackle with the energy of a live show and made me wish I knew how to swing dance. The music spans an impressive range, combining a classic jazz feel on songs like “Cry Me A River,” a bluesy cover of The Eagles’ “Heartache Tonight,” and the title track, Van Morrison’s R&B ballad “Crazy Love,” without feeling disjointed. And the saucy duet between Bublé and Sharon Jones on “Baby (You’ve Got What It Takes)” makes the album worth a listen all on its own. Admittedly, I wasn’t a jazz fan before I listened to this album and I’m still not making any plans to travel to Montreal for the International Jazz Festival, but having listened to Crazy Love a fair number of times now, I’m glad I gave it a chance. Who knows, it might even be enough to convince this white boy to look into dance lessons.

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Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Rocket propelled grenade for the Role-playing game arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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f I said the words, Final Fantasy, you would probably have some idea of what I’m talking about. In case you don’t, the Final Fantasy series are nothing but role-playing games where a protagonist goes through a series of adventures in order to save their world or something along those lines. What defines a role-playing video game then? This genre of game allows the player to create a character: a warrior, a mage, or whatever the game offers you (keep this in mind). As you play the character you chose, their attributes grow, they gain stronger weapons, and they learn new magic spells, which will just make the game too easy. Of course, along the way the character finds love, makes it, and probably saves the world at some point. Most, if not all, RPGs offer a wide and expansive world where the player can freely explore the environment while interacting with a throng of important and unimportant characters. Role-playing games have expanded since the Final Fantasy days; they have gone from just plain old three characters standing on one side waiting to bash a monster, to a live action style game where the characters actually run around a portion of a map while in battle. All this must sound somewhat interesting to the average person. Living a huge fantasy where you can wield a sword larger than you is something we’d love to live to do while getting the prettiest girl in the group. Adding to that, you don’t fight 50-foot monsters

COURTESY OF illclairvoyant.wordpress.com

A screenshot of the gameplay in Final Fantasy XIII. Final Fantasy is one of the staple game series in the genre of role-playing games. all the time, not all of us anyways. The problem at heart though is that RPGs don’t really exist. See, role-playing games are actually nothing more than adventure games in veil. Before you curse my name in your language, hear me out. The problem starts with character creation. As I mentioned above, games that claim to be role-playing only offers you whatever the game creators deemed fitting for the “fantasy.” What this usually entails are classic

characters like knights, mages, amazons, or thieves. There are of course reasons why these castes are chosen; they’ve stood the test of time and are still in literature. Where do fantasies come from? Literature? Yes, English students, feel proud, you’re making a terrible genre of game exist. Back to the fantasy. The main problem with using the words “role-playing” is that, everyone has a different idea of roleplaying in a game. Let me give you an example. I played the immensely

popular, yet in my opinion disastrous, Dragon Age: Origins. It had the cliché role of characters: warriors, mage, etc. I don’t need to go through this. The game boasts proudly that it will let you take routes that will eventually have consequences. Translation? You have choices in what you can do that might have an effect later on, but this isn’t enough of an element for a true “role-playing” game, though. These choices, however, are usually not very different. Let me show you.

A neutral choice usually means you do a favour and collect some money. A good choice means you do a favour and earn some good karma. A bad choice usually means you kill the character and collect anything they owned. Now you might say those are pretty diverse and good choices. However, taking a closer took, it’s not diverse at all. What if I wanted to do the favour, take the reward, then kill the character anyways for kicks? See, that’s a path not given. Some games like Fallout 3 do allow for this path, but then again, the Fallout series has been so unique with its open world style of game-play, that hardly any games follow its path. What about doing half the favour, then going back and only wanting half the reward cause I got lazy? Again, I can’t do that. The limitation of choices in RPGs are the true crutches and the reason why “role-playing” games don’t exist. With the recent installment of Final Fantasy XIII (13), I feel that the RPG series have finally shown its true colour. Of course, there are other games like Golden Sun and Pokemon that could stand up to prop the RPG genre on a pair of fake legs, but nothing will jump onto the genre’s pedestal and display itself as a true RPG game. The day a game comes out that allows me to pick an apple on a tree for a person, then eat the person before building a house, will be the day a true RPG exists. I don’t want to swing a sword around, I don’t want to get the girl, and most of all I don’t want to fight monsters. I just want to eat my humans and be happy.

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Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010 sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Ice hockey season underway Friday

Waterloo 5 Lakehead 4

Saturday

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Lakehead 7 Waterloo 3

Namish Modi asst. sports & living editor

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he ice has been flooded, skates sharpened, and the sticks are all taped up. Warrior’s hockey is back. Waterloo opened up their regular season schedule with a win and a loss in Thunder Bay against Lakehead over the weekend. “It was a great feeling to get rolling again,” said Warrior forward Jarrett Schnurr. Friday night was a nail-biter, but the Warriors prevailed by a score of 5-4 in overtime. Defenseman Kyle Sonnenburg scored the winner. The Thunderwolves opened up the scoring in the first period with a goal by Mike Quesnele. Lakehead increased their lead to 2-0 early in the second period courtesy of Kris Hogg. Warrior defenseman Steve Whitely cut the score to 2-1 with a hard point shot at 6:38 of the second period, but Wolves’ Andy Zulniak restored the two goal lead at 9:35 of the second. Waterloo stormed back with the next three goals. Kyle Schwende scored at 11:33 of the second. Two minutes later, Kurt Thorner scored on the power play to tie the game at three, and early in the third period, Kirt Hill scored the go ahead goal. Zulniak notched his second of the game to tie up the score at 4:27 of the third. The Warriors came out firing in overtime and outshot Lake head 9-0. Sonnenburg’s overtime winner came on the power play at 4:49 of the extra frame. Lakehead’s was the perpetrator as he got called for slashing, roughing and a 10 minute misconduct at 2:07. “It is a great to begin the season with a win, our division is very close and I am sure every point will impact standings at the end of the year,” said coach Brian Bourque.

rocky choi

Jarrett Schnurr (#14), pictured from a game last season, had two goals and three assists over the weekend.

“We finished all of our hits, we communicated well, and we worked extremely hard.” Warriors’ goaltender Keaton Hartigan made 28 saves for the victory, while Wolves’ goaltender Alex Dupuis took the loss but made 36 saves. Forward Chris Ray added two assists for the Warriors, while Schnurr had a great game with three assists. “We played really well systematically. We made simply low risk plays that contributed to our success,” said Schnurr. Tyler Moir also notched two helpers. The game was a feisty one as Waterloo raked up 14 penalty minutes, while Lakehead spent 26 minutes in the sin bin. The announced crowd at the game at Fort William Garden inThunder Bay was 2,573.

“The two thousand plus fans in Lakehead helps create a great atmosphere that everyone enjoys playing in front of,” said Schnurr. Friday’s victory for Waterloo was the 100th in the young career of coach Bourque. Lakehead came out for revenge on Saturday night, and they got it in a big way. The Thunderwolves dominated the Warriors and won the game by a score of 7-3. Schnurr opened the scoring for the Warriors early in the first at 4:15. Lakehead responded with a goal by Andrew Wilkins at 6:53. Quesnele, Hogg, and Ryan Mcdonald scored the next three goals for the Wolves to make it a 4-1 lead. Schnurr notched his second of the game on the power play in the second period. Quesnele, Aaron Arron Alphonso and Brock Mchpherson added tallies in the third

period for Lakehead, while forward Chris Ray of the Warriors scored in the dying seconds of the game. “Our team defense was not as good, mainly our forwards did not do as good a job getting back and helping out in the defensive zone,” Bourque said. Hartigan took the loss while making 25 saves while Kyle Moir got was awarded with the victory for Lakehead, making 22 saves. Waterloo opens their home schedule this Friday at Columbia Ice Field at 7:30 p.m. They will host the Guelph Gryphons. Saturday features a primetime matchup between the Warriors and Laurier Golden Hawks. Coach Bourque said the lineup for the weekend will be based on practice performance during the week. sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Games of the week: the best games in town Friday, October 15 Men’s hockey vs Guelph at 7:30 p.m. at CIF

Sunday, October 17 Women’s hockey vs York at 2:00 p.m. at CIF

Saturday, October 16

Men’s soccer vs Guelph at 3:15 p.m. at CIF

Women’s hockey vs Toronto at 2:00 p.m. at CIF

Women’s soccer vs Guelph at 1:00 p.m. at CIF

Men’s hockey vs Laurier at 7:30 p.m. at CIF Women’s rugby vs Brock at 1:00 p.m. at CIF

here’s something especially admirable when a star athlete spends years toiling on a bad team, going about his job without complaint and incident. It’s one of the last known symbols of true loyalty in sports, a sign that the player takes the team concept to be more important than his legacy. Often, the star athlete will spend all or close to all of his formidable years (his “prime”, so to speak) floundering in losing, a diamond stuck in a rather large chunk of rough. But while this is often depressing to see, nothing is more encouraging than when late in the athlete’s career, he’s traded or signs with a new team, a contender, and finally wins the championship that, in all reality, he has truly earned. It happened with Ray Bourque, defensemen for the Boston Bruins. For years, Bourque skated on horrible Bruins’ teams, until finally late in his career he was traded to the Colorado Avalanche and won a Stanley Cup. It’s like when an amazing girl spends all of her high school years with some jerk, but dumps him in time to go to prom with her nice best friend whose been waiting for years. You admire how long she waited to see if her first boyfriend would change, but you feel good for her finally getting what she deserves. And this is what has finally happened to Roy Halladay. Halladay spent years putting up ridiculous stats for a Blue Jays team that, frankly, was never going to go anywhere. The Jays often had less than half the payroll of the Yankees and Red Sox, without a brilliant farm system like the Rays, and the Doc was treated to playoffs-less year, after playoffs-less year. Somehow, in his time with the Jays (with lackluster run support and the disadvantage of pitching in the terrifying AL East), Halladay was able to go to six all-star games, and win one Cy Young award, when he went 22-7 with a 3.25 ERA and a ridiculous 266 innings pitched. Watching Halladay on the mound was something like seeing an efficient machine running right. His timing was quick, precise; there was rarely a wasted movement. He rarely showed emotion, happiness or sadness, simply going about his job like he was getting paid millions to do it (which, coincidentally, he was). With Halladay, you were guaranteed a quick finish to the game and a couple strikeouts that made the crowd ooh and aah. He was the model athlete, the type of star that you would purposely work your schedule around to see. Baseball can be brutally boring sometimes, but when Sportsnet came on and you saw Halladay pitching, you made time. Finally, Halladay was given his chance to shine this year with the Phillies. I wrote, when the trade happened, that it finally gave us Blue Jays fans something to cheer for in October, and it has. Halladay tore up the NL, posting a 21-10 line with a sparkling 2.44 ERA. He teamed up with Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels to rally the Phillies into first place and the playoffs. But he wasn’t done there. Halladay, after 12 seasons as a professional baseball pitcher, finally got his chance to play in a playoff game. Halladay threw a no-hitter, the second in baseball’s playoff history, allowing just one walk. He was so dominant that by the sixth inning it actually seemed inevitable—the Cincinnati Reds were simply not getting a hit off him. So, while Halladay may not be stuck down here in Toronto for us to watch, we can always turn on the television and follow him down in Philadelphia where he is making history. Halladay certainly is one of the best athletes I’ve ever seen and I really do hope the Phillies win the championship. If anyone deserves it, it’s Roy Halladay. jtoporowski@imprint.uwaterloo.ca


14

Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Warriors’ season ends in London

Halladay throws a gem

Namish Modi asst. sports & living editor

W

aterloo’s baseball season is over. The Western Mustangs ended the Warrior’s season on Friday night at Labatt Park in London. Western defeated Waterloo 4-2 in an exciting game. Waterloo came out firing in the first inning with two runs. Craig Van Ooeteghem, Chris Ryan, Mike Glinka, and OUA all star Thomas Biskup each got hits in the first inning. The Warriors didn’t score after that. Western added runs in the first, third and fifth innnings and another in the eighth. Warriors starter Anthony Douris lasted four, and a third inning allowing two earned runs, a walk and five hiæts. Adam Lentz and Michael Gatchene pitched in relief. Mustangs starter Andrew Bergman got the win going seven strong innings allowing two runs, two walks and seven hits. Paul Lwtwynec saved the game for the Mustangs going two innings in relief.

The Brock Badgers had the odds stacked against them, but it didn’t matter. Brock defeated Western in the OUA championship on Saturday by a score of 5-1. Badgers starting pitcher threw seven strong innings allowing one earned run, two walks and six hits. Western’s Adam Paish threw four and two-thirds innings allowing three earned runs, one walk and six hits. Justin Parro had an RBI, while Shaun Valeriote pitched in two RBI’s for the Badgers. The other two runs were courtesy of poor fielding by the Mustangs. Andrew Thompson had a big game for Western going 3-4. Brock won their first OUA title since 2004. They will now head to the 2010 Canadian Interuniversity Baseball Association National Championship. The tournament will be held in Windsor, Ontario from Oct. 22-24. sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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I

f you’re not a baseball fan, then likely you can’t appreciate the artistry that is pitching. You might casually glance at the box scores or sit through the highlights and enjoy a long homerun. That’s absolutely acceptable, but you can’t truly grasp how amazing of a performance Roy Halladay gave in game one of the division series. That may have been as close to a perfect game as has ever been pitched in the history of Major League Baseball. Not perfect in the usual sense, where no base runners are allowed; he’s done that already. Perfect meaning every pitch was on target, correctly called (give Carlos Ruiz a lot of credit for that), sharp break, late life and efficient. Soak this stat in: Halladay threw a first pitch strike to 25 of 28 batters. Those are video game numbers. That should not even be possible. Throwing 25 of 28 first pitch strikes may sound impressive on it’s own (it is), but the fact that he gave up no hits and still threw that many first pitch strikes is unbelievable. That means he wasn’t throwing a get-me-over fastball down the middle to get ahead, he was making quality pitches. Even late in the game when Cincinnatti knew he was going to get ahead they still were not able to square up a ball. The fact that it was Halladay’s first post-season start will no doubt garner some chatter about how he’s a “big game” pitcher or how “clutch” he is. He is a big game pitcher; he’s also a small game pitcher and a medium game pitcher. He’s good. That’s what happens when you’re good; you win. He threw a no-hitter because he methodically prepares and trains in-

jsmith@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

sanely hard. Not to mention he has an absolutely filthy arsenal of pitches. When he came over to the Phillies he added a split-fingered changeup which he has since mastered. Two no-hitters in one season and a trip to the National League Championship Series; pretty sure he made the right choice to waive that no-trade clause... First Down... When did the New York Jets become the only team in the NFL worth watching? Through week five they’ve played twice on Sunday night and once on Monday. Nothing against the Jets but that seems a little excessive. The NFL usually does a good job of spreading it’s prime time appearances around but it’s not off to a good start in 2010... It may only be the division series but the San Francisco Giants and the Atlanta Braves put on one heck of a show in their first round playoff meeting. Tim Lincecum was dominant, Matt Cain was above average, Buster Posey was as advertised and Derek Lowe had us having flashbacks to the 2004 ALCS... If somebody was ever in need of a hug, it’s Brooks Conrad. Thrown into a position he clearly can’t play because of injuries and ends up costing his team at least a chance to win the series. He also cost Eric Hinske a chance to never have to buy a beer in Atlanta again... Speaking of Eric Hinske, why is there not more demand for this guy? He has been to the last three world series with three different teams (two rings) and made the playoffs this year with the Braves. Rookie of the year in 2003, he is basically a utility version of Derek Jeter; surrounded with an

impenetrable winning aura that wills his team to championships... Seventh Inning Stretch... The fact that the New York Yankees demolished the Minnesota Twins does not change the fact that they are huge underdogs in their next series. The Twins have an historic playoff losing streak going and have not beat the Yankees once in their last three playoff series. The Yankees pitching staff will not be able to survive a best of seven series... Overtime... A sarcastic hat tip goes out to those people out there who penciled in the San Francisco 49ers as their NFC West champions. Mike Singletary looks to be on his way out as the 49ers just look lost on both sides of the football. In a division where a .500 record could win it outright San Francisco is playing unimaginably poorly considering it’s competition. The best part is they still can’t be discounted from at least contending for the division... While we’re talking about teams that are going nowhere; how about those Carolina Panthers and St. Louis Rams? The Panthers are dismal with Jimmy Clausen not able to do anything to improve the state of the franchise for the time being. And the Rams are coming off a 44-6 drubbing at the hands of the Detroit Lions... Shout out of the Week: A shout out to people out there who are attempting to make cross country running a Winter Olympic event. Clearly a ploy by Kenya to become relevant at the winter games. Not the worst idea I’ve ever heard.


Majuratan Sadagopan


16

Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

2010 – 2011 men’s basketball team

Position: Guard

Position: Guard

Major: Biomedical Science Elig. Year: Five

3

Luke Kieswetter

Major: Arts & Buisness Elig. Year: Two

Height: 6’0”

Hometown: Waterloo High School: Kitchener C.I.

4

Wayne Bridge

High School: Mother Teresa

Elig. Year: One

7

Troy Stevenson

Cam McIntyre

High School: Kitchener C.I.

10

Jordan Hannah

Hometown: Waterloo High School: St. John A. McDonald

Jake Robinet

Year: Five

Height: 6’2”

High School: St. Marys

12 Mark Peterson

Elig. Year: Five

14

Position: Forward

Major: Arts

15 Joseph Ojelade

Elig. Year: One

Hometown: Burlington High School: Assumption

24 Zach Angelinni

Height: 6’5”

Hometown: Brampton High School: Central Peel

Position: Forward

Major: Geog. and Environment Height: 5’11”

High School: Forest Heights C.I.

Elig. Year: One

Height: 6’5”

High School: Silver Heights

Tim Rossy

Hometown: Kitchener

Major: Environmental Planning

Hometown: Winnipeg

High School: Kings Christian

Height: 6’4”

Position: Forward

Major: Economics

Height: 6’5”

Position: Guard

20 Mike Wright

8

Height: 6’6”

Major: Rec and Business

Position: Forward

Hometown: Oakville

Elig. Year: One

Elig. Year: One

Position: Forward

Hometown: Kitchener

Major: Civil Engineering

13 Alan Goodhoofd

High School: St. Ignatius of Loyola

Elig. Year: Five

Position: Forward

Elig. Year: Five

Major: Kinesiology

Major: Kinesiology

Height: 6’4”

Hometown: Kitchener

High School: Vancouver College

Harrison Mair

Height: 6’2”

Position: Guard

Major: Rec and Leisure

9

5

Position: Forward

Hometown: Oakville

Position: Guard

Elig. Year: Four

High School: Eastern Commerce

Height: 5’10”

Hometown: Vancouver

Major: Chemical Engineering

Height: 6’2”

Hometown Scarborough

Mark Peterson

Elig.Year: Two

Position: Guard

Major: Independant Studies

6

Major: Legal Studies

Height: 6’ 2”

Hometown: North York

Position: Forward

Elig. Year: One

Position: Guard

Major: Nanotechnology Elig. Year: Three

Height: 6’2”

Hometown: Hamilton High School: St. Thomas Moore

25 Brendan Smith

Height: 6’7”

Hometown: Kamloops High School: Sa-Hali S.S.


Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Men have their sights on a 3-peat to start season strong Brent Golem asst editor-in-chief

O

nly twice before have the Warriors repeated as champions of Naismith in its 42-year history. Both times those teams went on to win a third straight Naismith. The pressure will be on to defend their home court and earn a third 3-peat. However, they won’t be the favourites to win. An extremely strong Laval squad is coming into the tournament after a great season last year and a tough 6’8” post man. The Warriors feel they are more athletic than years passed and will use that to their advantage as they run their motion offense. With strong defenders in point guard Luke Kieswetter and centre Brendan Smith, they will be looking to create some turnovers and use a quick transition game to score some easy baskets and build their leads. The team lost some key components in their starting five, but return their best player Cam McIntyre, who will shift to the small forward position and put pure scorer Jordan Hannah

Team Summary

Sports & Living

17

09–10 Leaders

Conference

9–13

Scoring

Home

7–3

Rebounding

Cam McIntyre

15.2

Ben Frisby

6.5

Away

2–10

Assists

David Burnett

4.6

Points/game

69.9

Free throw %

Ben Frisby

.833

Rebounds/game

37.0

Field goal %

Matt Hayes

.483

into the mix to boost the offense left behind by point guard David Burnett and centre Matt Hayes. Brendan Smith will see an increase in minutes, and definitely a boost in production, but he isn’t built like Hayes was and won’t be able to easily dominate in the paint. That’s why this year they will be offensively sharing the ball more and looking for quick jumpers on open looks. The returning veterans can aptly fill the shoes of those who left, but where the Warriors will feel the loses most will be through depth on the bench. The Warriors will be logging longer minutes and will need some luck in staying healthy if they are to get

a whiff of home court advantage in the post-season. On defense, Waterloo will be hard on the ball, putting a lot pressure on the opposition to force turnovers or missed shots. If they can make this all happen then the Warriors will have a good chance of winning Naismith and keeping that winning attitude through the season. Cam McIntyre and Luke Kieswetter are co-captains this year, and have been in this position together before. They were co-captains at KCI when they lead the team to a regional championship. Hopefully they can bring that success to the team this year. Courtesy UW Athletics

sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

STARTING

Cam McIntyre (#34) will be looking to lead the Warriors in more ways than just being their leading scorer. This point guard will also act as co-captain for the upcoming season.

5

SG Jordan Hannah (6’2)

Hannah hasn’t seen a lot of minutes in the past behind a solid perimeter team in McIntyre and Burnett. He’s touted as a pure scorer, although he struggled to find the basket when was on the court last season. This year he will have the opportunity to prove his worth.

PG Luke Kieswetter (6’0)

Kieswetter is a tenacious defender who can create huge defensive stops for his team. He’s a great two-way player who knows how to lead the offense down the court.

C Brendan Smith (6’7)

PF Alan Goodhoofd (6’5)

Goodhoofd is an exciting power player. He is a dynamic scorer and is willing to get dirty in the paint to grab rebounds.

Smith is an incredibly athletic and left-handed shooter with great paint presence. The departure of Hayes will see a dramatic increase in minutes, along with his point production and rebounding.

SF Cam McIntyre (6’3)

Averaging over 15 ppg, he was team MVP last year. He’s a lethal threat from beyond the arc. If teams leave him with an open shot, they can be guaranteed possession below the baseline.

Graphic Xiaobo Liu

Brent golem

Cam McIntyre (#34) will be looking to lead the Warriors in more ways than just being their leading scorer. This point guard will also act as co-captain for the upcoming season.

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Sports & Living

18

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Laval

Memorial

Seahawks F G C G SF G SF G SF SF C C F G

3 10 11 12 14 22 24 31 33 40 44 53 54 RS

Rams

Rouge-et-Or

Michael Quigley Manny Wilby Steven Earles Matthew Cleary Robbie Habib Mark Woodland Justin Grainger James Saxby Mike Helsby Jason Sheperd Ante Samodol Alex Harding Jordan Constantine Sean Murphy

6’3 5’10 6’6 6’0 6’4 6’0 6’5 6’3 6’4 6’4 6’7 6’6 6’5 5’9

Head Coach: Peter Benoite (2nd season) Team Summary

Ryerson

6 5 8 13 15 24 14 9 22

G Richard Kwaku Addaï G Xavier Baribeau F Jean-François Beaulieu Maheux F Kevin Crevant G Christian Deslauriers Trottier F Étienne Labrecque G Olivier Lefebvre F Simon Mercier G Alexandre Prophète G Jean-Philippe Renaud F Hugues Ryan G Jérôme Turcotte-Routhier F Marvin Vebobe

5’11 5’9 6’3 6’8 6’2 6’5 5’10 6’6 6’5 5’10 6’4 6’4 6’4

Head Coach: Jacques Paiement Jr (3rd season)

09–10 Leaders

Team Summary

4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 21 22 23

G Jordan Gauthier G Jamel Babineau F Matthew Lapointe PG Jahmal Jones F Steve Williams G Ola Adegbowuwa PF Bjorn Michaelsen PF Eric Hobson G Afeworki Gebrekerestos G Dylan Churchill G Ryan McNeilly F Khris Montague SF Jelane Pryce G/F Luke Staniscia PF Dino Cajic

6’3 6’2 6’8 6’0 6’3 6’2 6’7 6’8 6’2 6’2 6’2 6’6 6’7 6’5 6’7

Head Coach: Roy Rana (2nd season)

09–10 Leaders

Team Summary

09–10 Leaders

Conference

2–18

Scoring

Jason Shepherd

15.0

Conference

10–6

Scoring

Etienne Labrecque

14.7

Conference

10–12 Scoring

Boris Bakovic

26.2

Home

2–8

Rebounding

Ante Samodol

5.5

Home

6–2

Rebounding

Jerome T-Routhier

7.7

Home

6–5

Rebounding

Boris Bakovic

9.6

Away

0–10

Assists

Jason Shepherd

4.0

Away

4–4

Assists

Xavier Baribeau

4.1

Away

4–7

Assists

Ryan McNeilly

2.1

Points/game

70.2

Free throw %

Ante Samodol

.818

Points/game

74.1

Free throw %

C. D-Trottier

.875

Points/game

72.1

Free throw %

Ryan McNeilly

.872

Rebounds/game

29.7

Field goal %

Jason Sheperd

.493

Rebounds/game

38.2

Field goal %

F-O. Gagnon-Hebert

.628

Rebounds/game

35.0

Field goal %

Jason Sheperd

.493

Fans of the Memorial Seahawks men’s basketball team are expecting improvements this season after finishing last in the AUS last season. After adding size and athleticism in the offseason and a busy summer of training, the team has high hopes. Head coach Peter Benoite is back for his second season at the helm of the program. In 2008-09, Benoite inherited the program late in the summer, which affected his ability to recruit and train his athletes. However, with a full off-season under his belt, Benoite’s expectations heading into the season are high. Assistants Martin Cull and Evan Constantine will also return, giving the coaching staff stability that it has not seen in a number of years. Leading Memorial this year will be third year wing and team captain Jason Shepherd. The Nova Scotian continues to improve on the defense and in passing offense. Joining Shepherd on the wing will be sophomores Robbie Habib and Mike Quigley and rookies Mike Helsby, Jordan Constantine and Justin Grainger. Habib as deep range and a quick release that, when he is on, can light up the scoreboard. Helsby is a 6’4 rookie from Waterloo that has the tools to make an immediate contribution to the lineup. Coach Benoite is optimistic this year. “We are bigger, stronger, and more athletic then we were last year,” he said, “With a year of experience, and given that guys are starting to get comfortable, I feel we are well positioned to have a very positive season.”

A healthy J.F. Beaulieu-Mahieux could be the difference between a good and great season for Laval Rouge et Or and, if last night is any indication, he is healthy. At the dawn of his third season at the helm of the Rouge et Or, head coach Jacques Paiement Jr. is more optimistic than ever that he can rely on his established veterans as well as four rookies for success this season. Leading the way is Jean-François Beaulieu Maheux,who is in his fifth and last season. Also returning for their last seasons are Xavier Baribeau, Jerome Turcotte-Routhier and Etienne Labrecque. To supplement his established roster, Paiement has recruited Hugues Ryan, Marvin Vebobe, Olivier Lefebvre et Alexandre Prophète, all of whom will be competing for playtime. Ryan, was elected a first team All-Star in 2009-2010, and “is a physical guard who will bring very strong energy field” and who has leadership experience from 2007, when he led Team Quebec to a silver medal at the Canadian championships. Vebobe, he was a top athlete who was training with the National Institute for Sport and Physical Education (INSEP) in France. Having already been named to the U-16’s nationals of his country of origin, Vebobe comes from a basketball family. His two brothers are currently evolving in the professional and his father played for 20 years in the best basketball league in France.

Toronto area fans should take note of the new-look Ryerson Rams, with several exciting new recruits added to its roster, begin their first season in the post-Boris Bakovic era. Head coach Roy Rana, back for his second season, is hoping to take his team to its fourth straight playoff appearance. Rana has a history coaching Canadian national teams, including a bronze medal win for the Cadet Men’s National Team in 2010. He was also an assistant coach of the 2009 Senior Men’s National Team, which qualified for the World championships. The men’s Rams are looking for players to step up in the absence of Bakovic, who has been one the OUA’s best players over the last several years. The team will also be without their second leading scorer from last season, Josh Budd. Despite the presence of Bakovic, the team finished with a losing record last season, with a record of 10-12. This year, Ryerson will be depending on last year’s third leading scorer, guard Ryan McNeilly. McNeilly is in his fifth and last season, and he recorded 11.8 points per game last season. Rams fans will also be hoping for the success of a recent transfer student, Ola Adegboruwa, who led Lake Region College to its best ever season with an average of 16.6 points and 7.2 rebounds per game.


Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

McGill

University of Alberta

Martlets 4 5 6 7 8 9 11 12 14 20 21 22 24 RS

G G F G G F G F G G F P G PG

Laurier

Golden

Pandas

Maude Dagenais Natalie Larocque Anneth Him-Lazarenko Caroline Binette Francoise Charest Frances Grout-Brown Roya Assadi Alexandra Hendren Marie-Eve Martin Abena Addo Helene Bibeau Valerie L’Ecuyer Brianne Coglon Eve Marquis-Poulin

5’7 5’7 5’10 5’10 5’6 5’8 5’10 5’10 5’8 5’8 6’1 6’2 5’8 5’8

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

F G F G G G G G F F F F F G F

Saskia Van Ginhoven Marisa Haylett Anneka Bakker Sally Hillier Nicole Clarke Sarah Binns Jaime Norum Megan Wickstrom Arianne Sakundiak Kendra Asleson Kirsten Molesky Alysia Rissling Caitlin Stiksma Kaitlyn Arbuthnot Georgia Popovici

6’1 5’10 6’1 5’6 5’11 6’ 5’8 5’9 6’3 6’ 5’10 5’10 6’ 5’10 6’1

4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 23

G G G G G W P W P G P P P

Felicia Mazerolle Amber Hillis Laura Doyle Mallory Kohlmeier Renata Adamczyk Bree Chaput Anna Southall-Millward Doreen Bonsu Kimberly Yeldon Alena Luciani Aimee Van Dam Megan Grant Christa Mancino

Head Coach: Ryan Thorne (8th season)

Head Coach: Scott Edwards (4th season)

Head Coach: Paul Falco (3rd season)

Team Summary

Team Summary

Team Summary

09–10 Leaders

19

09–10 Leaders

5’3 5’4 5’7 5’6 5’10 5’8 5’11 5’8 6’ 5’11 6’1 6’0 6’0

09–10 Leaders

Conference

7–9

Scoring

A. Him-Lazarenko

15.0

Conference

15–5

Scoring

Marisa Haylett

13.9

Home

3–5

Rebounding

A. Him-Lazarenko

7.8

Home

6–4

Rebounding

Caitlin Stiksma

5.4

Home

8–4

Rebounding

Mallory Kohlmeier

3.7

Away

4–4

Assists

Marie Eve-Martin

1.6

Away

9–1

Assists

Kaitlyn Arbuthnot

2.7

Away

2–8

Assists

Kaitlyn Arbuthnot

2.2

Points/game

59.9

Free throw %

Helene Bibeau

.926

Points/game

72.7

Free throw %

Anneka Bakker

.906

Points/game

64.4

Free throw %

Mallory Kohlmeier

.821

Rebounds/game

32.6

Field goal %

A. Him-Lazarenko

.472

Rebounds/game

44.3

Field goal %

Anneka Bakker

.469

Rebounds/game

38.5

Field goal %

Amy Van dam

.5

Ryan Thorne enters his eighth season this year as head coach. The 38-year-old resident of Chateauguay, Que., currently boasts an 84–136 overall record as coach of the Martlets, including a 47–95 mark in conference play. Thorne is in the process of rebuilding the program and has managed to entice a few of top-notch recruits to McGill, including three players who went on to capture conference rookie-of-the-year honours. The main strength of the team was their offense, especially from the free throw line. The Martlets were a deadly force from the line, ranked sixth in the CIS. They are also deadly from behind the 3-pt line, ranking 10th in the CIS for shots made from beyond the arc. Dynamic forward Anneth Him-Lazarenko is back to dominate the paint and build on her 15 points per game last season, while guard Marie-Eve Martin will be looking to boost secondary scoring and improve on her 12.1 points per game. If they do this and avoid their terrible turnovers then this team will be tough.

After a season and a half as the interim head coach, Scott Edwards officially became the Pandas basketball head coach on February 15, 2008, replacing 15-year coach and former Pandas All-Star Trix Baker. The team had a strong regular season campaign, ending with a record of 15–5. They took their momentum into the playoffs, but after winning their opening round of the playoffs, they failed to qualify for the national championship event by losing both games in the Canada West Final Four event. Last season the Panda’s were fifth in the CIS in points per game, and second in the CIS for rebounding. They also got sent to the line a lot and earned a lot of points through the free throws. The Panda’s will once again be a powerhouse as they lost only one of their three top scorers. Guard Marisa Haylett will be looking to lead the Panda’s to nationals this year, after scoring 14 points per game last year. Guard Nicole Clarke added almost 12 points per game to the offense, plus they have two really good forwards returning in Georgia Popovici and Anneka Bakker.

Conference

10–12

Scoring

Renata Adamczyk

14

Ten years ago Falco joined the Golden Hawk men’s basketball team as an assistant coach for Peter Campbell. After Falco completed a graduate certificate in physical and health education and coaching from Boston University, he took over the head coaching duties of the women’s basketball program in the summer of 2008. Last season the Hawks had some solid home stands, but struggled on the road. They were a strong from beyond the perimeter and underneath the basket rebounded, but on the road their 3-pt shooting suffered, and they turned the ball over more. Those critical mistakes caused some tough loses. Last season the Hawks leaned heavily on guard Renata Adamczyk, who averaged 14 points per game. They will have her back for a final year, and teams will have trouble containing her. Also a force for the Hawks is fourth year 6’0” post player Christa Mancino, who averaged almost 10 points per game and nabbed 5.2 rebounds per game. The Hawks will need them to up their performance if they want those crucial home games in the post-season.


20

Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Women looking to surprise some teams this season Brent Golem asst editor-in-chief

T

Team Summary

he Warriors will be looking to grow up fast this season, starting with some tough games in Naismith against some winning programs. They will have a long way to go to mature as a team since they are probably the youngest team out of the 43 that compete in CIS across Canada. With such a young team there are bound to be growing pains; after all, head coach Tyler Slipp is pushing them to learn a tough motion offense that will take some quick thinking at the fast pace of university basketball. However, the team has their core group of players all blossoming in a the basketball culture that Slipp has refined through his two years as coach. That culture includes some tough strength and conditioning programs combined with rigorous practicing. They hope even if they are lacking the experience of the older teams they face, that they will be able to

09–10 Leaders

Conference

4–18

Scoring

Home

3–7

Rebounding

Away

1–11

Assists

Points/game Rebounds/game

Stephanie Shea

10.5

Laura Becotte

7.6

Erin Tilley

3.2

55

Free throw %

Laura Bossers

.80

34.8

Field goal %

Laura Becotte

.492

outrun them. This year will be all about laying the groundwork of a successful program for years to come. In order to surprise some teams this season the Warriors will be looking for a balanced attack. They will be counting on their young veterans and rookies to all add baskets, especially on the transition game. They want to create some turnovers on defense and then capitalize on the ensuing odd man rushes. “We want to absolutely score before we get into the half-court,” coach Slipp said. On defense the motto will be rebound by committee. Just like in

the offensive zone, everyone will be required to chip in. Without key defenders stepping up, Slipp’s strategy will be implement a few defensive systems to keep their opponents offbalance and missing shots. There will be some exciting matchups this season, and a great rivalry game against Laurier during Naismith. But that not the thing that coach Slipp looking forward to most this season. “It’s exciting to get to this spot; (where we) work hard every day in practice and learn new things,” coach Slipp said. sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

STARTING

Brent golem

5

Colleen Quinlan (#4) will be counted on for a lot of leadership on the floor. Quinlan is the captain heading into the season and will be looking to help the Warriors generate some offense.

PG Erin Tilley (5’5)

SG Colleen Quinlan (5’8)

Quinlan is coming off a much improved campaign, and will be counted on to shoot more and lead the offense in numerous ways as she dons the captaincy.

Power Forward/Center

With both starters gone and a whack of new recruits, including three six foot players, there will be a battle to determine who will emerge as the team’s starters in the paint. Most likely the minutes will be shared as the fresh faces get used to the tempo of the game.

Tilley had a strong rookie season last year, and wasn’t afraid to shoot from inside and outside. She will be counted on to improve her game while guiding a young motion offense.

SF Meghan Martyna (5’8)

Although this is her first year as a Warrior, she has burned up three years playing in the Alberta Colleges Athletic League averaging about six points/game. She is two years removed from the court, however. XIAOBO LIU

rocky choi

Laura Bossers (#10) will be one of six returning veterans, four of whom are only sophomores. Now in his third year at the helm, this is no doubt coach Tyler Slipp’s team, seasoned with strong conditioning and fast motion offense. Hopefully the girls can keep up.


Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

21

2010 – 2011 women’s basketball team Position: Forward

Position: Guard

Major: Arts

Major: Kinesiology Elig. Year: Three

4

Height: 5’8”

Hometown: Hamilton

Colleen Quinlan

5

Sarah Leitch

Position: Guard

7 Mackenzie Lougheed

Height: 6’0”

8

Madison Behr

Position: Guard

Height: 5’10”

Hometown: Stratford

Position: Point Guard Major: Kinesiology

Elig. Year: Height: 5’10” One

Elig. Year: Height: Two 5’10”

Hometown: Ancaster

Hometown: Oakville

9

Erin Tilley

Position: Guard Major: Kinesiology Height: 5’8”

Hometown: Heidelburg

11 Laura Burnett

Height: 6’0”

Elig. Year: Height: 5’5” One

12 Sabrina Braithwaite

Hometown: Sarnia

14 Jenna Graham

Major: Speech Comm.

15 Saraya Hickey

Major: Optometry

22 Meghan Martyna

Elig. Year: Height: Four 5’11” Hometown: St. Albert

Elig. Year: Height: Two 5’5” Hometown: Tsawwassen

Position: Head Coach

Position: Forward

Height: 6’0”

Hometown: Brampton

Position: Point Guard

Elig. Year: Height: 5’7” One

Major: Science

21 Kate Kuntz

Tori Lee

Major: Geography

Position: Forward

Hometown: Stratford

6

Position: Guard

Hometown: Mission

Elig. Year: One

Hometown: Grimsby

Elig. Year: One

Major: Kinesiology

13 Theresa Jacobse

Hometown: Barrie

Major: Kinesiology

Position: Forward

Elig. Year: One

Elig. Year: Height: Two 5’7’’

Position: Guard

Major: Environmental Engineering

10 Laura Bossers

Elig. Year: Height: One 5’11”

Major: Health

Hometown Owen Sound

Elig. Year: Two

Major: Rec and Leisure

Position: Guard

Major: Science Elig. Year: One

Position: Guard

Year: 3 Years

C

Tyler Slipp

Home Province: New Brunswick


22

Sports & Living

Men’s division

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

VS VS

VS VS

VS VS

VS VS

VS VS

VS VS

Friday

6:00 p.m.

Friday

8:00 p.m.

Women’s division Friday

1:00 p.m.

Friday

3:00 p.m.

Saturday

Sunday

6:00 p.m.

12:00 p.m.

Saturday

Sunday

8:00 p.m.

4:00 p.m.

Saturday

1:00 p.m.

Saturday

3:00 p.m.

Sunday

10:00 a.m.

Sunday

2:00 p.m.

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9/23/10 10:55:37 AM


Top prizes include: $200 gift certificate at the Waterloo Store, Ultimate Shoe Tag ($130 value), $75 gift certificate at McGinnis Front Row

Residence Residence Only Only dodgeball dodgeball tournament tournament

Ocotber 15 - 17, 2010 WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

MEN’S BASKETBALL

10.15.10 | 3:00 PM vs Alberta vs. Waterloo

10.15.10 | 8:00 PM vs Memorial vs. Waterloo

10.16.10 | 3:00 PM vs McGill vs. Waterloo

10.16.10 | 8:00 PM vs Laval vs. Waterloo

10.17.10 | 2:00 PM vs Laurier vs. Waterloo

10.17.10 | 4:00 PM vs Ryerson vs. Waterloo

RESIDENCE ONLY DODGEBALL TOURNAMENT Saturday, October 30, 2010

RAPTORS TRIP

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vs. HOUSTON ROCKETS Friday, November 19, 2010

Register in the Athletics Office October 12-27

Tickets: $45.00 includes game ticket and transportation Tickets on sale in the Athletics Office starting October 12


Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Therapists, parole boards and NFL GM’s:asking the tough questions

Ron Kielstra Jr. staff reporter

Rugby: Women cement playoff berth; men suffer letdown The Waterloo Warrior women’s rugby team finished off their regular season with a thorough demolition of their cross-town rivals, beating the winless Laurier Golden Hawks 49-0. Led by Caitlin Martin and Kaley Maksymyk, who each had two tries in the game, the black and gold had nine different players get on the score sheet as they finished their regular season with a 4-1 record. The Warriors were able to work a number of rookies into the game, something which coaches Jay and Leslie Shaw should be pleased with as they plan for the future. Waterloo will hope to carry the momentum into the post season where they’ll play host to the Brock Badgers in the first round. The Warrior men’s rugby team wasn’t so fortunate, as they ran into a Western Mustang team rejuvenated by the return of fullback Tom Bridger. Waterloo standout Richard Lebel opened the scoring against Western with a penalty kick, and the Warrior defence held out until the second half, but the Mustangs eventually overwhelmed Waterloo to take the match by a 42-15 score. The loss leaves the Warriors in fifth place with two games remaining, one point behind their next opponents, the Queen’s Gaels. Soccer: Men get tie and loss, women win one and lose one The Warrior men’s and women’s soccer teams played host to the Western Mustangs and Windsor Lancers over the Thanksgiving weekend, one week after facing the two schools on the road. Waterloo played well on Saturday, not allowing a single goal as the men earned a 0-0 draw and the women eked out a 1-0 victory. Taking on the second-ranked team in the nation, star keeper Rob McMillan made a number of key saves as the men’s team proved they can compete with the class of the OUA. The women’s team was led by Cambridge’s Eugenia Acosta, who notched her second goal of the season, and rookie midfielder Kiersten Colbran made an emergency start in goal and earned the shutout after the team’s regular keeper, rookie Lesia Bandura was sidelined with a concussion. Unfortunately, the Warriors’ luck seemed to run out against the Lancers on Sunday, with both the men and women losing by scores of 4-1 and 3-1, respectively. After a scoreless first half in the women’s game, the teams traded goals early in the second half before the Lancers pulled away on the strength of a hat trick from Candace Garrod. The men’s team got off to a better start, with Arman Grewel opening the scoring in the 20th minute, but ultimately were done in by another one-player show, as Windsor’s Mike Watson scored four goals in the second half as the Lancers completed the sweep. The Warriors will continue to chase a playoff spot with a weekend set against the McMaster Marauders on Saturday. The women’s team sits in seventh place with three games to play, one spot out of playoff position, while the men’s team will try to draw even with McMaster for fourth place. Field Hockey: Waterloo currently sits in final playoff spot Coming into the weekend sitting one spot out of playoff position, the Waterloo field hockey team played host to the York Lions and the Guelph Gryphons this past Saturday at St. David’s Catholic High School. The Warriors opened the day with a match against the third-place York Lions, and played an aggressive style all game, forcing the York goalkeeper into some tough saves to keep her team in the game. The pressure paid off with a 17th minute goal from Maria Leahy, and the Warriors continued to frustrate the Lions as the game went on. Penalty trouble for the Lions and a lofted goal from Waterloo’s Natalie Chemji sealed the game, as Bronwen Clayfield-Jewett picked up the shutout victory. The Warriors didn’t fare as well in the afternoon game against the undefeated Gryphons, however, as they dropped a 3-0 decision. The Gryphons jumped out to an early lead with a fourth-minute goal and capitalized on a goaltending mistake to push their lead to 2-0 just before halftime. Waterloo came out swinging in the second half, but couldn’t find a hole in the Guelph defence as they eventually lost 3-0. With the win against York, however, Waterloo managed to finish the weekend in the fifth and final playoff spot, and now sits just three points banner_ad_v6.qxd 10/12/10 3:18 PM Page 1 back of third with five games to play.

Andrew Arevalo reporter

T

herapists, parole boards and NFL GM’s, asking the tough questions. There was a story this past spring that really became controversial and I’m just going to try and add a reasonable perspective to it. I keep saying this about people today, nobody is emotionally intelligent and the EQ of this continent has gone down into the toilet. Here’s the story out of Miami. This past May, everybody was ripping on Miami Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland. He was interviewing Dez Bryant before the NFL draft. Bryant is a mess, he’s immature, he’s a flake, I mean he’s a wide receiver … most of them are. I believe his mom served jail time, Ireland asked a question: Is your mom a prostitute? Everybody was like, “Oh my god, I’m so mad, I want to punch him in the face.” Folks, let’s just take a breath, we’re adults here, let’s take the emotion of out it and let’s ask a couple of questions here…okay? First, there is a lot of different ways to ask one question. When I walk down the hallways at my co-op job this term (Cancer Care Ontario) and I walk past an attractive women I can say, “You look nice today,” or I can say, [suggestive voice] “You look nice today.” Same thing on paper, two different questions. One gets you pulled into the human resource office, the other gets a “Why, thank you,” response. Did Ireland go “Hey, is your mom a hook? What is your mom, a prostitute?” Or after 90 minutes of Bryant opening up about his troubled past, did Jeff Ireland say “so you’re saying you mom is a prostitute?” You don’t know and I don’t know. You can say the same thing in a different tone, and it can mean two different things. For example, I’m making you a millionaire and your family is a mess, again I’m not interviewing you for a cook job at McDonald’s. I’m going to pay you $40 million. I’ve got some freedoms in regards to my questions…deal with it! It’s much like a parole board at a prison; you, the interviewee, virtually have no rights. The NFL is taking huge gambles in giving you $40 million. But you’re a flake, you’re immature, you lied to the NCAA, your family is a mess. I personally wouldn’t ask the question Ireland did, but cupcake… I’ve got freedoms to ask when I’m giving you that kind of money. You’re not interviewing for a line position at Subway. This is a huge job, I’m making you a multi-millionaire. I am protecting my owner, the fans, my players, and my investors, I’ve got some freedoms, no? By the way, therapists do this every day, they make you uncomfortable. When you go to a therapist, they don’t talk about the rainbow and the lollipop. They ask you about your childhood and you cry about it. If you want to breakthrough, you have to ask the tough questions. I probably don’t ask this question, but you know what makes us uncomfortable about this question? Mom and sex in the same sentence. Ever heard of the cougar? Those cougars are attracted to other people’s moms, they just don’t want

to talk about their own mom. A lot of the 40-year-old guys out there that are offended by it, let me just tell you that that’s somebody’s mommy! You just don’t like talking about your own mom, none of us do. So you put mom and sex in the same sentence, that’s uncomfortable. My mom has never had sex … well okay, once for me, but that was it, haha. That’s how we guys are; we don’t want to talk about that. Like did Dez Bryant’s head fall off ? Did he die? Did his arm fall off ? No. He’s a big boy, he’s gone on to make his money, and he’s fine. Besides, Ireland has totally rebuilt the Dolphins. I’ve listed them as favourites to win the AFC East, he’s a smart dude. Just like Bill Clinton, he’s a smart dude, too. Smart dude are sometimes risk takers and make bad judgments. But this is not interviewing you for a job in college, it’s not interviewing for a cook at Swiss Chalet. I am going to make you an instant millionaire and you have a shady background of immaturity … these days with some of these players, the mom /the sister/ the brother /the uncle, drug dealers… what, I can’t ask about drugs? No, you’re comfortable with the drugs; it’s the sex thing that freaks you out. Last I checked, you can ask Bryant 100 questions about sex, but it’s the mom and sex thing that freaks us all out and you know what, I get it and I wouldn’t ask it. But the deeper an investor digs into a company, the more he knows about them, the more success he has on the back end. You have to dig deep to get the truth. You have to make people uncomfortable. This is probably an area I don’t go in, but everybody’s like “Oh that’s totally inappropriate, I’d punch him in the face and...” pfft, no you wouldn’t, because you wouldn’t make the NFL. If you punched him, you’d be off every GM’s draft board. Sometimes therapists, parole boards, and NFL GM’s ask questions to initiate a response. They are inappropriate, they are uncomfortable, but in this case, nobody died. “But Andrew, there is that unwritten rule…” sorry I’m not into unwritten rules, no such thing. They are all written down, if they are not, then I’m breaking them. I’m offended that 35 per cent of Canada is obese and I’ll be paying for it with my taxes, that’s a real issue. There is nothing I can really do about it though. I mean ask yourself this: If you grow up and your mom was a hook, would it or would it not affect you? It absolutely does! And I’m paying you $40 million. Maybe there is a better way to ask it? But Ireland is an NFL GM, he’s not a therapist. They are “get to the point” type of people. Bill Parcells hired him, historically he’s a “get to the point” type of guy. Again, I would not phrase it that way, I would ask about the mother’s lifestyle. But this “Oh my god, you can’t ask that question.” You have to dig deep. You pay half of these players $600 million in the draft and $300 million of it will go down the toilet because guys don’t ask tough questions. You have to dig! I wouldn’t ask it, but I understand why Jeff Ireland asked it.

ATHLETES OF THE WEEK PRESENTS...

THIS WEEK IN

ATHLETICS RECREATION AND

OCTOBER 17

(W) HOCKEY 2010-2011

OUA

HOME OPENER

1/4 FINALS

Sports Editorial

24

VS YORK LIONS 2:00 PM

LINZ

JARRETT

CIF ARENA

WOMEN’S SWIMMING

MEN’S HOCKEY

OCTOBER 15

OCTOBER 16

OCTOBER 17

(M) HOCKEY

(W) RUGBY

(W)(M) SOCCER

VS GUELPH GRYPHONS 7:30 PM

VS BROCK BADGERS 1:00 PM

VS GUELPH GRYPHONS (W) 1:00 PM, (M) 3:15 PM

CIF ARENA

CIF FIELDS

CIF FIELDS

BUCKINGHAM SCHNURR


Campus Bulletin UPCOMING EVENTS October 2010 Rotunda Gallery presents “Forlorn Factories: Found Beauty in Kitchener’s Industrial Landscapes” by Brian Douglas from October 1 to 31. Reception October 7 from 5 to 7 p.m. For more info 519-741-3400, ext. 3381. Sunday, October 17, 2010 “Expression and Vision – A Fall Exhibition” at Homer Watson House & Gallery at 1754 Old Mill Road, Kitchener. Reception from 2 to 4 p.m. For more info 519-748-4377. Nota Bene Period Orchestra: “The Grand Tour,” 3 pm at the Registry Theatre, Kitchener. For info/tickets, visit www.nbpo.com or call 519-745-6565. Monday, October 18, 2010 WANTED: Buyers – shoppers for United Way and UW “We’ve Got You Covered” fundraiser used coat and jacket sale, Multi Purpose Room, SLC, from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. today and October 20. Adult to children sizes. Cash only. For more info call ext. 38120 or ext. 35618. heARTS for Pakistan - a silent art auction and fundraiser for the flood survivors held at the Gladstone Hotel, Toronto. For more information, visit www. hearts4pakistan.com Canadian Federation of University Women, KW, presents “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” at 7:30 p.m.. For more info www.cfuwkw.org or 519740-5249. New members welcome! Tuesday, October 19, 2010 Desire2Learn Info Session and Open House from 5:30 to 7:00 pm, 151 Charles St. West, Suite 400. RSVP: InfoNight@Desire2Learn.com Thursday, October 21, 2010 Film Society is showing films from countries whose films are rarely seen in Canada. First screening, “Cinemas of Caucasus: Georgia (Gruzia)” is at 7pm, East Campus Hall Auditorium, 1220. Free admission. Saturday, October 23, 2010 “An Evening For Matangwe” – join us for an evening of dancing, steel drums, food, silent auction, etc at the Kitchener Portuguese Club. For more info www.caringpartners.com. Sunday, October 24, 2010 Homer Watson House & Gallery presents: Halloween Family Fun Day at Homer’s Haunted House. Families are invited from 1 to 4 pm to try out their costumes, carve pumpkins, and participate in spooky activities! For admission and registration information, visit www.homerwatson.on.ca November 2010 ACCKWA’s Online Charity Auction from November 1 to 9 on ebay.ca or ebay.com – search “acckwa”. Great items just in time for the holidays! For more info call Colleen at 519-5703687, ext 334. Saturday, November 13, 2010 Christmas Craft and Bake Sale: Vendors offering unique items. Christian books, jewelry, scrap booking, knitting, woodworking, and homemade baked items. Lunch available. Free admission 8 am to 2 pm, Messiah Lutheran Church, Waterloo. For more info, call 519-884-3849.

VOLUNTEERING

Volunteer with a child at their school and help improve their self-esteem and confidence. Call Canadian Mental Health at 519-744-7645, ext. 229. City of Waterloo has volunteer opportunities. For info call 519-8886478 or www.waterloo.ca/volunteer. The Distress Centre needs volunteers to provide confidential, supportive listening on our crisis and distress lines. Complete training provided. Call 519-744-7645, ext. 300. Volunteer Action Centre, 519-7428610 / volunteer@volunteerkw.ca, for all your volunteering needs! Volunteers needed – The English

Tutor program is in constant need of volunteers to tutor international students. Volunteering is an essential part of student life at UW. Apply online at www.iso.uwaterloo.ca. Volunteer required to rebuild website for Kitchener International Children’s Games Chapter. Call 519-886-6918 and leave message or respond to icgkitchener@hotmail.com.

UW RECREATION EVENTS Sunday, October 17: “Hike at Schneiders Woods, near Erbsville” from 2 to 4 pm. No dogs or baby buggies please. Wednesday, November 24: Feng Shui Discussion Group, MC 5136, 12 noon – all welcome. Sunday, November 28: “Peter Pan Pantomime” at St. Jacobs Country Playhouse. UWRC Book Club, Wednesdays at 12 noon in LIB 407 - all welcome! October 20: “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert ; November 17: “To Kill A Mockingbird” by Harper Lee ; December 21: “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” by Shaffer and Barrows. Movie ticket discounts available from Empire Theatre, Galaxy, Princess. For more info for all the above email schatten@uwaterloo.ca or uwrc@uwaterloo. ca.

STUDENT AWARDS & FINANCIAL AID Go to safa.uwaterloo.ca for a full listing of scholarships and awards.

CAREER SERVICES WORKSHOPS

October 19, 2010 Business Etiquette and Professionalism: Learn proper dining etiquette, appropriate interview behaviour, employer receptions, and other networking activities. 2:30 PM - 3:30 PM, TC 1208. October 20, 2010 Professional School & Post Degree Days: Representatives from Canadian and international universities/colleges will provide information to assist you in planning further education. 11:00 AM - 2:00 PM, SLC Great Hall. Exploring Your Personality Type (Part I): Two session workshop. There is a material charge of $10.00 payable at Career Services prior to first session. Online test must be completed prior to the workshop date. 2:30 PM - 4:00 PM, TC 1113. October 25, 2010 Academic Interview: This workshop is open only to 4th year, Masters, and PhD students. 12:00 PM - 1:30 PM, TC 2218. Teaching Philosophy Statement: Learn to work on your own teaching philosophy with Trevor Homes. No prior experience necessary. 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM, TC 2218. October 26, 2010 Writing CVs and Cover Letters: This workshop is open only to 4th year, Masters, and PhD students. 12:00 PM - 1:30 PM, TC 2218.

ANNOUNCEMENTS Nominations are requested for the following undergraduate student seats on Senate: Environment Seat - one student elected by/from the full-time undergraduate students in the Faculty of Environment, term to April 30, 2012. At-large seat - one student elected from/by the full-time undergraduate students, term to April 30, 2011. The nomination form is at: www.secretariat. uwaterloo.ca/elections/ugnomform. pdf. At least five nominators are required in each case. Completed nomination forms should be submitted to the Chief Returning Officer, Secretariat, NH 3060, no later than 4:30 pm, Friday, October 15, 2010. By-elections will follow if necessary. Information about Senate, including its committee/ councils is at: www.adm.uwaterloo.ca/ infosec/governance/senate.htm.

ONGOING Tuesdays CNIB Lions Low Vision Clinic - conducted to provide an opportunity for CNIB services and support, and access scheduled appointments with a CNIB Specialist. 9 am - 4 pm, 181 King St. S., Waterloo. For more info, visit www. cnib.ca.

UPTOWN WATERLOO BIA EVENTS 2010 Saturday, October 9 – 29th Annual Pancake Breakfast Saturday, October 9 – 32nd Annual Great Oktoberfest Barrel Race Monday, October 11 – Thanksgiving Day Parade November 2010 – UpTown Waterloo BIA Annual General Meeting November 4-6 – UpTown Waterloo Treasure Hunt Saturday, November 20 – Santa Claus Parade November 2010 – Holiday Open House December 2010 – FREE Horse Drawn Trolley Rides December 2010 – Victorian Carolers For more information about the above events call 519-885-1921 or email uptownwaterloobia@waterloo.ca or www. uptownwaterloobia.com.

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010 ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Classified LOST

$250 reward for the return of my watch. Lost Thursday, September 9 in or around Environment 1. Watch is metal with my name “Jeff” on the back. Huge sentimental value. Please email me at jcasello@uwaterloo.ca.

SERVICES Private tutoring in math by recently retired professor, with Ph. D. and 38 years teaching. Most undergrad courses, including precalculus, first and second year calculus, statistics, matrix and linear algebra, discrete and financial mathematics, real analysis, set theory, modern algebra, topology, etc., plus statistics from other departments or business mathematics. Resident in Kitchener. Inquire dlgrant1946@ gmail.com WE BUY TUNES - Thousands of Records (VINYL) for sale at 3 locations. Most sell for $5.00 each. ROCK & ROLL, CLASSIC ROCK, etc. Market Road Antiques - www.stjacobs. com ; Stratford Antique Warehouse www.stratfordantiquewarehouse. com (Both Open 7 days a week). 3rd location in St. Clements - contact us for more details. We also buy record

collections. Bill and Cindy Dietrich: webuytunes77@rogers.com or 519699-5520 Does your thesis or major paper need a fresh pair of eyes to catch English spelling and grammar errors? Thesis English editing. Five business day turnaround. Neal Moogk-Soulis, ncmoogks@uwaterloo.ca.

HELP WANTED Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Human Resources, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Security door staff: Immediate part time weekend positions for experienced security/door staff with calm demeanor. Resume in person: The Flying Dog or e-mail to info@revolutionnightclub.com. Bartender: Personable bartenders to deliver guest first service, minimum 1 year full service bar experience. Friday, Saturday nights. Resume in person: The Flying Dog or e-mail to info@ revolutionnightclub.com.


Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010 science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

The biology of

sexual orientation

jordancampbell

Jordan Campbell science & technology editor

W

hat are the implications of a genetic link to sexual orientation? There are fears that finding a biological reason as to why some deviate from the heterosexual “norm” will make homosexuality seem like a genetic mutation or an illness that can be cured. Others may look at it as an escape from the centuries of social and religious stigma placed on the queer community for supposedly choosing to be attracted to others of the same sex. The biological implications of sexuality have been a subject of research for quite some time. Early studies in the 1970s mainly pertained to the hypothalamus, a gland that controls the release of sex hormones from the pituitary gland. Dietrich Dörner attempted to correlate hormone abnormality with homosexuality in experiments conducted on lab rats. Dörner theorized that the hypothalamus glands of homosexual males were structured in a similar way to heterosexual females. Because of this, both specimens should react similarly to the injections of various androgens (the hormones that control male sex characteristics). Dörner’s early hormone experiments did not thoroughly expose a connection between our DNA and for whom we lust, but it did open the door for almost all of the research

currently being conducted on the subject. Inhibited only by some social, religious, and political walls to block funding, scientists continue their research on the fairly modern neurohormonal theory of sexual development. This theory states that the hormone levels foetuses are exposed to in the womb control their brain development and, ultimately, their sexual preference. The neurohormonal theory is being studied at length by Charles Roselli, of the Oregon Health and Science University. Roselli set out to show the correlation between brain structure, prenatal hormone exposure, and sexual preference in sheep (it is estimated that about eight per cent of adult rams pursue sex with other male rams exclusively). Roselli’s studies were met with much controversy, however. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) claimed animal cruelty. Countless other individuals felt that Roselli’s research would lead to screening for sexual orientation in human foetuses, and felt that the neurohormonal theory was hoping to find a “cure” for homosexuality. Roselli persists that the purpose of his studies is to improve breeding performance in livestock sheep. He claims that the gap between human sexuality and sheep sexuality is a very large one to bridge. In fact, while there are many conclusive studies regarding sexuality manipulation in various animals, human beings remain

relatively unstudied. Manipulating hormone levels in unborn humans to try and control their future sexual orientation is obviously unethical, but sometimes this happens naturally. Women with congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH) excrete an unusual amount of sex hormones in the womb. A very disproportionate amount of women with CAH are lesbians. The problem with studying human sexuality in correlation to biology is that we aren’t limited to our genetics. It is still widely thought that social and environmental factors contribute to who we share our beds with. It is quite likely that our preferences are an amalgamation of our genes and our experiences. One thing that has become increasingly certain in both the social and life sciences is that who we desire is not a choice. Whether hardwired into our nuero-anatomy or buried deep in our subconscious, we want who we want. Marc Breedlove, a neuroscientist with Michigan State University, says: “If you’re going to say people choose a sexual orientation when they reach puberty, you’re going to have to find some people who remember making that choice, and there aren’t any.” —With files from Sex, Cells, and Same-Sex Desire: The Biology of Sexual Preference, The National Sexuality Resource Center, the Seattle Times, and the New York Times. jcampbell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Microsoft phones and Google cars Jennifer Nguyen assistant science & technology editor Microsoft back in the game with new mobile OS

After a period of inactivity in the mobile market, Microsoft has announced the launch of its new mobile operating systems. Windows Phone 7 is the successor to the much defunct Windows Mobile OS. Over the past few years, Microsoft has seen its market share in the mobile market dip to a fourth place low due to a rise in popularity of other mobile operating systems such as Google’s Android and Apple’s iPhone. The software giant hopes that with the release of Windows Phone 7, it can regain its presence in the mobile market. The OS is completely revamped, requiring phones to have at a minimum a high resolution 800x400 symmetrical multi-touch touchscreen, 256 MB of internal RAM, 8 GB of flash storage, a 5 MP camera with flash, a GPS, a proximity sensor, a compass, an accelerometer, WiFi, and Bluetooth capabilities. In addition, Windows Phone 7 features Hubs, Internet-based portals to enhance a user’s phone experience. They include:

Marketplace: Users can search and download new apps. Games: Features Xbox LIVE games and other Xbox gaming abilities. Office: Users can create Microsoft Office documents and files. People: Aggregates all contacts’ data from Facebook and other social networking sites. Pictures: Allows users to take and share photos as well as view photos shared by contacts. Music & Video: Play music, movies, TV shows, and FM radio. Phones running Windows Phone 7 will be available in Canada starting November 7. These include the HTC 7 Surround and LG Optimus 7, both from Telus, LG Optimus Quantum from Bell, and the Samsung Focus from Rogers. Facebook unveils new user controls

Amidst criticisms of poor security, Facebook is adding more privacy features to allow users more control of their data. For the first time, Facebook is letting users download all the data they have ever uploaded to the site. This includes photos, wall posts, and all status updates. The “Download Your Information” tool allows users the possibility of transferring their information to other sites.

“It is not our information. It is people's information. We just have this strong philosophical belief that people own that information and they should be able set exactly who can see it, move it to different applications and use it how they want. They should be able to take it away if they want,” said Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg. Facebook is also launching a “groups” feature whereby users can create groups of friends in which they can share information with. This mimics the real world where people may have close friends who they share certain information that they wouldn’t share with other friends. “There are some things you are comfortable saying to all your friends at once but a lot of things you only want to share with your close co-workers or your family and there just hasn't been a great way to do that until now,” stated Zuckerberg. Google testing computer-controlled cars

For those who like to multi-task, driving and texting can soon be a reality with the help of driverless cars. In addition to many of its other ongoing projects, Google has taken on the task of developing computer-controlled cars. These cars can stop, go, and turn, all without human input. Furthermore, the cars are able to determine the surrounding

speed limit, traffic patterns, and road maps. Google engineers have begun testing the cars, driving up and down the state of California with six Toyota Priuses and an Audi TT equipped with video cameras, radar sensors, and lasers. These act as the cars’ eyes and ears so that they can drive on their own. Nevertheless, there is always a human driver at the wheel to ensure that the software is working correctly. So far the cars have logged a total of 224,000 kilometres with occasional human input and had only one recorded accident (one of the test cars was rear-ended by another car while at a traffic light). “[Computer-controlled cars can] help prevent traffic accidents, free up people’s time and reduce carbon emissions,” said Sebastian Thrun, the project’s leader and co-inventor of Google Street View. Since the cars are driven by computers, they can drive closer together and thereby double road capacity. Furthermore, these cars may help to reduce gas consumption because they will be built of lighter material. The only concern is the reliability of the computers controlling the cars and if the Google engineers can prevent them from crashing. —With files from Globe and Mail, the NY Times, and BBC.


Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

A bore he was not

L

alcinawong

ast Thursday marked a noteworthy anniversary in the history of physics: the 125th birthday of Niels Bohr. You didn't celebrate it? Well, neither did I, but it's a perfect excuse to discuss one of the 20th Century’s most famous and influential physicist. Niels Bohr is one of the founding fathers of quantum mechanics and proposed the first successful model of the atom. He was a contemporary and great friend of Einstein and mentor to many of the physicists who would write the laws of quantum mechanics. Fame was not limited to Bohr. His brother, Harald, became a respected mathematician in the field of mathematical analysis and was the first to investigate classes of mathematical objects known as almost periodic functions. In addition, and to further shed the image that the physicist is lanky or unathletic, both Niels and Harald were professional soccer players. Harald even played at the 1908 Olympics for the Danish national team and took home a silver medal. Niels’ son was not immune to fame either. Aage Bohr became a prominent nuclear physicist and won the Nobel Prize in 1975, like his father, for work on the structure of the atom. It was during the 1920s that Bohr won the Nobel Prize for his early investigations into the structure of atoms. As many will recall from high school chemistry, Bohr was able to explain spectral lines of hydrogen by allowing electrons to orbit at discrete energy levels. This model made the first steps towards the more accurate quantum mechanics which Bohr played a role in developing. This discovery rocketed Bohr to superstardom—or as much as one could be in the 1910s—in his home country of Denmark. To illustrate just how well known Bohr was in Denmark, the father of one his students, Casimir, was very skeptical of Bohr’s fame and as an experiment sent a letter to his son with “c/o Niels Bohr, Denmark” being the only address. The letter was delivered promptly and with no modification of the address.

Bohr also had a very playful side. Many months later, Bohr, Casimir, and a few colleagues were walking home late at night from a farewell dinner for a friend. While walking through the deserted streets of Copenhagen, the group passed by a bank that, as Casimir was also an experienced mountaineer, provided an adequate challenge to climb. Casimir quickly scaled the first three stories and back down again with minimal effort. Bohr, who was an inexperienced climber, did not want to be outdone and attempted to climb the building himself. During his ascension, two policemen walked by and noticed some “criminals” attempting to “break into the bank.” They approached with their hands on their holsters, but soon caught glimpse of the “criminals” and stated “Oh, it’s only Professor Bohr!” and returned to patrolling the streets. This sort of playful behaviour is also evident during World War One, albeit much more foolish, when Bohr and a friend were walking along the beach and happened upon a landmine. For whatever reason, the two decided that it would be a good idea to throw rocks at it. As I mentioned above, Bohr played a large role in the formulation of quantum mechanics. While he doesn’t have any really famous equations named after him, he is responsible for the most widely accepted interpretation of quantum mechanics: the Copenhagen interpretation. His role in the interpretation of quantum mechanics reached new levels when he had his famous debates with Einstein. The BohrEinstein debates are a famous set of public debates about the foundations of quantum mechanics, with Einstein constantly trying to find flaws in the ideas of quantum mechanics and with Bohr adamantly defending quantum mechanics. Many times Einstein would leave a meeting with a large smile on his face while Bohr would be running around trying to find the flaw in the thought experiment. Inevitably, the next morning Bohr would return with a large smile on his face having found a subtle point that would refute Einstein’s criticism. The debates were entirely scientific and Bohr and Einstein remained good friends. At the Institute for Advanced Study Einstein had a large office, but preferred to use the smaller office adjoining it. The large office was given to important visitors, and Bohr would occupy the office during his yearly visits. When Bohr was forming an idea, he would pace around back and forth while repeating a word or phrase until the idea had taken full form and quickly bounce it off his assistant. During one particular visit, Bohr was contemplating some thought experiment Einstein had devised and was staring out the window muttering “Einstein, Einstein, Einstein...” In the adjacent office, Einstein had an urge for some tobacco but was under strict doctor’s orders not to buy any. Einstein’s interpretation of the doctor’s orders was quite literal, so he decided to steal some from Bohr. Einstein opened the door to Bohr’s office, directed a “shh” motion towards the assistant, and proceeded to sneak towards the box on Bohr’s desk containing the tobacco. At this very moment, Bohr’s idea formed and he quickly turned around, shouting “Einstein” and pointing his finger at Einstein who was caught red-handed in the tobacco box.

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Earliest plants on land found

The recent discovery of fossilized liverworts pushes the previous suggested time of colonization of land from about 460 million years ago to about 470 million years ago. Presumed to be the common ancestor of all plants that exists today, liverworts have no stem or roots. This discovery was made by a team led by Claudia Rubinstein of the department of palaeontology at the Argentine Institute of Snow, Ice and Environmental Research in Mendoza, Argentina. Rubinstein found the samples within Rio Capillas, the Sierras Subandinas in the Central Andean Basin of northwest Argentina. “Spores of liverworts are very simple and are called cryptospores,” Rubinstein said, “The cryptospores that we describe are the earliest to date.” The spores found in the samples had dated about 473 to about 471 million years ago. They ranged from five different groups of plant life. “That shows plants had already begun to diversify, meaning they must have colonized land earlier than our dated samples,” said Rubinstein. Finding the spores were of no surprise to the scientists, but the fact that the samples were liverworts was. With this discovery, the origins of plant life on land seemed to point towards Argentina. “It most probably happened on Gondwana, as already demonstrated by previous discoveries, but very far, at least 5,000 km, from the Saudi Arabian and the Czech Republic, where previous earliest traces of land plants were found,” said Rubinstein. WHO tackles tuberculosis

The World Health Organization (WHO) plans to take on the disease that is responsible for about 2 million deaths a year. It will try to accomplish this through a series of drug testing, diagnosis on prevention, and further research. The aim for WHO is to find a definable cure by the year 2015. To do this, WHO says they will require $47 billion. Tubercles bacillus, or TB for short, is an infecting disease that attacks the lungs. Early symptoms of TB consist of

27

fever, sweating, weight loss, and most notably, blood in expelled mucus. One third of the world is currently thought to be infected with this disease. Currently, Asia and Africa have highest counts of people infected with TB. In order to secure funding, WHO is hoping that affluent countries will help with research and donate money to the cause. “The stakes are high: without rapid scale-up of TB prevention and treatment, some 10 million people will die of a curable disease by 2015,” said Marcos Espinal, the partnership’s executive secretary. WHO is aiming to treat 90 per cent of those infected by 2015. Mice memory returns

A new drug discovered at the University of Edinburgh by Dr. Johnathan Seckl has been shown to improve the memory and cognitive function in mice. Humans produce a hormone known as glucocorticoids that gradually deteriorates the brain, causing us to remember less as we grow. Furthermore, levels of glucocorticoids are enhanced by an enzyme known as 11beta-HSD1. Seckle has shown that loss of memory can be reduced by blocking the activities of this enzyme. “These results provide proof-ofconcept that this class of drugs could be useful to treat age-related decline in memory. We previously showed that carbenoxolone, an old drug that blocks multiple enzymes including 11beta-HSD1, improves memory in healthy elderly men and in patients with type 2 diabetes after just a month of treatment, so we are optimistic that our new compounds will be effective in humans. The next step is to conduct further studies with our preclinical candidate to prove that the compound is safe to take into clinical trials, hopefully within a year,” said Prof. Brian Walker, a member of the research team. The 11beta-HSD1 also leads to diabetes and obesity. Additional research is currently being done in this area. Wellcome Trust and the Medical Research Council (MRC) currently support the project. —With files from Science Daily, BBC, and Reuters.

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Features

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010 features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

T he Queer issue

In spirit of coming out week

It gets

better Alcina Wong

Zoe Kim asst. features editor

A

t Greensburg High School in Indiana, 15-year-old Billy Lucas was bullied for being different. Though he never identified himself as being gay, he was taunted for his perceived sexual orientation, continuously called “fag” and told that he didn’t deserve to live. On Thursday, Sept. 9, his mother found his body in the family barn. He had hanged himself. This was just one of a string of queer suicides that occurred this fall, which moved prominent gay sex columnist, Dan Savage, into action. In his column titled, “Give ‘Em Hope” (a quote from the late, openly gay politician, Harvey Milk), he expresses his grief and frustration in not being able to talk to Lucas, even for five minutes, to tell him that “it gets better.” What makes him and so many other queer adults in despair is that they can’t help these kids during their high school

years when the bullying and feelings of alienation are at their worst. “We can’t barge into these schools. I get to go to colleges and speak, but high schools don’t bring me in, and those are the ages that young gay people are committing suicide,” he said. But he soon realized that though it may have been too late for Lucas, there were millions of gay youths that could still be reached. “Because of technology, we don’t need to wait for an invitation anymore to speak to these kids. We can speak to them directly,” said Savage. Since then, he has started a new YouTube channel called the It Gets Better Project, where he encourages other gay individuals to share their stories, explain that it does get better after high school, and that it’s possible to live happily as a homosexual. The response has been overwhelming as thousands of people have been submitting videos and creating an archive of testimonials for future generations of queer youths.

In his video, Dan Savage and his husband, Terry Miller, talk about their horrendous experiences with bullies in school, with apathetic and often equally homophobic administrators, and their families’ reactions when they came out. But they also talk about after graduation, the day they met each other, their son, the love they now receive (and deserve) from their families, and all their favourite memories since leaving the pain and despair of high school behind. “Living well is the best revenge, and if you can live through high school, which you can, you’re going to have a great life, and it’s going to be the envy of all those people that picked on you while you were in high school and middle school. So just stick it out. It’s painful now but it’s going to get so much better,” said Miller in one of Savage’s YouTube videos. See DARING, page 31

For more queer coverage see page 30 to 33

Under the queer umbrella: a definition of terms Queer — Many academics define queer as anything classified as socially deviant; any lifestyle, sexuality, or performance that is not a part of the heteronormative culture. Transgender — A person who is genderless or whose gender does not match their biological sex. A person who feels that they are male but is born with a female body (and vice versa) is transgendered.

Transsexual — A transgender person who undergoes surgery or other bodily alteration to appear more like their inner gender. A sex change surgery is one example of this. Asexual — A person who does not desire or is not motivated by sex. They are generally misconceived to not have sex at all. But many asexuals do partake in sexual activities to pleasure their partner. They can still get pleasure from sex. Pansexual

— Unlike bisexuals who are only attracted to male and females, pansexual are attracted to people of all genders.


Features

30

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

The Queer issue

Caitlin McIntyre staff reporter

W

hen people think about sexuality, three terms come to mind: heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. However, all of these subsections of human sexuality neglect to include a very important group of the LGBTQ community, the genderqueer. There are scores of individuals in our society that do not fit so comfortably into the confines of defined gender. Unfortunately, this often means that people who identify as trans-gendered, intersex, or even as androgynous can be excluded from the strict definitions of the three most commonly known sexualities. In recent years, there has been a slow uprising of other subdivisions of sexuality that are very much unknown outside of the queer community. Pansexuality, otherwise known as omnisexuality, is one of these new sections and it allows for one of the most fluid definitions of sexuality yet. Now, if you look up pansexuality online, unfortunately you will not find the wealth of information that exists on other sexual preferences. The idea is out there, however. The Free Dictionary, lists pansexuality as “relating to, having, or open to sexual activity of many kinds.” This definition isn’t quite accurate when compared to the social meaning of the term, which is defined not by the sexual activity, but rather the sexual

partner. For a more accurate description of what pansexuality entails, queer support sites or blogs are available online and give a much better social context to this form of sexual identity. An article on Queers United defines pansexuality accurately as “[capable] of attraction to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.” Pansexuals, as such, are individuals who do not hold gender as a constraint for love or intimate urges. Though they may have some physical preferences as to who they are attracted to, gender is not a part of that preference. It could be argued that there is no difference between bisexuality and pansexuality, however the two shouldn’t be confused. Where pansexuality denotes the sexual inclination towards people of all genders, even those who are gender-queer, bisexuality only pertains to two possible genders. Even the roots of their names, “bi” meaning two and “pan” being the Greek pre-fix for “all,” illustrates their stark difference. Where bisexuality and pansexuality do align is in the frequency of their isolation from both the heteronormative and queer communities. Like bisexuals, pansexuals have a difficult time maintaining their queer identity throughout the entirety of their lives. Not because their sexual inclination changes but merely because other individuals in their community begin to label them by the partners they choose. Should a pansexual

Where bisexuality and pansexuality do align is in the frequency of their isolation from both the heteronormative and queer communities.

individual eventually find a life-partner, they are often viewed as having found their “true sexuality.” Their pansexuality is then viewed as having been a “phase.” However, pansexuals who eventually partner with gender-queer individuals tend to have a much easier time maintaining their sexual identity. The pansexual community is small at present, but it is ever-growing. There have even been some support for the pansexual leaning in popular media recently. BBC’s Doctor Who spinoff Torchwood, featured many characters who followed the pansexual ideal, the idea of love and attraction without worrying about gender-confines. Granted a show about aliens is bound to be a little out-there, but the positive sentiments towards pan- and omnisexuality are very much present. The characters in the show didn’t self-identify as any specific sexuality, but their relationships included people of all genders and even some non-gendered otherworldly beings. Not to say that sexual attraction to aliens, or xenophilia as the science fiction community refers to it, is any part of the pansexual

When gender doesn’t matter

identity. Nonetheless for many uninformed individuals in society pansexual attraction to all genders, including individuals who are gender queer, is still an alien concept. What was a great success with Torchwood for the pansexual community was how the show normalized and ultimately diffused the shock value of the idea of fluid gender and sexuality. As social networking sites such as Livejournal and Tumblr are dedicating groups and pages to the pansexual community and popular media is beginning to mimic its ideals, it’s only a matter of time before information on this emerging sexual identity begins to expand. With knowledge, many individuals struggling with their own sexuality may find an explanation for their preferences and gender-queer individuals may find new friends and partners in the growing pan community. Its increasing support brings hope that the pansexuality will eventually become a well-recognized and widely embraced aspect of both the queer community and society as a whole. cmcIntyre@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

On another note: The new it word.

A community of many terms part 2

ALLOWEEN HSUPERSTORE

araw@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

“G

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lobal” is the new it word in our world of hyper-connectivity. Retailers and advertisers hype up their global brands. Financial analysts talk about the global marketplace. School and businesses tout themselves as global leaders in everything from education to technology innovation. Half of the emailed event invites in my inbox have the word “global” in their subject line somewhere. “Global” is also an integral part of the concept of the “global community,” a term awarded increasing relevance and consideration as the gaps between populations become smaller and smaller. This concept of being “global” is very much in focus for most of the world. But what does “global” mean in the context of the “global community?” It seems like an easy question. The answer is obvious: “global” means everyone on the planet. It means every man, woman, and child from every culture in every country on every continent. If only this ideal conception of “global” could be accepted and applied by everyone. Is this the definition of “global” that most people think of when they hear “global community?” No. The reality is that defining what “global” means in the context of the “global community” is a difficult exercise in perception and subconscious prejudice. For most people, their internal definition of “global” in the context of “global community” encompasses only a subset of the world’s total population, not the entire thing. Who does and does not belong in this subset that constitutes the “global community” is determined by the

perceptions and prejudices of each society or individual. The biggest determining factor of those who do not belong is difference. I’m not talking about the overt prejudice inherent in racism and religious bigotry by the subtle and subversive prejudice inherent in our classification of the world. We have a subconscious tendency of viewing economically underprivileged countries or communities as inferior and consequently excluding them from the global community that we’ve defined. For example, we might subconsciously decide that a small, rural village in Indonesia Africa, or South America couldn’t possibly be part of the hyper-connected, technologybased global community because it is economically underprivileged, lacking many of the technological luxuries we enjoy, and practicing a way of life that is very different from our own. This subconscious exclusion is more evident in loaded labels like “Third World” and “developing nation” that subtly exclude entire groups of people from the global community. These groups are often perceived as works-in-progress: attempting to join the global community, but not yet qualified. We justify our exclusion, but it is still a deviation from the ideal global community that includes everyone. “Global” is term whose definition is highly flexible and subject of considerable negotiation based on an individual’s relationship with the world. How it is defined depends on an individual’s unconscious biases and the subtle classification system we all employ. See GLOBAL, page 31


Features

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

31

T he Queer issue

Daring: a student for change

Courtesy Dan Savage

Dan Savage (right) and husband Terry Miller (left) tell their stories in their first video for the It Gets Better project. Savage has become a role model for many gay youths, including former UW student, A.Y. Daring. Daring, who has posted her own video for the It Gets Better Project, describes her struggles with her sexual identity and her experiences and feelings when coming to Waterloo. She explains that most of her struggles didn’t involve bullies and harassment, but was more of an internal battle. “I had a lot of friends and things went along pretty well, but I never felt like I could really relate to anyone,”

she said. Though she failed to find any role models in the media (where gay people were often the butt of the joke), she did find some at the theatres where her mother worked. “I grew up around theatre queens and they were my first glimpse into what it means to be an empowered adult who loves themselves regardless of what anyone thinks or what anyone has to say.” Like Daring, Savage believes it’s important to have people in your day-to-day life that you can look up to — people who aren’t celebrities.

Global: a biased definition Continued from page 30

Though it may seem wrong to classify the world into such a hierarchy, narrowing the concept of “global” to a certain subset of the population can be useful for researchers and analysts investigating specific data sets. Say the interconnectivity of the global community through social networking. This kind of study might find it useful to limit the definition of global to data sets within a certain economic bracket, depending on the nature and goals of the study. And international policy, such as for industrial development and environmental protection, might differ depending on how broadly the term “global” is defined. How, then, can we develop a workable definition for “global community” when the definition

of one of its key elements is so subjective? We may have to narrow the field in which we’re applying the term “global community.” The term might be defined differently in the field of economics than in the field of international politics and different again in the field of social interrelationships. I prefer the broadest definition of the term, one that includes the entire human population. This definition wouldn’t be appropriate or applicable to all fields of discussion, but for a discussion of an individual’s place in their own society and on our lovely planet Earth, I think the broadest definition is not only applicable but necessary. Global community, to me, is a world of people that have something in common. What that something (or things) is could take a lifetime to define and appreciate.

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Of stars like Ellen DeGeneres, Adam Lambert, and Neil Patrick Harris he said, “They’re good folks and important public figures, but those are gay celebrities. What are the odds of becoming a celebrity?” Because becoming a celebrity is like winning the lottery, he explains that kids have a hard time picturing a rewarding, good, average life for themselves. What they need is to see are happy, average, gay individuals to help them picture a happy, average life in their own futures. When Daring survived high school and entered university, her feelings of alienation and loneliness began to dissipate. “The independence of university really allowed me to start exploring my feelings,” she said. She also commends the available resources, which she finds are easier to access in university. She felt that in high school there was a problem with discretion, especially in smaller communities. “There are lots of resources available to youths, but they’re not always in a position to actually be able to go out and get them,” said Daring. “It’s a trip to go there. You have to plan it out and come up with excuses for where you’re going.”

Continued from page 29

It also has to do with growing up. Daring felt that once she entered university, there grew the maturity of understanding that asking for help didn’t mean defeat. “As you get older, you realize that not being able to do everything makes you human, it doesn’t make you weak,” she said. She believes that counselling is very empowering and that it is an avenue that people should explore if people find that their emotions are more than they have the tools to handle. GLOW (The Queer and Questioning Community Centre) has also been very helpful to Daring. “The positive reflection of yourself in your immediate physical environment really helps reinforce your self esteem,” she said. Because it promotes solidarity among queer people, as well as helps others understand that they are not alone, GLOW shows people that the things that makes a person unique are reasons to celebrate. Now that she is more confident in herself, Daring has become very vocal about who she is. She tries to be a “deliberate attention seeker” so that she may help reflect the diversity within the queer community. “It’s so rare to see queer

black women in the media and in the public eye, and one of my drives is to be out there,” she said. Though it was easier for Daring to find help and support in university, she doesn’t believe that it is a less homophobic atmosphere. Rather, she finds that people are merely able to better articulate their arguments: “It’s not necessarily that the world is less homophobic than it was when I was younger. I’m just finding that people who are homophobes just argue better than 13-year-olds.” To all those who have been told that they are being sinful and harassed for being who they are, Savage stresses that ending your life not only lets the bullies win, but also deprives you of all the potential happiness you could experience in your future. For those that have been silenced in their communities we need to give a voice. Like Daring, we need to adopt the attitude that it is better to be angry than be apathetic. We need to show all those that are suffering from bigotry that it is worthwhile to stick it out and that there is happiness and love in the future. features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca


32

Features

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

T he Queer issue

Accounts from the queer community

Robbie Ahmed uw student, member of the queer community

B

eing transgender is not easy. Being transgender in university presents its own set of challenges. Everyone fears new life on campus and dealing with things like classes, roommates, living in residence, as well as maintaining a social life. For me that fear was much greater. You can hide who you are attracted to, but you can’t really hide who you are or what your gender is. To most people it sounds like something from a science fiction novel that a person’s brain can be of opposite gender than their body, but to me it’s a constant reality. Ever since I could remember I always knew I was a boy, from as young as three years old. I knew that despite having a female body. When you are a child you tend to ignore these things, but when puberty hits, the nightmare begins. It is in middle school that gender differences are emphasized and you are constantly reminded of what you are.

When I was 13, I came to the realization that I was transgender and told my friends with hope that they would understand, but their reactions were hostile. When my parents found out, things got worse. My mother tried everything to change me. I even overheard her saying that she thought it was her fault that I was transgendered. Every night she forced me to take estrogen pills in hopes that I would feel more feminine. Once, she even brought an exorcist to make “the devil leave my mind.” What many people like my own mother don’t realize is that being transgender is not a choice. No one wants to be humiliated, threatened, or miserable. No one wants the world to hate them and no one wants to lose all their family and friends. I continuously tried to be a girl so it would make things easier for everyone, but I failed constantly, because you can’t pretend all your life; it becomes exhausting. I know that many people have the perception that transsexuals are

deviant people who change their gender because they feel like it, but no one wants to know the reasons behind it. You call it a gender change, I call it gender fixing. It’s correcting something that was wrong from the start. People look at me and they see a girl, but when I look at myself, I see a boy that has to try harder than the rest. I wish people knew that gender is not what is in people’s pants, but what’s in between their ears. You don’t have to doubt what your gender is and neither do I; I see it very clearly, but when I look in the mirror it’s ironic how what I see contradicts everything I know. I continue to live my life as if nothing is wrong and I have faith that there are better things ahead of me. I chose the University of Waterloo with hopes that I would find a safe environment and the chance to start from the beginning, this time by being myself and being confident about it. See TRANSGENDER, page 33

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Greg Demacio uw student, member of the queer community

B

efore coming to UW, I’d never met an openly gay person my age. I knew of a couple of people from my high school who were out but they seemed to be on the fringe of things, out of reach. I had a few close friends who knew I was gay and who were supportive but for the most part, I always felt very “other” from my peers, and as a result I never had many friends. In my first year at UW, I was determined to meet other people like myself, people who had gone through similar experiences and would understand some of the challenges I’d faced growing up and still faced today. I had done my research – I knew that GLOW was the queer group on campus and that attending GLOW events would probably be my best bet in meeting these people. Going to my first GLOW event at the end of frosh week (a movie showing of “Mambo Italiano”) I was extremely nervous. However, I came in with certain expectations of what was going to happen. What I had pictured in my mind was a bunch of wise, mature older students being very friendly and helping out a nervous group of first years as they navigated through this new environment. I also saw myself immediately connecting with a group of other first years, and basically forming the queer version of the “Friends” cast. And of course I imagined meeting Mr. Right, if not at this event then at least within the first couple of weeks of first year. But alas, it was not to be. It turned out that I was the only first year there, and everyone else already knew each other and were just casually chatting amongst themselves (or at least it seemed that way). The upper years didn’t particularly go out of their way to make me feel comfortable, though I did meet a few friendly people that night. One person actually invited me to go to Williams with a group of them after the movie was done. Although

wary of being the odd man out, I accepted the invitation and had a pretty decent time. I met Mr. Right, but within a couple of weeks someone else had scooped him up. For the fully functional friend unit, I ended up forming a bunch of independent friendships instead. These friendships didn’t happen overnight though. They occurred slowly, after several consecutive weeks of working up the courage to go to the weekly discussion nights that were held. What I found was that the same insecurities that plagued me in high school were still present when I was meeting these queer individuals. Many of them were already very comfortable with their sexual orientations, and many of them just seemed to be more mature and better rounded than I was. That said, I continued to attend GLOW events and later began volunteering for GLOW as the years went by. In doing so, I’ve made many new friends, and have managed to build up a social network of queer and queer-friendly individuals who I feel very comfortable discussing queer issues with. Although UW and GLOW didn’t bring about the storybook “coming of age” experience I had been expecting, they have both brought incredibly positive changes to my life. When I compare present-day Greg to high school Greg, I can hardly reconcile the two. I have more self-confidence, a deeper understanding of diversity issues (queer and otherwise), a deeper understanding of myself, and I just feel a lot happier in my own skin overall. What this has taught me is that it is very important to persist in difficult situations, even when the outcomes you’re presented with aren’t “perfect.” At the end of the day, when experiencing personal growth, although there are many friendly people out there and many resources available, no one is going to hold your hand through this. You are now a university student, and as such, the responsibility to get what you want from life rests with you. There are many things in life that we have no control over, and there are things we need to learn to accept. But everything else is yours for the taking.

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Features

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

33

T he Queer issue

Accounts from the queer indivduals

While I applaud GLOW (UW’S Queer and Questioning Community Centre) for the inviting community and queer-friendly events they put on during coming out week, I cannot commend a celebration under the label of “coming out.”

Dinh Nguyen

The Queer Divide: Sexual fluidity closeted Dinh Nguyen features editor

D

uring the beginning of Grade 10, my best friend convinced me to give him a blow job. Being raised in a traditional — homo-hating — East Asian culture, I was hesitant at first, but ended up going through with it out of curiosity and an undeniable physical attraction to him. After our fling, I fell, face first, in puppy love with my best friend. He became strongly religious — our friendship ended. With the taste of Pandora in my mouth, I wanted to experience more of this newfound sin. At this time, MSN chat rooms and ICQ were at the height of their popularity, so I took it to the Internet. I met up with a few people from town, took a bus to London, and went on many dates with strangers. Though I was ashamed of it, I wanted to be proud. I wanted to come out of the closet. I “knew” I was gay. Towards the end of Grade 10, I lost my virginity to a senior girl at a rave party. Still, I considered myself gay. I was half drunk and half under the influence of other substances; I did not acknowledge the act as a personal choice. In the middle of Grade 11, I met up with the girl from the party. We had sex. Several times. I was overjoyed; I thought I was “cured” from liking men. I was wrong. For the past eight years, I’ve been struggling with the desire to label myself based on my sexuality. As a result, I’ve acted accordingly to try and fit under these labels. At one point, I was bisexual, and as a bisexual male, I enjoyed the benefit of being invisible and being able to speak freely of my sexuality with less shame.

However, as a bisexual I’ve also received my share of hostility from both the gay and straight community, some telling me to make up my mind and choose one sex, others calling me a hedonist because they could not relate. I’ve come out of the closet many times only to put myself in another one. In doing so, I’ve come to realized that there are precautions to take with every label we place on our sexuality. People judge and treat others based on their sexual labels. These sexual labels are associated with gender labels. We assume that straight males are masculine like lesbians are butch, the same way we see gay men as flaming (reenacting female stereotypes to an extreme), and bisexual men as being confused about their sexuality. In her most influential book, Gender Troubles, University of British Columbia queer theorist, Judith Butler, argues that traditional feminism has restricted gender identity down to two clear-cut categories, women and men. These groups are asserted to share common characteristics and interests because masculine and feminine genders are culturally constructed upon “male and female bodies.” Butler believes that this is a mistake of traditional feminism, as it leaves no room for a person to create their own individual identity outside of gender stereotypes. These identities also encompass sexual identities. Labels on sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc.) leave no room for sexual fluidity or experimentation. They leave people with a strict definition to which they are passively encouraged to conform themselves to. Sexuality becomes anything but personal. It is a group; it is a political movement; it is a lifestyle; it is an identity — it is what defines a person. It becomes the person, when it should

only be one of many traits that make up who a person is. These labels are further perpetuated by notions like “coming out week.” While I applaud GLOW (UW’S Queer and Questioning Community Centre) for the inviting community and queer-friendly events they put on during coming out week, I cannot commend a celebration under the label of “coming out.” In essence, GLOW’s events may be creating a queer-friendly space for people of all sexual and gender identities, but the name in which their celebration is under still invites and perpetuates label stigmas. To “come out” is to acknowledge that a closet exists in the first place. Theorist Eve Segewick was the first to argue that “the closet re-creates itself.” The notion of “out” implies that queer individuals have free will, and that they are hiding their identity because they want to. It does not acknowledge that we live in a hetero-normative society with a very queerphobic culture. The idea that a queer individual has to come out implies that they are abnormal compared to their straight counterparts. People never come out as straight do they? So long as there is a closet, queers will never be considered equal to heterosexuals. There will always be a divide based on labels, as people in society will continue to judge others based solely on their sexualities. Only when people stop coming out of the closet and just be who they wish to be can we truly get rid of the closet. This process also includes the avoidance of sexual labels as it encourages people to be comfortable with who they are and not who they are expected to be under the influences of labels. As a result, sexual and identity fluidity is the outcome.

Like Alfred Kinsey, I do not believe that a person’s attraction to gender stays static once they “figure out” their sexuality. According to the Kinsey scale, there is no such thing as people who are 100 per cent gay or straight, or exactly in the middle (bisexual). People’s sexuality fluctuates depending on particular factors and stages in their lives. I considered myself gay, and then I thought I was bisexual. Most recently I indentified as pansexual (attraction to all genders and non gendered people). Now I prefer not to label myself, and only use the term pansexual as a descriptive means. Even though pansexuality encompasses my sexual attraction, labeling myself with any term that ends in “sexual” implies that part of my identity is only based on sex. It puts too much emphasis on the sexuality and not enough on identity and the person as a whole. Even in healthy relationships, which “sexuality” usually decides, sex is only a small part of it. Our society tends to focus only on the fact that couples have sex, but a relationship is made up of so many other things. We are either told to acquire sex or avoid it. We even allow it to define us. But consider this: if an asexual person is someone who is not motivated by or desires sex, but is still able to have sex with their partners for pleasure (and for the pleasure of their partners), then is it not possible for people to be sexual towards some genders and asexual towards others? Sexuality is complex, and so are personal identities. We should not assume that all people experience the same thing. We should not assume that all people fit perfectly under labels. dnguyen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Transgender: Stuck in the wrong body Continued from page 32

Luckily, students in university are more mature than they are in high school. So far my roommate has been very accepting and nice and so was my entire floor in residence. My don has been great and understand-

ing and I appreciate all the support people have shown me. Of course, there are still some people who will make fun of me on the streets laughing and pointing, sometimes remarking “Is that a girl or a boy?” but you eventually learn not to care about what people say.

In between classes I like going to the GLOW office where I am surrounded by people who won’t judge me or make any assumptions. We might not have that much in common, because being transgender is not the same as being gay or bisexual, but we all share the same

cohesive feeling of being different and it makes us feel that we are not alone after all. Life does get hard, especially when you wake up every day in a body of the opposite gender of who you are, but things do get better. From the country where I came from,

people were so close minded that I couldn’t tell anyone about being transgendered, but its amazes me how open minded people here are. I am sure that I will face some individuals who won’t understand, but there is no better reason to live than to fight for being who you are.


34

Comics & Distractions

Application for a new wingman

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

SUNSHINE ANIMAL Marta Borowska imprint staff

I

know way too many people here right now that I did know last year. I have terrible friends. Allow me to explain: last week my roommates and I were at a drinking establishment. A girl whom I did not know approached me and told me she “really liked my articles.” Money money in the bank At this point in time, with ego oozing from my pores (read: sweat, a lot of it), and my self-confidence edging somewhere between “delirious” and “Barney Stintson,” my roommate saw this as his “in” and proceeded to edge me out, and then made out with her. Once again, I have terrible friends. Though they are all just as selfish as me (I will, and have, cockblocked purely out of spite, and sometimes just for no reason at all), I have realized that for the purposes of going out, I will need to put out an application for a new wingman. Socially, my roommates are selfseeking, and generally just the worst thing to happen to humanity since Original Sin. So what are the criteria for being my wingman? Actually quite a bit for someone who really shouldn’t be allowed to be picky about choosing friends.

Applicants must be more muscular than me This is the easiest to qualify for. Ghandi on his hunger strike was more jacked then I am, and I once lost an arm wrestle to Christian Bale while he was filming The Machinist (this is an obscure reference, but for you simpletons out there, just replace “Christian Bale” with “Mischa Barton”). The reason for this criterion is that I will get on people’s nerves, and am a big pussy. I don’t need anyone to actually fight anybody else, but just to hang around me so as to discourage possible violent altercations. Applicants cannot be taller than me I am 6’1’’ and my height is one of the very few things I have going for me at bars (other than the fact that I have no shame, and am on the Waterloo debate team, again, very little). Applicant must be able to “carry the team” I am too cheap to buy drinks at bars, in fact, I cry a little in the bathroom stall after I am forced to pay cover. See ALCOHOL page 35

R

oar, growl, purr. The sounds of the mighty leopard. Their stealthy movements and furry camouflage put them near the top of the food chain in their African, Asian, and Indian habitats. Feeding on antelope, deer, and monkeys, leopards often lift the body of its prey up into the heights of trees in order to eat in peace and ensure that animals such as hyenas and lions do not indulge in their kills, too. A thick and tawny coat envelops the leopard. It is covered with spots that are referred to as rosettes because they frequently take the form of a rose. Two years after their birth or once they master hunting their own food, the leopard becomes a solitary animal. Their large eyes aid their nocturnal lifestyle while hunting. While they enjoy being alone, leopards cannot resist the other gender. The male leopard will know when the female is ready to mate by the scents that she leaves with her urine. Once he figures this out, the two will mate 70 to 100 times a day for four to six days. Talk about makin’ love. After hundreds of mating sessions, the male abandons the female, leaving her to take care of their cubs, which she will give birth to about three

months later. Many of the cubs will be eaten by predators, typically leaving the mother with only one or two to care for. While we have labelled this animal as having

an elegant pattern, we must recognize that its compelling attractiveness is not only skin deep. mborowska@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

tiffany lee

Rosetta the Leopard Rosetta works part-time as a runway model and part-time as the manager of a hard rock band called feD Leppard. She runs like an energizer bunny in the bedroom but despises commitment. If you ever wanna get rough with Rosetta, give her a call at 519 LEO-PARD.


Comics & Distractions

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

Must love alcohol

Solutions:

35

Oct.8, 2010

Continued from page 34

For this reason, before I go out, I drink enough alcohol to keep me drunk throughout the night. The result is a serious imbalance in the scale of “Earliness of the night” and “How drunk Jordano Tonial is.” When everyone is relatively sober at 11 p.m., I am drunk enough to say outrageous things like: “Dude, The Office is still funny” or “Italians are not terrible people.” And because I don’t buy drinks, by the end of the night I’m generally somewhat sober while everyone else is drunk. For this reason, I will not be in any shape to talk to anyone at bars (except for at around 12:40, when the crowd and I cross paths on the drunkness scale, with me going down, and them going up.) The ideal wingman should be able to “carry the team,” in terms of being social, paying for drinks, and generally just making sure people around me are having a good time.

My Dearest &Darling MLB I saw you for the first time this term last Thursday in the SLC. I miss the compression shirt &headband. I also miss seeing you on Saturdays. Maybe I’ll come back for Homecoming next year.

Applicants who are blackout drunks strongly favoured

Affectionately yours, Awestruck

To counteract the fact that my wingmen are always better in social situations than I am, I have always had around the ‘blackout drunk clause’. Applicants must have an extreme love for alcohol in the sense that once they start drinking they can’t stop drinking until there is absolutely no booze left or they pass out in the bathtub with the shower running. Either one is acceptable The reason this clause is in place is because when the end of the night nears and my wingman has successfully gotten a group of people to hang out with us, he will become so drunk that he is no longer socially acceptable — thus, the only alternative left is I, who is now sober, and has calmed down because he has danced to “California girls” four or five times. Another important point in this category is that blackout drunks will often freely loan money for drinks, cabs, and (censored) and will not remember loaning me said money the next morning, therefore voiding the debt. If you feel like you meet all four of these conditions, please, send me an e-mail at jtonial@imprint.uwaterloo.ca, and I will probably respond within seconds, reeking of desperation.

Go Warriors Go!

Dear Nice Legs, You are really hot and fashionable, which doesn’t make any sense because you’re in a tough CS class. Also, you have nice legs.

Missed any connections lately? Got any ideas, gripes, or randomly entertaining thoughts?

Guy who was drunk that one time in class

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36

Comics & Distractions

Imprint, Friday, October 15, 2010

MICHAEL TO (irresponsiblyoptomistic@imprint.uwaterloo.ca)

lisa mai (distractions@imprint.uwaterloo.ca)

ADRIENNE RAW (araw@imprint.uwaterloo.ca)

“J.T.” (geese@imprint.uwaterloo.ca)


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